After unknown hours debating the matter with Marianne (and listening to her dad and a friend do the bit in GI Jukebox), Who's on First has become slightly special to me. :) Heck, I even created a character (in another fandom) who, even after 8,000 years of existence and 60 years of pondering the matter, cannot understand that the man's name is Who. That having been said, I had to write this...blame it on that knock on the head I go just before writing it (concussions can be fun!)...(though chances are good it would have been written anyway...). It's completely silly, but...

Who Killed Him?!

Johnny couldn't believe it. Suicide? Kelly Brackett? Never. But that was the scuttlebutt around Rampart General.

"Well, we don't know it was a suicide," Carol explained. "If you ask me...murder, clear and simple."

"You think so?" This sounded much more logical.

"Yeah." Carol nodded. "Why else would he have taken a jump like that? Besides, suicide? Him? No. Your average human, maybe, but Kel? Gimme a break. I don't even think Kel knew how to commit suicide."

The paramedic assumed she was speaking figuratively. "So who killed him?"

"That's what they say." Carol nodded again. "Dixie's real torn up about it. She just came home and found him there..."

"He was dead when she found him?" Poor Dix...

Carol thought for a moment. "I think they said he was still twitching a little when she got there...but it was too late to do anything." She shook her head slowly. "It's all so sad, really."

"Who killed him?" Johnny asked again.

"Yeah," Carol answered, sighing. "I just can't believe it, you know? I never really liked the guy at first...but he really grew on me."

"I know exactly what you mean," Johnny agreed. "He seemed so arrogant when I first met him, but he changed after we got to know each other. He turned into a real pal." Johnny still wasn't sure the news had hit him yet. It seemed too sudden. "I...I'm really gonna miss him."

"I know...I could have watched him forever sometimes...dashing back and forth...always busy with something else to do. He never slept almost." Carol's expression turned solemn as she turned away. "Dixie's in the lounge if you wanted to talk to her."

"How's she doing?"

"A little better now that it's had time to sink in...she really loved him, though."

"I'd heard that..." Johnny had long since suspected it himself. "You say she found him when she came home? Why was he in her apartment?"

"He lived there." Carol shrugged. "I figured you knew."

"No...how long had they been living together?"

"I guess about a year now..."

Still reeling from the news, Johnny headed into the lounge. Dixie was sitting on the couch, a tissue in her hand. He sat down gently. "How're ya doing, Dix?"

"Better." She shrugged at him. "I can't believe I'm letting myself get so upset..."

"I'd be surprised if you weren't," he assured her. "You cared a lot about him...it's okay to feel like you do..."

Dixie considered his words. "Yeah. I just never thought it would end this way."

"No one ever does."

"Isn't that the truth." Dixie patted his hand as he placed it on top of her other hand. "He still had a few good years left in him. You know, I knew it could be a bad idea the minute I brought him in...I knew how high maintenance he'd be...but...I think it was worth it in the end. You can't live your life fearing what'll happen next."

"No." Johnny agreed. "Dix, I'm so sorry..."

She nodded. "I know...thanks. Too bad you never really knew him..."

I assume she means outside of work? "Yeah. So..." Johnny knew the next question could be tough but he had to ask. "What about the...arrangements?"

"Oh, that." Dixie waved a hand dismissively. "It's been taken care of already. I did it last night."

"Last night?"

She smiled almost wryly, despite herself. "Well, I couldn't just leave him there on the floor like that! I still don't know how that jerk got in to kill him--I should pay closer attention to that lock. I knew it was acting up--I just hadn't made time to call my landlord. And then Kel winds up dead because that nut job got in."

"Who?"

"Yeah." Dixie's eyes flashed. "I know he hated me, but to kill Kel for revenge? That's just...twisted, you know? He was helpless!"

"Kel, helpless?" Johnny couldn't picture it.

Dixie seemed speculative. "Well, he did have quite a bite. But, size wise, Kel didn't stand a chance. I don't doubt he gave him a run for his money, though."

"Gave who a run for his money?"

"Yeah. I know it had to be him."

"Who?"

"That's what I said."

Johnny's confusion was not clearing up. Overall, Dixie seemed remarkably calm given how close she and Brackett were. Of course, she was a tough lady; it might have been a front. But why wouldn't she say who killed him if she knew? And how? Carol had said something about a jump--but if he'd been inside Dixie's apartment, that didn't make much sense. "So...how did...whoever it was kill him?"

"You mean Who?"

"Who killed him?"

"Yeah. Who." Dixie nodded. "As to the how...I guess he just picked him up and...tossed him there...I can't see Kel taking that jump on his own!"

"What jump?"

"From the dresser."

"He jumped from the dresser?" This was getting really wild...

"No, he fell...Who killed him."

"That's what I asked you!"

Dixie sighed. "I..." She trailed off as someone else entered the room. "Oh. Hello."

Johnny's mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out. Kel Brackett was standing in the doorway to the lounge as if nothing had happened. Am I losing it?

Brackett sighed softly, nodded to Johnny in greeting, then looked back to Dixie. "Okay...if it means anything to you at all...I was sorry to hear about the damn fish..."

Dixie smiled slightly. "You liked him."

"No, I won't admit that." He shook his head softly. "You have a wicked sense of humor; you know that?"

"Yes." She smiled at him.

Kel just shook his head. "If you ask me, you were enjoying that whole incident a little too much…don't tell me it's just a coincidence you got that fish a week later…and you would have had to name it…"

"You have no sense of humor about it," Dixie countered, cutting him off.

Slowly, John began to figure out exactly what was going on. He'd heard bits and pieces of the story of Brackett's run-in with a catfish…unless he missed his (current) guess…Dixie had a pet fish…which she'd named after Kel…it was all beginning to make sense now. Well, except the part about the fish being murdered.

"So…" Johnny began, "someone murdered the fish."

"You think it was Bob?" Kel asked Dixie.

"Yeah, definitely," she answered.

Finally! Johnny grinned. Now they were getting somewhere. "Bob who?"

"Exactly!" Dixie replied. "Bob Who."

Back to square one…"That's what I asked you…"

"That's what I told you."

Haven't I seen this act before? Suddenly, things began to dawn on him. "Bob…Who. His last name is Who."

"Yeah." Dixie nodded. "And he killed my fish."

"Why?"

"Honestly? I don't know." Dixie shrugged.

"I think he's on third," Johnny muttered, shaking his head as he left.

Well…I TOLD you it was going to be silly… :)