This time David had a room at the end of the hallway. And there were two big windows to look out of. As Aurora approached his bed he looked almost the same as he had yesterday. Sad.
" David. How are you doing this morning ? "
No answer.
" You know ...you shouldn`t scare a girl like that. Changing rooms in the middle of the night. A girl could lose you. "
No answer.
Aurora brought the chair closer to the side of the bed and got comfortable.
*** This might be a long session*** she thought to herself.

" Okay David what is it you would like to discuss today ? "
With no answer coming soon, she said " Did you have a dream ? "
Dead giveaway......as he curled up when she said that.
" Talk to me David . Progress can`t happ...."
The sound of a timid little boys voice interrupted her " I`m scared. "

Silence.

Still not moving but speaking he said "You know, I`ve been plenty scared before Aurora. But not as much as I am now. I know there are alot of things that I need to tell you but I don`t even know where to start. The beginning , the middle, or the end. They`re all bad. Can you see that ?"
Aurora sat motionless *** keep going David ...keep going *** she thought.
" I have tried to stop the dreams." he said looking at her with helpless eyes.
"Right from the farmhouse nine months ago, all I have wanted was to be free again. I can`t attain freedom, because everywhere I go everywhere I look I see that freak and and what he and his goons did. "
Reaching out to him she touched his arm and said " Your freedom is attainable David, It`s even more than attainable........it`s real.
As tears welled up in his eyes he sank even more into the curled up position that he was in, closed his eyes and cried.
From where she sat alongside his bed she could hear his painful words,
" Why me ? "he said " Why me ? "
" Okay David, let`s talk about the why. Alright ? But in order to get to the why, we have to know the what. So ..."
As Aurora was asking David her question, she was also hoping that he wouldn`t retreat......"Come on David , tell me what happened ! "

From beneath the security of the hospital blankets David lifted his head, his eyes red and swollen from crying, his cheeks flush with red and streaked by his tears, Tears of shame and tears of failure. But there was also other feelings present.........those of hope. those of strength. They were only small stems, but they would grow to be great vines. Ones that would not easily break .

" Okay Aurora, let`s go back. Back to the dreams....the damn farmhouse....that`s where I was......I.....I went in and ...and there was b...bl...blood. All over the place. The bastards hacked up everyone in the house. "
" David ? you okay ? "
His fear spoke volumes to her. She could see it in his eyes and she could hear it in his voice. Without warning his demeanor changed.....
" Hutch ? "he said. Looking over to Aurora with a sense of panic and frustration he continued " I wanted to call for Hutch. I was trying to call for him but my mouth wouldn`t work. I am in that house .....something was drawing me in. Something was pulling me.....Aur--- I couldn`t get away....Something was keeping me there. "
His tone was a mix of fear and anger.
I had to walk over pieces of bodies.......I----
He seemed to be getting a bit more agitated.
But then suddenly he seemed to be quiet....but nervous.....
Aurora looked at him. "David ? she asked.
"Huh ? " he said looking a bit confused. Continuing he said " Now it changes......`Nam..... I`m back in that hellhole.....I`m in the middle of a fire fight....There`s blood all over the place........gi`s are dead all around me, one of them even had a....a......little boy Aurora ... and he was......dead too.....All I wanted to do was kill the gooks ! I start firing back ....like a .....madman......But I couldn`t see them, Where are you, you bastards ? One of my buddies are callin` me.....Dave ! Dave ! He wants me to come back to safety... I`m looking for him but I can`t see him........I can`t see him.....I........ can`t ......see......him...."
Sobs escape his eyes. But then he continues....
" Then I`m back in the damn house Aurora ! Only now I`m going up the stairs.....something in me doesn`t want to go up there but...I just keep walking.
I ran my left hand on the banister....just for a second "
Now he holds his left hand ...palm up and looks into it. "There was blood on it Aurora! I saw faces...... in...... the......blood. Lots of them.......they wouldn`t go away....
But I had to go ....upstairs.......I don`t want to but I can`t stop myself....I was driven Aurora. Driven to go into------"
He doubles over in his bed just like he was going to get sick.
" Come on David..".Aurora encouraged him let it come .....don`t fight it okay sweetheart...."
Fighting with letting it go he said through clenched teeth
"th--the n-urrrse---ry!" he said.
Aurora could only imagine what was coming and kept hoping that her patient wouldn`t give in. This is good as far as she was concerned.
He continued only his anger and fear were now cloaked under a thin blanket of tears. "There are c..r..i...b..s ..........two of them...." He was pretty despondent .
I walk over to them and look in and there "they" are....."
He stops for a minute and looks at Aurora and cocks his head.....
His anger building he says " Seven of them.......seven skulls.......no eyes.....no noses........no lips....and no hair............"
Quickly he seems to re-gain his composure.........." Hutch ? " he said looking around the room....."Where`s Hutch ? " he says again .
Now his eyes had real tears...tears that cried out to her for help. Tears that screamed for his rescuer......his savior.
" Where the HELL is Hutch ? " he said.
She looked at him and his hands were clenched.
" HHHUUUUUTTTCCCHHH ! " he screamed.
Aurora dropped her book and ran up to him. She held his hands and tried to get him to calm down. " David ! " she screamed. " Calm down !
He being alot stronger than her, pushed her away with his arms.
Calm down damnit ! " Seeing that wasn`t working she glanced down towards the bedside, she saw the call button for the nurses.
Within a few minutes they were there. Beth at the helm. " What on earth is going on ? " Beth asked.
" He needs a sedative....get him a sedative. "
" Okay. " Beth said.
" You two hold him down and I`ll be right back with the shot. " she said to the two aides that had come in with her.
Then she turned to Aurora and told her to back away and sit down until they were done.

After about ten minutes Beth relaxed a little more knowing that her patient was resting peacefully in his bed.

And figuring that her patient had had enough for the day, Aurora turned and began to walk to the door. Beth had re-assured her that if anything changed that she would let her know.

Just as she told Captain Dobey, Aurora stopped by the station and picked up the medical examiners reports that she had asked for. Later that night in Aurora`s kitchen, Simon Marcos` victims were laid out all over her kitchen table. The horrific nature of the crimes were unmistakable.

And where was Aurora ? Down the hall in her bathroom, pouring everything she had just read into her toilet. It was incomprehensible to her that such a person could exist. And her body was trying to rid her of that knowledge.

Chapter 22

The next day started off okay. Thank god....... after the night she had,Aurora knew that she would be calling Hutch. She had to. When she spoke to him yesterday she could sense his pain. And hearing David call for his friend the way that he did, well, she knew it was time to get them together. So gathering up the nasty files and placing them inside her briefcase, she walked towards the door and picked up her keys and headed straight for the office.

Across town , Hutch was waking up . His pain was evident in his red swollen eyes. The lines on his face were well defined . As he stepped out of his friends bed he paused for a moment and ran his hand along the comforter. Slowly as if trying to capture the essence of his friend. Walking over to the bathroom he looked around as if he heard the voice of his friend. He longed for that, but it was not there.
For the last two and a half weeks , ever since Starskys breakdown, every single day, for a few hours, Hutch sat outside his friends hospital room. Being the silent supporter. That`s why it hurt so much when Aurora called and told him that Starsky didn`t think it was a good idea for him to come and see him. He could understand why Starsky felt that way, but he was getting angry because he wanted to tell Starsky how sorry he was. Sorry for everything. Today he would let Aurora know that.
So after going about his morning routine, he headed for the front door. Before leaving he grabbed his keys. With a new determination, he headed to Auroras office.

David Starsky however was recieving news of a different kind. Dr. Franklin`s visit proved to be very positive.
"David. I think you`ll be able to go home in a few days. "
David didn`t know how to react to that. So from the security of his bed he shrugged his shoulders and said apathetically "That`s terrific."
" Come on David. Surely you can`t want to stay here ?" Dr. Franklin asked.
David just looked at him "It`s not that Doc. " he said.
"Then what son ? What is it ? I mean all your wounds are healing up nicely, and Miss. Madisons visits can take place at her office. "
David turned and looked out both of the big windows.
" David ? "
Trying to appear less apathetic he said.
" Aw, it`s nothin` Doc. You wouldn`t understand anyway. I`ll talk with Aurora about it when I see her later. "
Dr. Franklin knew what it was that was bothering his patient, but he had a job to do too. And it was finished. Davids stay at Memorial would end in just three short days.
"Good." he said. " I will finish all of the paperwork and you`ll be all set ."
Under his breath, again with the apathetic tone to it David managed to get out one more " Terrific. "

The door closed and David Michael Starsky was left alone once again. Left to his thoughts.

Auroras car pulled in at Metro just about the same time Hutch`s did. Both people found themselves walking at a quicker pace trying to reach their respective destinations. On the way over to Auroras office Hutch found himself being continually interupted.
" Hey Hutch. Tell that partner of yours he`s gotta get back here! He still owes me that five bucks. " One officer said as he laughed.
" Hey Hutch. How`s Starsky ? "
" He`s okay Bernie. He`s doin` okay." he said. Even though he really didn`t know.
One by one officers and detectives would approach him about his partner.
As Hutch walked down the hall, he thought,
< If only you could see.....If only you could see, Starsk. They all really miss you. >
And just before he got to Auroras office there was a slight tug on his arm.
The slightly husky voice said "Hey Hutch. "
Hutch turned around, " Minnie. " he said, as he gave her a big hug.
" how ya doin` ? " he said.
"Oh...I`m okay...but.... Well, you look like you could use a drink." she said smiling a bit, trying to ease what was painfully obvious to her.
Hutch tried his best not to appear exhausted . He put his head down a bit and said
"Yeah well, you kno---"
Minnie rubbed his arm gently and interupted him.
" Hey, there`s no need to explain honey."
Now with his head raised he was rubbing the back of his neck. "Thanks Minnie." was all he said.
Minnie looked at Hutch and smiled. She could see his pain, so she asked him gently "How is he Hutch ? And don`t hold nothin` back. Okay? "
Hutch knew he could trust her. She is Starskys friend too.
" Well Minnie, Truth is I don`t know. He doesn`t want to see me. I haven`t seen him for about two weeks. He`s mad at me. "
Minnie looked hard into Hutch`s eyes as if gazing into his soul. She tightened her grip on his arm and said,
" Now listen, Don`t you give up. He thinks of you better than he thinks of his own brother. I know ........he told me. " Now smiling she says " He`ll come around. Just don`t give up. "
" I know Minnie. I just want this whole nightmare to be over. "
She said " I know honey........ we all do. "
Then, In a way only Minnie could produce, she leaned in close to him and asked
" How are YOU doin` ? Huh ?"
Hutch was surprised. <Is it that obvious> he thought.
" Well ? How are you doin` Hutch ? " she asked again.
Hutch being who he is said " Minnie, The most honest answer I could give you .....would be.......so-so. I mean I have to be strong for Starsk right ? But..... I need him........to be strong.....for me.... Does that sound right ?"
His answer was met with total understanding and compassion.
" Sure it does Honey. " she said. And then she placed her right hand on her hip and pointed the second finger of her left hand right at him and said, "And don`t you go feelin` quilty about it ! Ya` hear me."
For a brief second the old Hutch was back, That golden innocent smile came across his face. He looked right back at Minnie and said "Thanks. I won`t. "

With that he proceeded to tell her that he was sorry but he would be late for an important appointment, and the last thing she said to him was " Okay , But you tell him Hutch.....Tell him when you see him that we`re all behind him. Okay ? "
" You got it Minnie...you got it. "

Continuing on his journey he rounded the corner and entered Auroras office.
As he entered the office he was greeted by Karen. Auroras secretary.
" Can I help you ?" she asked him.
" Ah yes...yes you can. I am looking for Aurora. I`m Detec---."
Before he got a chance to finish , Aurora cut him off,"---tive Hutchinson."
Both seemed to look a bit surprised.
" I was just trying to reach you. " Aurora said as she stood behind him in the doorway.
"Well now, looks as if I got the messege. " he said with a slight grin.
He continued " Look Aurora, I really need to talk to you. "
Not surprised in the least she walked over to him and tugged on his right arm, " No...I need to talk to you." With that she pulled him into her office . On their way in and just before she closed the door she looked back at Karen and said in a low whisper " Hold my calls Karen ...Okay. "
Karen just nodded her head as if her intuition told her that this was pretty serious.

Hutch found himself sitting directly in front of her desk. He was curious about Auroras last statement . inside his head he questioned himself.
<What does she want to know from me ? Did Starsky tell her something ....it doesn`t matter because I am gonna see Starsky. Come hell or high water I am.>

His thought process was interupted. "Well, I guess you must be just a little curious as to what I have to talk to you about....right ? " she said.
"Well that`s pretty obvious. But look, ..." he said
Aurora came around to the front of the desk and leaned back on it. She placed her hands close beside her on the edge of the desk. She was quiet.
" Aurora... I`m trying very hard to understand and to be patient, but....he`s my friend damnit. He`s acting like he went through all of this alone. " Hutch had a mixture of emotions going on. He didn`t quite know how to express them.
" Damnit Aurora I`m angry. Angry at everything and well, afraid that I will lose the one thing that has been everything to me. "
He looked up at Aurora and he looked lost. Hutch had never been able to show his emotions freely,on the outside, but his verbal expressions told everything. Now with a renewed passion his expressions shone not only through his eyes but also in his hands,which were clenched tightly, but not angrily he said " He`s....Starskys in my soul. " Reaching up towards his heart he pounded his chest and said " He`s right here Aurora. If I lose him.....I might as well go too. We are two halves of a whole. And right now.....I need to feel complete. I need to see him. I won`t leave that hospital today until I see him. "

Aurora raised her hand up to her chin. She took her thumb and middle finger and wiped her eyes to hide her tears. She walked slowly back over to her desk and sat in the chair.
She looked at Hutch and saw the empty half. She remembered Starsky yesterday crying out for his friend. Looking over at Hutch she leaned into her desk and clasped her hands together as if she were praying. She then sat back in her chair and placed her hands over the back of her head.
Softly she said to him " Sometimes in life I am truly amazed at how things come to be. Last night I went home, I had the Autopsy reports and pictures. I tried to look closely at them, I really did, but I couldn`t . I thought about you , Ken, and David. I thought about how lucky I am.... I only had to look at the pictures, but you two lived this. Then after I finished puking my guts out, I came back to the kitchen and thought about everything that happened yesterday. Your phone call to me , and David `s session. "
After pausing briefly she continued " I came here this morning to call you and you came here this morning to speak to me, and the Ironic thing is that we had the same exact thing on our mind. "
Hutch sat bolt upright in his chair. Like a little kid waiting for his friend to come out and play. Aurora looked at him and saw a slight smile and a distinct twinkle in his eye.
" Obviously , I can`t just bring you over there and let you walk right in on him. And you must understand that I still have to see him alone.....okay ? We can ride over to the hospital together, and I`ll talk to him briefly. Then if he wants to see you, we can go ahead. Is this okay with you ?"
Well Aurora didn`t have to wait very long for Hutch`s answer because before she knew it, he was standing up giving her the biggest hug. "Okay ?" he said. Aurora could feel Hutch`s emotions. " Okay ?" he said as he finished giving her the hug. He backed away from her, placed both of his hands on her shoulders, and looked at her. A soft "Thank You . " was all he could manage.
" Hutch ? " Aurora said, " Give me a minute. " He nodded as he went and sat and waited for her .

No-one could understand the depth of the feelings that run between these two men. No-one but them. They understood. They went through it all together right from the beginning of their careers. Every time one suffered the other knew. And when they needed help they were always there for each other. Always. Why should now be any different.

Hutch sat silently in the car on his way to Memorial. Wondering about his friend...
< please Starsk, don`t turn me away. Whatever it takes to get you through this, I`ll do it. just please don`t turn me away.> he thought to himself.

Chapter 23

Meanwhile inside Davids room, there was too much quiet. David was now sitting up in his bed. Looking out his window. Thinking about his last session with Aurora.
<That dream was awful. First being in that house and then being in `nam and then back in that house. It really stinks> he thought to himself. And now on top of everything else, in three days he was going home. He knew that he couldn`t stay at Memorial forever but could he do this ? < If only Hutch could be here > he thought. Starsky got up and walked around the room. <Would Hutch even forgive me ?> he thought.
Beth walked in and startled him a little. " How`s my patient this morning ? " she said looking brightly at him.
" Well, aside from being a little startled......I`m okay. " he said.
" Okay ?Didn`t Dr. Franklin tell you that you could go home in a few days ? " she said.
" Oh yeah. He did.....I just wish I could take a certain wonderful nurse home with me. " he said giving her the old Groucho Marx treatment, eyebrows and all
" Whadya say huh? wanna go with me ? " As he finished he did the Groucho walk all the way to his bed. Beth just stood and watched him.
< It was nice to see him up and around.> she thought to herself smiling.

If she only knew what was really going on....

" Come on hotshot . In your bed. Your morning visitor will be here soon. " she said.
So in the bed he went. Beth went all around the bed, making sure he was tucked in just right and seeing to his every need.
Just before she got out of reach, he asked her "Beth ?"
She replied " Yes David. "
" Do you believe in the concept of soulmates ? "
Turning to look at him she said " Are you actually interested ? "
He said " Come on ....Do you belive in the concept of soulmates ? "
Beth studied his violet / indigo eyes and thought for a moment---"Well David, "
she said softly "I believe that in this life, each one of us has someone special. Be it a friend, a lover , a family member, whatever. Someone that we go to in times of trouble, someone that we trust implicitly, someone we could tell our darkest secrets to. you know ? "
Looking just a bit happier he said " Yeah I do. But what happens if that so called friend betrays you ? "
Beth now sat on the edge of Davids bed and took his hand in hers. " Well, if that friend is truly your soulmate then .....don`t you think his or her betrayal would be nagging at them ? I mean I couldn`t do something to my friend with out it bothering me. I would do whatever I could to get to her and tell her I was sorry. And I would hope she would forgive me. And , besides, what if my betrayal to her was an accident or a miscommunication or worse yet a mis-conception ? "
David still struggled a bit to form a fist. Physical therapy was helping, but he still struggled. Sensing this , Beth placed her hand around Davids a little bit more. He looked up at her and his eyes told her thank you.
" Yes , you are right. And if it were an accident or any of those other things then.....well....... then you would miss out on a lifetime of friendship......and for no good reason. " he said.
Beth was a good nurse and she could read right between his words. " David ? "
she said hesitantly.
" Huh ? " he said.
She answered him a little tentatively
" You know........I know Hutch is your friend......probably your soulmate.....and I don`t know what he did, but it must have hurt you an awful lot. Now I am no expert, but I know a good thing when I see it. And your friendship with Hutch...well, that`s a good thing. "
With his hung down a bit he said " I know Beth ? I know...."
" Okay then, you need to forgive him. " she said.
David pulled back from her and looked at her. He knew that she meant well, but she didn`t understand. How could she?
Quietly and sadly he said to her " No Beth. You see, it`s not me that has to forgive him, it`s him that has to forgive me. And I don`t know if he can. It`s too much this time."
Beth knew she had other things to do but before getting up from the bed, she looked into his eyes and said " Well ...if he really is the friend that you know him to be, then you should know that whatever you did, It couldn`t be nearly enough to destroy your friendship." Placing her hand on his heart, she said to him, " This David...You have to trust this...."
David reached for her hand and drew it up towards his face. He moved it slowly to his lips and gently kissed it.
That told Beth that he heard.

Just as Beth had gotten off the bed and started to head towards the door, The elevator doors had opened up. Hutch and Aurora exited and headed down the hall
towards Davids room.

This was going to be an interesting morning. Each man hurting yet each man thinking of the other before thinking of himself.

Chapter 24

As Aurora and Hutch slowly made their way down the hall towards Davids room , Aurora spoke, "Okay Hutch. You just sit tight right here and I`ll be back for ya soon." she said as she pointed to the waiting area.
Hutch sat down and looked up at her. His eyes spoke of his expectations and also his fears. " Aurora ? " he said.
Once again showing compassion, she extended her hand out to his and gave a gentle yet affirming squeeze. " Oh Hutch. " she said " I promise you. It`ll be alright. "
Aurora held onto his hand for just a bit and looking at him she saw something...something in Hutch`s eyes.....Hope. And just as if Hutch were trying pass some of that on to her, he squeezed her hand a bit harder. Then releasing her hand , he patted the top of it and told her almost in a whisper, "Just give that to him. Okay ?"
As she pulled back her hand she told him she would do what he asked. And turning back towards the hall, she headed on to Davids room.

Beth was now in the hallway. Aurora stopped Beth and asked her to keep an eye on Hutch.
"No problem Miss. Madison. David`s inside as usual. "
" Thank you Beth. " Aurora said

As Aurora entered Davids room , she was not surprised. David was laying in bed, looking out the window. As she drew closer to the bed, she could see that he was deep in thought.
" Well, well, well. Am I interupting something ? "
Looking quietly at her he said " Nope. "
Aurora placed her hands on her hips and said,
"David, don`t you know me better than that ? You can`t hide anything from me."
David just sighed and rolled his eyes.
<I wish she would just go away sometimes.> he thought.
Aurora says " Hey, you gonna sit there all morning and do nothin` or are ya gonna talk to me ? "
No answer.
"David ?" she says.
" I heard ya. " he snapped.
" So wh---" she tried to speak but found that she was being cut off.
'" Listen Aurora ! " he said pointing his finger at her. " Unless you can assure me that my best friend can forgive me for all of --- of--- this.....well -----then, I`m sorry, You wasted your time coming here today. " And with that he went back to looking out of the window.

Well , Aurora stepped back from his bed, and clear as a bell, could see what was going on. A smile was coming to her face. David saw this and said " What the hell is that all about ? "
Aurora came back from her new reality and walked closer to his bed. " David ? " she said, reaching for his hand, "I have something to give you. "
With the same care and gentleness that she gave to Hutch, she took Davids hand in hers and squeezed. Not too hard, but hard enough to be firm and re-assuring.

David didn`t know what to do at first. Then as she held his hand he began to relax.
Just as he would when Hutch touched him. His body was relaxed, and in one moment with one gesture, he knew he was comforted. He looked at her, his watery eyes gleaming like the sun. " Aurora ? Where is he ? Where is Hutch ?"

From across the room right in the doorway there was a voice. " Right here buddy...right here."

Aurora had let her hand slip from Davids, and while she was backing away, Hutch was moving closer.
Aurora couldn`t leave , just in case. She had to see that they were gonna be okay. But she stayed quiet in the back of the room, and she was careful not to disturb them.

They looked like buddies from war that had not seen each other in decades. They both looked at the other as if he was seeing a ghost. The "me and thee" team had finally come to a healing ground.

As Hutch approached Starskys bed, all he could think about was the fact that he betrayed his friend. He eyes started to tear. Now he was standing right at the side of his friends bed. " Oh god Starsk !" he said. "Please forgive me...Please forgive me buddy. I shoulda been there for ya. I shoulda been there. "
Starsky looked a little shocked....."Whoa... Hutch....what the hell are you talkin` about ?" he said.
Hutch just stood there. He had asked for his absolution. And was awaiting his penance.
" Hutch......you want MY forgiveness ?" Starsky said surprised.
Starsky continued. " No way Hutch....I`m..... I`m..."
Hutch looked at him with the same surprised expression...Just as he went to speak Starsky interupted him.
" God Hutch.! I`m the one that let you down. Don`t you see Hutch ? Right from the get go on this case. "

Now Aurora watched a little closer. David still had some serious ground to cover and she had to make sure that he wasn`t going to go over the edge.

"Come on Starsky ! I`m the one that turned you in to Dobey. I`m the one that got you suspended...."
"Hutch, I`m not mad about that."
Now Hutch lifted his head and watched his partner.
Starsky continued "....Oh ...I thought I was....But I know I`m not mad about that...You were just doin` what you thought was best for me buddy....for me....."
And Dave started to get quiet. And he finished his sentance with a whisper...." and I didn`t deserve it.........I didn`t....deserve it."
With that , Hutch came over and sat on the side of the bed. Knowing that his friend and partner didn`t like soapy scenes, he just told him " Hey Starsk.....Look at me pal."
Dave couldn`t.
Hutch continued softly, " Hey buddy ? We`ll get you through this. We`ll do it together. Me and Thee....remember ?"
Starsky knew how much more had to come out. He just felt like he didn`t deserve Hutch or his love.
Looking at Hutch , directly in his eyes, he said " I remember....and I know
you`re not gonna let me give it up, are ya? "
Hutch reached out around the back of Starskys neck and pulled his friend towards him so that their heads were touching at the top of the forehead . They stayed that way for a minute before Hutch said " Me and Thee Starsk. Me and Thee."

Aurora Madison was in the back of the room. Watching. Learning. There was definately a tear that escaped her eye. Many of them. She knew David`s struggle wasn`t over. He had some traumatic sessions left, but he`ll be okay. How very lucky they both are.
Moving over to the door slowly, Aurora exited the room feeling confident that their healing could continue.

Chapter 25

From outside the hospital room Aurora could hear some faint utterances. She had to keep her distance because stepping in at the wrong time could prove to be disasterous. She went down to the cafeteria for a moment and then headed once again back to Davids room. As she approached the desk she saw Beth smiling over towards her. "So Beth, How`s the Dynamic Duo doing ?" she asked.
Beth laughed a bit and said "They must be okay.......It`s been quiet for the entire fifteen minutes that you`ve been gone.."
Both women chuckled a bit. It was refreshing.
Then, Aurora looked at Beth , let out a relieving breath and said " Good ! That`s very good. "
Beth looked at Aurora and agreed. " Yes , I know what you mean. I too am glad David is talking to Ken. They need each other.....for both of their sakes ...I am
glad. "
Aurora understood Beths statement and shared her emotions. Maybe now, she thought to herself, David will open up even more.
Looking again at Beth, she thanked her for keeping a watchful eye on her patients and proceeded down the hallway towards Davids room.

Meanwhile , back in the room, Starsky was still trying to apologize to Hutch.
" Come on Hutch. " Starsky said with a tinge of weakness. " I know all about the me and thee thing.....I......"
Starsky was wavering a bit, but Hutch sensed he needed to be quiet.......giving his friend a chance to let go.
" Aw, don`cha get it ? Like I said before, I `m the one that let you down.........and not just you Hutch, everyone! The Fox family...... their babies..." Starsky choked....." Oh my God Hutch.....Darla and Denis......they were just babies Hutch!" Starsky has always had a soft spot for children. "Oh hell, " he said shakin his head, "Maybe Simon`s right........Maybe I do belong to hi..."
That was it, Hutch had to stop it here. Getting right down into Starskys face he said to him "No way pal, No way. Don`t even say it Starsk. "
He was interupted. Starsky`s demeanor had begun to change. In a self convincing way Starsky said, "No Hutch, Don`cha see ? He called me the Dark Warrior. I was supposed to be a gift to him. "
As Hutch looked at Starsky he could see his friends eyes had changed....they had become intense nightime blue orbs that swelled with confusion and self hatred.
"Damnit Hutch, When I give you a gift, it`s because I know you`ll get enjoyment out of it, right ?" But he wasn`t looking for an answer. He already knew it.
"You weren`t supposed to be a gift to him ! I was. That means there is something in me that he likes...desires ....Something that he thinks will make him stronger if he had it. " Starsky had now began to withdraw again. Hutch went to reach out to him. Starsky glanced over at him. His confusion and self hatred slowly being replaced by feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.

Those feelings surrounding him like the funnel of a tornado. Which comes in unannounced, and indiscriminate. And because of it`s brute force, it makes him a prisoner to it`s every whim. He is rendered defenseless therefore he is thrown into a bottomless pit of guilt......and ultimately succumbs to it`s demands.....and dies.

Marcos was succeeding. He was slowly sqeezing every bit of emotional strength from Starsky, and Hutch saw it.

Hutch was getting mad now. "Damnit Starsky! " he said. " You`re not a helpless kid and you`re not worthless. You are not a gift to be possessed, and as long as I`ve known you , you`ve never given up.
You don`t belong to Simon any more than I belong to Forrest ! And shit pal, If you failed everyone, then I might as well be right up there with you.

Silence.

Starsky looked up at his friend, who was now standing looking out of one of the windows. Hutch turned around and walked back over towards the bed. "Yeah. You heard me right . "he said quietly.
Starsky couldn`t believe it.
Hutch said "Whadya lookin` so surprised for Starsk?" He was sort of pacing while he was talking. " I`m not lettin` you go down alone because of this case! We go together pal.......IF....and I mean IF we go at all."
Starsky just looked over at Hutch and started to say "Well ... it`s just that..."
Hutch approached the bed again. Starsky couldn`t help turning away. He still carried feelings of worthlessness and shame.
"Come on Starsk." Hutch interupted. "It`s just that...... what ?...Don`t you get it ? We`re partners.....We rely each other. We count on each other for back-up. Starsky...You are right when you say you let me down....
"I know Hutch..." Starsky said nodding.
Hutch looked at his friend. However, he had something to say and he was going to say it. So looking over at Starsky, he tilted his head and with pointed finger and a raised brow he said " Ah ah ah....You don`t know my friend. Just stop and think Starsk. Let me finish..........You did let me down...... but I wouldn`t be much of a friend to you if I couldn`t find a way to forgive you......now would I ?"
Starsky leaned back in the bed and hung his head.
"We`ve been partners for what...5 maybe 6 years now, and we`re still here.....No way in hell am I gonna sit by and watch this.....murdering.....controlling..... scum take away my best friend.....who just happens to be a great cop too !"
As he finished his statement to David he just sat down right on the side of the bed.
But David`s mind was wandering a bit.
Davids mind was wandering, back to his time with Beth this morning. How she told him that he had to trust his heart. He could still feel her hand there ...on his heart.
"Come on Starsk" Hutch said in a much softer tone " I wanna help......Let me carry some of this burden for you."

Looking over towards Hutch, he knew what he had to do. He had to let go. And here was his partner sitting on the side of his bed, offering his help.

"I dunno Hutch. " he said hesitantly. " I dunno if I can. "
Hutch answered in a lighter tone "Oh you can alright. You just have to want to."And that`s what I`m here for. "

After a few nervous, anticipatory minutes there was a slight faint but definative reply from David. " Okay Hutch..... but......where do we start ? "

At that precise moment, Aurora Madison entered the room.

Chapter 26

Both men looked over to the door where Aurora was now standing and holding three coffees. Just for a moment, there was silence... but then Hutch spoke with a slightly humorous tone, while waving his hand over towards her. " Well Starsk. There`s the person who can answer that question. "
Aurora looked at them both with a wonderous gleam in her eyes. "And what question is it that has the dynamic duo momentarily speechless ? she asked, while bouncing her eyebrows up and down.
That lighthearted statement proved to be almost medicinal to Starsky and Hutch,
who turned and gave each other a smile. Hutch`s of course came a bit easier than Starsky`s. But still, there were signs of a smile, and both Hutch and Aurora were glad to see it.
Aurora moved into the room further as Hutch walked over to her to help her with the coffee. "Here. " he said. " Let me help you with that. "
" Thanks. " she said. And taking her coffee in her hand she turned again towards them and said " Well ? Any takers on my question ?"
As Hutch moved over towards Starsky to give him his coffee, Starsky just motioned for him to place it on the side table.
Because Hutch could sense that Starsky was still a bit sensative , he reached down and gently rubbed his friends forearm and quietly said to him " It`s alright Starsk, I`ll get this one for ya. "
Starsky gave an acknowledging nod.
Hutch looked up at Aurora and said, " Well Aurora, I want to help Starsk. And he agreed. But it seems he doesn`t know where to start. " After pausing a minute and getting a lighthearted shove from his friend Hutch said " Tell ya the truth, neither do I. We need some help. "
Well that seemed to be what Aurora was waiting for. A plea for help is always a good way to get started. And it almost always means that half the battle has been won, so to her this was great. And now her patient has a solid allie.
"Well , " she said " Believe it or not ...I think you`ve already started. "
Both men looked surprised at that statement.
" You don`t have to be so surprised you know. Let me explain. I think that you both needed to know that the other one was going to be there. Right ?"
Both men gave affirming nods. She continued. " Both of you were sure that the other would have no forgiveness for you. " The nodding continued. " And yet ....Both of you were willing to risk your friendship by placing your respective vulnerabilities and shortcomings on an alter of sorts for the other to judge."

Silence.

Aurora`s soft tone once again filled the air. " I think that`s as good a start as we`re gonna get fellas. " As she finished her statement, she had shrugged her shoulders and had her hands sort of cupped, palms up, in front of her. She continued, " Don`t you ? Hmmm ?" With that both detectives looked at each other , then to Aurora. Hutch taking the lead again said " Well Aurora , since you said it with such elegance........(waving his hand).......who are we to argue with
you ? "
Aurora looked at Hutch and David. And then David said (Quietly but loud enough for Hutch to hear) " Just great Hutch. Who are you supposed to be ...the king of England ?"
Hutch caught it, turned around and said "Why Starsky..... that didn`t come out of you....did it ? "
Then Hutch turned and faced his partner and said "Nice to see ya smilin` again pal. I`ll come by tonight ? "
Starsky looked at Hutch and thought (what a ditz. No wonder why I love this guy.)
" That`ll be nice, I leave this place in a couple of days. I`ll need some help. kay ?"
Hutch had a smile on him that was brighter than the colors in the brightest rainbow. His request for absolution was granted in his friends request for help.
( Thank you my friend...Thank You. ) he thought to himself. He looked at Starsky and said " You got it . We`ll talk about it later. "
And Starsky just thought to himself ( I am so lucky. After everything I`ve done to him........He never lets me go. Even if I pushed him away....he`ld come back. Man Hutch....If you only knew .....)
As Hutch readied himself to leave, Aurora needed to speak with the both of them so that they understood what course she was going to take in their sessions.
" Hey Hutch ? Before you leave, I wanted to talk to you and David about the sessions. "
Both Starsky and Hutch told her that however she wanted to do it, would be alright with them.
She told them that for now, her seeing David alone was good. Starsky was relieved to hear that. " Besides , you two will probably talk about the sessions
now that you`ve mended. And that`s okay as long as the topic of your conversations are mutually agreed upon. you got it." she said flashing her finger towards them. " We are heading in the right direction, and I
don`t want to get lost. "
" No problem Aurora. " Hutch said. He knew that she was serious.
" David ? Can you handle that ? "
David was sort of lost in a thought, "Huh ? Oh .....yeah....sure Aurora. Ah...Listen Blondie, visiting hours are..."
Hutch interupted " I know mom, from 6pm to 8 pm. And I won`t forget !"
" Forget what ?" Starsky asked.
Hutch looked at Starsky with a big grin and said " The strawberry milkshake. "
Starsky looked at Hutch as Hutch was holding the door, ready to leave, " Thanks Blondie "
Before Hutch exited the room, He passed by Aurora and took hold of her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. That was all the thanks Aurora needed.

However, Once Hutch was gone and the door closed, It was back to business.
David was now sitting off the edge of his bed. He held his coffee in his hand, and he was quiet. He could hear Aurora`s footsteps approaching the bed.
" Boy oh boy ...it`s gotten pretty quiet in here. " Aurora said. " d`ya wanna tell me what that was all about ? "
" What ? " Starsky said.
"Ya`know, you should have been an actor. That thing about the visiting hours...
Who d`ya think you`re foolin` with David ? I`m no rank amatuer. " she said.
(Damn she`s good. ) he thought. " Okay, Okay, you got me. I dunno what I was thinkin`. " David said.
" So David , you gonna tell me about whatever it was that had you in such deep thought ? " she asked .
" Oh nothin` really. ( Liar ) Just more memories. But nothing bad ...really. ( Liar )
" Come on David. You gotta let it go. You can`t hang on to it. " she said.
David placed his coffee down on the table and sat back up in the bed. " Awww. Aurora. That`s easy for you to say. Their not your memories. " he said.
Aurora said " And you know what? They don`t have to be yours either David. All you have to do is trust yourself. "
Dave looked right up at her ...almost angrily and spoke with a slightly sarcastic laugh. " You are speaking of trust ? When I find that again.....then I might be able to let go. "
Auroras heart was breaking. She knew how close he was to being free of the silent chains that kept him bound. " So.......Just what are these other memories that are coming into focus ?" she asked him. "Anything different ? "
David looked up at her with that ....{ I don`t believe her } look in his eyes, and said "Man, you aren`t gonna give up are ya? "
Aurora thought for a moment, shook her head and gave him a very direct answer.

" No David, I`m not. "

Chapter 27

Hutch was so busy thinking about how he would help his friend re-adjust to living outside the protection of the hospital that he almost walked right past Captain Dobey and Huggy.
"Hey Hey my man.....what`s got you so deep in thought that you would walk right past your "other" amigos ? " Huggy said as he saw Hutch start to pass them.
Coming out of his introspective state Hutch looked up and displayed a smile of calm relief. Reaching out to greet them , he said " Huggy ! Captain! It`s great to see ya. He`s in with Aurora at the moment. " Huggy said " So what`s new with our afflicted brother ? " Hutch looked at the two men, who looked just as concerned as he did, and said " He`s okay.....He`s gonna be okay. "
" Hey , Hey Hutch, That`s great my man....That means Captain , that the
dynamic duo will soon be back, patrolling the streets of this fair city. "
Captain Dobey just looked over at Huggy, "Alright Huggy,....."
Huggy cut off Dobey right before he could finish his thought " Ah...ah .....ah Captain !" he said closing his eyes and clutching his heart " You cut me to the quick......."
Hutch cut them both off, "Come on guys, He means alot to all of us. We`re all happy to hear this news. He`s not out of the woods yet though. Aurora`s got her work cut out for her. Starsk doesn`t crack easily. And she feels that he`s still hiding stuff. I am just glad that our friendship is back. He wants me to come by tonight, He`s outta here in two days and he`s gonna need some help. Why don`t we ride downtown and I`ll fill you in. "
So Hutch, Dobey and Huggy walked over to the elevator. Aurora was still in with David. As the elevator doors opened, the three men stepped in. All three breathing a little easier. The knowledge of their friends continuing progress watered their ability to get on with their lives.
And as the elevator doors closed their fears were left behind, and they were replaced with hope and assurance of complete recovery for their friend.

"So David ? This can be easy or hard for you......It`s your decision. " Aurora said. " I Know what I have to do Aurora. I really do. I can`t just spurt out the things that happened and expect to be able to be completely healed ! Don`t you see ?"
David said.
" I do. However....." That`s all Aurora could get in.
" You do ? " he said getting a bit angry he continued..." You know what it is like to be the first one to scan a crime scene ? You know what it is like to be the first person to see living hell on earth ? Huh ? You know what it`s like Aurora ? How about being probably the first damn cop in history, to see faces in the blood of the victims ? How about......"
Aurora cut him off even though she had been mesmorized by his spoken memories. " Hold on David . Okay ? What`s this about faces in the blood ? Tell me more about that. "
David sat on the bed looking a bit subdued. Quietly he said "I was going to go upstairs and I placed my left hand on the banister........I had to lift my hand.....You know why ? Cuz I was covering someones face. "
Aurora looked a bit puzzled....." I need to ask you something. Was this literal or suggested David ? "
" I know now that it was suggested....by my brain. But then, I thought it was literal. I thought if I had rubbed the blood off of my hand,another person would have been lost. You know , when we initially investigated this HELL....there were only 7 bodies. The babies were missing. " He said in a somber tone. " I think I was hoping to see that they were hidden somewhere...... but ...they were`nt. So the nameless faces I was seeing.....they became my survival strategy. It`s what kept me sane.....able to see this one to the finish. And I wasn`t giving up until that murdering scum was caught. "
Aurora looked a bit relieved to see that David could seperate the real and the suggested elements to this part of his suffering. That was a wonderful sign.
She sat back and looked at him. " So what else happened ? " she asked him. David was kind of lost in his thought. " David ? " She asked him. He looked over at her and spoke even softer. " Aurora ?" he asked.
" Yes David . " she replied. " Do you know I let them down ? " he said.
" Who David ? Who did you let down ? "
" The Fox Family.....and the twins....and......" He couldn`t get the last part out...It was too painful.
Aurora looked sad. " Why are you taking full responsibility for this family ? "
" I don`t know why ! " he said. " You`re the damn psychologist.
Tell me why I am. "
" I can`t do that David and you know that. You have to come to that on your own."
David sighed and sank back into the bed. " Yeah yeah...on my own..... "
David had known why he was taking responsibility for the Fox family,
but to speak it would mean that he would have to face the ugliest demon of all....
self-hatred.
Aurora got up to leave and grabbed her coffee. Going up to David she spoke " Listen , you`re doing just fine . I want you to relax and rest. You need that more than anything. Are they giving you something to help you sleep? "
He looked at her " Yeah. Some kind of pill. It can`t stop the dreams though. "
he said.
"I know. But they will end soon. You should keep something next to your bed , and then this way, if you wake up you can write them down. "
"Yeah, okay. Whatever you say. " he said.
Aurora moved over to the door. Looking back at David she could feel his hurt and frustrations. But she knew there was something crucial that was still hidden.

CHAPTER 28

" Oh Hutch man, thank God it`s you. I`ve been waiting all day. Didn`t think you were gonna show up. Let me give you the list of things I need for tomorrow. "

Hutch just stood in the doorway of the room. His face was covered by the shadows. " Hey buddy ? " he said...."Why ?"
Starsky looked confused......" Why what ? What is it Hutch ? "
Hutch took only a few steps into the room. " Why didn`t you tell me ? "
That did it Starsky was really confused. " C`mon Hutch, Let`s just get this list thing out of the way first. Okay ?"
" No....that`s not possible buddy. Why didn`t you tell me about `nam....? Huh ?.....
Does the name Tran mean anything to you...? "
Starsky sat bolt upright in the bed and looked over at Hutch. His friends countanence changed and there in front of him was Tran......the 2 year old vietnamese boy that was killed by a bullet from HIS gun. Tran was crying........his innocence that was lost spoke to Starsky......and it hurt.
Starsky tried to speak but his voice was held captive by his guilt. Tran looked at him....as if he was trying to see through him.
"I......I....didn`......I......I.....I`m.....sor...ry...." David said.
Tran moved closer to David. As he did he began to speak........But it was different....his tone was not that of a child but one of a man......David tried to see but he couldn`t. When out of the darkness in his room the voice spoke. " You didn`t mean to ? You`re sorry ? ........Well........I always knew you had it in you...."
then an evil laugh........" Baby killer.... " was whispered. In one ear and then in the other one.... Babykiller..." That`s why I want you....don`t you see ? " And there leering over him across the bed was Simon....grinning from ear to ear......." I must have you David......I need your strength.....I need your darkness to unify with mine......."
And slowly Simon placed his hands on Davids chest. He moved them very slowly up to his neck and then began to wrap his hands around Davids neck, and squeeze. With the strength of a Boa Constrictor Simon squeezed the life out of David. Savoring each and every moment of Davids impending death was an important part of this kill. David `s breath was slowly slipping from him. he was gasping, but not fighting back. At the zenith, Simon bent down and placed his mouth over Davids....the sound of a rushing wind started to stir as he began to take Davids essence away..........

With the elevator doors open, Hutch exited and headed over towards Starskys room. There`s a bit of a bounce in his step now and a smile on his face. His friend is coming home in a couple of days. Things are getting better. As he approached the room he carefully placed the huge strawberry milkshake in his left hand so he could open the door with his right hand. But something didn`t sound right. As he drew near to the door, he heard sounds of struggling coming from with-in. Panicking , he dropped the milkshake and rushed to the door .
" Starsky ! Starsky ! " Hutch yelled....as he entered the room. " Nurse ! " he called out.
{This can`t be happening } he thought.
He ran to his friends bedside and began to shake him. " Starsky ! Come on man..." His friend was covered in sweat, and shaking uncontrollably. He was crying but there were no audible sounds coming from him. Only the gasps that accompany a horrible nightmare. The IV had been forciblly taken out . The sheets were soaked from his sweat, and messed up from his violent movements during this nightmare. Suddenly the nurse came in. She ran over to where Hutch was and told him to calm down. " Stay with him for a minute, I`ll get Dr. Franklin. "
" Okay. " Hutch said. " Come on Starsky. " he said. Hutch was sitting on the bed right by David holding him. Davids fight was losing strength. He was coming out of his nightmare. Hutch held him tightly. Leaning over to the bedside table , he grabbed the cloth that was there and began rubbing his friends brow. " That a boy Starsk. It`s me Hutch. It`ll be okay. " he said. With that Dr. Franklin and Beth came into the room. Hutch just looked at them " I guess he must have had a nightmare. " he said.
"Yes it does look that way. " Dr. Franklin said.
Starsky , who was now able to open his eyes, turned and saw Hutch and started to scream. He tried to push Hutch away. Hutch wouldn`t leave. " Come on Starsky, It`s me. "
" No! You can`t have me Simon. "he said . Hutch grabbed Starsky`s hands and placed them on his face. " Starsk ? What do you feel ? " he said. Starsky looked, "Get the hell away from me. " he said. Hutch looked at his friend and asked again "What do you feel damnit ?" Starsky didn`t know what to think. He sat and stared into his friends eyes. Hutch saw his confusion and spoke softly to him.
"Hey..... Whatever you were dreaming about , it`s over Starsk............It was just a dream. "
Beth interupted the men and said " David, we have to reconnect the IV now. "
David was not happy about it but he had no choice. Hutch lowered his friend back down onto the pillow. David looked terrified. Hutch spoke again. " C`mon now, let the lady do her job. I`ll be right here. "
Once Starsky was back down on the pillow Dr. Franklin and Beth were able to jump in and get things back on track. In a few minutes a new IV was inserted and taped, and his vitals were checked. " There you go David. " Beth said as she smiled and gently patted his arm." I`ll be back in a few to check on you. "
David gave a half-hearted smile back to her.
Dr. Franklin ordered a sedative to be given to him. Beth agreed.
Hutch was sitting close by Starsky. Just looking at him. Staring was more like it. Right into the indigo pools that ...he knew held the clues to his friends nightmares.
He thought to himself { what is it buddy ? what is it that has you bound ?}
Beth turned back and looked over at him on her way towards the door and said " you know, I`m only a call button away, right ? "
" Yeah. " he said. " Promise to use it ? " Beth asked him. " I promise. " he said. And with that, the door had closed and only the two men were left in the room.
Starsky spoke first " Hutch ? " he said
" Right here buddy. " Hutch said.
" That dream?.....it was so real.....I felt him .....right here in this room. " Starsky said quietly.
Hutch looked at his friend and asked " Who ? "
" Marcos." came the quiet reply.
" Why ? "
" Why ? ....I dunno. All I know is he was here. and he told me he wanted my strength....my darkness..... to unite with his....... I was defenselessHutch. I was screamin` but I couldn`t hear anything. "
" Well....You should have seen yourself. I thought you were dyin`." Hutch said.
Starsky sat up in the bed and told him " It felt like I was Hutch. I wish I had."
Looking puzzled Hutch asked " You wish you had what ? Pal. "
Starsky just looked at him.....
" Died ! " Hutch said...." Starsky...We`ve been through this damnit. "
"I know ! I know ! " Starsky said. " But I couldn`t help it Hutch....When you asked me about na......."
Hutch interupted him....."Hold on Starsk....... I was in this dream too ? What did I say ? What did I ask you about ?"
" Forget it Hutch. " Starsky said shaking his head.
" Forget it ? " Hutch asked. " I don`t think so. Did I say something to upset you ?
you know.....in the dream ? "
Starskys dark pupils appeared to get larger as if he was afraid of something.
" Starsky ? " Hutch asked.
In an exhausting tone Starsky said ' C`mon Hutch....What`s the difference Huh? You said yourself it`s just a dream. Can`t we let it be tonight ? Maybe Aurora can shed some light on it in the morning. "
Hutch wanted answers, but he could see that it was going to be almost impossible to get them. So, as if surrendering to an opposing general, He told Starsky that he`ld wait till the morning. But he wasn`t going to leave either.
Starsky didn`t object .
Before long Hutch was asleep. But Starsky, he couldn`t sleep. He couldn`t sleep because he lied.
He knew all too well what Hutch had asked him about in the dream. But he couldn`t EVER tell him. He wouldn`t understand. He couldn`t understand. And he knew that Hutch would never forgive him for what he did. That`s why this case was personal to Starsky. As was any of the cases that involved children. Ever since he killed Tran, he felt as though he owed it to himself to help as many children as possible. He had to make recompense for killing Tran. But he knew the time for confession was coming. And he hoped that Aurora would be ready.

Chapter 29

The rest of the night was uneventful and for the most part Starsky and Hutch enjoyed a peaceful nights sleep. With the exception of Beths occasional visits to do vital checks, there were no other disturbances. At 9:00am The elevator doors opened up and Aurora Madison walked out as she had for the last couple of weeks. As she approached the nurses station, she noticed that Beth was motioning for her to wait a minute.
She gave a wave to Beth acknowledging that she would wait and sat down in the waiting room. Beth came over to her and said " Good Morning Miss. Madison. "
Aurora replied " Good Morning Beth. How`s our patient this morning ? "
" Well.....That is why I flagged you down. "
" Oh ? " said Aurora quizzically. " Nothing serious I hope. "
" No. " Beth replied. " But I just thought you should know that he had a particularly violent nightmare last night. "
" Oh ? How bad ? "
" Bad enough...He pulled the IV out, sweat pretty bad, and messed up the linens. I think it`s the worst one he`s had yet . Thank God for Ken. If he hadn`t gotten there when he had........well, "
Aurora interupted....." Ken ? Is he still here ? "
" Yes. He slept here last night. " Beth said.
Aurora asked " Is he still in the room ? "
" Yes but neither one is up. They had a rough time of it. I was in there early this morning to get Davids vitals..... "
" Aurora ? " Beth continued.
" Yes Beth ? "
" Well..." she hesitated, " I`m a little worried. The nightmares that he`s having seem to be increasing in intensity. "
" I`m sure they are. Actually, that`s a good thi........ " answered Aurora.
Beth interupted her because she could see that Ken had exited Starskys room.
Pointing towards him she told Aurora " Ah.... There is Ken now. "
Aurora turned around and saw him. " Please excuse me. " she said to Beth.
Beth understood and went back over to the nurses station.
Aurora got up and went down the hall to Hutch.
Quietly she said " Good morning Ken. "
Hutch was up but he was pre-occupied.
" Ken ? " she asked again.
Hutch looked at her and said " Aurora....I`m sorry... good morning. "
" I heard you two had a rough time last night. "
Hutch said " Yeah we did. I wish there was something I could do
for him...ya know ? "
" Yes. I do. " she said. taking hold of his arm she told him softly
" I hope you realize though that just being there is enough for now. "
Hutch looked puzzled. " Is it Aurora ? I wanna get into his head and free him from these violent dreams he`s having . "
Aurora looked at Hutch and said " I know you do. But You can`t do that. "
Hutch told her he knew he couldn`t . He was venting his frustration and she knew it.
Aurora had a feeling that whatever it was that David was trying to hide, wouldn`t be hidden for long. But she couldn`t tell Hutch. Some things were better left unsaid. So she re-iterated her statement to Hutch about this possibly being a long process and re-assured him that his presence there with David was more than enough for now.

Just as Aurora was re-assuring Hutch, Beth came down the hall and told her that David had just gotten up. Hutch`s head quickly lifted up and before he stood up Aurora was already up . With her arm outstretched towards him she said " Not this time...I want you to go home Ke..."
He interupted her "All I wanna do is say goodbye. " he insisted.
" Ken. " she said "You look tired. Please ....go home ...take a shower....take a rest....anything ...then you can come back....Let me talk to him now ...Okay ? "
He knew she was right.
Beth reached over towards Hutch and said " C`mon Hutch.....You`ll be better off...later ? Huh? " she asked smiling.
Gently tugging on Hutchs arm Beth led him to the elevator. He turned around to Aurora and gave her a weak smile. But he knew he was coming right back.

Aurora gave a slight wave and headed off in the direction of Davids room.
Upon entry , she saw that he was not in his bed. That`s when she heard it. He was in the bathroom, wretching. It sounded horrible. Like everything was coming up. As it would calm she could hear the faint sounds of sobbing that was trying to be covered up. Then it would start up again. The wretching. The difference between the two was that of high tide and low tide. It continued for a few minutes. Then she heard the sound of running water.
Softly she called out " David ? "
Again " David .... Are you alright ? "
The door opened and the sickly looking man said weakly " No. "
Aurora stepped forward to help him and said " Come on David, Let`s get you back to bed. "
He held her arm firmly.
Once back in the bed Aurora stood back and looked once again at her patient. David looked sick alright but he also looked possessed.
Trying to lighten the mood David began to speak saying " Haven`cha eva seen a possessed man before ? ........"
" That`s not funny David. " Aurora shot back.
Now Aurora had to be careful. If she played along with him, she could help to re-enforce his crushing dreams, but if she pushed to hard she could help bury his dreams deeper within him and create new ones.
The mind is a powerful thing. Under duress it can create untrue realities to subdue the truth. That is what was beginning to happen to David.
David was looking at Aurora ....wondering why she said what she did.
Aurora sensed this and quickly said " I`m sorry David. I don`t know wha....."
David said quietly " I do. Did you speak to Hutch this morning ?"
" Why ....." Yes I did. " she answered.
" Oh....then you know.....`bout the dream ? "
She looked and said " Yes. I know you had a bad one. If you wanna talk about it....we can. "
Davids stomach was knotting up again.
Did he dare tell her ?......He had to.......Could he tell her ? He had no choice.

Dedication

These are the last few chapters of my story. I have to make a special dedication to one very specific person. Maria Priest. You surely have been the driving force behind my completeing this. When I first started wriuting, I didn`t think I could write anything. You insisted that I send you my 1st story Heaven Can Wait. I was nervous but I did. Your words of encouragement then, has helped me now, to do something that I never thought possible. This War is Over has been a WIP for almost 2 years. It is with great pleasure that I bring you the finished product. The intense subject matter sometimes led me to some major stumbling blocks. Real Life stifled my muse. .and without your Immersion I don`t think I could have finished it. I know we havent spoken for quite sometime but I feel your words of strength everyday. You once told me that as an author, I was the one who ultimately had to be satisfied with the outcome. You were right. You told me that my muse would return....you were right. Truly , if everyone in the world could have only one friend, I would want it to be you. From almost 1500 miles apart, we created a story line that brought full circle, " Bloodbath " , one of Starsky and Hutch`s greatest episodes. I will never forget you my " Karmic Sis "

LAM

Chapter 30

Waiting patiently for a few minutes, Aurora finally broke the silence that had shrouded the room. " Well David ? What`s stopping you ? "
When he turned towards her, she could see that his eyes had begun to water.
Everything about him was a bit different now.
Softly he spoke to her..." I`m scared Aurora....."
Aurora knew that dreams were powerful. " David..." she said " I won`t tell you that you shouldn`t be scared...however, I will tell you that I am here. If you want to stop...then we`ll stop. But I think you are probably as ready as you`ll ever be. It`s time to let go . "
" Where`s Hutch ? " he asked nervously.
" Beth and I sent him home to get in a shower and sleep a while. " she said
Relaxing a bit he asked " You sure he went ? "
" David..." Aurora said...." He is gone. "
Looking over at him , she could sense his reluctance to talk . " So ? " she asked.
David sat up a little in the bed. Looking straight into her eyes he told her.....Aurora, what I have to say....this could break Hutch and my friendship. You understand ? These dreams....memories.... one in particular.......
.....they are of things present and of things past. "
Being intensely serious he told her " You must NEVER tell him....."
Aurora shook her head and told him..." I understand David. I can`t anyway...Dr. ...patient priviledge. But let`s get back to you. Can you tell me about the "one memory " in particular ?? "
Davids stomach was in a knot. " Bear with me......` kay ? " he asked.
Aurora gave a re-affirming nod.
Gathering his breath, he began to tell her.
" What do you know about my time in Vietnam ? "
She shook her head..." Not anything David....Those records are sealed. I can`t get them. "
" Okay....Then what do you know about the special forces ? " he asked her. "
" David war and stratedgy are not my specialty ...why do you ask these
questions ?"
" Please Aurora....I asked you to bear with me...." he said.
Continuing he told her " Well , I was there for 18 months. "
Aurora took a breath in and verrry slowly let it out.
" Yeah....that`s how I feel about it sometimes. " he said.
" I was part of what the government called it`s Killing Machine .
Special Forces. It was our job to go in before the rest of the troops and .......
.......secure the area.......... In other words....." he stopped momentarily. With glistening eyes he continued "In other words we were the best....marksmen.......Oh hell....we were the best Kil....le...rs..."
" Yep....Uncle Sam.... trained us and paid us well all right........"
Aurora didn`t quite know what to say...." David ? Are you okay to continue ? "
"No not really....But it has to get done right ? "
She could see that he was wanting to get rid of these dreams. And she was glad.
"Anyway...like I was saying....Uncle Sam trained us Aurora. And they did a damn good job..... except for one thing.....They ......"
Aurora could see that Davids face was changing. His countenance had become a window into his soul. She could look at his eyes and see the pain that had been put down for all of these years. Pain like this is not readily tangible. She was walking on eggshells now. Everything she said to him had the potential to ressurect incurable memories.
" David ? " she asked gently. " What is it ? "
He was fighting once again an internal war. A war that for years never had an ending. a war that for him, could never end.
"Huh ? " he said. "
She spoke again " You were saying that they trained you well, except that......They.... They what ? "
David was hurting and even though he was awake...he was in the midst of the dream that had haunted him ever since the fateful day during his tour.
David looked at her, pointed his finger at her, and asked her again....." Aurora, Please give me your word...that you won`t ever tell Hutch or anyone.....The only one who knows is my ma. I need to know. "
Aurora re-assured him that whatever he said to her would be locked up in the secret places of her brain, she put down her pen and pad.
He was on the verge of a sobbing cry but his stomach was preventing his needed release. Like waves on the seashore, his insides rocked.
Aurora moved in closer to him. Reaching out for his hand , she said " Come on David...You can do this . "
David pushed away her hand. He told her that he knew he could but that he would have to do it on his own. " I`ll never be truly free if someone has to hold my hand...you understand ? "
" Okay . " she said.
" Okay ... Here goes....." he said
" They trained us well Aurora.....but they forgot one thing....They forgot to tell us
that war is not like it is in the movies ! " It was at this point that David brought his fists down on the hospital tray. " They fucking forgot to tell us about the harsh reality of war. Did you know that the average age of the soldiers in Vietnam was 18 ? No-one did. " How do you come home and tell your ma that while you were over there you killed a 2 year old kid ? Huh ? "
Aurora was speechless. At last she thought.
David was still on the bed. His head hung low in his arms that were now crossed on the hospital tray table. There was no mistaking his sobs.
Lifting his head he looked over towards her and said " Here. Let me tell you
why I took this case personally. Let me tell you why finding Darla and Denis and their murderer became my personal mission. Let me tell you why I blame myself this. Let me tell you about what it is that I have ....that Marcos so desires.

One night , in `nam....I was on gaurd duty. It was a break of sorts because we had been in the bush for a while. Anyway..... we had secured this
village a week earlier. Me and some of the guys tried to teach them our baseball.
They couldn`t understand it and it was okay. We all laughed. The guys even poked fun at me because I made friends with some of the kids. Papa Dave they used to call me. Anyway here I was...standing gaurd duty. One of the guys had his radio on low but I could hear CCR playing "Have You Ever Seen the Rain".
Out of my peripheral , I see this hootch maid and her kid......a son.....Tran....I called him .....Tran...." I laughed because I used to play silly games with him. Only he didn`t look right. Where`s his mom ? I thought.
So I looked around a bit. I found her standing behind him . She had a match and lit it. What was she gonna do with that match.....

He stopped.

A second look at Tran gave me the answer. He was looking at me ....smiling.....
But he was wearing something odd. There was a wire that protruded out from the pack on his back. His mother lit it and I realized that he had an explosive pack on him. I watched her push the boy over to where the guys were sleeping. I had seconds Aurora... Seconds... He was so small....I screamed Nooooooo ! and lifted my M-16 and shot.......

SOMEONE TOLD ME LONG AGO
THERE`S A CALM BEFORE THE STORM
I KNOW...IT`S BEEN COMIN FOR SOME TIME
WHEN IT`S OVER , SO THEY SAY,
IT`LL RAIN A SUNNY DAY
I KNOW SHININ` DOWN LIKE WATER

I WANNA KNOW HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN
I WANNA KNOW HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN
COMIN DOWN ON A SUNNY DAY

YESTERDAY AND DAYS BEFORE
SUN IS COLD AND RAIN IS HARD
I KNOW BEEN THAT WAY FOR ALL MY TIME

TIL FOREVER ON IT GOES
THROUGH THE CIRCLE FAST AND SLOW
I KNOW IT CAN`T STOP I WONDER

I WANNA KNOW HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN
I WANNA KNOW HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN
COMIN DOWN ON A SUNNY DAY

YEAH !!!

I WANNA KNOW HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN
I WANNA KNOW HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN
COMIN DOWN ON A SUNNY DAY

I watched that little boy ...Aurora....I watched him fly through the air from the force of " MY " bullets ! I saw the explosion that lit up the sky when the pack on his back exploded seconds later. I turned my weapon left and right and found his mother, that VC C--- ! She was running away ....I took the only shot I had. Landed a bullet in her back. I watched her body fall. I watched it as it hit the ground. That Bitch deserved it. What kind of mother was she ?
The guys were up and outside the building surrounding me like I was some kind of hero. Thanking me ? For saving their lives!
Later that night, as I sat and damn near put myself into an alchoholic coma, I was forced to listen to my first sergeant tell me....sixteen alive because of what you did Davey.... I almost believed him. I almost bit into the American hero crap....
I almost bit into it......" he said as he lowered his head and started to cry.

David was exhausted.......He was hurt. Aurora was silenced. She was happy though because she knew that he had gotten the worst part of it out.
Suddenly without warning a cup was thrown across the room...
" I killed a 2 year old kid....!!! " David was yelling. Although startled, Aurora got up and went over to him. " David ! she yelled. Come on now.......She was trying to subdue him. He said it again. She knew that he was a bit too much for her to handle so she grabbed hold of the nurses call button.
With saddness and despondency, he looked at her, still fighting. " You don`t get it do you ? ..........Leave me alone........." Tears ran from his eyes. " Please leave me alone. ........he was only two years old.........can you see that ? ......." he said looking into her eyes. " Do you want to see that ?......... what do you think of this.....mess now...? and me ? What do you think of me...? Huh Aurora ?.....I killed a baby

When Beth came in , Aurora told her to go and get Dr. Franklin. Beth didn`t ask any questions, she went and got him and returned. Dr. Franklin brought the sedative and while Aurora and Beth had hold of Davids arms, the good Dr. administered the sedative. Within a few minutes he was calm.
Dr. Franklin made a note of it on David`s chart and told both women that he wanted to know,right away, if there was any change in David . Both women nodded in unison. After feeling confident that he got his messege across, Dr. Franklin turned and left. Beth looked over at Aurora and told her that if she needed anything else to call her. Aurora looked at Beth and thanked her. Beth could sense Aurora`s relief. Beth said a quiet " Okay. I`ll be back to look in on you two. Upon Beths exit, Aurora sat back down in the chair and watched David.
He looked over to her with saddness in his eyes. "I know" ...he said... " You don`t have to say it. I`ve let you down.....right ? "
Aurora just looked at him. A slight smile crossed her face.
" What are you smiling about ? " he asked her. " after what I`ve just told you . You should hate me. "
Aurora smiled and told him " David....I am happy for you. "
" Huh ? " he asked
' This is what you had to get out. " she said "
" But don`t you get it ? I killed a child....That`s what Simon meant when he told me in the dream about my darkness being his strength. "
' I understand that David. " she said.
" Yeah ? Well , what about the other things ? ' he added. " If I had all of this so-called strength.....then why....." he hesitated.....why...couldn`t I save Gail ? "
" You weren`t supposed to. " she said.
" But I should have.....Aurora....I shoulda saved her.......You didn`t see her face.....you did`nt hear her torturous cries. "
" You didn`t see the life being taken from her. Those creeps. "
As Aurora went to speak again, he cut her off ...
------ and the babies......Oh God ......Why couldn`t they have been spared....."
He was crying...tears now filled his hands. " Those crazy bastards completely abused them. Do you know that the kids were sexually assaulted too ? In fact...they took most of it. " Breaking down he said " It`s not right ? "
When we arrested him, I`m telling you Aurora, I coulda killed him in cold blood with no remorse. And I mean it. " " Thank God for Hutch. " He said it again " Thank God for Hutch. "
The sedative was beginning to set in. David had completely used up all of his resources. But yet looking at him , you could see tears still falling down his face.
Aurora stayed right next to him until she knew that he was sleeping soundly. She got up quietly and just looked at him....Moving over toi the door , she
exited his room. She found solace from within the corridors of the hospital. She knew she couldn`t leave. So she told Beth that she was going to take a nap in the waiting room. " Oh and please let me know when Ken arrives, I have to speak to him. And let me know if David wakes up ? Okay ? "
Beth gave Aurora a re-assuring nod and sent her to the waiting room.

It was about an hour after she fell asleep when the elevator doors opened up and Ken Hutchinson appeared. Clean and shaven, yet still a bit tired. Beth approached him and told him that Aurora wanted to know when he arrived. She led him over to the waiting room where they found Aurora sleeping. Hutch turned to Beth and thanked her. As Beth left, Hutch entered the waiting room. Aurora looked almost angelic sleeping there on the couch. He walked over to her and lightly touched her arm. Aurora woke quietly. " Ken ? " she said.
Quietly he said " Beth told me you wanted to know when I got here. How`s Starsky ? "
Sitting up she looked at him and said " Oh he is doing well. We have made more progress. ....."
Hutch sat next to her and said with subdued elation. " Oh. That`s great. What did he say ? "
Aurora told him that it was pretty horrific, but she felt that it was the core of his problem.
" Ken ? Sometimes there are memories......ones that we bury forever in our sub-conscience. They sometimes can be the most brutal of all. We do this because they are too traumatic for us to deal with at the time. What we don`t realize is that at any given time or place they can be brought up to the surface to reak havoc with us. "
Hutch asked " Well, is this what you think happened with Starsk ? "
She said " It`s not really a matter of thinking.......I know it`s what happened. "
Hutch needed re-assurance....." Are these memories .....well......can he survive them ? "
Aurora told Hutch " Ken....Don`t second guess your partner. He is the product of his past.....He is a survivor. He`ll make it. "
Hutch asked her " And these memories.....will they go away ? "
Aurora answered and said " As for going away....well, no. I don`t believe they will. But I do believe that with proper therapy, David can learn to put these memories in places that are safe. Understanding a particularly horrific memory or memories is the key to toning them down. "
" So they`ll never really go away right ? "
" No they won`t. " she replied.
As Hutch was asking Aurora another question, Beth was coming towards the waiting room. Aurora saw this and rose from the couch.....Placing her hand on Hutch`s shoulder, she softly said " Excuse me a minute `kay ? "
Hutch just looked at her nodded yes.
As Aurora got close to Beth she heard Beth say that David woke up and was asking for her.
" Okay Beth....Thank you very much. Tell him I`ll be right in.

" Aurora ? " Hutch asked....." Is everything all right ? "
Aurora made her way back to the table in the waiting room and gathered up her writing pad and pen. Turning around , she found herself looking right into Hutch`s baby blue eyes.
"Aurora ? Did you hear me ? "
" I did Ken. Yes everything is all right . "
" Can I see him ? I`ve got some things for him. "
" Ken ? Can I ask you to come back later this evening ? I need to have this time with him. "
Hutch looked a bit frustrated, but he understood. Reluctantly, he agreed to Aurora`s request.
" Okay Aurora, but I`m comin back this evening. I`ll be here at 5 pm. "
Hutch was intentionally assertive when he spoke to Aurora. He had to be.
Aurora looked at him and thanked him. Just as she turned around, He took a look at the bag he was holding. He asked her " Aurora ? Just one more thing. "
" Sure Ken, What is it ? "
" This bag here, Can you take it in to him ? "
As she was giving him affirming nods he was speaking " It`s just some clothes from his apartment. "
He handed her the bag and she told him not to worry.
With that, Ken Hutchinson made his way back towards the elevator, which he just exited. Last thing Aurora saw was the wave that came from Kens hand.
Turning again towards Davids room, Aurora headed down the hallway. Beth saw her coming and gave her a confident smile.

Aurora got to his room and slowly opened the door.
David was sitting up in bed. Looking a bit more confident.
" Hi. Beautiful . " he said
" Hello David. "
" What`s that you got there ? You got me a present ! "
Aurora came closer to the bedside and giving the bag to him said " No ! This one is from Hutch. "
" You saw Hutch ? " he asked nervously. " You didn`t say anything did you ? "
" David ! " Aurora said....." I didn`t say anything to him....I told you I wouldn`t. "
" So what happened...where is he ? "
" Take it easy. We still have ground to cover. " she told him.
David started to go through the bag and realized that it was his clothes for tomorrow. After-all he was going home.
Reality sets in as he realizes she is right. " Yeah I know. "
" Okay ...." she says to him..." Are you ready to continue ?"
" Why not . " he says.

Looking into his childlike face, she asks him " Okay.....Now you left off telling me and I quote...Thank God for Hutch. Why ? Why thank God for Hutch ? "
David just thought for a minute..." Aurora, Ever since I was a kid in the city, I`ve wanted to have a brother to look after me......I mean Nicky is younger than me and I always looked after him ....yet after dad died, well ma couldn`t keep tabs on him........I couldn`t be a father to Nicky. I was on the road to delinguincy too. Then out of the blue, Ma sends me out here to live with Aunt Rosie. You see, I had to come here. I had to meet Hutch. Of course at the time I didn`t know it but.....see Hutch is sort of like my big brother.....In fact he`s been there for me more than Nicky ever has. "
Aurora didn`t even try to second guess that one.....
David continued....." Out here, on the streets, You don`t know how it is with me and Hutch.......I helped him with the Forrest case, And when I got poisened by the University Proffesor for arresting his son on drug charges, well Hutch was there. And on the roof top while he was trying to get the information from Bellamy about the poisen, I saw Bellamy. He was gonna shoot Hutch. I raised my gun first and fired. It only took one shot. Bellamy was dead. And that other lunatic Prudholm......After I shot Lonnie..........He was just a kid.........16 years old Aurora.........Prudholm was unmerciful. He killed 2 cops and then told me that if I didn`t resign ....he`ld kill a cops family.....carload of kiddies and all. Dobey and Hutch wouldn`t let me quit. Hutch stuck by me in the field...where it counts. "
Aurora needed to bring it into the present. " Okay David....So tell me about now.....Tell me about this .....about Tran......about Darla and Denis. "
" Well......... You see...We help each other out. Hutch and me . It was Hutch that pulled me out of that hellhouse......And when the babies were found, it was Hutch that was there with me. Thank God those freaks didn`t disfigure their faces like they did the others. I couldn`t deal with that. He was there at the morque...when I had to deliver the babies. He pried little Denis from my hands. Aurora, it was Hutch that finally helped me wash the dried blood....... off of .......my hands. I couldn`t do it." He looked down at his hands and for a second, there was a brief shed tear. " I needed to be able to see the faces.......but...." after a slight pause,he said it again. " I ....couldn`t do it......"
David was looking a little bit un-nerved. Aurora saw this and asked him if he was able to continue. David responded with an uneasy yes.
" Oh God Aurora, I `m too young for all of this. " She agreed. " But David, you`re doing great. Please don`t stop and I promise you`ll be whole again. That`s the goal here David...Wholeness....and Wellness. "
" I know this Aurora..... but I am only scratching the surface. "
" That`s okay. That`s what my job is. To help you do whatever it takes for you to be whole. I`ve got nowhere to go. "
She sounded like his mother. Always eager to listen. Her voice was soothing.
" Okay, Let`s switch to Tran......Okay ? " she said.
"Okay. " he said. " You gotta understand though..... I didn`t mean to kill him....Do you know that ? I was 19 years old. No-one told me that I`ld be taking the lives of 2 year old kids. I couldn`t believe it. That hooch C--- She tied a bomb to him and sent him to kill Americans. She sacrificed her son for the VC. And I gave her that glory. That`s sick. When I realized what was happening...I didn`t know whether I was coming or going. I had......only....... seconds..."
Davids hands were shaking. Shaking from nervousness...shaking from fear.
Aurora saw this....put down her writing tablet.....moved in closer to him and took his hands in hers. " David. " she said. " You are safe. We are not at war anymore with the VC. "
David got frustrated....Pulling his hands from hers, he said " Yeah. " he said smuggly..." You`re right. YOU...... are not at war with the VC anymore........I am ! I`ll be at war with them till my body physically dies ! When I raised my gun, took aim and fired, I did the unthinkable. Maybe her son didn`t kill off the 16 sleeping Americans......But he killed me ! Okay....he didn`t physically kill me.....but he might as well have....In fact I wish he had ! .....I mean ....it`s better than living this way....always on edge.....plagued by nightmares....."
Aurora could see he was getting more agitated. David continued, his voice a little more pronounced...." Awww dontcha get it Aurora ?.....
I died back there! ........or at least a part of me did. "
David gets up from his bed. He is walking by the window....pacing. His Italian heritage was obvious by the way he used his arms as an extention of his voice.
" All my buddies came out and surrounded me. Talk was of the hero that saved the squad from the VC. They called me a hero, Everyone drank to life.
I drank to....... forget it.........everything else but ..... ! You know ? They gave me a God-damned piece of silver and sent me home. Only ...guess what ? When I did come home, I heard the comments....I heard the name callings. Baby-killer .....Pattie-dweller........One lady even pulled me aside and told me that if I loved Vietnam so much...maybe I ought to consider living there. I had a kid kick me in my leg and tell me that baby-killers were not welcome in his neighborhood ! I was a kid Aurora....and you know ? ... They say that men are children.....but they forget that sometimes children are men.....I was 19 years old. Fresh outta high school...... How`s that for letting go ...Huh ? "
David`s demeanor changed. He was angry ...but he was also beaten. Afraid. " I can see now, why Marcos called me....The dark warrior....." His anger crossed the line into defeat...he was starting to cry. " One would have to be filled with darkness Aurora ....to do the sorts of things I did ? Huh ? I shoulda tried to help Tran. I shoulda tried to help Darla........Denis.......Gail....Oh my God...Gail."
Aurora rose up and stood in front of him. Commanding his attention, she spoke sternly as she grabbed his hands and forced him to look at her.
" You shoulda helped them ? Tran ? Darla ? Denis ? How David ? How the hell could you help them ? Their fate was already sealed. And sometimes no-one can understand it. It`s not meant to be understood. You are not the bad one here. "
All the time while Aurora is saying this to him, he is fighting agreeing with her. He is shaking his head..." You don`t understand .....no no........you don`t understand...."
" Simon Marcos is the bad one David. He is the one filled with evil. He kills because he wants to....likes to..... He craves it......But you...You killed because you HAD to. In all cases David.....you killed only because you HAD to. And if I might add, you were hindered ....David...... hindered from saving the others. "
David began sobbing. He let go of her hands and she grabbed him by the waist.
" Come on David..." Aurora said. " Let go of it. You have to let it go. "
His cries were piercing ...right through to the heart. " No ....no....no..." he said.
Aurora held onto him. This was what he had been needing. " David ...you can`t hold onto this. This is what keeps you from being there for Hutch. And you`re always there for him ....Right ? "
As soon as she said Hutch`s name David began to snap out of it.
" Are you saying that...." he said
Aurora looked at him and spoke " What I`m saying David is that I know you want to be there for Hutch....but you just can`t ...especially when you`re carrying all of this other stuff."
She had a hold of his waist . As he began to settle down, she took hold of a tissue. She wiped the tears from his eyes and took her hand and wiped his tear streaked face.
" Aurora....?" he said. " I know you`re right. But tell me how to overcome these feelings ....or at least live with them.......Do you know how tormenting this is ? "
His sobs could still be heard underneath her voice. " David, feelings especially these kinds of feelings...as deep as they run, They will always be there. It becomes a matter of learning to deal with them....Overcoming them indicates that you want to conquer them. And sorry ....There is never an instance of a specific feeling being eradicated....at least none that I know of. "
That brought about a small crack of a smile. David began to laugh a bit. " You must think all this is sick.... right ? "
" On the contrary David. I think you are quite level headed. "
That brought about more smiles.
"Now Detective.....let`s get you back into this bed. " Aurora said.

As the afternoon progressed, the two spoke about many things. David began to let go. He spoke of his dealings with Marcos. From the beginning to the present. He spoke of his feelings of inadequecy and his feelings of worthlessness. He spoke of the investigation. How it was extremely trying on him....and Hutch....He spoke of how he shouldered the entire case.....At least he thought he had to, how he thought he had to be the rescuer for the Fox family. How ashamed he was when he realized he couldn`t be. He even told her that he spent many nights apologizing to Tran. He spoke of the autopsy pictures. How he saw more....alot more than what was there. All of the visits to Marcos den. He spoke of Marcos` arrogence. Told Aurora how he belted him....not once ...but twice.... That settled the issue of Marcos wanting Davids Power....afterall, No-one strikes Simon.... He spoke of the pain he felt having to get the babies out of the dumpster, and bring the babies back to the morque. Everything that had transpired in the Marcos investigation from the murder to his abduction, from Gails terrifying ordeal back at the zoo in the caves, which they agreed , solidified his feelings of worthlessness. to the present. all of it they touched on.

Right there in the hospital room, David Michael Starsky had begun to let go.
Aurora told him that he would be seen, and sometimes with Hutch too, for a few months to disect the details and to solidify his recovery.

David Starsky was on his way to full recovery. It would take some time but he would recover.

AUTHORS NOTE

For all of my loyal readers. Especially the ones who never gave up hope in me.
The entire 2 years I have been writing this " Epic " I have never forgotten you. Cris in Brazil, Sandy in Canada, Julie, Maria, Tammy Ruggles , Skip,Tooki ,Brit, " R " . And countless others that I forgot to list. Without readers, writers would have no audience. I hope that you enjoy this work. It has truly come from my heart.

LAM

This War is Over
by LAM

take off my pain
carry me slow
i won`t fight here anymore
tell them i`m alright
i`m coming home
tell them i`m alright
i`m all alone
this war is over
i`m coming home

melissa etheridge ( your little secret ) 1995

PART 3 : THE RESULT

Chapter 31

4:30 pm. Aurora Madison left with renewed confidence that in a short while Captain Dobey would have his boys back. Starsky was in the room when he heard someone coming in.
He looked over....." Beth ? " he said.
She answered quietly " Yes David ...it`s me. Just wanted to let you know that dinner is on it`s way up."
David asked " Oh ...is that all ? ......Out with it........What`s wrong ? "
"Oh nothing ." she replied.
David`s a detective.....nothing as obvious as this was gonna go unnoticed.
" Oh come on Beth....I`ve been here too long not to see it . "
Beth just looked over at him " Well you know.......I don`t quite know yet, what I`m gonna do without you around. "
" Huh ? " David asked.
" Well....who am I gonna look after ? " she asked .
David looked at her and said " Hey there beautiful. You`re not getting rid of me that easily. Oh no. "
Beth began to blush. It is not hospital policy for the employees to get involved with the patients.
But this was different. Beth didn`t look at him like a patient anymore. He was more than that. , at least she wanted him to be.
David placed his hand on the side of the bed and motioned for Beth to come and sit. As soon as she did, he took hold of her porcelein hands. He asked her to look at him. " Come on Beth. I see it in your eyes. "
" What ? What do you see in my eyes David ? "
David thought for a moment. " Well. " he said " I see many things....but I especially see a wonderful, caring person. I see someone who never gave up on me. I see someone......... I`ld like to get to know a little better. Of course if that`s okay with you ? " "
Her heart was all a flutter.
She interrupted him and she started to tear. He moved to help wipe it away.
She felt his hand on her face and it was like the velvet petal of a rose He was so gentle. She longed for more of him.
" Why do you cry Beth ? " he asked.
As she sniffled she explained " I cry because you almost gave in to the dreams. I saw what they did to you. You had so much fear. so much for you to have on your shoulders. But I knew David, I knew that you were a fighter. And I for one am glad to have you back. "
" Beth . That is beautiful. " He thought for a moment, then brought her hand up to his chest and over to his heart. " Remember Beth ? " he asked. Nodding, she said " Yes David I do. "
They both said it at nearly the same time " It`s this...It`s this you have to trust.
And right there in the room, the two friends drew closer to each other and readied themselves for their first kiss.
A knock on the door ended that quickly.
" Mr. Starsky ? Your dinner is here. Meatloaf ? Right ?" came the rather husky voice on the other side of the door.
Beth and David jumped and Beth, fumbling like a school girl trying to straighten out her uniform.
" Aahh yeah... meatloaf ." he said with a bit of a chuckle. Beth looked over to him " What`s so funny sargeant ? " David just smiled back to her.
" I`ll be in to check on you later David......now eat all of your dinner. "
David gave her the salute and said " Yes ma`am ! "
The dinner steward brought in his dinner and placed it on the tray.
" You`re leaving us tomorrow ? " the steward asked.
" Yep....this is it. That`s why I ordered the meatloaf. " David said.
" Oh ? Most people pick the better tasting hospital meals. Like Turkey or steak. "
" Well I`m not most people. " he said....
" That you are definately not David Starsky. " came Beth`s statement which was followed by her feeble attempt to imitate Groucho......"
" Out with you , before I call the humor police. " he said. And before long Beth and the dinner steward had left .

He looked over at the clock. Five pm. he thought ..... Hutch will be here soon.

The elevators had become Hutch`s new mode of transportation. Exiting them for one last night, he walked on towards the nurses station.
Beth sat at her desk. Ever the proffessional. He stopped by and said hello.
Upon hearing Hutch`s voice she immediately stopped what she was doing to go over and see him. " Ken ! " she said. " Do you believe it ? He`ll be going home tomorrow. "
" I know. It doesn`t seem possible. does it. I`ve spent the last two weeks cleaning up at his apartment. He`ll be walking into a whole new place. With nothing to remind him of what happened,"
Oh. That`s great Ken. What`s that in the bag ? Don`t tell me....More clothes.."
With that came a small chuckle from Hutch. " No No " he said. " Just something special I brought him....you know for his last night and all. "
" Oh ? like what ? " Beth asked curiously.
Hutch leaned into the nurses station counter and motioned for Beth to come closer. " Okay....you`ve caught my attention. " she said.
Hutch whispered to her....." Okay....It`s his favorite.....A mega strawberry milkshake. The only place that makes them this way is a little known out of the way diner. It`s out on the coast. "
" Ken that`s really nice of you. I`m sure he`ll appreciate it. "
" Dinner done ? " Ken asked .
" Yes , they are just picking up the last of the trays. " she answered.
" Thanks....." he said to Beth. " Thanks for taking such great care of him. "
" You should be thanked . " she said to him . " What I`ve done is really nothing compared to what you`ve done. We should all be blessed with
one friend like you. "
Ken said " Gee that`s nice of you to say. Speaking of friends...How is he ? "
" Go on in and see for yourself. I don`t know what happened today, but that Aurora...well she must have a direct line to heaven. " she said with a bit of laughter.

Spiking Kens interest, he began a faster walk down the hallway until he got to Davids room. He knocked on the door and said " Hey buddy. It`s me ....Hutch."
Upon entering the room, he found his friend sitting on the side of his bed. He was looking out the window. " Starsky ? " Hutch asked.
Turning around towards Hutch he looked at him and said " Hadja goin there for a minute...Huh ? "
Hutch smirked at him and said " Yeah ...So...you ready to leave this place tomorrow ? " Hutch asked.
" Oh yeah. I got alot to catch up with.....Gotta get my place back in order. You know." he said.
" Yeah...I do. But you know ....... I`ll be there to help ya. You`re definately gonna need some help. you left some mess. " Hutch said
" Hutch ? " David asked .
" Yeah what is it ? "
" Well, it`s me I guess. I know I probably shouldn`t ....but I`m second guessing my going home. "
" Hey there buddy...." Hutch said as he approached the bed. " I know you`ll be all right. Say ....How`d your visit with Aurora go this morning ? "
" I guess it went ok. She got me talking about alot of stuff...."
" Good stuff I hope right ? " Hutch asked.
" Yup. It was good alright. She says I`m not completely cured of it all, but I`ll see her more and talk about it. She says I`ll never be completely free of the dreams....But I`ll learn how to cope with them. "
Hutch looked at his friend and placed a hand on Starsky`s shoulder. " Hey ...I know You`ll do fine Starsk. "
Continuing , Hutch asked him , So, what kind of things did you talk about ? "
" Jeez Hutch...everything. We talked about everything. The investigation ...the murder scene....even my abduction. "
" You did all that , this afternoon ? " Hutch asked. " Wow..."
Starsky stood up and said " You know Hutch ? Aurora said that I have at least come clean about everything. I guess, that`s why she still wants to see me....
you know.....like .........after I get out of here tomorrow . "
" Yeah Starsk. I didn`t think that she`ld just let you go. That whole Marcos mess has affected all of us. But , I think you got the brunt of it. "
" Me ? What about you Hutch ? I mean you were the one who had to go in the dumpster and retrieve the bodies of the babies. And you heard their voices.
I saw faces. Thank God Hutch....But you ....you heard their voices...screaming and crying. I don`t know if I could have handled that. "
Just then at that point, Hutch remembered the shake. Interupting Starsky he said
" Hey....Hey.....Guess what I brought you ? "
Starsky wasn`t really in the mood for guessing games.
" Come on Starsk . " Hutch said . " I ran into Beth out there. When I asked her how you were doing ....well just lets say that the gleam in her eye told me everything. Come on pal, Guess what I brought you. "
Starskys violet pools stared right into Hutch`s.
"Okay. I`m guessing...... Is it the caboose to the train I got last year ? "
Hutch shook his head.
" Okay then......a new paint job for my car...."
Hutch started to laugh. " No it`s not a new paint job for your car........ya big dummy. I`ll give ya a hint. It is smooth and creamy ...comes from the coast.....and it`s pink...."
Starsky knew right away " I can`t believe that you went to all the trouble and rode out to the coast just for a strawberry milkshake. "
Hutch just kind of looked at him and holding the bag in front of him he said " Ahh but this is no ordinary Strawberry milkshake........and you are no ordinary friend! "
Starsky luaghed a bit.
"This is the Coastal Mega Strawberry Milkshake. Ta da !!!! "
With that Hutch opened the bag and pulled out the shake.
Starskys eyes lit up . " Oh man Hutch. This is it. This one tops it all. Thanks buddy. Starsky said with newfound fervor. "
Hutch gave it to him and watched him drink nearly half of it in one shot.
" Whoa there buddy...." he said " save some for later.
Beth came in to check on David. He said " Hey there Beautiful....get yourself a cup...you gotta try this....."
Beth looked at him and said " Oh I will. I haveta find out what a Coastal Mega Strawberry Milkshake tastes like. Wouldn`t miss it for the world. Just give me a sec. Okay ? After checking his vitals and making sure he was comfortable, Beth went to get a cup.
" Wait until she gets a taste of this. Hutch. "
" Yeah then we`re done for. Sounds like you two are hookin up. Huh ?" Hutch asked.
Starsky told him " Well don`t go picking out tuxedos yet but yeah...I think we`re gonna try and get together. "
" Well Starsk, she is nice. I wish ya luck. "
Beth came back a few minutes later with a cup . " Fill her up David "
" Okay beautiful lady....but I warn you that you are in for the most thrilling taste testing experience of your life. "
Beth just watched him. Like a master bartender, he poured it ever so carefully. " There . " he said. " Now before you drink it, just back up a bit so I can watch ya. "
Hutch stood back, watching this circus. " You`re too much Starsk.. "
Beth raised the cup and tasted it. After a minute she looked at the two men and smiled. " Wow ! guys ....this is really great. I guess you were`nt kidding. Thank you for letting me share this taste testing wonder with you. "
Starsky snapped his fingers and said " Ya see Hutch...I knew she`ld like it. "
Hutch looked at the two of them....." You know ? you two belong together...."
Starsky and Beth, both adorned with Mega Milkshake moustaches looked at Hutch and said in unison " You don`t say. "
Well the three finished off the milkshake, and time was slowly wasting away.
" Okay guys..." Beth said " You only have about 40 minutes or so before I have to chase you out of here."
David looked at her said " Okay beautiful.....We`ll be good. "
As soon as Beth left , the two men were alone again inside the room.
" Boy oh boy Starsk, you know how to pick em. " Hutch said.
" She`s special Hutch. real special. "
" Oh hey there. did you get the package I sent up with Aurora ? " Hutch asked.
Starsky nodded " yup."
" Did you look inside ? " Hutch asked.
" Didn`t have to. I peeked in and saw that you packed my clothes for tomorrow. "
Hutch asked Starsky " Where is it ? "
" The bag ? It`s in the closet. "
Hutch went and retrieved the bag from with in the closet .
" I don`t know what I`m gonna do about you Starsk...."
" Okay Blondie. what`s up ? "
" Oh ...you`ll see. " Hutch said....." You missed something ...that`s all. "
" Oh ? " David said.
" Ah ha ! Here it is. " Hutch said holding his right fist in the air " Now close your eyes...This is pretty special. "
" Oh c`mon Hutch....."
" Nope..... " the tall blonde man insisted...." Now close your eyes..."
" Whadjya get me Hutch ? " David asked.
" Okay...now put out your hands....." Hutch commanded.
" Jeez, you are something you know that ? " Starsky said as he complied.
" Okay...." Hutch said , as he placed his gift into his friends hands " You can open your eyes now. "
That was all he needed. David Michael Starsky was just as much a kid as the best of them when it came to opening gifts. Opening his eyes, He marveled at the small box wrapped in red and white paper.
Pointing at the box, he looked over to Hutch and said " Nice wrapping...."
Hutch smiled back, " Just open it will ya. "
He needed no more encouragement. He unwrapped the gift and opened the box.
As soon as he saw what it was he just stopped.
Hutch thought he had made a mistake. { oh no.......what did I do ? }
" Starsk ? " Hutch asked....." Ya okay ? "
Starsky looked up at Hutch. Looking back to Starsky, Hutch saw his happiness. Starskys violet orbs were easily predictable.
Instantly Starsky asked " Oh man Hutch ! Where did you ever find this ?
I mean Bicentennial patriotic noisemakers are not easily found. Considering ...it`s not the bicentennial anymore. "
Hutch was glad to see that Starsky was pleased. " Well ....there is this shop in LA that has all kinds of memorbelia......"
" LA ! " Starsky said smiling. " I can`t believe it. Am I starting to
wear off on you ? Maybe at the Tri-centennial, I`ll get you out of Morries Kosher Deli and Lawn Chair Emporium attire ? no ? "
Hutch just laughed at his friends cheap shot....smiling he said " You know Starsk...It just might take you another hundred years. "
Starsky smiled and the two men shared a moment of laughter that they hadn`t shared in almost a year.
After a bit of silence, Hutch got up and went over to the bed.
Standing by the side, he looked at his friend and said " Well partner, I should probably get going ya know ? "
Starsky just shook his head " yeah...probably should. "
" Hey listen Starsk, you`ll be just fine out there. You got lots of friends.........and we`re all gonna look out for ya. "
" I know Hutch." Starsky said " I just don`t wanna screw up again......and what about the next case ? "
" Hey ? " Hutch asked, " Why you worrying about all of that ? You`re not even back on the job yet. "
" I can`t help it Hutch. " he said.
" Ah....Starsk ? I know a little something that might help you. "
" I`m all ears Blondie. " he said
" One Day at a Time. kay ? Just take it one day at a time. "
" I can do that . " he answered. " Listen, you got everything for tomorrow ? "
Hutch looked at him and said " Yep. I`ll be here early ...probably around 9:30.
Is that okay? "
Starsky answered with " Yeah okay. That`ll give me time to get dressed ............Oh and listen. Thanks for everything. Especially the noisemaker. "
Hutch smiled " Okay, Try and get some sleep.....and I`ll see you in the morning. "
So, Hutch turned and walked out of the room. When he got to the door, he turned back and saw David..............holding up the noisemaker and doing what he does best.........flashing that thousand watt smile of his.
And so, Ken Hutchinson left the hospital, uncertain of alot of things but absolutely certain that his friend had come full circle. On the way out, Beth saw him and smiled. He thought how lucky he and Starsky were. The wonderful people that were around them......all the help they had recieved. And in thinking about this he realized that it was those things that helped to make this whole sour experience worthwhile.
A few minutes after Hutch left , Beth started her night rounds. She always saved David for last. Knocking gently on his door, she asked if late night visitors were welcome.
David looked over at her and he replied " Only beautiful ones. "
Walking over by his bed, she ran her fingers through his baby soft black locks and kissed him on the forehead.
Speaking gently she said " Aww ....That was awfully nice of you to say that. "
Continuing, she began taking his vital signs. After a few minutes he asked " Well beautiful .....Am I all set for going home tomorrow ? "
" Well...I would say so. " answered Beth with a smile. " You`re certainly looking better and that Aurora Madison.... she was really wonderful with you.
Sighing for a moment, she spoke...."You`ll be fine. " she said as she patted him on his shoulder.
Then she moved over to the chair. " Can I keep you company for a bit ? " she asked.
" Oh Beth.....you don`t have to ask me that. Anytime...." he said.
Then continuing he asked " You working tomorrow ? "
" Yes I am. " she said softly.
Davids smile was warm and comforting to Beth.
" You didn`t think I would miss it did you ? " she asked.
" No. Besides....... I get to be escorted out of this place by the prettiest nurse here." he said.
That got Beth blushing.
Getting up from the chair and moving it back up against the wall, Beth turned around and approached his bedside. Taking hold of his hand she looked into his indigo eyes and said "You really are too much....d`you know that David ? "
He flashed his thousand watt smile, and said " You are one beautiful lady Beth. C`mere.... " he said as he drew her close to him. He gave her a gentle host of kisses along her lips. She mirrored what he was doing to her. Both of them were lost in the moment. Beth withdrew slowly and began to mother him.
She said "Okay David.....There`ll be plenty of time for that. But right now, you
need your rest. Big day tomorrow.... "
He looked a little sad. " Schucks ! " he said. " I won`t be able to go to sleep. "
Beth looked at him and said..." Oh ? I think you`ll manage..." as she sauntered over to the door.
He continued....." you are a tease lady. "
" Ah ha....." she said demurely.
" But..... you`re mine. " he said .

The door was left ajar. The room light was off.
And David Starsky was alone. But it was different this time. He didn`t feel alone. He didn`t feel scared there in the hospital bed. He was overwhelmed by the outpouring of affection that had been bestowed on him over the last few weeks. And those closest to him were responsible. He felt loved beyond his comprehension. He still felt unsure of the future, but he knew that Hutch would be with him to help him. His thoughts were beginning to turn around. He was coming back from his war. It nearly destroyed him. But he fought back and now that he had stood face to face with his demons and won, he could see their enormity, and he was humbled. He teared up a bit , and in the quiet of his room, he let go even more. His private tears were becoming rivers of healing salve.

And for the first time in a long time David Starsky slept with no pain.

THE OUTCOME

Chapter 32

The time had come for David Michael Starsky to leave the hospital. Everything went according to plan. At the hospital, doctors and nurses alike stopped in to see him. They offered their sincerest wishes and prayers for good health and happiness.
It wasn`t quite 9:30 , and Hutch hadn`t gotten there yet. But there was a knock on the door. " David looked up and saw Aurora Madison. " Aurora, what are you doin` here ? " he asked .
Entering his room she said " Well I had to come by and wish you well. Besides, it gave me the opportunity to give you your next appointment time. "
David looked over at her and smiled saying " Well, since I`m gonna be home for another couple of weeks, I`ll take the first one you got. "
" I knew that. " she said holding out a card to him. " That`s why I`ve already set it up. Just be there. Okay. And good luck. "
David took the card from her hand.
She turned around and started to head towards the door.
" Hey ! " he yelled. "Hold up a sec. " he said.
Turning around, she asked . " David ? What is it ? "
As soon as he reached her, he said " Listen....I don`t know how to say this....But....well....I owe ya. I couldn`a done any of this withoutcha. ......Aurora, thank you. "
Aurora felt overwhelmed . But this was her profession. " Listen, " she said " We still have lots of ground to cover David. Thank me when it`s all over ...Deal ? "
she asked.
David smiled at her and told her it was a deal. Then he said. " I don`t care what anyone says .......for me......The worst is overwith. "
Aurora understood that and gave him a big smile. " I`ll see you in a few days David. " Then she continued on her way to the elevator.
As she stepped into the elevator, she turned around and watched David as he waved to her . As the doors shut, she smiled because she knew that not only was he well on his way, but that she too, had done good.

In the meantime, Hutch was back at his place making a few phone calls.
"....I know that Hug....But everythings gotta be perfect ya dig ? "
" Sure , sure my nervous brother. But remember my man...It`s just a
small partay ....Huggy`s got it all under control. ... ya dig ? "
Hutch just stared into the phone...." Listen Huggy, there`s no time to be funny.....I`m headin` out to pick him up ....."
Huggy cut him off. " Okay....Okay......I got the messege. Don`t worry Hutch.....I`ll take care of everything. "
Hutch eased off a bit. " Hey listen, Thanks Huggy I appreciate everything that you`re doing. "
Huggy ended their phone call with " No problemo ...Amigo....see ya later. "

Back over at the hospital Dr. Franklin had stopped in to see David. He told him that he didn`t want to see him back for at least 6 months.
David smiled and told him that he`ld do his best. After sharing a brief laugh, Dr. Franklin told him that he was going to check on the release forms and he`ld be right back. David thanked him for everything. " I`ll see ya in a bit doc.
Seconds later , another tap on the door. Turning around and looking had him staring right at Beth. " Hey good-lookin` ! " he said. " Checkin up on me huh ? "
" Noooo ! " she said " Makin` sure you`re gettin` outta here. " she finished.
David went over to her. He whispered into her ear. " And why do you want me outta here so fast ? hmmmmm ? "
Beth gave him a whimsical look. " Why David Starsky. " she said. " You oughta be ashamed of yourself.....thinkin` such things in here. "
A moment of silence and then she continued..." Even if it is true. "
Pulling her closer to him , he said " rrrruff. " as he playfully growled and nestled his face in her neck. "Pulling away from her slightly, found him staring right into her glistening hazel eyes.
" Oh Beth, you have no idea how happy I am right now. " he said
Beth replied " Oh....I think I do. But I could never understand the depth of what you went through. I only have what I have seen you go through in your recovery.
I know that you certainly are not the same man you were when you came in here. I am truly grateful for that. "
David gazed into her hazel sparkles, " I have alot to thank you for . D`you know that ? "
She asked " Me ? What for ? I was only doing my job. "
David`s violet pools were misting, " You know , I can`t believe that you were only doing your job. To me it was plenty more than that. I kept you up countless nights. For many hours no less. You were an extension of Aurora...More than that....Beth. You did alot more for me than just help nurse me back to health and I wanted you to know that.
Beth understood. " Thank you very much David. It means alot to me...." she said.
David drew her into a hug and gave her a big squeeze. " See what you do to me beautiful..." he said.
Beth thought he was letting up on the hug , when he drew her back in. Placing his left hand at the nape of her neck and the other one softly on the left side of her face, he began to give her yet another host of kisses. All along the outline of her perfect mouth slowly along her nose, right to her eyelids, finishing at her forehead.
" Ah....David...." she said.
" Hmmm? " David answered.
" D-a-v-i-d.....? " she asked again.
" Huh ? " he said as he backed away....." Oh....sorry...I kinda got carried away..." he said.
Beth smiled and said " Oh yeah....." she said...." But ya never know whose coming around the corner here..."
No sooner said and Hutch walked in. " Realizing the two were there, he came to an abrupt halt Waving his hands he asked " Oh...Am I interuptimg something here...? "
The two lovebirds just looked at each other....Slightly blushing , they giggled a bit.
Beth looked at David and said " I`ll be right back. "
On her way to the door she said hello to Hutch. Starsky looked over to Hutch and said " Nice timing.... "
Hutch looked at David and said " Can`t you control yourself ? Now I know you`re getting better. "
" I think you`re jealous Hutch" David said.
Scurrying around the room Hutch said " Come on....we got other things to deal with...Dijya get your release forms yet ? "
" Whoa Hutch ...who sent you in like a hurricane ? "
" Oh...I`m just wanting to get you outta here. I`ve seen enough of this place. "
David agreed " Well, about the release forms..."
At that, Dr. Franklin interupted. " Well David ....Here`s the release forms. Just sign here and here and here ...and you can go. "
Hutch came around towards him. " Ahhhh...Doc ? " he asked. " Is there anything we should do at home ? Any medications and such ? "
Starsky was absolutely amazed. Raising his eyebrows, he looked at Hutch and said.. " Hey.......I think I can deal with this ....."
Hutch knew that he was pushing his mothering bit to the max, but he couldn`t help it. '
" Hey. " Hutch said...Sorry pal, I just don`t wanna forget anything. ya know ?"
Going over towards Hutch , Starsky rubbed the upper part of his arm and told him. " It`s okay Hutch....I`m okay. "
Dr`. Franklin waited for David to sign everything and gave him all of the copies that he needed. Then he turned and shook hands with David. Re-iterating his earlier statement, with his finger pointing at David he said " Six months David. "
" I got it Doc. Hey...Thanks for everything. " David said.
Dr. Franklin nodded turned towards the door and left.
Hutch looked puzzled..." What was that all about ? " he asked
" Oh ...that ? ....Inside joke between the doc and me...Now can we get
back to this ? " Starsky asked impatiently.
Hutch agreed and went right back to his scurrying...... " Hey Starsk, did you remember to take everything from the bathroom ? "
" Yes I did, Hutch, would you quit..... "
From behind them there was a voice.
" Did someone up here call for an escort ? " Beth`s voice was unmistakeable.
Starsky definately looked upset.
" Aw guys...." He asked. "Do I have to ride in that thing ? " Starsky asked in an indignant tone as he pointed to it.
" Hey there David.....If you don`t ride in this here chair..." she said as she pointed to it. " ..........you don`t get the pleasure of my company. " Beth said as she gave him the groucho eyebrows.
Realizing his grievous mistake he said. " Hey I must have been delerious. "
As Beth reached for his hand she said " Here, Let me help you . "
Starsky melted at her touch. Looking into her eyes as she helped him, he
said " Anytime schweetheart ! " And inside of a minute he was ready to go.
Hutch was a little tied up at that moment, but when he turned to answer his friend, he realized that he had come to his senses.
" You see Ken.....He`s like putty in my hands. " Beth said.
Hutch looked over at David and said " I guess it`s true.....that Beauty did calm the horrible beast...."
Starsky just smirked and said " Real cute Hutch...real cute..."
"Well Starsk ? Ya ready to leave this place ? "
Looking optimistically, Starsky said "I`m about as ready as I`ll ever be. "
As soon as Hutch finished getting Starskys bag together , he looked back at the empty room. Beth waited patiently , as they had agreed to go down together.
Starsky looked also. All of the nightmares....all of the memories. They all came to a head here. Hutch now looked at his partner. Placing his hand on Starskys shoulder, he gave it a soothing squeeze. " Hey " he said.
" It`s all over man. You move on from here Starsk. "
Starsky looked at Hutch, and even though he was leaving, he still had fear.
Even though he was told that it was over, he still wondered inside , if it really was.
And without having to utter a word, Starskys violet orbs spoke to Hutch as if they were sitting across from each other in full conversation.
As Hutch squeezed his friends shoulder again, Beth released the brake of the wheelchair and said " Okay guys ...It`s time to move on. "
Down the hall they went, David, Beth, and Hutch. Into the elevator for the final ride. They were all silent in the elevator. They all knew that this was truly his test. This would be where it counts. And they all had mixed feelings.
Ground level. As the doors opened, and they exited, Hutch went ahead of them and told Starsky that he`ld pull the car around.
" Come on Hutch....Did you bring your car....I`m not riding home in that thing. Beth don`t make me ride home in that thing...."
Hutch had some bags and stuff, " Please Starsk, You wanted me to pick you up right.....I`ll be back. And stay put. " he said to Starsky.
As soon as Hutch went to get his car, David looked up at Beth and said. " I`m gonna be more embarrassed in that, then I am in this. "
" Oh come on....It can`t be all that bad. " Beth said.
" It`s bad... yup...It`s bad....."
Within a few minutes, there was a roar coming from outside. As David looked outside the front doors he saw this magnificent red and white Gran Torino with a wide white stripe pulling in. Then he saw Hutch getting out from the drivers side.
Beth had him outside by now, and he was elated. " Hutch ! You did it ! You brought my baby !" he said.
Hutch was looking at him " Yeah....don`t say it to loud Starsk. "
Continueing he said " D`you know how stupid I look driving this parade float around ? " He asked.
" But you did it....and you did it for me...And I`m not gonna forget it.
Beth watched the exchange. Tugging gently on Davids arm, she said " Okay David, This is it. Lets get you in the car. Kay ? "
David got up from the chair, and turned to see Beth. Hutch knew that they were probably wanting to have a moment...so he got into the car and waited.
Before David got in the car, he saw that Beth was tearing up. Gently he wiped away her tears. " Beautiful lady....Tears again ? " he asked.
She had to fight them back. " I can`t help it. " she said sobbing.
" I`ll wash them away ....." he said.
" You should go David. Don`t keep Hutch waiting. " she said.
Not before I wipe away your tears and give you a kiss. " he said
Beth smiled and gave way to Davids compassion. As he wiped away her tears he told he would call her soon.
She tried to hold back her emotions but she lost control of them. David leaned towards her and his lips met hers. For Beth, when David kissed her, it felt as though he wanted to bestow a world of happiness on her.
David continued along in his kiss, and when he started to withdraw from her, He once again wiped more tears from her eyes. " My beautiful Lady......if you cry anymore, you`ll flood the place. " he said.
Beth agreed. And with David safely inside the car, Hutch started to drive away. David and Beths eyes never broke contact. And when the boys were just out of site, Beth went back inside the hospital to finish her days work.

Meanwhile, just as Hutch made the turn out of the hospital, he slammed on the brake. " Oh Shit ! " he said.
" Hutch ? " David asked . "What`s wrong ?"
" Oh nothing...I know I forgot something up in your room....I gotta go back. "
" Okay. " David said.
Pulling up to the front of the hospital, Hutch told Starsky to wait in the car. " I`ll be right down okay ? "
David just got out of that place, He sure as hell wasn`t going bck. " Sure ...Just don`t be too long...I got alot to do at home yet. "

Hutch got out of the car and ran into the building. He passed the cafeteria and glanced in,. " No Beth . " he said.
Over to the elevator, he got in. There were a few people onboard. Looking over to the panel he asked the tall man standing by it ..." Please push 7 ? Okay ? "
No more needed to be said. The seventh floor...Doors opened, Hutch exited and made his way to the nurses station.
Coming round the corner he found himself looking right at Beth.
" Ken ? Is everything okay...Where`s David ? " she said.
Hutch smiled. " Listen....everythings okay. I had to find a way up here to invite you by for the party we`re having for him later. "
Relieved she said. " A Party ? .....I gotta work....until 7 tonight."
" Well , then I can count on you being there. right ? "
" How will I know where he lives. I only have his phone number. "
Hutch took out a card from his jacket pocket, handing it to her he said. " It`s all in there Beth. it would really surprise him. "
Beth smiled " Okay, I`ll be there. Thanks Ken. "
" Thank you Beth. Now I better go before he gets restless."
They both laughed.
Starsky`s down in the car. " Where the heck are ya Hutch ? "
With in seconds of asking that to himself , Hutch came through the front doors of the hospital waving a blank piece of paper that he folded up. He placed it in his pants pocket quickly so Starsky wouldn`t get any ideas of peeking at it.
" I got it. " Hutch said as he got into the Torino.
Starsky just looked at him and said. " Ya know....You`re a strange person Hutch. "
Hutch smiled back and said, " I must get it from my strange partner....."
Putting the car into gear, Hutch drove out. This time headed straight for Starskys apartment.

Back at his apartment, there was a bit of a party getting underway. Cap`t Dobey, Huggy, Edith, Cal and Rosie. Edith was busy cooking . Huggy was preparing the music. Edith said " Now listen here, When David gets here, we gotta let him relax. He`ll need that. And ya`ll are only stayin` for a couple of hours. He don`t need to be overwhelmed on the first day he`s home. "
Huggy looked right at Edith and in his usual funky style said " Yeeeas Ma`am ! My momma ain`t got nuttin on you. And besides I ain`t no fool with the golden rule. ya dig.... "
Cap`t Dobey just looked at Huggy and smiled. He didn`t really trust Huggy but he knew that he was important to Starsky and Hutch, So he couldn`t be all bad.
" Momma Momma ...They`re here They`re here ! I can`t wait to see Uncle David."
Rosie said. She was such an exuberant little girl with sparkling eyes. She loved her adopted uncles but especially Starsky. He had come to be like a second brother to her. " Okay, Okay . Just calm down . Go on now. " Edith said as she tried to calm her Rosie. Outside his apartment, David was emerging from the car when Hutch appeared in front of him. " Here Starsk, Let me help you. " he said
" Oh come on Hutch, I can walk ya know. " Starsky said as he arose out of the car and began his assent up the stairs to his apartment. But then he stopped about halfway up. " Hey Starsk ? You okay ? " Hutch asked. Starsky knew he really wasn`t . He was now at the place where it had begun. He thought....{ What if I can`t do this...} Hutch came up beside him and spoke, " Hey buddy, it`ll be okay. I promise. "
Starsky just looked at his friend and gave him a small tight hug. " Hey Hutch ? " he said. " Thanks for everything. I dunno what I would do without ya. "
Hutch just smiled back and said softly, " Goes double for me , Starsk. "
Just then, the door to Davids apartment opened up and little Rosie Dobey came running out to greet her uncle. She ran right up to him and gave him a hug that could only come from an eight year old. Not to mention the big smile that eminated from her face. " Uncle David ! Uncle David ! I am soooo glad that you`re home. I missed you a whole lot. " she said.
Because Starsky couldn`t contain himself around kids, he dropped his small bag, knelt down and gave Rosie a hug back. " I missed you too honey, I missed you too. "
As he stood up, he took Rosie in his arms and held her. Going into the apartment, he saw all of the important people in his life. Hutch, Captain Dobey, Cal, Rosie, Edith, Abby, and Huggy.
He was overcome with emotion. Then he got a look around his apartment.
" Hutch ? " he asked.
" Huh ? "
" You cleaned up my place didn`t you ? "
" Well, I couldn`t have my friend coming home to all those reminders...could I ? "
Good emotions swelled to the breakingpoint .
Edith Dobey came over to him..." Well, well, David. How are you doin` ? "
He told her that he was doing okay but he was definately hungry.
Edith shook her head " Darn hospital food, I dunno how anyone can survive it."
Taking David by the hand she led him over to the kitchen table. " Come on now.
All of your friends have cooked up some of your favorites. "
Huggy followed behind and said. " Oh yeah, Like , the captains ferocious chili, and macaroni salad extraordinaire......"
" Hey... " Starsky asked. " Who ordered the pizza with everything ? "
Huggy couldn`t resist answering that " Starsky my man...you won`t believe it......."
Looking over towards Hutch , Huggy continued..." The health food king... has abdicated his throne... all for you my man....all for you."
Starsky was shocked. Meanwhile little Rosie Dobey came running over to Huggy
and whispered something into his ear......Huggy cleared his throat and promptly announced " Ladies and gentlemen........I have been asked by the fair princess Rosie to remind everyone that amoungst the savory treats that are spread out before us, there are these heavenly peanut butter cookies that she herself made....."
" and mommy too......Mr. Bear....Don`t forget mommy..." she said sweetly.
Everyone smiled and laughed with the little girl, especially David. He went over to her and picked her up. Turning and facing everyone he said " Thank you......Thank you....especially you Rosie..... "
" Your most welcome Uncle David !" she interupted.
David gave the little girl a huge hug. It was one that gave him the most satisfaction.
After a few hours of eating and talking, they all helped to put away the food. The Dobey family had to leave because of school, and Huggy had to meet his date for the evening,
So with the traditional hugs and thank you rituals, the apartment was empty...with the exception of Starsky and Hutch and Abby.
It was about 7:10 pm and Starsky was in the bathroom. Hutch glanced over to Abby and said " There`s one more surprise coming for him. He`s gonna flip. "
Abby said " Ken......What are you up to ? "
Hutch just looked at her took a sip of his drink and gave her a peck on the cheek. Getting up, he called to David..." Hey Starsk ? We gotta get more wine ? "
Coming down the hall David just looked really tired. " Yeah....whatever you say Hutch. We got a couple of weeks....."
" Ah...did I say thanks for practically re-doing my bathroom ? "
" Yeah. Hey, I got a question for ya ? "
" Oh yeah....what`s that ? "
" Well, it`s about 4th of July Starsk. "
Starsky got a bit quiet. Afterall, it was one year ago that all of this crap started.
" Ah...What about it ? " he asked tentatively.
" Well. " Hutch said " I was just thinkin that maybe we could ....you know....have a small get together with some friends ? "
Abby nodded , agreeing with Hutch.
Starsky thought about it for a minute and said. " Ya know, That would really bring things to a close ...right ? "
Hutch stood up and went by his friend. " Hey, just think about it Starsk. `kay ? Let me know in a few days. "
" Sure. Okay. ....a few days ? "Starsky said. But Hutch knew , he could see the doubt on Starskys face.
The knock at the door was clear as a bell.
David got up " I`ll get it. " he said
Hutch tapped Abby on the shoulder and said " Watch this ! "
Starsky opened the door and there standing before him was.....
" oh my God...Beth ! " he thought.
Beth just stood waiting to be invited in.
" Oh wow ! Beth.....How`d you find me ? "
" Ahhh Starsk..? You gonna let her in ? " Hutch asked.
" Mmmmph....oh yeah....Come on in . " he said. Turning to introduce her to his company found him saying " Well Beth.......You already know Hutch ...."
" Hi Ken. ...." she said.
" And this is Abby, .....Abby Beth..."
Abby stood to greet her. " So....You are the nurse that stole his heart...Huh ? "
Beth nodded and said " Well. I guess so... but I`ve also left him speechless. " she said giggling.
David noticed that she was holding a grocery bag in her hands. " Ah...Here....Let me help you with that. "
She handed the bag over to him and he brought it into the kitchen. Unloading it, he said " Hey Hutch...Remember that wine you said we had to get ? "
" Yeah..."
Smiling he said " Well this beautiful lady ....just brought with her, a couple of bottles of red........." Turning towards Beth he added " Unless ...of course ...you would prefer Huggy`s concoction....."
Hutch laughed." Don`t do it Beth. " He said.
Beth was laughing and asked " Just what is Huggys concoction ? "
Hutch said " It`s a mixed drink. He calls it a Virgin Starsky ! "
Beth asked inquisitively " Well ....what`s the mix ? '
Hutch said enthusiastically " Beth, I should know this one by heart. Iced Tea and Lemonade ! "
Beth chose the wine.
" Good choice Beth...See Starsk....Abby and I still have a chance to save her from you......." Hutch said as he waved his finger towards Starsky.
" Funny Hutch....Just go inside and be quiet. " Starsky snarled.
Continuing He asked Beth ....." Oh yeah...speaking of knowing....How did you know where to find me ? "
" A little bird told me ..."she said mischieviously.
" Oh yeah and I bet his name is Hutch.....he said.
" And I bet you`re right....." she said demurely.
Coming into the living room with the wine bottle and 1 empty glass, David sat on the couch next to Beth.
After re-filling everyones glass and pouring Beth hers he said,
" Well..... This has been one beautiful night. good friends, good food and good wine. Life don`t get much better than this ...Huh ? "
Hutch and Abby, along with Beth... drank to the health of their friend. Hutch loved to see Starsky smiling and Beth brought it out easily.
Abby , noticing the time got up and excused herself. " I gotta work tomorrow.
Ah ...Ken ? Can you take me over to your house so I can pick up my car."
David looked over at Hutch and panicked a bit. " You coming back ? " he asked.
Hutch assured him that he would. Relief. The first night home would be the roughest. And even his interest in Beth couldn`t satisfy his need to have Hutch there for the next few days.
After saying goodbye to Abby and Hutch, David turned and looked at Beth. Walking over to the table he asked her if she wanted more wine.
Nodding her head gave him the go ahead to pour. Holding the two glasses, he sat back into the couch and handed one to Beth. They raised their glasses in a toast to Davids new start. Afterwards they both placed their glasses onto the table and got comfortable on the couch.
David sat with his back up against the arm of the couch, while Beth sat back against his chest. David played with her hair.
" Hmmmmph " David sighed. You know Beth ? I could stay like this forever. "
Beth agreed. " Me too. "

The two stayed like that for a while. Every so often, they playfully toyed with each other. A kiss here and there. A nip here and there. But this night for the most part was reserved for some much needed peace. There would be plenty of time for further indulgence.
Beth sat up and sat indian style at the opposite end of the couch. " David ? " she asked.
" Yes ? " he asked back.
" How do you feel ...I mean...... really.....How do you feel about being back here ? "
David thought for a moment. " You know ....Everyone tells me that I`ll be okay...Only my emotions...they`re changing all the time. Sometimes I think I can do it ...you know ...be back and all and yet, I can be nervous as hell right in the next breathe. Doesn`t make sense. "
" I can understand that. " she said.
" Why do you ask ? " he asked her.
" Oh I don`t know...I guess what I`m getting at is.....well...this." she said as she sort of waved her finger back and forth between them.
" You mean ....should we be seeing each other ? right ? "
" Well ....Yes ? I don`t want to hinder your recovery. " she said.
Leaning over to her, David reached for her chin and brought it up. Speaking softly he said to her....." Tell me lovely lady....Am I acting like a man that is hindered...in anyway ? " he asked.
" No......" was about all she could get out.
David planted a kiss on Beth that rivaled the best kisses on Hollywood film.
He kept kissing her gently on her mouth. With the intensity building, she couldn`t help herself. She let out a soft moan which gave David the opportunity to thrust his tongue inside.
" God...." she thought " He is a magnificent kisser."
They kissed like that for a few minutes. Then , they had to part.
Beth looked at him and said " In my wildest dreams David, I didn`t think it could be like this. "
Gazing into her glistening hazel eyes, he said. " You could cause a man to get dizzy .....Kissing like that....Incredible......"
David pushed her hair back, looked into her eyes and told her, " Listen, If I`m ever....not okay with this.....you`ll know. "
He looked over at his watch and said " Hey. Hutch should be back soon. I gotta get this mess picked up. "
Beth got up and said " You`re not picking it up alone. Let me help you."
So David and Beth cleaned up. They didn`t have to wait long for Hutch to get
there, and when he did, Beth thought that she should probably leave too. She had work the next day and some stuff to do before she went to bed. So, after saying goodbye to Hutch, she and David went out by the front landing. It was a marvelous night sky, stars crystal clear against the midnight blue sky. They stood for a moment holding each other. Beth turned around and looked into his revealing eyes. " I love the night sky David. "
Agreeing with her he said " It truly is magnificent. You know something........When I was a kid in New York, before my dad died, sometimes at night we`ld slip out onto the roof and sit for hours.......just staring upwards. Sometimes we`ld fall asleep and scare the heck outta ma. "
Beth laughed a bit. " David, That`s not nice.....Goin` outside and not tellin` your mother. "
" Oh..." he said. "Dad caught heck for it the next day...but then he`ld always take me back out..."
" What a nice memory of your dad David. " she said.
Thinking back brought along a hint of tears, but he didn`t like soapy scenes, so he held them back.
" Hey there ...." he said, " Didn`t you say you were going ? "
" Yes . " she answered. " I`ll miss you David. "
David`s response was the same. " And I you...."
Withdrawing from his embrace she said, " Call me ...Okay ? "
" Promise...I will. " he said.
Then as quickly as the two had begun to depart for the evening, they both came back to each other. Placing their hands on each others respective hearts, they both knew. Sharing one last kiss for the night , solidified it.
Beth descended the stairs with steps that were feather light.
David watched her get into her car, and disappear into the night.
When he came back in, Hutch was getting things ready for bed.
" So...." David said. " I guess you`re out here on the couch ? "
" Yep. " Hutch answered. " So...How`d it go with Beth ? " he asked.
"Really good Hutch. I like her. I like her alot. " Starsky answered. Continueing he said " You and Abby look good. "
" She`s really great. She`s been great Starsk through this whole thing."
Finishing the bed, he said " I `ve been thinkin Starsk ? "
Starsky answered " `bout ? "
" Everything....How lucky we are. " Hutch said
" I know what`cha mean....speaking of which....you know what Blondie...? "
" Oh no....What ? " Hutch asked
" I gotta be the luckiest guy in the world. I gotta thank you for everything....I know I`ve thanked you before....But, Hutch...I`m tellin` ya. Without you being there for me....I wouldn`t have made it. "
" Same thing here ....Same thing." Hutch said.
The two friends got up and shared a hug.
Patting each other on the back , Starsky looked at his friend and said, "Time for bed ...K` ?"
Hutch looked over and said... " Yup. "
But as Starsky was going into his room, he walked back out and
asked Hutch " Just one more question...Kay` Blondie ? "
Hutch was exhausted but he said " Sure...what is it ? "
Starsky gazed at Hutch and asked " Stay close by. Right ? "
Hutch saw his friends worry and sat up. " Listen Gordo, I`ve been there through all of it. I`m not leavin now. "
" Thanks Hutch. " he said.

Going in to his room, He got into bed. He left the light on. Not bright...but it was on. David Starsky was glad to be home. But , he was also very scared. This night was going to be very long.

Chapter 33

Well, he survived the first night, and he had begun to feel a bit secure with the feeling of being home.
A week or so later, nearly nine days being home, David Michael Starsky was feeling better. That is , until last night. He knew he had to see Aurora this morning and remembered that they had agreed to meet over at the beach. She thought a little change of scenary was in order.
He knew that his dreams would return, and he knew what it was about, but why now. Why after a week ? he thought. As he sat there in his kitchen, guzzling down his rootbeer, the phone rang....
Clearing his throat he, picked it up and tried to speak clearly. "This better be my lovely lady ..."
" David....." Beth said. You`re eating the cold pizza and drinking the rootbeer......so don`t even try to hide it. "
Beth giggled a bit.
David said " You know me too well schweetheart. "
Beth lowered her voice " Good morning hon. "
David lowered his too. " Good morning to you babe....How are you ? "
Beth told him she was fine but just wanted to check on him...." Are we still on for dinner tonight ? " she asked.
David said anxiously, " Oh yeah...reservations at 7:30. You want me to pick you up ? "
Beth said. " Sure. How about 6:30 ? Is that okay ? "
David said " yes. 6 :30 it is. I`ll be there. "
Beth asked him if he was seeing Aurora this morning. He told her yes, and she said that she was glad.
David asked her again " 6:30 right ? "
Beth spoke quietly into the phone. " Yes and I`ll be waiting....."
David blew kisses into the phone and listened for the click of the reciever onto the cradle.

With in a few minutes the phone rang again.
'" If you`re not Beth or Hutch...you`ld better hang up..." was all he said.
Hutch looked at the reciever and then held it up to his ear....." Starsky ...? Have you lost it again ? " he asked.
" Sorry Hutch, I gotta get ready to meet Aurora this morning out at the beach. " he said.
" You`re not late are ya ? " he asked.
" Nope . Got a couple of hours yet. " he said "
Hutch said " Great ! "
Starsky asked him, " Hutch ? .....Why don`t you come on over ? "
Hutch said " Huh ? Oh ...sure, I`ll be right over.... Everything okay ? "
Starsky told him. " Well, there`s just something I need to ask ya..."
" Well then, I`ll be right over, Okay ? " Hutch asked.
As he went to say sure, He heard the clicking sound of the phone, on Hutch`s end, being placed back into it`s cradle.
Hanging up his own phone, he found himself going about the business of taking his shower.
The water was hot. It felt medicinal to him.
He was washing his hair, and when it came time to rinse, he put his head back....gasping a bit found him struggling for his breath....and then he fell back up against the shower wall.
He stayed that way for a minute or two. Then he took a step forward to the center of the shower and shook his head. Water and soap went everywhere. Leaning his head forward under the shower head, he decided it might be better to rinse this way. Only , seconds into the rinse, he looked down at the floor of the shower stall. The water that was there a minute ago, now ran crimson. " Ahh. shit ! " he gasped. His mind reacted and he pushed open the shower door. Grabbing the towel he had on the toilet, he wrapped it around his torso and just backed up over to the bed. Trying to convince himself that the water was not red but clear, was not happening. So he sat there , on his bed, shaking, scared and listening to the running water.

Hutch must have knocked about 15 or so times. " Where the hell are you starsk ? "
He knew that Starsky didn`t take half hour showers, so he decided, with gun drawn, he would go in. He opened the door first and called out his friends name.
No answer. As he moved further into the house he heard the shower.
" What the ? . " he thought. He moved so he could go inside the bedroom. " Hey Starsk ? " he called out. But still he got no answer. As he approached the shower stall , he could see that the door was open and there was no-one in it. " What the hell ? " he thought.
On instinct, he began to turn around...he saw someone..... Starsky. He was sitting up on the bed. No clothes except the towel he put on.
As he got up, he put away his gun. " Hey buddy ? " he asked.
I almost killed ya. "
Hutch looked at his friend and saw plainly that his once love filled eyes had changed to ones filled with fear.
" Starsk ? What`s got you scared ...Huh ? "
Starsky just looked at him and said. " Blood red.....blood runs red..."
Hutch saw that Starsky was pointing to the shower.
Walking over to the shower scared David. Hutch could see that the water was clear as day. " Hey , this is water Starsk, It`s all right .....It`s just water...."
Starsky, relieved, took a big breath......" Oh man Hutch, I can`t do this. I`m seein` things..........it`s so damn wierd. " he said.
As he got up, he could see that Hutch had shut the water off. As he continued moving across the bedroom, he said, "I must be some sight........ Huh ? "
From the kitchen, Hutch just smiled back at him. He brought up some water for coffee.
" You gonna have a cup of this ? " he asked Starsky.
" Yeah ....I suppose. " Starsky said, as he made his way back to the bathroom.
After he was dressed , he came out and sat down on the couch in the living room.
Hutch brought around the coffee and sat down next to him.
Hutch had a question. " Hey Starsk ? Does Aurora know about these ........visions........if you will. "
Starsky was a little angry, but he saw where Hutch was coming from.
" Hutch ? For the most part, I`ve been straight with Aurora from the start.....besides, this is the first one since.....I`ve been home......well............ besides the dream.... "
Hutch got up and yelled " What ? what dream Starsk ? "
" The one I had last night... It was after Beth left. " Starsky said.
" Sorry for yelling.....can you tell me ? About the dream ?....." Hutch asked.
Starsky just looked at his friend. Checking his watch, he realized that he had some time before he had to leave to see Aurora.
Looking over to Hutch he asked him, " Hey listen, You`re my best friend Hutch..."
Hutch looked at him and sensed his need for undivided attention.
" Starsk ? " Hutch asked....Is everything going okay ? "
Sipping the coffee, he looked over at Hutch and asked him frankly...." You ever...have any .....problems......with Abby ? You know what I mean ? "
Hutch almost laughed. But taking a second look at his friend told him to be wary.
Hutch looked over at Starsky and said " Well, sure buddy....I think it happens to all of us......."
Starsky spoke sharply, " Damnit Hutch....this is serious....I`ve never had this happen......And now, I have this beautiful , amazing girl, and I can`t do it."
Hutch asked, " Does she know? "
Starsky just looked. " Ah, No. Because I never get that far. Lately, I`ve been making excuses. "
Hutch looked at him " Wow, This is serious. " he said
Continueing he said " When did it start Starsk ? "
Starsky said, " When I got home. That night when you left with Abby, well Beth and I were kissing, Oh man, It was great Hutch.....She could drown me with the way she kisses. But then, she opened her mouth, just a little at first, yet when she opened up all the way, She let out this moan....And that was it....I kissed her back for a bit but kissing when nothing else is working......come on..."
" Maybe you gotta give it some time Starsk. ya know ? " Hutch said.
" Nah, I don`t think that`s it Hutch." Starsky said.
Hutch listened intently , then spoke " Are you saying that you think that this could be related to Marcos ? "
Starsky`s eyebrows went up. He looked over at him and said " Why not ? "
Hutch said " Okay, lets go back and see why ? "
Starsky happened to glance down at his watch and jumped " Oh Man Hutch, I`m gonna be a little late for Aurora. "
" Leave the cups. " he said. " Hey listen ? What would you do if I asked you to.....well, come with me ? "
Hutch was shocked for a moment. " To your meeting with Aurora ? Starsk ? Are you sure about this ? " he asked.
Starsky looked at his partner and told him " Yep. I`m sure. ......I think you need to hear this too. "
Hutch didn`t know just what to say, but he knew he was very happy.
Grabbing their jackets, they jumped into Starskys car and took off for the beach.

Aurora had parked close to the beach. She was expecting David soon. She was really pleased about Davids being home. The good thing was that the dreams had subsided. But she knew they were not gone, and only time would tell.

The red and white Torino was unmistakable as it pulled into the parking lot and as it got closer Aurora couldn`t believe it. Hutch was with him.
" This is wonderful. " she thought. The car stopped and the two men got out. Aurora had exited her car when she saw Davids car turning in.
The wind had kicked up enough to bring about a wonderful westerly breeze. David spoke first. " Hey Aurora ? I hope you don`t mind but...I brought Blondie with me this time. "
Aurora smiled happily and said " Not at all David...I told you that when ever you wanted to he could come. It`s good actually. Helps to bring in another side of things. "
David smiled.
Aurora asked Hutch, " So Ken ? How do you feel about being here? "
Hutch thought for a moment and then amswered, " Well Aurora, I `m his friend.....That`s what friends do right ? . Besides above everything else I`m here because he wants me to be. I`m glad to be here. "
Starsky led them over to a snack bar that stood right at the sands edge.
" Hey guys, grab one of those tables there. I`m going in to get something to drink. ....You want anything? "
Both Hutch and Aurora declined.
Minutes later David returned with an iced tea and a lemonade.....plus an additional cup.
Hutch looked and shook his head. " I can`t take you anywhere can I ? " he asked Starsky sarcastically.
Starsky paid him no mind and sat down. After mixing his concoction and sipping it, he looked over to Aurora and said " The man just doesn`t know a good thing. "
Aurora looked over at David and asked him the anticipated question.
" So David ? How are things today ? "
David and Hutch looked over at each other. Aurora picked it up. " Did something happen ?....."
Hutch figured that since Starsky was the one getting therapy, he should be the one to answer. " Starsk...? " he asked.
Starsky looked at his friend and then at Aurora. Hutch gave him a re-affirming nod.
" Well, I know you told me that the dreams wouldn`t......completely...... go away...... but.......I guess I wanted to believe......differently........you know... that they would. I had a dream last night Aurora...." he said sadly.
Aurora didn`t look surprised. She surmised that by Hutch`s presence that it wasn`t about Tran, so she waited.
David continued on...." I had a problem this morning too...in the shower...."
Aurora looked puzzled " Oh ? " she asked
" Yeah......The water in the shower looked like blood. I knew it wasn`t....but my mind kept telling me that it was. I was scared. It left me immobilized. Ask him..." he said as he pointed to Hutch. he was there....
Aurora asked Hutch, " What happened ? "
Hutch told her that he didn`t know how or why...until later on, but he knew that it immobilized him. He told her that when he got to Starskys, he thought there was trouble, so he drew his gun. When he got through the house and over to the bedroom, he saw the shower door open and Starsky over on the bed. " It scared me Aurora. " he added.
Looking over at David, she asked him to tell her about the dream.
He looked unsure of himself, but he knew it had to be done.

Taking a minute to start, he said to Hutch and Aurora, " Listen, this stuff ......it`s pretty sick. Those cultists....they should all be hung. You know ? What they did to me and Gail....."
Aurora asked David " Does this dream have the details .....
from when you were taken ? "
Nodding his head, he quietly said...." Yes. "
Aurora met Hutch`s glance. "at last....." They both thought.
David asked them if they could walk the beach while he spoke.
There wasn`t a problem with that.....from Hutch or Aurora.

As the three people, now friends, began to make their way along the beach, David began to tell his story. His 24 hour ordeal with Simons cult members was coming out. Hutch , as he walked beside his friend, was held to his silence. His disbelief at what Starsky had to endure was evident. Everything made sense to him now. Even why Starsky left out the details in the report.
Hutch thought " Oh God Starsk......I didn`t know ....."
As if Starsky could read his mind, he said " No-one did Hutch. "
Hutch looked over and saw Starskys hand reaching up towards his shoulder.
Hutch brought his hand up and around his friends waist. All he could think of to do was to offer a back rub.
And that was helpful to Starsky since, telling them about the brutal multiple rape of Gail was next. What it felt like to know that there wasn`t anything he could do. Especially since as a cop, he was sworn to protect and serve. The blank look in her eyes that screamed silently for his help. The helpless and worthless feelings that enveloped him when he realized that he was captured ......and vulnerable. Starsky told them that he didn`t realize that the emotions of hate and disgust could root themselves so deep , that all the good ones he had would disappear. And worst of all, in that instance , how horrible that he felt for wishing to die.
He told them about all of the blood. " God..." he said..." There was blood all over the place....there was blood all over the damn place..."
Hutch noticed that Starsky had begun to shake.....just like he was doing earlier.
He put his arm around his friend. " C`mom Starsk....It`ll be okay. "
Starsky looked at Hutch , his violet spheres had become like the rain. And even though Starsky didn`t like soapy scenes, he couldn`t help this release. This was by far the hardest thing he had to do.
Aurora watched intensly, " It`s a long time coming for this. " she thought.
The pain that he bottled up for so long had been creeping out a little at a time, yet Aurora felt that this was probably the last straw.
As they made their way back up to where they had parked, David had talked more. Going back to when he almost drank himself into a coma, locked himself in his place and held his gun at his side twenty four seven. And then something odd happened......Hutch remembered....and then related how he toyed with going back to the heroin.
" You see Starsk.....Even in your weakened state, you saved me...." Hutch said.
He quickly stated back to Hutch....." Well, if it hadn`t been for Huggy....well..."
" Hey . " Hutch said. " What does it matter huh? Point is ......we`re here. right ? "
Starsky said " yeah....you`re right."
Aurora, sensing something more, asked him. " David...what is it ? "
By this time , the three had made it back up to the snack bar. They found the same table that they were sitting at before and sat again.
Aurora asked David again. " Well ? what is it ? "

" Well Aurora, I quess I should be thinking that I`m lucky.....Lucky to be alive.........But I can`t help but think about all of the others. Like the Fox Family, Gail......" And Gail, even though she survived it, she`ll be dead for a long time. Mentally. And why ?.....Because of some psychopathic wierdo, who gets off on this crap. I at least had the benefit of police academy training."
" I`ll tell you the truth.......Back there in my apartment, Sometimes I wish ....still, that I would have taken the gun and ....."
Aurora interupted him and gently said , " Come on David, Don`t think that. Don`t forget about Hutch here, and listen, what you told us today is really a major breakthrough. "
Hutch agreed.
David looked over at Aurora and Hutch and said " You`re right. And I know that......So what do I do with this dream...? "
Aurora knew that her answer was not going to be popular. " Well David, I would say that we keep talking about it. Even you and Hutch. Every memory or dream links to something. So the more we talk about it during the next few months....The less likely it is to bother you. "
Rolling his eyes he reluctantly agreed.
" Still not sold on this totally yet....Huh Starsk ? " Hutch said.
" I am Hutch ! Only, can`t it move any faster....." he said in a lighter tone.
Aurora smiled, " I`ll see you in a few days. Okay ? "
Getting up, all three people walked back to their cars.
Aurora broke their silence, " You guys enjoy the fourth !" she said.
Starsky and Hutch glanced towards each other, knowing that they were planning to.

Inside the torino, Starsky glanced at Hutch, He asked him " Hey ? You know , I was thinkin` `bout what we were talking about earlier. Ya know ? "
Hutch shook his head and agreed, ' I was thinkin` about that too. "
Hutch asked Starsk, " What was it or is it that upset you the most about those 24 hours with those idiots ? "
Starsky answered immediately " That`s easy. The way they treated Gail. I mean at first, I thought she was just like them....but she isn`t Hutch. That moron Joseph,
In alot of ways , he is worse than Simon. I mean, I wanted to kill him Hutch. And I would have went to bed happy."
Hutch looked and said " So Gail, was being tortured, raped , and not just once but many times, and you`re where ? "
Starsky said..." Handcuffed to the walls. Getting slapped and being made to watch. "
Getting alot more serious Starsky looked over towards Hutch and said " Listen Hutch, Even without looking, I would have known what was going on. After they were all finished, they walked past me ....smiling....smugly.....Gail was the last one they brought by me. And when I saw her.......I saw her spirit leave. She had no fight. Nothing was left. They took it all. "
So Hutch said to him, " Well, that`s great and all, that you know about her, but what about you ? " What did you see in you ? "
Starsky was left speechless. For a minute he had to think. Then he spoke....Quietly " I dunno Hutch. That`s a good one. "
Hutch asked him to look a little more at it. " Starsk, " he said " What did you think about yourself........? "
Starsky was trying to drive and think.
Hutch reached out and touched him....." It`s alright buddy. you gotta say it. "
Starsky said. " It`s that....Well ....I felt weak....powerless......worthless....Hutch...I`ve already said all this to A-------" With sudden realization, he stopped and took a breath.
" Oh My God Hutch.....That`s why I can`t....That`s why I won`t........" Starsky said.
Hutch just sat back and smiled. He could see the old Starsk coming out more.
Starsky spoke again, " Everytime I`m alone with Beth, I see.....Gail......And because I couldn`t protect Gail, I worry about Beth.... ? right ? "
Hutch agreed.
" That`s why I can`t .....If I do, I worry that I`ll be too rough. Man Hutch what am I doin` ? "
" Watchin` the road and driving for starters Starsk...." Listen Starsk, How can you blame yourself for something you yourself didn`t do ? "
Smiling he said " Ya know somethin` Hutch....You`re right. The blood in the shower this morning and my head being jerked back........It`s like it`s Simons Last ditch effort to control me....."
Hutch Just smiled. " Hey there buddy...don`t you have a date tonight ? "
Starsky glanced at his watch, 4:00 pm....Oh man, I gotta go home and get ready. "
Hutch said ," where you taking her ? "
" Oh.....I thought about that Italian pl..." He was interupted.....Hutch said " place on the other side of town.....right ? "
" How`d you know ? " Starsky asked.
" Because you Always take your dates to Italian res----"
" Are you trying to tell me something ? " Starsky asked.
Hutch just looked...." Between you and me Starsk.....I think you should order in tonight. Maybe things will be better. Only try not to think about it too much....Sometimes....thinking about it keeps it down....."
Starsky looked at Hutch and said " You know what ? buddy ?"
Hutch said " What`s that...? "
" You are definately not subtle........"
Hutch said " Listen, I think you better get me home........"
" Starsky said " Oh yeah....And why is that ? "
Hutch sat back and looked out the front window....." Ahhhh, I can think of one word .....Abby.."
Starsky said." Oh yeah.....Say hi to her for me and Beth.....? "

Tonight was special. Everything had to be perfect.
Everything.

THE OUTCOME / EPILOGUE

Chapter 34

After dropping Hutch off at home , David knew he had to get over to his place to call Beth and change the plans. He just knew that tonight was going to be great. Hutch`s idea about ordering in made perfect sense. He stopped off at his favorite Italian place and ordered dinner for two. and asked them to deliver. He paid them ahead of time so it wouldn`t interfere with the atmosphere later on. Next place was a good liquor store. David knew his wines. And his favorite was the reds. He picked up a nice Burgundy and headed straight home. Pulling into his driveway, he parked the Torino and made his way inside the apartment. He is very particular about the way he keeps things in his place. So having to do last minute clean-up jobs is not usually a problem. He had some things laying around, like the towel from this morning and such but in minutes it was cleaned right up.
He went over to the sofa and sat down . Reaching behind him he found the phone and he began dialing.
A few seconds later, a soft female voice answered the phone. " Hello ? " she asked. " Who is it ? "
David was feeling rather playful and said " My beautiful lady........It`s only me.....The man who stole your heart forever ....I hope ....... ".
" David ! " she said lovingly. " Aren`t you getting ready ? " she asked him.
" Well schweetheart....there`s been a slight change in plans.....Can you deal with that ? "
Beth answered " Sure .....so what`s the change....? " she asked.
David said " I think we`re gonna eat in tonight.....Okay ? "
Beth asked him " What are you up to David....? "
He said " You`ll see... Can you be over here by 7:00 ?"
Beth said " Sure thing....Do I have to bring anything.......? "
David thought for a moment, " No .....Just you. I`ve taken care of everything. And no need to dress up fancy. "
Beth said. " Well, I must have the best boyfriend in the world. I`ll see you at 7:00..."
David agreed and then hung up.
After getting in a quick shower and getting dressed , he came out and began to set the table. Wine was chilled, everything was set. Then he found some candles that he had put away and forgotten about. "These will be perfect " He thought. There were dozens of them....So he placed them all around the apartment. He lit them and saw that they created an incredible atmosphere of romance.
The doorbell rang and answering it found the delivery guy from the Italian place.
" Bring it right in here. " David said. As the guy stepped into the apartment, he saw the candles and all....He looked over at David and said " She must be some special lady......" David said " Sure is......" and he gave the guy his tip and said thanks. Sending him on his way, David shut the door and began to put the food out on the plates.
When he finished, he stepped back and looked at everything. " Beautiful, " he thought.
He was interupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing again. Looking at his watch, he realized that it was indeed 7 pm. " Well, there`s no turning back....now. " he thought.
When he opened the door, Beth was there. Looking beautiful as ever. She was wearing dark blue jeans with her favorite blue button down top. Her feet were adorned with white sneakers. Her hair was pulled back into a bun....not super tight because, there was a flower in it. A lightblue flower with pearl adornments.
He was stunned by her natural beauty. He reached his hand forward and asked her in. " Is this MY lovely lady ? " he asked.
Beth blushed a bit. " David.....Of course it is. " she said. Looking around his place she said, " Wow....Look at all the candles.......I love this....Looks like something out of the movies. "
David said " Thanks Beth, See what you`ve done to me. "
He led her over to the table where their dinner awaited and helped her to get situated. Bringing the wine over to her he said "Can I pour you a glass ? "
Beth said "Sure David. "
He smiled.
As the evening went on, dinner was done, dishes were washed and the young couple found themselves once again in the living room on Davids huge comfortable couch. They both had full glasses of wine and they were both intoxicated by each others presence.
Smiling warmly at each other, David broke the silence " Babe ? " he said.
" Yes ? " she asked back.
David sat up and looked at Beth, right into her eyes. " I need to say something to you."
Beth sensed the importance of this so she told him " Okay babe...I`m listening. "
David looked at her and took her hand in his. " You know Beth, I`ve wanted to be with you from when I first met you in the hospital. You looked after me, been there for all of the late night dreams. I can`t thank you enough for all of that. ....."
Beth interupted him, : David ? Aren`t you forgetting someone else ? "
David sssshhhed her. " You think I`m forgetting Hutch ? Right ? ....You`re forgetting that he has Abby ? Someone to hold in the middle of the night, Someone to make the pain go away. But yet someone that he could ravish. Someone that he could take the pain for too. You see ? " he asked.
Beth answered, " Well yes but I`m somewhat confused. "
He looked at her " I know that you are, give me a chance here...okay..."
She smiled..." Okay....go ahead. "
Continueing, he said " From the first time we kissed.....Well.....I`ve wanted to be with you. But I just couldn`t, I was afraid. "
" Oh David...." she said. " I`ve wanted you too. But I didn`t want to be pushy......I was afraid that I might have scared you away. "
David stroked her face. " Oh babe....you wouldn`t have scared me away......It`s like I said, I was the one who was afraid. "
Beth sounding concerned said, " Oh David, I guess it was worse than I thought...what you went through....... right ? "
David said " Yeah. Only I thought I could deal with it.......But that`s what makes it so diabolical. They just don`t hurt you in one way........Their effects are felt in every aspect of your life. "
" Oh David. " Beth said. " Please don`t feel like we have to...."
David stopped her. " Well, That`s what I wanted to to tell you. "
Moving in next to her, he reached for her chin and bringing it up so he could look
directly into her vulnerable eyes, he told he softly " Babe, I can`t let what happened back there......ruin what is happening right here. " He stroked her face and looked at her and told her how beautiful she is.
Beth just looked into his beckoning pools of indigo hue. What could she say ?
She lifted her hand and stroked his face too. Both met for their anticipated kiss.
Sometimes kisses can be soft and exploratory in nature yet give the appearance of passion yet unreleased. David and Beth were in the throws of one of these.
Minutes passed for the couple when Beth looked at her lover and said " David ?
Are you still okay ? "
David looked like he was drowning in a pool of passion. " C`mere....Beautiful lady..." he said as he grabbed his wine and Beth.
Beth got up taking her wine. " David ? "
Cut off before she could speak again, he brought her around and kissed her.
His kiss is soft and tender at first, but before long becomes passionate.
Releasing himself from their kiss, he asks " Beth ? I want to make love to you . "
Looking at him she says " And I want you to David. I`ve longed for that....."
She let him lead her into his bedroom. On the way, passing the sink, they left their wine glasses there. Now their hands were free, and for a second or two, right by the sink, the two ran their hands over each other. Kisses were more intense.
Now soft moans were audible.
" Beautiful.......Lady......." he said
" Magnificent .......... kisser ......" she said.
Inside the bed room, the two worked themselves over to the bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed he looked at her and said that she could undress him if she wanted to. She said " Only if you undress me after.....? "
" Deal " he said.
Beth moved closer to Dave and started first with his shirt. a red turtleneck sweater. " Come on David....Up with those arms..."
Davids arms came up. With the shirt over on the floor Beth got her first look at his chest. Black hairs.....Soft.....very soft....... She ran her fingers through them and kissed his chest until he moaned pure pleasure.
Next she went down to his feet. Taking his sneakers off and removing his socks, she found herself planting little kisses on his feet. Then kneeling right in front of him, between his legs, she ran her hands up his thighs brushing over his growing member right to the top button of his jeans. Unbuttoning his jeans and taking them off left him clad in only his black bikini briefs.
" David, you are one beautiful man. " she said. Getting up from the floor, she ran her hands back up his legs to his....very muscular.... upper thighs....He shuddered in prolonged ecstacy....." Oooohhhh...Beth...don`t stop...." he said reaching towards her.......
Beth looked at him and said..." Now...now.....don`t you want to have your fun....."
and she batted her eyes at him, just for a minute, like a schoolgirl.
David stared at her for a minute. he was fighting internally . But only for a minute.
Beth was a beautiful woman. Her figure impeccable. But first David looked up at the bun in her hair. " Well, now that I`m thinking about it.... I think ...This is the first thing to go.....Huh ? " he said.
Beth smiled.....
As David took the pin out of her hair, her soft brown locks fell downward.....
" She looks like a princess " he thought.
He liked long hair, it was exciting to him .
He did, like she did to him. He unbuttoned her shirt first. Revealing a navy blue bra, not too lacey, Just the sight of it nearly caused him to climax. " Beth....." he said breathing heavily.
" Babe ? are you okay ? " she asked nervously.
He looked right into her Hazel eyes and said as he calmed down, " Babe....I`m fine....I just......haven`t done this in a wh..."
Beth cut him off. " It`s okay,,,,,I know what you`re saying. Relax, Take it easy. I`ll be here. You okay to continue ? "
Nodding he continued his exploration . Before he unhooked her bra , he asked her if it was okay. She told him yes and off it came. He looked for a moment and took his hands gently, like feathers, he began to gently rub her breasts. His breath got deeper. " Mmmmmmm. " he moaned.
Beth said. " Hey there.....You have lots more to do David Starsky. "
He continued by sucking her breasts and placing gentle kisses down her chest right to her belly, moaning all the way.
And just like she had done to him, he knelt down on the floor in front of her and took her sneakers and socks off. Coming up her thighs, unleashed a low moan from her that indicated that he was pleasing her. " Please God...." he thought. "If you`re there...please no dreams.... "
At the top of her jeans, he unbuttoned them and he could see the matching panties. It drove him crazy. Beth got up on her own and he peeled her pants off her. right to the ground. She stepped out of them.
He stood up next to her and the lovers began their kissing and feeling. Hands never stopped moving. " Ohhh ...c`mon Babe.... " he said
Beth moaned and said " Ahhh.....David..... I need you ."

Inside of Davids head at that moment for a brief second he saw Gails face. Eyes looking crying out to him. Feelings of worthlessness and helplessness were creeping up on him trying to overtake him. Trying to immobilize him. Simon .....the vulgar perverted killer who became at one point Davids savior, and then went back to being the sick perverted killer that he is......it was him who was reaching to David . Through dreams and Images......Holding onto David using the images he saw while he was kept prisenor with them 6 months ago.

Only now, it was David who had creative control. David could chose his destiny,
and Simon had no voice.
And in the midst of the raw passion that was being expressed between him and Beth, David Starsky made his decision.......

David moved his hands down her sides and on the way down, he took her
navy blue panties. He brought them down to the floor and knelt back up on his knees. He looked at Beth and with her eyes she gave him the okay. Within seconds he went down on her. "Mmmmm David...." she said as she put her hands in his black locks. " Oohhhh ! " she melted.
David couldn`t get enough of her. She was so wet. Dripping....Her juices were running down her legs.
Beths moans were getting stronger and David wanted something special for both of them. Moving away, he said " I needcha babe. ....."
Beth`s eyes looked glazed over, like she was on drugs. Good sex will do that to you.
Beth stood naked before her lover and she saw his manhood was hidden behind his briefs. Looking over at him she said " I`m in a verrrrrry giving mood David, but I think we need to let him free.....Huh ? "
David agreed, but not before he and Beth shared another passion filled kiss. One that had Beth tasting herself all over Davids face.
She backed away from their kiss and gently touched his upper thighs. Matching her lovers moves on her, just moments before , she grabbed hold of the sides of his briefs and lowered them to the floor. Coming back up to her knees, she looked mesmerized for a moment. " David...." she said
"Yes Babe...." he said
" You are beautiful......." she said.
And without another word, she started to go to work on him. Slowly yet surely. She wanted to make sure that he had an absolutely magnificent experience.
She wasted no time in taking him completely in her mouth. His hands and fingers were entwined in her hair.
His breathing became more rapid.
As she came up from sucking him she`ld say " David....are you enjoying this ? "
He was close to coming but he didn`t want to. There was one thing he had to do for her.
He looked down at her and lightly pushed her away. " Beth.....wait....." he said
She looked at him and asked " David ? Is something wrong ? "
He smiled. " No Beth....Nothings wrong....." he took her over to the bed.
It`s just that....well....I want all of you....." he said.
She looked at him and said......" I`ve longed to hear you say that David Starsky."
" Well wait no more...." he said
She laid in his bed and stretched her arms out towards him. " Come here lover....."
David crawled into bed next to her and began to touch her. Beth responded by touching him with the same eagerness. Passionate kissing and feeling lead to more intimate expressions of love. Until the moment of truth.
David saw his lady. He saw her eyes, pleading for his help. she needed him to
get her release. He asked her if she was ready . She said yes. So he whispered into her ear that she was beautiful and how much he wanted her. She whispered back to him about how much she needed him and wanted him.
He was ready, and before entering her, he touched her clit to make sure that she was ready. When he was sure that she was ready, he went up between her legs and entered her.
" Mmmmmmm David...... Ohhhh !!! ....." Beth said.
David , being completely taken to a sexual plateau
said " ahhhhh..... Beth......Uhhhh !
He started out with slow long strokes. He couldn`t help being a little timid. Each time he`ld sink himself all the way in, he`ld slowly come back out. He handled Beth like she was fine porcelain. She was being driven wild. Finally she looked at him and said " David.....you don`t have to be so gentile........I can handle it if this gets a bit more lively. "
That was all he needed. He began to pick up the pace. He pulled himself up on both hands , with arms extended , and began to push harder.
The two lovers rocked that way for a short while because they were both close to coming.
Beth, underneath him , clung to the sheets " David.....David.....I`m...."
David above her and rocking hard, kept saying her name " Ohhh Beth...... Mmmmmph ! Beth..... I`m....gon....na....come......! "
Beth said " David....Come with me.....Come with.....me....."
David said " Let me know.....when.... "
Beth`s eyes said when and the two climaxed together as if it were their first time.

Both of their climactic cries could be heard. The passionate cries that mimicked the ones of first time lovers. It truly was a magnificent experience for the both of them.

In the afterglow of their encounter, David sat in bed and began to tear up a little.
Beth looked at him. " Sweetheart ? Are you okay ?" she asked.
David looked up at her, there was water flowing from his tearducts. " I`m gonna be. " he said. And as he nodded he said it again. " I`m gonna be. "

For David Starsky, this was the start of the end of the nightmares .....the ones from his recent past......and those from a decade ago.

For Beth it was the beginning of a relationship that was to remain close for a long time.

JULY 4TH 1977

A beautiful morning as usual. California at this time of year ran about 80 degrees in the morning hours. But for David Starsky, it didn`t matter. He was laying in his bedroom which was air-conditioned. His girlfriend had spent the night last night. After hours of passion filled love making sessions, the two were ready for a good breakfast.
Beth came in and said " C`mon sleepyhead, if we`re gonna be at the Dobeys for their little get together, you gotta get moving... "
David said " Well....If someone didn`t keep me up all night....then maybe I wouldn`t be so tired.....? "
" David Starsky....So naughty....this early in the morning ? "
"You know it Lady.... ! "

As soon as he had gotten out of bed, there was a knock at the door.
Beth called to him " David....Hutch is here ! Sit down Hutch,
you want some juice ? "
Hutch couldn`t believe it. " Beth ? " he asked " You have him eating eggs and bacon ? "
" Oh no.....It`s probably the only time during the day that I can eat normally.
He`s gonna take a while. " she said laughing.
" Hey, What`s in the box ? " she asked.
" Just something for Starsk. " I think he`ll like it..."
David walked in right at that moment. " What ? What do`ya think I`ll like ? Huh ? "
Hutch looked at his partner and said " Well partner, Since it`s the 4th of July, I figured I would get you something for this year , since we don`t have to work and all. "
David truly doesn`t like soapy scenes, and he could sense one coming on.
Sitting down he took the box and began to open it. Taking the cover off he saw what it was that his best friend had done.

4 TH OF JULY SURVIVAL KIT

1 set of 10 - 4 inch American flags
2 sets of patriotic streamers...for the "parade float"
assorted pins from the bi-centennial
1 bonified pair of patriotic Addidas sneakers...complete with stripe kit.
and 1 authentic white satin patriotic jacket.

David sat back. Overwhelmed.....wasn`t adequate. Overjoyed.......wasn`t adequate.......Taken back.........unbelievablly........
David got up. Going over to Hutch, he said quietly, " Thank you buddy "
That was all that was needed to be said. Hutch pulled him into a friendly
embrace.
" Hey.... I figure you need some new stuff. right ? " Hutch said.
David just looked over Hutch."..yeah....It`s great Hutch........You`re closer to me
than I am to Nicky. "
Hutch knew that.
" Hey listen, I gotta go. We`ll see you all over at Dobeys right ?'
" Yup.... I gotta call Huggy ....gotta remind him to make my cocktail...."
" Sure thing Starsk. " Hutch said. Then he turned around said goodbye to Beth
and took off for home.
No sooner did Hutch leave , there was another knock on the door.
Beth called from the kitchen, " David can you get that ?"
As he rounded the kitchen he planted a kiss on Beth and patted her butt.
" David !" she said.
Opening the door found Huggy Bear..... " Hey Huggy ....what`s up ? "
" Nothin` Starsky my man...nada....just came over cause I have a delivery.....from the likes of me...."
" A delivery ? For who....? " Starsky asked.
" For who ? ......For who you ask....For you my patriotic brother...
for you. "
Starsky looked a little taken back. " Come on Hug....You didn`t have ta..."
Shakin his head, Huggy said " Yeah, yeah, yeah....I know....But since I
luv ya so much, I couldn`t help myself... Come on Starsky....Open it up.....
This box was a bit shorter. But opening it up found something he was totally not expecting at all.
Taking them out of the box, and holding them up he asked Huggy, " Where in the heck did you find these Hug ? "
Beth was emerging from the bathroom when she spied David and Huggy...
" Good Mornin Fair Lady Beth....this here man treatin you right.. ? "
" Ahhh yes.....but Guys.....? What are those ? " she said laughing..."
Huggy answered, " Now Easy Beth...Don`t go ruining his sense of patriotism..."
David looked at Beth and said " That`s right.....I`ll have you know that these patriotic boxers are one of a kind . "
Beth smiled all the way over into the kitchen. " I want a fashion show later...."
Huggy just looked at them...Making his exit he said..." With that my friends, I`ve got ta go. See ya at Dobeys later ? "
Starsky and Beth said yes together and waved Huggy out, but not before Starsky reminded Huggy about his " Special Cocktail '
Huggy smiled and said " Yes my brotha....One Virgin Starsky on it`s way... See ya there. "

The party at the Dobeys house was small and intimate. Only Captain Dobey and his Family , Hutch and Abby , Starsky and Beth, Huggy and Diane.
The Dobeys are nice people. They fill a void in Starskys life that could never be filled by anyone else. They have become his family. Cal and Rosie are like his brother and sister. Rosie Dobey came out and gave David a picture. This time it was a picture of only Starsky and her. He had a tear in his eye. " Whatsa matta Uncle Dave...? " Rosie asked.
" Oh nothing honey. " David said...
" But momma said that ya neva have tears in your eyes for no reason...."
" Your momma`s a smart woman. " David said
" Uncle Dave ? " Rosie asked .
" Yes Rosie ... " David answered.
"Ya know what ? I don`t care if it`s nothin` or if it`s somethin`...You`re still my uncle Dave and I love you very much. "
David gave her a big hug. and thanked her.

Outside, Captain Dobey had donned his chef`s hat and began cooking the food.
" Dave. " he said
" Captain, Starsky answered.
" C`mere son. " The burly man said.
" Cap ? What`s up "
Captain Dobey was not accustomed to giving praises or compliments but in this case he couldn`t help it.
" Well Dave....I just .....want to tell.....you .....that what you`ve done over these 12 months... especially in these last few weeks.............Well, You should be proud.
Ya did good..."
Starsky said "Thanks Cap. I had alot of help though."
The captain looked at his detective....." Help or no help.......Starsky .........I`m glad you`ve come through it.
By this time ......Mrs. Dobey had begun to announce to everyone that the food was ready.
With that, all of the guests at the Dobey home made their way out onto the back deck.

Starsky moved over to the other side of the deck and found a chair to sit in.
Beth saw him from across the room. She waved seductively at him.
He smiled back.
Today was special alright. And David Starsky found himself outside, sitting alone.....only when he looked around, he wasn`t alone at all.

It was one year ago today, that this whole nightmare began. One thing is for sure, the lives of all of those involved in it would never be the same. David Starsky knew that. He still had alot of ground to cover but he knew that Aurora and everyone would help, and just knowing that made it a little easier.

As for the nightmares from a decade ago, well, they are finally being dealt with. Like Aurora said, A nightmare can never really go away, we just learn how to deal with it. In other words, we don`t fear it so much....because we know it`s only in our sub-conscience. Knowing that......well.....it speaks for itself.

But the one thing that David Starsky will never be able to forget is the Fox twins. ....Just two of the nine lives that were cut short by that murdering scumbag, Simon.
Thank God, He`s away. But if it were up to him....he would like an hour with Simon.....And he`ld start with his balls. It was`nt fair that Simon was allowed to be alive...even if it is in a prison cell. Nine people were dead......

" Hey Starsk ? ya gonna join us over here..." came Hutch`s loud mouth.
Re-gaining his composure quickly , as he had done so many times, he yelled back," Ya know Hutch ? I think I will. "

When David Starsky got up from his chair, he walked towards his future.....and away from his past.

And he never looked back.

THE END