Disclaimer: The characters
Starsky and Hutch and all that is associated
with the show do not belong to me. ( Too Bad !!!)
The song This War is over is not mine either, rats! but it certainly
fits this story! It is from the Melissa
Etheridge album " Your Little Secret" 1995 This story is being written
purely for entertainment purposes only. Any
Comments, be they good, bad, or indifferent are welcome...just e-mail me at
zbra3lam@yahoo.com
DEDICATION
I
wish to thank the following people for theit cards & words of encouragement regarding
my first story...Heaven can Wait.
First , as always, Maria Priest,virtual writing
friend who is correct when she says that when you write it is like someone
takes possession of you, Sue, and Paloma, who write here also, Theresa,
Cindy and last but not at all least, Brent. You guys gave me the encouragement
that I needed to move on ahead and write
this my second story. (This War is Over). I have to tell you that this is
a work in progress, so look for more chapters to be posted.
LAM
This War is Over
by
LAM
Prologue
take off
my shield
carry my
sword
I won`t
need it anymore
find me a
sky
give me
my wings
frozen
and broken but free
tell them
i`m alright
i`m
coming home
tell them
i`m alright
i am
alone
this war
is over
i`m
coming home
1995...your
little secret
melissa
etheridge
PART 1 : THE CATALYST
Chapter 1
David Starsky is a man of passion, whatever he was doing, his love for
it or his dislike for it was not easily mistaken. But things had changed. Simon
Marcos and all his freaks saw to that.
Hutch had seen Starsky on bad days.
But, These past few months well let`s just
say, it was like he was working with another person. His usually up-beat
partner had now clearly withdrawn into himself.
Work was just that...work. Starsky`s
mindset had changed. And Hutch didn`t like it.
Today, Things would change...or so he
hoped. He was going to talk to Dobey.
He`s always there early. Hutch
thought to himself.....". We gotta pull Starsk out of this." It was only
eight
, he thought if he could get in a quick shower he could be ready in no
time and be at the station an hour early. That would give him plenty of time to
tell Dobey what was going on. He would have to call Starsky though and let him
know not to pick him up. As soon as he
finished his elixir, he reached for the phone , dialing his partners number ,
he just sat back in the chair and waited.
Ring..... Ring.........Ring...........Ring.........
"Come on Starsk , not awake yet ? " he chuckled to
himself...That was the one thing that Marcos and his goons didn`t change, he
didn`t think anybody could. On the other
end he finally heard the
pick-up.....then he heard the phone drop....."aaawwww ...... h-o-l-d...
o-n".....came the mumbling sound of his partner. Starsky wasn`t even awake
yet when he heard the phone ring...He reached over to the phone and knocked
over the clock that was there. He
thought he had a good hold on the phone,
but ...there it went...down to the floor....." damn" he
thought "Who the hell could be
calling me so damn early, and what the hell did they want?" "
H-e-l-l-o? "
"Goooood Mornin` Gordo!"
"H-u-t-c-h? This betta be good!" was
all the half awake man could say.
" I thought I would call you and tell
you that you don`t have to come pick me up this mornin`. I`m up and I`m gonna
go in a bit early and try to get a head start on the day. I`ll see ya at eight
Okay? "
"Hutch?" Starsky said..."
D` ya have any idea what time it is?"
" Ah Yeah ...I do...
"Yeah
Hutch cut him off..." Hey!, All I
wanted to do is to let you know that you could sleep in for a few extra
minutes...I`ll see ya at eight...ok?"
"Yeah ...ok. See you at eight."
Hutch went to hang up the phone ,when he
heard Starsky say.
" Hutch?"
" Huh?"
"Thanks. "
"Yeah, thank me later Gordo, When
you`re awake." Hutch laughed a bit and then hung up the phone.
Chapter
2
APRIL 1977
Hutch pulled up to the station at
"Morning Hutch!" was all he
heard. He knew that voice alright !
" Hey Good Mornin` to you Minnie.
" Where`s that good lookin` partner of yours?" she asked.
" Sleepin` in" was all Hutch
could say.
Minnie stopped just shy of the doors and took hold of
Hutch`s right arm...
" Hey?... How`s he holding up? "
Hutch knew Minnie....... but she and
Starsky went way back. He helped her
when she first came on the force. Never dated though...They liked the
friendship thing...Starsky used to say that Minnie was like the kid sister he never had.
They were always joking around though,
just as though they were.
" You know Minnie......I don`t know.
I used to be able to read his signals, but now..."
Minnie interupted....." I know
honey...I see it too. What does Dobey say? "
"
Well, that`s where I`m headed Minnie. I`m hopin` that between the two of
us we can find a way to bring him back."
Minnie just looked into Hutch`s
eyes..." If there were anyone who could do it, it would be you two."
"Thanks Minnie."
" Just keep me updated . Ok? Oh and
when you do see him...Tell him I miss him. Ya` know?"
Hutch knew exactly what Minnie meant by
that..."I will Minnie...I will."
With that Hutch opened the door for
Minnie... He made a passing gesture with his right hand to which he said "
After you?" to which Minnie smiled and replied
"Thanks Hutch."
Once inside the precinct, Hutch made his way to the office. As he was walking down the hallway, he passed
another officer that both he and Starsky
knew.."Hey Bernie, Dobey in
yet? "
"Yeah Hutch. Just passed him a few
minutes ago."
"Thanks Bernie."
"Sure thing." Bernie said as he
waved his hand in acknowledgement.
Hutch hurried along his way. His
destination, upstairs to the third
floor. Once on the third floor, He shot
through the double doors.The squad room was the first door on the right hand
side. Once inside the squad room he went
straight over to Dobey`s office , which was the big door on the left.
The door was shut, so he knocked "
Captain? " he said
He opened the door shortly after he
knocked, and with a big smile he said
"Cap?. Gotta minute?"
"
Hutch entered Dobey`s office and pulled up
one of the chairs to the desk.
Dobey looked at his young officer and
noticed the look of concern on his face. He had his suspicions on what the
young man was gonna want to talk about. Yet he had to wait with baited breath
for Hutch to confirm them.
" Well cap, ...you...see...ah"
"Well out with it son! "Dobey
said.
Hutch looked sick, and with a twisted
queezy look he glanced up at Dobey and said " Okay, ...It`s Starsky."
There he had done it now..... You see, anytime there was a problem
between him and Starsky they could always talk it out. But this time...they couldn`t. Starsky had put up walls. Walls
that were at least ten feet high and just as thick. Hutch knew that what he had
done was for Starsky`s own good , but still , he had this sick feeling
inside....like he was Judas or something..... betraying his best
friend....and....their friendship.
He thought
again for a minute " Not this time buddy. I can`t sit by and watch
you throw your life away. I love ya`
that much. "
Chapter
3
Captain Dobey is a large black man.
Weighing in at around 225lbs, he
was sitting behind his desk enjoying his rather big breakfast. He
stopped for a moment to look at Hutch. He knew there was more to this, and
wanted to give Hutch the time he needed to say it right. Now, he knew these two guys just as well as
he knew his own son, and to him... they had become just that.
Hutch moved forward in his chair, leaning
his forearms on his thighs with a puzzled look
on his face he shook his head and spoke "Ever since that lousy
Marcos incident Cap! He just goes
further and further away from me ...into himself. It`s like he`s at war
cap! But
this war is being fought in his own territory and he won`t even let his allies help. I don`t know how to pull him out of it. I
kept tellin` myself that he`ld get better..... you know ..with time? But ....it`s been 3 months now and ....I
don`t know cap. ...I think he`s gotten worse. "
Dobey sat back in his chair, as he remembered the horrified look on Starsky`s face that
morning when they found him....how, almost at the moment Hutch touched
him,....he found the release that he so
desperately wanted......no....needed. Dobey thought for a moment.....about the report that
Starsky filed and while he knew it was thorough enough for division ... he thought..... maybe there were some details
that Starsly left out ...just out of pure embarrassment. Hutch said " Cap?
"
Dobey shifted his head and said
"Well , I thought about taking him off the roster for a
few days... but I am wondering now. Maybe he needs something more...but , something
like that might add to his mindset.
I`ll have to call down to Aurora
Madisons office. If there is anyone in the dept. that could advise me on how to
handle this, it would be her. "
Aurora Madison is the Bay City Police
Department Psychologist. She is a young woman who has been with the
department for only about a year.
" Thanks cap, any help at this point
would be great, and if she wants to talk with me , I`ll be in the squad room ." With that Hutch stood up and reached out his hand towards Dobeys. Both men
shook hands and Dobey, seeing the
saddness on Hutch`s face said in a lower and more genteel voice " Don`t
worry son, we`ll get him through this. " Hutch gripped the Captains hand a bit tighter for a moment and then let
go. He deftly, picked up the chair he
was sitting in and returned it back to where he had gotten it from. On his way out of the office he turned around
and saw Dobey reaching for the phone.
"
Dobey here...... get me Aurora Madisons office! " The anxious tone
in Dobeys voice filled Hutch with the
reassurance that Starsky would get the
help he needed... But still he
wondered.......
Hutch sat at his desk in the squad
room, trying to finish up reports from
the day before, but he couldn`t. The best he could do right now was to keep a close watch on the clock. It was
The door to the Captains office flung open and there
stood Dobey...... He had that look on his
face ..."Hutch!" he
said as he made a motion with his left hand to join him in the office Without
question Hutch got up from his chair and
joined Dobey in his office. " So
what`s the verdict? "Hutch said as he sat down. Dobey came back around his desk ,placed the
files he was holding, down, and leaning
into the desk with his hands
resting on the edge, he breathed a heavy
sigh, "You know son, Miss. Madison
asked me to consider asking him to take a short leave of absence with
the stipulation that he get counseling from someone. She said it looked to her as if our man is at
war with his psyche...and he`s losing. " Hutch was frozen, You know
...even though Hutch heard and understood what that meant, he hated what the
reality of that meant . It certainly confirmed his suspicions...but knowing
Starsky as well as he did...didn`t help. He thought " What the hell else
could have possibly happened in that
damn zoo...and why didn`t Starsky say anything about it? " Inside himself
at that moment Hutch was waging his own war.....He knew Dobey was right but he put himself in his partners place and he felt betrayed. Dobey saw Hutch`s face and came around from
his desk "Son" he said, if there
was any other way...." Hutch`s emotions took over as he
interupted...." God Cap! Did`nt
you tell her about our concerns?" Hutch asked. Dobey jumped back at
him "Alright now
Okay . Okay."said Hutch....... He
started to get defensive. Hutch got up
from his chair and began to
pace.....back and forth...back and forth....He couldn`t believe what he
had just heard...." A short leave
of absence! ..... counseling....forget it ! They can`t ask you to ASK him to
consider somethin` like that.. hell ...I would`nt even ask him.......he would
never go for it. They would have to
knock him out and put him in restraints. " As he paced he stopped
somewhere in the middle of the room .... Lifting his right hand and pointing
his finger at the Captain, Hutch looked him straight in the eye and said "
That is just plain ludicrist Captain! ....... and you know it."
Dobey , Looking a bit confused,
focused right back on the young
detective and said...."
"So...Dobey resumed, " where is that partner of yours?" He`s
due in here any minute now and When he
gets here I want the both of you in my office!
You got that? " Hutch looked
up at Dobey, nodded, and walked out.
Chapter
4
As Hutch
exited the captains office with his mind obviously preoccupied with the conversation that had just occurred . He
entered the main part of the squad room and
almost knocked Starsky right on his butt. Still, Internally, Hutch was waging his own
war ...knowing Dobey was right...but still being mad at him..... Cursing Marcos
and his goons. Hell He was mad at the world...but mostly at himself......"
What the hell was I thinkin? It`s always
been me and thee." The fact that he
thought he had betrayed his best friend
filled his heart , His head hung
low........
"
Whoa...Hutch? Starsky said. as he reached out towards him. " you okay ?"
" Dobey wants us in his office "
Hutch said. Starsky asked again.....
" `s
everything okay?" Hutch`s
eyes scanned the squad room, he couldn`t look directly at his friend
....... " No. Not really Starsky
not really.."
Upon hearing the brief exchange of words
between his top two detectives, Dobey said" Starsky! Hutchinson! Get in
here you two." Dobey`s voice bounced off the squad room walls just like a
ping pong ball on a hot table. The two
detectives stopped, looked at each other and entered the office ...Starsky
first, followed closely by Hutch, but only one of them knew what was coming
down. " Sit down you two......Now!.
And close the door
Dobey and Hutch`s eyes met, " Sit down Starsky." Dobey said.
Starsky had this unsettling feeling in his
stomach.....and now as he looked at the two people that he considered to
be his closest friends...in his mind he
was starting to put the pieces together.
" First you....." he said pointing over to Hutch. ....you call me at
five thirty this mornin`, tellin` me you`re comin` in to get a head start .Then
I get here and you`re walkin` outta Dobey`s office like you been hit with a
bat......."
Hutch interupted " Come on Starsky,
sid-down will ya? "
As Hutch went to grab for Starsky`s arm ,
He felt it being pushed away, He knew that he was gonna get this kind of
reaction from Starsky but nonetheless , it still hurt. "No way!"
Starsky said angrily. " Anything `s gonna be said, it can be said while
I`m standin! Now what the hell`s going on?
David Starsky was tough. Between the N.Y. streets and the L.A. streets
he had learned that no-one was going to look out for him so he had to do it
himself....Survival...it`s the law of the streets. But he wasn`t on the streets
now......he was supposedly in a place
where he thought he was safe and
protected... a place he thought was his
home turf, a place where betrayal would ...and should...never happen...but as
he stood there waiting....for an answer something suddenly felt wrong....very
wrong......A deafening silence filled the room....
Just then Starsky hit the desk with his
hands, which were now tightly clenched
fists. Looking at Hutch first then Dobey he said " Damnit! either one of
you gonna talk to me?" Hutch snapped right out of the trancelike state he
was in...." Okay ..Okay...Just sit down..."
Starsky didn`t like it but defiantly he
did. Dobey came around the front of his desk and looking Starsky straight in
the eyes he asked " You doin` ok?"
" Yeah? why?" he answered. Dobey
went to say something and before he could.... Starsky stood up
once again and interupted:, he raised his eybrow and pointed his finger
at Hutch while walking towards him and in a cocky tone that only he could
produce , he said
"Oh ....I know what this is all
about! " ......I`ve been too quiet....and YOU think I lost my
concentration! Right?"
Hutch was starting to lose his patience
now...he started to get up out of the chair and
looking his partner straight in the eye he started to speak... but
before anything could come out Starsky
interjected...
" No......No......No, there was that
cocky tone again.. ...you can`t tell me that I`m wrong on this one Hutch ! "
" Starsky! Damnit! " Hutch
said..." While you`re wavin` your finger at me ...look at the
facts.....You don`t talk, You don`t eat,
you don`t even joke around anymore........Somethin`s got to ya."
" Oh , you want all that? I
can....."
It was clear now, Hutch had his opportunity..moving in on Starsky with
his finger raised and his eyes wide open he said " See...there you go again...Starsky, I`m not
your enemy. I`m concerned...that`s all!
"
" All right you two! " Dobey
said as he stepped in between the two men... "Knock it off! " He made
a gesture like a referee with his hands signaling the two to go back to where
they were. " That`s enough."
Turning towards Starsky , he looked at him
and said " Look Starsky, IF what
Hutch told me is right , then he has a
right to be concerned. And after what I have just witnessed I have to admit
...I can`t take that chance."
" Capt..?."
Dobey continued " Shut up and listen! Detective. I
ain`t finished yet! I`m takin` you off
the rost..."
Dobey didn`t even get to finish his
sentance. " SUSPENSION !!!
" Starsky yelled while flailing his
arms in the air....." C`mon Cap? " he continued. " I can do my
job ! Don`t take that away from me too."
Hutch was bracing himself for what he knew was coming, only he was`nt really ready. Starsky quickly turned around & grabbed Hutch`s
shirt collar and brought him hard against the wall, Hutch did nothing.
" Hey Buddy? What did ya tell him ?
Huh?" Starsky said as he held Hutch against the wall.....He started to
shake Hutch the same way he shook some of the criminals on the street. "
C`mon Hutch ...whacha say? Starsky`s not the same? Marcos fucked him up? What? "
" STARSKY !!!!! " Dobey said..." Sit down! Let go of Hutch
and Sit down! "
Angrily
he let go of his partner...but he couldn`t sit so he paced....and paced.
"
I `m suspending you! You got that ?
!' Dobey said. And there are stipulations!
" What?" Starsky said. "
You heard me." Dobey said..." You` re gonna talk to someone. And I`m
gonna see to that."
Starsky`s movements were slowing down...He
was desperate now . He didn`t want to talk ...didn`t want to remember....He was
breaking down. Taking quick glances at Hutch and Dobey while pacing he sighed
deeply.
He moved over towards Hutch...."C`mon
buddy? " reaching out his hand towards Hutch, he said "Can`t you see that all I need is
time.... tell him Hutch! just a little more time....I can do this..."
Hutch`s heart was breakin`...."Damnit
Starsky ...don`t do this to me." he
said. He was fighting to keep back his tears, only this time it
wasn`t so hard.... Now he knew that he was right. He absolutely couldn`t stand by and watch his
partner fade away.
" C`mon Hutch...you`re supposed to be
my friend...." Starsky said.
" I am your friend Starsky ...
If I wasn`t ...I`ld have let you go. " Hutch said.
Starsky
turned and walked away from Hutch.
' Yeah right. " was all he could say.
While all this was goin` on Dobey had been
on the phone with Aurora Madison...." Okay Miss Madison....He`ll be there
and I`ll get his file to you right away. " and with another pause he said
" thank you too." After hanging up the phone he walked over to
Starsky with a small peice of paper in his hand. Reaching out and handing him
the paper he said" Okay Starsky, You got an appointment with Miss Madison Tomorrow
morning at
Starsky just looked over at Hutch and then
back at Dobey, " And what might that be Cap`n ? " he asked a bit
defiantly.
Dobey hesitated at first.....I`ll need
your badge....... and your gun......
Starsky was devestated....but not enough
to overcome the raging war that was inside him. He walked over towards Dobey`s
desk, as only he could. He reached for his holster and pulled out his gun. Once
in his hand he began to take it apart and put it peice by peice on the
desk.....Okay Cap! since you and Hutch here seem to think this is the only way.
" Here ....you.....go.....", and with each one of those words he
slammed another peice of his gun down on the desk. Next he reached around to
his side and undid his holster and threw that on the desk too. Finally his
Badge.....opening his wallet he looked down at it. He remembered what it looked
like when he saw it for the first time.
He remembered when his father
died. He remembered the pride in
his mothers eyes when she saw her son wear it for the first time at graduation. So now,
taking it from it`s position , he held it tightly in his hand, just for
a second...and then as if departing with a dear friend he opened up his hand and placed it on the desk. He started to leave when Hutch got
up and came towards him........" Starsk?" he said
The curly headed detective just looked at
him....throwing his hands in the air with a look of disgust he said " awww
...what do you know?
Hutch wasn`t surprised by what Starsky
said.
What do you know about how this feels?
Huh?
I
hope you were watching....listening...buddy...because...what you did here,
today..was take away everything in my life that ever meant anything to
me." Hutch said " C`mon
Starsky, you don`t really mean that ."
" Oh yeah? " Even though he knew what Hutch had
just said was right, he could`nt stop
all of the negative emotions that had taken possession of his heart and mind.
He opened the door and stopped....
looking back , he turned towards Hutch and said " Take a good look at
yourself buddy ?
What do you see? How do ya feel?" Hutch
couldn`t answer.....Defiantly Starsky said..."Can`t answer me can ya? I
didn`t think ya could! " With that Detective Sargeant
David Michael Starsky, turned and walked out of the station and ....
away from his life.
After the door was pulled shut, Hutch and Dobey just stood
there looking at each other......" Well , don`t just stand there
Before Dobey was finished Hutch was
already out the door. He turned around though and re-entered Dobey`s office and
said
" You got it Cap! "
PART 2 : THE REACTION
This War is Over
by LAM
1/2001
take off my shame
bury it low
i won`t need it anymore
find me the sun
and give me it whole
melt all the chains in my soul
tell them i`m alright
i`m coming home
tell them i`m alright
i am alone
this war is over
i`m coming home
melissa etheridge (your litle secret)
1995
Chapter 5
Starsky already
had a pretty good lead on Hutch. Anger
can add
lightning speed to a persons gait. As he
walked down the hallway ,he could feel the stares from the others...but he kept
right on going..
"I`ll show
you all! " he thought.
Now, as Hutch exited Dobeys office, he caught
a glimpse of Starsky going through the double doors at the end of the
hallway..." Starsky! " Hutch shouted. " wait up." Starsky just kept moving as if he didn`t even
here his partner. " Starsky? Hold up will ya?"
Hutch had pretty
much caught up to his partner now, but he still wasn`t getting any response. By
now there were a few fellow officers standing around watching their exchange
but as Hutch began to descend on them he stopped , just for a second, and turning around gazing at them said with a
wave of his hand " What the hell are ya`ll looking at ? Don`t you people
got somethin` else to do?... and with the sudden realization that Starsky had
disappeared from view, Hutch quickly resumed his quest to get to his
friend. Within a minute or two he had
caught up to Starsky who was outside the station now, and called out to
him yet again. "Starsky! Come on? Can`t I explai----
Starsky turned
abruptly and interrupted....." explain? what`s to explain Hutch? You heard
Dobey! I`m out. Okay? Are ya gonna stand there and tell me that you did this
for my own good ? Huh ? Go to hell
partner."
" Oh come on
Starsk! " Hutch said. " You don`t really mean that.......do you
?"
Starsky had now
turned away and tried to hide his frustration." Damnit Hutch. You don`t
know.....You don`t know what I went through...Those pe...oh hell, who am I
kiddin`. Those Animals....They`re
sick.......and workin` here with you... well
I needed that..... but now even that`s gone.
Starsky was
looking pale. he stood there and shook his head, looking down towards his feet
he murmured " so much for the me and thee thing....huh?
Hutch was getting
angry." How dare you say that." he said . He reached out and took
hold of Starsky`s arm abruptly to get his attention, and pulled at him and pointing
his other finger in his face , he said
" Hey Buddy...." you better remember one thing, you`re right,
I don`t know what you went through...but that my friend...that isn`t my
fault.....you won`t talk."
Drawing back his
arm and putting it down at his side Starsky spoke " Well pal, we won`t
have to worry about that now will we ? " And with that he turned around
and headed straight for his car. Starskys defiant tone made Hutch`s blood boil.
He hated it when Starsky got like that. It`s those walls again...10 feet high
and just as thick, and getting thicker with each defiant statement. Hutch stood
there for a second throwing his keys up and down in his right hand . Finally he
decided that there was no point trying to talk to Starsky...he had shut down. Starsky reached his car first. He stopped.
He could hear Hutch`s footsteps heading off towards his own car and now he was
wondering if what he had said was too much...He wanted to look up ...wanted to
say sorry. Hell, he knew that ninety percent
of what Hutch had said and done truly was for his own good...But he couldn`t....Anger
and frustration consumed him......He fumbled a bit with his keys but managed to
unlock his door and get in.Tucking the keys in the ignition and giving them a
quick turn, the torinos engine roared . Starsky sat there for a moment with his
head hangin down "What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?" All alone
there in his car even his own mind betrayed him but he couldn`t see that. He
pulled out the paper that Dobey gave him and read,
10.00am Miss.
Aurora Madison.
He crumpled it in
his hand and threw it into the dash, watching it as it landed on the floor.
Then ,again with clenched fists, he hit
down hard on the steering wheel......his emotions were playing a wicked game
with him and he was losing
"Son-of-a-bitch!
" he said " Why me?" And
with that he lifted his head , put the car in gear and took off. Where
to.....who knew. And anyway who cared.
Hutch watched
from his own car, as his best friend sped off. There he went...right in front
of him...no look...no wave...not even the perverbial Starsky glare..." Why
can`t he see..... what he`s doin` to himself ?" Hutch thought..."And
how the hell am I gonna pull him out of this? " Placing his keys into the
ignition, he too gave them a turn and his engine roared. Hutch placed his car
in gear , stepped on the gas and headed out ....He thought "
Starsky...you`re gonna have to give in somtime ....I just hope I`m there when
you do."
Chapter 6
Huggy Bear Brown
was the owner of The Pits, a little bar and grill in town. He was not the usual
management type. Tall and thin, this black man has a definate flare for the
ladies....and he dressed in threads that made rainbows look dull. But that`s
what makes him who he is. Starsky and Hutch have known Huggy for years. He is
their " man on the streets" if you will. Their voice in the
darkness.....their informant. Huggy
didn`t mind though, he wasn`t messin with anything or anyone. He is
entrepinaurial in character so there`s nothin he hasn`t tried once, or is
willing to try. But his main source of income came from The Pits. It was about 8.30 am and Huggy was
inside cleaning up when he heard the phone
ring...Runnin` over to it he picked it up and said " The Pits. this is
Huggy and it betta be good."
"Huggy. This
is Hutch..."
"Hey Hutch.
Whatz happnin` my brother."
" Oh nothin`
you seen my partner there? "
"No man.
Ain`t nothin` here this early `sept me
and my cleanin rags...whatz he up to?"
" Don`t know
...that`s why I`m callin` you. Listen
Hug if you see him......."
Huggy cut him off
" Hey Hutch? Whatz da word on him man?..."
" Why`dya
ask?"
" That dudes
been really weird lately..... you dig?
Can`t figure him out. Lotta people don`t wanna mess with him...He`s got
some empty look in his eye...ya know."
After what had
happened this morning Hutch understood completely what Huggy was sayin`.
"Hutch ...ya
there?"
" Yeah
Huggy..I`m here...listen if you see him or get a line on where he is ... can
you call me right away? "
" Hey Hutch.
You know I will. You guys are like
" Blood " to me....
" Thanks
Huggy. I`ll check in later. "
Hutch returned
the phone to it`s proper place and stepped out from the phone booth. He thought
for a minute. He had checked the apartment, the gym, even the deli where he
knew his partner got his coffee. But no sign of Starsky. Now what? " I`ll
go home. Maybe he`s come back to his senses. He usually comes to me when he`s
hurtin...even if we don`t agree.... "
Giving himself a
reassuring nod, he hopped into his car and headed straight for home.
Home for Hutch is a quiet canal front
cottage ,of sorts. A small white picket fence outlined the front yard. As Hutch
pulled up, he noticed his partners car was not there. Disappointed, he parked in his usual place, shut the engine
down, exited the car and headed for the door. Once inside , he headed right to
the phone. " I gotta call Dobey. " he thought. " He`ll want to
know what`s going on. With the phone in his hand he noticed the clock, 9.17.
"Damn." he thought With that he was interupted...
"Metropolitan
Division Bay City PD. How can I direct your call? "
" Yes , put
me through to Captain Dobeys office on the 3rd Floor."
" Hold on
and I`ll connect you. "The kind voice said on the other end.
Hutch said"
Thank you. " and within a minute he heard Dobey`s voice..
" Dobey
here."
" Captian,
it`s Hutch."
" So where
is he?"
Hutch knew Dobey
wasn`t gonna be pleased at the fact that he didn`t know where Starsky was, so
he had no choice ..." Well ...I don`t know cap."
" Were`nt
you supposed to be following him? " Dobey screamed.
Shakin` his head
and pacing Hutch said "I lost him
before we even got going. But I got
Huggy lookin too. He`ll turn up.
"
" I hope so Hutchinson ! "
" Don`t
worry Cap. He`ll come around.....I`ll call ya later." And before Dobey
could say anything else Hutch hung up the phone.
Chapter 7
At 9.30 in the morning, there wasn`t much
that he could do, so Det. Sgt. David Starsky continued to drive. He was headed
somewhere but he didn`t know just yet where it was. He couldn`t go home , Hutch
would catch up with him there and he couldn`t go to Huggy`s because he knew
Hutch had already gotten to him. Even though he was free now, he was still a
captive to his thoughts. He couldn`t erase the words that were spoken to him
just a short while ago. And he couldnt erase the emotional roller coaster ride
that he had been on for the last 3 months... He knew driving was probably
the last thing that he should be doing,
but he continued on anyway. His head was throbbing from a stress headache, He
was dead dog tired. Even though he was sleeping when Hutch called this morning
he had only closed his eyes a short half hour before the call, after all , the
nights had not really been kind to him. He was averaging no more than 2 hours
of sleep a night, to which he had Marcos` clan
to thank. And now add the fact that he was suspended! "Jesus
Christ." he thought to himself "what the hell else could go
wrong?"
BEEEEEEP! "
Shit! " he said. He turned the wheel sharply back to the right. "A fucking truck! " The striped
tomato has good response. He was off onto the right hand side of the road in no
time. As the truck passed him, the
passenger flipped him off and said " Hey buddy! Wanna sleep? do it in a
bed! "
Starsky knew he
was right so he decided he better get somewhere before he really hurt someone.
He looked around as he was getting ready to go and to his surprise there beside
his door was a young woman. She was about 5` 6" tall, weighed about 162 lbs,
and had medium length brown hair. She was wearing a nice pair of levis with a
blue turtleneck sweater that really had no secrets. On her feet were a pair of
royal blue Addidas sneakers. He had met
his match. Quickly he rolled down his
window Looking over his sunglasses he
said "Can I help you? "
She flashed him a
quick smile, gave a whispy toss to her
hair and pulled up her sunglasses so they rested on top of her head.....
"Ah...I
think that question should be reversed don`t you? she said smiling.
Starsky started
to blush. " ha ha ha Oh you mean
this..." refering back to his situation.
"Well I saw
you drive off the road after that truck almost hit you and I figured I`d stop
and see if everything is ok....So is it?"
Starsky just
gazed at her...snapping out of it he said " Huh?"
" Is
everything ok?" she said again smiling.
" Oh
sure...I`ve had a rough night and I`m a bit tired....that`s all."
"Hey
listen...you look like you can use a rest. You should get home and take a
nap."
" Well, I`ld
like to but...."
Here was his
chance....If he could talk her into letting him stay at her place then Hutch
wouldn`t be able to find him...and he wouldn`t have to go back ...to any part
of the last 3 months.
He looked up at
her and continued" well, ahhh ...you see......"
" It`s
Anne..okay?"
"O kay......
Anne, I`m kinda new here in town and I
don`t have a place yet."
" Hey I know
what that`s like...."
As she shifted
her weight from one side to the other, one hand moved to her hip and the other
one moved towards her chin.
In the next
breathe she said, " Listen. Why
don`t you come back to my place? You could get that nap you`re needing and
freshen up. Then we`ll take it from there...okay?"
"
Dave...Dave Starsky. ahh...I don`t want to impose Anne..."
She
interupted...."No imposition at all
Dave. It`s settled. Just follow
me and I`ll get you to where you can rest."
"Hey .
Thanks...Anne." he said.
He rolled up his
window and waited as she got into her car.......Once inside, she signaled to
enter the lane and began to drive...he
followed in right behind her
Authors Note :
This part of my story deals with a sexual
situation. If you find this material offensive,
you might not want to read it.
LAM
Chapter 8
Hutch was still at his place thinking
about the mornings events. He hated seeing his partner suffer like this. Hell
if he`d been shot or somethin` at least you could see the wound and watch it
heal, but this...this pain came from something that was completely invisible,
untouchable... and he was clueless about how to deal with it. " If only
you had talked to me Starsky.....I could have helped.." Now I`m
frustrated...and helpless.
Yes. Frustration
and helplessness. now there are two words that Hutch thought he would never hear. This time he has
to trust.......trust his instincts about Starsky. His partner and best friend.
" Where ever you are pal, I`m not lettin` go that easy."
6.00pm! Could it be? Starsky stirred on
the bed .....His surroundings were unfamiliar...." what the hell?"
"Oh you`re
awake sleepyhead." Anne said as she stood in the doorway.
His memory was
slowly coming back....."Anne?"
" Yes it`s
me. How ya feelin`?"
" Have I
been asleep all this time?"
" Yes Dave.
You have."
"What`s that
I smell?"
" Just
dinner. Steak, potatos and green beans. Are you up for some?"
"Well......
Yeah.....but ...you didn`t have to go through all this trouble..."
" C`mon
Dave, It`s no trouble at all. I figure you`re gonna need to replenish that
energy level of yours. Right?"
Looking shyly at
her he said "yeah you`re right."
"Okay then.
I`ll be in the kitchen finishing up. While I`m
doing that, you can get in a shower and
get dressed...and by the time you come out , dinner will be ready." With that, she turned around and headed
back into the kitchen. When she was gone Starsky shut the door and started to
get ready for his shower.
There was a shout
from the kitchen " By the way Dave, There`s a toothbrush on the counter.Shampoo`s in the
closet and towels are already out for ya. Bathroom is the second door down on
the right. Okay?"
From the bedroom where he was he said" Anne
..you`re terrific."
So off he
went.
About 20 minutes
later he appeared from the bathroom...refreshed and clean. He stood at the
entryway of the kitchen bare-chested
wearing only his jeans,socks and sneakers...
"Are you
sure they are yours?" she said laughing about the sneakers.
"Yeah I`m
sure."
" Hey."
she said,. " It`s pretty weird that we both like Addidas...wouldn`t you
say?"
" Yeah , and
even weirder still that we like the same food....Boy schweetheart, that sure
smells good." His Bogey was getting better.
" Bogey
Huh?....You`re good."
" Thanks
" and with that he popped the black sweatshirt over his head.
" You like
wine? It`s red..." she asked.
" Sure ."he said. Anne had
been looking at him while she had the wine in her hands. She turned towards the
counter opened up a a drawer and pulled out the corkscrew. As she opened the
bottle she said " You look like you could eat a horse. Dinner will be just
one minute..."
He looked at her
and asked " You want me to pour
that ? "
As she handed him
the bottle, she responded with a warm " sure "
All of the days
events were non-existant now, and he was glad.
"Anne, you
know something ?......... I don`t
understand."
" Dave , you
don`t have to...finish pouring that and sit down. Okay?" she said.
" Okay .
" he said .
As he finished
pouring their wine, he placed the bottle of wine down on the table.
continuing he said "
Will you excuse me ? "
"For what ?'
she asked.
Anne was
captivated by his indigo eyes...they were hypnotic., intense.
" For
this..." he said.
He came up to
her, extended his hand out to her chin and drew her face upwards towards
his.....and he kissed her. She did not
resist his advance. Instead she welcomed it....as they stood there totally
enveloped in their kiss, which was intensifing....... she withdrew, just for a
moment, and stepped back... she whispered " Hey. I just want you to know
that I don`t usually do this ...."
He stood before
her and said in a whisper.." Wha.......What don`t you do?"
He took a step
forward and took her in his arms and began kissing her again. Her hands were free and began to encircle his
waist. The kiss grew more intense. His hunger feeding her soul. Her soul devouring his hunger. The hands that were
wrapped around her hips had begun moving upwards. Cupping her breast through her shirt brought about a soft moan
from her mouth. Just enough of a moan to allow him to extend his tongue deep into her moist mouth.
Like the fallen leaves on a windy autum day, their tongues swirled
around each others mouthes. Their hands were constantly moving across each
others bodies. He moved with her as she
glided him across the floor to the living room sofa. Slowly they descended onto
the cushions. It seemed as though, for both of them, it was their first time.
The way they were touching and exploring
each and every inch of flesh. Like
children discovering new things, their intensity increased. They were
singleminded and focused. Desire filled
him. He needed to be free. She moved her hand down towards his now huge
erection. As she touched him, he let out
a soft moan...." aaahh Anne. That feels so good." Anne saw that he was needing...and he saw
that she was willing. She withdrew from
their kiss and stood up. With her right hand extended and turned upside down
she extended her pointer and made a motion for him to follow her....he
agreed. Within minutes their clothes
were shed. They were laying together. His hands were tracing the outline of her body. "
Dave?" she said
"Yes ?"
" Make love
to me? "she asked.
"Oh
yeah." he said. To which he then drew her into another long passionate
kiss.
Making love to
her seemed right ... at the moment and so he didn`t waste any time answering
her request. While he was kissing her it
seemed natural for her body to lay back flat on the bed. One of his hands was entwined in her hair and
the other one was drawn, like a magnet, to her center . As he brushed his hand
there he could feel her moisture. She was ready for him. Her soft moans had caused her to plead to
him. " Please Dave....Don`t tease
me..." He leaned down towards her,
nipped at her breast and whispered to her. " ooooohhh. This is good. you`re good. " As he was readying himself for the climax, he
could feel her lift her hips towards him. The once soft moans were beginning to
get louder. Then he began to enter her. He was careful not to hurt her and
moved with incredible gentleness. He was
treating her like a china doll.
Anne was coming unglued and her
moans were stronger. They were now
turning into cries of burning desire. " Oooohhh....yess...yess...Do
it ! " she said as their eyes
met " Please David. " she pleaded.
David had decided that he could hold off no more. Especially after
looking into Annes soothing eyes, so in one swift motion he plunged all of himself into her. "
Aaaaaahhhhh! " she cried.
" OOOhhh !
..." he cried. Now, they moved together as one. " Ooohhh !
" he said again.
" Oh my
God...Dave. I`m gonna come...."
Anne said
Both of them were
sweaty , yet still going strong.
" Uuuuuhhhhh
! " ya ready Anne ? " he
asked, as he lifted himself onto his hands. " I`m comin` babe.
Dave pumped faster and faster.
' Yes
...Yes....Aaaaahhh. " she said
And with just a
few more deep thrusts the both of them climaxed together.
Desires burst and
cries for freedom were met.
Both Dave and
Anne lay together in each others arms.
Soft caresses and
gentle kisses provided the much needed security that they each needed.
After a few
moments Anne asked softly, " Hey? how `bout that dinner? "
" What
dinner is that? " he asked.
she chuckled a
bit and said " Dave...."
" I
know..." he said. Continuing he asked " hey? "
"
mmhh?" she said.
Looking shyly at
her he said " Thank you."
" For wh - -
-"
"
SSHH." He placed his finger on her mouth as he interupted her and kissed
her gently on her cheek. What had
happened, he knew wasn`t out of love , but out of need. His need.
Time seemed to
stand still for those few minutes. Only
not long enough.
Dinner was great. The two who had just gotten what they needed
, sat across from each other holding silent conversation with their eyes. Each one knew that what they
shared was temperal at best. And each one accepted that.
And for that one
moment, David Starsky had lost his pain.
Chapter 9
Ken Hutchinson had been out all day
looking for his best friend.
Now it was
9.30pm. " Where the hell are you Starsky? " He thought. This was so
unlike him , to go away and not tell me where he was going. Not like he expected him to but , the "
parent thing " was unavoidable
considering the situation. Usually he
would go to the apartment, or Huggys. Or
Hutch would find him and talk him out of whatever was bothering him. Starsky
was pretty hot-headed when he wanted to be, but this time they were going on 16
hours with no contact. Again Hutch
wondered what the hell happened, you know back at the zoo. " What the hell
could they have done to him? " Something else happened there that took away
Starskys resolve. Hutch knew that he
couldn`t give up ......So he turned the car around and headed for Huggys.
As the blonde haired detective entered
Huggys, he saw Diane, Huggys newest waitress. She was a tall black woman with
an incredible figure and she was wearing jeans and a turquoise silk blouse.
" Hey Diane." He said.
" Hey Baby,
Any word yet on that partner of yours?"
Trying to sound
upbeat he said " Not yet, but you know me...I`m not giving up. "
" Yeah, I
know. Cheer up baby, he`ll come around.... You want a beer?"
"Sure.
Where`s Huggy?"
I`ll get him
honey, he went upstairs for a minute."
As Diane started
to head up the stairs, Hutch took a seat at the bar. The frustration of the day
was starting to catch up with him....he didn`t even realize that Diane had
returned with Huggy and had put his beer down in front of him.
" Hey
Hutch." Huggy said " Are you with us?"
Hutch reached for
the beer and said " C`mon Huggy, cut this guy a break will ya."
"Okay.
what`s happenin`? Any luck?"
" I`ll tell
you Huggy ...It`s like he`s disappeared
off the face of the earth! How`s it goin` on your end?"
" Not good
my man. No-one`s heard a thing."
" Where
could he be Huggy? I checked out all the
places I could think of. "
Huggy looked at
Hutch....." What`s goin` on...?" he said.
" Okay Hug.
" I`ll give it to ya straight...but over there...." Hutch knew that
if the news of Starsky`s suspension hit the streets then all hell would break
loose...so-to-speak so both men moved to a private table in the back of the
restaurant. Huggy was getting nervous.
" C`mon Hutch, Whatz goin` down? "
" This
morning , I went in to see Dobey early, ya know? Remember how you said that Starskys got this
empty look in his face? "
" Sure. Sure. "
" Well ,
it`s been there ever since that Marcos thing...Remember...The zoo?
Huggy shook his
head..."Yeah."
" Only it`s
gettin` worse. I thought he`ld be over it by now but he isn`t. He won`t talk or
anything...So I went to Dobey to see if there was anything we could do for
him...."
" Okay , so
wud he say?"
Making a big sigh
Hutch said "Just one word Hug, Suspension!"
"
Suspen.....? " Hutch quickly drew his hand up to Huggys mouth...."
SSHHH ! "Okay...Okay... man. I
got it..." Huggy said as he pushed Hutch`s hand away..
" Only one
thing my brother....How ? Why ?" Huggy asked.
Hutch placed two
fingers in the air , smirked and said
" That`s two
things Huggy. "
" C`mon
man...I ain`t no aquaintance...Hutch.."
"
Okay..." Hutch sighed...
" Starsky
blew a gut at me this mornin` , put me up against a wall , yellin`, you know
...only right in front of Dobey.
" So whatcha
sayin` is , he`s out there now, on his own, with all this "stuff "
hangin` over him...."
" More than
that Huggy, There`s somethin` he didn`t tell us about the zoo.....somethin`
that took his resolve...and I`ll be damned if I know what it is."
" Didn`t he
file a report?"
" Yeah , but
Dobey and I think he held something back..."
Huggy cut him
off..."Yeah. and I see ...that thing is what keeps him silent."
" Yeah, only
he`s bein` stubborn, not talkin` about it.
So Dobey suspended him and told him he had to talk to the dept
shrink."
" Oh
Man...Does he know what he did? "
" It doesn`t
matter Huggy...All I know is I gotta
find him before he snaps. My gut tells me to go back to my place and wait, but ....."
Huggy
interupted...
" Hey. If
that`s what you`re thinkin` man......then you should probably go with it. You
know your instinct. You know your
partner."
"
Yeah...hhmmpphh...I know him...but
there`s always that chance Huggy...you know...the one time your instinct
is off....."
With that, Hutch
finished up his beer and placed the glass down on the table in front of him. Getting up, he placed a five
on the table and told Diane to keep the change.
She looked over
at him and said " It`ll be okay
Hutch...you`ll see."
Huggy
agreed.
Hutch gave them a
weak smile. But he knew, he saw the look in Starsky`s eye, He didn`t have a
good feeling.
Authors Note :
This part of my story deals with a sexual
situation. If you find this material offensive,
you might not want to read it.
LAM
Chapter 10
With dinner done and the moment gone, Starsky`s pain was beginning
to return. Anne could see that he was different. " Dave? " she said
" what`s got you thinkin`? " He couldn`t answer. He was
fighting...... not only his pain but his fear. "Oh... nothin` Anne."
he said.
She moved over
towards him ....she looked at him ..closely now...with compassion and for
one brief second as if looking right
through him, she saw his pain.
She reached out
and touched his black curly locks. Brushing them back she said " You are
hurting Dave ...Aren`t you ? "
His gaze dropped
to the floor.
" You
wouldn`t understand.....you can`t understand." he said.
She saw that he
couldnt talk about whatever it was that was bothering him, so she told him that
when and if he wanted to, she would be there. Lifting his gaze up from the
floor, his eyes met hers and silently
told her that he was thankful.
"I
guess.... I`ll sleep here tonight, I probably wouldn`t be good company
anyway."
Anne looked and
said " that`s okay...I`ll get you set up this way you can sleep. "But
then.......... Dave got up. And before she ever took a step, he touched her
gently on her arm and pulled her closer to him " Anne?........ Wait.
" he said.
She looked up at
him with raised eyebrows... " hhmmm? " she said.
His indigo eyes
met hers and as his hands slid down her arms to her hands, which he now held
firmly but lovingly, he said " I thought you should know that whatever
happens to me, I will always remember you, your kindness, your compassion, your love......an "
" Hey."
she interrupted " You sound as if you`re dying or
something...........besides, we both understood, Dave. You know? It goes both
ways...this thanks and remembering.....
okay?"
She didn`t
realize how close to the truth her last statement was. Anyway , it didn`t
matter because he wasn`t paying much
attention to what she said . He was afraid. His fear and pain were returning,
and just like a frightened little boy he said
" Will you sleep with
me?" She looked at him with a puzzled grin...
"Huh? I thought you said something about not being
good company...and wanting the couch..."
" No ...you
don`t get it...no sex....just sleep with me please ? Hold me. Okay ? "
She could
sense his fear, and without touching him
she could feel his trembling. How could
she resist that. Without questioning him she took hold of his hands and led him
towards the bedroom. Upon entering, they both shed their clothes and got into
the bed. Underneath the covers, they
laid together. She held him. She wrapped her arms around his chest, and she
interwove her legs with his, their bodies were pressed tightly together. He
could feel her closeness, her warmth, her strength. Compassion enveloped him.
Oh how he wished he could stay this way forever, but amidst her comforting
embrace, Dave Starsky cried silent tears. He knew in his heart that he was
breaking down, he knew why, but knowing this kind of pain and fear was new and
strange. This shook him at the very core of his existence. And soon, they both
met with the darkness, and were sleeping.
It was now 2.30
am and just like so many nights before, Dave Starsky stirred in the bed. Sweat
had drenched him and he was shaking. He felt as if there was a weight on his
chest that constricted his breathing. He couldn`t get enough
air."......No..ahh..I -- ca--n`t..." His head was turning from side
to side. "I ca--n`t
...hhmmpphh...you ca-n`t m-a-k-e me you..son-of -a-bitch! " He suddenly drew upright in bed and gasped
for air...breathing in "...aaaahhhh...Get away from me.."
And with the sudden realization of
where he was, he said "Oh God!.....
Where`s Anne ?" He panicked.....But his panick turned to relief as he
turned towards her side of the bed and saw that she was still there. He hadn`t woken her."
Good." He thought to himself. Now
sitting on the side of the bed leaning forward with his right elbow resting on
his upper thigh, he thought about her.
His head hung low and his fingers were rubbing his eyes. he was confused. He
wanted to stay but he couldn`t take the chance...Lifting his head and looking
back towards her he said " I can`t
hurt you Anne. I have to do this. I hope
you understand. " And then, getting out of the bed as quietly as he could,
he gathered up his clothes. He knew what he had to do. He went around the bed
to the door and turned. Looking in at her , seeing her sleep, he knew he had
made the right decision. Taking one last look around the apartment to make sure
that nothing was left behind, he
gathered the rest of his things and as swiftly as he had come into her
life, he left it......And as he closed the door to her apartment , he
stood there, with his back to it and
through his silent tears he said "
You know ?.... If there are such
things as guardian angels...I hope
she`ld be mine !..... " And with that he walked down the sidewalk to his
car, got in and pulled away. What he didn`t know was at that moment, Anne was
standing at her window watching. She had placed one hand on the window and
there was a solitary tear rolling down
her cheek. As she watched the torino fade from sight, she said
" Please God, whatever war he`s
fighting.....please bring him home in one piece."
******PLEASE NOTE******
This portion of my story is graphic and
contains sexual situations. It also deals with Religious Cults and possible
rituals. If you are offended by such
then you should not read it.
LAM
Chapter
11
War is a funny thing...it can go on
forever, with infinate casualties. Dave Starsky knew that from Vietnam. And sometimes, for him, even Vietnam hadn`t ended. Now, Simon Marcos had become his
Vietnam. David Starsky was dying, not
physically, but emotionally, thus rendering him practically useless to anyone
or anything. His sense of feeling was almost gone. Most of his memories of what
had happened were now buried, far below the surface of tangible contact.
The dream that
woke him was all that remained and it kept playing in his mind, blackness was
there and pain was there. " No...I can`t...you can`t make me. I won`t .....H-utc-h ? Where are you? "
He shook his head
as if trying to rid himself of some fungus....
" I`m almost
home. " he said...." I need to be home."
Driving was
almost an impossibility. He didn`t know how, but finally at around 4.00 am he
had made it home. When he got inside he he slammed the door behind him. He was
still shakey and sweaty from the dream at Anne`s. It was like a continuous
playback. He couldn`t make it stop. As
he leaned back against the closed door, he lifted both of his hands and placed
them over his ears. Even though his eyes were now tightly closed he was able to
see, only he wasn`t in the apartment...... he was back at the zoo. Everywhere
he looked they were there...Marcos` goons. And the chanting...It went on all night.........
....simon...simon...simon... " Stop it !!
Stop it!! he screamed. Then he was somewhere in the caves. He remembered
Gail giving him the bath. And the bear. He remembered the torch and the burning
and even the temporary blindness. BUT... he remembered the water most of
all...........the poisoned water....and Josephs face peering down at him
telling him that at sunrise he was going to die. And now he was beginning to
remember what had happened between the poison water and sunrise. Pain was
ravaging his body. Again he was in his dream. " No..I... c-a-n`t....
I
...w-o-n`t..." Gasping he tried to look again....his vision was blurry, He
could make out a female figure lying on the ground in front of him, "My
God! It`s Gail."
What was she
doing?" he thought....Someone had grabbed his hair and he felt his head
being pulled back. His right arm was twisted around his back in a police hold.
He was in pain. As he went backwards he
looked and Joseph was looking at him again " No...You can`t
m-a-k-......and with that Joseph had pinched his nose closed, which caused his
mouth to open. Against his will he was made to drink the water again ...only this time it wasn`t
water...... it was blood.....He could taste it....He was gonna get sick, but
before he did he managed to spit most of it out into Joseph`s face. That made
Joseph angry, so angry that he quickly turned towards Starsky and backhanded
him in the face. " Okay pig. you want to play? "Now Joseph grabbed
Starsky`s hair and pulled once more,
only this time he took him all the way down to the floor so he could see Gail.
She was laying there dressed in white, but she was crying. " G-a-i-l-?
Wh-at did t-hey
do to you? " he said. Joseph dragged him up to his feet by his hair....." You see
pig...she is weak, but Simon dreamed that we could help her to be strong.
Starsky looked up
at him and again spit at him " You
fr-e-aks..." he said as he
gasped for air. " Y-ou le-ave
her alone...."
Joseph moved to
within inches of him and smiled. " You can`t help her pig. This is not
your dream.. Simon dreamed you will stay
and watch us make her strong" Starsky, being a galant soul tried to free
himself from evils grip. But to no
avail. Joseph and another of Simons
goons took Starsky over to the wall of the cave. There were two handcuffs to
which they placed Starskys wrists into. Then with a twisted snarl and a glare
in his eyes , Joseph sadistically tightened the handcuffs around Starskys
wrists. Starsky took a deep breath in and clenched his teeth as he felt the
cuffs dig into his wrists. He was determined not to give Joseph the pleasure of
a scream. The pain was horrendous. He turned his head and saw blood trickling down towards his hands. It
was a losing battle now for him to remain strong. Tears began to fall from his blurry eyes.
Joseph reveled in Starskys weakness.
" Now
Pig....watch as Simons power helps her to be strong. " And with that ....,
one by one he watched, as each one of the men..... took their turn with her. He
was helpless. he couldn`t do anything except listen to her cries of terror. He tried to turn away, but everytime he did
someone was there turning his head to make sure he watched. At first she struggled out of terror, but
with each turn, she got weaker and weaker. " Simon. Simon Simon." The
onlookers chanting was making Starsky sick. And as he gazed down towards her he
said "G-a-i-l- do-n`t g-ive up..
Reme---" He was interupted ...One of
Simons goons had him by the hair again. He was jolted back " eeehh.."
he said, as he tried to catch his breath. "Open your mouth again pig, and
you won`t live to see sunrise..."
Starsky thought about dying...and how at
this point even dying was better than living. Witnessing this...He was in pain,
frustrated, beaten..and despondent..In his thoughts there was only one thing he
could see " H-ut-ch " he said in a faint whisper, " where....
are...... you? "
" Here ,
give him this...." Joseph said as
he handed Starskys tormentor a small
cup. " that should prevent him from causing any futher disturbances." Starsky saw and knew what was
coming...." N...o. N--o. " he said.
This time it was Joseph who had a tight grasp on Starskys hair and nose.
Pushing his head back up against the wall, his tormentor brought the cup up to
his mouth and emptied it`s contents.....With-in minutes Starsky`s stomach felt
as if it had been twisted. Sharp , quick needling pain was beginning to make
it`s way through his body. Every time his body jerked, he could feel the handcuffs
tighten up. He was sweating and shaking. Every inch of his body hurt.
" Stay awake
pig! "
" Simon
Simon Simon ! "
Being forced, as
he was to look, the only thing he saw
was Gails eyes. Empty and distant, yet hurting and pleading. Being
forced to listen, the only thing he now
heard.... was her voice.......as weak as it was, it rose above all of their
chantings and beckoned to him, besieging
him to help. Before Joseph let go of Starskys hair, he smiled
once again that evil smile ,leaned into Starsky and spoke in a chilling whisper
to him. " If you hadn`t taken Simon....Maybe she wouldn`t have to suffer
like this....pig. " Throwing Starskys head back with delightful
propensity,he then turned around to complete the ritual that was playing out before him. He being
Simons elder was the last one to take his turn with Gail. But before he did, he
told her Simon dreamed this and that she was recieving his strength through his
followers. She tried to breathe....she tried to yell, but all she could do was
whimper and shiver . A single tear ran down the left side of her face. Then
Joseph, lifted his arms and praised Simon. Then, his arms slowly came down
. When his arms reached his side , his
robe fell.....He stood in front of her naked, and with crude malevolence descended
down on her and took his turn
with her . Being aware that he had to finish out the cleansing ritual before he could unite with her, heightened his evil pleasure
. All of the followers that stood watching did nothing but chant..." Simon
Simon Simon ." Joseph was almost god-like in the beginning. Touching her
with an eerie gentleness. was enough to make one think that he almost
had a heart. But with incredible swiftness,
he became like an animal. The touches became more severe. In his viscious
frenzy he became sin personified.
Getting up, he
stood over her. One of the other followers had come close to him with a bucket.
He reached his hands in as if he were washing them. Then lifted them out and
held them up high. Starsky didn`t want to see, but it couldn`t be helped. Josephs hands and arms were coated in goats
blood. Joseph yelled " All Hail Simon ! " The followers repeated
him. The blood dripped onto Gails body. Stepping over Gails body and standing now
between her legs, He took his bloody hands , dipped them into the bucket once
again and began to wash her body. " You are Simons chosen one ! " he
said. Then he took some of the blood and
coated his erection. His breathing was becoming more intense. He looked at Gail and said " You will
now be one with Simon himself.....Through us you will be made one with
him...and you will belong to him forever. " Taking the blood once again, he coated his
fingers and placed them roughly inside of her vagina. He watched her face. He did this for what
seemed forever until it was time for him to complete the ritual. Then he stepped up to her. He made her lick
the blood off of him, and patted her head like a dog. " Good girl. "
he said "You learn well. Simon is
pleased. " Standing once again
between her legs, without warning he jumped on her and tried to plunge himself
into her.. She was dry, because the goats blood had started to congeal. His voice had become nothing but a bunch of
animal sounds. He kept up this relentless attack on her until she
succumbed. Sometimes lifting up his head
and looking right into Starskys eyes.
The evil
smile......
The wicked
smirk.......
Even in Starskys
weakened condition, he could feel the urge to kill.
Only he couldn`t kill Joseph........and he
couldn`t help Gail....
Joseph`s sexual
frenzy continued. He was close to climax
. Starsky could tell.
Joseph was
pumping hard. but he was also biting her breasts and arms. She was bleeding now. From their evil, relentless torture. As they watched and
listened, their chanting equalled Joseph`s actions...the harder and faster he
thrusted, the louder their cries to simon got......... until .......finally
.......he screamed in euphorial
pleasure. Physically exhausted, his body fell right on top of Gails.
Then......Only
then was there silence......an evil silence.
Starskys resolve
was taken, he was unable to do anything for her. He remembered how she looked
when he first saw her. Sweet and Innocent.
Now all that remained was a shell.
Cracked and empty. In his mind, Starsky
felt responsible. He could do nothing.
Joseph got up. He told the others to take Gail to the back and bathe
her. She now had a place of honor and in a few short hours her destiny would be made complete. As they
picked up her limp, bleeding, tortured body, she looked into Starskys eyes . He
saw nothing but obligational submission. He shook and cried silently as they
led her away. Joseph had now come back to where Starsky was and told the
remaining followers to take Starsky and bathe him again so that he would be a
pure sacrifice. Starsky was too weak to object.
After the
purifying bath, Joseph returned yet again to a very agreeable
Starsky, offered
him another drink of water and told him to dream his last
dream...........................
And now,
back at the apartment , Starsky had crouched all the way down to the floor with his hands
still over his ears and his eyes tightly shut.
Tears flowed down his cheeks, He was drenched in sweat..........Trying
to block out that memory was like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole,
impossible. He had forgotten where he was and just crouched in the corner.
Rocking. rocking. crying. crying. sweating. shaking......
Breaking
down........
Chapter 12
Halfway across town, in a small
apartment. Miss Aurora Madison, sat at
her kitchen table going through her files. She looked up at her clock,
" 11.00pm" she thought. " I
only have one more file to look at...now where is it? "
As she got up,
she began searching through her apartment. Over by her front door there was a
small table, and resting upon it was the solitary file.
" There you
are.." she said. After reaching the
table she picked up the file and read the name that was printed in the top left
hand corner....
......STARSKY,
DAVID M. Det. Sgt. Homicide/Narcotics.
Upon opening the
file she noticed that printed in large letters on the top of the first page
were the following:
INVESTIGATION REPORT
CASE # 1224 SIMON MARCOS CULT
As she moved
across the room, back towards the kitchen table, she placed it on her chair.
She then proceeded to stack the files that were there on the table . She put
them together in a neat pile and placed them over on the table by the front
door. Walking back she thought, " This one is gonna be tough."
Just how tough
she didn`t realize. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down. With that she
re-opened the file and noticed a medium sized manila envelope. In Bold Black lettering it had written "
INVESTIGATION PICTURES".
" Okay !
" she thought. " Here goes. "
Nothing could
have prepared her for what she was about to see. There spread out before her
were two dozen or so pictures. They were taken from all sides. But there
was no doubt, Det. Sgt. David Starsky... had seen the
inside of hell.
All of the
pictures depicted Starsky`s wounds. His face and legs badly beaten, his wrists
raw and blue, His right eye and the area
around it was puffy, swollen and exhibited signs of first and second degree
burns, and his back and chest...already riddled with " Battle scars" had aquired new friends.
But what worried her the most was a picture in which Starsky had to turn
and " FACE " the camera.....The empty look in his eyes....They had
secrets.....These kind of secrets are the worst..
The look of fear and hopelessness were
unmistakable. At that moment she knew that her initial instincts about the
young Detective Sgt. and his mindset were right on target.
" Simon Marcos?" she thought to
herself...She knew about them, even read about their cult practices, but, My God....... "How could there be such a
person as this...with such a depraved
indifference towards humanity?" She
asked herself that and probably a half a dozen more questions....
Because of her psychology training, she knew that David was suffering, but she
also knew that he was running.....running away, trying to find his safe haven.
Looking at those pictures she could see and feel his childlike spirit being drained
from him...She knew him from the precint.
He used to be quite adventuresome, and
silly, but the man in this picture was none of those things...He was
withdrawn and depressed.
Tears filled her
eyes. She said " No-one should have to suffer like this...it `s just not fair. She placed the file down ,
drank the last bit of her tea, and walked to her room. She had to make him her
priority. And with him being suspended she had all the time in the world. She
realized that it wasn`t going to be easy, but she had to try...She wanted to
try...
She looked up at
the clock. 12:43 am . She stretched her
arms out way over her head and yawned. " Well." she said. " I
better get to bed ...I`ll need my rest for tomorrow. Before she went in, she went back to the
kitchen, placed his file with the others by the door. Then quickly cleaned up what little mess
there was and again headed down the hall towards her bedroom. As she headed down towards her bedroom, she had no way of knowing what
was going on with David. But it wouldn`t
be long until she found out......David Starsky was alot worse than anyone
suspected........
Chapter 13
The alarm rang out from Hutch`s clock on his
nightstand. He didn`t need it though because he had not been asleep. It was
5.30 am now...Tonight was hell. His best friend and partner, was no where to be
found. When He left Huggys at around
10.00pm, he couldn`t go home . So he rode around for about 5 hours or so,
hoping that he could find him ..but to no avail. Then after he came home, he
tried calling Starsky for another hour ...but again... to no avail...so around
4.00 am, Hutch was hurting. He closed
his eyes and tried to get some sleep. He
was worried for his friend. Fearful that his mind would breakdown. If that
happened, how would he be able to help him? " Please God, let me be there
for him........."
That was the last
thing Hutch said before catching the darkness.
But now...now the
alarm was ringing....As Hutch made his way out of the bed and began walking
towards the bathroom, he walked passed
the clock and turned off the alarm. He ran his hand through his blonde hair,
scratching the right side of his head. Then he let out a big yawn...and stretched
a bit. Once in the bathroom, after
taking care of business, he turned towards the sink. He reached down and turned on the water then
looked up into the mirror, " God, you look terrible Hutchinson! You know
that! " he said. Slowly bending down towards the sink, he lowered his head
and with both his hands cupped together he scooped up the lukewarm water that
had been running and brought it up to his face. " Ah ... that feels good." he
thought. He did it a few more times
before reaching over to his right and grabbing the hand towel that had been
hanging there. Bringing it up to his
face he gently wiped the water away. Placing the towel down onto the counter ,
he caught a glimpse of himself once
again in the mirror.....He too had a tape on continuous playback in his head,
only his played the words that he had
said to Starsky yesterday morning. Words of concern tainted with a hint of
anger.
" Hey buddy...You better remember one thing....I don`t know
what you went through ...but that my friend...that is your fault.....you won`t
talk..."
You know , In his mind Hutch knew that
what he did was right, but still, even knowing that couldn`t prevent him from
his basic human thoughts and feelings.
"Oh great
Hutchinson..." He thought to himself...After everything Starsks been
through you go and put this on him too....What the hell were you thinkin`?
"
He remembered how
Starsky reacted to him after Starsky found him strung out on the smack. How he
picked him up and put him in his car even though he had been sitting in a
gutter. Maybe that wouldn`t mean anything to anyone else but to Hutch it meant
everything...after all That Striped tomato was EVERYTHING to his friend.
Starsky`s pride and joy.... but it didn`t matter that day. Everything was
second to Hutch. He thought more... How, through all of his withdrawal Starsky
had been there for him, protecting,
comforting, even suffering with him....all the way through it, from start
to finish. Starsky was like that, giving...... a nursemaid if you
will............... but only with Hutch. While standing there trying to process
this ...he thought
" Hell, if
he could have , Starsky would have changed places with me....He hated seeing me
suffer...."
" Who could
we trust? he thought...The ones we always trust? "
Me and Thee....... Right..........Me and
Thee. Hutch couldn`t process the
thoughts that were in his mind....All he could see or feel was the betrayal
that he had now convinced himself he had brought to his friend. The " Me and Thee " trust was
broken when he went and told Dobey.
He remembered the
last thing he saw as Starsky left the parking lot.......the damn striped
tomato....with his friend at the wheel...only his friend hadn`t looked, waved, or anything...In all the years they`ve
been partners, they`ve never left
from here like that. Even if Starsky had flipped him off, stuck his tongue out
at him, at least that would have been something...But nothing.....not even the
perverbial " Starsky Glare. "
" I
can`t blame him...I`ld have done the
same thing..."Turning his head in frustration, he headed back towards the
bedroom. It wouldn`t take him long to get dressed because he just wanted to get
out there and continue searching for his buddy......He had to find him and
restore the trust that he had broken. But was it too late....Could it be
restored?
A note to the
reader:
There is reference in this chapter to a place
named Victoria Falls.
I want to explain
to you why I have chosen Victoria Falls.
Victoria Falls is in Africa. I believe it has the largest drop for a
waterfall in the world and I believe it is also one of the 7 natural wonders of
the world. I felt that this was the only way to adequetly describe the severity
of Starskys dilemma.
In using this
metaphor, it gives the reader tangible depth to what he is facing, and how he
could recover.
LAM
Chapter 14
2000 Ridgeway Avenue was a very quiet
place at 6.30 am, but it was not without it`s problems...David Starsky was
hurt. He was laying on his side in a fetal position in the far corner of his
bedroom. His eyes were still tightly closed and his hands were still up around
his ears. All he wanted to do was to block out the memory that came back to him
last night. The one that had taken
possesion of his soul. His spirit was broken. Even running away couldn`t take
away his thoughts. They would be with him until he dealt with them.
Ring! Ring!
.......... Ring! Ring! The phone had
startled him back to reality.
Hutch was at the
other end....hoping that Starsky would be there...." Come on....pick up
the phone. " Hutch said as he waited with anticipation.
Ring! Ring!
.......
David sat there ...now awake and thought to
himself...." That`s Hutch...I know it.
I can`t pick it up... buddy , I can`t . "
" Come on
Starsky ....I know you`re there...Pick up the damn phone.
" The phone
continued it`s beckoning. David now stood looking down at the phone...".I
know you want me to pick it up Hutch, but I`m not ready....not yet. "
Hutch waited ,
but after the tenth ring with no pick up, he realized that his partner probably
wasn`t there ....so he hung up..... Just as the phone on Hutch`s end was being hung up, the phone on Starskys end was
being picked up. There was some part of David that wanted help. But as he
lifted the phone towards his ear, all he could hear was the dialtone. Quietly
and sadly David returned the phone back to it`s place. As he walked towards the
shower, all he could think of was getting out of there...
Showers are good
things....If they are hot enough they could melt away all of your burdens.
Shame was Davids burden, and it was chained to his soul. It gripped his soul
like the handcuffs gripped his wrists and it cut right through to the bone.
Only these chains of shame were imbedded deep in his soul. In the shower, David stood and let the water , being as hot
as he could stand it, run over him like the waters of Victoria Falls. Strong
and mighty the waters were, and it felt as though they could melt away all the burdens in his world. David
reached over and grabbed a bar of soap. He started to scrub his body, the rag
was rich with lather. As he scrubbed he noticed that the water sent the lather
running down his body until it rested on the floor of the shower....like the
water at the falls.....Tumultuous at the peak, but once through the fall,
peaceful and calm.
He scrubbed his
body ferociously trying to rid himself of the shame. But it didn`t help. As he
exited the shower he grabbed a towel and began to dry himself. Grabbing another
towel he wrapped it around his waist and went back into the bedroom. He went over
to his dresser and pulled out some clothes. Nothing unusual for him, another
pair of faded jeans, blue button down shirt, a pair of socks, and underwear.
As he started to get dressed he
couldn`t help his feelings of failure.
" That damn nightmare ..... why couldn`t the shower take away that
damn nightmare. " he thought. He
knew the answer to that, but when you`re hurting.....you know the feeling, even
though you know what you`re asking for is impossible, you still hope that it could happen anyway. Well that`s
exactly where he was. In that wishing place.
Sitting there on the edge of his bed with his shirt on but not tucked in
he leaned forward and put his hands on his head. " C` mon, " he said.
" You gotta get a grip... You gotta get outta here soon. " With a
shake of his head , he got up off the bed and walked into the bathroom.
Standing in front of the sink as he had done a thousand times before, he
grabbed the toothpaste and his brush. This was it. After these last few things
he was moving on..........or so he thought.
There, he had
finished brushing his teeth. After rinsing and spitting , he reached over and
grabbed a rag. Running it under warm water he wrung it out and brought it up to
his face. With a sigh he said " Aahh ...that feels goooood. " As he brought the rag down his face towards
his chin, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Slowly he lowered the
rag until it was on the counter below him. He stared into the mirror as if
looking at a stranger....just for a second though and then he drew back a step.
As he stood there , he took a long look at the man in the mirror...his 24 hour
visit to hell 3 months ago was rushing back to his memory. Like camera flashes,
the images passed before him . Each one more tormenting than the one before.
Then as he was watching this slide show, his gaze was fixed once again on the
man in the mirror. Slowly he unbuttoned his shirt. One at a time until they
were all undone, then he grabbed both sides of his shirt and began to lower it.
Down around his shoulders it came until it was halfway down his arms, his chest
was now fully exposed . And there before him were the visual confirmations of
his suffering at Marco` hands. He let the shirt fall to the floor and slowly
placed his right arm in his left hand just below the wrist. Not one word was
being spoken because silence was his teacher now....He could hear with his eyes
while his hands spoke. They were telling him about his suffering, about his pain.
He was at his Victoria Falls.
But was he ready
....to take the fall....risk his pain, his fear, his shame.......
Chapter 15
It didn`t matter whether he was ready or
not. The time had come for David to face his pain. As he stood in front of the
mirror holding his right arm, he looked at his wrists. Both of which showed
signs of his pain. A small blue ring had formed around them where the handcuffs
tore into them, true, it was much better now but it was still there. His chest
was covered with bruises and cuts...all of which had already begun the healing
process, but none-the-less were still visible. There was a scar above his right
eye that came from the torch that nearly blinded him. But the injury that was
the most visible was that of himself...as a whole. David looked into the mirror
and found that the person staring back at him was..... unfamiliar to him .
Strange and distant, weak and fearful. That was not the image that he
knew...His eyes displayed those of one whose soul had been taken away and
destroyed.
He was scared.
The time to jump
was nearing.
He took a step
towards the mirror and just looked,
As he came closer
to the sink, he reached out and placed his hands on the edge of the sink and
stretched over it so he was closer still to the mirror. His weakness and
fearfulness was quickly being replaced by anger and rage... and his gaze proved
that. In a disbelieving tone he said
" Look at what they did to me! Why? " The hands that were resting on
the counter had now become fists of rage.
" You
Bastards.....Look at what you did to me....!! "
And with out even
blinking he raised his fists and sent them crashing into the mirror..."
NNNOOOOO !!! " he screamed.
He
jumped......head first into his pain....Victoria Falls had become a reality for
David Michael Starsky
David Starsky`s
passion had been made real. And there was no doubt what he was feeling. For the
first time in 3 months, his passion was unleashed. " NNOOOOO !!!!! "
he cried as he continued to hit the mirror. His hands were now covered in blood.
but he couldn`t stop the release. His bathroom had become a warzone, and he was
right in the middle of the exchange. Glass was being tossed in every direction.
Much like the schrapnel in Vietnam. His
body shook with rage as he continued his rampage. " Why? Why ? I HATE YOU !! Look at me you mutha fuckers !
" His emotions were mixed...hate and anger with helplessness and
shame. " I`m sorry Gail...How could
I let them do....... I`m so sorry Gail. I`m so sorry. " His adrenhelin overflowed and now his rage
was being overshadowed by his shame and guilt. He was becoming
despondent...." I should have let them kill me......" he said
Tears filled his
eyes. He had nowhere to run to. He had nowhere to hide. He had fallen hard and
there was no-one there to help pick him up.
But there was.
After Hutch got
dressed he walked down to his car and got in.
Once inside, he tucked the keys into the ignition and turned. The engine
roared. As he was pulling away from the curb, he was just about to pick up the
mic and call into division when he heard
" Zebra Three. Zebra Three. This is control. Do you read?
" Hutch reached down and picked up the microphone " Control, this
is Zebra Three go ahead. "
" Zebra
Three, I have an emergency patch through from a
Huggy bear ? "
" do you
read ? "
" Control,
this is Zebra Three. Put it through....."
" Yeah,
Hutch. This is Huggy."
" Yeah Hug.
Whadya got ? "
" Starsky,
my man. "
" I`m
listening. "
" Word is...
he was seen last night drivin` like a wild man. "
" Where at
Huggy ? "
" Somewhere
out by his place. Hut --"
Hutch cut him off
and and with a huge sigh of relief he said " Thank You Hug."
And with that
Hutch pulled the car up close to the right hand side of the road and did a
u-turn, headed in the direction of Starsky`s apartment. He thought to himself " Hold on Buddy
...I`m comin` to getcha. " But Hutch didn`t have a good feeling. A few moments later , Hutch sped up to
Starsky`s apartment and found his friends car parked half cocked in the
driveway. Hutch`s hunch was right.The
bad feeling was a sure thing. Hutch
didn`t even shut his car door as he exited. He wanted to get to his friend. He
just made it to the bottom of the stairs when he heard a loud crash and Starsky
yell " Nnnooooo!!! " Hutch didn`t want to take any chances so he
quickly drew his gun and ran up to the top of the stairs. Without thinking he
kicked in the door. " STARSKYYYY !!! " he yelled. But all he could
hear was Starsky yelling " NNOOOOO!
Why ? Why ?" and more glass shattering. Hutch was frantic now,
running around the apartment. Room by room, gun still drawn, he checked, until
finally he got to the bathroom. There was his friend trying to fight off an
invisible foe. Starsky was thrashing around pounding the mirror . His hands were
covered in blood .
Blood which was
now pretty well distributed along with the glass, all through out the small
bathroom. He quickly put his gun back
into his holster and ran inside to grab Starsky.
" Starsky
!" he yelled as he tried to grab him.
" No! No!
No! You Bastards! " Starsky fought off Hutch with unfounded strength. Both
men were in the throws of battle. Hutch grabbed Starskys hands and pulled them
straight up into the air. " C-o-m-e
O-n...." Hutch said as he struggled to get a hold of his partner....."
You l-e-a-v-e me al-one?! " Starsky said as he continued to fight.
" Co-me O-n
Starsky ? Will ya ?" Hutch said.
Starsky said
" Go Away ! "
Hutch thought
" Boy, I`m glad you`re not on the other side. "
Grabbing Starsky
yet again by the arms and turning him so that he could get him into some sort
of bear hug, Hutch said " Come on Buddy...It`s over ....It`s over..."
Starsky was getting tired. His anger was almost out, his fear was almost out. He
was almost at the bottom of the Falls. He was crying now. In a lower tone he
said " Why ? Why ? " He was
losing the strength in his legs. Hutch had a better hold on him now. There they were...Starsky in
front of Hutch with his back to him, still struggling a bit, and Hutch behind
Starsky holding Starsky with his arms wrapped around his friends chest. "Come on Starsk...I`m here. " Hutch
said. "Ummph.! Let me go...leave me
alone..." The frustration was pretty evident in Starsky`s voice. " I
shoulda died....Why`dja come for me ?
" he said.
" Come on Starsk....Calm down now...It`s
over..okay ? It`s over." Hutch did
his best to guide his friend into the living room. Hutch brought him over to
the couch and sat him down. Hutch was breathing pretty heavily , hell they both
were. Hutch just looked at Starsky. His body looked weak, his face showed signs
of distress. He said..." C`mon Buddy ...it`s all over...."
" It`s never
gonna be over Hutch..." Starsky said as he shook his head.
Hutch just stood back and listened. He
figured that what his partner needed the most now was a good listener.
He was right.
Starsky was
shaking and drenched. Hutch now moved over to the couch and sat.
One thing that caught His attention was his
friends hands. They looked as though they had been through a meat grinder. Starsky said "H-u-t-c-h .....? "
Hutch sat there
with his friend . He leaned over to him and said " I`m here ....It`s over
Starsk. "
Starsky said
" Look at me. Look at what they did to me."
" I
know..." Hutch said. " Let me get a look at those hands of yours.
"
Starsky didn`t
object. As Hutch pulled back enough to
see Starsky`s hands, he couldn`t believe what he saw. Starsky`s hands covered
in blood. No beginning or end to his wounds. Hutch knew this was serious. He
had to call for an ambulance.
" Hey. We need to get you to a docto---."
Starsky
interupted, " Hutch, Please ...no Doctors..."
Hutch said,
" Starsk, You need help that I can`t give you."
Starsky knew
Hutch was right, but still insisted. "
There are towels in the closet. Please..."
"
Starsky...you are gonna need more than towels for this and you know it. "
Starsky`s
breathing was getting harder now. Hutch looked at his friend and saw that he
was pale. " Starsk ? You okay ? " he said. And with that Starsky gave in to the fall he had just taken and
passed out.
David had hit the
bottom of the Falls. And his lifeline to peace was Hutch.
Chapter 16
By the time the ambulance had arrived it was
already 9.00am. Hutch had called them first and then Dobey and Huggy. By now
Hutch himself felt as if he was gonna pass out.
He collapsed into the couch, and rubbed his brow.
The ambulance
crew had stabalized Starsky. He was loaded onto the gurney and taken outside to
the waiting ambulance. Huggy and Dobey met up with him there.They stopped long
enough to get a quick glance at their friend. Looking up right away to the
attendant Huggy said " How is he? "
The attendant
didn`t look thrilled. " Pretty bad. We had to sedate him in order to get a
look at his wounds. "
" What
wounds? " Dobey said.
" Well, he
cut up his hands and wrists pretty badly. He didn`t want us to help him. Thank
God for Detective Hutchinson, He had to convince him that we weren`t gonna hurt
him."
Huggy started to go up the stairs and
motioned for Dobey to join him.
"Oh."
the attendant said..." When you get up there tell Detective Hutchinson
that we`re ready for him. We`re taking
him to Memorial."
" Yeah sure.
" came the reply from Huggy.
With the two men headed up the stairs, and
Starsky being loaded into the ambulance, the attendant signaled the driver. The
driver picked up the mic and said " Memorial ? The patient at 2000
Ridgeway is stabalized ...Eta approximately 20 minutes." The attendants
knew that they were to wait for Hutch. After all he didn`t want his partner
going to the hospital without him.
But Hutch was still inside. He had gotten up and
begun to move around. He was left to survey the damage so to speak. As he did,
he thought about how truly lucky Starsky had been. The bathroom looked like a
warzone. Glass and blood were all over.
" Jesus Starsky....you could have killed yourself. " Hutch`s
body just shook all over. Hutch was carefully taking in everything in that
apartment when Huggy and Dobey walked in."Hut... "Huggy said. He
stopped. Both men were inside the apartment now. What they saw sent shivers up
their spines. Hutch was standing there in front of them. He too was covered in
blood. Not his though. Starskys. Hutch
saw them and with a look of confusion on his face said."Why ? why cap ?
" He turned around and waved his hand...." Where did....where did
all this come from Cap`n? Hutch waved
his hand again.Only this time with his pointer finger extended..He looked at
them and both men could see the hurt and anger that was now evident in their friends eyes.
"You know.
" he said. " If he woulda talked to me....this woulda never
happened."
Huggy said it
again..." Hutch ? They`re ready for
ya downstairs."
" Huh ?
---Oh yeah..." Hutch said. And turning around, he headed for the door.
Dobey and Huggy followed. When he got there, he turned, almost bumping into them and pointed his
finger towards them. Determination gleamed in his eye as he said....." I`m
not givin` up on him ! I`m gonna get to
the bottom of this...Even if it takes me the rest of my life....I`m gonna get
to the bottom of it." And you could
bet he was serious because at that very moment Kenneth Hutchinson still had
no idea what had happened 3 months earlier at the zoo. And with that he turned
once again and made his way down the stairs to the waiting ambulance. Dobey and
Huggy followed behind him. They watched him climb up into the back and settle
next to his friend. He laid a hand down on Starskys shoulder. The other attendant jumped up into the back
and got himself situated. As Dobey and Huggy closed the door to the ambulance
they gave the driver a thumbs up indicating that he could go. The siren roared
as the ambulance drove away. The two men stood and watched it disappear from
their sight. Then they turned and walked back to their car in silence. They
knew what they had witnessed....... In one moment, The " Me and Thee " trust was
restored. There was no mistaking it. Starsky and Hutch were gonna make
it...They always did. And as Dobey and Huggy drove away from Starskys
apartment, which for those last brief moments
had become a
warzone of inpenetrable magnitude, They realized that even though the battle
lines had been drawn, there was evidence of impending surrender. The war, as
silent and brutal as it was, was beginning to come to an end.
Chapter 17
This War is
Over
by LAM
take off my pain
carry me slow
i won`t fight here anymore
tell them i`m alright
i`m coming home
tell them i`m alright
i`m all alone
this war is over
i`m coming home
melissa etheridge ( your little secret
) 1995
PART 3 : THE
RESULT
It
seemed like hours had gone by but Hutch knew better. Sitting in the
waiting room while his friend and partner was getting medical attention was
sort of a normal thing now. As he sat there going through the events of the
morning, his countenance began to show signs of the pain that he himself had been experiencing throughout the
past 24 hours or so. One of the nurses stopped to offer him a drink of water
but he refused. Tears started to trickle
down his face. Hutch fought to hold them back....After all, it wasn`t a custom
of his to be overly emotional. He sat slumped forward in the small light blue chair with his elbows resting on
his upper thighs and lowered his face into his hands. It seemed as though his
frustration was kicking in. Even though he had slight trickles of tears trying
to take away all of the things that haunted him over the last 3 months,
his thoughts began turning angry " Damn you Starsky. Talking to me would
have prevented all of this...Why? Why didn`t you come to me...your
friend..." That frustration was
now beginning to overcome his body which had begun to shake. Nothing was making
sense to him. No matter what he thought , there was no way to comprehend the
things that had gone on over the last 3 months. Hutch wiped away the trickles
of water, stood up and stretched. reaching down into his right pant pcket he
pulled out his grand dads pocketwatch.He noticed the time...9.55 am. "Oh
no. Starsky`s appointment!" he said to himself. He ran over to the nurses
station and asked the girl on duty if he could use the phone. After agreeing,
he picked up the phone and began to dial. " I gotta get to Dobey." he
thought. Busy signals... " C`mon Capt.! Get off the damn phone........ "
At 9:55 am Miss. Aurora Madison, who had
been in her office preparing for her 10.00 am meeting, was now getting
restless. Even though he was not late,
she had been thinking constantly about him and what he had been through over
the last 3 months. David Starsky, according to his captain, was usually pretty
punctual. She had tried to call Dobey
but got no answer. Placing the phone down into it`s cradle she walked over to
her desk, picked up Davids file and continued reading it. Within a few minutes
her secretarys voice came across the office intercom..." Miss. Madison? I
have a call from a Captain Dobey in
Homicide? Will you take it?" Turning around quickly, Aurora walked over to
the intercom and said.."Yes Karen, I will. Put it through. "
" Okay Miss.
Madison, stand by please..."
A few seconds
later the phone in her office rang out.
Picking it up she spoke " Captain ! I
was just trying to reach you. I`ve been
reviewing your Detective Starsky`s file. I have a few questions for you but
they can wait until after I speak to him... that is IF he sho...."
" Miss.
Madison! " Dobey interupted. "David won`t be coming in this
morning."
Aurora dropped
the file she was holding.
" What ? Has
something happened ? Captain....what is it ?"
Dobey was frozen.
He too had been affected by what had transpired earlier.
" Captain
?" Aurora said again, " Is
David okay ? "
Dobey
quickly regained his composure and
returned back to his conversation " There was an incident earlier this
morning over at his apartment. "
" Oh No.
" she said. " He`s not d--- "
Dobey interupted.
" No No . " he said. " Nothing like that. He is at Memorial
.That is all I can tell you now. You need to be there. "
" Thank You
Captain, I`ll have my secretary cancel my appointments. Can you meet me down
there say around 10:30 ...11:00? "
" Sure.
" I`m heading over there now. I have to drop off someone on the way but I
will see you down there."
It was close to
11:30 am. Almost two hours after his
arrival. Finally
Detective Sgt.
David Michael Starsky was resting peacfully in his assigned room. His once
bloodied hands were now carefully stitched and wrapped in secure
bandages. But the bandages couldn`t cover up the other wounds that were
obvious. Emotional wounds. The lines on his face made him look tired and worn
and his eyes even though they were closed, didn`t look peaceful. They were
tightly shut, as though they were prison doors holding their captive secure.
Dr. Franklin was
an older man who knew the detective from the poisoning incident 13 months
earlier. He had the detectives chart in his hands and was writing the
medication instructions down when the
nurse entered the room. Looking up at
her he said."Okay Beth, Everything you need to know is written down here
on the chart. I need those bandages changed every eight hours. We can`t risk
infection. Anti-biotics are being given through the IV." He continued,
" He is
resting now. I want him kept sedated for now, I don`t know if he can handle
everything he`s gone through yet. I am going out to talk to his partner. Maybe he can shed
some light on this..."
" Okay Doc.
" she said. As she took the chart
from the doctor and placed it back on the end of the bed she continued, "
Is there anything else you would like me to do? "
" No. That`s
all for now. If there are any changes
you need to let me know right away."
" You got
it. "
As Dr. Franklin
left the room, Beth turned to check on her patient. She is a tender looking
woman, all of 26 years old. Her
confidence shown through her eyes as she re-did his blankets to make sure he
was warm and comfortable. When she was
through she ran her hand through his
thick black curly locks. Even though she didn`t know him she saw his
wounds. There was a table next to his bed that had a small silver bowl on it.
Inside the bowl was cool water and a white cloth. Picking up the cloth and
wringing it out, she folded it neatly and began to wipe the head of her
patient. " There ." she said.
" I bet you`ll be up and out of here in no time. " As she
finished wiping his head and face, She returned the cloth to the silver bowl.
She checked his IV and when she was satisfied that her patient was settled, she
turned and left.
Meanwhile, back
at the nurse station, Hutch had given up trying to get through to Dobey. After sitting for a while , he decided to
call Miss. Madison direct. Two rings
now..." Come on. " he thought.
" Aurora
Madisons office. Can I help you ? " came the soft voice on the other end.
" Yes. This
is Detective Hutchinson. Can I speak to Miss Madison ? "
" I am sorry
detective. Miss Madison just left the office. "
" What ?
" he said. " I have to talk to her. It`s about my partners appointment....... Starsky..Detective David
Star...... "
" Detective
Hutchinson." the voice interupted, " I was told to cancel all of Miss
Madisons appointments for the day. That`s all I know. "
Hutch was
somewhat confused, but continuing he said " Do you know where she went ?
"
" I am sorry
detective. I truly do not know. Besides,
you know even if I did, I couldn`t tell you. "
Hutch thought to
himself, " great time for sticking to the rules! " Speaking out loud
now and with a big sigh he continued, " Okay , I`ll talk to her later.
"
The soft voice
returned again "Thank you. " it said and they both hung up. Before he
could get the phone back into it`s cradle, he caught a glimpse of a small
figure approaching him from just beyond his peripheral vision. As he turned to
look directly at it, he quickly recognized her... " Miss. Madison ! "
he said " I was just trying to reach you.
How did you fi..."
" Your Captain phoned me. " she
interupted. " Told me I should be here. "
Just at that
moment, Dr. Franklin emerged from Davids room. " Detective Hutchinson ?
" Right here
Doc." Hutch said as he raised his hand and moved towards the older man.
" When can I see him? "
" First things first Detective ! I need
to ask you some questions then you can see him. He`s sedated now and sleeping.
Please follow me."
Chapter 18
As soon as the
three people had started to move towards the doctors office, the elevator doors
opened up and Captain Dobey emerged from beyond them. The nurse at the station
looked up, and recognizing the large man, pointed him in the right direction. As Captain Dobey began to pass the
nurses station, he glanced towards the dark haired nurse and reached out his
hand to say thank you. Nods were going to
have to be good enough in this situation. There was an air of urgency in
Dobeys stride. " Hutch! " Dobey called out.
All three stopped
dead in their tracks and turned around.
Hutch spoke..." Captain. Just in time. Dr. Franklin wants to talk
to us in his office. "
"How is he?
"Dobey asked about Starsky.
" Fine
Captain. We`ll see him after." Hutch said. he continued as the four of
them resumed their task. " Ah...where`s Huggy? " he asked.
" Dropped
him off...somethin about a new waitress?... Be sure to call him though."
"Oh yeah.
Nadine....."Hutch said rolling his eyes.
Arriving at Dr. Franklins office, The
three were let in and told to take a
seat. After closing the door behind them Dr. Franklin found his seat behind his
large mohagany desk. His office was moderately decorated and furnished. Besides
his desk, there to his left was a large
bookcase with some small fiqurines and medical books on it. Right in front of his desk were two burgundy
velvet wingback chairs with a small round mohagany pedestal table in between them. There were
some hanging ferns also by the window behind his desk.
Dobey and Aurora took to the the wingback
chairs while Hutch just stood up behind them. He was too wound up to sit. Dr. Franklin spoke. " Firstly can I get
you a chair Detective?" Hutch just shook his head no and waved his right
hand in gratitude. Continuing he said " Well, I know you two." as he
pointed to Hutch and Dobey, " But " he continued, " I don`t know
you. " And with that he pointed towards Aurora.
" Well
" she said. " My name is
Aurora Madison. I am the department psychologist. Captain Dobey here had asked
me to evaluate Detective Starskys condition. We
scheduled a 10:00 am appointment for him this morning but events being
what they are have altered the evaluation.
"
Understandably so. " Dr. Franklin said. Reaching out and shaking her hand he continued "Well, It is nice
to meet you Miss Madison. Now, If we all
know each other, we should get right down to business. "
Hutch spoke
first. " Look Doc..." was all he was able to say, Dr. Franklin
spoke angrily as he interupted.
" Detective
Hutchinson! Please let me ask the questions. Okay?"
Dobey made a
motion towards Hutch for him to calm down. " C`mon Hutchinson. let the man
ask his questions. " Dobey said. Hutch paced but reluctently agreed.
Dr. Franklin looking a bit perplexed asked the
obvious..." Do any of you have any idea what would provoke an outburst
like this from someone like David ?"
Hutch spoke
first. " Look Doc, Like I was trying to tell ya before, You are just as
much in the dark as we are. All we know is what we have seen. "
Dr. Franklin
asked " And what`s that ? "
Hutch,
frustrated, looked over at Dobey..." Cap ? "
Dobey knew what
Hutch was asking...." Go on son, He needs to know."
Hutch looked
almost relieved , and with that turned towards the good Doctor and said, "
Three months ago, we were getting ready to sentence Simon Marcos..."
"The cult
leader / mass murderer ? " Dr. Franklin asked.
" Yes.
" Hutch said. Continuing he said " Anyway, to make a long story
short, Starsk was kidnapped by those freaks before sentencing. All we know is
that when we found him, they were getting ready to use him as some sort of
human sacrifice or somethin`. "
" Anything
else happen? " Franklin asked.
" That`s
just it. " Hutch said. " All we know is what he wrote in the report.
Which isn`t much. I mean he was there
for 24 hours, and his report was practically a mirror image of mine except for
a few minor incidents. After it was all over I thought it was business as
usual. Ya know? "
" So what
happened ?"
"Well,
" Hutch continued.." About a month after it all happened, I started
to notice that Starsk was`nt eatin` and not jokin` ...he was tired most of the
time , even a bit short tempered. I mean
Starsky can have a temper, but it was just about as short as a stripped live wire waiting to be tou....."
Dr. Franklin
interupted " Captain? Did`nt you look over his report ?"
Captain Dobey
looked irritated " Of course I did! Just what are you tryin` to say ?Now
look here Doc, Starsky`s one of the best
cops I got. I didn`t think he would hold anything back in his report. He`s
never given me any reason....."
Miss Madison was
watching the exchange getting a bit unnerved
" Gentlemen!
Gentlemen..." Aurora said as she waved her hands and interupted. " We
are getting away from the subject. If you ask me, I think what we have here is
a classic case of C. S. "
Everything in the room stopped. It was so
quiet you could hear a pin drop. And considering that the office was
carpeted.....well lets just say it was pretty quiet.
All eyes were on
Miss Madison. Hutch was the first to open his mouth, Moving quickly over
towards her he stepped in front of the chair and asked, " C. S. ? "
Aurora sat back
in her chair and said it slowly..." C......S.... better known gentlemen,
as Combat Stress . Like the Vietnam Veterans suffer."
Dr. Franklin
looked at her and smiled. " You know Miss Madison ? You just might be
right on this one. I never even thought of that."
Dobey just sat
taking it all in.
"Captain.
" Aurora said. " Almost all cases of
CS have the same common symptoms.....Showing up in the same time frame
as Detective Hutchinson suggests." She now rose out of her chair and
looked right at Hutch... pointing her finger straight at him she asked " Detective, I want you to
think really hard, You are the one that works the closest to him and you are
the one who probably knows him best. What else was he expressing to you? "
Oh man, She was
serious and Hutch knew it. He had to be honest.
Hutch thought for
a minute...." Well , hindsight being what it is I can see now that he was
probably a bit depressed and very paranoid. Like we were all out to get him or
something... He was quiet and withdrawn. Irritable, definately couldn`t concentrate. He didn`t even talk to me about it except
in very general terms. If I probed any
further, he just got angry and defensive
and left.
" Well there
you have it . " she said . "
You just confirmed my suspicions Ken."
Captain Dobey
asked " Can you elaborate more on
that ?"
" Sure
Captain." she said. Whatever
happened back there at the zoo three months ago was much more traumatic that
any of us know. We are just finding out that this, combat stress as it
is called, is more widespread than we know. There are certain symptoms that are
common such as nightmares, memory loss, increased irritability, insomnia,
inability to concentrate, withdrawal.....Sound familiar Detective ?" she
said as she looked over at Hutch. Hutch sat there and with an agreeing tone said " What you
are describing is exactly what he has been acting like." She continued.
" Anything that we say or do could
throw him back there. " She stood up and glanced around the room at each
of the three men.
Dr. Franklin sat
back in his chair and took a deep breath. Then said cautiously
" So ..where
do we go from here Miss. Madison ? "
Dobey and Hutch
had that same cautious yet concerned look on their faces.
Dobey said "
Miss. Madison ? "
"
Well..." she said. " It`s
pretty obvious that he won`t be able to return to work anytime soon . Right doc
? "
Dr. Franklin
said, " At least four to six weeks, plus I won`t speculate about whether
he will re-gain full control of his hands, there was certainly alot of damage.
Physical therapy will definately be needed. "
As Hutch stood
listening to this, he was crushed. He couldn`t believe what he was hearing. At
least a dozen or so emotions were attacking him at once. He did the only thing
he knew how, paced. He wanted to run, away from all of this. Back to before the Marcos sentencing. Back to where
things were " normal" and made sense.
Miss. Madison continued... saying... "So
with all of this time off ... I think we
will have ample time to get this event out onto the surface. Since we
don`t have to push it we will wait until he is awake, then we will see where he
is at. If he has any memory at all about what happened and why he is here, my
assessment will begin there. Okay Captain ? "
Dobey of course
agreed. But he looked a bit perplexed.
" Captain?
" Aurora asked. " You look as if you have a question. "
Dobey looked at
her and said " Well, How are we supposed to re-act to him ? I mean, If he
has no memory at all of what happened and why, then what do we tell him ?"
" Don`t you
worry, I will be there with you when he wakes up. And besides, he is being kept
sedated for his own protection. Just until we know that he is not in danger of
physical harm. That is a real possibility with CS cases. Especially if his
memories return all together at once. He will be frustrated at them and want to
rid himself of them by any means possible. I suspect that is what happened back
at his apartment. "
Hutch continued
to pace, in an aggravated tone he says
" So what the hell are we supposed to do in the meantime ?"
Aurora turned and
faced Hutch, then she placed a caring hand on his shoulder. With a look of
genuine concern and understanding, she said
" Listen Detective , I know you have alot of mixed feelings going
on right now, but I have to tell you honestly....This trip... it will not be an
easy one. It is going to be hard on everyone involved. David is very unstable
right now and we have to support him in whatever way we can for however long it
takes. It`s us that undoubtedly will have to carry most of the burden for a
while, but I promise you that it will all pay off in the end. Can you hang on
for a while more ? How much is knowing
David worth to you ? Would he do the same for you if the situation was reversed ?"
Well, Ken
Hutchinson didn`t know what to say. In one brief moment Aurora had summed up
everything he was thinking and feeling. Only she did it with a level of grace
and professionalism that could only come from the heart of a woman who loves
what she does.
While he stood
there he looked at her, grabbed her hands,
held them firmly, and with a sense of genuine relief said "You know Miss. Madison.... I don`t
believe there could be any other answer but... yes.......of course I can.
"
With that , Hutch
and Aurora just knew.....
David would be
alright.....it would be a hard fight,
but together they would see that he would be alright.
Chapter 19
1 pm.
Heading out of the office , all four people seemed to display, at the
very least, a sense of temporary relief. Starsky was not going to die, at least
not physically, and that was important to Hutch. What had been discussed in Dr.
Franklins office was Starsky`s emotional state, and Hutch was concerned about
that. He had never heard of combat stress and the term alone scared the hell
out of him. And yet still, he couldn`t shake the sense of betrayal that he felt
he had caused between his partner and him.
Dobey placed a
hand on Hutch`s shoulder and told him that he had to be heading back to Metro,
but he made Hutch promise to keep him updated on Starsky`s condition.
" Son, you
gotta let me know how he`s doing. Okay? And tell him I said I hope he feels
better " Dobey said with a half-hearted smile. Hutch looked at him and
shook his head to let his captain know that he heard him, but his mind was with
his partner.
Dr. Franklin had
more rounds to do so he just walked around Hutch and Dobey and headed straight
for the elevators.
" So
Detective? Goin` over to see your friend? " Came Aurora`s soft voice.
Hutch turned
around just as Aurora was placing a comforting arm around him.
"
Yeah.." he replied in a reserved tone.
" Oh come on
Hutch, there`s nothing to worry about. David is gonna be fine ...you`ll
see."
" You
know...I wish I could believe that....you didn`t see him...ya know...back at
the apartment...."
Aurora knew that
Hutch needed to vent so she let him go it.
Hutch
flashed Aurora an apologetic look "Oh I`m sorry Miss. Madison , I didn`t
mean to...."
Looking right
into his baby blues and moving her hands up to his, as she took his hands in
hers , she interrupted him and said " Detective....It`s all right...I
understand." She let go of his hands and pointed her left hand down the
hall. She flashed him a small smile and continued saying " Now , I am
going down the hall there, to get myself a nice big cup of coffee. You,on the
other hand, are going to go to Davids room because if you don`t you will be
riddled with guilt if he wakes up and you`re not there. I`ll be right back. "
< God it`s
scary he thought to himself...how she knows what I am feeling....>
Before she took
off after the coffee she continued " Do you want some coffee? "
" No "
he said. " I just need to get to
Starsk. "
" Then go
will ya...whadya standin` here for..."
Hutch wrapped his
hand gently around her upper arm and gave a gentle squeeze... his eyes met hers
and with an appreciative tone said " Thanks. "
At the entrance
of Starsky`s room Hutch stopped before entering. He had to regain his
composure. Brushing his hair back, he opened the door to Starsky`s room and
went on inside.
As he continued to push the door open ,Hutch
stepped into the room with some reserve. There before him, once again was his
friend. < Jesus, Aurora`s right, he
thought. We are gonna have to be strong
for him. >
He just didn`t
know how strong......
The room was just
as ordinary as any other hospital room. Not pleasing to the eye, yet calming
just the same. It was dimly lit and the shades on the window were partly drawn.
The off white color on the walls was the perfect compliment to the small soft floral spray that was on the wall directly
across from where the bed was.On the right hand side of the bed was a small
table with a light and a phone along with a small silver bowl that had a white
cloth folded neatly and hanging off the side. There was a single chair in the
corner for a tired and weary visitor.
The only sound in
that room at that moment was the continuous blip from the heart monitor.
Hutch had slowly
made his way to the side of the bed and just looked down at his partner. He had
definately been experiencing some restless
sleep patterns...his tightly closed eyes were a testimony to that . He
knew he wasn`t going to die but that still didn`t ease the guilt he felt...
< "Christ Starsk." he thought..".why didn`t I make you talk to me?... What the hell
happened back there that`s caused you to be bound up like this? "> He
reached down and gently touched his arm, as he knew that Davids hands were at
the moment confined. Just as he pulled back his hand, Aurora came in. She
walked over to the window and placed the coffee she had down on the sill and
moved over to him She placed her arm
around the small of his back and said.
" Ken ?"
" Huh ?
" he said.
"How`s he
doin` ? "
" Oh pretty
good for now. I guess. But he`s not awake yet. " he
said with a deep sigh.
" Who`s not
awake yet ? " came a raspy voice out of no-where.
" Starsky ?
"
" Yeah
blondie ? " And with that came a realization of where he was and of the
pain in his hands. " Oh....my hands..."
" Stay still
partner. They`re bandaged up. "
Trying to sit up
in the bed without much success he said " What the hell is thi---"
Hutch quickly
bent over the bed and put his hands on Starskys shoulders to keep him from hurting his hands any
further. " Wait a minute
partner...where do you think you`re goin` ? "
Laying back down
in the bed Starsky asked again..." What the hell is this Hutch?"
Hutch just looked
over at Aurora and shrugged. His eyes spoke volumes to her.
She moved in front of Hutch and said " David, You
are in the hospital. Do you remember what
brought you here ? "
Starsky got real
quiet for a moment and just stared...looking back and forth from Aurora to
Hutch he slowly was beginning to remember the details of what had happened
earlier in the day.
The room was so
quiet you could hear a pin drop. All of the realities were coming back to him
and the emotions were beginning to show through his countenence.
He looked at the
both of them and suddenly spoke. " Get outta here. Get the hell outta here ! " Hutch was confused. " Starsky ?
What ? What did you say ? "
Quickly Aurora
grabbed Hutch`s arm and led him out of the room. On the way out Hutch turned
around and looked at his friend. " Come on Starsky! " was all he could
say. Auroras grip on his arm got tighter as she finally got through the door into the hallway with Hutch.
" Dammit
Hutch ! Calm down. " she said.
" C -- Calm
down. " he said. He finally released himself from her grip. Flailing his
arms around and pacing in the heat of the moment he turned towards
Aurora and said " Would you mind explaining to me what the hell just happened in there! "
Beth appeared in
the hallway. " What`s going on ? " she said.
Aurora spoke,
" David`s woke up. "
Beth knew what
she had to do so she went back to the desk and called for Dr. Franklin. "
Stay out of that room. " she insisted.
Within minutes Dr. Franklin appeared and
he and Beth disappeared into Davids room.
Hutch was with Aurora in the hall.
" Okay
Aurora, are you going to fill me in or what ? "
Aurora sighed.
" Okay Ken, here it is. I told you
from the beginning that this was`nt gonna be easy. From my point of view
though, this actually is better than it seems.
"
Hutch stopped his
pacing and looked at her. " What ? Better ? How so ? "
" Hutch...think about it. By his initial
reaction his memory of what happened is intact. That is great news. That means
I don`t have to spend weeks trying to get him to remember what happened. What I
have to do is get him to talk about the details of what happened. I can`t do
that without your help." Hutch was pacing again. Aurora reached out and
grabbed Hutch`s arm and drew him back towards her so that he was directly in
front of her again. Sternly she said " Hutch! Do you hear me? I need your
help. If you get all worked up you will push him away. David is still unstable but at least he knows
why. He is covering it up. He needs his friend.....not a demanding parent.
There must have been a tremendous amount of suffering that he saw. Groups like
that use manipulation to accomplish their goals. They find a vulnerable spot in
a person and cling to it until it brings about the desired result. "
Hutch didn`t know
what to do or say for that matter. " So ...what you`re saying is that
...all of this is actually good ? I don`t understand Aurora. I just don`t understand." He dropped his
head as if he had caused the loss of the biggest game of the year.
Aurora moved in
closer to Hutch She reached out and took hold of his hands and said " I
know you don`t Ken. But can you at least trust me ? Look at me Ken." she
pleaded...." Just trust me ...okay? "
With that Dr.
Franklin and Beth emerged from Starsky`s room.
" How is he
doc ? "Hutch asked
" Well we
just gave him some more sedative. "
" Can we go
back in and see him ? "
"
Detective...Why don`t you go and call your captain, He will want to know that
David has woken up. "
Hutch looked at
Dr. Franklin and asked again, " Can we go back in and see him?"
Dr. Franklin
moved over to Hutch and with a stern look in his eye said,
" I think
you better wait a bit on that one detective. I think you better wait."
Hutch stood there
in the hallway. Dr. Franklin had now begun to head down the hallway...Beth was
going in and out of Starsky`s room. And he was left there...standing in the
cold hospital corridor with a new confusion., a new hell. He felt pushed
aside.....forgotten...
Aurora had some
task ahead of her.
Back inside the
sterile hospital room there was David. Laying on the bed, quite aware of his
demons. Quite aware of his frailty. He lay there allowing silent tears to fall
from his eyes. He knew what had to be done. In order for him to regain his
resolve , he had to do the one thing he feared the most. He had to come clean.
He had to let go. Letting go meant that he had to tell Hutch and Aurora the
truth. And the truth was that he was weak,
the truth was that he couldn`t save Gail from the hideous actions of
those decietful vultures. The truth was
that he had to live with the fact that he had failed.
He felt
.......inadequate. But there was that small part of him that knew he had to do
this.
***********************************************************************************************
Before you continue to read this, you should know
that there are references contained within my story that some of you might not
understand. MHE Priest has written a
Bicentennial Summer Story called IMMERSION. It is written in three parts
...Part 1 WHITE , Part 2 RED, and Part 3 BLUE, This series that she wrote is
her " Prequel " to Bloodbath and my story " This War is Over " is
my " Sequel " to Bloodbath. Without knowing it we both had
started these stories and It had occured to me that since my version had to
have Starsky in therapy dealing with what had happened, then I could draw on
what Maria had written. I ENCOURAGE everyone who has read my story through to
Chapter 19, to go and read Maria Priest`s IMMERSION before you continue on with
mine. It will help some of my details to make sense to you ..."the
reader". The URL is
(http://www.geocities.com/mhepriest/immersion1.html)
***********************************************************************************************
Dedication
I wish to
dedicate the rest of my "epic " to all of the readers who have been
sooooo very patient with me. I am forever thankful. And I also wish to dedicate the rest of this
to MHE Priest who once again has given me constant support as well as
constructive criticsm. She also provided me with IMMERSION. Without knowing
it we had created a "whole"
storyline. Thousands of miles away we sat alone at our perspective computers
creating our stories, and by some
strange " karmic " co-incidence we managed to hook up and share what we
were doing. I saw in her story Immersion that her details would be the key to
explaining why Starsky withdrew. So
thank you Maria for giving me more fuel for my story. You are a wealth of
information and you are the invisible driving force behind my writing.
Thank You.
LAM
Chapter 20
With Dobey having
been called, Hutch now was free to make his way back to Davids room. As he
approached, he noticed that Aurora was just coming out.
" Aurora ?
" he asked. " How`s he doin` ? ".
"
Well...He`s definately calmed down. But he`s confused. " she said.
Taking hold of
Hutch`s hands and looking into his eyes she continued
"Ken...I told you this was gonna take
some time. Things like this just don`t blow over. And while it`s true that he
remembers what happened, he`s just not quite ready to deal with it all. "
Hutch gave
another gentle squeeze to her hands and tried his best to hide his frustration.
Aurora sensed this, reached out and placed her right hand under his chin and raised his head a bit.
" You know ? " she said. " It`s alright for you to feel
frustrated. Just like it`s alright for David to feel worthless. We are talking
about acceptance Hutch. I am not saying by any means that he should stay in
that state, but we need to give him enough room to breathe. It`s only been a few
hours." Hutch just looked at her
and then said " I know that. But
...you know...It`s just that...well...He`s my...." And with that Hutchs
frustration drew near to the surface. He moved a step away from Aurora, turned
and threw his fist into the wall.
Aurora looked
once again at him and drew nearer to him. Looking into his sad, confused eyes
she said softly " your
friend. your brother. your partner. I
can see this Ken. You need him back. Only guess what...He needs you back too.
"
Having her
opportunity she grabbed Hutch by both arms and reminded him " I told you
this wasn`t gonna be easy . Hang in there Hutch and you two will come
through this together. I promise " she said as she gently stroked the side
of his face. " Now look, Why don`t you go home and try to rest. He`ll come
around."
Hutch shrugged
his shoulders and said " yeah, he will. But please call me ? "
" I will
Hutch .....I will. "
So much
frustration, So much anger. And So many memories. Aurora knew that David had
been covering up alot but she also knew that Hutch was burying his feelings.
Each man carrying his own weight, and each man handling it in his own way.
For
Starsky, he had another two weeks to go.
Dr. Franklin wanted to make sure that his hands were free of infection
and that the stiches were holding.
Aurora came in everyday for about an hour at
around 10:00am. For two weeks their sessions had been good. But aside from the
general issues there had been very little progress made. Aurora knew that if
there was to be any progress at all, then she was going to have to step things
up a bit and today she was going to see to it that he understood that.
As she entered
his room once again, she saw him laying on the bed looking towards the window.
As the door shut she had began to feel that things were different already.
As she approached
his bed she could see that he had been crying.
" David ?
" she said reaching out towards him " What is it ? "
" Leave me
alone Aurora. " he said quietly.
" Come on David, you know I can`t do
that. "
"Just go
please ?"
" After all
we`ve been through ? No way.
Besides....I am just beginning to understand why Hutch likes you so
much. "
David turned and
looked at her..." Oh yeah.." he said " and why is that ? "
" Come on,
You really need me to tell you that ?
" I need you
to tell me alot of things Aurora ! "he said.
" Okay David
....what is this really about ? "
" Huh ! What
is this real--- D`you wanna know what this is all about ?"
" Yeah.
David I do. "
" Okay,
Okay. But prepare yourself because it`s not pretty. "
" Amuse me
David. I can handle it. "
" Okay, Last
night Dobey came by with his family. And I was okay with it until ..."
Aurora sat
waiting with anticipation for David`s first big step. She wanted to coax it out
of him but she knew it had to come from him.
Davids face began
to change.....His adams apple was beginning to bob...He looked away from Aurora
towards the window as if looking for some help.
".....until
that dumb picture... "he said quietly
"What dumb
picture ?" she said puzzled.
" Come on
David, Don`t stop now. " she said quietly yet hopefully.
David looked a
bit un-nerved. Aurora could tell that there was still a part of him that didn`t want to deal with all of this.
But she knew he had to ..... and so did he.
Giving in to his
sense of vulnerability, he said " It was just a picture Aurora, that Rosie
made. I mean she`s just eight years old , she didn`t know what it would do to
me. "
" And it did
what ? David. "
" She`s
adopted me as her Uncle. Why do I deserve that ?"
" David, I
want you to stop being evasive and focus on the real issue here. Okay honey.
"
That kind of made
Starsky mad....He looked right into Auroras eyes and said ."The real issue
? Okay... you want the real issue ? ....."
Aurora had successfully manipulated Davids memory so
that he could bring it out.
He
continued...." Don`t you get it ?The real issue here Aurora isn`t Rosie
Dobey or her picture.....it`s that madman Marcos and the family he and his freaks slaughtered
! "
By now he was
drenched in sweat. He was visibly shaken.
He continued
" You see, Rosie`s drawing was of her family, nine of them, including
Hutch and.....me...... But I couldn`t see that Aurora...All I saw was The Fox
Family. I saw .....all nine of those people and the mutilated condition those
freaks left them in. Okay.....That`s
the real issue .....That`s why I was crying....That`s why I`m here."
Between his tears and his anger was his
honesty. He looked once again towards
the window.
Aurora was simply ecstatic. Finally the
breakthrough that will bring the rest to the surface.
" David.
" she said while she ran her fingers through his black curly locks, "
Don`t look away. "
" Don`t look
away ? You tell me why I shouldn`t
" he said.
"I want you
to know that you took a big step here today. What you have done was to open a
doorway that will enable you to unload all of this crap. "
David knew what
she was saying was right. But he couldn`t truly process it all. After all he
still had a whole bunch of memories that he had to come to terms with. Memories that he had successfully hidden from
the masses. Memories that he needed now
to set him free.
David looked
towards her , reached up and took her hand. He was tired and she could see
that. All he could say was " Hutch ? "
Aurora looked
down at him and said " Yes David. I`ll tell him you`re okay. "
As Aurora left,
she looked back at him. He is an angel with broken wings. she thought to
herself. Someone up there is looking out
for him.
Back inside the
room, David thought about what happened. He thought about The picture that
Rosie had brought him the night before, The one that had thrown him back to the
beginning of the Marcos ordeal. She didn`t do it on purpose and he knew that.
But The demons that go along with Marcos and his cult seemed determined enough
to make him their " Pet Project ". And he wondered if he would ever
be free of them. A tear escaped from his eye. No matter what Aurora said he
felt that freedom from these demons was painfully evasive. Evasive because there was one memory in
particular that he was determined to avoid and keep hidden. And he was good at that. Escape and evasion
is a tactical strategy that he learned in Vietnam, and he prided himself on his
learning ability. David Starsky was good at doing what he needed to
do.......Damn good.
But could his
determination hold ?
Chapter 21
Hutch was still staying over at Starskys
apartment . He wanted to clean the place up for his friend before he came home
and with Starsky being in the hospital for the past two and a half weeks he had all the time in the world. He had
just finished up putting in the new bathroom cabinet { which was the
last of it } Now he was sitting down on
the couch, exhausted , besides, staying there helped him to
feel connected to his friend.. *** It should have never happened *** he thought
to himself. *** It`s not fair...for Starsk to suffer like this. *** He had seen Starsky conquer most everything
else that he had to deal with, but this case was different...Starsky had
personalized it. Something that an officer of the law should never do. None-the-less, his partner had.
What is it about his partner that Marcos wants
? He thought.
All Hutch could
do was wait...sit and wait. And that was getting more frustrating by the
minute. Just when he thought he couldn`t stand it anymore the phone rang.
Jumping off the
couch and running to where the phone was, Hutch ran his fingers through his
blonde locks and took a deep breath before he answered.
" Hello ?
" he said trying to sound calm.
The delicate
female tone on the other end of the phone told Hutch who it was.
" Hutch
? Is that you ? "
" Aurora ! I
was going out of my mind. How is he ? "
" Oh Hutch,
I have wonderful news! I think he has made a breakthrough. "
" Great !
what happened ? "
" Oh
Sweetie...You know he has remembered all the way back to the beginning. "
she said in an exhilarated tone. " That is so exciting Hutch! "
Hutch went to the
kitchen and turned the water on for coffee " So what does this mean ?
" he said to her.
" Well, I
can tell you like I did before that his memory is intact and that is going to
save us alot of time. But, He is trying very hard not to remember things.
Hutch, he`s angry and scared. That`s why it is important for you to hang in
there. No-one
who sees him
should be obtrusive in any way. He will percieve that to be an
"invasion"of
his "private" territory.
Anything like that could throw us all back...back to a place where
no-one would want to be. "
" I
understand that Aurora, but is he ready to see me ? I mean it`s been just about three
weeks." Hutch asked tentatively.
" We
discussed that later on and ....Hutch...I think that David and I agree that
right now probably wouldn`t be good. He
is still angry at you. He still sees you as his betrayer................"
There it was
..that word...Betrayer.....Thoughts flooded
back to his memory about that day not long ago when he stood in Dobeys
office and sold out his best friend.
The look in
Starskys eyes when Dobey told him that he was suspended. Total devastation. The
look of disappointment in his eyes when
Dobey asked Starsky for his weapon and his badge. And the look of absolute
confusion when he watched him leave the station. "Why`d you do it
Hutchinson?" he thought.
Hutch couldn`t hear one word that Aurora was
saying because all he heard was that word.....Betrayer...If he could, he would
take it all back. But he couldn`t......it was already done....Judas had done
his job.
"................but
I believe that you will see him soon Hutch. Can you trust me ?"
" Hutch ?
" she said.
" Hutch ?
"she said, with a bit of alarm in her voice.
" Hutch ?
Are you there ?"
Coming out of his
trancelike state he said " Huh ? Oh yeah..... I`m here. Just drifted off track
for a minute. But I`m here. "
Hutch was a good
liar. For the moment anyway.
" Did you
hear me tell you that you should be able to see him soon? "
Hutch`s tone
sounded different than before. He was more quiet, reflective.
" yeah. Just
do me one favor......"
"Sure
sweetie, name it. " she said.
" When you
see him tomorrow.......tell him.......I said....... I`m Sorry.
And before Aurora
got a chance to answer Hutch, she heard the gentle sound of the phone being put
back into it`s cradle. As she placed her reciever back into it`s own cradle a
single tear fell from her eye. Love in it`s purest form is
such a beautiful thing that people may only get to see once in their
lifetime. And this was her time to see.
The next day,
Aurora maintained her optimism. On her way to see David at the Hospital, she
stopped off to see Capt. Dobey. After assuring him that his young detective was
doing well, She asked him to call the Bay City Morgue. She wanted to get a copy
of the medical examiners reports. She
said she would pick it up on her way home later that evening. Captain Dobey was
more than willing to oblige.