The Memory of Silence

By

Cynthia

            Hutch had remembered her.  He remembered it had been two years ago and he would never forget the devastated look in her eyes as they had taken her away by ambulance.  He closed his eyes against the memory and wished he could just block it out.  He knew he couldn’t with the reports sitting on his desk.  The black and white photos brought a stark reminder of the hell she had went through that night.  He angrily grabbed the file and slammed it shut.

            Starsky’s head shot up and he could see that the case they had spent so much time on was getting to his partner and best friend.

            “Hutch”, Starsky asked.  “Are you okay?”

            “Yeah.  I guess reviewing this case before we go to trial is just getting to me.  I really want this guy to fry for what he did.”

            Starsky nodded and the memories also came back.  A serial rapist and murderer had gone on a rampage.  He had raped and murdered six women in two months.  The break in the case had finally come when one woman had somehow survived.  She had been raped and the animal had left her for dead.  His attempt at strangling this young woman had failed.  The detectives were able to track him down and arrest him.

            After doing so, the scumbag had somehow managed to hire one of the best attorneys in the city.  The trial had been delayed so many times and speculation was building if there would even be a trial.

            “Hey”, Starsky said.  “Let’s get out of here and grab a beer.  You look like you could use one.”

            Hutch nodded and both men grabbed their jackets on the way out the door.  While Starsky drove he looked over at Hutch who was staring out the window.

            “I can see that brain of yours is working overtime over there, buddy.  Want to let me in on it?”

            “Starsk, that woman has to testify tomorrow.”

            “Yeah”, Starsky said with a sigh.  “She’ll have to look that piece of shit during her testimony.”

            “She can’t talk, Starsk.”

            “I thought she was getting some voice back.”

            “No”, Hutch said with a sigh.  “They thought so a while back.  I talked to the doc and he said it was permanent.  Last I heard she was working at a school for the deaf.”

            “So how does she testify?”

            “Through an interpreter”, Hutch told him.  “I guess she’ll use sign language to explain what happened to her that night.”

            “Jesus”, Starsky breathed.  “She’ll have to relive that entire night right in front of an entire courtroom, the press and the whole damn city.”

            Hutch was silent and neither spoke about a case which had deeply disturbed them during their investigation.  Early the next morning Starsky and Hutch arrived at the courthouse.  They managed to avoid the press, but when they saw the young woman walking forward with the D.A. next to her, the press was relentless. 

            Hutch found himself mesmerized by the soft green eyes of the young woman.  To him they spoke volumes of her fear and the overwhelming desire to run the other direction.

            Less than an hour later they were sitting in the courtroom. 

            “The prosecution calls Caitlin Wilder.”

            Hutch looked over as the young woman with the soft green eyes and honey blonde hair slowly walked forward.  He saw the interpreter standing not far from her.  The prosecutor stood and walked over to Caitlin.

            “Would you please state your name for the record”, She asked Caitlin.

            Hutch watched as she used sign language to spell her name and the interpreter repeated it.  He didn’t know sign language and right now he wished he did.

            “Ms. Wilder, I know this will be extremely difficult for you, but we need you to recount everything that happened to you on the night of October 11^th, 1975.”

            Hutch closely studied her as she took a deep breath and began.

            “I had gotten off of work a little late that day.  One of my students was having a problem and I needed to talk to his mother.  She was late arriving at the school.  It was almost six when I got home.”

            “Now”, the prosecutor asked.  “When you arrived home, was everything as you would expect it?”

            “Yes”, she signed for her.  “I picked up the mail and when I walked in my house, I watered my plants.  I always did that when I got home from work.  It relaxed me.  It helped me to wind down after a rough day.”

            Hutch wondered if she talked to her plants and he almost smiled at the thought.

            “The evening was going fine.  I made a salad for dinner…then I went to take a shower.”

            Hutch furrowed his eyebrows and he knew there was something else.  She had done something else, but he had no idea what it was.

            “What happened after the shower?”

            Hutch watched as she took another deep breath and held her hands in her lap tightly.  He knew this was it.  Hell was about to begin.

            “I made myself some tea and sat on the couch to grade some papers.  At first, I had no idea anyone was there and then I saw a shadow from the lamp.  It moved.  I started to turn and he hit me from behind.  It wasn’t hard, it threw me from the couch.  I looked up and there he was.”

            Everyone could see that Caitlin was staring at the man sitting next to his attorney.

            “I tried to run to the phone and he grabbed it before I got to it.  He yanked it out of the wall.  I was trying to get away from him and he grabbed my hair.”

            “Did the defendant say anything to you?”

            “He said you’re mine bitch.”

            Hutch could see the emotion in her eyes and he almost stood up and felt a hand on his arm.  He looked over and saw Starsky.  She has to do this, buddy.

Doesn’t mean I have to like it.

            “He pulled me back in the bedroom by my hair and threw me on the bed.  I tried to fight him and he hit me several times across the face.”

            “Do you know how many times”, the prosecutor asked.

            “I think it was five or six times.  I’m not sure.”

            “What happened next”, the prosecutor gently asked.

            “He started pulling my robe off and he…”

            “I know this is difficult, Caitlin, but you have to tell the jury everything that happened.”

            Hutch clenched his teeth as he watched her take several deep breaths.

            “He took the tie from my robe and tied my hands behind my back.  I tried kicking at him, but he grabbed my throat and told me he would kill me.  He tried to kiss me and I wouldn’t let him.  He grabbed my breast and I screamed.  He covered my mouth with his hand and he spread my legs apart.”

            By that time, Caitlin’s eyes were quickly filling with tears.  The people in the court room were shaken by the way every emotion she was feeling was expressed with her eyes and the signs with her hands.

            “What happened next, Ms. Wilder?”

            “He…”

            Hutch closed his eyes as she brought her hands to her mouth.  He opened them back up and she had a panicked look in her eyes.

            “Caitlin”, the prosecutor told her.  “You have to tell us.  Please.”

            “He put his penis inside of me.”

            The devastated look in her eyes brought Hutch back to the night him and Starsky had arrived at the scene.  She now had the same look in her eyes.  Her silent sobs had brought everyone in the courtroom to a standstill.

            “He kept doing it and he kept doing.  I wanted to beg him to stop, but I couldn’t talk.”

            The prosecutor walked over and put a gentle hand on Caitlin’s hand.

            “What happened next?”

            “He was still inside me when I felt his hands around my throat.  All I could do was look at him while I couldn’t breath.”

            “Had he ejaculated?”

            “I think so.”

            “I tried to move, but I couldn’t.  My hands were tied.  And all I could think of was seeing my mom before I died.  I just wanted to see my mom before I died.”

            The tears were pouring down her face and Hutch wished he could just take the pain away and he had no idea of how to do it.

            “Ms. Wilder, is the man who did this in the courtroom?”

            Caitlin gave a shaky nod.

            “Please point him out.”

            Hutch watched as the determination and the anger erupted in her eyes.  She slowly stood and her eyes never left the man who had tried to kill her.  The movement of her arm was slow and deliberate as she pointed out the man who had brutally raped her and almost killed her. 

            The prosecutor walked over and helped Caitlin sit down.  As she walked to her desk.

            “The victim has pointed to the defendant Aaron James Casey.  You’re honor, I have no more questions.”

            The D.A. sat down at her table.

            “Mr. Conner”, the judge said.  “You’re witness.”

            “You’re honor”, the lawyer said.  “We’d like a recess please.”

            “Thirty minutes”, the judge told him and pounded the gavel.

            Hutch rose and he couldn’t get out of the courtroom fast enough.  He found a restroom and took a few minutes to compose himself.  He washed his face and when he stepped out of the restroom, he could hear Casey’s attorney talking to another lawyer.

            “I won’t cross examine her”, Conner told the other lawyer.  “If we do, it’ll sink us.  That jury will come back with a guilty verdict so quick we’ll think we were back in law school.”

            “You can do some damage with that testimony”, the lawyer told him.

            “Sure I could, but did you see her and those damn green eyes!  It doesn’t help matters she can’t even speak.  If I went after her, we’ll be worse than the guy who did this!”

            “So what are you going to do?”

            “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.  I’m going after the cop.  He gets on that stand and I’ll tear his case to shreds.”

            Hutch sighed as he listened to him.  Another time and another day, he’d be dragging the piece of human waste to the nearest sewer.  He looked up and watched as Starsky walked over carrying a candy bar.

            “You okay”, Starsky asked.

            “I’m fine.  I need to talk to the D.A.”

            “What’s up?”

            “I just heard the defense attorneys talking.  They’re gunning for me.”

            “Nothing you haven’t handled before, partner.”

            “This is different, Starsky.  That girl’s testimony has me pretty rattled.  Almost this whole case hinges on that girl’s testimony and if I screw up my end, he could walk.”

            “Pal, she did a great job in there.  I’m surprised she held up as well as she did.”

            “She sure did.  It was something watching her stand up and point that sleaze out.”

            Hutch wanted to smile at the sight he had witnessed but he felt too tired to even do that.  He admired her courage in the presence of the fear he knew she had to be feeling.

            Starsky pointed the D.A. out to him and the both of them walked over to her.

            “Mrs. Matthews”, Starsky said.  “How does it look?”

            “I’m not sure yet”, she told them.  “I’m hoping that the opposing council doesn’t decide to cross examine.  I don’t think Caitlin could take being grilled by him.”

            “I overheard him talking”, Hutch told her.  “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.”

            “That’s good.  She’s been through too much”, she told him mysteriously.

            “Well, he’s got his eyes on another target”, Starsky told her.

            “Oh?”

            “He’s coming after me”, Hutch told her. 

            “I think we’re ready”, the D.A. told him.  “We’ve gone over this case every which way I can think of.”

            “What are you worried about”, Starsky asked.

            “Conner is good.  I’ve gone up against him before and it didn’t end pretty.”

            “Where’s Caitlin Wilder”, Hutch asked.

            “I wanted to send her home, but she wants to stay.  She wants to see him pay for not only what he did to her, but also those other women.”

            “I’d like to talk to her”, Hutch said.

            “I think that’s fine.”

            The D.A. looked at her watch.

            “Gentlemen, I think it’s about time we made our way back inside.”

            Hutch looked around and didn’t see Caitlin.  He turned around and followed Starsky back inside the courtroom.  He saw her sitting almost directly behind the prosecution.  The judge came back in the room and court was called back into session.

            “Mr. Conner.”

            “Yes, your honor.  We have no questions for Caitlin Wilder.”

            Hutch didn’t realize he had been holding his breath until the attorney made the statement.  When his name was called he looked over at Starsky who gave him a thumbs up.  He took the oath, stated his name and the relevant information needed to establish himself as lead investigator for this case.  Mrs. Matthews cross examined him about the case and he spent the next hour going over the details of Caitlin Wilder’s attack.  It all seemed so cut and dry.  To the jury, Hutch came across as intelligent and thoughtful.     

       When she finished, the defense attorney rose and began.  It all had started out rather well and before Hutch realized it, the attorney was pulling out every single thread that didn’t match with some other piece of minute evidence.  Even though she had pulled his picture from a mug book and then identified him in a line up, the defense attorney picked at every piece of evidence. 

            He called into Hutch’s experience, integrity and honesty.  Hutch could feel his frustration growing as the time passed on the stand.  Outside he was a picture of a professional detective, but on the inside he was seething.  By the time the attorney was finished, with him, the few tiny holes the attorney had discovered, he had turned them into mountainous holes big enough to drive a semi through.

            Almost four hours later, Hutch left the stand drained.  As he walked over, he looked over at Caitlin and he wanted to smile at the understanding in her eyes.  He sat down next to Starsky and sighed.

            You did great, buddy.

            But was it good enough?

            A few days later trial had finally ended.  Now it was up to the jury.  Hutch would look at his watch and pace the hallways of the precinct.  He finally walked back to his desk and sat down.  He looked up when Starsky set a cup of coffee in front of him.

            “It’s been two days, Starsk.  Everyone knows this piece of shit did this.  He murdered those women and he damn near killed Caitlin Wilder.”

            “You know how this stuff goes, Hutch.  The jury is going over everything.”

            “I just have a bad feeling about this, Starsky.”

            Starsky wanted to tell Hutch it’ll be okay, but with as much as an emotional stake both detectives had in it, he knew it wouldn’t help matters.  They could only hope the jury saw what they saw.  This guy was guilty.

            The phone ran and Starsky grabbed it.  Hutch watched as Starsky said yes and we’ll be right there.

            “The jury is in, buddy.  Let’s go.”

            Hutch sat nervously in the courtroom.  His palms felt sweaty and he rubbed them on his jeans.  He looked over as Caitlin walked into the courtroom with the D.A.  She patted Caitlin on the shoulder and both women sat down in their perspective places.  After what seemed to be an eternity, the judge and jury were settled in their seats.  Finally the foreman stood up holding a piece of paper in his hand.

            “Have you reached a verdict”, the judge asked.

            “Your Honor, this jury has been unable to reach a verdict.”

            The courtroom was stunned at the sudden announcement.  Suddenly people began talking and relatives of the deceased women were crying.  The judge pounded the gavel and ordered the lawyers to approach his bench.

            Hutch looked over at Starsky who had the same shocked look on his face.  He turned back and saw Caitlin.  She was frantically looking around the room and Hutch could see the panic rising in her eyes. 

            After a few moments the lawyers were back at their tables.  Hutch looked up at the judge who had a weary look on his face.  He could feel an icy grip on his heart.

            “Case dismissed”, the judge said angrily. 

            He pounded his gavel and stormed from the room.

            Hutch watched as Caitlin ran from the courtroom.  He was leaving to catch up with her when the D.A. stepped in front of him.

            “What the hell happened”, he yelled.

            “The jury couldn’t reach a verdict”, she sighed.  “The defense attorneys wanted us to declare a mistrial and we couldn’t let that happen.”

            “What are you talking about”, Starsky said impatiently.

            “If we declared a mistrial, it would be over.  We couldn’t touch him even if we had a full blown confession.  At least this way, there’s still a chance.”

            “A chance”, Hutch breathed.  “The case is dismissed.”

            “It’s dismissed.  That means you boys will have to make a new case.”

            Starsky and Hutch looked at each other.

            “There is still a chance we can nail this bastard for these murders.”

            “Shit”, Starsky cursed.

            “We had a pretty good chance of connecting him with these murders if we’d gotten him on Caitlin Wilder’s rape and attempted murder.  With a hung jury and the case dismissed, there isn’t a chance in hell now.  You both will need to start over on this case and hopefully you can find some new evidence.”

            “Wait a sec”, Hutch said. “If we by some miracle find some new evidence and there’s another trial, what happens?  Will Caitlin Wilder have to testify again?”

            Hutch watched a heavy sigh escape her.

            “I’m afraid so”, she confirmed.

            Starsky and Hutch watched the defeated D.A. leave and both men sat in the chairs of the now empty courtroom.

            “I’d hate to see her have to go through this all over again”, Starsky told Hutch.

            “God, I know.  Jesus, Starsk.  If you had seen the panic in her face when she saw what was happening.”

            Starsky nodded and sighed.

            “Come on, buddy.  Let’s nail this bastard.”

            Hutch nodded and both men stood.  As they walked out of the courtroom, Hutch knew he would never forget those haunting green eyes.

            Neither detective were in any mood to go to Huggy’s as had been the plan earlier in the day.  Both men sat at their desks neither speaking nor even looking at the stacks of files from the case.  Dobey walked out of his office and when he saw both men silently sitting at their desks, he walked over to them.

            “I heard about what happened”, he told them.  “It’s a tough break.”

            “Cap’n, this was the best chance we had to tie Casey to those murders.  All we needed was a guilty verdict”, Hutch told him sadly.

            “I hate to say this”, Dobey said.  “But we all knew this was the chance we were taking when the D.A. started this trial.”

            “Cap’n”, Starsky said.  “Caitlin Wilder ID’d the guy in the courtroom.  She testified against this rancid piece of shit and it didn’t do one damn bit of good.”

            “I’d like to know who actually thought he was not guilty”, Hutch muttered.

            “Why don’t the two of you go home”, Dobey told them.  “Give yourself a breather before you start in on this.”

            Starsky looked over at Hutch who had grabbed a file from the stack.  He was leaning forward with his hands on his forehead and intently studying the report.

            “Hutch”, Starsky stated.

            “Yeah”, Hutch replied still reading. 

            “Dobey’s right.  Let’s get out of here and tackle this tomorrow.”

            “Go ahead, Starsk.  I’d like to spend a couple of hours on this to familiarize myself with this case.”

            “Hutch, I know it’s probably pointless of me to tell you this, but this wasn’t your fault.”

            “Starsky, I screwed up on this one and that creep is walking the street.  He’s probably looking for a new victim as we speak.”

            “He won’t get very far.  I talked to Meyers and he is under surveillance right this very minute.”

            Hutch was silent at the new piece of information and kept reading the reports in front of him.

            “Buddy”, Starsky began.  “No case is perfect.  That damn lawyer he got took what little he could, and didn’t let go of it.”

            “Starsk, I know what you’re trying to do and I appreciate it.  I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

            Starsky sighed and stood to put his jacket on.

            “I’ll pick you up in the morning”, Starsky told him.

            Hutch nodded and kept reading.  Starsky shrugged his shoulders and left his partner still studying the reports.  Hutch didn’t watch Starsky leave.  He pulled another file from the stack and opened it up.  When he saw the picture of Aaron James Casey, he clenched his fists.  The cold gray empty eyes stared out at him.  He was 28 years old with bright red hair.  He had lived a relatively normal and quiet life.  He worked as a security guard for a department store.

            Hutch still remembered how the common denominator had been the fact that all the women had shopped at the store.  Five of the six had credit card receipts from the same store, while the one of the victims had gone in to pick up a gift for a friend.  Caitlin had been in there a few times to talk to a friend who was working there.

            The green eyes with the desperation, the fear and the anger floated before him and Hutch sighed.  He hated this case and he would have done anything for it to be over and done.  If only for the sake of Caitlin Wilder.

            He looked through the open file of Casey and found the psychiatric report.  Casey was a sociopath with homicidal tendencies.  Hutch was angry as he remembered the testimony of the psychiatrist.  The defense attorney had hammered home the fact that there was no way of predicting whether or not Casey had murdered or will murder again.

            The few connections they had made at that point seemed to add up pretty effectively of making their case.  Two of the murders had placed him at the scene with witnesses who said they were pretty sure it was him, but they couldn’t be positive.  There was the fact that Casey had no alibis for any of the murders and the attempted murder of Caitlin Wilder.  Add her testimony, where he was employed at the time and the other common factors, it had the appearances of a fairly tight case.  Take the testimony away and it was a case with pretty flimsy circumstantial evidence at best.

            Hutch could feel his frustration growing as he slowly closed the file.  He placed the file on the stack and he found himself looking at the picture of Caitlin Wilder.  Hutch’s gut clenched when he saw her.  Her bruised and bleeding face jumped out at him.  Those eyes reached out to him and he set the picture down.  With a sense of purpose, he stood up and yanked his jacket on as he strode from the squad room.

            It hadn’t been very long at Hutch found himself sitting outside Caitlin Wilder’s house.  He wanted to ask himself why he was even here, but he already knew the reason.  He had let her down and he hoped he wouldn’t do it again as he got out of his car.  Hutch was almost hesitant at knocking on her door.  He took a deep breath as he knocked on the door.

            He had only waited a few minutes and when the door opened, Hutch wanted to smile but he didn’t have it inside himself to do so.  He watched as she froze at the door.  She silently stepped aside and Hutch slowly walked in.  He looked around the small living room.  It had a cozy feeling to it and he could almost see her curled up on the couch with a book.

            He turned around as she closed the door and walked over to him.

            “I know today was pretty rough on you and I wanted to see how you were doing”, Hutch told her.

            He looked in her eyes and she was unreadable.  Caitlin crossed her arms and stood.

            “I also wanted to apologize”, he said nervously.

            Caitlin shrugged her shoulders and walked into the kitchen.  Hutch followed her and watched as she pulled a mug from the cabinet.  She pulled a second one down and pointed to it.  He nodded and watched as she poured tea into both mugs.  She handed him the mug and took a sip of hers.

            She set the mug down and grabbed a nearby notebook and hastily scribbled something on the notebook.  She moved it for him to see it.  Why did you want to apologize, the note asked.

            “Well, I thought I had pulled the case together pretty well.  I should have been more thorough.”

            Hutch watched as she took a deep breath and took a sip from her tea.

            “How are you really doing”, he asked.

            Caitlin raised her hand and did a so-so signal for him.  Hutch was feeling a bit of frustration at his lack of ability to affectively communicate with her.

            “I can have a patrol come by here to check up on you”, Hutch told her.  He wasn’t sure if that was really for her benefit or his.

            Caitlin shook her head and started using sign language but stopped.  She took the notebook and quickly wrote something for him.  She pushed it towards him and Hutch felt his gut tighten as he read it.

            “I thought it would ease your mind knowing that someone was close by.  At least think about it”, he told her.

            Hutch finished his tea and found himself with nothing more to say to her.  He looked over at her and she gave him an unreadable stare.  He pulled a card from his pocket and wrote his number on the back of it.  He then stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

            “I want to give you my number in case you needed anything”, he told her.

            Caitlin stared at him for a moment and then realization hit her eyes.  She motioned for him to follow her and they walked into the living room.  She pointed to the phone and sitting next to it was a large machine with what resembled a typewriter.

            “This translates what you are saying into voice, doesn’t it?”

            Caitlin nodded and Hutch felt a sense of relief as he handed her his card.  She held it tightly as he walked to the door.

            “Call me if you need anything”, he told her.

            Hutch opened the door and looked back at her.  He was a bit surprised at the unfeeling eyes she was giving him.  Hutch didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t have any reason to stay any longer.  As he left, he watched her shadow cross the living room and walk into the bedroom.

            He stepped into his car and he drove still thinking about the one sided conversation he had had with Caitlin.  Hutch was almost home when he saw the library.  An idea suddenly hit him and he did a u-turn in the middle of the street.

            Early the next morning, Starsky knocked on Hutch’s door.  He groaned in frustration at the lack of response from the other side.  He reached for the key over the door and opened it.  If it had been anyone else other than Hutch he wouldn’t have been surprised at the scene he saw.

            Hutch was laying on the couch still sleeping with a pile of books.  One lay innocently on his chest and Starsky knew the guy had to have been up most of the night.  Starsky nudged Hutch and stood back as Hutch grabbed at the book and set it on the coffee table.

            “I finally have the ammunition I need”, Starsky smiled.  “You’re gonna be the one that makes us late this time.”

            Hutch stood and headed for the bathroom ignoring his partner.  Starsky walked over to the table and began looking through the pile of books.

            “So you’re reading about sign language”, Starsky said.  “You want to talk to that girl.”

            “I went over there last night on my way home”, Hutch said as he brushed his teeth.

            “And you stopped off at the library for these”, Starsky said as he leafed through a book.

            “It would be easier if I could at least understand her without having a scribble of notes shoved in front of me.”

            “Do you have any idea how long it’ll take for you to learn sign language”, Starsky told him.  “It’s like learning a whole new language.”

            “Starsk, it’s still English.  A lot of this came from the American Indians.  It’s not as hard as you think.”

            “Don’t try and talk me into it”, Starsky told him.  “I’ll leave it to you, bright boy.”

            Hutch shrugged his shoulders and walked into the bedroom to change clothes.

            “So what’s the plan for today”, Starsky yelled to Hutch in the other room.

            “I thought we’d trace Casey’s footsteps”, Hutch said as he walked in buttoning his shirt.  “We might come up with something new.”

            “God, I hope so.  I’d really like to see this turkey go six feet under for this.”

            Hutch was silent as he took the carton of milk from his fridge.  He turned it up and finished it off.  He grabbed his jacket and Starsky smiled as they left Venice Place.

            “We’ll stop and grab something on the way to the station”, Starsky told him with a grin.

            “Relax, Starsk.  I’m not hungry.”

            “You’ve been up most of the night from the looks of it and I know your disposition will be a hell of a lot better with something in your stomach.”

            Starsky started the Tornino and floored it as they sped down the street.  The rest of the day was spent with the two of them going over the movements of Aaron James Casey prior to the murders of the women.  Nothing new came to mind and both detectives were feeling a bit of frustration over the entire matter.  Starsky could see that Hutch was chomping at the bit to get home and study sign language. 

            Early the next morning both men arrived in the squad room at the voice of Dobey bellowing for them to come to his office.  Hutch looked over at Starsky.

            “I swear I didn’t do a thing”, Starsky told him innocently.

            “The last time he looked like that, Starsk, you put an add in the paper for free psychic advice with his number.”

            “That’s been over a month ago”, Starsky told him as they walked into Dobey’s office.

            Both men were surprised to see the Assistant D.A. standing in the room.

            “Mrs. Matthews”, Starsky said. 

            “Any new ideas on this case”, Dobey asked.

            “We’re retracing his steps to see if we can come up with anything new”, Hutch told them.

            “The reason I’m here is that I received a call yesterday from the court psychiatrist”, she told them.  “He believes that since Aaron James Casey didn’t murder Caitlin Wilder there is a possibility he might finish the job.”

            “Wouldn’t that be kind of stupid”, Starsky said.  “Everyone knows he’d be at the top of the list of suspects.”

            “Yes, I would agree.  But given his evaluation the possibility remains strong.  He looks to her as a defeat on his part.  He didn’t finish what he started and the lack of satisfaction on his part would be bordering on obsessive.”

            “Great”, Hutch mumbled.

            “I’ve tried talking to her about police protection, but she is adamantly opposed to it.”

            “Why”, Dobey asked.

            “She feels that he has had too much power in her life as it is.  She doesn’t want to give him any more.”

            “That doesn’t make any sense”, Starsky stated.

            “Starsky, in her mind he held the power of life or death over her.  Submitting to around-the-clock protection would be no different than when he had attacked her in the beginning”, Hutch told his partner.

            “You seem to know a lot about this girl”, Dobey observed.

            “He’s been studying sign language”, Starsky volunteered.

            “Well, Detective, since you seemed to have covered the bases, I suggest you go over there and see what you can do”, she told Hutch.

            “I’ve spoken to her and offered to just have a patrol come by.  She refused.  I’m not sure how much more I can do”, Hutch told them honestly.

            “We need her”, Mrs. Matthews stated.  “I know she’s been through a horrible ordeal since this happened and I don’t want to put her through any more.  If we can rebuild this case, she will still have to testify.”

            Hutch watched as she walked from the room and he followed her to the hallway. 

            “Mrs. Matthews.”

            She stopped and turned around.

            “What’s happened to her since this happened?”

            “Detective, you of all people should know the difficulties of recovering from brutal attacks such as these.”

            Hutch was silent as she walked away.  He turned around and met Starsky who was walking over to the candy machine.

            “Let’s take a run over at that school where she teaches”, Hutch told his partner.

            “Sure.  Think she might reconsider?”

            “Probably not, but I’d like to keep her alive and breathing just the same.”

            Starsky and Hutch arrived at the deaf school.  Both detectives were somewhat surprised at the quietness.  They knew that most schools were filled with the voices and music of children.  It was the reality of the school Caitlin worked which was a stark contrast to the reality they were accustomed to.

            Both men were guided by a secretary to Caitlin’s room where she taught.  Hutch looked through the window of the door and he was surprised at the woman he was now looking at.  He wasn’t seeing the woman with the desperate eyes and the anger.  Hutch was taken aback at the brightness in her eyes as she taught the children.  Her smile filled the room and her excitement was almost contagious.  His studies in sign language were having the desired effect, he thought to himself.  She was teaching history.  More specifically, civil rights and Martin Luther King was the subject at hand.

            He took a step back as the secretary tapped on the door.  Caitlin opened the door and the skeptical look in her eyes appeared as she studied the detectives.

            “Ms. Wilder”, Starsky began.  “We would like to talk to you.”

            She motioned with her arms as the secretary interpreted.

            “It will have to wait.  I’m teaching a class.”

            Hutch was pleased he had been able to understand most of what she was saying.  He didn’t even look at the interpreter as he spoke.

            “It’s very important”, Hutch told her.  “We need to discuss this case.”

            Caitlin sighed heavily and signed to the secretary that she would be back in a few minutes.  The secretary nodded and walked into the classroom.  Caitlin slowly walked down the corridor and Starsky and Hutch fell into step beside her.

            “I know the D.A. spoke with you about police protection”, Starsky told her.  “We would really like for you to reconsider.”

            Caitlin vehemently shook her head and Hutch stopped her with his hand on her elbow.

            “Why”, he asked.  “It’s for your own protection.”

            He watched as she tightened her lips together and shook her head once again.

            “Tell, me”, Hutch told her.  “I’ve been doing some studying.”

            Hutch watched her carefully as she made the signs with her hands.  When she finished he almost shook his head.

            “What’d she say”, Starsky asked.

            “She lived her life in absolute fear”, Hutch translated.  “She refuses to go down that road again.”

            “We have every reason to believe that Casey will come after you again, Ms. Wilder.  We’re going to get the evidence to put him away for good”, Starsky explained.

            Hutch was taken aback at the sudden anger in her eyes.  As she signed frantically, he held his hand up at her.

            “Slow down.  You’re going too fast.”

            Caitlin took a deep breath and began again.  She expressed her feelings very clear to Hutch before storming off and walking to her classroom.

            “What was that all about”, Starsky asked.

            “She said he ruled her life for over a year after the attack and she won’t let him have that kind of control.  She also said she won’t testify if by some miracle we are able to arrest him for what happened.”

            Starsky wanted to curse loudly even though the students wouldn’t hear him.  He figured a few of them probably knew to read lips.

            Starsky drove and looked over at Hutch who had a sullen look on his face.  This whole case had quickly put a damper on his friend’s spirits and he knew the only way to bring a smile to his face was to put the animal away who had murdered six women and almost killed another.  Starsky had a thought and suddenly turned the car around.

            “Starsk, what are you doing”, Hutch asked.

            “I think we should pay Mr. Casey a visit.”

            “Why?”

            “I’d hate for him to forget all about us”, Starsky told him with a side glance.

            Hutch chuckled as Starsky put some pressure on the accelerator.

            Aaron James Casey was working as a janitor in the basement of the same department store he had worked as a guard.  The department store had found itself in a quandary when he had been accused of the rapes and murders.  While they wanted the public to see them as an organization which presumed innocence until found guilty, it also walked the fine line of protecting their precious customers.  Rather than have Casey walking around the store as a security guard, they demoted him to the role as a janitor to the basement.

            Starsky and Hutch found him emptying some garbage in a large dumpster.  He turned to walk inside and both men fell into step beside him.

            “Hi, Aaron”, Starsky said with a smile as he munched on a bag of peanuts.

            “You have no right to be here”, he said with a lazy sigh.

            “We had a message for you”, Hutch simply explained.

            “I can’t wait to hear this”, he told them.  “My case is dismissed and I’m a free man.”

            “Not really”, Starsky told him. 

            “You’re still our number one suspect and we don’t want you to think we’ve forgotten about you”, Hutch told him.

            Casey chuckled and stopped walking to look at Starsky.

            “Maybe if your cop buddy over there did a better job, I’d be sitting on death row”, he said with a slow smile.

            Hutch grabbed Casey and swung him around until he slammed against an unforgiving cement wall.

            “You piece of shit!  That girl pointed you out in a courtroom for the entire world to see.  You know what that makes you!  That makes you a target.  My target”, Hutch told him with venom in his voice.

            “Aaron did a bad, bad thing”, Starsky said as he shook his head.

            “I’ll bring you both up on charges if you come near me again”, Casey threatened.

            “Remember this”, Hutch warned.  “We’ll be watching you when you think we’re not watching.”

            Hutch shoved him away and stormed off towards the car with Starsky trailing not far behind him.

            “Stupid cops”, Casey yelled.  “You’ve got nothing!  Do you hear me?  Nothing!”

            Hutch turned around and Starsky caught him.

            “Watch it, partner.  He’s got too good of a lawyer to push our luck.  What good are we if we get suspended?”

            Hutch sighed and walked to the car.  When he sat inside, he rubbed his eyes with his hands.

            “I’ve never seen you like this, Hutch.  Usually I’m always the one who blows a gasket and you’re the one to get me to see reason.”

            “I guess just seeing what he’s done to these women and to Caitlin Wilder really has gotten to me.”

            “I know, buddy.  I think it’s more of Caitlin Wilder than anything else.”

            “I can’t get that image out of my head.  Watching her testify on the stand and unable to verbalize the pain she feels.”

            “She was pretty loud and clear about the pain”, Starsky told him quietly.

            “We’ve got to get this guy”, Hutch bit out. 

            “We will, Hutch.  We will.”

            Starsky and Hutch walked through the old crime scene as they retraced the steps of Aaron James Casey.  There was nothing in the apartment of the young woman who had once resided there.  Her body had been found by her boyfriend who hadn’t talked to her in a few days.  They walked around with the reports in their hands and attempted to reenact the horrible murder.

            Starsky stopped and leaned against the wall as he tried to imagine the young woman fighting for her life.

            “How long do you think he followed them”, Starsky asked.

            “I’m not sure.  Given the time between murders I would guess one to two weeks.  He learned their routines, found the weaknesses to get into their homes and discovered the opportunities to rape and murder these women.”

            “I keep thinking back to Caitlin’s testimony, Hutch.  She looked like a deer caught in the headlights.”

            Something about Starsky’s statement rang true.  Yes, she did look that way he supposed.  But there was something else in the back of Hutch’s mind and he couldn’t put his finger on it.

            “When I was growing up in Minnesota”, Hutch said.  “My dad went hunting every year.  He took me with him a few times, but I never really cared for it.”

            “You?  You love that outdoors stuff.”

            “I do, but I hated hunting.  I guess you could almost compare to killing Bambi.  I never saw the reason behind killing an animal for pure sport.  If it was to put food on the table, I could understand.  He still has those damn things hanging on the wall of his study.  I’ve never liked them.”

            “Trophies.”

            “What?”

            “They’re called trophies.”

            “That’s it, Starsk.  That’s what we’re missing here.”

            “I’m lost, buddy.”

            “Trophies.  I would bet my last paycheck he’s probably got something from every woman he murdered.”

            “Hutch, the property reports haven’t indicated of anything being stolen.  We asked the families of these women and there’s nothing.”

            “That’s because all these women lived alone.  Who is to say their families knew about every little item they bought?”

            “It’s a shot”, Starsky told him.  “If Casey’s got a stash somewhere he probably goes back to it.”

            “That slime probably pays it a visit from time to time to pat himself for a job well done”, Hutch stated with bitterness to his voice.

            “Hutch, the D.A.’s right.  He’s not gonna be satisfied until he kills Caitlin Wilder.  She’s the one that got away.”

            Hutch sighed and looked over at his partner knowing how right he was.  They both left the abandoned apartment and headed to the precinct.

            “You two are nuts”, Dobey told them.  “I’m not going to the D.A. for a search warrant on Casey over a hunch.  I need more than that.”

            “Cap’n”, Starsky said.  “It makes sense.  Casey’s probably got something from every woman he murdered.  Maybe even a few more that we don’t know about.  We find what it is and we’ve got him nailed and we won’t even need Caitlin Wilder’s testimony.”

            “When he was first arrested, we used the search warrant and we found absolutely nothing at his home.  The D.A. will need something concrete.”

            “We’ll keep him under surveillance”, Hutch said.  “He’s bound to slip up somewhere.”

            “I’m not even sure how long we’ll even be able to do that”, Dobey said with a sigh.

            “What”, Hutch asked.

            “If we don’t have enough probable cause to keep him under surveillance his lawyer will slap a harassment suit on this department.  He’ll tell a judge that his client has been unduly singled out for a crime of which the case had been dismissed.”

            “I don’t believe this”, Starsky said as he stood.  “How in the hell are we supposed to do our jobs?”

            “I don’t like it any better than you do”, Dobey yelled.  “This case has been drawn out for over two years.  The media has torn into it like a turkey on thanksgiving.  There’s an election coming up and no one wants to deal with this any more than they have to.  If you two can’t come up with something concrete soon, the D.A. and the mayor will urge the commissioner to change the status to unsolved.”

            “This is just great”, Hutch said with a frustrated voice.  “The kitchen gets a little too hot and everyone wants to bail, so this piece of human excrement can go and murder more women.”

            Hutch stormed out of the room and slammed the door as he left.  Starsky said nothing for a minute and he looked over at Dobey.

            “He’s taking this pretty personal, isn’t he”, Dobey asked.

            “Yeah, Cap’n.  He’s blaming himself for what happened when he was on the stand.”

            “Starsky, I don’t like this anymore than you boys do”, Dobey told him.

            “I know, Cap’n.  We’ll get this guy.”

            Dobey nodded as Starsky left and went to find Hutch. 

            When Starsky walked back into the squad room he saw Hutch carrying an armful of files towards his desk.  He watched as Hutch dropped them on his desk and sat down.  Starsky walked over and didn’t say anything for a moment as Hutch pulled the top file from the stack.

            “What’s all this”, Starsky asked.

            “I had Minnie pull the files on dead girls murdered in the last three years”, Hutch told him quietly.

            “It’s a hell of a lot of work”, Starsky told him.  “Hutch, why don’t we forget this tonight and come back in the morning.  You look like you could use some sleep.”

            “I’m fine”, Hutch said shortly.  “I don’t want to wait too long.”

            Starsky walked over and pulled a chair closer to Hutch.  He sat down and leaned forward.

            “Hutch, it wasn’t your fault with what happened on the stand that day.  You told me yourself that lawyer was out for you.”

            “Starsk, I don’t need the ‘quit beating yourself up’ speech.  I failed.  I failed those murdered women and I failed Caitlin Wilder.”

            “No, you didn’t.  The pecker has a good lawyer and…”

            “Yeah, and I’m supposed to be a good cop”, Hutch finished for him.  “I’m staying here to work for a while on this.  Go on home, Starsk.  I’ll pick you up in the morning.”

            “Hutch, you’ve got to take a break from this.  It’s eating you up.”

            “Damnit Starsk, just stop it!”

            Starsky sat back at the remark from Hutch.  He could see he wasn’t getting anywhere with him.

            “I’m sorry”, Hutch apologized.  “I need to do this.”

            Starsky nodded and slowly left.  He walked out to the hallway and turned back to look through the window.  He could see Hutch hunched over his desk reading intently through the reports.  Starsky knew how badly Hutch was killing himself over this case.  It was the first time he had ever remembered Hutch being this way about a case.

            Hutch worked for another three hours and stood up to stretch for a bit.  He looked around the squad room and saw that most everyone had gone home.  The graveyard shift was coming on and he knew he needed to go home for a while.  Hutch wanted to call Starsky and apologize once again for how he had acted towards him. 

            He was driving home and Hutch found himself driving by Caitlin’s house.  He could see the light on and wondered if it would be too late to talk to her.  He looked at his watch and when he looked up, he could see her shadow through the lit curtains as she turned out the light.

            Hutch sat back and sighed.  He wanted to talk to her so badly, but he had no idea of what to say to her.  How could he tell her how sorry he was?  How could he tell her he had failed her? 

            Hutch rubbed his eyes and put the car in drive.

            Early the next morning, Hutch arrived with coffee and donuts in hand.  He hoped this would at least go a little ways in apologizing to Starsky for his callous treatment of his partner.  He opened the door and when he walked in Starsky was putting his gun on.

            “Hey”, Hutch said.

            “I’ll be ready in a sec”, Starsky told him as he grabbed his jacket.

            “Here”, Hutch said holding the bag of donuts out to him.

            “What’s this”, Starsky said with a smile.

            “I’m really sorry for acting like an asshole”, Hutch told him.

            Starsky took the bag from him and he smiled when he opened it.

            “I never thought you would subject yourself to going into a donut shop”, Starsky said with a smile.

            “For you buddy, I would swim in them”, Hutch said.

            Starsky chuckled as he pulled one out and bit into it.  When they arrived at the station both men were in good spirits.  Starsky looked over at the large stack of files still sitting on Hutch’ desk.

            “How far did you get on that”, Starsky asked.

            “Not far”, Hutch said with a sigh.  “I found a couple I think we should check out.”

            The two detectives hadn’t even made it to their desks when Dobey came out of his office.

            “You two need to head to Caitlin Wilder’s home.”

            “What happened”, Hutch asked with fear gripping his heart.

            “There was an attempted break-in a few hours ago.”

            Starsky and Hutch turned around and practically ran to the car.

            When the detective arrived they found Caitlin upset and unable to communicate effectively with the uniformed officers.  Hutch watched as she threw her notebook down to the ground in frustration.  When she turned around one of the officers had put his hand on her arm and she began swinging at him.

            Hutch ran over to her and pulled her around to look at him.

            “Caitlin, it’s me.”

            She seemed to calm down at the site of Hutch, but the panic and fear in her eyes remained.  Starsky sent the patrol unit away and walked over to Hutch.

            “What happened”, Hutch asked.

            Caitlin wildly began signing and Hutch took her hands in his.

            “Please slow down”, Hutch gently asked.

            She took a few deep breaths and began signing more slowly for Hutch.

            “I was sleeping and something woke me up.  I don’t know what it was and when I sat up, I saw something at my window.  At first I thought it was just a cat.  We have a lot of strays in the neighborhood.  But when it moved, it was a face looking at me.  I got out of bed and when I went to the living room, I saw the doorknob moving on the front door.  I called the police and then it stopped”, Hutch translated for her.

            “Did you get a look at the face”, Starsky asked.

            Caitlin shook her head no with sad green eyes.

            “Let’s get you inside”, Hutch told her.  When he walked inside the house, he sat Caitlin on the couch while Starsky called the lab boys over to dust for prints.  Hutch went to the kitchen and brought Caitlin a glass of water.

            Hutch sat down next to her and looked at her.

            “Caitlin”, he said softly.  “After what happened, you should seriously think about having around the clock police protection.”

            Hutch watched as she suddenly shot up from the couch and stood in the center of the room.  She looked at both detectives with anger in her eyes.

            “I spent the first year of my life sleeping on the couch you’re sitting on”, she signed to Hutch.  “Every movement I made and every breath I took was defined by what that monster did to me.  I won’t let him control me again.”

            Hutch could see the defiance in her eyes and he knew he didn’t have to translate to Starsky what she had said to him.  Starsky sat on the arm of the couch and leaned forward.

            “Listen, Caitlin”, Starsky told her.  “I understand how strongly you feel about this…”

            She cut him off with an angry movement with her hands.  Starsky was taken aback by the emotion in her eyes and the angry movement in her hands. He could only watch as she signed her feelings.  When she finished, he looked over at Hutch who sighed loudly.

            “Hutch”, Starsky asked.

            “She said you will never understand how I feel or why I feel the way I do.  Quit patronizing the mute idiot and treat me like I have a voice.  I do have a voice and you have to listen to it.”

            Hutch looked back over at Starsky and he knew her harsh words had cut him to the quick.  He knew she was right and he knew that Starsky was honestly trying to help.  He stood up and walked over to Caitlin.

            “We want to help you”, he told her.  “We don’t want anything to happen to you.  Would you mind if we stop by and check up on you sometimes?”

            Hutch watched as she took a deep and looked down at the floor.  She looked over at Starsky with an apologetic look and back at Hutch.  Caitlin nodded and Hutch gave her an affectionate pat on the shoulder.  After the lab boys had finished and Hutch had taken her statement, him and Starsky were able to leave.

            They walked over to Hutch’s LTD and when they were inside, Hutch checked over the report they had just filled out.  He looked over at Starsky who was looking out the window.

            “You’re being pretty quiet”, Hutch observed.

            “Well, you didn’t just get put in your place”, he replied.  “I feel like I just got reprimanded by my first grade teacher Mrs. Applebee.”

            “Starsk, she’s upset.  Don’t take it so personally.”

            “How can I not take it personally?  She was right, you know.  She has a voice and I wasn’t listening.  You heard it, but I didn’t.  I took it fore granted because she can’t speak.”

            “I wish I knew what to tell you, Gordo”, Hutch sighed.  “This isn’t the easiest case in the world.  There’s so much more here to deal with than the average case and we are barely equipped to handle all the emotional baggage being dragged into it.  We can only take it one day at a time.”

            Hutch looked over at Starsky and he could see he was still bothered by what Caitlin had said.  Hutch had read into her eyes, that she had regretted at being so callous towards Starsky.

            Starsky and Hutch found Aaron James Casey walking towards his small apartment carrying an armload of groceries.  Hutch kept the car rolling as Casey walked.  Casey looked back and saw both detectives not far from him and sitting in the car.  He turned into his building and walked up the stairs.

            Hutch parked the car and him and Starsky followed Casey up to his apartment.  Both men gave each other a look as they arrived at the door.  Hutch knocked on the door.

            “Oh, Aaron”, Starsky sung out to him.  “The nice police want to talk to you.”

            The door opened with a chain across it.  Hutch looked at the cold empty eyes staring at him.

            “Open up, Casey”, Hutch told him.

            “I’m picking up my phone if you’re not gone in five minutes”, he told them.  “This is harassment.”

            “This isn’t harassment”, Starsky told him.  “I’ll show you the difference sometime.”

            “Casey, we’re the cops and we are here for a very specific reason.  It’s police business and if you don’t open up, we will arrest you for obstruction of justice”, Hutch told him matter of factly.

            The door closed and after a minute it was opened and Starsky and Hutch were allowed inside.  The small apartment had seen better days with the dirty walls and the filthy carpet.  The interesting thing was how neatly everything was.  It all seemed to have it’s own special place. 

            Starsky would say this animal bordered on anal.  Even the magazines he had were organized in alphabetical order.  Starsky took a peek at Casey putting away his groceries. 

            “So why are you here if not to make my life miserable”, Casey asked.

            Starsky walked over as Casey pulled one item from the sack, read it and set it inside the cabinet.

            “Why don’t you tell us where you were about four hours ago”, Starsky asked.

            “I doubt it will do you much good”, Casey told them as he pulled another item from the sack.

            “Caitlin Wilder had an attempted break-in early this morning”, Starsky told him.  “We think it was you and we want to know where you were at.”

            Hutch watched as the man stood quietly, took another item from the sack, read it and set it inside the cabinet once again.

            “I would say our Miss Wilder has an over active imagination”, Casey stated.  “Either that or she’s feeling a little neglected from the lack of attention.”

            Hutch stood up and Starsky moved in front of him.  Casey saw the movement of the blonde detective and a slight smile crossed his face.  Hutch stepped back and looked at he neatly placed magazines on the coffee table.  He picked up a couple and managed to scatter them about on the table. 

            Neither detective said anything as Casey walked over and began putting the magazines back in their place.

            “Answer me, Casey”, Starsky asked.  “Where were you?”

            “I was here.  I slept till 6am.  I have no alibis.  I told you I doubt it would do you much good either way.”     

Starsky observed how comfortable the man carried himself.  It didn’t bother him that Hutch had strewn the magazines all over the coffee table.  But he sure didn’t like to see something out of order in his life.

                        Starsky and Hutch looked over at each other.  Hutch walked over and leaned over Casey.

            “Just remember something, Casey.  We take it our work very personally and we’re damn good at it.  I strongly suggest you start making sure you have airtight unbreakable alibis.  If anything happens to Miss Wilder, we’ll be looking at you.  If any other woman is attacked in this city we’ll be looking at you.”

            “Yeah”, Starsky told him.  “Let’s just say you became our new prime suspect and anything that goes wrong, we’ll come for a visit.”

            Hutch picked up a magazine and dropped it on the floor.  Him and Starsky slowly walked out the apartment leaving Casey to organize his magazines.  Casey seemed unperturbed by the whole conversation as he smiled and picked the magazine off the floor.

            As Starsky and Hutch walked down the stairs towards the car, Starsky stopped.

            “Did you notice how anal that guy was about everything”, he asked.

            “Who couldn’t help but notice”, Hutch said dryly.  “I’m not even sure we even had an effect on him.”

            “I don’t think you can bother a sociopath.”

            “Something bothers him or else why would he do what he did?”

            Starsky was silent at the question and both men continued on down the stairs.

            After Hutch had dropped off Starsky at his place, he drove by Caitlin’s home.  He parked across the street and sat for a minute before walking up to the door.  Hutch paused for a moment before finally knocking on the door.

            When Caitlin opened the door and saw him, he almost thought he saw a trace of a smile on her face.

            “I thought I would drop by and see how you were”, he told her nervously.

            Caitlin stepped aside and let him walk inside.  Hutch stood in the living room as she walked over and stood not far from him.

            “I just made some tea”, she told him with her hands.  “Would you like some?”

            “Sounds good”, Hutch answered.

            They both walked into the kitchen and when she reached up for the mug, Hutch almost gasped aloud when the sleeve of her shirt fell back from her arm.  It was a small scar almost three inches in length going length-wise on her forearm.  He swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to pretend not to see it.

            If Caitlin was aware of his observation, she didn’t show it.  She handed him the mug of hot tea and stood back as she picked up her own.

            “How are you feeling”, he asked.

            Caitlin set the mug down and turned towards him.

            “I’m fine”, she told him with her hands. 

            “Why did you change your mind about testifying”, Hutch asked.

            “You were there that day”, she told him.  “My testimony made no difference one way or the other.  He’s still out there and I don’t see the point in doing so again.”

            The horrible day flashed through Hutch’s mind and he looked down at his mug as he thought about the words he would tell her.

            “I’m sorry, Caitlin.  If I had done a better job on this case, he would have never left that courtroom a free man.”

            Caitlin slammed her hand on the counter which brought Hutch’s head up.

            “You have to look at me so I can talk to you”, she told him forcefully.  “What happened had nothing to do with how well you did your job.  That lawyer took advantage of a situation.  Rather than do what is right, he cared more about winning his case.  It’s the cost that he will have to live with.  Aaron James Casey could just as well kill his own daughter with what happened in that courtroom.”

            Hutch gave her a small smile and set the mug down on the table behind him.

            “Listen, why don’t we forget all this talk for now”, Hutch told her.  “I’d like to take you out to dinner.”

            “No”, she signaled to him.  “But I will cook you dinner here if you don’t mind.”

            “I’d like that only if you let me help.  I do know my way around the kitchen.”

            “A confirmed bachelor knows his way around a kitchen”, she told him with a smile.

            Hutch laughed a little and the warmth of her smile brought one to his face as well.

            “I do know how to cook.”

            “Okay.  I do have the makings of a salad in the fridge.  I just have to add a few more things to the steak and put the veggies on to steam.”

            “I think it’ll be great”, Hutch told her honestly.

            In a matter of minutes both of them moved around the small kitchen comfortably.  Even though she didn’t sign while cooking, Hutch entertained Caitlin with jokes and stories of escapades with himself and Starsky.

            After dinner both sat in the living room relaxing with a glass of wine in hand.  Hutch leaned forward towards her. 

            “I want you to understand something about my partner, Starsky.  I don’t want you to think that either of us are ignorant of your disability or that we take fore granted what happened to you.”

            Caitlin shook her head and looked at him.  She set her wine glass on the coffee table moved to face him more directly.

            “You have to realize that since I lost my ability to speak, people will look past me like I’m not even here.  I have learned to be more forceful and demanding so I will be listened to.  People have to realize that even though I can’t speak any more, I still have a voice.  I will be abrasive and very straightforward so I will be heard.  I’m sorry your friend caught the brunt of my frustration and I know he didn’t mean any harm.”

            Hutch felt a bit better about the situation and he made a mental note to bring Starsky by.

            “Were you raised her”, Hutch asked.

            “No”, she signaled to him.  “I grew up in San Francisco.  My father was a musician and my mother is an English teacher.”

            “Something happened to your father”, Hutch asked.

            “He died in a car accident when I was a child.  My mother raised my brother and I alone.  She never stopped loving my father.  I asked her why didn’t she ever remarry and she told me that would be like comparing beer to champagne.”

            “I don’t understand”, Hutch told her.

            “In her mind, my father was a great man and I don’t disagree.  He was her soul mate and she always knew she would never find any man that could reach the pedistool she had placed him on.  She put him up there for a reason and that was because he was a very good father and a wonderful husband.  My mother will never marry again”, Caitlin said with a sigh.  “What about your family?”

            “My family”, Hutch said with a small smile.  “They live in Minnesota.  My father has a large ranch and he’s used its success to make more money than god.”

            “You don’t seem too pleased about it”, Caitlin observed.

            “It was fine.  The same standards he placed on his prize-winning thoroughbreds he placed on his son as well.  Only I didn’t run in the big race like he wanted.  I did pretty much opposite of what he wanted after college.  He expected me to go to law school and instead I joined the academy here.  I went almost all the way across country to defy him.”

            Hutch chuckled when he said his next sentence.

            “It was like the kid Toby Tyler who ran away to join the circus.”

            “Being a police officer suits you”, Caitlin motioned to him.  “I can’t see you as a lawyer.”

            “Neither could I”, Hutch told her honestly.  “I wouldn’t change my life for one minute.”

            “Does your partner feel the same”, she asked.

            “Starsky?  I think so.”

            “Are you close to him?”

            “We’re closer than brothers.  I know people will misinterpret our relationship, but it’s kind of complicated I guess.  No one really seems to understand what we have.”

            “I do”, she told him.  “You both have gone through similar experiences and some of them had to have been pretty horrific given the nature of your work.  It’s placed an unbreakable bond around the both of you.  I have seen you talk to him without speaking words.”

            Hutch looked at her in amazement.  She had called it right when so many had called it wrong.

            “How do you do that”, he said with a smile.

            “I guess since I don’t speak, I am at somewhat at an advantage.  I told you earlier that sometimes people look at me like I’m not here.  When they do that, I hear things that other people don’t hear.  I have heard the sound of a quarter drop in the other room.  I have heard someone say a kind word to someone else when they meant the opposite.  I can hear anger, sadness and happiness whether someone wants me to know it or not.”

            “Amazing”, Hutch responded.

            He watched as she tried to hide a small yawn from him.

            “You’re tired.  I should be going”, Hutch told her as he stood.

            “I wish I wasn’t”, Caitlin told him.  “ I was enjoying our talk.”

            Caitlin walked over to the door and before she opened it, Hutch reached over and pushed the honey blonde hair from her face.  Caitlin took his hand in hers, wrapped his arm around her neck and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.  She gently touched his blonde hair before stepping back.

            Hutch didn’t move for a moment as he watched her.  He silently turned around and left the house.

            Hutch was whistling when Starsky walked into the apartment.  He smiled as he watched Hutch putting on his socks. 

            “I can see there has been a tremendous change from yesterday”, Starsky told him.  “What happened?”

            “I went to Caitlin Wilder’s home last night.  We had dinner together.”

            “Sounds nice.  How did it go?”

            “Much better than I expected.  She’s a very bright and intelligent woman.”

            “Nice change for you as of late”, Starsky joked.

            “What is that supposed to mean?”

            “It means in the last six months, you have dated every big…uh…featured woman you have laid those baby blues on.”

            Hutch threw a damp towel at Starsky and watched as it landed on his face.

            “Oh, that’s gross”, he told Hutch.

            Hutch started putting his shoes on and he stopped and looked up at Starsky.

            “Caitlin is sorry about how abrupt she was with you.  She knows you meant well.”

            “I don’t blame her”, Starsky admitted.  “I’m sure a lot of people don’t treat her like a whole person anyways.”

            Hutch finished up and stood.  He walked over to his door grabbed his jacket and gun as the two left the apartment.

            As soon as the two of them arrived at the precinct they were ordered to Dobey’s office.  When they walked inside, they almost groaned when they saw Mrs. Matthews and Mr. Conner, Aaron James Casey’s lawyer.

            “I have a bad feeling”, Starsky told Hutch.

            “Sit down”, Dobey told them.  After both men sat down, Mrs. Matthews walked over to them.

            “As of right now, any visitation to Mr. Casey without an attorney present is strictly forbidden.”

            “That’s bullshit”, Starsky blurted out.

            “Starsky”, Dobey yelled.

            “Gentlemen”, Conner told them.  “My client has been through quite an ordeal.  He has gone to trial and the case was dismissed.  You have no legal ground to harass him any longer.”

            Hutch suddenly stood and gave him a lethal stare.

            “Caitlin Wilder stood in courtroom and pointed that bastard out!  He raped her and damn near killed her.  Because of him she will never speak for the rest of her life!”

            “Detective, you as well as anyone knows it wasn’t her testimony that set him free.  It was yours.”

            Hutch took an aggressive step towards the man.  Hutch felt Starsky standing behind him and Dobey’s voice stopped him.

            “You’re client raped and murdered six women! I would bet my badge he’s probably done more than that”, Hutch told him.  “I will promise you this, Mr. Conner.  Aaron James Casey will go down for what he’s done.  We’ll find the evidence we need.  You had better pray that we find it before he murders another innocent woman.”

            Hutch turned around and stormed from the room with Starsky following close behind him.  They had only gone less than three feet from the office when the door opened and Dobey walked out.  Hutch looked over and saw the news in his eyes.

            “There’s been another one”, he whispered.

            He handed the address to Starsky.  No one spoke for a moment.  When Conner walked out of the office, Hutch had murder in his eyes.  If looks could kill there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that Conner would have been six feet under at that very moment.  Conner knew it also as he quickly left the precinct.

            Starsky and Hutch arrived at the small home of the girl who had been murdered.  They found her body and it was the same as all the others.  She had no clothes on her body. Her hands were bound behind her back with a belt.  The obvious signs of strangulation were obvious.  Hutch sighed at the sight of the young woman’s body and he stepped outside to get a breath of fresh air.  Starsky quickly followed him.

            “Hey, buddy”, Starsky said.

            “I’m okay.  I just needed a minute.”

            “Take your time.  I’ll be inside if you need me.”

            Hutch nodded and after a few moments he walked back inside the home.  He watched as the crime lab guys worked over every square inch of the house.  He pulled over one of the officers in uniform.

            “Ted, I want every item in this house categorized and accounted for.  If anything no matter how small or minute comes up out of place or missing, I want to know immediately.”

            “No problem, Sergeant Hutchinson.”

            “Hutch”, Starsky said.

            Hutch walked over to the kitchen table where Starsky was standing.

            “What is it?”

            “This appointment book.  She had a job interview over at the same department store that Casey works at.  Less than two weeks ago.”

            “Goddamn”, Hutch breathed.  He turned around and walked into the living room.

            “All right everyone”, Hutch said with a raised voice.  “Let me have your attention.  We have less than two weeks to get the goods on the piece of shit responsible for this.”

            Hutch didn’t have to name names.  Everyone knew who was responsible.

            “I want the area combed.  Start inside and work your way out.  I want you to work your way out to 100 yards outside the house.  Scrutinize every single thing you find.  No matter how insignificant you think it might be, check it.  If you’re not sure, bag it.  We’re not letting this guy commit another murder again.”

            Hutch turned around and watched as the body of Lois Michaels was being brought out.  He stopped them and pulled the sheet away from her face.

            “Lois, I’m depending on you to tell me what happened here”, Hutch whispered. 

            Hutch covered her face and turned towards Starsky who was looking through some correspondence on the table.

            “I want to send Bryant and O’Neal to canvas the neighborhood”, Starsky told him.  “Maybe someone saw something.”

            “Yeah”, Hutch replied. 

            “Hutch”, Starsky said.  “She applied for a job over at that department store.”

            “We know that.”

            “When we go over there”, Starsky said.  “I want us to take Mrs. Matthews with us.”

            “Why, Starsky?  It’s procedure for us to check everything out.”

            “You know as well as I do if we go with in a 100 yards of that store, that scumbag’s attorney will be screaming harassment before we even get through the door.”

            “Fine”, Hutch said with a sigh.

            He had barely gotten the word out when a young rookie ran into the room.

            “Sergeant Hutchinson”, he yelled.  “We’ve got something!”

            Starsky and Hutch dropped what they were doing and followed him out to the yard.  They walked around to the sight of the house and found a group of officers studying something under the window.

            “She must’ve watered the lawn yesterday.  There was just enough shade to keep the ground damp.”

            “What is it”, Starsky asked.

            “It’s a partial footprint”, the rookie said with an excited smile.

            Starsky and Hutch kneeled down and sure enough a partial footprint.  Hutch felt like jumping up and down.  It was the first solid piece of physical evidence they had.

            “Are there any more”, he asked.

            “No, sir”, one of the officers told him.  “We checked twice.”

            “Get Andy”, Starsky told the rookie.

            A moment later a man from the crime lab showed up and looked over the partial footprint.

            “Can you get a casting”, Hutch asked.

            “It’ll be tough, but I think I can get a fairly decent one out of it.  Looks to be a size 10 or ten and a half.”

            “Do the best you can”, Hutch told him.  “Don’t forget pics and measurements.”

            Hutch stood up and turned to Starsky.

            “Relax”, Starsky told him.  “Andy’s been doing this a while.  I’m sure he wouldn’t have forgotten the photos and the measurements.”

            “I know, Starsk.  Hopefully we can match this to Casey.”

            “I feel the same way, Hutch.  I’ve got a feeling we’re still going to need more.”

            Hutch didn’t want to agree with him, but he knew they would ask for more evidence.

            Starsky and Hutch stood out in the parking lot of the department store as the Assistant D.A. pulled up in a car.  They noticed immediately that she had a serious look and they soon discovered why as Conner got out on the passenger side of the vehicle.

            Hutch walked over to Mrs. Matthews.

            “What the hell is he doing here”, he bit out.

            “I’m here to protect my client”, Conner told him.

            “Since when are attorneys a part of a murder investigation”, Starsky asked.

            “I didn’t have a choice in the matter”, she told them.  “He went to a judge and brought a court order.”

            Hutch restrained himself from walking over and ripping the man’s head off.  He turned around and walked into the building.  They found the administration office in the back of the store.  The four of them waited in the lobby.  Starsky walked over the TV and changed the channel.  He stopped when he saw a news report.

            “Hutch”, he called out.

            Hutch walked over and saw what had caught Starsky’s attention.  A news crew stood outside the home they had only been at a short time ago.

            “Jesus”, Hutch murmured.  “I hope Caitlin doesn’t see this.”

            Starsky patted Hutch on the arm.  They turned around at the sound of a door opening and the secretary led the group into a conference room.  At the far end stood a middle-aged man.

            “I apologize for the delay”, he told the group.  “My names is Amos Walters.  I’m in charge of the human resources department for Walden Department Stores.”

            “Thank you for seeing us on such short notice, Mr. Walters”, the DA told him.

            “Did you interview Lois Michaels on the 11^th”, Hutch asked.

            “I do remember the interview.  She seemed to be a bright and intelligent woman.  Such a shame, though.  I was seriously considering her resume’.”

            “Did you take her around the store and introduce her to other employees”, Starsky asked.

            “I took her on a tour through the store.  I did introduce her to a few other employees.”

            “Would one of them happen to be Aaron James Casey”, Hutch asked.

            “You’re out of line, Detective Hutchinson”, Conner told him.  “This isn’t about my client.”

            “This is about finding who raped and murdered this woman”, Hutch shot back.

            “You’re only here to make sure you’re client’s rights aren’t violated”, Mrs. Matthews told him.

            “I’m here to make sure my client isn’t singled out in an investigation that didn’t bother to include other possible suspects!”

            “That’s because there are no other suspects”, Starsky told him.  “Don’t you find it in the least suspicious that the client you’re killing yourself to protect works at the same exact place that all the victims came to.  On top of it, he has no alibis for any of the murders.”

            “I bet he won’t have an alibi for the time during the murder of Lois Michaels”, Hutch told Starsky.

            “You won’t have an opportunity to find out”, Conner told Hutch.  “I won’t allow you or your partner to interview him.”

            “If the detectives deem it necessary, Mr. Conner, I will make sure it happens”, Mrs. Matthews told him.

            “Do it”, he told her.  “I’ll bring a harassment suit against your office and the city so fast it’ll make your head spin and I have grounds to do so.  Given the fact that these two rogue cops made two unannounced visits to my client and the surveillance continued even after the case against him was dismissed, I doubt it will be ignored.”

            “You son of bitch”, Hutch bit out.  “You’re client murdered these women and we’ll prove it.”

            “Mr. Walters”, Mrs. Matthews asked.

            “Yes”, he said quietly.

            “If you could see that her resume’ and application reach these detectives today it would be greatly appreciated by our office.”

            “No problem.  It’ll be done before lunch.”

            “This meeting is over”, Conner told them.  Before he walked out of the conference room he turned.

            “If Hutchinson or Starsky come within 100 feet of my client, I’ll personally go see the commissioner and have them stripped of their badges.”

            He slammed the door behind him and no one spoke for a moment.  Everyone was quiet as the DA, Starsky and Hutch walked out to their cars.  She turned to them with a serious look on her face.

            “Conner is serious.  He won’t hesitate to carry out his threats.”

            “We’ll find another way”, Starsky told her.  “One way or the other, we’ll find another way.”

            “I don’t have to tell you both how important it is to get solid evidence.  I need something that is rock-hard and can stand up under serious scrutiny.”

            Starsky and Hutch nodded as she left.

            “My god, Starsk.  How can that man represent Casey knowing what he is?”

            “Even dirt bags deserve a lawyer, I guess.”

            Hutch wished he could laugh at the small joke.

            Hutch wanted to go to Caitlin’s.  He looked at his watch and he knew she would be getting home anytime.  Him and Starsky arrived at the precinct and when they sat at their desks, Minnie brought a file over to them.

            “It’s the preliminary from the coroner”, she told them as she left.

            Starsky opened the file and it read pretty much the same as the others.  He closed it up and handed it to Hutch who read basically the same as the others.

            “We’ve got put him at the scene of one of these murders”, Hutch thought aloud.  “If it wasn’t for that damn lawyer, we could get this thing wrapped up much more quickly.”

            “I know, buddy.  I would love to see what his shoe size is.”

            “Maybe we’re looking at this from the wrong end”, Hutch said.  “I mean the common factor has been Walden Department Store.  Five of the six women had credit card receipts from this store.  Lois Michaels had a scheduled interview.”

            “Could be”, Starsky wondered.  “Who would have access to not only the billing department and Lois’ application?”

            “Aaron James Casey.  He worked as a security guard and now he’s a janitor.  I would bet he has keys to every office.”

            “He could have just as easily followed Caitlin and the other woman home”, Starsky told him.  “What we should do is start with the offices at Walden Department Store.  We can start eliminating those with access to both departments.”

            “Yeah.  Maybe we can somehow convince the DA and a judge that taking Casey out of the picture is too premature.  He’s still a viable suspect.”

            “I hate this”, Starsky grumbled.  “We never used to have to walk on eggshells like this.”

            “Tell me about it”, Hutch mumbled.

            Starsky’s phone rang and after a short conversation he hung up the phone.

            “What was that about”, Hutch asked.

            “We need to go see the coroner”, Starsky stated.

            They grabbed their jackets and headed out the door.

            Both detectives watched as the coroner opened his filing cabinet.

            “I know you guys will think we’re slipping when I show you this.  You have to understand, how bogged down we get at times.  Unfortunate with a city this size.”

            “Jack, why’d you call us down here”, Hutch asked.

            “Here it is”, Jack said as he pulled a file from the cabinet.  “I had heard you were checking some of your unsolved cases.  This one wasn’t in your district and it just hit me this while I was at lunch.”

            He turned around and handed Hutch the file.

            “I think this is the first murder”, Jack told him.

            Hutch could feel his gut clench as he slowly opened the file.  As he read, he could feel his anger slowly rising.

            “Goddamn, Starsky.”

            “What is it?”

            “This is the first one.  It was missed because she was stabbed six times after being strangled.  The son of a bitch didn’t kill her when he tried to strangle her so he used a damn kitchen knife.”

            Hutch closed the file in frustration and handed it to Starsky.  As Starsky read the file, Hutch rubbed his face with his hands.  He turned around and walked out of the room.  Starsky read a few more minutes and when he walked out to the hallway, he didn’t see Hutch.  Starsky walked a few more minutes and he still couldn’t find Hutch.”

            “Hey, Starsky”, an officer called out to him.

            “Yeah”, he replied.

            “That partner of yours is really losin’ it.”

            “Where is he?”

            “He’s out back.”

            Starsky turned and ran outside.  He found Hutch in the alley.  If it had been clean, it was now a mess.  It was obvious that Hutch had lost his cool.  He walked over to Hutch and didn’t say anything for a moment.

            “Hutch…”

            “That’s eight women, Starsk.  Eight women are dead because of this bastard.”

            Hutch angrily kicked a trash can and Starsky grabbed his arm.

            “We’ll get him, Hutch.”

            “You think so, Starsk?  He’s got that damn high priced lawyer holding court with a judge to protect his ass and we can’t touch him.”

            “We’ll find another way.”

            “How long are you going to keep convincing yourself of that?  That son of a bitch has a get out of jail card, Starsk.  He can kill as many women as he wants and we can’t do a thing about it.”

            Hutch walked over and angrily kicked the trashcan in frustration.

            “I know how you feel, Hutch.  I’ve been kicking myself ever since this whole thing started.  We’ve got to stay focused and stay on this thing.”

            “Do you realize he murdered this woman almost two and a half years ago?  Then once he got his technique down pat, he murdered seven other women and he damn near killed Caitlin.”

            Starsky was silent as Hutch leaned against the brick wall.

            “When we arrested this piece of shit, we thought it was over.  We had a living breathing witness who was willing to put herself through hell to nail this guy.  We had good enough evidence along with the testimony to really nail him.  After all the work and all the hell of finding dead women, it was all for nothing.”

            “Hutch, it’s not over!  Not by a long shot.  We’re not giving up.  Listen buddy.  You’re tired and you haven’t eaten.  Lets head over to Huggy’s have a beer and a burger.  You go home and get a good night’s sleep.  We’ll start over in the morning.”

            Hutch sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair.

            “Go ahead, Starsk.  I’ll catch up with you in the morning.”

            Starsky was silent as Hutch walked back inside.  He looked down at the file in his hand and leaned against the wall.  Hutch was right.  This should have been over already and now they found themselves at the very beginning of this case.  Starsky turned and walked back inside the building.

            Hutch drove around for almost an hour after leaving Starsky in the alley.  He felt so defeated at this point and there seemed to be little hope of nailing this guy.  Hutch stopped his car in front of Caitlin’s house and stared at it before slowly getting out of his car.  He walked to the front door and knocked on her door.

            If there was something in his eyes, he didn’t know it.  But Caitlin knew it as soon as she opened the door.  This wasn’t the same man who had the determination and the drive to bring the one to justice for his crimes.  This was a man who was in pain.

            Both stood for just a brief moment and Hutch reached his hand out.  Caitlin grabbed a hold of it and pulled him close to her.  Hutch grabbed her into his arms and held her tightly.  He brought his lips down on hers.  The pain and the desire he felt for her was intermingled in the kiss. 

            He lifted her in his arms and Caitlin brought her arms around him as he kissed her.  She wrapped her legs around his waist and Hutch carried her in the bedroom.

            Afterwards, they lay in the bed and Hutch held her hand in his.  Hutch didn’t feel like talking and Caitlin seemed to be aware of it.  Hutch caressed Caitlin’s hand and he slowly turned it around and gently touched the faded scar.  She sat up and pulled her hand away from his.

            “It’s okay, Caitlin.  I’m not going to pass judgment on you.”

            She didn’t look at him and laid down next to him.  Hutch kissed the top of her head and held her tightly.  It wasn’t long before they both slept.

            Early the next morning, Hutch woke to the smell of bacon.  He sat up in bed and pulled his shorts on.  He looked up as Caitlin walked into the room with a cup of hot steaming coffee.  She handed it to him.

            “I’m making breakfast”, she signaled to him with a smile.

            “It smells great.  Do I have time for a shower?”

            “Sure.  I keep the towels at the top of my closet.  I don’t have enough room for them anywhere else.”

            After she left, Hutch opened the closet door.  He saw the towels at the top of the closet and when he pulled one down, two more fell with it down to the floor.  Hutch leaned down to pick them up when something in the closet caught his eye.  He leaned forward and pushed some of the clothes that were hanging aside. 

            A guitar case lay quietly in the corner.  When he touched it, he pulled away.  His hand was covered in dust.  Hutch knew it hadn’t been touched in a few years.  He managed to pull it out of the closet and as he did so, the dust floated in his eyes.  Hutch looked down behind and saw sheet music.  He picked up the one on top of the stack and looked at it.  Caitlin had written the music along with words.

            The realization of what he had found hit him.  Not only did she play music, he thought.  She sang.  She used to, Hutch thought grimly.  He sat back letting the horrible discovery soak in.  He heard footsteps and when he looked up, he saw that he had surprised her.  Hutch could see the pain in her eyes.  She turned around and quickly left him alone with his discovery.

            Hutch put everything back where he found it and walked into the bathroom to take a hot steaming shower.  When he finished, he walked in the living room where Caitlin sat on the couch sipping on her coffee.

            “I’m sorry”, he told her.  “It was an accident.”

            She didn’t look at him.  She didn’t even acknowledge his presence and Hutch could see it.

            “Caitlin, don’t treat me like I don’t exist.  It’s what you fight so hard against.”

            She suddenly stood up and stormed into the kitchen.  Hutch stood and when he heard slamming in the kitchen he walked over to where she was and he watched as she slammed the cabinet door repeatedly.

            Hutch walked over and attempted to take Caitlin in his arms.  She shrugged away from him angrily and walked back into the living room.  Hutch followed her and he stopped when she faced him.

            “I want to be angry”, she motioned at him with emotion in her eyes.  “I want to yell and scream.  I want to cry out, but I can’t.”

            “You wanted to sing”, he whispered.  “Now you can’t.”

            Hutch watched as she turned around and after a moment she swung back towards him.

            “I came here to be a singer.  While I auditioned, I was teaching to support myself.  I wrote much of my own music.  After what happened to me, the doctors told me I would never be able to sing and then it became obvious that I would never speak again.  I was devastated and the pain I felt was too powerful and overwhelming.  That’s why…”

            Hutch knew what she was saying.  He could see what she wasn’t willing to express to him.  She had tried to kill herself not because of being raped and almost murdered.  It was because of the loss of her ability to sing.

            “The day you were raped and almost killed was the last day you sang, wasn’t it”, Hutch asked.

            She slowly nodded.

            “My father was a musician”, she expressed to him.  “Music was such a strong and powerful influence in my life.  It breathed life into me.”

            He could only watch as she signaled her pain to him and Hutch stood as the tears formed in her eyes.  He couldn’t move.  He could see she wanted to cry out, but couldn’t.  She ran from the living room and Hutch followed her into the bedroom.  She had pulled the guitar from its case and was holding it over her head.

            He knew she would have smashed it into a million painful pieces.  Hutch walked over and took it from her hands.  Caitlin grabbed him by the shirt and Hutch was torn inside as he looked into the agony in her eyes.  He pulled her tightly against him and she gave him a weak hit on his shoulder.  She held tightly as they slowly sat on the floor.  Hutch could feel his eyes moisten as he felt her shaking body in his arms.

            Hutch began quietly talking.  He couldn’t stop as he told her about how he felt when he had first seen her.  He spoke about the trial and every thing that had happened since.  He told her about every single aspect of the case him and Starsky had been spending so much time on.  Hutch had never spoken to another soul like he was to Caitlin.  He could feel her body slowly relax against his as he told her about his frustrations and the guilt he felt over what had happened at the trial.  When he finished, he sighed heavily. 

            Caitlin sat up and looked at Hutch.

            “You can’t stop”, she motioned to him.  “He will kill again and he won’t stop unless you do it.  I will live with what he did with me for the rest of my life, but I am still alive and so are you.”

            Hutch pulled her close and gently kissed her.

            When Hutch walked into the station, he saw Starsky hunched over his desk.  He had been so wrapped up in this case, he had neglected his best friend.  He couldn’t remember a time when a case had brought so much havoc on their personal lives.  Hutch walked over to Starsky.

            “Let’s go talk for a while”, Hutch told him.

            Half an hour later both men were at the park at an empty basketball court.  They were taking turns shooting the basketball in the basket.

            “I’m sorry, Starsky.  I know I shouldn’t take this as personal as I have.”

            “Blondie, if these cases quit getting to us, I think I’d quit my job.”

            “Would you really think about quitting?”

            “If I thought I was becoming less human in the process, I would.  Hutch, we’re in this for a reason and that’s because we care.  If I quit caring, then I don’t think I’d be a very good cop.”

            “Caitlin used to sing, Starsk.”

            Starsky stopped with the ball in his hand and stared at his friend.

            “She wrote music, played the guitar and she sung.  The day Casey attacked her was the last day she sang.”

            “Hutch, I’m so sorry, buddy.”

            “She tried to kill herself.  I guess after that, she realized how precious life truly was.”

            “I really admire her, Hutch.  She’s lost so much of herself and yet, she’s strong and courageous.”

            “Yeah.  I was so wrapped up in this case and laying the blame at my feet, I forgot the reason why I was doing this.  I pushed you away”, Hutch told him sadly.

            Starsky turned around and tossed the basketball in the air.  He smiled as it went through the basket.  Hutch grabbed the ball and tossed it a bit in his hands.

            “You want to know something”, Starsky asked.  “While you’ve been so busy kicking yourself in the ass, I was doing something else.”

            “What’s that?”

            “You don’t think you’ve cornered the market on laying the blame on yourself, have you?  I’ve been doing plenty of that myself.”

            “Starsky, what the hell are you talking about?”

            “I’ve been a part of this investigation since day one, Hutch.  You don’t think I’ve been thinking about what I did to fail you?  I watched that son of a bitch walk out of that courtroom a free man and all I could think of was how I didn’t hold up my end.  I let you down and I really fuckin’