Stupidity and Other Obstacles
By
Note: This story contains strong language as well as racially and ethnically charged epitaphs and stereotypes. These words and phrases are used for story-line purposes only and do not in any way, shape, or form reflect my personal beliefs. To put it another way, if you offend easily, this story isn't for you. Please direct any comments, complaints, and/or feedback to me, the author. Any historical inaccuracies are mine. I've spent a great deal of time studying the Civil War, Gettysburg in particular, but it's hard to sure exactly what happened more than 140 years ago. Not even the historians know for sure, so cut me some slack. I've done my research, but I'm not perfect.
Station 51
Hank and his crew watched in bewilderment as the tech set up their new computer. “I'm glad I don't have to run that thing,” muttered the Captain. “I wouldn't know where to begin.”
“It does look pretty complicated,” agreed Mike Stoker, eyeing the contraption warily. “Maybe Lou can explain how it works.”
“Did someone take my name in vain?” asked Louisa, coming into the office. “Hi, Jeff,” she greeted the tech.
“Hey, Mrs. Stanley,” Jeff smiled. “I'll be done here in a couple minutes.”
“No hurry,” she replied. “If you guys can tear yourselves away, there's a box of doughnuts in the kitchen with your names on it.”
“Just what the doctor ordered,” grinned Chet. “Come on, beautiful; I'll buy you a cup of coffee.”
“Second good offer I've had this morning,” the young woman laughed, winking at her husband.
“Oh yeah? What was the first?” questioned the Irishman. He caught the look that passed between Hank and his wife and blushed. “Never mind; I think I already know.”
“I hate to interrupt, but the system's ready,” said Jeff. “You wanna try it out, Mrs. Stanley?”
The young woman shook her head. “I promised McConikee that I would until he got here,” she answered. “Go grab a doughnut before they're all gone.”
“Chet, did you eat all the jelly ones?” yelled Johnny from the kitchen.
“Oh, for Pete's sake,” groaned Roy . “Take mine, Junior.”
Louisa rolled her eyes dramatically. “John Roderick Gage, come with me!” she hollered. She took the paramedic's hand and dragged him out to her car. “I bought three raspberry-filled ones just for you,” she said, tossing him a bag. “Let Chet have the lemon-filled. Trust me, you'll be glad you didn't bite into them.”
Before Gage could respond, a loud bellow came from inside. A few seconds later, the Irishman appeared in the doorway, foaming at the mouth. “I'm gonna get you for this, Mrs. Cap!” he screamed.
“What's the matter, Kelly?” she grinned. “You don't like having sparkling-clean, lemon-fresh teeth? Just imagine the money you'll save on breath mints! I was trying to do you a favor!”
“By filling my doughnut with dishwashing liquid?” retorted Chet. “That's low, even for you.”
“Think of it as payback for the itching powder you put in my riding gloves, Chester ,” Louisa shot back. “Honestly, talk about immature!”
“ Me ?!? I'm not the one who put a whoopee cushion under the resuscitation dummy's blouse!” he snapped. “I went to demonstrate chest compressions to a bunch of fifth-graders and…….well, you figure it out!”
A muffled snort from the rear of the bay made them turn. Chief McConikee stood beside the engine, his face twitching madly as he fought to keep from laughing. “You have to admit one thing, Kelly,” he said mildly. “Everyone paid attention after that.”
“Uh, I suppose they did,” muttered Chet, his face turning red. “Excuse me, sir.” He turned and walked towards the latrine, wiping foam out of his mustache.
“Good morning, Pat,” smiled Louisa. “Jeff has the computer all hooked up if you'd like to check it out.” She swallowed nervously when the Chief eyed her sternly. “You're not mad about my little prank with the dummy, are you?”
“No, lass, but I'd appreciate it if you'd give me some advance warning next time,” replied McConikee, his eyes twinkling.
“There won't be a next time,” said Hank from the doorway. “Isn't that right, honey?”
“Yes, dear,” answered the young woman, her eyes downcast. “I promise.”
The Captain glanced at the open latrine door and grinned. “Don't tell Kelly, but I thought it was pretty funny,” he admitted. “But I wouldn't recommend a repeat performance.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Once you've entered the details for each run, you click this tab,” Jeff was saying. “The system will prompt you to choose a destination folder. I've created a separate file for each shift, so it all you have to do is highlight either A, B, or C and click the ‘save' button. Go ahead and try one now.”
Louisa picked up the station's logbook and flipped it open. “I'd like to start from a blank screen,” she said.
“All right,” answered the tech. “Execute the program the way I showed you.”
With a few basic commands, the young woman opened the file she wanted and began to enter the raw data. Half an hour later, she sat back and smiled. “What kind of report would you like first, Chief?” she asked. “And from what shift?”
“Runs involving motor vehicle accidents from A-shift,” replied McConikee. “You mean we can track each kind of response without going through the entire log?”
“Sure,” Louisa nodded. “Just type a few key words into the search engine and the computer goes through and comes up with a list.”
“You can even compare responses from two different time periods,” added Jeff. “Isn't technology wonderful?”
“Yeah, if you know what you're doing,” joked Hank. “I'm lucky I can run the copier some days.”
“That's why chiefs have secretaries,” chuckled McConikee. He handed Louisa a stack of old log books. “How long will it take you enter all this into the system?”
“If I get started right away, a week or two, maybe less,” she answered. “Can I take these home with me?”
“I don't see why not,” smiled the Chief. “Well, boys, I have to get back to Headquarters for a meeting. May I escort you to your car, Louisa?”
Just then, Roy poked his head into the office. “Lou, phone for you. A Mrs. Crandall.”
“Why would the school nurse be calling me here?” the young woman wondered, picking up the phone on Hank's desk. “This is Mrs. Stanley. Yes, I can come to the school. May I ask what this is about? I see; I'll be there in twenty minutes. Thank you for calling, ma'am.”
“Honey, what is it?” said the Captain. “Did something happen to the kids?”
“Matthew was sent to the principal's office,” replied his wife. “I'll call you as soon as I know the details.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Fremont Junior High School
Louisa yanked open the school's front door and came face-to-face with a uniformed hall monitor. “May I help you?” he questioned, gasping when she shoved past him and went into the office. “I'm Mrs. Louisa Stanley,” she said to the receptionist. “I'm here to see Mr. Guilder.”
They gray-haired woman nodded briskly. “He's waiting for you, ma'am. Second room on the left.”
The principal looked up when she came in. “Mrs. Stanley, thank you for coming,” he said. “Please sit down. Mrs. Crandall and your son will join us in a moment. Would you like some coffee?”
“No, thank you,” she answered, turning when Matthew walked in holding an ice pack to his cheek. “Oh my God! Were you in a fight?”
The boy started to reply, but Guilder cut him off. “He claims Mrs. Granger hit him,” the principle explained. “Frankly, I don't believe that for a minute.”
“My son doesn't lie!” Louisa growled, her eyes blazing. “Tell me what happened, baby.”
“We're learning about the Old West in history class, so Mrs. Granger wanted us to write a paper about it,” Matthew told her. “She gave a list of topics to pick from, like Jesse James, General Custer, and Wyatt Earp. I asked her if I could write about Indians and she said no because all Indians were bad.”
“And how does that old prune puss know that?” the young woman grumbled, making Mrs. Crandall laugh.
“I asked her, Mama, but she told me to sit down and be quiet. I said she didn't know nothing about Indians and that was when she slapped me. I wasn't being sassy, honest.”
“Mrs. Granger thought otherwise,” interrupted Guilder. “That's why she sent Matthew to my office.”
“I'd like to speak to her,” said Louisa. “If you don't get her down here, I'll fetch her myself.”
“I'll get her,” put in Mrs. Crandall. “Excuse me.”
The principal leaned back in his chair. “Mrs. Stanley, you're making a big deal out of nothing,” he sniffed.
“I disagree!” she retorted angrily. “If I find out that woman did strike my son, you and your precious school are going to be in deep trouble!”
Laura Granger, Matthew's history teacher, knocked on the door then pushed it open. “I don't appreciate being interrupted in the middle of a lesson, Curtis!” she barked. “This better be good!”
Louisa faced the woman squarely, her cheeks red with fury. “Believe me, lady, it is!” she snarled. “I'm Matthew Stanley's mother. What is this I hear about you hitting my son and telling him all Indians are bad?!?”
“It was just a little tap,” the teacher replied. “As for Indians, they're nothing but good-for-nothing beggars and heathen trash.”
“Is that so?” questioned the young woman, her voice deceptively soft and pleasant. “How do you know that?”
“Just look at the facts,” answered Mrs. Granger with a haughty smile. “They kill without mercy and live like animals. Need I say more?”
“You're basing your opinion on more than one hundred years of history written from the white man's point-of-view,” Louisa murmured quietly. “Tell me, ma'am, have you ever met an Indian?”
“What difference does that make?” snapped the teacher. “I wouldn't have to meet one of those savages to know how evil they were.”
“I hate to rain on your parade, but you're talking to one right now.”
“That's absurd,” she replied. “Anyone can see that you're as white as I am.”
“Appearances can be deceiving,” said the young woman. “I may have my father's pale skin, but my high cheekbones and dark coloring were inherited from my great-great-grandmother, Sweet Meadow Grass.”
Mrs. Crandall smiled brightly. “What a beautiful name!” she gushed. “Your grandmother was Indian then? What tribe and how did she meet your grandfather?”
“Lakota Sioux,” answered Louisa. “My great-great-grandfather, Amos Sutton, came west in 1885 and started a cattle ranch. He was out looking for a lost cow one stormy day, slipped on a patch of ice, and broke his leg. A Sioux hunting party found him and took him back to their village. Their chief, Running Bear, spoke passable English and made it clear that Grandpa was an honored guest and wouldn't be harmed. Amos spent almost a month with the tribe and became a trusted friend. The following spring, he returned to the village with half a dozen prime steers and asked Running's Bear for permission to call on his daughter, Sweet Meadow Grass. They got married five months later in a ceremony performed in both English and Lakota. According to Grandpa's diary, the minister almost swallowed his tongue when Buffalo Calf, the tribe's medicine man, lit a bundle of sage and danced around the room screeching like a banshee!”
Principal Guilder's jaw dropped. “In a church ?!?” he gasped. “Why would he do something like that?”
“To purify the building and ask for the Great Spirit's blessing,” grinned Matthew, clearly enjoying the man's scandalized expression.
Mrs. Granger looked confused. “I don't understand. Who or what is the Great Spirit?”
“I guess you would call him our version of God,” smiled the young woman. “Contrary to popular belief, Indians aren't heathen savages. In fact, most of our legends are very similar to the stories found in the Bible. They're just told in a different way.”
“I'd love to hear them,” said Mrs. Crandall. “Could we meet for lunch some time this week?”
“Would you ladies mind if I tagged along?” asked Guilder. “I have a proposition for Mrs. Stanley.”
“Why don't we make it a foursome? Mrs. Granger, how about it? Will you join us?” said Louisa. “I'll even ask my cousin to come along, but I better warn you. He's very opinionated and eats like a horse.”
“He talks with his mouth full, too,” piped up Matthew. “Mama says it's bad manners, but he doesn't listen.”
“In one ear and out the other, huh?” chuckled the teacher. “I have a few students like that. Sure, why not? Are you free Saturday afternoon?”
“Johnny is off that day, but I'm on-duty until eleven o'clock ,” answered the young woman. She raised an eyebrow at the principal. “There's still the question of Mrs. Granger striking my son and his homework assignment.”
Guilder sighed. “Matthew can write about anything he wants. How would you like me to deal with the other thing?”
“I'll let you know on Saturday, after I speak to my husband,” grinned Louisa. “For now, I'd like to take my boy home. He's had quite enough excitement for one day.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Station 51, That Afternoon
“She did what ?!?” bellowed Hank, a vein popping out on his forehead. “I certainly hope you gave that old biddy a piece of your mind!”
“Not exactly, but I'm not finished with her yet,” admitted Louisa, her eyes twinkling devilishly. “That's where you guys come in. We're going to teach Mrs. Granger what happens when you judge a person based on their heritage.”
The men exchanged worried glances. “What exactly did you have in mind?” asked Roy .
“Think stereotypes,” the young woman grinned.
Chet and Marco looked at each other , then burst out laughing. “Stock up on Irish whiskey and Mexican tequila!” giggled Kelly. “You should let McConikee in on this! Two Irishman will make it even more interesting!”
“Yeah, especially when there's only one functioning brain between them,” snickered Johnny. “I guess I better sharpen my tomahawk.”
“What about Cap?” said Mike. “What's his role in this little charade?”
“My grandfather was Scottish,” supplied the Captain. “I can wear a kilt and play the bagpipes.”
Louisa rolled her eyes. “Honey, I want to show Mrs. Granger how stupid she's being, not give her nightmares,” she teased. “Besides, a breeze might kick up and expose your, uh, assets .”
“I could live without seeing that !” laughed Roy . “Or his hairy legs, either.”
“All it takes is a razor, Pally,” said Gage. “Problem solved.”
The young woman studied her husband thoughtfully. A giggle bubbled up in her throat and she clamped a hand over her mouth to keep it from escaping.
“I think someone forgot to take their medication this morning,” muttered Chet.
“Come on, little sister,” Marco coaxed. “Let us in on the joke.”
“Picture it: Hank in the bathroom trying to decide what to shave first: his legs or his face!” snorted Louisa, mirthful tears streaming down her cheeks. “And then griping about how much the Aqua Velva….” The rest of her sentence was lost in a burst of hysterical laughter.
“ Please let us get a call,” whispered Roy . “A cat in a tree, a dumpster fire, anything to get us out of here before we're all infected.”
The Big Fireman in the Sky must have been listening because, at that moment, the klaxon went off, followed by the soothing voice of the dispatcher. “Station 51, house fire, 314 Pico Avenue . 3-1-4 Pico, cross street Blythe, time out 10:39 .”
“Saved by the bell,” grinned Stoker. “Nice going, Desoto.”
Saturday Morning
Vince knocked on the Stanley 's front door and took a step backward when a figure clad tight cut-off shorts and a halter top answered. “Mrs. Stanley?” he questioned uncertainly.
“Why, Mister Howard! How nice to see y'all!” Louisa exclaimed, adopting a thick Southern accent. “Won't y'all come in and sit a spell?”
The African-American police officer tipped an imaginary top-hat and grinned. “It will be my pleasure, Ellie Mae,” he boomed. “I must say, you're prettier than a spring morning.”
The young woman playfully tapped his chin with the corn-cob pipe she was holding and giggled. “Sweet talker!” she teased in her normal voice. “Seriously, I appreciate you helping me with this.”
Vince waved a dismissive hand. “Consider it a service,” he smiled. “I can't wait to take Mrs. Granger down a few pegs. People like her really burn me up. Is anyone else here yet?”
“Johnny, Roy, Chet, and Marco are in the backyard and Mike is on his way over,” said Louisa. “The others will be here shortly.”
“What's the line-up?” Howard asked.
“Two Irishmen, two Mexicans, one Italian, , a Pole, a German, a Frenchman, a Lakota Indian, a Southerner, two African-Americans, and a Chinese guy. ” she grinned, ticking them off on her fingers. “All in all, a total of a dozen people. Hank and Mike decided they just wanted to watch, so I asked them to referee in case things get out of hand.”
“Good idea,” replied Vince as he followed her through the house. “Is everything ready?”
“Almost. Mami didn't want any part of this ‘disgusting display', as she called it, so I asked her to watch the kids. Matthew wanted to stay, but I thought it would be better if he didn't.”
“What are you going to do if this doesn't work?” questioned Howard. “Or haven't you considered that possibility?”
“Don't worry, my friend,” Louisa answered, her eyes cold. “I have a back-up plan.”
“Hey, Vince!” hollered Johnny. “Ready to raise some hell?” The paramedic was dressed in full warrior regalia, complete with feather bonnet and war paint. “Nice outfit, Cousin,” he smirked. “You should wear that to the hospital tomorrow and give the patients a thrill.”
“And spend the entire shift getting my butt pinched?” she joked. “As tempting as that sounds, I think I'll pass.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Two Hours Later
“This must be the place,” said Principal Guilder. “Now, Laura, I'm counting on you to keep an open mind and listen to what Mrs. Stanley has to say.”
Mrs. Granger speared him with a look and sighed. “Don't worry, Curtis,” she answered. “I'll be on my best behavior.”
“Places, people; they just pulled up!” called Hank. He opened the front door, greeting his guests with a broad smile. “Good afternoon. Won't you come in? Everyone is out on the deck.”
The instant the Captain led his visitors outside, their jaws dropped in surprise. Chet and McConikee were lounging in the grass, sharing a bottle of whiskey and singing drunkenly. Marco and Miguel Sanchez were standing over a pot of chili, swilling tequila and quarrelling about how many jalapeños to use. Off to the side, Roy and Fred Kosakowski were telling French and Polish jokes. Xiu Chang, a friend of Louisa's from the hospital, grabbed Mrs. Granger's arm. “Washee shirtee?” he cackled. “Chang have ancient Chinese secret for washing!”
Before the woman could react, Louisa appeared. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!” she squealed, adopting an extremely thick Southern accent. “I'm so glad y'all could join us for some chittlins and grits! ‘Course we got fried chicken and watermelon, but we're saving that for the niggers! Hey, Tony, you goddamn wop! Get my friends some wine and not the crap you stomped yourself!”
“They can have some of this!” yelled Captain Stone, holding up a bottle of Ripple.
“Who said you could drink, you ignorant coon?!?” the young woman snapped. “Stupid tar babies can't hold their booze,” she said to Guilder. “Abe Lincoln never should have freed the darky bastards. Gimme that before I beat your black ass!”
At that moment, Mike came around the corner of the house, dragging Johnny by the hair. “I caught this filthy redskin trying to steal your mare, Lou,” he grumbled. “What do you want me to do with him?”
“In the good old days, I'd have given him a taste of the hang rope, family or not,” Louisa snarled. “Let him go, but stay sharp. If he tries to escape, shoot him. Ain't like anyone will care if we exterminate this piece of vermin.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As the afternoon progressed, Louisa and her co-conspirators bombarded Guilder and Gardner with a vast assortment of ethnic and racial slurs, stereotypes and generally crude remarks. Mike and Hank observed from the sidelines, hiding their amusement behind carefully blank expressions. “It's about time for Lou to move in for the kill. I better give her the signal,” whispered the engineer, lifting a hand to scratch his nose.
The young woman caught the gesture and winked at him. She leaned toward Mrs. Granger and smiled sweetly. “Did you know that black men are supposed to be amazing in the sack?” she asked, loud enough for everyone to hear.
The teacher's cheeks flushed. “Is that right?” she replied, her voice faint.
“That's what I've been told,” Louisa answered. “Of course I would never lower myself to sleep with one of those jungle bunnies, but they're rumored to have enormous dicks. Must be all the sunshine back there in Africa that makes them grow so big.”
“All right!” shouted Curtis. “Enough is enough! Mrs. Stanley, you got upset when Laura made derogatory comments about Indians and then turn out to be an even bigger bigot that she is! It's completely ludicrous! I demand an explanation for your behavior!”
The young woman grinned at him. “I set this whole thing up to show what happens when a person is judged solely on their race or ethnic background,” she said. “Mrs. Granger thinks all Indians are thieves and murderers, but freely admits that she has never met one. So how did she form this opinion?”
“It's in all the books,” the teacher whispered, her face red. “I just assumed it was true.”
“You shouldn't believe everything you read,” put in Johnny. “Most history is written from the white man's point-of-view. What do the books say about the Washita ?”
“That Custer attacked the village to punish the Indians for a series of raids on innocent settlers,” replied Mrs. Granger.
“How did Custer know the Cheyenne warriors responsible for the raids were in that particular village?” questioned the paramedic. “Did he have any proof?”
The woman bit her lip. “Well, no, but he thought they were,” she answered.
“Based on what?” Louisa interrupted. “The word of his Crow scouts? All that bastard wanted was a few scalps to hang on his belt.”
Principal Guilder laughed. “I'm so glad someone else shares my low opinion of that strutting peacock,” he chuckled. “If that cretin had been elected President, this country would have gone to hell in a hand basket. Wasn't Black Kettle the Chief of the village that was raided?”
“Yes, he was,” replied the young woman. “How did you know that?”
Guilder smiled. “My Dad taught history at the University of Chicago for thirty-five years,” he said. “He used to show up to class dressed as different historical figures. His costumes were always completely authentic, right down to the smallest detail. Once he even wore a Confederate cavalry officer's uniform and reenacted Pickett's Charge on the campus lawn. His students loved it, but the Dean was less than thrilled.”
“He sounds like quite a character,” commented Johnny. “I wish my teachers had been that creative with their lesson plans.”
Marco slung an arm around his sister's shoulders. “Remember Miss Hammond and her special field trips, Lou?” he asked, his dark eyes sparkling.
Louisa started to giggle. “How could I forget? It's not every day you see your teacher stick her arm up a cow's behind! Man, was she a first-class weirdo!”
Mrs. Granger shook her head. “I did my internship with a lady who used Chuck Berry lyrics to teach grammar,” she said. “Well, at least until she found out he was black. After that, she switched to Elvis Presley songs.” She paused as the realization sunk in. “My God, I'm behaving just like Mrs. Coleman. Okay, I get it now, but why go to all the trouble of putting on this charade?”
“You should be grateful that I didn't take this matter to the Superintendent of Schools!” the young woman snapped. “And let me tell you, it crossed my mind more than once!”
“Go ahead,” the older woman smirked. “I've been accused of this before and never received so much as a slap on the wrist.”
“That is about to change,” answered Louisa, her eyes frosty. “I asked a close friend of mine to do a little digging into your past and you won't believe what she uncovered. It's all right here in her report. I think the school board would find it quite interesting, don't you? Not to mention the local police and the other parents.”
“Mrs. Stanley, please. I see no reason to resort to empty threats,” Guilder cut in.
“It's standard procedure to do a background check on anyone who applies for a position at your school, correct?” she retorted.
“Absolutely, but Laura came highly recommended, so we didn't feel it was necessary in her case.”
“Then you made a huge mistake,” Louisa shot back. “Mrs. Granger claimed that she's never been reprimanded for hitting a student, but she was lying and I have proof !” She dropped a sheaf of papers onto his lap. “What are you waiting for?!? Read it !”
Beads of sweat broke out on the teacher's forehead. “No, Curtis, don't; she's right. I wasn't completely honest when I told you why I left Maryland . The truth is, the school board gave me an ultimatum: either resign my position or face assault charges.”
“And those letters praising your character?” questioned Guilder.
“All forgeries written by my husband and friends,” she whispered. “What's going to happen now that you know the truth? Please, Mrs. Stanley; I really need this job.”
The young woman snorted derisively. “Tell it to the school board. Mr. Guilder, could I speak to you in private?” She went into the house, expecting the man to follow, and dropped onto the sofa. “I know I've put you in a difficult situation and I'm truly sorry,” she began. “If we put our heads together, I think we can come up with a plausible solution.”
“I agree,” he nodded. “The semester will be over in less than two months, so it would be counter-productive to call in a substitute at this time. If Mrs. Granger was kept under constant supervision, would you allow her to continue teaching and retire at the end of the year?”
“That works for me,” Louisa answered, “but if she so much as lays a finger on another student, I'll go straight to the school board and the police, after I personally beat the living daylights out of her, is that clear?”
“ Crystal ,” the principal gulped. “And if Laura doesn't keep her end of the bargain?”
“I think we both know the answer to that question,” she replied quietly.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Rampart, Two Days Later
“Dix, you should have seen the look on Mrs. Granger's face when Lou said that!” laughed Johnny. “I thought she was gonna swallow her tongue!”
The nurse shook her head and giggled. “Too bad Kel and I were out of town,” she replied. “It must have been quite a sight.”
“It was,” chuckled Roy , leaning against the wall near the base station. He spotted Louisa coming down the hall and waved. “Speak of the devil and she appears,” he joked. “We were just telling Dixie about our little adventure on Saturday.”
The young woman grinned. “You guys aren't the only ones flapping your gums,” she answered. “Vince must have told every cop within a thirty-mile radius what happened. I ran into Pete Malloy this morning and he couldn't even look me in the eye without laughing.”
“Are those my test results?” barked Dr. Kent Donaldson from a treatment room. “What took so long, Mrs. Stanley?”
“I apologize for the delay,” said Louisa pleasantly, trying unsuccessfully to hide her dislike of the brusque doctor. “One of my techs is out with the flu , so we're short-handed today. I'm working as fast as I can, but I only have two hands.”
“If you can't handle the workload, maybe we should find a replacement,” snorted Donaldson. “Now, get back to work!”
“Whatever you say, Doctor,” she replied. “You know, seeing your cheerful face always brightens my day.” She turned and walked away, muttering under her breath.
“A real charmer, ain't he?” smirked Gage. “What's his problem anyway?”
Dixie sighed. “He applied for a position at the Mayo Clinic, but they turned him down,” she answered. “Needless to say, it hasn't exactly improved his attitude. Sooner or later, he'll tangle with the wrong person and Kel will have to fire him.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Matthew and Robert were sitting on the front steps when their mother got home that evening. She climbed out of her car, noticing that both of her sons were abnormally subdued. “Hey, boys,” she called. “Why the long faces?”
“Because they broke a window, Mama!” shouted Emma from the porch swing. “They were playing catch too close to the house again!”
“No one likes a tattletale, missy,” Louisa answered sternly. “I'm sure it was an accident, right, Matthew?”
The boy nodded, his eyes downcast. “Yes, ma'am,” he whispered. “The ball bounced off my glove. You can punish me if you want, Mama; it's okay.”
“I don't think that will be necessary,” said the young woman. “But I'll have to withhold your allowance until the new window is paid for.”
“Oh, sure !” Emma complained. “Let him off easy because he's your favorite! It's not fair, damn it!”
Louisa's jaw clenched and she glared at her daughter. “Watch your language, Emma Rose,” she growled. “You're already on shaky ground because of that stunt you pulled last week.”
The girl rolled her eyes. “So I let Janie ride Saffron without getting permission first,” she muttered. “Lighten up, warden; nobody got hurt.”
The young woman took a deep breath and counted to ten before replying. “Matthew, take your brother in the house. Come with me, young lady; I want to show you something.” She led her daughter to the barn, stopping in front of Saffron's stall. The mare nickered softly and nuzzled her owner's shoulder. “What do you see?”
Emma shot her mother a confused look. “A horse?” she guessed. “Technically, a mare.”
“I see several hundred pounds of bone, muscle, and brute strength,” answered Louisa soberly. “Any horse, even one as mellow as Saffy here, can turn vicious without warning or reason. Let me give you an example. When I worked for the Johnsons, it was my job to assist the farrier when he came to shoe our horses. One day, we were putting a new set of irons on Daisy, Phil's palomino mare.”
“The same horse Daddy rode?” questioned the girl, her interest obvious.
The young woman nodded, a brief smile curving her lips. “As I was saying, we were nailing the last shoe in place when, all of a sudden, Daisy just went crazy, kicking and bucking up a storm. Dorothy's cousin, Jasper Miller, was visiting from Kansas at the time and was struck in the head by one of her flying hooves. The impact shattered his skull and he went down like a ton of bricks. I still have nightmares about that day,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face.
“Was he okay?” said Emma, her voice shaking.
“No, baby; not by a long shot,” Louisa replied softly. “Jasper has been in a coma since the accident. Even if he does wake up, he'll never be able to lead a normal life. The doctors at the hospital are amazed he has lived this long.” She turned haunted eyes on her daughter. “Now do you understand why I got angry?”
The girl swallowed hard, then nodded. “Yes, Mama, but Janie says you're just being mean. She's always talking back and stuff. I don't think she was raised right.”
The young woman chuckled. “That's something her parents will have to work out for themselves,” she answered. “Let's get washed up for supper. I don't know about you , young miss, but I'm starving!”
Three Days Later
“Dix, have you seen Louisa?” asked Joe Early. “I wanted to discuss a case with her.”
“She's going over some test results with Dr. Donaldson,” answered the nurse. “Does Captain Stanley know you're marking time with his wife?” she teased.
Before he could reply, Louisa and Donaldson appeared, talking in low voices. “I'd like you to take care of these yourself,” the doctor was saying. “Notify me as soon as the results are in.”
“I'll run them right now, Kent,” the young woman replied. “Everyone else is at lunch, so the lab will be empty.”
I suppose I don't have to tell you that discretion is a must,” said Donaldson.
Louisa shook her head. “No, sir. I know what's at stake here.” She spotted Early and went over to greet him. “I'm sorry, Joe. I have to get these done. Can I meet you in the cafeteria in about forty-five minutes?”
“Of course,” smiled the neurosurgeon. “Page me when you're free.”
“Better get moving,” grinned Dixie . “It's not smart to keep Dr. Kent waiting.”
The young woman sighed heavily. “In this case, it won't make much difference. Excuse me, please.” She walked away, muttering under her breath. “God, I hate this part of my job,” they heard her say.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
One Hour Later
Dr. Donaldson skimmed the lab report he was holding and groaned. “Are you positive these numbers are correct?”
Louisa nodded sadly. “I ran them twice to be sure,” she whispered. “How long do you think he has?”
“Barring a miracle, six months at the most,” he growled. “Damn it, why didn't he come in sooner?!?”
“I wish I could answer that, Kent ,” replied the young woman, squeezing his hand sympathetically. “Is there anything I can do?”
The doctor snorted. “Yeah, turn back the clock!” he snapped. “I'm sorry, Mrs. Stanley. None of this is your fault. Please forgive me.”
“It's all right, Doctor,” said Louisa. “Would you like to be there when you give him the bad news?”
“I'd appreciate that,” Kent smiled. “Lord knows he'll need all the support he can get.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The man looked up when Kent and Louisa entered his room. “Well, hello, Mrs. Stanley,” he said. “What are you doing here?”
Louisa flashed a wobbly smile. “I dropped by to see if you were behaving yourself,” she murmured, desperately praying she sounded convincing. “They treating you okay?”
“Can't complain,” grinned the man. “You look awfully serious, Doc. Something wrong?”
“You could say that,” Donaldson replied. “Your tests results are in and it's not good news. The cancer is back and spreading at an alarming rate.”
The man's wife gasped and turned white. “But it can be treated with chemotherapy like before, right?” she questioned.
“No, ma'am; unfortunately, this type of cancer does not respond to chemo,” said Kent . “I'm very sorry.”
“There must be something you can do!” she wailed. “Some new drug or surgical procedure!”
“If there was, he would tell us, sweetheart,” whispered the man, patting her shoulder. “How much time do you figure I have left, Doc?”
“I don't know exactly,” answered Donaldson. “Five, six months, maybe more, maybe less.”
“My God. I appreciate your honesty, sir. Most doctors wouldn't be so candid. I'd like to be alone with my wife now, if you don't mind. We have a few things to discuss.”
“Certainly. I'll get started on your release papers. If you need anything, ask one of the nurses to page me.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
That Evening
“And then, this huge elephant comes strolling down the middle of the road,” Captain Stanley was saying. “It stepped on the squad and smashed it flat with Gage and Desoto inside.”
“That's nice,” his wife answered, clearly distracted. “Matthew, don't give your carrots to the dog. He doesn't like them either.”
“Honey, did you even hear a word I just said? I tell you Gage and Desoto were crushed by an elephant and you don't even bat at eye? Is something bothering you?”
Louisa glanced up at him. “I guess my mind is somewhere else,” she replied, getting to her feet. “Emma, when you finish eating, clear the table, then start on your homework. I'll load the dishwasher when I get back.”
“Where are you going?” questioned Hank. “Gage and the Desotos will be here in half an hour!”
“Don't get your knickers in a twist,” grinned the young woman. “I'm not going far. I just need some time to get my thoughts together.” Saying this, she went out the back door and headed for the barn.
Before the Captain could follow, the telephone rang. “Hello, Stanley residence. Uh, she stepped out for a bit. Can I have her call you back? Hold on, let me get a pen. Lab technician meeting tomorrow at eleven o'clock in the fifth floor lounge. Okay, I'll tell her.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Louisa entered Chief's stall, smiling when the paint stallion nickered a greeting. She buried her face in the horse's mane and leaned against him for support. “You wanna know a secret, fella?” she whispered. “Sometimes I wonder if God really exists. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with terminal cancer today. Oh sure, medical science has made a lot of progress in recent years, but not enough to save his life! Damn it, if God loves us so much, why does He let things like this happen?!?” she sobbed, her control breaking.
Hank stood in the doorway, his mouth hanging open. “ What is she talking about?” he thought. “What friend?” Suddenly, he felt guilty for eavesdropping and ducked out of sight before she saw him standing there.
The young woman sniffled and wiped her face with her sleeve. “Crying about this won't do any good,” she grumbled, leading the animal out of the stall and swinging onto his back. The horse leaped forward, instinctively knowing where his mistress wanted to go. “That's it, Chief,” Louisa praised. “Take me to the caves.”
Captain Stanley watched as his wife rode up the canyon, then returned to the house. “She'll tell me what's going on when she's ready,” he whispered. “I hope .”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“If Lou was talking about a patient, she won't be able to tell us anything, Cap,” Johnny said. “You know that.”
Hank nodded and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, but I've never seen her get that upset about a patient before,” he replied.
The paramedic grinned. “Sure you have,” he joked. “Whenever one of us gets hurt.”
“I'd think she'd be used to you checking into the Rampart Hotel by now ,Junior,” snickered Roy . “Aren't they naming a wing after you next month?”
“That's not nice, Uncle Roy!” protested Emma, jumping to Gage's defense. “Uncle Johnny is very brave, even if he is a klutz! At least he's not afraid of heights!”
“Yeah!” crowed Johnny. “Wait a minute! I'm not a klutz!”
“Wanna bet?” laughed Stanley . “Your accident reports alone could fill an entire filing cabinet.”
Before the junior paramedic could respond, a clatter of hooves caught their attention. Hank crossed to the window and gasped when he spotted Chief standing near the corral. He dashed outside just in time to see his wife coming down the canyon trail at a dead run. The young woman's clothing was covered with dust and torn in several places. Blood trickled from a shallow cut above her eye, mixing with the mud smeared across her cheeks like war paint.
“What in the world?!? Honey, are you all right? What happened?” asked the Captain in one breath.
Louisa raised an eyebrow in his direction. “Do I look all right?” she growled. “That crazy beast shied at a stupid rabbit and tossed me off! At least I think it was a rabbit! It's hard to see anything when you're flying through the air!”
“Maybe he was just feeling his oats ,so to speak,” snickered Roy , his blue eyes twinkling. “Seriously, what part of your body did you land on?”
“My backside,” the young woman shot back, grinning wolfishly. “Want me to drop my pants so you can check it out, Mr. Desoto?” she quipped.
The paramedic blushed to the roots of his hair. “Uh, I don't think that will be, uh, necessary,” he stammered.
“That's enough, Cousin,” laughed Johnny. “Don't make him the butt of any jokes.”
“Sure, spoil my fun. I'll be fine after a nice, hot shower and few dozen aspirin. As for you, Chief, no more tossing people in the mud,” she scolded, leading the horse into the barn.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
One Week Later
Hank entered the auditorium with his crew and whistled in awe. “Looks like every man in the Department is here,” he marveled. “Wonder why?”
“Good question,” answered Mike Stoker. “What did McConikee say when you asked?”
“Not much; now that I think about it, he was pretty evasive ,” said the Captain. “Let's find our seats.”
“We're right behind you, Fearless Leader,” said Chet.
“Shut up and come on, Prince Plunger,” Hank shot back, making the others laugh.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The hum of conversation faded away to silence when McConikee appeared from behind the curtain, followed by Captain Stone . “Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? I suppose you're wondering why we're here. This is a very sad day for the Los Angeles County Fire Department, but I'll let the person who called this meeting tell you why. Captain, the floor is yours.”
“Thanks, Pat. I'm not very good at making speeches, so I will come right to the point. Last week, I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. After talking it over with my wife and Chiefs McConikee and Houts, I have decided to resign from the fire service, effective immediately. Rest assured, boys, I'm not giving up, just facing the facts. I've made a lot of good friends in the Department over the years and I'm going to miss all of you.” Captain Stone grinned, his eyes sparkling. “Heck, I'll even miss the mountains of paperwork !” he joked. “Frank Lucas from Station 110 will be taking over for me. I'm sure he'll do a fine job, especially since he dealt with John Gage for three years. Just kidding, John. Any man who can put up with Chet Kelly for as long as you have is either tougher than rawhide or a complete nutcase!”
“Or both!” hollered Miguel Sanchez, drawing a general laugh. “I think I speak for everyone when I say we'll miss you, Stoney. The Department won't be the same with you around.”
“Yeah, now I'm the biggest hard-ass in the County!” shouted Captain Hookraider, displaying a rare flash of humor.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Station 51, The Next Day
“Man, Roy , can you believe it about Captain Stone?” said Johnny, obviously depressed. “There has to be something we can do!”
“I know how you feel, Junior, but all we can do is pray for a miracle,” answered Desoto.
Gage snorted rudely. “I tried that once before, Pally,” he grumbled. “It doesn't work, believe me.”
“What doesn't work?” asked Louisa as she entered the station through the rear bay door.
“Nothing,” the dark-haired paramedic grouched. “You knew about Stoney, didn't you? That's why you were so upset the other day.”
The young woman nodded sadly. “Dr. Donaldson asked me to do the labs personally,” she replied. “I didn't understand exactly why until I saw who they were for. I was there when Kent gave him the bad news, too.”
“That must have been tough,” Roy commented. “How did he take it?”
“Better than I expected,” she said. “It was almost like he already knew what Dr. Donaldson was going to say.”
“Maybe he did,” put in Chet from the dayroom. “I'm glad you stopped by, Lou. The Fury's brakes are acting weird and I can't figure out why.”
“Then call Charlie,” answered Louisa, grinning when a horrified expression crossed the Irishman's face. “Go pop the hood and I'll see if I can find the problem. It's probably something simple, like the owner.”
“Thanks a lot,” Kelly retorted, watching anxiously as the young woman crawled under the car.
“Pads and rotors are fine.” She bent over the engine, muttering to herself. “No wonder your brakes are acting up! The fluid reservoir is almost empty! When was the last time you checked it?”
“Didn't know I had to,” said Chet. “Is that important?”
“Of course it is, you dipstick!” Louisa snapped, shooting him an ‘I'm-surrounded - by-idiots' look. “Think about this for a second, Chester . Say you're out driving one day and come to a traffic signal. The light is red, so you push down on the brake pedal. Unfortunately, your fluid is low, so instead of stopping, your car keeps going. It smashes head-on into a garbage truck and, in the blink of an eye, they're serving you up as tomorrow's special at the Roadkill Café.” She glared at him, hands on her hips. “Is any of this getting through that thick skull of yours?”
“Yes, ma'am,” Kelly murmured. “I'll make sure to check the brake fluid every week, I promise. The oil, too.”
“You better, pal,” the young woman growled. “Because if you forget and fry a piston, you'll be taking your meals standing up, comprende ?”
“I'd rather enjoy a good beating,” joked the Irishman. “Will you use the big paddle and spank me hard, Mistress?”
“Let's just say that the engine won't be the only red thing in this station,” chuckled Louisa.
One Week Later
“Okay, Lopez, you got us here,” said Roy . “What's up?”
Marco grinned. “We're going to throw a surprise anniversary party for my sister and Cap,” he answered.
“In May ?” exclaimed Johnny. “Their anniversary isn't until October.”
“That's why it will be a surprise,” the Latino fireman pointed out. “They won't see it coming.”
“I'm not sure anyone is up for a party after Captain Stone's announcement,” commented Chet.
“It was his idea, amigo ,” Marco replied. “Stoney will invite Lou and Cap over for a cookout.”
“And when they arrive, we'll tell them the party is really for them,” finished Mike. “It's just sneaky enough to work. Count me in!”
“How about two weeks from this coming Saturday sound?” said Desoto. “We're off that weekend.”
“Works for me,” grinned Johnny. “What about a gift?”
“I have something in mind, but I'll need your help to pull it off,” Lopez smiled, outlining his plan. “You think they'll like it?”
“I don't know about Cap, but Lou will go bananas when she finds out!” laughed Gage.
“You mean she's not already?” snickered Chet.
“Only when you're around, Kelly,” giggled Stoker.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Two Weeks Later
“Do you think you made enough potato salad?” chuckled Hank, eyeing the huge bowl his wife was carrying.
“With Johnny around, it's safer to make enough to feed an army,” Louisa joked.
“In that case, we better tell the farmers in Idaho to double their production this year,” grinned the Captain.
“Triple,” she giggled. “You know how he eats. I just wish I knew where he puts it all!”
“Hollow head,” dead-panned Hank. “Runs in the family.”
His wife raised an eyebrow. “Another crack like that and you'll be riding the sofa tonight, smart guy,” she teased. “Kids, get the lead out! I'd like to be there before dark!”
Matthew bounded down the stairs, Hannah and Robert hot on his heels, and grinned at his mother. “We have plenty of time, Mama,” he said. “What's the rush?”
“I have a couple of stops to make,” she responded. “Where's your sister?”
“Still trying to find something to wear,” the boy answered. “I'll get her. Hey, lizard breath, Mama says to hurry up!” he shouted, barging into her room.
Emma turned to stare at her brother. “Get out of my room, creep!” she yelled. “Uncle Marco said not to let Mama and Daddy leave until one o'clock . It's only quarter of now.”
“I know !” whispered Matthew. He glanced around in desperation and spotted a tube of lipstick on the dresser. “Put some of this on, quick!”
“About time,” muttered Louisa when they came back downstairs. She looked at her daughter. “Good choice, sweetie. Nice lipstick, too.”
“You mean, it's okay if I'm wearing it?” questioned Emma.
“I was younger than you when I started wearing makeup,” her mother smiled. “But no dates until you're sixteen.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Helen Stone listened to the raucous laughter coming from the back yard and grinned. “Bert really needed this,” she said to Joanne Desoto. “He's been missing the boys.”
The petite brunette, now in her seventh month of pregnancy, nodded. “They miss him, too,” she answered. “How is Bert, really?”
Mrs. Stone sighed and dropped into a chair. “Some days are better than others, but basically, he's accepted that it's only a matter of time. It's been a little harder for me, though. I guess I'm still hoping for a miracle.”
Joanne patted her friend's hand. “Put your trust in God,” she whispered. “He'll see you through.”
At that moment, Chet poked his head in the front door. “Everybody get ready!” he hollered. “They just pulled up!”
Helen stood up as her husband came inside, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Shall we greet our guests, dear?” he asked. “I can't wait to seethe look on old Hank's face when he finds he's been suckered!”
“My sister is the one you should be worrying about!” chuckled Marco. “She hates being fooled!”
Captain Stone pushed open the door and waved. “Louisa, who's that old fart with you?” he teased. “Oh, sorry, Hank. I didn't recognize you.”
The young woman laughed. “I'm thinking about trading him for a younger model,” she joked. “But on second thought, he's still got some miles left on him. How are you feeling, Bert?”
“Better now that this pretty young lady is here,” he flirted, winking at Emma. “You're the spitting image of your Mama. Make yourselves at home. The rest of the nutcases are out back.”
“I don't smell anything burning, so Chet must not be manning the grill,” chuckled Stanley .
Stone grinned and slapped his fellow Captain on the back. “We couldn't start the ceremonial burning of the hat until you got here, pal.”
“Who's got the marshmallows?” Louisa giggled, ignoring her husband's sour expression. She walked out onto the deck and a chorus of voices rang out. “Happy Anniversary!” they shouted.
“What in the world?” Hank gasped. “I thought this was just a cookout!”
Johnny and Roy stepped forward, their eyes shining brightly. “Technically, it is, but it's also your fifteenth anniversary bash!” Desoto grinned, clearly enjoying Stanley 's reaction.
“Frankly, I'm surprised he's been able to put up with her this long!” snickered Marco.
“Thanks a lot, Fernando ,” snorted Louisa, punching her brother's arm lightly. “I should have know something was afoot. You would all clam up whenever I entered the room. How did you manage to keep this a secret with Loose Lips Kelly around?”
“Gentle persuasion didn't work, so we resorted to vicious threats,” answered McConikee. “I won't go into detail, but hot wax and chest hair were involved.”
The young woman glanced at Chet, her mouth twitching. “Don't worry, Phantom. It'll grow back…..eventually,” she quipped. “Maybe some alfalfa pills will help. I hear they prevent baldness.”
“For your information, Mrs. Cap,” the Irishman huffed, pretending to be insulted, “body hair is a sign of virility. Isn't that correct, Rachel?” he questioned, winking at his wife.
The redhead blushed. “That's right, sweetheart,” she replied, her green eyes sparkling like emeralds. “In a few months, we'll see the proof, too.”
Louisa stared at her friend, a wide smile on her face. “Lord have mercy, the Kelly clan is about to expand,” she teased. “Congratulations, Spunky. I know you'll be a wonderful mother. When is the baby due?”
“The middle of December,” beamed Rachel. “I'm so excited, but the labor part scares me. Does it hurt as much as everyone says?”
“Well, yeah, but the pain gives us the perfect opportunity to cuss out our husbands,” smiled Joanne, making the women laugh.
“Who needs an excuse?” cracked Helen. “Nothing keeps a man in line like a good, sound tongue lashing.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
After everyone had eaten their fill, Captain Stone led them into the house, announcing that he had a special surprise for his guests. “In honor of Hank and Louisa's fifteen years of wedded bliss, I've put together a little slideshow. Pat, will you get the lights?”
The room darkened and an image of a dark-haired woman holding a baby flashed onto the screen. “Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Henry Eugene Stanley in his first public appearance. Now we know why his parents didn't have any more kids.”
The picture changed, showing a gap-toothed boy clad in a dirty football uniform. “Here's Captain Stanley at eleven years of age. Nice shiner, pal.”
“Remind you of anything, little sister?” chuckled Marco, nudging her with his elbow.
“Yeah, the black eye I got fighting with Manuela Santiago,” she answered. “Almost spoiled my good looks.”
Captain Stone moved on to another photograph. “Hank's high school graduation picture,” he said. “He was valedictorian, if I have my facts right. His folks look so proud.”
Hank cleared his throat and brushed away a tear. “I wish you could have met them, honey,” he whispered huskily.
“So do I,” Louisa smiled, squeezing his hand.. “I'll bet they had some good dirt on you.”
“I was a perfect angel,” the Captain replied.
“Right, and I'm the Pope,” giggled his wife.
“You're not pious enough for that job, kiddo,” joked Maria. “But I love you anyway.”
The next picture showed Captain Stanley standing over a small fire. Chief McConikee burst out laughing, tears streaming down his face. “Believe it or not, but that pile of ashes used to be my dress hat!” he howled. “Where did you get this one, Stoney?”
“From Dave Wilcox,” he grinned. “I'm going to sell the negatives and donate the money to Hank's retirement fund!”
“I'll give you fifty bucks!” shouted Chet.
Louisa rolled her eyes. “Cheapskate; I'll give you a hundred, Bert!”
“Save your cash. You'll need it for the pictures I got from your mother!” Stone teased. “Speaking of which, check this out!”
The young woman gasped. “That's my Dad!” she exclaimed. “I mean, my birth father, Sam Weber. This must have been taken right after I was born!”
“It was, querida ,” confirmed Maria. “Katherine Sutton sent it to me right after Armando and I adopted you. Of course, we had no idea she was your aunt back then.”
“It never occurred to me before, but Robert is the spitting image of Sam, right down to the cleft chin,” Louisa murmured, caressing her son's cheek. “Amazing.”
“When was the last time you heard from him?” asked Dixie .
“About a year ago, wasn't it, honey?. Right after he moved to Hanover , Pennsylvania ? We really should go visit him.”
“Hey, Stoney, where are the pictures I took of their wedding?” called Johnny.
“Hold your horses, Gage. They're right here. Nice chariot, Mrs. Stanley! How come you look terrified?”
The young woman grinned. “Because I was!” she laughed. “Stoker drives like Richard Petty!”
“This one has to be my personal favorite,” chuckled Roy , pointing to the screen. “I've never seen you look better, Kelly.”
“But you can't even see my face!” said Chet. “It's covered in frosting.”
“My point exactly,” snickered Desoto.
More images flashed across the screen, finally ending with a recent photograph of Hank and Louisa standing on their back deck, smiling at each other. “I'd say they're still head-over-heels in love,” commented McConikee. “Am I right?”
“If we weren't, none of us would be here, Pat,” Louisa answered. “To paraphrase the Grateful Dead, what a long, strange trip it's been!”
“And speaking of trips, we have a little something for you,” said Marco, handing his sister an large, gift-wrapped box. “Happy anniversary, you two.”
The young woman tore off the paper and removed the lid. “What the heck is this?” she wondered, holding up an old-fashioned ball gown. “A circus tent masquerading as a dress?”
“Not quite,” answered Johnny. “Check out the card.”
“ You are cordially invited to attend the Antebellum Ball at the James Gettys Hotel in historic downtown Gettysburg , Pennsylvania , July 4 th at 7:00 p.m. Please call 717-337-1334 by June 1 st to RSVP,” she read, her eyes widening. “I've always dreamed about going, but it's virtually impossible to get an invitation. How did you pull it off?”
“My med school roommate, Ted Vattimo, teaches at the college,” said Dr. Brackett. “We talked recently and he mentioned the ball. I mentioned that you were a Civil War buff and since his wife doesn't want to go, he mailed me their invitations.”
“Remind me to send him a nice fruit basket,” smiled Louisa. “Scratch that, I'll send him the whole tree !”
“Why not thank him in person?” questioned Roy with a smile. “You'll be there for three and a half weeks.”
“Hank and I can't take that much time off,” the young woman protested. “Besides, there's no way we could afford it with four kids. The hotel alone would cost a small fortune!”
“That's been taken care of,” interrupted McConikee. “You'll need money for gas, meals, and entrance fees, but everything else is covered, including the plane fare and a rental car. As for your children, they will be staying with Mrs. Lopez until you get home.”
“But Headquarters will never let me take a month's vacation!” exclaimed Stanley .
“Sure they will,” answered the Chief. “Houts signed the paperwork three days ago.”
“Steve Jacobs asked me to give you a message, Louisa,” chuckled Kel. “He said, and I quote: have a good time, stay out of trouble, and bring me back a t-shirt.”
The young woman's face lit up and she grinned. “In that case, when do we leave?”