The procession was a long one. In the front was a fire engine, lights flashing, but siren silent.
In the hose bed of the engine sat a coffin, draped in the American flag. The engine moved slowly, as if the weight of the coffin was too much for it to bear. The engine was followed by a long black limousine, carrying the widow and son of the man who lay in the coffin.
He'd been a young man. A firefighter with just 3 years on the job. And he'd died saving his fellow firefighters.
Police officers on motorcycles led the procession through the traffic. Citizens stopped their cars and watched the long trail of fire department vehicles and personal cars pass by them. There were so many mourners that it took the procession almost an hour to crawl by. Some of those watching exited their cars and bowed their heads, others crossed themselves in prayer. Men removed their hats, while mothers answered questions about the sight from curious children. It was quiet, eerily quiet, out of respect for the fallen hero.
As the engine pulled up to the cemetery and the burden was lifted from the rear, the bagpipes began to play. The mournful melody blew across the rolling hills, propelled by the soft breeze. Six men in full dress uniform, wearing while gloves, carried their comrade to his final home. A sea of uniforms flowed out from the gravesite, each wearing a black band around the arm.
They were there to bury one of their own.
****
Roy DeSoto and John Gage were on the deck in Roy's backyard, Johnny sitting on the railing, Roy standing next to him, leaning against the top rail. Other members of their crew were there as well. Marco and Chet were sitting at the picnic table, talking to Mike Stoker. Stanley was talking with his wife and Chief McConikee.
Johnny took a sip of his beer, dangling the bottle between two fingers.
"Man, I hate funerals," he stated. "I've hated them since I was a kid."
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Roy agreed, quietly. "Something like this really makes you think. Eric was younger than all of us. And we were just in the next room when that ceiling came down on top of him. We're lucky the whole roof didn't cave in. That could have been any one of us."
Roy felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see his captain standing behind him.
"If you dwell on that, Roy, it'll eat you up."
"Yeah, Cap, I know. But it's hard not to think about it when you come that close."
Roy glanced over and saw his wife, Joanne, talking to Beth Stoker and Linda Stanley, both firefighter wives, like herself. He thought back on the widow of the dead firefighter they'd buried that day.
Johnny looked over at his partner. "Roy, we've come close a lot in the past. It's the nature of the job. As long as we're careful, we'll be okay. You and I will probably die of old age, still rescuing people when we're ninety."
"I don't know about you, Junior, but I plan to retire long before I hit 90!" He looked again at his wife. "I just wonder how Joanne would cope if I ever got killed on duty. It's hard on the wives, ya know?"
"Roy, it wouldn't matter how you died," Johnny pointed out, "it would still be tough on her. But she's a strong lady. She's been worrying about you for a lot of years. And the fire department has a lot of support set up for spouses."
"Yeah, I know that Johnny, but it would still be hard on her."
"Yes, it would. But I would be there to help, so would the Cap, and the rest of the guys. And she has a really close family, too. It would be hard on her, but she'd get through it, Roy," Johnny assured him. "I'm just glad I'm not married. I wouldn't want anybody to have to go through that on my account."
"Ah, but Junior, it's nice to have someone worry about you so much, to care if you make it home at night."
"Oh, my folks worry about me, that's enough right now. At this point in my life, I don't think I'm ready for someone to sit at home and wonder if I'll live through my shift at work. When I die, just send my remains home to my folks, so my ashes can drift on the winds in the mountains."
"That's very poetic, Johnny," Roy remarked. "But don't plan on that any time soon. I'm not ready to break in a new partner yet. Besides, I plan to have you give the toast at my retirement party."
"What retirement party?" asked Joanne, joining them and sliding her arm around Roy's waist.
Roy laid his arm across her shoulder before answering her. "Mine, when I turn ninety!"
"I hate to tell you this, Roy DeSoto," Joanne informed him, "but I don't plan on waiting around until you're 90, for you to retire. Fifty-five, buster, and that's it!"
"Yes, dear."
"Food will be out in about 10 minutes," she told the trio.
"Thanks, honey," Roy said, catching a fleeting sadness in Joanne's eyes.
"You okay, Joanne?" he asked.
"Yes, I'm fine. It's just that I always look forward to seeing your whole crew together. I just wish this was a happier occasion."
"We all do, Joanne," Stanley assured her. "This kind of thing is never easy. I know it's particularly hard on you wives. I appreciate you allowing us into your home today. I would have done this at my place but with the remodeling, we would have been tripping over piles of bricks and lumber."
"Not a problem, Hank, but I want to be sure that the next get-together is a happy one. Somebody's birthday or something."
"I like to get presents, Joanne, you could have a party for me," Johnny hinted.
"You just had your birthday, Johnny. One of those a year is all I can handle. But we'll think of something. Now, why don't you all come help bring the food out."
******
Later that night, after the others had gone home, Roy walked out back to put the trash out. As he turned back to the house, he noticed Joanne curled up on the bench, quietly crying.
"Joanne? Are you okay, honey?" he asked, sitting next to her and putting his arm around her.
"I'm fine, Roy," she told him, wiping her eyes.
"Then why are you crying?"
"I just keep thinking about Angela Travis. How is she going to cope with this, Roy? She's so young, and their son isn't even a year old yet."
"Honey, the fire department will help her. So will the guys at Eric's station. She's family to them, they won't let her go through this alone."
"I know that, sweetheart, but there's only so much that others can do for you. I..."
"You're wondering how you would cope if it were me?" Roy ventured.
Joanne looked at him, moving from the comfort of his arm, and turning to face him.
"I'm sorry, Roy, I don't mean to make this day harder for you. But it does scare me. Everytime I hear about a fireman being killed or injured, it makes me think about the kids and how we'd get by without you. It frightens me more than I care to admit."
"I don't know what to tell you, Joanne. We've talked about this before. You know that I would never deliberately put myself in danger or take foolish chances on the job. I take every precaution I can and use all the equipment I have available to me."
"I know, Roy. I know you do everything you can to be sure to come back to us after your shift. And usually it doesn't bother me so much. I guess it's just at times like this, the feelings kind of bubble to the surface and it's hard to fight my fears. I see that coffin going down the road on top of the engine, and it tears my heart out, thinking someday that might be you."
"I love you, Joanne. And I promise I will always do everything in my power to come home to you, and Chris and Jennifer."
Joanne reached up a hand and touched his face, smiling affectionately. "Well, then, Roy DeSoto, that's good enough for me. You've done a good job so far, so I guess I'll just have to trust you to continue. And trust in that motley crew you work with, that they'll watch out for you too." She gave him a light kiss and settled back into his arms. They sat there for a long time, watching the stars.
******
Two days later, Roy and Johnny were back on duty, headed over to Rampart to re-supply. It was their first day back since the funeral of Eric Travis, and the stationhouse had been unusually quiet. It was normally that way after the death of one of their own. Each man got to thinking about his own mortality. But they would bounce back..they always did. Leaning on and supporting each other, they would get past it. And judging by past occurences, it would probably be Johnny Gage and Chet Kelly who would lead them out of the doldrums.
But Johnny had been subdued all morning, not talking much, not responding to Chet trying to make a joke at his expense. As they drove to the hospital, he was still quiet, staring out the window. Roy knew that Gage had gone hiking in the mountains the day after the funeral. Usually that would bring him out of any bad mood he was in, but this time it hadn't seemed to work. And that worried his partner.
"Hey, Junior, are you okay?" Roy asking, glancing across the seat at the younger paramedic. When Gage didn't answer him, he reached out and tapped him on the arm. "Johnny, are listening to me?" he tried again.
Gage jerked his head around when he realized that Roy was talking to him.
"What?" he asked in confusion.
"Are you alright? You've been zoned out all morning. What are you thinking about?"
Johnny looked away, slightly embarrased by the fact that he hadn't been paying attention to what was going on around him. Not a good thing for somebody entrusted with people's lives, he thought.
"Sorry, Roy," he said, somewhat sheepishly. "I didn't hear what you said."
"I kinda got that impression," Roy joked. "No reason to be sorry though. You looked a million miles away. Anything you want to talk about?"
"No, I was just thinking about the funeral. I didn't know Eric all that well, you know. I worked with him a few times, knew him enough to say hi, like that."
"Same here, so what's the problem?"
"Nothing Roy, it's just that...." Johnny glanced at his partner, then back out the window. "Nothing, never mind, it's not important."
"C'mon, partner. It's important enough to still be bothering you two days later. What is it?"
Gage looked back at Roy, a question on his mind, but not quite sure if he should ask it.
"I just..well...I was wondering....tell me if I'm getting too personal, okay, but I'm curious. You and Joanne have been married, what 10,11 years?
"Eleven years, yeah, why?"
"What do you say to her when something like this happens? How do you deal with it?"
Roy was quiet for a long moment, turning his gaze back out to the road in front of him.
Thinking he'd overstepped his bounds, Johnny apologized. "I'm sorry, Roy, I shouldn't have asked that. It's a personal thing. Sorry."
"No, Johnny, it's okay. It's just that Joanne and I did talk after you guys left the other night. I found her sitting outside on the deck, crying."
"Crying? Oh, man, that must have been tough on you."
Nodding, Roy said, "I know she gets scared when she hears news reports about someone being injured or killed in a fire. We've talked about it a few times in the past. She worries about how she'll get by. I worry about it too, ya know. I wonder if she'll be able to survive on what my pension and insurance will give her. It's not something either of us likes to dwell on. But when one of us has doubts, we sit down and discuss it. I try to be honest with her about the dangers and she tries to be up front with me about her fears."
"I don't think I could handle that, having somebody worrying about me all the time. You and Joanne love each other so much...she'd be devastated if something happened to you. I don't think that I would want to be the cause of that kind of pain."
"If you love somebody enough Johnny, you have to put up with the pain, too. It goes with the package. And it's worth it. If something, god forbid, happened to Joanne or one of the kids...I don't know what I'd do. But I wouldn't give up what I have with them for anything in the world. That's what being part of a family is all about."
"Yeah, I wonder about what it would be like to lose somebody that was that close to me. When my grandmother died last year, I think that was the worst, but she'd been sick so long, it wasn't like it was a shock, you know. I can't imagine being so close to somebody that you'd just fall apart if they died unexpectedly. Or that someone else would react that way if I died."
"Someday, Junior. Someday you'll understand what it's like."
******
Over the next several weeks, things got back to normal at the station. Johnny and Chet started getting on each others nerves again...and on the Captain's nerves. And Gage started flirting with the new nurse, much to the chagrin of Dixie McCall, who should have been used to it by now.
Things were back to normal in the DeSoto household too. The kids were fighting over the new video game and Joanne continue to add to the list of household chores she always had ready for Roy on his days off.
And there was no more talk of funerals and death.
******
He was working in the yard when he heard the doorbell. Removing his gloves and brushing the dirt from the knees of his jeans, he walked inside and through the house. He opened the door to find Captain Stanley standing there, a look of utter anguish on his face. He looked about ready to collapse and appeared to have been crying.
"Cap, are you okay?" he asked. "Cap?"
Stanley looked him in the eye and shook his head. "I've got some bad news..."
"C'mon out back, we can sit and you can tell me what's going on."
Stanley followed him outside and dropped into one of the chairs.
"Okay, Cap, now what's going on? Is your family okay?"
"My family?" Stanley asked, looking up in confusion. "Oh....yeah, Linda and the kids are fine. It's not them."
"Then what, Cap?" he was getting concerned.
"It's Johnny..."
"Johnny?" Roy asked, his stomach lurching. "What's happened to Johnny, Cap?'
Stanley stared at the ground, leaning forward in the chair, clutching his hands together.
"Cap, tell me what happened. Is Johnny hurt?" Roy asked quietly, geting no response. "Hank, tell me!"
"I got a call from headquarters a couple of hours ago." Stanley closed his eyes and shook his head. "The Highway Patrol called them this morning. Johnny was in an accident."
Roy remained still, waiting for Stanley to continue. But the Captain turned away and went back to staring at the ground.
"Roy.." Stanley took a deep breath, "The accident...Johnny's car went over a cliff on the Pacific Coast Highway this morning."
"And?" His voice was a whispering as he stared at Stanley, willing him to say that Johnny was okay.
"His car went over a cliff....and exploded on impact..."
"What are you saying, Hank...is Johnny...is he okay?" Please tell me he's gonna be fine. Maybe he's hurt, but he'll pull through.
"He's ...Johnny's....he's....dead.... he never got out of his car." Stanley said, his voice shaking as badly as his hands.
Roy said nothing for several minutes. "No. It's not Johnny. It can't be. I just talked to him night before last. He's fine."
"It's his Land Rover, Roy," Stanley told him, tears now freely falling down his face. "They ran the plates. They called headquarters when they spotted the fire department sticker on the bumper. The Chief called me at home to let me know."
In a daze, Roy stood up and stepped off the deck. He walked over to the shovel leaning against the tree in the yard, and placed a foot on the edge, pushing it into the ground. He began to turn the earth over with the shovel.
"Roy? I'm sorry..." Stanley said, getting up and walking toward Roy.
"Johnny's not dead. He can't be dead. He's coming over for dinner tonight, he promised the kids. He wouldn't break that promise."
"They confirmed it was his car, Roy." Stanley said, his eyes glistening. "I talked to the investigating officer just before I came over here. They found what was left of his wallet, with his badge inside. And they recovered his watch.
Roy just shook his head and continued to shovel the dirt. "No, it's not Johnny. He wouldn't do that to my kids. He promised he'd be here and he will be."
Stanley walked over to his friend and put his hand on the shovel. Roy jerked away from him, grabbing the tool away. "No, you're wrong. Johnny can't be dead." He backed away from Stanley until he bumped up against the tree. "He can't be....." Roy looked around, frantic, looking for an escape from this nightmare. He looked back at his Captain. "I want to see him. I want see with my own eyes that it's him."
"Roy, they can't make a positive ID on the body because it was burned too badly. I've already been on the phone to Dr. Brackett. He's going to forward Johnny's medical & dental records up to the medical examiner's office, so that they can make a positive identification."
"So, it might not be him. They don't know yet," Roy insisted.
"Roy, they're pretty sure," Stanley said, as he walked toward DeSoto.
Roy yelled, "NOOO! Damn it! He's not dead!" He spun around then and swung the shovel, slamming it against the tree, once....twice...three times...."He's not dead!....he's not dead!...he's not dead..!" The handle shattered, sending the metal blade flying across the yard.
He was panting from the exertion and fear. He stared at the broken handle still in his hand, then up at Hank Stanley, finally throwing the shattered wood to the ground at this feet.
"Please tell me it's not true. It's not Johnny. Tell me it's not Johnny!" he pleaded, grabbing Stanley by the shirt. "Tell me it's not him!"
"God, Roy, I'd give anything to be able to tell you that!" Stanley cried. "But I can't!"
Roy pushed him away, angrily, almost causing him to lose his balance.
Joanne was watching this from the kitchen, where she'd just come in from grocery shopping. When she saw Roy grab Stanley and then shove him away, she couldn't imagine what had happened to make him so upset.
She headed outside to try to calm him down. Roy wasn't a violent man. She had never seen him react that way to a friend. Something must be terribly wrong. As she got closer, she saw that Roy was leaning against the tree, and saw the shattered shovel on the ground. Neither man seemed aware that she was there.
She was about to make a comment when she noticed the look on Stanley's face. Tears were flowing down his face and he looked like he'd age ten years. My God! she thought, what is going on here?
As she got closer to Roy, she realized that he was crying. She watched him slowly sink to the ground next to the tree.
Fear gripped her then. "Roy, what's wrong? What happened? Roy, are the kids okay?!" she begged him to tell her. "Please, Roy, tell me!" Joanne kneeled down in front of him.
He looked up at her, but could only nod.
"The kids are fine, Joanne," Stanley assured her.
"Then what's going on? I've never seen him like this before."
Roy reached out and pulled her to him, hugging her so tightly that she lost her breath.
Stanley walked over and crouched down next to the couple. Placing a hand on Roy's shoulder, he closed his eyes again. "Roy, I have to leave. I've got to go tell the others. I'll come by later and see how you're doing." He turned to Joanne and simply told her to "..take care of him, Joanne. He's going to need you to be strong. I'll be back later. But I have to let everyone else know."
Still unsure about what had so deeply upset her husband, Joanne could only nod, as she watched Stanley walk away. After several minutes, she pulled back from Roy, and took his face between both her hands.
"Roy, talk to me. Tell me what Hank said that caused you to react like this," she pleaded, concerned etched on her face.
His eyes were closed, shut tight against the pain. She wiped away a tear with her thumb. He opened his eyes and looked into her eyes. "Joanne....Joanne..."
"Honey, what is it? Are you sure the kids are okay?" She couldn't image anything execpt one of the kids being hurt, that would cause this kind of reaction.
"Kids are fine....not the kids....Johnny," he was having a hard time catching his breath. "Johnny....Johnny is...." he tried again, his voice cracking.
Her heart in her throat, she asked, "Johnny is 'what' Roy? Please, tell me."
Quietly, whispering, he told her.
*******
They were still sitting on the grass thirty minutes later. "I can't believe it, Joanne. How could he be dead?"
"Is Hank sure it was Johnny's car?" she asked.
"Yeah, they checked the plates, and saw the department sticker on the back."
"Did Johnny maybe lend the car to somebody?"
"Joanne, you know how he is with that car," he said, his voice cracking again. He cleared his throat and continued. "Nobody was ever allowed to drive it but him. He only let me drive it a couple of times."
"So, there's no chance it might have been someone else?"
"I don't see how. My God, Joanne, I can't believe this! Just before the Cap came over, I was back here doing some of the planting, thinking that if I didn't finish it this morning, I could always get Johnny to help me before dinner tonight."
"Dinner? Oh, Roy, he's was supposed to come over tonight. I completely forgot. Roy.....what do we tell the kids? This is gonna be awful for them."
"It's gonna be awful for a lot of people, honey. There's not gonna be an easy way to tell Chris and Jennifer. No matter what we say, they're going to get hurt. You know...when I think back to all the times he got injured on the job...when he got hit by that car, and the time that snake bit him...we almost lost him a couple of times. But this...it seems so stupid..Johnny's a careful driver. How could he have lost control and gone over the cliff?" He shook his head in disbelief and shock.
"It was raining this morning, Roy, maybe he just ...I don't know...it was an accident..."
"Damn, Joanne, I can't imagine going into work and not seeing him there. Never being able to work with him again. I don't even want to think what that's going to be like. We've been partners for so long...."
He leaned back against the tree, staring at the sky. Finally he pushed himself up off the ground, shaking his head, then reached down and helped his wife up from the ground. Keeping hold of her hand, he quickly walked into the house and headed for the phone.
As he began dialing a number, Joanne watched him, concerned. "Roy, what are you doing?"
"Calling his house. Maybe..I don't know, maybe he did lend his car to someone."
After several moments, he began tapping his finger on the counter. "C'mon, Johnny, pick up the phone." Twenty rings later, he slammed it back on the base. Then picked it back up again, and dialed a second time. "Maybe I misdialed," he mumbled to himself. "Why isn't the answering machine picking up?" Not getting an answer again, he pulled out an address book from the drawer and started dialing everybody he could think of who knew Johnny and might know where he was. He wasn't ready to write him off.
He wasn't ready to think he was dead.
*******
An hour later, he threw the book across the room, following by the telephone. No one had seen Johnny in two days. Not since he'd gotten off duty after their last shift. Joanne was sitting on the living room sofa, where she's been since they came back in the house. She watched Roy get more and more frustrated, as his hopes of finding out that Johnny was still alive began to diminish. She had been steadily crying for most of that hour, out of the sense of loss, and the fear of her husband's refusal to accept Johnny's death.
She got up when the doorbell rang, hoping she could get rid of whoever it was quickly.
As she opened the door, she saw Chet Kelly and Marco Lopez standing there, each with a look of utter disbelief on their faces.
"Joanne, is Roy here?" asked Marco. "Cap said he came by earlier to talk to him."
"He's here Marco, but he's not dealing with this very well. Neither of us are." She opened the door wide to let them in, hugging them both. Chet refused to look at her, just stared at the floor. "Chet, it's gonna be okay. We'll get through this. I'm glad you both came by. Roy's gonna need his friends right now."
"The only friend he really needs is Johnny," Chet remarked quietly.
As they walked into the living room together, Roy was still on the phone, calling his partner's house over and over again. When he looked up and saw his co-workers standing there, he became furious.
"What are you two doing here?" he asked.
"Roy, they came over to see if they could help."
"They can help by finding out where that partner of mine is."
Marco and Chet exchanged concerned glances with Joanne. "Roy, Cap told us that Johnny was..." Marco began.
"Dead, yeah I know. He told me the same thing. But I don't believe it. He can't be dead, Marco. He's supposed to be here for dinner tonight and he will be, you wait and see."
Roy spun around and walked back out the door and started pacing around in the back yard.
"Joanne..."
"It'll be alright, Marco. He's just not ready to accept it yet. I'm not sure I am either."
*******
Mike Stoker and his wife, Beth showed up about 30 minutes later. Not too long after that Captain Stanley returned. He had planned to go by Station 51 and notify the on-duty shift about the accident, but after talking with Chief McConikee again, they had decided to wait until the Medical Examiners report was complete. The ME had promised McConikee that he would do the autopsy that night, as soon as he received Johnny's records from Brackett.
And then it would be up to the Chief to notify Johnny's folks. That was one task that Stanley did not want to do, and was glad when the Chief had told him that he would take care of it. Stanley figured he would call them later, after they'd had time to take in the news.
The DeSoto children had gotten home from school by then, but Joanne had asked them to stay in the house and play. Chris, their 10-year old son, had realized something was wrong, but also knew that this was something his mom didn't want to explain just now. He had seen Chet and Marco crying, and noticed his father walking around the yard. It must be pretty serious, he thought. Maybe if would be best if we just stayed in our rooms.
When the doorbell rang, Chris went to answer it, since it didn't look like his mom or dad had heard it.
"Hi, Chris," said Dr. Brackett. "Are your mom and dad here?"
"In the backyard," Chris said, pointing the way. Dixie McCall, who looked like she'd been crying, and Dr Joe Early, followed Kel Brackett in, and they all headed to the deck. Boy, this must really be something big, thought Chris, closing the door and heading back to his room.
When their 6-year daughter, Jennifer, had asked when "Uncle" Johnny was going to be there, Joanne had just told her and Chris that it didn't look like Johnny was going to be able to make it to dinner that night after all. Jennifer had been disappointed and had gone to her room to sulk. Chris wondered if what was going on had to do with Uncle Johnny.
******
A little after 5 o'clock that night, the adults were all still on the deck, talking. Roy had finally pulled himself together and had joined the others. He was sitting in a deck chair, holding a beer, which he had yet to take a sip of, talking to Brackett and Early. Chet was standing over in one corner, with Marco and Stoker, shaking his head. He just kept repeating that he couldn't believe this had happened. Dixie and Joanne were quietly talking at the picnic table, each wondering how Roy was going to get through the next few days.
Chris came out onto the deck and approached his mother. "Mom, Jennifer and I are getting hungry. When's dinner gonna be?" Joanne looked at her watch, not realizing until then how late it had become.
"I'm sorry, Chris, I didn't notice what time it was. I don't have anything ready." She got up and put an arm around her son, leading him back inside. "Tell you what, how about if I order out for pizza?"
"Okay, mom," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Mom...." he began, looking first at his mother, than at the others gathered outside. "Mom, what's going on? How come everybody's so sad?"
Joanne sat down on a chair, and pulled her son closer to her. "I can't really go into it right now, Chris, but I promise, your dad and I will tell you everything later. Now why don't you go check with your sister and see what she wants on her pizza, okay?"
"Sure, Mom," he told her, heading off to find Jennifer.
*****
After they'd finished their pizza, Chris decided to play a video game, while Jennifer sat on the bench seat in front of the bay window playing with her newest dolls. As she enacted a story using the dolls, she noticed a car pull up in front of the house, and noticed a man get out of the car and walk toward the house, waving at the driver.
As he he walked up the stone walkway leading to the house, Jennifer's face lit up with a huge grin. She forgot all about her dolls and raced to open the front door.
"Uncle Johnny!" she squealed, jumping up into his arms.
"Jenny, how's my favorite girl?" he asked, hugging her to him.
"I'm fine, Uncle Johnny. But Mommy told us you weren't coming tonight. We already ate. We had pizza.!"
"Pizza! Did you save any for me?"
"Nope, Chris ate it all."
"I did not," Chris called from the living room sofa, where he was losing the latest battle on his video game.
"Did too," Jennifer countered.
"Where's your folks?" Johnny asked, interrupting the sibling squabble.
"Out back with everybody else," Chris said. "I think everybody from the station is here. Even those two doctors and Nurse Dixie."
"Yeah, I saw all the cars out front. What's going on?"
Chris just shrugged. "Nobody will tell me. But a bunch of 'em were crying, so it must be pretty bad," he said, as he put away the video equipment.
Curious, Johnny started to head out to the deck only to be told by Jennifer that first he just had to meet her new doll. As she dragged him over to the window seat, Chris went outside.
"Mom, can I have a soda?" he asked, walking up to his parents, sitting together on the deck.
Checking the time, Joanne told him yes. "But only half a can, Chris. And share it with your sister."
"Okay. Oh, Dad, Uncle Johnny's here."
All conversation stopped. Roy grabbed Chris' arm and turned Chris to face him. "What did you say?!" he asked, incredulous.
"I said, Uncle Johnny's here," Chris repeated.
"Johnny?!" Roy jumped up from his seat and raced into the living room, the others right on his heels...At first he didn't see anyone. Then he heard someone laugh, and noticed Jennifer sitting on the window seat, talking to someone who was hidden behind the sofa. As Roy walked around the end of the sofa, he saw his partner, sitting on the floor, laughing as he watched Jennifer play with her dolls.
"Johnny!"
Gage looked up and pushed himself off the floor, only to be grabbed by Roy and pulled into a bear hug so tight it threatened to crack ribs.
"Damn, Roy. Didn't realize you missed me so much!" Johnny teased. The others gathered around, all talking at once.
Johnny was finally able to pull himself from Roy's grasp, only to be hugged equally tight by Joanne, then Dixie. Even Chet gave him a hug, with tears in his eyes.
"Man, it sure is good to see you, Gage," Kelly told him.
"Ah, guys, what's going on here? You act like you haven't seen me in ages. Not that I mind all the attention, but what's the occasion?"
"We treat everybody this way who returns from the dead, Johnny!" Roy exclaimed.
"Returns from......the what?" Johnny glanced around, confused.
"You were reported dead this morning, pal," Stanley explained.
"Dead?! Who the hel...." he began, then remembered the kids were in the room. "Who the heck reported me dead?"
"The California Highway Patrol," Stanley told him. "We got a call this morning that your car had gone over a cliff on PCH, exploding on impact. The body inside was identified as you, was carrying your ID, wearing your watch."
"Oh, man, and you guys all thought it was me," he said, more statement, than question.
"It was your car, pal, and we all know you don't let just anybody drive that car."
"I do if they point a gun at me and tell me they want it," he told them.
"What?!" asked Roy.
Johnny nodded. "I was carjacked, as I was leaving the gas station this morning after I filled up my tank for the ride home. I came out of the station and walked back to the car. Some guy comes out from behind the pumps, points a gun at me, and tells me to get in the car. I told him to just take the keys, but he insisted on taking me for a little ride first."
"Is that what happened to your face?" asked Marco, noticing the bruise on Johnny's left cheek just below the eye.
"Yeah, when I didn't get in fast enough he popped me one," Johnny explained, lightly touching the tender spot.
"Did a bad man hurt you, Uncle Johnny,? Jennifer asked, as she climbed up into Johnny's arms from the bench seat.
"Yeah, but I'll be okay, it's just a bruise. It'll go away," he assured her.
"Mommy can kiss it and make it better. She does it all the time with my boo-boos," Jennifer stated.
"Tell you what, sweetheart," Johnny told her, "how about if you kiss it and make it better."
"Okay," she said, as she planted a kiss on his cheek. "Is that better, Uncle Johnny?"
"Much better," he said. "It's already stopped hurting."
"I'm glad."
"Me too," said Roy, watching his partner, still unsure if this was a dream or not. He placed his hand on Johnny's shoulder, praying that his image wouldn't disappear with the touch.
It didn't.
"Well, this calls for a celebration!" declared Joanne. "Let's call that pizza place back again and have them bring a few more over. We're having a party!"
"I'm all for the celebration," Johnny told her. "But you know, Joanne, I really had my heart...and my tastebuds...set on your spagetti."
"Well, then, spagetti it'll be," she said, giving him a huge smile. "Why don't you go grab a beer and I'll get it started." Dixie and Beth followed her into the kitchen, anxious help get this party going. The others settled in on the deck.
She began to pull pots from her cupboard, as the others took the ingredients from the pantry. Fifteen minutes later, the water was boiling for the noodles and the sauce was simmering.
Joanne walked back over to the window and looked outside, for only the fifth or sixth time, wanting to be sure that Johnny was still there, that it hadn't been her imagination. Well Johnny, she thought, it looks like this get-together is for you after all. I said I wanted the next one to be a happier one. It sure didn't start out that way. But it'll be a much happier gathering now. As she turned back to the kitchen, she caught Dixie and Beth staring at her, bemused expressions on their faces.
"So sue me," she told them, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm just so glad he's okay!"
"You'll get no argument from me on that one, Joanne," Dixie told her. "It just wouldn't be the same around here without him."
******
Johnny was explaining what happened after he was forced into his car. The thief had made him drive back up into the hills.
"I was sure that he was just taking me up there to kill me. I couldn't see any other reason why he didn't just leave me and take the car."
"Maybe he just didn't want you close enough to a phone that you could call the cops right away."
"Maybe. But I wasn't about to depend on his generosity. First chance I got, I jumped from the car. He started to run after me, but I was able to get into the woods. But, man, I tell you, I expected a bullet to hit me between the shoulder blades any second."
He stopped and drained his beer. "It took me two hours to walk back into town and call the police. They took me to the hospital to get x-rays, to make sure nothing was broken and then back to the cop shop to fill out a report."
"How'd you get back to town?" Stoker asked.
"Turns out, one of the cops up there is the brother of an LA county firefighter. He was heading down this way after his shift to visit his brother's family and offered me a ride."
"Why didn't you just call me?" Roy asked. "You know I would have come and picked you up?"
"I tried calling you for over an hour, Roy, but your line was constantly busy."
"That's because Roy was on the phone trying to find you," Joanne informed him as she walked onto the deck and sat down next to her husband. "He was absolutely positive that it couldn't have been you in that car."
"And I was right, too," he reminded her, with a smile.
"Yes, you were. And I am very glad about that," she said, smiling affectionately at Johnny and reaching over to squeeze his arm.
"I'm sorry you guys were put through that. I can't begin to imagine what you were going through."
"It was horrible, Johnny," Roy told him. "Remember...remember the other day when we were talking about how people close to us would react if something happened to either of us. Well, I found out today how I'd feel if you died. I didn't like that feeling one bit."
"It's nice to know that I have such good friends to grieve for me," he said. Then he turned to look at Kelly. "I understand Chet even shed a few tears."
Kelly scoffed at that idea. "I wasn't crying for you, Gage. I was crying for myself. I kept remembering that you still owed me 3 shifts worth of doing dishes. With you dead, I knew that Cap would make me do them."
"And just for that remark, Chet, I think I'll make you do them anyway," Stanley decided.
"AW, Cap!" Chet whined, to everyone's amusement.
"Don't sweat it, Chet, I'll help ya," Johnny assured him. "It's the least I can do, since you were so concerned for me." Gage looked around at this circle of friends, and realized how lucky he was to be loved by so many people. And lucky that he hadn't been in the car that morning.
He smiled at something he was thinking, prompting Roy to ask what was so funny.
"Oh, I was just thinking about our conversation the day of Eric's funeral. I told you that when I died, you could just send my remains back home and let my folks toss my ashes in the wind. It looks like the only thing in ashes right now is my car."
"Oh, my God!" Stanley cried out, jumping from his seat.
"Cap, what is it? What's wrong?" Roy asked.
"I have to call the Chief...make sure he hasn't called Johnny's folks yet!" he explained as he ran for the phone.
"My folks? Do they think I'm dead, too?" Johnny asked, a bit concerned about what that might do to his parents.
Roy explained what had happened that morning. "Let's hope that the Chief hasn't called them yet. He was waiting for the ME's report before he made the call. They wanted to be sure it was really you before they called your parents with this kind of news."
Johnny joined Stanley in the living room.
"....yes, Chief, he's standing right here in front of me! Apparently, he was carjacked. The person who died in the wreck must have been the car thief.......right, Chief , I'll tell him. Thanks."
Stanley hung up the phone and let out a deep sigh. "The Chief says to tell you he's glad that your okay, but sorry you had to go through what you did. He had just gotten the ME's report, but hasn't had the chance to read it, so he hasn't call your folks, yet."
"Thank the spirit for that!" Johnny exclaimed. "I sure wouldn't have wanted them to go throught what you guys did today. I'm not ready for anyone to toss my ashes to the wind yet."
"What's a spirit, Uncle Johnny?" asked Jennifer, who had wandered over to him while he waited for Stanley to finish his phone call.
"Well, that's what we Indians call our gods," he explained as he pulled her into his arms.
"Oh. Is the spirit in the wind?"
"Yeah, Jen, something like that. It's something special that happens when an Indian dies. He floats into the sky on the wind to join all the other spirits who have died before him."
"Is that like heaven?"
"It is heaven, Jenny. Because it's the most beautiful place there is."
"Are you gonna go there, Uncle Johnny?"
"I can only go there after I die, Jen."
Frowning, she looked up into his face. "Oh. I don't want you to go there then, Uncle Johnny. Not for a long, long time."
"I second that motion," said Roy, walking up beside his partner, placing an arm around his shoulder. "Not for a very long time, partner."
"Spirit In The Wind" ©1999 Pat "Charli" Charleville. "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.
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