Recovery
"Johnny." Dixie's hand was on his shoulder. "Wake up, you're home."
He opened his eyes."We're here already? Man, I hate the first day out of hospital."He slowly swung his legs out of Dixie's car, and looked up as she handed him the crutches. "Who's waiting for me in the apartment?" He sighed.
"Now what makes you think someone's waiting for you?"
"Is it Mary-Lynn? Come on, Dix. You said there was a surprise up there." He stood and leaned on his crutches. "You're not gonna tell me, are you?"
She smiled and locked her lips with her fingers.
"The thing is, I'm not sure I'm up to entertaining anyone. Just leaving the hospital practically put me in a coma. I'm beat!" Johnny hobbled into the hallway from the elevator. "Look, can you at least answer me this? Is it a female?"
Dixie nodded and smiled.
"It's Mary-Lynn?" Being a physical therapist, she'd understand why he was so tired. And Dixie could have let her in to the apartment.
But Dixie shook her head. "The woman waiting for you was in the lobby yesterday when I came to get your clothing. I can assure you it's a beautiful woman with a heart of gold."
"Oh yeah?" Johnny felt more interested and searched his pocket for his key. "Thanks for driving me home Dix. Roy felt bad about not being able to do it. Knowing you could, eased his guilt a bit." He got the door open and hopped inside.
"John Roderick Gage! You're in trouble this time! Just look at you!"
"Aunt Mona!" He shot Dixie a glare, the fastest motion he'd made in two weeks. "I don't believe this, " he mumbled, awkwardly moving towards the couch. "What are you doing here?" He tried to smile and let her know she was welcome, but she really was an unexpected surprise.
"You should have called someone in your family to let them know what happened to you!" Mona Gage was a sweet woman, but overbearing at times. "Your parents asked me to call you because they're away for a few week's vacation. I tried calling here and for five days, no answer! So, I do the only logical thing: call the station, ONLY to find out that you were hit by a car and suffered internal injuries. You or somebody should have let us know."
Dixie approached Johnny with two pillows from his bed. She placed them behind his back. "Now, let's get that leg elevated."
When his feet were on the couch he slid his body so his head rested on the pillows. He placed his arm over his eyes to block the warm sunlight beaming on his face.
*******
"How about a cup of coffee, Mona?" Dixie poured two cups. "I don't think the patient will need anything for awhile."
Mona shook her head. "He looks so tired!"
"Well, it's an ordeal coming home after two weeks of hospital care. He chose to leave in style too. Both he and Roy were released today, so they raced in their wheelchairs. He argued with his nurse about having to ride in the wheelchair, and he had to say good-bye to every nurse that's given him a painkiller since he was injured. He's had a busy morning!"
"I just wish he'd told someone about this."
"Go easy on him, Mona. Someone should have told you, but knowing Johnny he probably didn't want to worry anyone."
"Dixie, I have worried about that man since he was 19 years old."
***********
Johnny woke hearing his aunt place something on the coffee table. "Okay you, wake up. I know you're still recovering and you need your rest, but you've lost too much weight and you've been asleep for four hours. It's time to eat."
He looked at his watch with disbelief. "I've been asleep that long?" Mona adjusted the pillows and he sat up. "Man, I missed Lives and Legacies. Suzanne's husband was just about to catch her with the psychiatrist."
"Don't tell me you're addicted to that soap opera."
"I'M NOT ADDICTED TO ANY SOAP OPERA!" He scowled and crossed his arms. "It's just that I...well, there wasn't a lot to- hey Mona! Did you make your famous pizza?"
"Fresh out of the oven." She smiled and put a slice on a plate. All of your favourite toppings too."
"You are an angel!"
Mona sat in the chair facing him. "I'm sorry for coming on so strong this morning. You deserved a better welcome home than that. But I've just been so worried about you ever since hearing about your accident."
"Yeah, well I wasn't overly gracious when I got home. I really am glad to see you. But you don't need to worry. I'm not nineteen anymore." Johnny could have kicked himself for mentioning that.
Mona got that distant look in her eye. "You were such a troubled young man when you came to live with me 11 years ago. Your Uncle Chuck finally got you out of your slump, and got your mind off Katherine."
Johnny nodded, and smiled slightly at the bittersweet memory. "His advice probably saved my life. But Mona, I'd rather not discuss that. Not now, okay?"
"Someday Johnny, you will have to talk about it. From my visit with your co-workers I can tell that you haven't really gotten over Katherine. All those stories they have about you."
'She was at the station? ' "No one at work knows about Katherine, Mona. I'd like to keep it that way."
"And let them think you've always been this woman-chasing bachelor?" Her familiar glare told him that it was time to face reality. He tried to stare her down, but focused on the pizza instead.
His appetite was gone.
*****
"Roy! Hey, how are ya doin'?" Johnny smiled as he answered the phone.
"Did I wake you up?" Roy asked. "The phone must have rung about ten times."
"No. No, you didn't wake me up. It's just gonna take a bit longer to reach the phone for the next few weeks." Johnny couldn't think of a time when he was happier to hear Roy's voice. "So, you're home and recovering? How's your back?"
"It's feeling good. Joanne and I are dying to know what the surprise was when you got home yesterday."
"Roy, you've gotta help me with this surprise. Would you believe it's my Aunt Mona? She was the surprise."
Roy sounded relieved. "That's great. She'll be helping you out and checking in?"
"She's been nothing but an angel, doing my shopping, helping with meals. But Roy, I need you to come over here and just spend a few hours, or she's gonna put me through a major therapy session." Johnny ran his fingers through his hair.
"Well, you will be needing therapy on your leg, but-"
"It's not that kind of therapy I'm talking about."
"Oh." Roy sounded startled. "Look, I know Joanne and I said we'd be around to help you out, and we will, don't worry. But Cap's given me a few more day's leave, so we're taking the kids to Palm Springs for a couple of days."
"That should be nice." Johnny tried to hide his disappointment. "You're leaving in the morning?"
"Yeah, we're book for two nights. Your aunt's not staying with you, is she?"
"No. She lives in Santa Fe Springs. She's coming back tomorrow to do laundry, and to talk, she says. You're sure you have to leave tomorrow?" Johnny groaned and hung up the phone and went to bed. He was on his own.
******
"Hey Johnny." Drew Burke rode his bike up to the school's entrance where Johnny was smoking a cigarette before class. "You know that chick in class 87, red hair, blue eyes, really cute?"
Johnny nodded.
"She's a friend of Pam's, and she likes you, man. Pam wants the four of us to double date."
"Double date? But I don't know her. I can't ask her out on a date."
"Pam's setting the whole thing up. We're going out for some burgers and then a movie. Meet us at the Soda Stop at six, Friday night."
*******
Drew, Pam and her friend were all waiting for Johnny when he arrived. The Soda Stop was crowded and he figured they'd never get a table, which pleased him. He wasn't as interested in dating unlike some of his classmates.
"Johnny!" Pam greeted him. "They're getting a table ready for us. We have to wait a few minutes."
"Great." Johnny pulled out a cigarette from his pocket. He'd just started smoking in eighth grade, but only did it when he had to wait for something.
"Hi," the girl with the curly red hair spoke.
Johnny finally took a good look at her up close. "Hi." He couldn't think of anything else to say. She was a little taller than he was, but other than that, he liked the way she looked and dressed. "You're my date tonight?" He inhaled his cigarette deeper than he'd taught himself.
"Yeah. Thanks for meeting us here, Johnny."
"Well, what's your name?" She looked like a Gloria.
"Katherine."
"Katherine?" He scowled. The old woman in the house across from the ranch was named Katherine. "Well, can I call you Kathy?" He laughed, and rested the cigarette between his lips.
"Two rules when you're with me, Johnny Gage." She placed her hand on her hip the same way his mother did when he was in trouble. "First, it's Katherine. Katherine Becker. Secondly, I hate guys who smoke." She pulled the burning tabacco from his mouth and broke it in half. Johnny was dumbfounded.
"Burke party of four. Your table is ready," a voice called in the crowd.
"C'mon Katherine." Pam giggled, and they disappeared inside.
Drew walked up to Johnny. "I can't believe she did that, John. Sorry."
"Don't be sorry, Drew." He laughed. "Never be sorry."
Johnny rolled over in bed feeling elated. Katherine was still with him. He opened his eyes and realized he'd only awakened from one of the recurring memories that had haunted him for years. Dawn hadn't come yet. He tried, for what felt like hours, to fall asleep. He turned his bed-side lamp on to check his alarm clock. "Four-thirty, dammit. I'm up for the day now."
****
"So how have you been sleeping since you've been home?" Mona was folding the laundry while the two of them drank coffee in the kitchen.
"Alright." Johnny didn't want to tell her about his dream. Part of him was blaming her for stirring up his old wounds. "You know, Mona, I can fold that stuff. You don't-"
"Oh by the way," she said, reaching into her cloth bag. "I found this in one of your pockets." She passed him a slip of paper. "A new interest?"
"No, not really. Mary-Lynn was my physical therapist in the hospital. She gave me her number. We talked about going out but-" A few days ago he was gung-ho about the idea. Today, he never wanted to see another young female again. "I don't think it's gonna happen."
Mona poured more coffee for him. "What's wrong, love? I haven't seen that look on your face for years. Come on. Out with it."
'BUTT OUT,' Johnny wanted to say. He looked at his aunt gently, and then caught himself looking away. "I had a dream about her last night. I just can't shake it from my mind." He didn't volunteer whom he was referring to, but Mona knew. "It wasn't a present-day dream though. It was one of those where before it's finished, you figure that all the events from then to now were just a dream."
"You've never talked about 'all the events'. Maybe it's time you did." Mona urged him. "Come on, you know I love a good love-story. And I promise I won't say anything about you being too young. You and Katherine connected instantly, I know that. But when did you know she was so special?"
Johnny smiled, remembering.....
"Let's go for a walk, Johnny." Katherine said.
High school was already challenging, but fun, even after two weeks. Johnny had been studying the Photography Club Manual. "A walk? Where?"
Katherine giggled. "Nowhere. Let's just go for a walk."
*
"You can really get to know someone well when you're just out walking. It was just after I'd met her that I started noticing girls on a regular basis. None of them were as interesting as she was.
"Besides Drew and Pam, Katherine and I were the only 'couple' at Eighth grade graduation. The boys were on one side of the gym, and the girls on the other, but we were constantly dancing together. Every dance you could think of.
"By that time I was an inch taller than she was, so I was feeling more relaxed with her. And after working on the ranch all summer, I was even taller, but ganglier. And she still found me interesting." Johnny was still amazed by that.
"But it was that walk to nowhere...it was after that that we were declared an official couple. And we remained that way for years."
"Yes," Mona said, fondly. And I remember the first I met her...at your parents' 20th anniversary party."
"Aunt Mona, Uncle Chuck, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Katherine."
The young woman with a mass of long red curls extended her hand with confidence, and smiled. "I'm pleased to meet you."
She smiled, thinking back."There are some people, Johnny, who you can meet once and never forget them. Katherine was one of those for me. And when she looked at you, you could tell that it wasn't infatuation or puppy love. You really did have something special. It wasn't just me. Your Uncle Chuck thought so too."
"You mean you knew from the first time you saw us together?" Johnny asked. "Then why was everyone else so stunned?"
Johnny and Katherine sat facing his parents, feeling seven years old.
"Explain to your mother and I what that was all about by the riverside?"
"It's probably what you and mom were going to do by the riverside. It's called a kiss goodnight."
"Don't speak to your father that way, John Roderick Gage." His mother's dark eyes no longer held the carefree look they'd had at the party. "You are both too young to be getting so serious about one another. You are both only 15 years old."
"We were kissing goodnight!" Johnny shouted. He held Katherine's hand.
"Katherine, do your parents know how seriously you're taking this?"
"My mother made sure they found out." Johnny laughed and shook his head. "We were instructed by both sets of parents, to go back to being friends."
"Impossible! Believe me, when Uncle Chuck and I were told about that, we knew they were dreaming if they thought that would work."
"We did try to just be friends, but it didn't last long. We were just...crazy for each other." Johnny sighed. "So, we carried on the affair, but had to hide it from our parents."
"But you didn't fool many, John Gage. Especially your Aunt Mona!" She said. "You were just too happy for someone who'd ended a relationship."
"You think my parents knew too?"
"Your parents were busy raising three other children, but yes, I think they had suspicions. And if they didn't, well, they certainly had a wake-up call the day of your big track meet." Mona shook her head....
A student reporter smiled. "I'm standing beside three high school students all here to support the 18 year old rising track star, Johnny Gage." The camera focused on Pam and Drew, who both waved to the television audience, and Katherine. She'd been eagerly waiting for the race to start, but then composed herself when she saw the reporter approach her.
"Now here' Katherine Becker, Johnny's girlfriend. Can you give us an idea, Katherine, what goes through your mind and Johnny's mind on a day like this?"
"On your mark. Get set." The gun sounded. Katherine watched until Johnny started his race.
"Johnny is pretty relaxed today. He's done well and he's happy that he received a track scholarship for Washington State. So today he's running, feeling very calm.
"OH MY GOD, KATHERINE! JOHNNY'S HURT!" Pam yelled. Katherine looked down at the track and immediately disappeared from view....
Later.......
"Hey, you're crying." He stroked the tears from her cheek. She hadn't left his side in the hospital, and she was curled up beside him, her head resting on his chest.
"I can't believe they're showing that part. It's like re-living the moment all over again." She looked at the television again. "Only now, I'm watching the horror on everyone's faces too. You really fell hard."
"Well, I can't believe they're showing this part. Was my head bleeding that much?" They continued to watch the footage of Johnny's "trip and fall" accident. Although he could see that he'd been knocked out cold, he wanted to go home. The doctors wanted him to stay overnight for observation.
There was a slight knock, followed by his parents' arrival. Johnny wondered if seeing Katherine nestled so close would upset them.
"Oh Johnny!" His mother gasped. "Oh my heavens, are you alright?" She ran over to her son, about the same speed the television had shown Katherine running. "Oh Katherine." She hugged her. "Thank you for calling us. Thank you for staying with John."
"And that was it. Katherine was welcome and accepted as my girlfriend."
"But we still worried about you two," Mona reminded him needlessly. "You were both so worried about being apart when college started, instead of just worrying about college and what you'd study."
Johnny laughed to himself. "Yeah. And hanging around Drew and Pam certainly didn't help."
*
"Why'd you pick the Soda Stop to meet us? It's not really a high school pre-college crowd here." Johnny observed Pam and Drew hand in hand and realized he and Katherine were the same way. It was so natural. "Kinda brings back memories, doesn't it?"
They even sat at their old table. The conversation was different from when they were younger; college courses, Johnny's job as a photographer for the local paper, and Drew's plans, or lack of plans for September. "I've applied to be a police officer," was one of his many plans.
"Nothing's for sure yet, except this: next month, Pam and I are getting married."
Katherine and Pam squealed with delight, while Johnny gave the biggest handshake of congratulations a guy could offer.
"Pam and I talked it over, and we'd like you and Katherine to stand up with us."
**
"Now I had never been a big fan of weddings," John shook his head "but Pam and Drew's wedding was so small and intimate. It seemed so incredible. They'd been together since grade school and there they were, officially together forever. It was so simple, you know?"
**
The wedding guests had all gone, and the newlyweds had left for their first night as husband and wife. Johnny and Katherine sat outside on the reception hall's porch, holding one another close.
"Pam was so beautiful. And calm too," Katherine said, sounding surprised. "There was no doubt in her mind about their future."
"I think my parents were relieved tonight." Johnny laughed. Katherine looked at him strangely. "Well, I didn't catch the garter, and you didn't catch the bouquet. But I think we should go ahead and do it anyway."
"Do what?"
"Be the next to get married. It's going to happen someday, and I've been saving up the money for your ring. I've got a couple of nice ones for you to chose from."
"Johnny, I-"
"What do you say? Will you marry me? This summer? Next month? Then we can be together while I'm at school."
"Yes, Johnny. Yes, I'll marry you." Her eyes sparkled, even in the darkness. "But you know what our folks will say? What they've been saying forever."
"That we're too young. But we're both almost 19. We both work. We can both work while I'm at school. We're ready. Let's do it. The end of August."
**
Mona laughed a hearty laugh. "You were as impulsive then as you are now!"
"At the time, I never thought about it, but man, there was a lot to do to get ready for that. We had to do all the wedding prep stuff, and find a place to live, and nail down some jobs. I can't believe we did that all in six weeks." Johnny leaned his head on his hand. "And then that day came when I would, unknowingly...begin my new life. I walked into the hall where the Community Shower was. There had to have been about a hundred women there. Before I could make my presence known, there you were Mona."
**
"Johnny, Katherine is not well. Does she have a flu bug?"
"She's had a cold for the past couple of days. She was alright though when I saw her earlier."
"She's doing her best to hide it, but she may have more than a summer cold. I think you'd be wise to get her to a doctor."
He knew the moment he saw Katherine in the crowd that Mona was right. Her eyes had an uninterested expression as she smiled. She said she was just tired, but it looked like more than needing sleep. He talked with her alone, and she told him that she was coping with a headache and nausea. He'd seen Katherine sick before, but this was very different.
The doctor in town wasn't working that Sunday so he had to take her to the hospital. During their wait, Katherine's nausea and headache worsened. "I'm sorry. You'll have to wait outside," the nurse told Johnny.
"No," Katherine protested. "I want him to stay with me."
"Are you her boyfriend?"
"Fiance." He didn't wait for approval. He followed Katherine into the small examination room and helped her on the table.
It was forever before the doctor came in to see them. By then, Katherine had stopped talking. She and Johnny talked about the list of shower presents she'd been given, but within a few minutes speaking was difficult for her.
Johnny introduced himself to the doctor.
"According to the information here, she's had a cold, and just developed a headache and nausea."
Johnny nodded and turned to her.
"Katherine." The doctor stood on the other side of the table. "How long have you felt sick to your stomach?"
She didn't answer him, as if she didn't hear the question.
"How long have you had the headache, Katherine?"
She still didn't respond. The doctor looked at Johnny.
"I saw her at noon, doctor. She was fine."
"Is there any possibility that she could be pregnant?"
Johnny stumbled for words.
"Mr. Gage, it's very important that I know of any details before I thoroughly examine her. Please relax. It's important that you tell me everything."
"Uh...she could be pregnant. I don't know."
"Okay, Mr. Gage. You'll have to wait outside. We'll run some tests, and I'll be out to talk with you shortly."
Johnny had a million questions, but the doctor summoned a nurse, leaving no opportunity for questions. He bent down and kissed Katherine's forehead. She was holding tightly to his arm. He reluctantly had to pull himself away.
Two hours passed, and Johnny had flipped through every magazine in the waiting room. He thought of calling his and Katherine's parents, but there was nothing to tell them. He knew everyone would be wondering how she was after they'd left the shower so abruptly.
He'd just picked up the phone.
"Mr. Gage, would you come with me, please?"
The doctor wrote in a chart on his desk before speaking. "Sorry to keep you waiting. We've run some tests on Katherine, one of which was a pregnancy test. She's in the very early stages of pregnancy, so early she probably hasn't noticed any symptoms."
"Is that what's making her sick?"
The doctor looked Johnny directly in the eye. "I was concerned about the headache and her inability to answer my questions. Has she had a fever over the past two days?
"She's just had a cold. Does she have a fever now?"
"She does." He wrote in the chart again. "We've run blood tests and I performed a lumbar puncture. Your fiancee has meningitis. We're doing everything we can to help her. Everyone who has come in contact with Katherine since her illness will have to be examined, and treated with an antibiotic."
They wouldn't let him see Katherine. They told him, after he'd been admitted for tests that she had bacterial meningitis, which could be treated. Johnny hoped his mom and dad would know more information.
"Have you seen her?" He asked his mother.
"She's in isolation, dear. Only a select few are allowed in to see her." His mother spoke softly and she looked so concerned. "Katherine's very ill, John. It's a good thing you brought her in when you did. But, you need to concentrate on staying well. They'll know your test results by morning."
"You get some rest, son," his father said, reassuringly.
Sleep had come in short spurts. When he did sleep, it was sound. But most of the night he was awake, wondering about Katherine. When feeling panicked, he thought about the antibiotics treating the infection. And he thought about their future, and the idea that they would be parents in a few months. Most guys his age would be devastated by the news. The idea was overwhelming, but in a positive way.
Katherine would fight that infection for him, but more so for their child. It was that positive thinking that helped Johnny fall asleep.
Later...
After eating his breakfast, a nurse walked in and smiled. "You've been prescribed a shot of antibiotics, and then I understand you're going home." She swabbed his arm with alcohol and jabbed the needle into his arm. "There you go. The doctor will be in to see you shortly."
A few minutes later, the doctor came in. "Mr. Gage, I'd like to see you in about a week to ten days for follow-up. Any signs of illness, however small, you come to see me or your family doctor. If you don't have any questions, then you're free to get dressed and leave with your parents."
"Just a request, doctor. Before I go, can I please see Katherine?"
The doctor was almost out the door, but he stopped and turned around. He walked to the bed and sat by Johnny's feet.
"Your parents wanted to tell you this. Katherine didn't respond to treatment. She became very sick, very fast. She died early this morning.
"She what?"
"She lapsed into a coma last night. She didn't suffer any pain."
"I don't believe you," Johnny said quickly. "You've got to be lying to me! We're getting married in less than two weeks!"
"I'm sorry"
His mom and dad must have heard Johnny yelling. They suddenly appeared at his side before the doctor left the bed.
"She did not die! I want to see her!"
"Johnny, honey-" His mother tried to put her arms around him, but he pushed her away.
"Don't touch me! Let me see Katherine."
**
"Somehow, I got dressed and left the hospital...without seeing her." Johnny tried to relax his face muscles, especially around his mouth. "I didn't get to see her until the funeral."
**
The family was allowed a final viewing before the closed casket ceremony. Johnny stood and stared down at the beautiful woman, who a few days earlier, was full of life. Her hair was so shinny, as if the sun was beaming down. Her curls rested against her forehead and touched her shoulders softly. She was wearing a light blue satin dress that he'd never seen before.
Since their engagement, he'd felt badly that he couldn't afford both a wedding and engagement ring. Katherine didn't care, and chose the ring from two he'd selected.
He couldn't say goodbye to Katherine, couldn't see her for the last time without somehow giving her the ring. He pulled the ring from his pocket and held it tightly between his fingers and thumb. But he didn't know what to do with it, how to give it to her. With Katherine he used to accomplish the impossible.
"Would you like some help with that, John?" A softly spoken man asked. It was the undertaker.
"I'd like her to have this," he whispered painfully. "I just don't know..."
The undertaker took Katherine's gently folded hands and moved them just enough for Johnny to slip the ring on her left finger. He watched her hands be placed back to their resting position. Johnny half expected her to wake up. He caught himself waiting for it to happen.
"We'll be starting the ceremony in five minutes, John."
Johnny took one final look at his fiancee, and kissed her cold cheek, her cold lips. She was really gone. As he walked towards the crowded room, Katherine's mother came to him. Somehow, despite her loss, she looked vibrant and ready for life, as her daughter always did.
"Johnny." She tried to hold his hands, but he unintentionally shrugged her away.
"Don't touch me, please." He put his arms up to guard her off.
"Okay." She had the same concerned look that his mother often had and di for the past two days. "It's a sad day for a lot of people. Johnny, the most important thing for a parent is their child's happiness. You made Katherine so happy for many years, Johnny. We used to worry about how happy she was with you." She laughed. Tears began to flow down her cheek. "My daughter's death was sudden, but she didn't suffer. And she died with hope for the future, and with a lot of love in her heart. You were the reason for that, Johnny Gage. You gave her...you've given me and my family a wonderful gift."
**
"You can certainly understand where Katherine got her outlook from."
"Yeah. That woman's strength sure didn't rub off on me!"
**
The river rushed downward below Johnny's feet. He just finished a cigarette. The pain in his throat gave him proof he was still alive. He threw his butt away quickly, as he heard footsteps, and for a brief moment, thought Katherine had caught him. But his mother sat next to him."When are you coming home, John?" He didn't answer.
"You've been out here since the funeral, Johnny. Two days you've done nothing but sit and stare at the water. You need to eat and sleep."
Johnny continued to stare, in a trance, but one that he was aware of.
"Someone from the college newspaper called. They wondered if you could start work a week early. That might be a good thing for you. Get settled up at the college early before-"
"I'm not going to college."
"John, you've had a terrible shock to your life, but sooner or later you'll have to shake yourself out of it. It might be best to keep busy."
"I just buried my fiancee, mom. A lot of people thought we were too young to be planning a future together. But my life at college was supposed to be her life too. I'm not going."
"You can't sit here forever. Anything you do, anywhere you go, you will be reminded of Katherine. For awhile, anyway. But you're going to have to face the challenge of getting through life without that woman by your side."
Night was falling and Johnny was still by the water. He waited for peace or closure on what had happened. He and Katherine had spent many hours listening to the water, throwing rocks, and just getting to know one another. Now, he hardly recognized the place.
"Thought I'd find you here."
"Drew. Did my mother send you?"
"I haven't seen your mom," he said as he sat next to him. He hugged his legs with his arms just the way Johnny was doing. "Hey, what's with the cigarette?"
"Would you believe this is the same pack I had the day I met Katherine. Remember that?
"Yep." Drew grabbed the cigarette from Johnny's lips and broke it in half.
Johnny knew he should yell. But it didn't happen. "It's amazing. I am so angry, but I feel so numb. I don't want to eat. I don't want to sleep. I am absolutely numb."
"I can't imagine what you're going through, man. If I ever lost Pam..."
"I haven't just lost my fiancee. I've lost my lover...my best friend. My future. What am I going to do without her?"
Drew didn't answer. The two men sat until the sun had lowered, making it too dark for Johnny to hide behind his sunglasses. He took them off and set them by his feet.
"Listen John. I received some news the other day, but with everything happening, I didn't get to tell you. I was accepted to train with the Los Angeles Police Department."
A week ago, Johnny would have thrown a party. But now, he couldn't even shake his friend's hand.
"Your Aunt Mona's an angel. My parents told her about it when she was down for the funeral, and she's letting Pam and I rent the apartment over her pizza shop."
Johnny just nodded.
"So...what are your plans?"
"Don't have any."
"John, you may not want to hear this, but maybe this is an opportunity for you. It's like the end of an era, you and Katherine. But it could be the beginning of a new one too, man. College might be too much right now, I don't know. But even if you just get away, somewhere else. Get out of this small town where everyone knows you and your story."
*
Mona sighed. "Drew's words of wisdom."
"Well, I didn't think that at the time. I was angry with anyone who suggested I leave that riverside. But I did, eventually..."
"And a few days later, you were in Santa Fe Springs."
*
"John Roderick Gage! Your family's been worried sick about you." Mona looked angry but relieved. She embraced him hard. Johnny surprised himself by hugging her back. He hadn't let anyone but Katherine get that close to him.
*
"I'd really only intended to stop by to see how Drew and Pam were doing. But instead,"
"I insisted that you stay. You were this fragile young man, so wounded. His aunt said. Do you remember what I said to you?"
*
Mona poked her head in the door of the Johnny's room. He was staring at the ceiling.
"Okay John, listen to me. I want you here. Uncle Chuck loves having you here. But I'm giving you ten days and ten days only to lie on that bed and feel sorry for yourself. After that, you look for work, or I'll put you to work making pizzas."
**
Johnny sighed this time. "Aunt Mona's words of wisdom."
"And the power of suggestion from Uncle Chuck."
**
"John, while you're sitting around moping, why don't you look at this stuff from the fire department."
"Huh?"
"The Los Angeles County Fire Department. One of my poker buddies works for them. Says they're looking for young recruits."
"A fireman." Johnny was intrigued.
"You'd do well at it, and it would do you some good, even if you just got some training. You're smart enough, strong enough, and you'd be with young men like yourself."
"And you've never looked back?" Mona smiled at the memory.
"There's never been much point in looking back." He felt satisfied, but low at the same time.
"Do you ever think how different your life would be with Katherine?"
"There's not much point in doing that either. But sometimes...sometimes I'll see couples with their kids and think...well, you know."
"And you've never shared your story with anyone? None of your girlfriends? Nobody at work? Not even Roy?"
Johnny shook his head.
"But in many ways it explains who you are. It's why you don't get involved in serious relationships, why you shy away from women who target you. You should tell people, John. It's all part of the recovery process."
*******
"Hello?" Johnny plopped down on the chair beside the phone.
"Johnny. It didn't take you very long this time. How's it goin'?"
"Roy! Good to hear from you. It's goin' very well. It's great!"
"How's Aunt Mona?"
"An angel as always. And how was Palm Springs?"
"Palm Springs was typically Palm Springs. It's there to make you realize that when you get home it's time to face reality."
"I hear ya."
"Anyway, I thought I'd pop around for a visit this afternoon."
"Hey, I'd like that. And could you stay for the afternoon? I've got something kind of important to tell ya."
"Recovery" ©1999 Ashleigh McCall. "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.
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