NO REGRETS

Johnny Gage stood in the locker room of Station 51 changing into his street clothes. He was happy and his mood showed. Everyone around him noticed the twinkle in his eye and the bounce to his step. It had been six months--six months since Johnny and Anissa were held hostage at the Winston Jewelry Store. What had started out as the most harrowing experience of Johnny’s life, turned out to be the best thing that ever happened him. He found love in that harrowing ordeal. He and Anissa had faced certain death, but together, they fought their way through. Now, after six months, they were still by each other’s side no matter what. Johnny thought that would never change and he was sure that Anissa felt the same way.

Whistling, Johnny finished changing. Roy watched, with a confused smile on his face. Johnny has been in this mood the entire shift, and Roy thought he knew the reason. He was happy for his friend. After all these years of dating different women, maybe this time Johnny truly found someone he could be happy with.

“So, what are you going to do with your days off?” Roy asked as he slammed his locker shut.

“Well, after I leave here, I’m going to go home and get some shut eye for a couple of hours. Then I’m going to give Anissa a call and hook up with her. Thought we might go to dinner.”

“I was wondering if you and Anissa are coming to the barbecue tomorrow?”

“Roy, I wouldn’t miss it. I’m lucky she was able to get tonight and tomorrow off. We’ll be there.”

“She never went back to the jewelry store?” Roy wondered.

“No, she took a job at the mall in a clothing store. She feels a lot safer there than at Winston’s.”

Roy checked his watch, “Well, I better get going. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“Ok Roy, I’ll see ya!” Johnny ran out to his truck as Roy headed for his car.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

After arriving at his apartment, Johnny went in and collapsed on the bed, asleep almost before his head hit the pillow. The last thought on his mind was Anissa. He fell asleep with a smile on his face. Hours later, Johnny rolled over, shaking the sleep from his head. Looking at the clock, he’s surprised to see it was 5 p.m.

“Oh man, I can’t believe I’ve slept the whole day! I’d better give Anissa a call” Johnny groaned, as he stumbled to the phone.

On the fourth ring, her voice sang out over the line, “Hello?”

“Hi sweetheart!”

“Johnny! You’re up already?”

“Already? I’ve slept the whole day! I kept dreaming of you and realized that I didn’t want the dream. I want reality.”

“I can be there in half an hour,” Anissa told him.

“I’ll see you then. I may be in the shower, so I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

“See you soon!” Anissa cried out as she hung up the phone.

Anissa went to her room and rummaged through her drawers. After trying on three different outfits, she settled for a purple and white tank top with white shorts and sandals. Turning in the mirror, she was pleased.

“Johnny will love this,” she thought. After checking her hair once more, Anissa turned to leave.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Arriving at Johnny’s apartment, Anissa was dismayed to feel it turning cooler. She heard thunder in the distance and ran into the apartment building wishing she bought her jacket along. Using her spare key that Johnny had given her, she unlocked his door and walked in. Hearing the shower, she smiled as she waited. A few moments later Anissa heard the water shut off.

“Johnny, I’m here!” she yelled through the door.

“I’ll be out in just a minute!” he answered.

“Ok, I’ll be waiting!” She moved into the kitchen and finding a fresh pot of coffee she poured herself a cup. Anissa was just taking a sip when Johnny came out of the bathroom. She can’t take her eyes off of him. He is dressed in tight blue jeans and a short sleeve white shirt, showing off his muscular arms. Johnny notices her stare and smiles.

“You see anything you like?” Johnny asks as he takes Anissa in his arms.

“Oh yes!” Anissa replies, kissing him on the lips.

Johnny breaks the kiss, reluctantly. “We’d better get going before I get into trouble.”

“So where are we going?”

“There’s a new Mexican restaurant that opened not too far from here. We can walk,” Johnny informed her. Anissa looked doubtfully out the window.

“Are you sure? It looks like it might rain.”

“We should be able to make it,” Johnny said confidently as he closed the door.

Barely three blocks away, they are caught in a sudden downpour with lightning flashing across the sky. They run back to Johnny’s apartment building as fast as they can. Laughing, they stand in the doorway dripping wet as Johnny unlocks his door.

“Man, I’m sorry about this,” Johnny mumbled.

“It’s not your fault. But we do need to get out of these wet clothes,” Anissa laughed and shivered as goose bumps appeared on her arms.

“I’ll grab some towels,” Johnny said as he ran into the bathroom.

Johnny returned from the bathroom a moment later with a towel draped around his neck. He starts to towel dry his hair as he hands Anissa a towel of her own. Her hand brushes Johnny’s as she takes the towel from him. Wordlessly, both look at each other, their eyes boring deep into the other’s soul. Anissa reaches up and unbuttons Johnny’s wet shirt, peeling it from his body. He doesn’t make a move as Anissa drops his shirt to the floor. Johnny slowly exhales while she kisses his chest all over. He gently pulls her closer to him, kissing her lips lightly.

He then trails kisses down her neck, resting on the hollow of her shoulders. Inhaling the scent of her perfume, Johnny looks Anissa deeply in the eyes once more, “Anissa, have you ever been with a man before?”

Anissa looks at him, “No, I just never found the right man to give myself to until now” she replies placing her hand lovingly on his cheek.

“If we do this, I don’t want you to regret that…that I was the one,” Johnny stammered.

“No regrets,” Anissa whispers as she draws his body close to hers.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Pulling into Roy’s drive around 8 p.m., Johnny rushed to open the car door for Anissa.

“What’s your hurry?” Anissa laughed, seeing Johnny run around.

“Roy’s going to kill me for being so late! Everyone is here already,” Johnny said as he knocked at the door.

“Hey stranger! We almost gave up on you!” Joanne greeted them, kissing both Johnny and Anissa on the cheek as she ushered them into the house.

“Hi Joanne, sorry we’re late. We got a little side tracked.” Johnny explained both he and Anissa blushing.

“I bet you did!” Joanne laughed.

“Ahh, where’s Roy?” Johnny asked, eager to make his escape.

“Everybody is out back. Why don’t you go on?”

“Great! Where’s the beer?” he asked JoAnne.

“I think Chet is guarding it,” JoAnne responded.

“From who?” Johnny wondered.

“From you!” Joanne laughed.

“From me! I don’t think so!” Johnny declared, taking Anissa by the hand.

“Johnny, can I steal Anissa for a little while?” Joanne pleaded as she walked over to them.

“Sure, but I want her back as soon as you’re done with her,” Johnny forewarned Joanne as he kissed Anissa on the lips.

“I’ll have her back in no time. I promise!” Joanne crossed her heart.

“See you in a little while.” Johnny said, pulling Anissa close for one more kiss. Letting go, he walked out the back door, with Anissa watching him leave.

Joanne takes her hand, “Anissa, normally I wouldn’t pry, but you have to tell me when it happened.”

“When what happened?” Anissa asked dumbfounded.

“You’re glowing! And a woman only glows if she’s pregnant or she just made love,” Joanne stated knowingly and watched Anissa blush. “You and Johnny! When? That didn’t come out right, I’m sorry!”

“That’s alright Joanne. I’ve been dying to talk to someone!” Anissa gushed, joy written all over her face. “Last night we were walking to a restaurant when it started to rain. We got caught in a downpour, so we ran back to his apartment. And, well…one thing led to another…”

“And you and Johnny discovered how you really felt. Was it your first time?”

“Yes. I have to tell you it was wonderful! Johnny took his time. He was so tender. I have been saving myself all my life for the right man and I have found him. Joanne, I have never felt so loved before in my life!” Anissa admitted as she watched Johnny from the window.

Joanne could sense how deep Anissa’s feelings for Johnny went, “Johnny’s a lucky man; he has you now.”

“No Joanne, it’s the other way around. I’m the lucky one,” she corrected her friend.

The two women sat, talking for hours. Joanne could see the joy that Anissa and Johnny shared, and she was never happier for her friends. She could see the love in their eyes as they stole glances at each other. Anissa felt she found a true friend in Joanne, something else she had been searching for all her life. As they talked, the two formed a special bond, knowing that their friendship would know no bounds.

The party started winding down, with everybody reluctantly leaving. Johnny and Roy came over to the women, sitting down with them. Now that everyone else was gone, they had a chance for a quiet visit. Over coffee, Johnny and Anissa talked, sharing their newfound love with their friends. Roy beamed, hoping that Johnny had finally found that someone special to share his life with. All too soon, it was time to leave. Rising, Roy walked the couple to the door.

“That was quite a barbecue Roy. You and Joanne really outdid yourselves,” Johnny commented.

“Thanks Junior.” Roy said, seeing Johnny look at his watch.

“We’d better get going. I have to work tomorrow,” Johnny announced, taking Anissa by the arm.

“You okay to drive?” Roy inquired, worried.

“Yes, Dad. I only had two beers. I knew I had to drive home.”

“Thank you for inviting us.” Anissa said, kissing both Roy and Joanne goodnight.

“Thank you for coming.” Roy responded with a smile.

“Hey Anissa, call me so we can talk again. I’d love to get together for lunch one day.”

“That would be fun! I’ll let you know the first day I have off!” Anissa promised as she turned to leave.

“See you at work tomorrow!” Johnny called to Roy, as they walked to the car.

With one final wave, Roy and Joanne walked back into the house. Turning off the lights, Roy gently took Joanne in his arms, kissing her gently on the lips. “I hope they are as happy as we are.”

“I know they are,” Joanne said confidently as she took Roy by the hand and they walked to their bedroom.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Johnny and Anissa drove along, talking quietly. The joy of the day washing over them both. Anissa smiled over at Johnny, who was watching the road intently.

“Are you as happy as I am?” she asked, taking Johnny’s hand.

“Sweetheart, I don’t remember when I have been happier,” Johnny responded, kissing her hand. “I love you.”

Driving along the dark streets, Johnny frowned as the car sputtered. Working the gas, Johnny got the engine going again. Anissa looked over, seeing the worry that crossed Johnny’s face. A few minutes later, the car sputtered once more, stalling the engine. Johnny hit the wheel, cursing as he guided the car over to the curb.

“What’s the matter?” Anissa asked, frightened.

“I don’t know. The engine cut out on me,” Johnny said angrily, as he jumped out popping the hood.

“Can you get it started again?”

“Not right now.” He frowned, walking back to the passenger’s door. “I don’t have my tools with me, plus it’s too dark. I can’t see anything.” Anissa could sense his frustration.

“What do we do now?”

“Honey, we’re only about six blocks from my place. I think we can handle walking,” Johnny told her and smiled at her.

“I can handle anything when I’m with you,” Anissa responded as she got out of the Land Rover, kissing Johnny on the lips.

For a moment, they forget where they are. Johnny finally breaks the kiss and takes Anissa by the hand, “We better start walking before I ravish you right here.”

“That sounds like fun!” Anissa teased, pressing herself against Johnny.

“We better go,” Johnny says once again, talking hold of Anissa’s hand.

The streets were dark and quiet, with no one in sight. Passing a construction site, Johnny notices two men standing by a wooden barrier in front of an abandoned house that is in the process of being demolished. Johnny pulls Anissa closer as they start to pass. Before they know it, one of the men steps out in front of the couple, blocking their passage.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

The man effectively blocked Johnny and Anissa from passing. He crossed his arms over his powerful chest.

“Hey pal, do you have a cigarette?” he asked.

“No, I don’t smoke. Sorry,” Johnny answered, as he attempted to pull Anissa along.

“What about the lady?” he continued and moved closer to block their path again. He was making the couple feel ill at ease.

“She doesn’t smoke either,” Johnny responded for Anissa as he watched the man checking her out. Seeing her look away, Johnny pulled her closer to his side.

“Let her speak for herself,” the man sneered as he confronted Johnny, seeing Anissa look up at him.

“I…I don’t smoke,” she whispered, as the man reached out, touching her cheek. Anissa looked away, moving slightly behind Johnny.

Johnny faced the man and tried to reason with him, “Hey, come on. We told you we don’t smoke. Just let us pass.”

The other man came up behind Johnny and shoved the barrel of a gun in his back and pulled back the trigger. At that same moment, the first man grabbed Anissa. She trembled, her eyes screaming with fright, as both she and Johnny are forced into the basement of the old house. The second man shoved Johnny against the wall holding the gun on him.

“Spread ‘em! Where’s your wallet?” he demanded.

“My left back pocket,” Johnny answered as he felt the man pat him down. He removed the wallet and flipped it open.

“Hey Todd! We got us a paramedic/firefighter here!” he said, tossing the wallet to Todd.

Holding his arm around Anissa’s throat, Todd caught the wallet with his free hand. “Well, well! A hose jockey!” he sneered as he watched his accomplice, Scott, advance on Johnny.

“Please don’t do this. Please! Let us go!” Anissa begged as she watched Scott turn Johnny around and shoved him into a chair.

“Don’t move,” Scott ordered while he kept his gun on Johnny. Scott pulled Johnny’s wrists brutally behind his back and tied them tightly with rope. Johnny grimaced at the pain and felt his fingers grow numb. Then Scott placed his gun on a nearby shelf that was barely attached to the wall. “Hey Todd, you know what would be fun?”

‘I already know what would be fun,” Todd grinned as he touched Anissa’s face causing her to look away.

“Let’s make the hose jockey watch,” Scott suggested wickedly and smiled over at Johnny.

“Man, you better grab some tape and put it over his mouth. I don’t want him yelling,” Todd instructed. Scott picked up a roll of duct tape and ripped off a strip.

“Don’t do this, please. Do what you want to me, but please don’t hurt her,” Johnny begged, before Scott placed the tape over his mouth.

Taking Johnny by the hair, Scott pulled his head back, “We won’t hurt her hose jockey. We are just going to have a little fun.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

June 10

Roy and Joanne were sound asleep when they were jarred awake by the ringing of the phone. Roy rolled over and groaned as he looked at the clock. It was almost six thirty. His alarm would have rung in a few minutes. He came awake instantly, fearing something was seriously wrong. There was never a good reason for someone to be calling at this hour. Groping, he pulled on the light as he reached for the phone.

“Hello?” Roy answered, still groggy. “Hey Doc. What?” Roy asked, sitting up. He listened intently for a moment, the color draining from his face. Joanne rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows.

“Ok! I’ll be there right away!” Roy said, as he hung up the phone. He rubbed his hand over his face.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly as she got up and put her hand on Roy’s shoulder.

“That was Dr. Brackett. Johnny and Anissa have been hurt. They’re on their way to Rampart.”

“Did they have an accident?” she asked anxiously. Roy shook his head.

“No,” Roy said as he walked over to the closet for a shirt. “They were jumped by some guys. Anissa was”

“Roy, what?” Joanne asked, the fear plain in her voice. “Is...is Anissa dead?”

Roy pulled on his jeans and buttoned his shirt as he turned back to Joanne.

“No, she’s not dead. She was raped…repeatedly. Then they attempted to kill them with some chloroform but a demolition crew found them just before they ran the wrecking ball.”

“Oh no! I’m going with you,” Joanne said and turned toward her dresser but Roy stopped her gently with his hand.

“Honey. I better go alone. I’ll call you as soon as I have the whole story,” Roy told her and then he kissed her goodbye. “Call the station for me and tell Captain Stanley. He’ll need to get replacements for both of us. Tell him I’ll call from Rampart as soon as I know anything for sure.”

“Okay sweetheart. I’ll call Hank for you. Call me as soon as you can,” Joanne implored.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Roy was frantic during the entire drive to Rampart. He couldn’t make sense of the whole thing. One minute Anissa and Johnny were at his house, together and happy. The next, they were at Rampart with their lives torn apart. Roy parked his car and entered the ER. He walked slowly toward the base station. The first things he noticed were two security guards posted outside treatment rooms two and three and was instantly alarmed for his friends. Dixie McCall was on the phone as Roy approached and she waved him over to her.

“Okay. Thank you,” Dixie said as she hung up the phone.

“Dixie, where are they?” Roy asked anxiously. Dixie pointed to the guards.

“Why are there guards posted outside their doors?” he asked fearing the answer.

“The nature of the crime,” Dixie said sadly.

“Who’s with them?”

“Kel’s in with Johnny and Joe’s attending to Anissa. Why don’t we get some coffee? They’ll find us when they are finished,” Dixie suggested, leading Roy down to the lounge. She poured two cups of coffee, handing one to Roy as she sat by his side.

“Thanks Dix,” Roy said and was surprised how his hands trembled as he grabbed the cup. They sat in silence. Roy was appreciative of Dixie’s moral support. He knew she was worried too.

Almost an hour later, Kel and Joe came into the lounge, finding Dixie and Roy still waiting at the table. They were silent for a moment, trying to deal with the horror of the situation. Finally Joe poured coffee and handed a mug to Kel as if to break the silence.

“Thanks, Joe,” Kel said as he wearily took the cup and sat down at the table with Roy and Dixie.

“Doc, are they going to be okay?” Roy asked apprehensively as he leaned forward. Kel waited a moment, obviously gathering his thoughts, before he answered.

“Physically, they’ll be all right after several days of rest, Roy. Johnny had his wrists tied so tight, that it cut into his skin. We’ve treated the cuts and I’m glad to say that there has been no damage to the tendons. I’ve wrapped them with gauze bandages and hopefully no infection will set in.”

“You told me the demolition crew found them. How...how close was it?”

“Roy, they were fifteen minutes from death,” Kel replied solemnly.

Roy drew in a sharp breath. He was speechless. Stunned, he sat back in his chair trying to take it all in.

“How’s Anissa?” he finally asked, almost choking on the words.

“She was raped repeatedly ” Joe said gently, seeing Roy closed his eyes at the thought of the brutality she had endured.

Roy opened his eyes and looked at Joe, “When can I see them?”

Looking at his watch, Kel answered, “Johnny’s being moved to a private room along with a guard. As soon as he is settled in, you can to see him. It should take about 20 minutes.”

“Okay. And...uh…what about Anissa?” Roy asked, afraid of the answer.

“I’d rather you didn’t see her just yet, Roy. With all that’s happened to her, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Once she starts coming around and remembers what happened, the last thing she will want to see is a man,” Joe responded. Dr. Early didn’t want to go into the ordeal that Anissa would have to endure once the police could interview her.

“Oh, I never thought of that. Should I have Joanne would come down and be with her?” Roy offered.

“That’s a good idea Roy,” Kel agreed.

Joe turned toward Roy once more, “And Roy...”

“Yeah?”

“When Johnny starts remembering what happened, it is going to be painful and he may even have nightmares.”

“You know how Johnny is with his nightmares,” Kel stepped in.

‘I remember. But no matter what Johnny has to deal with, he won’t be doing it alone. Can I go up to see Johnny now?” Roy asked as he stood to leave. Brackett nodded his consent.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Roy stepped off the elevator on the fourth floor. As he walked down the hall, he noticed Lieutenant Crockett and one of the guards he had seen earlier, standing outside Johnny’s room. Roy walked over, greeting him. Hearing Roy’s approach, Crockett turned, facing him.

“Hello, Roy. Sorry we have to meet under these circumstances,” the police officer said with regret.

“Do you have any leads?” Roy asked hopefully. From Crockett’s expression, Roy feared they didn’t.

“We have a few that we’re checking out,” Crockett replied vaguely.

“I hope you get the guys that did this,” the paramedic remarked, anger putting an edge on his voice.

“We will. You can count on that. Your partner is a good guy.”

“Yeah, he is,” Roy said before entering Johnny’s room. He took in the IV’s and the bandages that covered both of Johnny’s wrists. It alarmed him to see how battered his friend looked. Sitting down in a chair beside the bed, Roy watched as Johnny’s eyes slowly fluttered open. Johnny turned his head, blinking his eyes as he tried to focus.

“R…Roy?” Johnny croaked his voice weak.

“Hey Junior,” Roy answered gently taking Johnny’s hand. “Take it easy. You’re safe now. You’re at Rampart. Do you remember what happened and why you’re here?” Roy asked. Johnny closed his eyes for a moment.

“We, we…left your place and were driving home,” Johnny began, opening his eyes once again. Staring straight ahead, Johnny avoided eye contact with Roy as he spoke, “We got about four blocks or so from my place and the rover broke down. I got out, but there was nothing I could do. We…” Johnny gasped, his chest heaved as he struggled with his memories.

“I couldn’t protect her from those animals! I should have never suggested walking home! Damn it!” Johnny cursed, hitting his wrists on the bed, causing more pain. Tears of frustration streamed down his face as his agitation increased. Roy took hold of Johnny’s hands.

“Johnny! Stop it! You have to calm down before you pull out your IV’s! This wasn’t your fault! You did all you could under the circumstances,” Roy tried to reason with his partner, raising his voice in an effort to get through.

“I didn’t do enough, Roy!” Johnny yelled as he struggled against him. Johnny needed to get the memories out of his head, but no matter how he tried the images remained burned into his soul forever.

Roy yelled for help as Johnny fought him. Crockett and the guard ran in. Roy called them over to the bed.

“Hold him down! Don’t let him pull the IV’s out!” Roy ordered as they each took hold of Johnny’s arms. Roy rang the call button.

Johnny thrashed, trying to break free. Kel and Dixie heard the commotion and ran into the room, finding Roy and the police officers frantically trying to calm Johnny down.

“What happened, Roy?” Kel asked as he rushed to the bed.

“He started remembering, doc,” Roy replied.

“Dix, get me 15 milligrams of Valium,” Kel ordered.

“Right away, Kel,” Dixie answered, running out of the room.

“Johnny, you have to calm down! Everything is okay! You’re safe and so is Anissa,” Kel tried to assure him as Johnny kept on struggling.

Dixie ran back into the room, handing the syringe to Kel. He slid it into Johnny’s arm, watching as Johnny slowly started calming down. Looking up, Johnny spoke weakly.

“I…I couldn’t stop…” he gasped as he slipped away into the darkness as the shot took affect. Everyone in the room relaxed with him. Crockett and the guard resumed their places outside the room as Brackett rechecked Johnny’s vitals. He made a few notes on Johnny’s chart.

“Dix, we have to monitor him carefully. If he becomes agitated again, you can increase the dose by 5 milligrams, but don’t exceed 30 milligrams. I don’t want to cause respiratory depression.”

“I’ll make sure to speak with the floor nurses,” Dixie reassured him. Then Kel, Dixie, and Roy stepped back into the hall once they were sure that Johnny was sleeping quietly.

“He’ll sleep for a few hours now. Roy, maybe you shouldn’t see him for a couple of days,” Kel suggested.

“What! Not see him! Doc, you know Johnny’s more than my best friend! He’s like a brother to me! I can’t not see him!” Roy argued.

“Just give him a couple of days, Roy. That’s all I ask. He has a lot to process and to come to terms with.”

“But doc, I don’t want him to do it alone.”

‘He’s not alone. I have a staff of nurses more than willing to watch over him,” Kel tried to reason.

“But…” Roy stammered as Dixie cut him off.

“Roy, Kel’s right. What Johnny and Anissa went through was horrible but the after effects are yet to come. This is going to be rough.”

“Johnny and I have both been in rougher spots. We’ve always been there for each other. Let me be here for him now!” Roy pleaded.

Brackett considered this for a moment, “Ok, Roy. You can stay. But don’t ask him about what happened. Let him tell you what happened. It’s not going to be easy.”

“When has it been?” Roy retorted. Wearily he turned and made his way to the pay phone to phone home. Joanne picked up the call on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“Hi Honey, it’s me. Can you come down to the hospital to be with Anissa?”

“Sure. What do you want me to do?” Joanne could hear the sadness in Roy’s voice.

“Just be here for her. Joanne, she doesn’t have anybody.”

“You’re wrong, Roy. We are her family. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll see if I can get one of the neighbors to watch the kids.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon,” Roy said hopefully. He was beginning to feel he needed Joanne as much for himself as for Anissa.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

A short time later Joanne arrived at the hospital and found Roy waiting for her. She got permission from Brackett and Early to be with Anissa. Roy walked her up to the room. Joanne took a deep breath before she went in.

“Wish me luck,” she said quietly.

“You won’t need it,” Roy said confidently as he smiled down at her.

Opening the door, Joanne walked in. She found Anissa in a fetal position, facing the door, staring into space. Joanne sat on the chair next to the bed. She was quiet for a moment. All of Joanne’s maternal instincts made her want to take Anissa in her arms but she was afraid that Anissa would only pull away, going further into herself. She was heartbroken seeing Anissa’s torment.

“Hello, Anissa. It’s me, Joanne,” she said softly. Looking into Anissa’s eyes, Joanne was saddened to find no reaction. She talked about everything she could think of to get Anissa to come back from the place she shut herself into. Joanne went over the last six months.

“Johnny was a lost soul when you found him. All he could talk about was you, and how beautiful you were. He was so nervous about asking you out! You remember when he quit the fire department? You laid into him, and raked him over the coals for that one! Roy gave me a minute by minute play on what you said!” Joanne recalled as she stood to walk around the room. After taking a break for a few minutes, Joanne noticed Dixie come into the room.

“Hi Dix.”

“Hi Joanne,” Dixie smiled as she took Anissa’s vitals. Picking up the chart, Dixie made notes for Kel to review when he came in for his examination.

“Dixie, do you think she can even hear me?” Joanne asked in a worried whisper. Dixie smiled kindly at her.

“I really do think she can hear you, but I think she has to come back to a place where she considers herself safe. A place where she won’t be hurt anymore.”

“Are you saying I should try to have her remember something happy?”

“Yeah, something like that!” Dixie smiled encouragingly.

“You don’t think it’s too soon to start something like this? I mean that the attack isn’t even twenty-four hours old, yet.”

“I think the sooner you to get through to her, the sooner her recovery will begin. Right now she's lost in a place that's safe. The hard part will be getting her to come back,” Dixie remarked sadly as she checked her watch. She reached out and touched Joanne’s arm in a comforting gesture. “I have to get back to the ER. Good luck.”

“Thanks, Dixie,” Joanne said softly as the nurse left the room. She looked down at Anissa and reaching over, Joanne gently touched Anissa’s hand. She attempted to put a smile in her voice.

“Remember when you came to the barbecue with Johnny? I noticed right away you were radiant. I could see it in your eyes,” Joanne said, feeling Anissa’s hand twitch slightly. “Then I told you that you were glowing and you started blushing.”

Joanne continued as she felt Anissa’s hand slowly move.

“Remember? I said you either were pregnant or had just made love and you gave me the biggest smile, telling me that you and Johnny had made love for the first time.”

Anissa squeezed Joanne’s hand as the words broke through. Joanne could see the tears slowly roll down her cheeks as she leaned over, hugging Anissa to her. Joanne held her tight; rocking back and forth slightly as the dam broke with all of Anissa’s torment pouring out of her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

June 13

Slowly, Anissa started to come out of her catatonic state. Each time Joanne visited, she noticed Anissa become more and more aware of her presence. At first, Anissa would only blink and turn her head slightly toward Joanne. After a little while, she started making eye contact, giving Joanne hope that she was coming back to them. On the third day when Joanne walked in she saw Anissa turn her head, watching as she came over to the side of the bed. As Joanne sat down, she felt something brush softly against her hand. Looking down, Joanne felt Anissa gently trying to grasp her with her fingers. Joanne took Anissa’s hand in both of hers and held it firmly.

A short while later Anissa drifted off to sleep. Joanne left her side and went out into the hallway. She saw Roy step off of the elevator and walk toward her. Roy took Joanne in his arms, embracing her as they both sought comfort and strength from one another.

“Hi, honey. How’s she doing?” Roy asked with concern.

“Better. She’s starting to talk but she clams up when Dr. Brackett or Dr. Early come in to examine her.”

“I guess that’s understandable,” Roy shrugged.

“How’s Johnny?” Joanne wondered.

“He’s remembering what happened. He’s had nightmares almost every night. Honey, Johnny is really upset that something like this happened and he couldn’t stop it. The guilt is almost consuming him,” Roy recounted.

“This wasn’t his fault,” Joanne countered.

“I know that but in Johnny’s mind, it was his fault,” Roy said sadly and then admitted, “I guess I don’t really blame him for feeling that way. I’d probably feel the same way if it had been us.”

Joanne nodded her understanding. Yes, her Roy would probably feel exactly the same way but that didn’t make it any easier for Johnny or Anissa.

“Have the police talked to him?” she asked out of curiosity.

‘They have a meeting today around one p.m. What about Anissa? Has she talked to them?”

Joanne shook her head as she answered, “Dr. Early thought it would be best to wait a couple of more days.”

“You know Joanne, there’s something that bothers me about this attack,” Roy said, the worry evident in his tone.

“What’s that, honey?”

“Johnny’s not himself. He’s more reserved than he usually is.”

“Has he told you what happened at all?” Joanne wondered.

“Some, but something more had to have happened because I can tell that he’s holding something back. Johnny can try to hide things from himself but he can’t hide them from me,” Roy said plainly as he glanced down at his watch.

“I better get up to his room,” he said as he bent down and kissed Joanne before he turned to leave. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Roy went up to Johnny’s room, passing the guard as he walked in. Johnny was dressed and stood staring out the window.

“Hey, Junior. I see you are up and around,” Roy observed lightly. Johnny turned and looked blankly at him.

“Yeah, I couldn’t sit in bed anymore,” Johnny answered flatly as he walked over to Roy. “How’s Anissa doing?” Roy could see the genuine concern in his partner’s eyes as he asked about Anissa.

“She’s improving. Joanne has been staying with her.”

“Would you tell Joanne thanks for me? I’m really glad that she can be there for Anissa. She needs someone.” Roy wasn’t sure but he thought he detected a twinge of bitterness in Johnny’s voice.

“Sure,” Roy said and then noticed that Johnny not only was he dressed but he was putting on his boots. “Why are you putting those on?”

“I’m not sick and there is no reason to be here talking up a bed someone else could use,” he responded brusquely.

“Johnny, you have been through a traumatic ordeal,” Roy tried to reason.

“NO ROY! Anissa went through a traumatic ordeal! I…my ordeal was nothing like hers,” Johnny snapped as he walked over to the window once again.

“Johnny, talk to me. I’m your best friend! If you can’t talk to me about what happened, then who can you talk too? Johnny, you still have to talk to the police.”

“I can’t!” Johnny turned, barking back at Roy.

“Can’t or won’t?” Roy challenged. Johnny took a deep breath as they both face each other.

“Is the guard still at the door?” Johnny asked tersely.

“Don’t change the subject!” Roy demanded. Johnny’s brown eyes flashed with anger.

“Roy, the subject is closed! Now, is the guard still at my door?” he demanded again.

“Yes he is!” Roy snapped with his own impatience wearing thin.

“For how much longer?”

“I guess until they find the guys who did this,” came Roy’s exasperated reply.

“What if they don’t?” Johnny challenged his partner defiantly.

“Think positive. The police will get them.”

“What if they don’t, Roy?” Johnny reiterated. “What if they come after her? Only this time, they kill her! Hell, they’ve already tried once. They tried to chloroform us after it was over, only they didn’t give us a fatal dose! We can identify them. You can bet they don’t want that to happen!” Johnny raked nervous fingers through his hair.

“Give the police a chance to do their jobs!” Roy pleaded as a knock on the door interrupted them.

“Yeah, it’s open,” Johnny snapped as he walked over and sat back down on the bed.

Lieutenant Crockett came in, addressing both Johnny and Roy, “Sorry to interrupt your discussion. I could hear you through the door. Is something wrong?” Crockett asked, feeling the tension between the two.

“No, things are just fine. JUST FINE!” Roy growled.

“Okay. Ahh…Johnny, I really need your statement about what happened if you are up to it.”

“If I tell you what happened, can I get out of here?” Johnny bargained.

“That’s not up to me, that’s up to Brackett.” Crockett responded.

“I’ll talk under two conditions,” Johnny told him.

“What are they?” Crockett wondered.

“First, I want the guard removed from my door after I’m done,” Johnny replied, using his index finger to support his first demand. Crockett shook his head.

“Gage, your life is in danger from those guys,” he reminded him. Johnny brushed Crockett’s concern off with a wave of his hand.

“My life doesn’t matter. Anissa’s does. All I ask is that you take care of her. Protect Anissa, please.”

Crockett sighed, seeing there was no way to sway Johnny, “What’s the second condition?”

“I’ll tell you what happened…everything…as long as it’s just between the two of us. Private,” Johnny stated, looking directly at Roy. “I’m sorry Roy, but what I have to say, I’d rather you didn’t hear at this time.” He saw the disappointment in partner’s eyes.

“Johnny, I can handle anything you have to say,” his partner said earnestly.

“I don’t want you to have to handle it! I don’t even want you to know at this time. Okay? Please, Roy! Just not now,” Johnny pleaded frankly.

“You’ll tell me sometime, right?” Roy responded, softening his demeanor slightly.

“Sometime. Not now,” Johnny promised vaguely. Roy bobbed his head in acceptance.

“I’ll go get some coffee,” Roy announced before going out the door. He walked into the lounge and absently poured himself some coffee. After about an hour, Roy went back to Johnny’s room. He saw that the guard was gone and walked in. Roy found Johnny sitting on the bed and noticed his eyes were red from crying. He crossed to him in concern, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Johnny lied.

“Pretty rough going over the events, huh?” He watched as Johnny nodded tightly. The interview had been more emotionally draining than Johnny had thought possible. He looked over at his friend, the pain still in his eyes.

“I had to recall everything they did. Roy, it’s burned into my memory…her cries…her pleas. I’ll never forget what happened,” Johnny said almost strangling on the words. Roy placed a comforting hand on Johnny’s shoulder which he removed when he saw Johnny flinch.

“No one wants you to be hurt, we just want to help you get through it. You’re not alone in this and neither is Anissa,” Roy said as he sat on the bed next to his friend. How he wanted to comfort and help his friend. “John, give us a chance.”

“I will but I can’t right now. I’m sorry, it’s just too personal,” he said as he hung his head in shame. Without looking at Roy he asked, “Would you see if you could find Dr. Brackett? I wanna get out of here.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

June 22 – Two weeks after the attack

Johnny and Anissa haven’t seen each other since the attack. The night before his first day back to work, Johnny picked up the phone and dialed Anissa’s number. She picked on the third ring. He froze as he heard her voice.

“Hello?...Hello? Is someone there?” Anissa asked fearfully. She could hear someone breathing.

“Hi Nissa,” Johnny finally said as he found the courage to answer. Anissa is startled to hear Johnny’s voice. “Nissa? I need to talk to you. Please answer me.”

A tear rolled down her cheek, followed by more tears as she closed her eyes. The nightmare memories of the attack invades her mind and she sobs. The sound of her cries breaks Johnny’s heart.

“I know you can hear me, Nissa. Please don’t shut me out.” The line goes dead. “Nissa? Nissa!”

Angry, Johnny slammed down the phone and threw the bottle of beer he was drinking against the wall, ignoring the mess the shattered glass made. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He leaned forward in his hair and held his head in his hand in sorrow. “Oh Anissa! What have I done to you?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Returning to work the next morning, Johnny arrived early. He went directly to the locker room to find Roy is the only one in there for once. His partner has just finished dressing.

“Hi Partner! Glad to have you back,” Roy greeted his friend. Johnny opened his locker and reached for his uniform shirt before he answered.

“Hi Roy.” Roy became instantly concerned knowing something was bothering Johnny.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, Dad. I’m fine,” Johnny responded as he buttoned his shirt. He looked at Roy’s concerned face. “Really. I’m fine.” Johnny pulled on his uniform pants.

“You don’t seem fine. You look like you’ve lost some weight,” Roy observed.

“I’m fine, Roy. So just drop it, okay?” Johnny turned to reach back into his locker.

“Okay. For now,” Roy promised. He made his way to the day room and gathered his coworkers around the kitchen table. Chet kept an eye out for Johnny, not wanting him to know that he was the subject of the conversation.

“Guys, I have a favor to ask of you,” Roy began, looking around. “Please don’t say anything about the attack or anything about Anissa to Johnny. Not unless he brings it up first.”

“Roy, don’t you think he’ll feel it’s strange we don’t bring it up?” Chet asked from his position near the door.

“Chet, just do it. Please?” Roy pleaded, as Chet signaled Johnny’s approach.

The rest of the crew scattered throughout the room. Roy walked over to the stove, pouring a cup of coffee as Johnny came in.

“Hey guys,” Johnny greeted them.

“Hi John! Welcome back Pal!” Cap greeted him.

“Hey Johnny,” they all cried out in unison, as Johnny walked over to Roy.

“Hey Gage, it’s about time you came back. I thought I’d have to train a new pigeon,” Chet taunted as Roy glared at him.

“Chet, you’ll never be able to train anybody. I’m indispensable,” Johnny shot back.

“In your dreams, Gage!” Chet retorted. The klaxons sounded before Johnny had a chance to respond and the station reported to the call.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Anissa kept to herself during this time, only leaving home to attend a support group for rape victims. She also kept up with regular counseling sessions as well. She felt like a recluse, never leaving her home otherwise. She still refused to speak about the attack. But her friendship with Joanne steadily grew stronger. He had called last night but she couldn’t talk to him. It didn’t matter how much she wanted to. She just wasn’t ready yet. Thankfully she had Joanne to rely on. Joanne would accompany her to the group sessions. She sat in group that afternoon, listening to the counselor speaking.

“Good evening, ladies. How are all of you doing?” Nicole greeted them, getting a small round of responses. “Good. We had a real good session last week, so let’s make this a great one. What I want to do tonight is start with Q & A; then we will see where we end up. Okay? Who has the first question?”

Several members of the group voiced some of their concerns. Finally, Carla raised her hand, “You said we could ask any question we wanted, right?”

“That’s right.” Nicole answered.

“Have you been raped?” Carla asked as Nicole looked directly at her.

“Yes, I was raped three years ago by an intruder. He broke into my apartment. I woke up to a man on top of me holding a switchblade to my throat. He said if I didn’t do what he wanted, he would slit my throat; so I complied.”

“Why didn’t you resist?” Karmon asked.

“The thought crossed my mind at the time,” Nicole answered. “I was only 22 years old. I had no boyfriend and I was saving myself. I was young and having fun. The man that raped me was in his late 20’s, about 185 pounds, and at any time he could have snapped my neck, but he wasn’t a killer.”

“How could you be sure?” Heather asked.

“When he was done, he said he was sorry. His girlfriend had broken up with him that night; so he went out drinking whiskey…the more he drank, the madder he became. So he went looking for her, but he couldn’t find her. He started walking by my apartment building, where he jimmied my door open. He took all his frustrations out on me.”

“So what did he do, just walk out the front door?” Bree asked.

“Not before he tied me to my bed and raped me again. That time, he didn’t apologize. He just dressed and told me to count to 200 before I yelled for help.”

“Did you?” Heather wondered out loud.

“Yes, I did. But I was so scared he’d come back, I stopped yelling. My roommate found me the next morning.”

“Did they catch him?” Karmon wanted to know.

“They found him in the park that morning, passed out. He confessed to the rape and pleaded guilty. He’ll be in prison for a long time,” Nicole finished.

“You seem so cool about what happened. Didn’t you go, ‘why me?’ Or go through what we are?” Carla asked.

“I went through all of the emotions you are going through now. Rape is the most brutal crime a woman can endure. It’s not something you get over in a day, a week, a month, or a year. It lasts a lifetime. I have my good days, and I have my bad days. But the good days outweigh the bad ones by far.”

“Do you have a boyfriend now?” Karmon wondered.

“Yes, I do,” Nicole answered, smiling as she thought of him.

“What did he do when you told him?” Heather asked, leaning forward.

“At first, he was mad as hell at the guy. He wanted to kill him. But after I told him the story of what happened, he calmed down. Besides, it all happened before we even met.”

Anissa quietly spoke up. “Was it hard for him to deal with what that man did to you?” she asked as everyone looked at her in surprise. Anissa rarely spoke in the group. Nicole felt encouraged at her asking a question.

“Yes, it was for a while. Sometimes he would touch me on the shoulder, and I would jump. He would get scared that I would start screaming, or hit him, or just freeze up. It was hard. Sometimes I would just break all communications with him and shut myself down completely.”

“How did you overcome it?” Bree asked.

“I decided I wasn’t going to let that man keep me a prisoner in my head anymore. And from that day on, I decided I wasn’t going to be a victim anymore. I rediscovered what love was with my boyfriend. He took his time and we found each other,” Nicole said as she glanced at her watch. “Wow! Looks like we got a little off track today. But if anyone would like to stay and talk about what happened them, or if you want to ask more questions, that’s okay.”

“What if we’re not ready to talk yet?” Bree asked with concern.

“That’s okay, too. We won’t push you. There are others who haven’t opened up yet. It’s not time for them to do so. We can talk about whatever you want to,” Nicole replied.

“Can I talk about what happened to me?” Anissa asked timidly.

“Are you sure you are ready?” Nicole asked of her.

“Yes, I am. I’ve carried around what happened to me for the past two weeks. If I don’t tell someone, I’m going to lose what sanity I have,” Anissa stated as she began to weep.

Nicole went over and sat beside her, taking her hand. “It’s ok, Anissa. Just take your time. You can stop anytime you feel you need to.”

Anissa wiped her eyes and after taking a deep breath, she began, “Two weeks ago I was raped repeatedly by two men.” She stuttered, taking another deep breath. “While my boyfriend was forced to watch, they attacked me. We were on our way home from visiting friends when his car broke down. It was only about four blocks from his apartment. We decided to walk. It was a nice warm night. As we started to pass this abandoned house, there were two men standing there. They stopped us and wanted to know if we had any cigarettes. We told them no. Then as we tried to walk by, they grabbed us…,” Anissa said with her voice breaking.

Nicole stepped in and assured Anissa, “You don’t have to talk about the attack itself.” Anissa nodded. She wanted to continue. She needed to continue.

“They did things that…that I can’t even repeat,” Anissa whispered tearfully.

“It’s okay. You don’t have too,” Nicole soothed her.

“Was your boyfriend hurt?” Carla asked.

“I really don’t know. I haven’t seen him since the attack. He called me last night but I just couldn’t talk to him. So, I hung up on him.”

“Why did you hang up on him,” Bree inquired.

Anissa shrugged her shoulders. “I guess I’m afraid.”

“Of him?” Bree asked.

“Yes,” Anissa admitted quietly

“The rape wasn’t his fault,” Nicole said gently.

“A part of me feels like it was. If his truck hadn’t have broken down that day, none of this would have happened. He knew it was having problems, he should have gotten it fixed earlier.”

“What was he doing that he couldn’t get it fixed?” Karmon asked.

Anissa lowered her head in embarrassment, covering her face. Nicole kept her hand on Anissa’s.

“We were making love,” Anissa sobbed softly.

“That’s a good reason not to get your truck fixed!” Bree said, with all of them laughing for a moment.

Nicole squeezed Anissa’s hand and she looked up at the group leader.

“Anissa, you need to remember that your boyfriend saw you being raped and he couldn’t stop it. As much as he want to, he couldn’t. Something a man never wants to see is his girlfriend or his wife being raped in front of him and being powerless to stop it. You both were traumatized by what happened. Maybe in time you’ll find your way back to each other. But it takes time,” Nicole emphasized. Anissa was on the verge of tears when Bree spoke up.

“How long have you known your boyfriend?”

“I’ve known Johnny for six months now. He is a paramedic/fireman with the county. We met when we were both held hostage at the Winston Jewelry Store. We started seeing each other after it was over. Johnny never forced the issue of making love. He was always a gentleman; he never pressed me for something I wasn’t yet ready for. The night before the rape we got caught in a downpour and we got soaked. One thing led to another and we made love all night long, well into the next day.”

“Your first time sounds so beautiful.” Karmon said, wistfully.

“It was. I have no regrets that he was the one. I loved him so much.” Anissa said, finally giving into tears.

“Do you still love him?” Bree asked.

“I’ll always love him but I’ll never be able to be with him,” Anissa responded as she finally broke down, feeling everyone surrounding her, giving her the support she so desperately needed.

By this time, Joanne had arrived at the session, finding it had just ended. Anissa was speaking with Nicole and Joanne noticed that Anissa’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. As she walked over, Anissa stood up.

“Thank you Nicole, you really helped me.”

“It wasn’t only me, you took the first step,” Nicole pointed out to her.

“It was scary,” Anissa admitted, shaking slightly.

“The first time always is,” Nicole said, noticing Joanne approaching. “Hi Joanne!”

“Hi! How was the session?”

Anissa turned to her friend with a tired smile.

“It was great! I can’t wait to come to the next one,” she answered and then hugged Nicole. “Thank you so much. I need to fix my makeup. I’ll be right back,” Anissa told Joanne as she left the room.

“How did it really go, Nicole?” Joanne asked once Anissa was out of earshot.

“She did great! It really took a lot for her to start having the walls come tumbling down.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

They arrived at the DeSoto’s home a short time later. Joanne went into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee while Anissa waited in the living room. She picked up a picture of Johnny and Roy in uniform. Anissa slowly traced Johnny’s face with her finger. Joanne came back into the room with two mugs of coffee and found Anissa holding the picture, as a small tear splashed down onto the glass.

“That was taken last year. I’m sure Roy could get you another one if you would like one,” JoAnne offered.

Anissa set the picture back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sat down.

“No thanks. That’s okay,” she said as she took the mug that Joanne handed her. Hesitantly, she asked, “Has Roy said how…how…”

“How Johnny is doing?” Joanne finished for her.

“Yes,” Anissa answered with a whisper.

“It’s been rough for him. Today is his first day back at work.”

“Well at least one of us was able to get his life back and go on like nothing happened,” Anissa said bitterly, placing her mug on the coffee table.

“I can’t believe you just said that!” Joanne snapped, setting her mug down. “If you loved him like you say you do, then you would realize that Johnny is dealing with his own pain right now. Something happened to him during your attack that has changed him. He’s no longer happy and carefree. You know Anissa; you weren’t the only victim! Now, he’s withdrawn and doesn’t want the company of his friends!”

“Well, that makes two of us!” Anissa cried out, running out the door.

Joanne was torn over what to do…the two people she has grown to care deeply about, were off course by a million miles, and there seemed to be no way to get them back to each other.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Roy came home the following morning to find Joanne sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. He knew right away that something was bothering her.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Are the kids ok?” Roy asked with concern as he sat down next to her.

“The kids are fine.” Joanne sighed, “Anissa and I had words.”

“Words? About what?”

“Johnny,” Joanne said simply. “She seems to feel he’s just gone on with his life as though nothing had happened. I lost my temper. I told her that he hadn’t and that he was suffering just as much as she was.”

“What happened then?”

“I told her that he didn’t even want to be in the company of his friends and she said that made two of them! She then ran out. I haven’t talked to her since. I feel so bad Roy!” Joanne sobbed, breaking down in his arms.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

July 14

Anissa hadn’t called Joanne at all since their fallout. Nicole told Joanne that Anissa was still attending group but that was about her extent of a social life. Johnny was still distancing himself from his friends. He performed well on the job; but once the shift was over Johnny went home, closing himself off from the world. Everyone at the station was concerned, not knowing what to do or say anymore. Johnny had built up a wall around him, that no one, not even Roy, could seem to break through.

Roy was out working on his deck when Joanne came over and handed him a cold beer, “You ready for a break?”

“Thank you honey,” Roy replied giving her a quick kiss. Together, they both sat at the table.

“Is Johnny coming over?” Joanne asked.

“I don’t know. I asked him, but he was really vague about what his plans were,” Roy responded, taking a quick drink. “I wished I could get him to open up and tell me what happened. It’s eating him alive. Jo, he hardly eats and he never seems to sleep!”

“What does Cap think?”

“He’s concerned, honey. Who isn’t! But Johnny is doing his job, so there’s not much Cap can do. If Cap or I felt that Johnny was having problems to the point he couldn’t do his job, then we would take him off duty.”

“Johnny and Anissa are meant to be together. I have to talk to her.” Joanne said adamantly.

“Jo, you can’t play matchmaker this time. It’s out of your hands.”

‘I can’t sit around and do nothing!”

“Yes, you will!” Roy insisted.

“But Roy!” Joanne protested. Deep down Roy knew that his wife was right. There had to be someway to get Johnny to open up. Someway to bring their two friends back together.

“This has gone on long enough!” Roy declared, standing up.

‘Where are you going?”

“I’m going over to my partner’s place and he’s going to tell me what happened.”

“What if he won’t?” Joanne cried out.

“Then I’ll sit on him!” Roy stated firmly as he walked over to his car.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

It wasn’t long before Roy stood on Johnny’s porch, getting his thoughts together before he knocked. After a few minutes, Johnny reluctantly answered, surprised to find Roy standing there.

“Roy, what are you doing here?” Johnny asked. “Are Joanne and the kids okay?”

“They’re fine Johnny. Can I come in?”

“Oh…yeah…sorry.” Johnny stammered, stepping back from the door. “Can I get you some coffee?”

‘No thanks.” Roy responded, studying Johnny. He looked even skinnier than before, if that was possible, and his face was pale. “You feeling okay?” Roy asked worriedly as Johnny looked back at him.

“You drove all the way over here to ask me if I’m feeling okay? Roy, what’s going on? Why are you really here?”

“I’m here because I’m worried about you and so are all the guys at the station. Ever since the rape you’ve been building up a wall around yourself. You’re not eating. You’re not sleeping and you’re distancing yourself from all of us. Whatever is bothering you, you need to open up about it before it destroys you.” Roy declared emphatically. Johnny rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen, his irritation growing over his friends “concern.”

Johnny opened the fridge and stared into it a moment before he straightened and slammed the door. He faced Roy, “I can’t.”

“Can’t, or won’t?”

“I don’t want to talk about this now.”

“Then when?” Roy yelled becoming exasperated. “When you wind up in the hospital because the stress is destroying you?”

“No! I won’t!”

“Johnny, at the rate you are going you will be there in another week,” Roy pointed out as Johnny came out of the kitchen, facing him once more.

“Go to hell,” Johnny sneered at his friend.

“I’m already there,” Roy responded, standing his ground.

“If you won’t leave, then I will,” Johnny said as he tried to walk past Roy to the door.

Roy reached out, grabbing Johnny by the arm. “Not until you tell me what happened!”

Johnny could tell by the determination in his partner’s eyes that he couldn’t avoid him forever. In some ways it was a relief to get it out in the open.

“All right! All right! Let go of me!” Johnny screamed as he pulled free. He rubbed his arm as he walked over to the couch. “You better sit down. Are you sure you want to hear this?”

Roy nodded as he took his seat. “I’m sure.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you,” Johnny said, running his hand through his hair. “The one guy, Scott pulled a gun on me and the other guy grabbed Anissa. They forced us into the basement of the abandoned house. Scott shoved me up against the wall. As he searched me, he…he…”

“He what?” Roy quietly asked.

“He felt me between the legs. He did it a couple of times.” Johnny choked out as he walked away, embarrassed. He was afraid to continue. Afraid to see the shocked look on Roy’s face as he painfully continued. “Scott tied me to a chair and duct taped my mouth.”

“Why didn’t you tell me what happened?” Roy implored.

“I was ashamed to tell you, or anybody for that matter! Do you have any idea what I went through? Do you, Roy? I don’t think so, because you have never had to face anything like this before! You were never rendered helpless and molested by an animal while Joanne was being tortured and raped in front of your eyes! You didn’t have to look into her eyes, seeing her pain, and also seeing her disappointment when she realized you couldn’t help her.”

“No, we haven’t and I can't even imagine having to go through something like that, being helpless to stop it. I hope I never have to. And after what you say this ‘Scott’ did, well that explains your behavior…not touching any of the guys or me,” Roy said, stopping when he saw the confused look Johnny gave him.

“What?”

“You were molested by a man. Damn it, Johnny! You were raped as much as Anissa was! Look, since the attack, you can’t stand to be around men unless you had to at work. When you and I were on a run, if I touched you on the shoulder or arm, you jumped. Then you set up these walls at the station between you and the rest of guys. Even with me. It’s as if you thought we would do the same thing to you.”

“I guess when you put it that way, I did seem crazy,” Johnny replied.

“I really think you should talk to the department psychologist.” Roy advised.

“I can’t talk to a shrink about this.” Johnny hedged.

“Johnny, you need to talk to somebody!”

“I did…you.”

“I’m glad you did, but this is way out of my league! You need some professional help. The psychologist can help you take your life back and not be afraid anymore. I don’t think I can do that.”

“Ok, you made your point, Roy. Maybe you’re right. It might help to talk to a shrink.”

“Junior, I’m always right!” Roy said with a smile.

For the first time in weeks, Johnny smiled back.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Four and a half months pass, with all trying desperately to put their lives back together again. Anissa has patched up her friendship with Joanne. The two friends start relying on each other once more, as they have in the past. Anissa knows she has a friend and confidant in Joanne, and she is thankful that they have been able to work past their problems.

Johnny spent that time seeing a psychologist on a weekly basis. He, too, has been slowly putting the pieces back together. Johnny after finding that he could talk to Roy about anything often found himself sitting with Roy, talking for hours on end. Johnny also was able to face his friends at work better now, knowing that they thought no less of him.

Then they were notified that Scott had been apprehended. Both Johnny and Anissa then had the ordeal of facing a police line-up. Individually, they identified Scott as one of their assailants. Scott was then charged with two counts of kidnapping, rape and assault.

The trial was draining for Anissa and Johnny, as they both had to face their past and testify as to what had happened. It was the first time either of them had seen the other since the rape.

Once again, Johnny had to relive every detail of the assault as Anissa testified. He hung his head in shame, knowing that he had been powerless to stop what they endured. He wondered if Anissa was still ashamed of him. He tried to get her attention but during the entire trial, Anissa refused to even acknowledge him. Finally, Johnny gave up, as he could see that his attempts were upsetting to her. She had gone through enough trauma because of him.

Todd had not been seen since the attack and that had the police thinking that he had left the state.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Early November

Johnny waited for the elevator for an appointment with his psychiatrist. As the doors slide open, he spots Anissa standing there.

Anissa nodded. “Yes. I do.”

“Okay,” he conceded. Slowly they walked, side by side, down the hall to the exit.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Fifteen minutes later, Johnny and Anissa are seated at a cozy table of the nearby restaurant making small talk, carefully skirting anything personal. Johnny tells her about a stunt Chet pulled on him recently and they both laugh. He unconsciously brushes her hand with his and she recoils as if she was burned.

“I’m sorry!” Johnny starts to apologize but Anissa has become upset.

“I...I...I can’t do this!” she stammers on the verge of tears.

“Nissa. I would never hurt you. You’ve got to know that.”

“No!” she cries out. All her frustration and anger surfaced as she stares at Johnny. “It’s your fault! You’re responsible for my getting hurt. It’s ALL your fault!”

Anissa pushes away from the table and runs from the restaurant in tears, leaving Johnny alone and bewildered. Once again all his feelings of guilt come flooding back on him as he buries his head in his hands.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

November 16 – Saturday morning.

Roy and Joanne were having quiet time together, enjoying a cup of coffee while the kids were still asleep.

“So, how’s Johnny doing?” Joanne asked.

“He’s still withdrawing at the station. He’s been so quiet even the Phantom can’t get a rise out of him,” Roy replied before taking a sip of his coffee. “How’s Anissa doing?”

“About the same as Johnny. Roy? What are we going to do?” Joanne asked, her frustration obvious.

“Nothing. We have to let this run its course without our interference.”

“And just how long will that be until it ‘runs its course’?” she demanded.

Roy paused thoughtfully. “Soon...I hope.”

The telephone rang. Joanne rose from the table to answer it.

“Hello?...Oh hi Anissa...Uh-huh...Yeah. He loves turkey and all the trimmings. Roy and I were going to...You are? Ohh, okay...Well, if I can help be sure to let me know. Okay...Bye.” Joanne replaced the phone in its cradle.

“What did Anissa want?” Roy asked her.

“She wants to make Johnny Thanksgiving Dinner. Think he’ll go?”

“Good question. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

On Wednesday, Anissa is sitting at Joanne’s kitchen table going over some last minute preparations for the Thanksgiving dinner with Johnny. She was grateful for Joanne’s help. She was determined to come to terms with her feelings for Johnny and she hoped the dinner would help. She had surmounted so many fears. She hoped to put to rest her anger. She and Johnny had shared so much that was good and this love/hate roller coaster she was on threaten to tear her apart. That’s why this dinner was so important to her.

“Here’s a couple of recipes for some pies that are Johnny’s favorites,” Joanne says as she hands the recipe cards to Anissa. She looks at them before she puts them in her purse.

“Thanks. I’ll stop at the store on my way home.”

Joanne could sense Anissa’s nervousness about doing Thanksgiving with Johnny.

“Anissa? Why don’t you and Johnny come here for dinner? This is a lot of work for you to do alone.”

“No. I have to do this...on my own.” Anissa looked at her friend. Even with as much as she had shared with Joanne, she couldn’t explain how she felt about Johnny. She wasn’t sure she knew herself but somehow, she had to try.

“Okay. But if you need anything, you call me and I’ll come right over. Okay?”

“I will. Thanks Joanne.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Roy and Johnny are washing the squad. The rest of the crew has responded to a rubbish fire.

“So, do you want to come over tomorrow before you go to Anissa’s? Chris and Jenn would love to see you,” Roy said as he ran the soapy sponge across the driver’s door. Johnny was soaping his side of the squad.

“Okay. How about around ten?”

“Great! I’ll tell Joanne you’re coming.” Roy ran water over his door to rinse off the soap. “What time are you supposed to be at Anissa’s?”

“She said to be there around five. I hope I can get a nap in before then.”

“Well, I hope you two have a good time,” Roy commented.

“Me too. Especially after what happened at the restaurant. To be honest Roy, I’m really nervous about going over there and the two us being alone. I’m so afraid I’m going to say something wrong or do something.”

“Just try not to think about it. Be yourself,” Roy advised. “One way or another, you two have got to work through this.”

“I hope we can,” Johnny replied honestly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

5:00 p.m. – Thanksgiving Day

Promptly at five o’clock, Johnny arrived at Anissa’s apartment, carrying a bottle of wine, and rang the bell. A moment later, Anissa opened the door to him. She was wearing a grey skirt with a white blouse. All Johnny could think of was how beautiful she looked. As she showed him in, the aroma of the roasted turkey filled the room. He inhaled appreciatively.

“Something smells wonderful!” he commented as he entered the apartment. Then he smiled at her. “You look really pretty Nissa.”

Anissa blushed, feeling awkward. Johnny handed her the wine bottle. “I hope this will go with our dinner.”

“I’m sure it will be fine. Thank you.” Anissa turned to put it on the small table that was set for two. But Johnny reached out and stopped her.

“Nissa? I’m sorry about what happened at the restaurant.”

“No. I’m sorry. I over reacted to you touching me. I shouldn’t have. It’s...it’s just so hard Johnny to...” Johnny interrupted her by placing his index finger on her lips.

“Let’s put the past where it belongs,” he suggested as he gently leaned in and kissed her. Anissa instinctively pulled back.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Johnny said softly.

“We can never be together again, Johnny. Too much has happened!” Anissa declared.

“I’m not ready to give up on us! When I saw you the other day, I knew in my heart that we had to be together!”

“We can never go back to what we had!” Anissa shouted.

“You just want to give up?” Johnny demanded to know.

“Yes! Plain and simple!” Anissa screeched at him.

“This isn’t plain and simple! This is our lives!” Johnny shouted back.

“Not anymore! Our lives stopped being together a long time ago!”

“You can’t let those two guys take away what we had…what we shared! We had something so beautiful. We never got to finish exploring our feelings for each other!” Johnny said, as he watched Anissa start to cry.

“And we never will!” Anissa said as she turned away.

Johnny grabbed her by the arm, pulling her back toward him. “Eleven months ago you saved my life and my career. You kept fighting when I gave up. You wouldn’t let me give up and I’m not going to let you!”

“What are you going to do, rape me too?” Anissa hissed.

Johnny stumbled backwards, feeling like he had been slapped. “I’ve never forced a woman in my life and I’m not going to start now.”

Johnny watched as Anissa picked up the bottle of wine from the table and offered it back to him.

“All Indians like to drink, then find a white woman to rape!” she jeered.

Johnny took in a sharp breath as he felt the stinging words slam into him. He grabbed the bottle angrily. His sudden movement caused Anissa to step back, fearfully.

“You may be in the 1800’s, but this is 1978 and a lot has changed. I’m going to show you the difference.”

Johnny threw the bottle, sending it shattering against the wall. Wine and glass burst forth, running down the wall and spreading across the floor. Anissa backed away terrified at what was going to happen. She saw the carving knife on the table and picked it up. Holding the knife out in front of her, she faced Johnny.

“You come any closer, and I’ll…I’ll cut you!” she threatened.

“You could but you won’t,” Johnny said as he took a step closer.

“I swear, take another step and I’ll kill you!”

“You won’t kill me! You’re not a killer!” Johnny said, as he slowly took another step, keeping his eyes on the knife.

“Stay away from me!” Anissa shrieked.

“So it’s come to this. Pulling a knife on me. I’m not the one that hurt you Anissa!”

“But you’re responsible for what happened! It’s still your fault!” she sobbed.

Johnny’s shoulders slumped as once again he assumed the guilt and responsibility for the attack. He stepped back from Anissa slowly. “I’m sorry Nissa,” he whispered. Then he turned and quickly left the apartment. Anissa collapsed to the floor in tears, the knife falling from her grasp. She reached for the phone and called Joanne. For the next hour, Joanne listened to Anissa talk about what happened. When she finally hung up, Joanne sat down next to Roy on the sofa, sighing heavily.

“So how did things go?” Roy asked as he wrapped his arm around her.

“Not so good.” Before Joanne could say anything else, the phone rang. “Who could that be?” she wondered as Roy picked up the extension from the side table.

“Hello?” he covered the mouthpiece and mouthed “Johnny.” He listened for a minute. “Okay Junior. I’ll be right over.”

After hanging up the phone, he told Joanne, “Johnny wants to talk.”

“How long do you think you’ll be gone?”

Roy shrugged his shoulders as he rose to grab his jacket and keys. “I dunno. A couple of hours maybe. You don’t have to wait up for me.”

“I don’t mind,” she told him with a kiss goodbye.

Later Roy returns and tells Joanne Johnny’s version of what happened. Then Joanne tells Roy Anissa’s side.

“What are we going to do, Roy?”

“Let’s give them some space. Maybe things will work out on their own.”

“And what if they don’t?”

“Let’s cross that bridge when we have to,” Roy told her. The couple wearily headed for bed, contemplating the outcome of their friends’ lives.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next few weeks find Johnny and Anissa both still miserable. The pain of losing Anissa again was evident when Johnny was around the guys at work. But he performed his professional best on the job. In the meantime, the members of Anissa’s group can sense her pain at not having Johnny in her life.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

December 23

Roy and Joanne spend the evening with the kids, decorating the Christmas tree. Roy tried to get into the spirit of things, but they all could feel how preoccupied he had become.

“Daddy, will Uncle Johnny be coming for Christmas?” Jennifer asked, as Roy sat down, picking her up.

“I’ll ask him honey but he may not come.”

“Doesn’t he like us anymore?” Jennifer began to weep.

“Don’t cry honey, it’s okay. Uncle Johnny still likes us, he’s just really sad right now,” Roy assured her as he wiped her tears away.

“Is he sad because Anissa doesn’t want to go with him anymore?” Chris asked, causing Roy to look toward Joanne for the answer.

“Yes, you could say that,” Joanne answered quietly.

“Why don’t they just talk out their problems like you and Dad do?” Chris wondered. Roy smiled at Joanne.

“You know, Chris, you are a smart boy,” Roy said as he tousled his son’s hair. “Thanks for the suggestion.”

“Okay kids. It’s time for bed!” Joanne announced.

“Oh mom!” both cried out together.

“No ‘oh mom!’ Now get those teeth brushed and get your pajamas on!” Joanne ordered as the kids marched up the steps. Then turning, she confronted Roy, “Okay Roy DeSoto, what are you thinking?”

“Why don’t we invite Johnny and Anissa over here tomorrow night?”

“What are we going to do with the kids?” Joanne wondered.

“We can take them Christmas shopping. The stores are open late. That should give them plenty of time to work out their problems.” Roy said.

“Do you think that will be enough time for them to work out their problems?” Joanne wondered out loud.

“Honey, we can only hope.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

A short while later, Roy drove over to Johnny’s apartment. He and Joanne decided to ask each of their star-crossed lovers in person, figuring it would be harder for either one of them to say “No.” He knocked, and waited while Johnny opened the door.

“Hey Pally! What are you doing here? Come on in,” Johnny greeted Roy.

“I have a really big favor to ask,” Roy admitted as he stepped inside.

“Sure, what?”

“Joanne and I have some last minute shopping we need to do. Can you come over tomorrow and watch the kids for a couple of hours?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m just a little surprised you aren’t done yet.”

“So am I!” Roy said with a smile.

“So, what time do you want me there?”

“How about six? I’ll order pizza delivery so you won’t even have to cook dinner.”

Johnny laughed. “That’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Well, you haven’t seen how much Chris can eat now. He’s as bad as you!” Roy chuckled at the thought.

“That bad, huh?”

“I’m afraid so. Look, Jo and I really appreciate you doing this!”

“No problem partner. I’ll see you tomorrow night!” Johnny answered.

“Great! See ya!” Roy called out as he left.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

He found himself pacing the floors, waiting for Joanne to come home. She left as soon as he returned from Johnny’s. Roy knew that if Joanne failed to get Anissa to come over, that he would be spending a night out on the town with his wife the following evening. He ran to the door as he heard her turn the key in the knob.

“So, how did it go?” Roy cried out anxiously.

“Perfect! Anissa said she would be glad to help out!”

“That’s great! They’ll both be here!” Roy beamed.

“You know, Roy, I feel guilty about lying to both of them,” Joanne confessed.

“I do too, but we need to give them a little shove in the right direction.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

December 24

Roy waited impatiently for Johnny, as the hour drew closer to six. Joanne had already taken the kids to the mall, leaving the house quiet. Roy jumped when he finally heard the ringing of the doorbell.

“Hey, Johnny! Come on in! You’re right on time!” Roy greeted him.

“Wow! The tree looks great! You guys did a great job!” Johnny whistled as he took in the finely decorated tree. Mounds of brightly wrapped packages covered the base of the tree.

“Thanks, it would have been more fun if you had been here to help,” Roy assured him.

”I’m sorry. I just wasn’t in the decorating mood. Were the kids real upset?” Johnny asked.

“I told them you would probably be here for Christmas.”

“Roy, I wish you hadn’t told them that. I’m not sure what I’ll be doing for Christmas yet,” Johnny said quietly.

“Johnny, you’re spending too much time alone. You never come over for dinner anymore!”

“I said I was sorry!” Johnny argued back.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it anymore, Johnny!” Roy declared angrily as Johnny backed up against the wall. Johnny was surprised to see Roy this upset.

“You will be here for Christmas and 9:00 a.m. sharp!” Roy ordered as he tapped Johnny’s chest with his index finger. “You got that?”

“Yeah, I…I got it,” Johnny answered, shaken by Roy’s assault.

Roy backed off, watching Johnny rubbing his chest. Roy grabbed Johnny’s coat and tossed it on the couch.

“Hey, where’s Joanne?” Johnny wondered as he finally looked around.

“They’re at the mall waiting for me,” Roy answered.

“Waiting for you? They? You said you wanted me to watch the kids so you and Joanne could go shopping alone!”

“We changed our minds. The pizza should be here any minute now,” Roy said handing him cash to pay the delivery boy as he went out the door.

“Roy! What is going on?” Johnny yelled after Roy. A minute later the ringing of the doorbell catches Johnny’s attention.

“Roy! You better hope…Anissa! What are you doing here?” Johnny cried out in shock as he swung the door open to find her standing there.

“I could ask you the same thing! Joanne asked me to watch the kids while they went Christmas shopping!”

“You better come in. I think we have been set up,” Johnny answered as he takes Anissa’s coat. He throws it on the sofa with his.

“What do you mean, set up?”

“Roy and Joanne took the kids shopping. We’re here all alone. I’m guessing they are trying to get us back together.”

The doorbell rang again. This time it was the pizza delivery boy. Johnny paid him and took the pizza into the kitchen. Anissa made her way into the room and pointedly admired the Christmas tree.

Johnny returned from the kitchen and looked at Anissa, thinking how beautiful she was with her hair up. She wore a black skirt with an off the shoulder red sweater. Johnny gently touched her bare shoulder, quickly withdrawing his hand when he sees the way Anissa backs away from him…almost as if she was afraid that he would hurt her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said softly.

“Johnny! This isn’t going to work. When we’re alone all, we do is fight!” Anissa started to reach for her coat.

“Then let’s not fight. Let’s talk. Roy and Joanne went out of their way to get us here. I’d hate to disappoint them,” he suggested kindly. He reached for her jacket and set it on a chair. “Let’s go in the kitchen and have some pizza,” Johnny proposed, thinking that would be neutral territory. Anissa acquiesced and followed him into the kitchen. They sat down opposite each other. Johnny opened the box to reveal a pepperoni pizza. They both reached into the box simultaneously reaching for the same piece causing them both to laugh. As the laughter faded, their nervousness at being alone returned. For a moment they ate their pizza in silence. Johnny reached in the fridge for a couple of drinks. The silence between them spoke volumes. Finally, Johnny found the courage to speak.

“I just want to you know that I do take full responsibility for what happened that night. I’m sorry about what happened to you. Seeing what those animals did to you and not being able to stop it!”

Tears well in Anissa’s eyes as she listens to him.

“I let you down. I’m so sorry,” Johnny apologized as she wiped the tears away. “I don’t want to lose you because of this. We’ve been through too much to let this break us up without a fight.”

“I’m damaged goods now. Can’t you see that?” Anissa cried.

“Not to me, you’re not!” Johnny declared.

“We can’t go back to the past! I don’t wanna go back to us. It hurts too much. Forget about us Johnny!”

“Can you? I’ve never stopped thinking about you for one minute since that night. I still remember our first night together. Do you?”

Upset and confused, she bolted from the kitchen and ran into the living room. Johnny ran after her. Her tears started streaming down her face as Johnny came closer. She lunged at Johnny, her arms flailing. Johnny wrapped his arms around Anissa, and felt her continue her struggle to get away.

“Calm down, Anissa! Stop fighting me!” Johnny demanded. “Please calm down!”

Anissa struggled for a few moments more, and then collapsed into Johnny’s arms, as the last of her strength seemed to drain away. Johnny held her gently, rocking Anissa in his arms.

“There, there…it’s ok. Now you will be just fine! Just let it out!” Johnny whispered soothingly.

He reached up, taking the pins out of her hair, and watched it cascade down around her shoulders. Johnny runs his hands through her hair, remembering how soft it felt against his skin. Anissa raises her head, and looks up at Johnny.

“I’m so sorry!” Johnny, can you ever forgive me for what I said?” Anissa sobbed.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Johnny soothed her.

“Those horrible words I said, and I tried to kill you!” Anissa sobbed, as Johnny gently lifted her chin.

“It was the pain talking, not you. Let me take the pain away.”

“We can’t go back to the past, Johnny.”

“I know that, but let me take you to the present while remembering the past,” Johnny said as he caressed her face.

“I don’t want to remember it. It hurts too much.”

“Your past is your past. You’ll never forget it. You have a choice on what you want to remember of it. Close your eyes,” Johnny whispered as he watches Anissa do so. “Do you remember our first night together?”

“Yes,” Anissa whispered.

“Remember how beautiful it was? How I touched you, and you touched me? Remember how sensual our love making was?”

“Yes.” A smile formed on Anissa lips as she remembered.

“Let me make love to you like I did that night,” Johnny urged.

“I’m scared,” Anissa admitted, fearfully.

“Of me?” Johnny pressed.

“No. No, of course not!” Anissa declared.

“I won’t hurt you, Anissa,” Johnny promised.

“I know you won’t. You never would,” Anissa said as she touched Johnny’s face with her fingers.

Johnny took her hand in his and led her into the guest bedroom.

“Johnny, are you sure that we should be doing this in Roy’s house and bedroom?” Anissa asked hesitantly, drawing back.

“This room is mine whenever I need it to recuperate after an accident. The door has a lock on it. It’ll be ok! I promise!” Johnny smiled as he led Anissa into the room, closing and locking the door.

Johnny guided her to sit down on the bed and then he sat next to her. “Before we do anything, I want to make sure that this is what you want,” Johnny asked as he gently touched Anissa’s face.

“No regrets,” she whispered,

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

The house was quiet as Roy and Joanne returned home. They note both cars are still there and that the living room light was still on. Leaving the kids in the car, Joanne followed Roy into the house, only to find it empty. Joanne shot a worried look in Roy’s direction.

“How do you think things went?” Joanne asked.

“I guess we’ll find out, eventually,” Roy answered as he walked around the room.

“Where are they?” Joanne wondered.

Roy walked over to the guest bedroom door and turned the knob, which he found it was locked from the inside.

“Do you think everything is okay?” she asked anxiously. Roy just smiled.

“I think things are going to be fine now. Let’s go get the kids into bed. Six a.m. will be here fast.”

“Oh, Christmas morning,” Joanne remembered.

“Yeah, Christmas morning. We’d better hurry.” Roy said.

As soon as they get both Chris and Jennifer settled, Roy then carried out the presents from Santa, which Joanne placed under the tree with the other gifts. Then they turned out the lights and went up to bed, wondering what the morning would bring.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Johnny was the first to stir. Rolling over, he looked down at Anissa sleeping in his arms. She opened her eyes, smiling up at him.

“What are you looking at?” Anissa wondered.

“You. You’re so beautiful when you sleep,” Johnny said, seeing Anissa blushing as he kissed her.

Anissa pulled away for a moment. “Is this for real, Johnny? Tell me that I didn’t dream all of what happened?”

“Not only will I tell you, but I'll show you that you didn’t dream it,” Johnny smiled at Anissa as they began loving each other again.

Before they know it, morning has arrived and they are startled awake by the sound of children screaming in delight as they raced down the stairs. Johnny laughed at the way Anissa blushed, knowing that they would now have to face Roy and Joanne.

“What’s going on?” Anissa asked, holding onto Johnny.

“It’s Christmas morning! The kids are opening their presents from Santa. Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” Johnny said as he kissed Anissa deeply.

“Merry Christmas, Johnny.” Anissa replied, returning the kiss.

They rose after a few more minutes, and quietly dressed. Johnny led Anissa out into the living room, which was now strewn with paper and ribbons. Jennifer looked up, seeing Uncle Johnny standing there.

“Uncle Johnny! You made it for Christmas!” she squealed, as she ran over.

Johnny swooped her up into his arms, hugging her tightly, “I sure did sweetie! It looks like you have a lot of presents to unwrap! I think there are a couple under there from me!”

“Really?” Jennifer gasped.

“Really!” Johnny smiled as he set her down.

“Oh boy!” Jennifer cried out as she ran back under the tree.

As she started to unwrap some more, Johnny and Anissa sat on the couch to watch all the confusion with Roy and Joanne. Johnny wrapped his arms around Anissa as they all laughed, watching the children lose themselves in the magic of the morning. As soon as both children were finished, Roy and Joanne then opened theirs.

“Wow, look at all this paper!” Anissa gasped. “I’ll help you with it, Joanne.”

Before she could rise, Roy reached over, handing Anissa a small box. “Santa left you a present.”

“Thanks, Roy.” Anissa said softly, looking at Johnny.

But she can tell from the look on his face that it wasn’t from him. Puzzled, Anissa opens the box, finding a gold two hearts entwined necklace, which she gently took out, holding it in her hand.

“Oh, it’s beautiful! Thanks, Santa…wherever you are,” Anissa whispered, fighting back her tears.

“Let me help you put it on,” Johnny said as he lifted Anissa’s hair off of her neck.

“Thanks,” Anissa answered as she kissed him softly. “Joanne, can you show me where the garbage bags are? I’ll help you with this mess!”

“Sure, why don’t you come into the kitchen with me?” Joanne answered as Anissa followed her.

After the women left, Roy sat down next to Johnny.

“Thanks, Santa!” Johnny said with a smile.

“You’re welcome!” Roy answered.

“Can I pay you next payday?”

“Don’t worry about it, ok? This is a special present from Santa!” Roy replied with a grin.

“Ok! If you say so!”

“So, what happened after we left?” Roy wondered.

“Well, we ate some pizza and talked for a while. And then...well, I’m sure you can guess what happened then,” Johnny answered, smiling.

“And I have you and Joanne to thanks,” Anissa said, startling the men as she came in carrying a tray of coffee. Setting it down on the table, she walked over to Roy. “If you two hadn’t been so determined to get us back together, we probably wouldn’t be here now.”

Anissa reached for Roy’s hand and he stands up. She gives him a long hug and then pulls away. “Thank you.”

“Hey! What about me? Don’t I get a hug?” Johnny whined.

“Yes, of course!” They embrace in a warm hug, then Johnny kisses her. Reluctantly, they pull apart.

“Well, are you ready for some coffee now?” Anissa smiled at them.

“I’m ready!” Johnny answered, taking a cup.

“Me too!” Roy joined in, as Anissa poured one for him. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Well, if you gentlemen will excuse me, I need to help Joanne with some things in the kitchen,” Anissa informed them as she left the room once more. Later, sitting at the kitchen table with Joanne, Anissa continued telling her all that happened the previous night.

“He did what!” Joanne gasped.

“A number of times!” Anissa replied with a smile. Leaning over, Anissa whispered into Joanne’s ear, watching as Joanne turned beet red.

“Are you serious?”

“Very!” Anissa answered, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning found Johnny and Roy back on duty. They were in the locker room changing into their uniforms, hoping to make roll call on time.

“Hey Roy, can I talk to you alone?”

Roy looked around, “We are alone.”

“Not in here. I don’t want the Phantom to hear this.”

Chet opened the door, “I heard that, Gage! What don’t you want the Phantom to hear?”

“Nothing, Chet! Come on Roy,” Johnny says, dragging Roy from the room.

“What are you being so secretive about?” Roy asks as he rubs his arm.

Johnny looks around once more, “I’m going to ask Anissa to marry me on New Years Eve.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Roy asked.

“Gee, Roy! I thought you would be excited and happy for me!”

“I am excited for you! But so much has happened and you two have just found your way back to each other!”

“If we can survive the nightmare we just went through, then we can go through anything together. I love her Roy and she loves me. On my next day off I’m going to buy her a ring.”

“Johnny, I can’t tell you how happy I am. This has been such a long, hard struggle that there were times when I feared you would never be happy again. But look at you!” Roy said as he slapped Johnny on the shoulder.

“That’s because you would not give up on me. Thanks, Pally!”

“You’re welcome, Junior.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

New Year’s Eve rolled around, with everyone showing up at Roy’s for a celebration. Around 9:30 the party is in full swing when Johnny arrived with Anissa on his arm. Roy greeted them, ushering both inside.

“I thought you said you would be here at nine?” Roy asked in a teasing tone.

“I got sidetracked!” Johnny said, shooting Roy his crooked grin.

“Figures,” Roy groaned. Anissa excused herself to go find Joanne. Johnny grabbed Roy’s arm as Anissa disappeared into the kitchen.

“Roy, come here! I wanna show you something!” he said excitedly.

“What?”

“Not here! Let’s go into the den!” Johnny said making sure that Roy followed him. Johnny closed the door behind them. “I found Anissa’s ring. I think she’ll like it.”

Roy watches as Johnny digs into his pockets. “Damn!” Johnny cursed.

“What’s wrong?”

“I must have left it in my sock drawer. I’ll have to go back home and get it,” Johnny swore softly.

“You’re cutting it pretty close! It’s already 9:45!” Roy reminded him.

“It’s only going to take me 15 minutes! I’ll be back before long before midnight! If Anissa asks where I am, tell her I forgot something!” Johnny called out as he raced toward the door.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know Roy! Improvise! I know you will think of something!”

Roy shook his head as he watched Johnny leave.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

A few minutes later, Johnny arrived at his apartment and stuck the key into the lock. All of a sudden his left hand was shoved up against his back. The side of his face was slammed into the door and Johnny could feel the cold steel of a knife blade against his throat.

“Ahh…look, I have thirty bucks in my billfold, take it!”

“I’m not here for your money, hose jockey! I’m here for vengeance,” Todd sneered. “Open the door!”

Johnny’s blood turned to ice as he recognized the voice. He opened the door and Todd shoved him inside. Johnny managed to maintain his balance and he turned, rubbing his wrist, to faced Todd one more time.

“What are you going to do?” Johnny asked as he tried to back away.

Todd reached out and struck Johnny with his fist. The blow knocked Johnny to the floor, where he hit he head on the corner of the coffee table as he fell. Johnny could feel the right side of his forehead starting to bleed. Before he could regain his senses, Todd pulled out a roll of duct tape and quickly taped Johnny’s wrists together, rendering him helpless. Todd grabbed a handful of hair and pulled Johnny’s head back. Then he placed the tip of the blade against Johnny’s throat.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Todd growled. Johnny refused to speak. Todd ran the blade across Johnny’s throat, cutting him just enough to bleed.

“Arrgggghhh!” Johnny sputtered, almost gagging against the pain.

“Tell me or I’ll slice you from ear to ear!” Todd threatened, as he kept the pressure of the knife against Johnny’s neck.

“All right! She’s at her place! I’m supposed to pick her up!” Johnny gasped.

“Well, now you’re going to call her and tell her to come here! If you say anything you’re not supposed to, I’ll kill you then go after her.”

“Ok! I’ll do whatever you want!” Johnny sputtered as Todd pulled him over toward the couch and pushed him down. Johnny started to reach for the phone but Todd grabbed it away from him.

“No. I’ll dial it. Give me the number!” Todd ordered. Johnny hesitantly gave Todd the DeSoto’s number, which he promptly dialed as Johnny clung to the receiver. “Remember! Be careful what you say!”

“Hello?” Roy answered on the second ring.

“Anissa! Hey, it’s Johnny! I know I was supposed to pick you up, but I was wondering if you could come over to my place instead.”

“Johnny, are you drunk?” Roy questioned his friend, feeling perplexed.

“No. No, Nissa. You don’t have to bring anything, just yourself!”

“Johnny, is someone there?” Roy asked urgently as Johnny’s “code” became apparent.

“Yeah, you could say that! Look, why don’t you just come on over! I’ll be waiting,” Johnny said as Todd applied more pressure to his neck with the knife.

“Help is on the way, partner,” Roy reassured Johnny as he quickly hung up the phone.

“Can’t wait,” Johnny whispered softly as he heard the sound of the dial tone.

“You did a good job, hose jockey! How long will it take her to get here?” Todd demanded.

“Not long,” Johnny answered, feeling the blood lightly trickling down his throat and forehead. Johnny blinked a couple of times to try and focus on Todd, who was standing, looking down at him. “Please do whatever you want to me, but don’t hurt Anissa.” Johnny pleaded.

“Seems like I heard that before!” Todd sneered.

“And I meant it as much then as I do now,” Johnny answered, feeling himself becoming groggy.

“Ahh, pleading for the honor of your girlfriend! How sweet!” Todd said, sarcastically.

“She’s been through enough. Why can’t you just forget about us?”

“You and your girlfriend testified against Scott and sent him to prison for the next 25 years. I promised him that I would take care of you both. And I will!”

“Look, I told her to testify! She was scared and didn’t want to at first! I convinced her to do it! She didn’t remember anything about that night! I told her what had happened. The fear and the overdose of chloroform messed her memory up,” Johnny lied desperately.

“You told her what to say! Well then, there’s only one thing to do!” Todd screamed as he walked behind the couch, grabbed a handful of Johnny’s hair and snapped his neck back as far as possible. Once again, Johnny could feel the cold steel edge of the knife blade against his throat.

Todd whispered in Johnny’s ear, “Say your prayers hose jockey.”

Johnny closed his eyes and waited for the final slash of the blade slicing across his throat. His final thoughts were of Roy and his family and Anissa. He thinks of the children he and Anissa would never have together, when all of a sudden, two members of the SWAT Team kick in Johnny’s front door. Todd grabs and pulls Johnny with him as he retreats, keeping the blade of the knife against his throat.

“Hold it right there!” Officer Jones of the SWAT Team yelled.

Todd knows that he is cornered but he won’t give up without a fight. All weapons were trained on him as he pressed the knife into Johnny’s skin, causing it to bleed once again. Johnny felt the blood trickle down his neck.

“By the time I slice his throat, you won’t be able to fire off a shot to save him!” Todd warned.

Neither Johnny nor Todd were aware that other SWAT members had entered the apartment through Johnny’s bedroom window. Todd was so intent on dealing with the men at the door; he didn’t hear the other officers quickly approach from behind. Suddenly, Todd felt the muzzle of a gun against his head.

“Hey, what!” Todd choked out.

“He might not be able to, but I will! Now drop the knife or I’ll drop you,” Officer Wylie ordered through clenched teeth..

Defeated, Todd dropped the knife to the ground, while Wylie took him from behind. Wylie shoved Todd up against the wall and immediately frisked him, searching for other weapons. Officers Jones and White ran to Johnny’s side. They carefully rolled Johnny over and cut the duct tape away from his hands. Meanwhile Todd was cuffed and Wylie began reading him his rights as he shoved him out the door.

‘Get the medics in here NOW!” Jones cried out, looking at Johnny. “Help’s coming, just hold on!” Jones tried to reassure Johnny.

“Roy…where’s Roy?” Johnny said as he tried to rise. Jones gently restrained him to lie back down. The amount of blood frightened the officer.

“Just stay calm. Help’s on the way,” Jones said in an effort to calm Johnny down.

Paramedics Dwyer and Dawson arrived and ran into the room quickly taking over Johnny’s care. Dwyer instantly set up the biophone while Dawson began to take Johnny’s vitals. They had barely begun their assessment when Roy burst into the room.

“JOHNNY!” Roy screamed, fighting his way in. Dwyer rose to stop the senior paramedic.

“Roy, he’s alive!” Dwyer informed the anxious man. “He has a cut on his neck and a gash on his forehead that will probably require stitches once he’s stabilized. We will be transporting him shortly! But we need you to calm down!”

“But…” Roy began argued.

“But nothing, Roy! This is our call and Johnny is our patient!” Dwyer said before he turned his attention back to Johnny. Roy watched his coworkers attend to his friend and he knew he was in good hands. He heard the siren of the ambulance as it arrived. Quickly, he skirted the paramedics as they worked and slipped into Johnny’s bedroom. He returned to the living room as the ambulance attendants arrived with the gurney.

“I’m riding with you in the ambulance,” Roy stated firmly.

“That’s fine,” Dwyer said as they loaded Johnny onto the gurney.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Johnny was unconscious during the entire trip to Rampart. Roy watched as Dwyer worked, taking Johnny’s vitals and finally controlling the bleeding. Roy helped to unload the stretcher at the ER entrance and stayed with his friend as they rushed into the hall. They found Dixie waiting for them in the hallway.

“Treatment three!” Dixie directed firmly.

They wheeled Johnny into the room, with Roy staying at Johnny’s side. Refusing to leave, Roy stepped to the background, so as not to be in the way. He winced as Brackett removed the bandages from his wounds. Dixie began cleaning the cuts. Brackett issued orders to the nurses as he continued checking Johnny, while fighting to stabilize him at the same time.

“I want a full skull series, STAT!” Brackett ordered.

Minutes later, the portable X-ray arrived and Brackett ushered everyone from the room. They go into the hallway to wait. Anissa had arrived. She spotted Roy emerging from the treatment room, with a grim look on his face. Running over, Anissa felt her entire body trembling with fear as Roy takes her in his arms.

“Is he alive?” she sobbed.

“He’s alive,” Roy gently assured her. “They are running a skull series right now. As soon as that’s done, Brackett is going to stitch up his neck and forehead.”

“How bad is it?” Anissa asks fearfully.

“Not bad,” Roy answered, watching as the X-ray technician pushed his equipment from the room.

“You can see him after I get him sewed up and bandaged,” Brackett informed them. His mouth twitched into a slight but reassuring smile.

“Thank you, Dr. Brackett,” Anissa said, as she watched him going back into Johnny. Anissa clung to Roy’s arms as he guided her back to the waiting area.

“Roy, why didn’t you tell me Johnny was in trouble?” Anissa asked, as they sat down.

“Johnny would have never forgiven me for putting your life in danger. I did what I thought was right,” Roy said simply. He looked at his watch.

“12:45, so much for the party,” Roy muttered as he reached into his pocket and felt the small box. He slowly rose to his feet. “I’m going to check on Johnny. I’ll be right back.”

Roy entered the treatment room to find Johnny semi-conscious. Brackett was just finishing up with the last of the stitches. “Well Johnny, I’m all done and you shouldn’t have much of a scar.”

“Great,” Johnny muttered and then he saw Roy. He smiled weakly. “Hey, Pally.”

“Hi there, Junior. Looks like you’re going to be okay.”

“Nissa, is she okay?”

“She’s fine, Johnny. She’s waiting just outside in the hallway…she’s really worried about you.”

“I was worried about me! How on earth did you get SWAT over to my place so fast?” Johnny said, as he yawned.

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later,” Roy answered as he dug into his pocket and retrieved the ring box. He handed it to Johnny. “You still have time to ask Anissa to marry you.”

“It’s too late now,” Johnny said, as he closed his eyes.

Roy shook him gently, “Come on, Junior. Stay awake!”

“I can’t, sleepy,” Johnny mumbled.

“Come on, stay with me!” Roy ordered as he went to the door and called, “Anissa, can you come in here?”

Anissa quietly stepped into the room and sees Johnny lying on the table. She gasped, placing her hand on her throat as she noticed how pale he is. It returns her to another time when she saw Johnny like this, and Anissa wished that this was one nightmare that they would never have to live over. Anissa goes closer to the table, seeing the ring box in Johnny’s hand.

Roy leaned down and whispered in her ear, “The pain medication is taking affect, so give him an answer fast.”

Anissa nodded, as she approached Johnny’s side, taking his hand in hers.

“Johnny,” she whispered softly, brushing his hair back gently with her other hand. Johnny opened his eyes and smiled.

“Nissa, hi,” he answered weakly.

“Hi yourself! I’m so sorry,” Anissa muttered as she kissed Johnny on the lips.

“It’s not your fault,” Johnny said, barely able to keep his eyes open. “I’m really getting sleepy, so I better hurry. Anissa, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” Johnny asked, handing her the box.

Anissa opened the box, feeling the tears silently slide down her face as she stared inside.

“I’ll marry you, Johnny. I love you, too,” Anissa answered, as she passionately kissed him.

Johnny softly caressed her face as Anissa gave in to the tears, sobbing as she took his hand in hers. She grows alarmed and calls for Roy as she feels Johnny’s hand go limp. “My God, Roy! Is he alright?”

“He’s okay! He’s just passed out from the medication. I’ll get Dr. Brackett. Oh, Anissa, Happy New Year!” Roy called out, smiling.

Anissa smiled back at him, then down at Johnny. “It will be,” she promised.

Roy smiled back at both of them just as Brackett came back into the room.

“I’m moving Johnny to a private room as soon as possible. You two look exhausted. Roy? Why don’t you take Anissa home and get some sleep?” Brackett suggested strongly.

“My fiancé needs me here with him,” Anissa protested. “I don’t want him to be alone anymore. We’ve both been through so much, that it almost tore us apart.”

“It has also brought you back together,” Roy commented. “Johnny is a lucky man to have such a strong woman to stand beside him.”

“No Roy, you’re wrong. I’m the lucky one. Johnny never gave up on me when I gave up on myself,” Anissa replied softly, holding Johnny’s hand.

“For argument’s sake, you both are lucky to have each other!” Roy conceded.

“That we are, Roy! That we are!” Anissa agreed, as she lightly kissed Johnny on the lips.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

On the morning of February 14, 1979, all gathered at the Abundant Life Church of Laurel Canyon. Johnny was in the groom’s room, waiting for the wedding to start. He was so nervous, that he could not seem to sit still. Roy stood, trying to fix his tie as Johnny fidgeted.

“Johnny, would you calm down? I can’t get your tie fixed! You’re moving around too much.”

“I’m sorry, Roy! I’m…I’m just nervous, that’s all!” he said with a nervous grin.

“I know you are. I was too when I married Joanne,” Roy laughed as he finally fixed the tie.

“Thanks Roy,” Johnny said as he started to pace once more. “Roy, I have to talk to Anissa.”

Johnny ran for the door but Roy stopped him. “You can’t see the bride before the wedding! It’s bad luck!”

“I have to talk to her!” Johnny insisted.

“Okay, let me see what I can do. You stay here!” Roy directed as he left and walked over to the bride’s room. Roy knocked, waiting for an answer.

“Who is it?” Joanne asked.

“Jo, it’s me. Can I come in?”

“Okay, Anissa is dressed so I guess it’s alright,” Joanne replied as she opened the door.

Roy walked in to find Anissa standing next to the window. “Anissa, you look beautiful.”

“Thanks, Roy,” Anissa answered, blushing.

“She’s a beautiful bride,” Joanne agreed.

“And you are my beautiful bride,” Roy said, as he kissed Joanne.

“Thank you. So, what are you doing here?”

“Johnny wants to talk with Anissa.”

“No! That’s bad luck. You know that!” Joanne protested.

“Roy, he could talk to me through the door!” Anissa said, hopefully.

“Okay, I’ll be right back with him!” Roy smiled and ran out of the room.

“You don’t think he’s calling off the wedding, do you?” Anissa asked, anxiously.

“No, he’s just nervous!” Joanne grinned. “I’ll go check on Dixie and Jen.”

“Thanks, Joanne.”

“You’re welcome!” Joanne said, leaving the room.

A moment later, Anissa heard a soft knock at the door. She opened it a crack, just wide enough to hear Johnny, but not to see him.

“Hi Nissa, I wish I could see you!”

“Hi Johnny, you’ll see me in about ten minutes!”

“I know, but I wanted to just hear your voice.”

“I love you, Johnny,” Anissa whispered.

“I love you too, Nissa,” Johnny replied. Then he walked back into the groom’s room to wait with Roy.

Moments later the ministered knocked on the door. “It’s time.”

Johnny took a deep breath and followed Roy out of the room. Johnny walked to the front of the sanctuary, and waited nervously for Anissa to make her entrance. He could not believe all the people who have shown up. The church was nearly filled to capacity, with all of his friends in attendance to share the joy of this day with him. Even Brice showed up, which surprised Johnny.

The Wedding March started, with Roy and Joanne walking down the aisle toward Johnny. Then Dr. Brackett followed with Dixie on his arm. As soon as they were standing in place, Chris and Jennifer came down the aisle, with Chris carrying the rings and Jennifer sprinkling rose petals over the carpet.

Everyone stood as Dr. Early escorted Anissa down the aisle Johnny was nearly brought to tears at how beautiful Anissa was. All eyes turned, watching the bride walk down the center of the church to meet her groom. Joe placed Johnny’s hand over Anissa’s. Then he gave her a kiss on the cheek before he turned to take his seat. Johnny held onto Anissa and together, they both turned to face the Reverend.

“Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here to join Jonathan Roderick Gage and Anissa Catherine Larson in Holy Matrimony…” Reverend Shaw began.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Their wedding night was everything that they dreamed it would be. Johnny smiled at Anissa, who stood in the moonlight dressed in a sheer, ivory colored negligee. His breath caught in his throat, as the wonder of her beauty washed over him. Wordlessly, Johnny held out his hand, feeling Anissa take it softly. He led her over to the bed where he held her in his arms, gently kissing her lips.

Then their passion started taking over, as the fire burned through their bodies. Johnny held his wife in his arms, and he wanted to do nothing but love her. He still could not believe that they had overcome all their trauma, only to find their way back to each other. Johnny never thought he would be holding Anissa in his arms again and the wonder of the moment washed over him. He gently laid Anissa down on the bed.

“So, how does it feel to be Mrs. Johnny Gage?”

“Wonderful! I almost thought we would never get this far!” Anissa answered kissing Johnny’s chest.

“I know. After the rape I never thought I would get you back in my arms again.”

‘It’s a good thing that we have such good friends.”

“Do you regret not waiting to make love until we were married?” Johnny asked as he sensuously kissed her.

“No, not at all. I’m glad that you were the first and last. I have no regrets,. ”Anissa smiled.

The next morning, Johnny awoke with Anissa in his arms. He never felt so loved before. He leaned over and kissed his wife. A knock at the door disturbed them. Johnny pulled on his robe and answered the knock. A room service waiter stood at the door. He pushed the cart before him into the room.

“We didn’t order this,” Johnny started to protest as the waiter handed Johnny a card. Johnny fumbled to find his wallet and handed him a tip. He opened and read the card.

“What is it?” Anissa asked, coming over.

“I can’t believe they did this! It’s from Roy and Joanne. Here, listen. ‘Best wishes and a lifetime of love and happiness. Love, Roy and Joanne’.” Johnny said quietly. He closed the card, smiling over at Anissa.

“We are lucky to have such good friends,” she whispered.

“I know we are,” Johnny answered.

Johnny seated Anissa and they started eating their breakfast.

“Maybe when we get back we could take them out to dinner someplace real nice,” Anissa suggested as they snuggled together in the bed.

“That’s a great idea! “ Johnny agreed, as he ran his fingers through her hair.

“Johnny, I know this isn’t the time or place to ask this, but I have to know. What really happened New Year’s Eve?”

“You are right. This isn’t the time or the place,” Johnny told her. He reached over to kiss her but Anissa pulled away.

“Johnny, please. I need to know.”

“Honey, what happened is in the past,” Johnny said, “Let’s start on our future.”

“Johnny, please tell me. Please, I need to know.”

Knowing that she wouldn’t give up, Johnny groaned and sat up on the edge of the bed. “Okay, after I called Roy, Todd said that he was out for vengeance for our testifying against Scott. I wasn’t sure if Roy was going to be able to get the cops over to my place in time or not. So I had to stall for time. I told him that I had made you testify. I told him the chloroform had messed up your memory and that you were only repeating what I had said. I told him that you didn’t remember anything about that night at all,” Johnny said, as Anissa took his hand.

“Oh Johnny, why?” she started to weep.

Johnny gently placed his finger on her lips, “I said what I did so he would not come after you. The thought of…as he pulled the blade up to my throat, I had three thoughts,” Johnny brushed a tear from her cheek with his finger.

“Wh…what were they?”

“How much I loved Roy and his family and how much I would miss them.”

“The kids would have been shattered if something had happened to their Uncle Johnny,” Anissa said as he held her close. “What about the other two thoughts?”

“I was thinking of how much I loved you and how I was never going to see you again,” Johnny said, caressing her face.

“And the third?”

“The children that I would never get to have with you.”

“Oh Johnny,” Anissa broke down crying. She could feel Johnny pulling her towards him, as he kissed her long and deep. He wiped her tears away and she looked deeply into his eyes. “Did you regret what you said to Todd after you said it?”

“No. I had no regrets…none at all,” Johnny kissed Anissa as he rolled on top of her. He can feel her hands in his hair, pulling him closer. “I love you, Nissa.”

“I love you too, Johnny,” Anissa answers as they kiss. She pulls away once more, “Johnny?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s something you should know,” she whispered into his ear. “I might be pregnant.”

That announcement got Johnny’s attention, causing him to bolt upright in bed. “What!”

“Well, I was all caught up with what happened on New Year’s and with planning the wedding, that every time we were together I forgot to use any protection.”

Johnny smiled. “How long till you know for sure?”

“When we get back from our honeymoon I have an appointment with Dr. Brackett.”

“Well, until we find out, let’s keep practicing!”

“You’re not mad?”

“Honey, I could never be mad with news like this! Just the thought of a little Gage on the way makes me so excited! And with you being the mother, that makes me even happier!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

On October 27, Johnny aced the hospital lounge with Roy and Joanne keeping him company. Roy felt just as nervous as Johnny did. Joanne seemed to be the only calm one at this point.

“Johnny, you are going to wear a hole in the floor! Sit down!” Roy instructed his friend.

“I can’t! I’m worried.”

“She has the best doctors and nurses with her,” Roy tried reassuring him.

“I know that! It’s just that they’ve been in there so long!” Johnny pointed out, nervously.

“If there was a problem, then they would have come out here and told us,” Roy answered, matter-of-factly.

“What if it has and they can’t tell me?” Johnny said, causing Roy to roll his eyes.

Joanne took Johnny’s hands, “Stop thinking the worst!”

“But…”Johnny stammered as Brackett, Early, and Dixie come out of the delivery room. He rushed over to them and demanded, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong! Everything is fine!” Brackett grinned.

Joe continued, “How would you like to meet the newest member of the Gage family?”

“Is it a boy or a girl!” Johnny asked, unable to contain himself.

“Why don’t you come and find out?” Dixie said, as Johnny looked at Roy and Joanne.

“We’ll wait right here!” Roy laughed.

“Are you sure?”

“Johnny, go!” Joanne said, shoving him out of the room.

Dixie led Johnny over to the room where she helped him with the surgical gown and mask. Opening the door, Dixie watched as Johnny went in, seeing Anissa holding the baby. She looked tired, but at that moment Johnny had never seen anyone looking more radiant. He quietly walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Nissa, are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” she answered, smiling up at Johnny. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet! Ariana Catherine Gage.”

Anissa opened the blanket so that Johnny could see their daughter for the first time. He saw a mass of black hair. Grinning, he touched her fingers, feeling them curl around his own. “Nissa, she’s beautiful!” Johnny says, kissing Anissa on the lips.

“She has your long fingers and hair and…”

“She has her mother’s face and smile!” Johnny finished.

“She’s got the best of both worlds, Johnny,” Anissa said just as Arie started squealing. Johnny smiled as he watched Anissa open her gown and start breastfeeding. He was awestruck at how beautiful it was seeing his wife and their daughter.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two days later, Johnny took his small family home. Arie was sleeping when they carried her into the nursery. Anissa smiled as she lay Arie down in the crib, seeing a different kind of a mobile hanging there. Johnny put his arm around her as they watched their daughter.

“I’ve never seen this kind of a mobile before! Where did you find something so pretty?” Anissa asked as she touched it gently.

“The middle one was made by my Grandfather and given to me when I was born. I made the other three. They are called Dreamcatchers. We believe that they will catch all the bad dreams and let only the good ones through,” Johnny explained as they both watched Arie smiling in her sleep.

“It must be working! It looks like she’s having good dreams now!” Anissa observed.

“What do you sat that we go and have our own good dreams, while she is having hers!” Johnny smiled down at Anissa.

“I’d say we the we had better, while we still can!” Anissa turned the monitor on and they each give Arie a kiss on the cheek. Together, Johnny and Anissa walked quietly into their own room, holding onto each other. Together, they were ready for anything that life threw their way.

* * * * * * * * * * * * E! * * * * * * * * * * * *

THE END

Author’s Note: A big thanks to Kat for all of the encouragement that she gave me on this story line and the ideas to make it better. Without her, I wouldn’t have even finished it. Also, a very big thanks to Nancy, the Nifty Lady for her ideas and typing this (and the daunting task of reading my handwriting…LOL). You both went out of your way to help me get this to a site and without you both, it wouldn’t have been done. My hats of to you both...pally

Pally51@excite.com all comments welcome!!J If you want the adult version mail me.Also a big thanks to StarliteJ