Johnnys Omen
By Alice, Sheryl, Robin, Pat, Carol, Kathy, LJ, JO, Cin, Katy, Susie, Cameron, & Jamison
Chapter Two
A short while later, Roy, and Joanne were wandering around the zoo, looking for Johnny and the three children. They were drawn to the sounds of an argument. It was John and a strange woman. She was gripping the child that John was baby-sitting. They glanced at each other as the woman started to threaten John with calling Family Services. Joanne called out as they hurried over to Johnnys defense.
"Johnny?" Johnny turned to them, relief on his face.
"This woman says shes going to call family services on me. This silly kid climbed into the lion cage," Johnny explained, pointing angrily at Damien. Damien stuck his tongue at John, and Joanne saw it.
"Excuse me, whats the problem?" Joanne asked, looking sternly at Damien.
"For starters he let this child climb into a lion's cage! The child also states that he beat him." Joanne turned to look at Johnny.
"I didnt LET the kid do anything, he just did it.
As for the beating part, thats a total lie. I never touched
him," Johnny said, in his defense. She turned back to
address the woman.
"Did you witness this, so called, beating?"
"No."
"Then I see no reason for you to accuse my friend of such
a heinous crime. As for the incident in the lion cage, if you had
had better security around your lions, he wouldnt have been
able to gain access." The womans mouth opened to
respond, and Joanne continued. "Now, Damien," Joanne
took Damien by the hand, and Sylvia slowly backed away. "You,
young man, owe Mr. Gage an apology." Damien glared at her.
She met his gaze evenly. Finally, he dropped his eyes and looked
at John. Chet, Jennifer, and Chris walked up to stand beside Roy.
"Sorry," he mumbled. John nodded, knowing full well
that the child didnt mean it. The whole exchange had left
him tongue-tied. Joanne addressed the group.
"I think we've all had enough zoo. Let's go get the kids' stuff, well move the sleep over to our house. John, you'll stay too, of course, I wouldnt leave you out of this little family get-together."
"Hey! What about me?" Chet asked, sounding hurt.
"Well, Chet...your welcome to join us if you like,"
Joanne smiled at him.
"Yeah, Chet the more the merrier!" Roy teased, feeling
sure that Chet wasn't interested.
"We want uncle Chet! We want uncle Chet!" Chanted Chris
and Jen.
"Well, I don't know
" he looked down at his shoes.
"Whats wrong, Chet, chicken?" Johnny challenged,
before Chet could think up an excuse, he responded.
"Chicken? I'm not chicken!" He stuck his chin out in
defiance. "Ill show you whos chicken. Im
there!"
"Yea!" Squealed Jennifer, and everyone went towards the
cars, Roy looked over at Joanne and sighed,
"I know you can handle almost any child, but JOHN and
CHET? You sure you dont want me to call Cap. Hes
about the only one who can control the two of them."
"Now, now, John and Chet will be a cinch. Besides," she
giggled, "If I can handle you, I can handle them," she
swatted him on the rear as she went around the front of the car.
They got into the car and Roy leaned over, giving her a kiss.
"That you can. I hope you won't use the same discipline strategies on them as you do on me." They both laughed. The ride home was uneventful. The three children sat in the back seat of the DeSotos station wagon while Chet and John followed in their cars. As they drove up the driveway Roy immediately noticed the little girl from next door waiting at the front door. Jenny ran out of the car,
"Alice, Alice, Uncle Johnny took us to the zoo."
"Mom is it okay if Alice stays and plays with us?"
Chris asked.
"Oh joy, Alice is here." Roy said sarcastically.
"Good afternoon, Mr. DeSoto. Good afternoon, Mrs. DeSoto,
beautiful day isn't it?" She then turned to Johnny and Chet.
"I'm Alice, Jen and Chris's next door neighbor."
"Well, nice to met you. I'm Johnny, and this is Chet."
He smiled at her.
"You kids run into the house and get cleaned up for lunch."
Joanne instructed Damien and her two. "Alice would you care
to join us?"
"Thank you, Mrs. DeSoto, I had lunch already. But, is it
okay if I stay to play?"
"Sure sweetheart, run along with the others."
"Wow, now that's how a kid should behave," John
exclaimed.
"Yeah, whatever happened to respectful kids. I'm telling you,
that's whats wrong with kids today," Chet went on,
"they show no respect." As the two continued the
discussion, and how they would fix it, Roy laughed.
"Yeah, stick around, Alice will put Eddie Hascal to shame," he whispered. Joanne nudged him, tsking.
"Roy," she reprimanded. "You two," Joanne
pointed to Johnny and Chet, "need to get cleaned up for
lunch, as well."
"Yes, Mom," Johnny joked as he followed Chet into the
house. He tapped Chet on the shoulder as they neared the bathroom.
Giggles and the sounds of shushing came from behind the closed
door. Chet pointed at the base of the door.
"What the..." John noticed the bubbles rolling out from under the door. It suddenly burst open, spewing forth the little blonde, Alice, who stopped for a moment to curtsey and acknowledge the two firemen.
"Excuse me please, I just remembered I forgot to clean my room," she said, running for the front door. The two men stared in disbelief at the sight before them. The three remaining children stood surrounded by foam, looking guilty. Both mens mouths dropped open at the sight of the over-flowing toilet. Jennifer held the evidence, a box of "Mr. Bubble".
"You guys are in so much trouble," Chet said, shaking his head. He felt a giggle coming on and tried desperately to contain it. He knew he was going to loose control. This was too good.
~*~
Outside, Alice ran into Roy and Joanne, almost knocking
Joanne off of her feet.
"Hey, wheres the fire?" Roy asked, as he
steadied himself.
"I cant stay for lunch. I remembered I have to clean
my room," she explained, then started on her way, again. She
stopped for a moment, turning back to the DeSoto's. "Mr. and
Mrs. DeSoto, I tried to explain to young Jennifer that it wasn't
a good idea to put Mr. Bubble in the toilet."
"What?" the two parents exclaimed, hurrying into the
house.
~*~
"Future Phantoms!" The words bubbled out of him like the foam from the toilet. His laughter followed.
"You are not funny, Chet," Johnny commented. The kids started to giggle.
"They think I am," Chet said, nodding his head in the childrens direction.
"Yeah, well what do they know, theyre kids. Lets clean this up before Joanne sees it and blames me." The two men stepped over the threshold into the gooey mess. Johnny picked up his foot, looking at his shoe with disdain. "Ugh, this is gross," John cried.
"Feels nasty, doesnt it? What else did you guys put in here?" Chet asked, as his feet went out from under him. He grabbed at the first thing to steady himself, which happened to be his partner in crime, Johnny. The two men fell to the floor with loud cries of surprise and disgust. Roy and Joanne heard the cries and rushed into the doorway. Joanne placed both fists on her hips. Johnny and Chet were lying on the floor, moaning.
"Hey are you guys alrig
" the question was
abruptly interrupted, as Roy's feet hit the soapy floor. His
appendages flailing, as he did a near perfect swan dive. His
forehead struck the toilet with a thud and he landed in a heap on
top of Johnny and Chet.
"Mmph" muttered Johnny, as his nose made contact with
the sudsy floor. "Get off me Roy," he said, spitting
out a mixture of soap and blood.
"I will be..." moaned Chet. "As soon as Gage gets
his elbow out of my ear!" Roy struggled to push himself off
of his compatriots, and noticed Joannes first step into the
room. Wanting to warn her, he called out.
"No, dont..." but too late. Joanne landed on
his back, knocking the wind out of him.
"Wait until..." Johnny began.
"I get..." Chet continued.
"My hands on those...." Roy added, breathlessly.
"KIDS!" screamed Joanne! The four adults scrambled for a solid purchase. Joanne finally sat back on her knees in the hallway. She reached into the room and grabbed her husbands' hand. He leaned against the door jam rubbing his achy forehead. Johnny was the next out of the room, slipping his way to the carpeting, blood dripping from his nose. Joanne leaned in the door, grabbed one of her guest towels, and handed it to Johnny to place against his nose. Chet was the last out of the room, crawling on all fours to the carpet. Lying on his back, he grabbed his sore ankle. "Where did the little devils go?" She asked, looking down the hallway.
"My quesdion is, how did dey ged oud widoud us seeing dem?" Johnny asked, pinching the bridge of his nose to staunch the flow of blood. He let his head fall to the floor.
"Or falling on their " Chet questioned.
"Chet " Joanne cautioned.
"Sorry," he looked up at her, "I forget sometimes."
~*~
Damien and Chris hunkered down under the DeSoto family car.
They couldn't make out what the distant voices were saying, but
they knew it was in their best interest to stay hidden.
"Youre in trouble!" said Damien, in a singsong
tone.
"Oh yeah booger-brain? You're under here too!" Chris
reached over and punched him in the shoulder.
"Yeah, but my mom's gonna come get me soon, snot-breath!"
Damien punched back. The fight abruptly ended when they heard Roys
angry voice call out.
"Jennifer! Christopher! Come here
NOW!"
"I told you not to listen to Alice! She's trouble!" Chris whispered angrily. "Wed better go or dad will get angrier."
"He touches me, and Ill turn him in to family services."
"Shut up!" Chris told him. Joanne stood behind her
husband at the front door. Anger roiling from her like heat waves.
When the children didnt present themselves right away, she
added her two cents.
"I am going to count, and if I don't see three children
lined up in front of me by the time I get to ten..." she
slowly began the sequence, "One
, two
, three
,
four..."
"Go, stupid!" Chris said, pushing on the other boy.
"Cut it out, dummy!" Damien pushed back.
"Coming, mom!" Chris said, so that she knew he was
on his way.
"Shut up, stupid. She won't find us here. Besides, what's
she gonna do when she gets to ten anyway?" Damien grabbed
Chris's sleeve to keep him from giving away their hiding place.
Chris looked at the other boy.
"You don't want to know what happens when she gets to ten,"
he said, fear evident in his voice. "The only time she ever
got to ten, she made Jen and I dust the entire house. Then we
spent the rest of the afternoon washing windows. We even had to
use the stupid little vacuum cleaner to get the dead flies and
dirt."
"Ewe," Damien shook his head, "windows. My mom
doesn't make me do anything around the house."
"Well, if you dont want to do anything youd
better get out from underneath this car." Chris crawled from
beneath the car. Damien followed closely behind. They met Jen at
the front door. The three children stood in front of the
obviously peeved parents.
"What ever possessed you kids to toss a whole box of Mr.
Bubble into the toilet?" asked Roy. Jennifer shrugged.
"It was Alice's idea. She said it would get the toilet clean." She looked at Joanne with her doe eyes. "Mommy is always complaining about how messy the bathroom is after you get done, I thought we'd help her out." Her lip quivered.
"Oh please, Jennifer..." Joanne rolled her eyes.
"You put away that lip, young lady, it's not going to work!"
"But mommy..." Jen whined. Roy looked at his daughter,
"You know better than that Jen," then glared at the
two boys, "and as for you two, you should know better. Youre
older."
"But dad, we didn't know it would get all over!" Chris
protested.
"Well...since you three are so concerned with the
cleanliness of the bathroom, I guess you can just finish the job
you started."
"Huh?" Damien questioned.
"Follow me," Joanne ordered. The three children
followed dutifully. She led them into the bathroom; pulled 3
sponges and a bucket from under the sink. Handing the children a
sponge each, she told them, "I want this mess cleaned up. I
expect to see myself in the floor." They took the sponges,
nodding, as Joanne left the room she heard,
"Boy, you're moms mean," complained Damien.
"You havent seen nothing yet," chorused Chris and
Jen. Joanne smiled, as she headed downstairs. She stood on the
steps and surveyed the living room. Roy sat in his lazy-boy
groaning, Chet had his foot up on the coffee table, Johnny had
tissues stuffed up his nose, and his head resting on the back of
the couch.
"If you three arent a sight," she began to
snicker.
"What's so funny?" Roy growled.
"You can fight fires, but lose to bubbles and kids."
"Honey, can you get me a couple of aspirins?" Roy asked.
"Do you have a bag of ice?" Chet asked.
"My back is really starting to hurt, do you have a heating pad?" Johnny inquired. Joanne shook her head and looked skyward,
"Men!" she cursed. Roy whined,
"Jo, it's not funny!"
"Be back with the medical supplies.
"Roy?" John asked.
"Yeah?"
"Remind me to talk to Brackett about reproductive options,
would you?"
"Whys that?"
"I dont ever want kids." Chet couldnt let this one go.
"Don't worry, Gage. First you'd have to get a second date."
Johnny grabbed a nearby throw pillow and used it, causing Chet to
move quickly, jarring his sore ankle.
"OW!" Chet yelled. Being careful not to jostle his leg,
Chet grabbed the pillow where it lay and launched it back at
Johnny, hitting him squarely in the stomach.
"Hey!" Johnny picked up the pillow to throw it back at
Chet, when he saw Roy snickering in his lazy-boy. "You arent
going to get away that easily," Johnny commented,
promptly throwing the pillow at his partner, hitting him squarely
on the forehead. Drawn by the noise, the three children stepped
into the living room.
"How come they get to act like that?" Damian asked.
"I don't know, but I don't think Mom is going to be happy,"
Chris replied. One of the lamps hit the floor. Jennifer inhaled
sharply.
"Um, daddys gonna be in big trouble." The sound of approaching footsteps quickly dispatched the children back to the bathroom. Joanne, thinking that the children had ditched their chores, headed toward the living room.
"If the kids keep this up," Joanne muttered to
herself, "I wont have to lift a finger to clean the
house. Itll be sparkling before the day is up." As she
rounded the corner, she was surprised to see it was her three
other children making all the noise. What was even worse, they
were throwing things at each other like preschoolers. "Roy
DeSoto, John Gage, Chet...OW my nose!" she cried, cupping
her hands over her face, as Chris's regulation leather football
dropped to her feet. The room suddenly became quiet, all eyes
darting to Joanne.
Roy was instantly at Joanne's side reaching for her hands.
"Jo, honey, are you all right?" Pulling her hands
away, he was amazed to see her nose was already swollen to twice
it's normal size and uncontrolled tears were streaming down her
face.
"Way to go Gage! First time you ever score and it's with
your best friends wife." yelled Chet.
"Me? I...You.... Oh shut up, Chet." Johnny said,
glaring at him. "Youre the one who found the stupid
ball."
"Me? I believe it was Roy," Chet challenged. Roy gave the men a stern look, causing them to be quiet. The children, having heard Joanne's cry, were standing at the top of the stairs, amazed at the disaster before them.
"Wow...look at that mess!" said Damien.
"No wonder mom's crying," Jennifer whispered. "Look at what she has to clean up!"
"Im glad were almost done with the bathroom,"
added Chris, scurrying back to the bathroom, Damien, and Jennifer
close behind.
"Everyone, SHUT UP!" Joanne bellowed, as they argued
over whose fault it was. A loud pounding drew everyone's
attention to the door. "Now what?" Joanne muttered as
she headed to the door and opened it. She was shocked to find
Officer Vince Howard. Vince was equally shocked to see the damage
to Joannes nose. "Vince," she began as she opened
the door. Suddenly, Officer Howard reached past her, grabbing Roy
and pulling him outside to the ground. Within moments, Roy was
flat on his stomach, hands cuffed behind his back.
"Vince, what are you doing?" Joanne cried, amazed at
how quickly Vince had managed to subdue Roy.
"We had a report of a domestic disturbance, I can see the
call has some merit." Vince explained, looking pointedly at
Joanne's nose.
"Vince, this is all some kind of mistake," Roy grunted,
rolling over onto his side. Vince looked at Roy, noticing the
bruise forming on his forehead and the blackness beginning to
circle his eyes.
"Vince, let me explain," Johnny winced, shuffling to
stand next to Joanne, hand on his back, not able to stand erect.
"No, I'll explain," Chet grimaced. Hobbling to Joanne's
other side, using Chris baseball bat as a cane.
"Well somebody better explain, and explain fast!" Vince
exclaimed, warily surveying the group around him. "What is
going on here?" And that's when they heard a sinister little
laugh coming from the curb. All eyes turned to the little girl
standing there, a look of pure innocence on her angelic face.
"GO ASK ALICE!" The four adults proclaimed in unison.
The little girl batted her big blue eyes.
"Oh, Mr. Police Officer! I don't know what these people are talking about! They're so...mean to me." She started to cry. Real tears flowed down her cheeks. The four adults mouths dropped open at her talent. Vince patted her on the back.
"There, there sweetheart." He turned and looked at the others in the house. "I cant believe that you are actually accusing this beautiful little thing of doing all this damage." Alice smiled, behind Vinces back. Chet muttered to Gage,
"You bet we are!" Johnny elbowed him as Vince gave them a dirty look. Joanne sighed, and turned to Roy,
"By dose really hurds."
"Look Vince. Johnny and Chet will explain it all. I have to take my wife to Rampart." He pleaded with his eyes; "Can you please remove these things?" Vince hesitated. "Look, you know where I work, and where I live, how will I be able to get away from you?"
"Good point," Vince said, as he removed the cuffs, helping the downed paramedic.
"But you can't leave us alone with them...." Chet turned and went into the house, flopping down into a nearby chair and elevating his foot. Vince followed wanting more information. He sat in a chair opposite the firefighter.
"Oh, and Gage you had better get busy cleaning up this mess, Joanne deserves a clean house when she gets back."
"And whats wrong with you helping?"
"My ankle is throbbing something awful, and I dont think I should put any weight on it."
"If you think you're getting out of helping me, you have
another think coming, Chet," Johnny stated. He pushed on the
chair that Chet was sitting on.
"What do you think you're doing Johnny?" Chet asked.
"Vince did you see that?"
"Uncle Johnny?" the tiny voice filled the room. The
three adults looked in the direction of the voice. Chris and
Jennifer stood at the bottom of the stairs with tears in their
eyes. "Youre fighting?" Jennifers voice
cracked. "Mommy says youre not suppose to fight."
"Jennifer, don't you know, grown ups can do whatever they
want. They only make rules up for kids, so they can have someone
to boss around," Damien told her.
"Is that true, Uncle Johnny?" Jennifer asked him.
"No, it's not true," Johnny said, stepping over, he took her into his arms, and smoothed her hair. Johnny opened his mouth to respond to her question when Damian took the opportunity to open his mouth again.
"I can't wait to be a grown up, so I can do whatever I
want!"
"Ha, ha, I do whatever I want NOW!" Alice declared
smugly.
"Then, go do it." Johnny muttered in a deadly calm tone.
"Come on kids, let's go take our baths." The three of
them headed up the stairs. "I think the living room can wait
for me." Johnny turned on the stairs and smiled evilly at
Chet. "You can take care of Damien and Alice."
~*~
Joanne winced as Dr. Brackett finished examining her nose.
"Well, Joanne, we'll get some x-rays, but I'm pretty sure it
is broken." Stepping back, he folded his arms across his
chest, and directed his attention toward Roy. "Are you sure
you don't want me to take a look at your head?"
"No Doc, I'm fine." Roy replied absently rubbing his
forehead. Moving to Joanne's side, he put his arm around her
shoulders.
"So," continued Br. Brackett, "What exactly
happened?"
"You jusd wouldn'd believe id," she moaned. The door to
the treatment room opened and Dr. Early came to an abrupt stop
upon seeing the bruised and battered DeSoto's.
"What war did you two come from?" Dixie and Dr. Morton
followed close behind.
"I hope you at least won the fight!" Dixie exclaimed.
"It looks like they both lost to me Dix," added Dr.
Morton. He looked suspiciously between the husband and wife,
"You know, we have some very excellent counselors on staff..."
he began, but noticing the icy glare he was getting from both
patients, he didn't finish his statement.
~*~
There came a knock on the DeSotos front door. Vince
opened the door and there stood Captain Stanley. He ushered him
in.
"Cant you guys even behave on your days off?"
Johnny stepped down off of the stairs.
"Come on, Cap," protested Johnny, he glanced at Chet. "We had everything under control, isn't that right, Chet?"
"If its so under control, then whats Vince
doing here?" Hank asked. "And where are Roy and Joanne?"
"Mommy's nose got hit by a football, Mr. Stanley,"
Jennifer ran to give Hank a bear hug. "Just like Marcia
Brady!" She gave him a greeting kiss on the cheek.
"Yeah," said Chris as he stepped off of the stairs to
stand beside Johnny. "Daddy took her to Rampart." He
looked at the ground.
"Alice was a bad girl. She started it. She thought it
would be fun to put Mr. Bubble in the potty." Jennifer began.
"No, squirt," said Chris. He looked angrily at Damien.
"You started it! You said you didn't want to spend time with
some stupid fireman and his dorky friends! You ran off and
spoiled our trip to the zoo! Then you, and Alice, put the whole
box of Mr. Bubble in the toilet and made a huge mess!" Jen
nodded solemnly.
"Daddy cracked his head when it hit the potty."
"Yeah," said Chris. "Then Mom made us clean up the
whole bathroom. Yuck! Alice ran home."
"So, who threw the football," asked Hank, eyeing Chet
and Johnny suspiciously. Chet raised a guilty hand.
"I found it behind the couch and tossed it to Roy, then
he tossed it back to me, and when I tossed it at Johnny, Joanne
stepped in front of it."
"I was getting ready to take the kids up to the bathtub and
Chet was going to get started picking up the living room."
Johnny ran his hand threw his hair.
"Says who, I was going to pick up the living room? My ankle is broken, leave me alone."
"Yeah, well, Im not the only one who made this mess,"
Johnny said.
"All right, I think I have a clear picture of what happened."
Hank eyed his motley crew. He looked at Jennifer. "How about
we surprise your mom and Dad when they get back from Rampart?"
"How?"
"I'll bet he's gonna make us clean the whole house!"
Damien grumbled.
"Excuse me?" Hank retorted.
"Nothing." Damien muttered. He stuffed his hands in his
pockets, and looked down at his shoe. He kicked at the carpet.
"Thats better. From the sound of it, we have A LOT of
work to do! You two get started in the bathroom."
"Aw Cap!" They both protested.
football," Johnny explained.
"Then Johnny, you check the bathroom and make sure they did
a good job," ordered Hank. He stopped when they walked into
the living room of the DeSoto house. Sofa cushions were strewn
the floor, and toys were scattered around. Hank looked sternly at
the kids. "Your job, is to clean this mess up."
"But we didnt do it!" Damien protested.
"I dont care, youre gonna clean it,"
Hank said. "Chris wheres your mom keep the vacuum?"
"It's in the closet," Chris pointed to a small closet
off of the entry.
"Good, after Chris is done picking up the toys, you're going
to vacuum the rugs." Damien crossed his arms, defiantly
stating.
"I'm not cleaning anything!"
"I got this one, Cap," Johnny grinned evilly. "You dont have to clean anything Damien, cause this corner was just waiting for you." He took Damien by the arm and placed him in the corner away from everyone.
~*~
Roy and Joanne pulled into their driveway. "I wonder what Caps doing here?" Roy asked. They got out of the car and went into the house. As they stepped in the front door, they were greeted with a spotless looking living room. Both parents stared unbelievably at the clean room. They slowly stepped into the house looking for the others. They heard giggling from the kitchen, following the noise they went into the kitchen to see the three adults and four children all sitting around the table talking about the strange things that happened to them. Johnny was thrilling them with a story about how he had almost fallen from a bridge, when the patient he was taking care of had a seizure and if he hadnt had a rope tied around him, he would have died. Chet was beginning his tale of the ice skating rink, when he saw the couple standing in the doorway.
"I cant believe it," Joanne said. "The house looks incredible."
"Thank you," everyone chorused. There was a knock at the front door. Roy went to answer it.
"Come on in," he said. He led Diana into the kitchen. Damien jumped up and ran into his mothers arms. Johnny stood, stepped over, and gave her a kiss on the lips.
"Wow, youre home early," Johnny said.
"I got there and mom was doing fine, daddy sometimes panics when it comes to her and her health. It really wasnt anything that I needed to go home about. He apologized and told me to come home." Johnny inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. He didnt have to watch this kid any more.
"Aw mom, and we were about to start our slumber party too," Damien said. Johnny cringed. He wanted to go home to his own bed now that she was home, and was able to take her son with her.
"Wow, a slumber party, sounds like fun. Mind if I crash your party?"
"Sure, the more the merrier," Joanne told her.
"Ive got my pjs in the car. This is going to be
a blast! Do you have smores?"
"What?" Johnny asked.
"Its not a slumber party without smores, popcorn, and pizza."
"And pillow fights!" Chet chimed in.
"Definitely. Oh and you have to at least play truth or dare."
"Well leave the slumber party to you young kids." Hank stood and started for the front door.
"See you at work, Cap," Roy followed his guest.
"Good luck, Roy, youre gonna need it," Hank said, patting Roys shoulder.
"Thanks Cap. I think." Roy closed the door behind his captain, and listened to the discussion going on in the kitchen. "Im gonna need all the luck I can get."
THE END