For The Life of A Child
By
Author's note: This is a main character death story…although it didn't start out that way Thanks to Laura for all of her help and ideas
All EMERGENCY! Characters belong to MARK VII LIMITED but any and all OC's (Original Characters) belong to me and can not be used without my permission
** Denotes thought **
****** ****** ******
After dropping off their patient at Rampart and heading back to the Station, Johnny said, "Hey Roy, let's stop at that little store on the way back, I wanna get somethin' to eat."
Looking over at Johnny, Roy said, "Junior, when we get back, lunch should be ready. Can't you wait?"
"No Pally, I can't, I'm starvin' here. What'cha tryin' to do, make me die of malnutrition by not lettin' me eat?”
“Well…”
Not letting his partner finish, Johnny said, “And besides, you know how slow Chet is, it could be…midnight…before we get anything ta' eat...not to mention how bad his cookin' is. Come on, it'll only take a minute and I won't get much."
"Johnny, it won't take ‘im till midnight…and you're not gonna starve."
"I might. Come on Roy , what's the harm?" Johnny whined.
** Oh that whine of his…and he's always rantin' and ravin' about somethin'…now it's Chet's cookin' **
Seeing the sad puppy dog eyes of his partner, begging to get something to eat before he starved, Roy gave in.
"Oh okay...we'll stop."
With a big grin on his face, Johnny said, "Thanks Pally."
Pulling up in front of the store and shutting off the engine, Roy looked at his partner, and said, "Make it quick Junior. And here, take the handi talki with ya in case we get a run."
"Oh, okay. And I will, don't worry...I'll be back in a flash. Oh, you want anything…wanna go in with me?"
** Yeah, I bet'cha will…back in a flash...not **
"No, I'll stay here and I can wait, I don't want nothin'...but thanks anyway."
"Okay, suit yourself. Be right back."
Putting the strap on the handi talki around his wrist and holding the HT in his hand, Johnny got out of the Squad and made his way into the store, quickly heading to the snack isle, looking for something to eat. Finding a bag of chips and a bottle of soda, he made his way to the front of the store to pay for the items.
As he reached the counter and started paying, he noticed two young men enter the store, but thought nothing of it…until, out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of them step up beside him and just stand there and smile...he couldn't put his finger on it, but something about it gave Johnny the creeps.
"Hi, how are ya?" Johnny asked, looking at the man.
** Oh, somethin' doesn't feel right about this **
The man didn't answer, he just kept smiling as he nodded his head. As the cashier gave Johnny his change and told him to have a good day, the paramedic put the money in his pocket, picked up the small bag and turned to see a gun pointed at him.
Speaking softly, the man said, "If you value your kidney...not to mention your life, step back away from the counter and don't do anything stupid. Put that stuff down."
Johnny did as he was told, setting the items on the counter, putting his hands up and backing away.
"Alright, just take it easy. There's other people in here, nobody needs to get hurt."
Seeing that the cashier was going for the silent alarm, he pointed the gun in her direction, and said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."
Johnny looked at her, shook his head, and said, "No don't...don't do anything...just back away and come here. I'm a Firefighter/paramedic and everything is gonna be okay, just come over here with me."
As the frightened cashier went over and stood beside Johnny, the paramedic put his arm around her, and softly asked, "What's your name?"
"Mon…Monica."
"Okay Monica, I'm Johnny...just calm down and relax…everything'll be fine. Just do what this guy says."
"Listen to him Monica, he sounds as if he has some smarts. Now move...everybody to the back of the store...this is a stick up!"
The next few moments were chaos, as the two men, one of which waved a gun around, forced the frightened customers to the back of the store and into a back room. He saw a small child, who was with her mother, crying...the girl's mother was trying to keep the scared child quiet.
"Shut the kid up now!" Clyde yelled.
As Glen pushed everyone into the room, he turned and said, " Clyde , get back up front and open the register...take sweet little Monica with ya."
"Gladly. Let's go Monica baby, you're gonna go with me and open up the register."
Clyde reached out and grabbed her roughly by the arm...being scared, she started to fight him.
"No...leave me alone...don't, I'm not going with you!"
As Clyde pointed the gun at her, Johnny intervened and said, "No don't! She's just scared man, you don't have to hurt 'er. Monica, listen to me...all they want is tha' money, so don't do anything ta' tick these guys off...just do what he says, you're gonna be okay."
"But I'm scared Johnny. What if...?"
Shaking his head, Johnny quietly said, "No, don't go there, don't even think that. Just go with him and give him tha' money. The quicker you do, the faster this is all gonna be over with…and they'll be gone."
** I hope…but I kinda doubt it **
Roughly grabbing her again, Monica cried out, and said, "Stop, my shoulder…you're hurtin' me!"
Placing his hand on Clyde 's arm, Johnny said, "Hey man, there isn't any need for that...she's gonna go with you."
Clyde let go of Monica and aimed the gun at Johnny as he roughly pushed him up against the wall, causing the paramedic's head to connect hard with it.
"Stay outta this fireboy...'cause I won't hesitate a second to blow you away right now."
Glen knew his little brother had a temper, but his plans were that no one was to get hurt... they'd come in, rob the store and lock anybody that was inside in the back room as they made their get away...but this fireman, who decided to be a hero, was about to mess all of that up.
Stepping over to Clyde and Johnny, Glen said, "Okay Clyde, knock it off. Go get the money then get back here...and lock the door and cut the lights out before you come back."
Clyde kept the gun aimed at Johnny, as he said, "Come on Glen, let me kill 'im first...please let me."
Johnny was scared and felt his head pounding. Breathing hard, he saw Glen place his hand on Clyde 's arm, and heard him softly speak.
"That's not what we came here to do little brother...we don't kill anybody, at least, not unless we * absolutely * have to…and just now, we don't * have * to. Forget about him and just take the girl and go bring the money...go."
Clyde reluctantly let go of Johnny, as he roughly shoved the paramedic to the floor, grabbing Monica and taking her to the front of the store...the paramedic lay on the floor, holding his pounding head
******
Back outside in the Squad, Roy kept looking at his watch and at the door, wondering what was taking his partner so long.
"Be back in a flash, huh partner...you're probably flirtin' with a pretty girl. I'm givin' you five more minutes and then I'm comin' in after ya."
Looking at his watch, Roy saw that it was 11:55...at 12:00 noon, he was going in after his best friend.
******
As Clyde and Monica came back to join the others, he said, "Okay Glen, the door's locked, the lights are out and the register's cleaned out…we got quite a bit. But...but I saw a red truck in the parkin' lot...some guy was in it, kept lookin' this way and then lookin' at his watch."
Johnny, who was now leaning back against the wall, heard this and quickly looked up, but didn't say anything
"Who's out in the truck fireboy?" Glen asked, looking at Johnny.
Johnny softly answered, and said, "He's waitin' on me…that's my partner, we're firefighter/paramedics with the County Fire Department . He has a family so just leave him outta this."
Johnny suddenly saw a gun back in his face as Clyde once again pointed it at him...by this time Johnny was becoming more ticked off than scared.
“Leave ‘im out of this…maybe we don't wanna leave him out of this…maybe he needs to come in and join the party, whatd'ya say.”
Looking down the barrel of the gun, Johnny angrily said, "First off I say, you do anything to my partner, you'll deal with me…second, I say you need to watch where you point that gun…there is a child in here."
Before Clyde could say anything or react, the radio that Johnny was carrying came to life; causing not only the paramedic to be startled, but everyone else as well, as they listened to the transmission.
"Squad 51, LA."
"Squad 51."
"Squad 51, what is your status?"
** Uh oh, this isn't gonna be good...I bet Roy could kill me right about now **
"LA, Squad 51 available."
** Available...jeez Pally why'd you go and say that…man, all of a sudden I don't feel so good **
"10-4 51, stand by for response."
The sound of the call coming over the HT brought Johnny out of his thoughts.
"Squad 51, unknown type rescue, corner of Harper Avenue and Ortega...Harper Avenue and Ortega, cross street, Marlin...timeout 11:59."
"Squad 51 10-4."
Roy knew, that since Johnny had the HT with him, that he would hear the call and quickly come out to the Squad...after a moment and not seeing his partner exiting the store, he knew something was wrong.
** Junior, what's goin' on in there **
"HT 51, Squad 51...Johnny, come on, we got a run."
"Don't even think of answerin' it." Clyde said.
Feeling a bit dizzy, Johnny said, "If I * don't * answer it, he's gonna know…know somethin's wrong and…he'll call somebody...like the cops."
** Well, maybe not the cops...but he would call dispatch...then * Sam * would call the cops **
Hearing this worried the two robbers, but Clyde said, "You're bluffin'...your partner won't call the cops."
"You wanna bet your life on it that I am…and that he won't…don't think I would." Johnny calmly replied.
Walking over to where the other frightened customers were seated on the floor, Clyde just stood, looking at them, as he slowly moved the gun in front of each of them. Finally pointing it at the Mother and her young frightened daughter, Clyde grabbed the child by the arm and jerked her up...even though his head was pounding, Johnny was immediately on his feet.
"You wanna bet yours...or better yet, this kid's? If your partner calls * anybody * I kill the kid."
The Mother reached up, trying to pull her daughter back to her, but Glen pushed her back down on the floor.
"Please don't hurt her...she's scared...please, please don't." the mother begged.
Johnny'd had enough of this guy...moving toward Clyde , the paramedic suddenly saw as the gun was taken off the little girl and was now being pointed back at him.
** Well…better me than that little girl **
Trying to stay calm, and clear his vision, Johnny said, "Ya know…only a coward would kill a kid...or do anything to a…a child for that matter…so why don't you leave her alone, pick on somebody your own size...if you're man enough."
Sticking the gun in Johnny's stomach, Clyde said, "Well fireboy...you look to be about my size. Come on man, you wanna take me on? I promise ya, if you do, you're gonna lose."
Afraid that somebody would get hurt, Johnny slowly raised his hands, and said, "Look...just calm down, nobody needs to get hurt. Man, you have what'cha came for…so why don't'cha just go on and leave now, split out the back so my partner won't see ya…go while you have the chance and before somebody * does * get hurt."
Suddenly the handi talki again came to life, causing Johnny to jump.
** Man, I wish he wouldn't do that…I also wish the room would quit spinnin' **
"HT 51, Squad 51...Johnny, come on."
"Don't answer it." Clyde warned.
After a moment of not seeing his partner come out nor getting a response from Johnny, the paramedic and the others inside the store heard another transmission...one that would prove costly.
"LA, Squad 51."
"Squad 51."
** Oh Pally, please just tell dispatch that somethin' came up and we aren't available...a flat tire, engine trouble, anything but what's really goin' on **
"LA, we're at the Quick Mart on 1805 Beaverton Boulevard ...my partner went inside for a few minutes but hasn't come back and I haven't been able to raise him...he has the HT with him so I know he heard the call. I don't know what the problem is but can you respond another Squad to that location?"
** Oh, this is goin' downhill fast **
The dispatcher's voice was once again heard.
"10-4 51. Squad 45 please respond to 51's call...unknown type rescue, corner of Harper Avenue and Ortega...Harper Avenue and Ortega, cross street, Marlin...timeout 12:02.”
“Squad 45 10-4, KMG745.”
“Squad 51, what is your status?"
Roy was at a loss, he didn't really know what was going on inside the store and knowing that his best friend had the HT, he didn't know quite what to say, however, he knew that he didn't have to be a genius to know that something wasn't quite right.
While Roy pondered what to tell dispatch, Johnny and the other hostages held their collective breaths...unsure of what would be heard next on the radio.
"Uh...LA...we...uh...there may be a problem...of some kind...I'm not really sure...uh ...Squad 51 is...is not available."
"10-4 Squad 51."
The dispatcher on the other end heard Roy 's ragged transmission and knew that the paramedic was usually very calm.
Taking the chance, Sam asked, "51, LA...do you need Police assistance at your location?"
Johnny and the others waited to hear what Roy 's response would be. Johnny especially knew the consequences of his partner calling for Police assistance, as he felt the gun being pushed against his abdomen.
"LA...affirmative on the Police assistance."
"10-4 51."
While Roy replaced the microphone back in its holder, he contemplated whether he should at least approach the store's entrance.
Back inside, Johnny's heart fell when he heard Roy 's affirmative response about Police assistance.
** Oh partner...you don't know what you've just done **
But deep down, Johnny knew that his best friend really had no other choice.
"Well, I told'cha what was gonna happen if he called anybody...just remember, you can blame your partner for this...it's his fault." Clyde said.
Clyde grabbed the child, pointing the gun at her...seeing this, Johnny roughly pushed Clyde backwards causing him to loose his grip on the little girl. The paramedic quickly placed the child back in her mother's arms and tried to shield both of them.
"Just leave her alone, she's just a kid!" Johnny shouted.
Regaining he balance and pointing the gun at Johnny, Clyde said, “Get outta the way …now.”
Refusing to move, Johnny replied, “No way, I'm not movin'…I'm not gonna let'cha hurt that little girl just because she's scared…and I really don't think you're dumb enough to want to face a murder charge.”
"Guess I was wrong…you * aren't * too smart, are ya. Fine by me, have it your way."
Roy suddenly heard two loud shots coming from inside the store
** Now I know why Johnny didn't answer the HT or come out of the store...he couldn't **
"HT 51, this is Squad 51, Johnny, is everything okay in there…what's goin' on? Johnny, answer me."
Roy waited and prayed for an answer, hoping to hear Johnny's voice on the radio. Not hearing anything, Roy tried again.
"Johnny...come in....talk to me partner. What's going on in there?"
With still no answer coming over the radio, Roy started to feel an overwhelming sense of panic, but knew that he'd have to remain calm if Johnny and any others in the store, had a chance of walking out of there alive.
******
Johnny felt as the bullets tore through his abdomen and for a moment, he was stunned when he looked down at his hand and saw the blood on it.
** What's the harm in stoppin'…I had to ask **
As he breathed hard and numbly looked around the room, he could hear the silence of the shocked people sitting on the floor, and as his legs could no longer hold him up, he fell to the floor, unconscious.
As soon as the paramedic hit the floor, the scared little girl screamed… Clyde started to go toward her, but Glen stopped him. Going over to where the frightened child was sitting, wrapped in her Mother's arms, Glen knelt down in front of the child, and softly spoke to her.
"What's your name?"
Slowly looking up and wiping away her tears, she softly answered, and said, "Ash...Ashley ...Ashley Dotson. Can we go...go home please...I'm scared...and you hurt that...that nice man."
After first looking over at the unconscious paramedic, Glen looked back at Ashley, and said, "Well, you don't have to be scared, we aren't gonna hurt you unless you make us. And as for him, it wasn't me who hurt ‘im, it was my brother…Johnnyboy just made him mad."
Standing, Glen looked around the room, and said, "Let what happen to him be a lesson to the rest of you...if you wanna make it outta here alive, don't be a hero...do what you're told, don't give us any trouble and you won't get hurt."
The HT that was lying beside Johnny came to life again... Clyde and Glen heard the nervousness in the man's voice as he made the transmission.
"LA, Squad 51, shots fired at our location, possible hostage situation. Where's my help?"
"Squad 51, assistance is two minutes away."
"10-4 LA."
Roy hung the mic back in its place...he was scared that, if someone had been injured, that it was his best friend and partner.
** Two minutes, it may as well be twenty…oh Junior, I hope you're okay **
Back inside, Glen and Clyde heard the transmission as Clyde became worried.
"Glen, man, he called the cops...fireboy wasn't bluffin'…his partner called the cops!"
Clyde 's shouting startled not only the hostages that he and his brother held, but the injured paramedic as well, as Johnny was beginning to regain consciousness.
"H...help me... Roy ...it hurts what...what happened...?"
Glen walked over to Johnny, and stood over him, and said, "Your friend can't help ya now...and because of what he did...* everybody * is gonna die."
Reaching down and jerking the handi talki from around Johnny's wrist, Glen kicked the young man hard in the ribs with his foot to bring the injured paramedic back to awareness before speaking to him.
"No...no don't...please..."
"How are the two of you identified?" Glen asked.
For a moment, Johnny's brain didn't register what was being asked of him...the only thing that was registering to him at the moment was how badly he hurt and how much blood he knew he was losing,
** Why is it always me that this stuff happens to...should'a listened to Roy ...gone back to the Station and ate some of Chet's terrible cookin' **
When Glen didn't get a response, he kicked Johnny again, only harder, causing the young man to go into a coughing spasm.
"How…how do they identify you? Don't make me ask ya again…cause if I do, it isn't gonna be pleasant for you." Glen yelled.
Finally being able to stop coughing and catch his breath somewhat, Johnny softly answered, and said, "Stop…please…its squad...Squad...51..."
Bringing the HT up to his mouth and pressing the button, Glen said, "Squad 51."
Hearing the voice, Roy knew that it didn't belong to Johnny or the dispatcher...and the evil and angry tone made chills run up his spine.
Not getting an answer, Glen said, "Squad 51...answer me...or else."
Unknown to Roy , back inside Glen was pointing his gun at Johnny's head…and ready to pull the trigger.
Nervously, Roy said, "LA, Squad 51...please request radio silence or have other units switch to a different frequency...we have a hostage situation here."
"10-4 Squad 51. All units, give radio silence or switch to frequency 2...Squad 51 has a hostage situation at their location. All clear 51, go ahead with the transmission."
When Roy heard that it was clear, he answered, and said, "HT 51 this is Squad 51, go ahead."
In the same tone of voice, Glen said, " Roy …it is Roy , isn't it? Roy , I just wanted to inform you that the shots, that I'm sure you heard, were aimed at your partner here...and they hit their target...amazingly well I might add, and he's lyin' here in some major pain…and he's bleedin' to death...that must be an awfully painful way to go."
Frightened for his best friend and partner, Roy quietly asked, "My partner needs a hospital, what do you want and are there any other hostages inside and are they okay?"
Before Roy finished his sentence, the sound of Police sirens could be heard as Vince pulled up beside the Squad...the older paramedic knew that the man he was talking to heard it.
"The others are okay...for now, but your partner isn't. And what I want...first off, the cop who just arrived...he's to leave, now. Second, safe passage for me and my brother outta here...then you can help your friend."
Before Roy answered, he looked at Vince, who shook his head no, and said, "I'm not leavin'."
Thinking fast, Roy pressed the button, and said, "He can't do that...he...he's gonna help get the two of you out of here safely. Now please, let me talk to my partner."
Glen held the HT to Johnny's mouth, and said, "Here fireboy, talk to your partner."
"Johnny...Johnny, can you hear me...are you all right?"
Breathing hard, Johnny softly said, "Roy...help me...hurts...I can't...can't breathe... help... blood...so much...blood...don't feel…too good and…I'm cold…gettin'…cold…"
Roy could hear the distress that his best friend was in and how scared he sounded. He tried to keep his own voice calm, as he quietly spoke to his partner.
"Johnny...listen to me...just stay as calm as you can and take slow breaths, you're gonna be okay. We'll get'cha out and get'cha to Rampart as soon as we can...okay."
"Yeah...yeah okay...just hurry...get tha' others...get 'em...out...little girl...had ta' save... little...girl..."
"I will Junior, I promise. But what are you talkin' about...what little girl...Johnny...Johnny, answer me."
When Roy didn't receive and answer, he looked at Vince, threw the mic in the seat and started toward the store.
Quickly stopping the scared paramedic, Vince said, " Roy , what do you think you're doin'...you're not goin' in there, so just forget it. There's more back up on the way."
"But Vince, Johnny could be dead…I can't just..."
Before Roy could finish his thought, he and Vince heard Glen calling him over the radio.
" Roy ...oh Roy ...are you still there? Don't disappoint your partner by tryin' somethin' stupid."
Hearing this and hurrying back to the Squad, Roy picked up the mic, and said, "Yeah...yeah I'm still here. Please, let me get my partner to the hospital...he may die if I don't."
Becoming upset, Glen said, "Now Roy, I already told you the conditions on helpin' your partner, so if he dies or lives is up to the two of you out there. But since you and your cop friend are, for some reason, havin' such a hard time makin' up your minds, let me give the two of you a bigger incentive to keep your friend in here alive."
After a moment of silence, Roy and Vince heard another gun shot.
******
While the drama was unfolding at the convenience store, the rest of 51's crew was getting ready for lunch. The morning had turned out to be very light for the Engine crew, so they were very relaxed. But with one phone call, that would all change.
When the phone rang, Stoker answered it.
"LA County Fire Department , Firefighter Stoker."
When Mike heard the voice on the other end, the hair on the back of his neck stood up.
Hank looked at Stoker with concern, as he asked, "Who's on the phone pal?"
In his typical soft-spoken manner, Stoker answered his Captain, and said, "It's Chief Hauts, he wants to talk to you Cap."
“I'll get it in the office.”
Hank stood up and walked back to his office…it wasn't usually a good thing when the Department Chief called your station. After about five minutes, Hank walked back to rejoin the rest of his crew in the kitchen.
Noticing the somber look on his Captain's face, Chet was the first one to speak up.
"Cap…what'd the Chief want?"
"Uh...he called… Roy and John stopped at a convenience store on the way back from that last run…Johnny went in and…the store was held up. There's...there's a hostage situation... that's all I know."
The rest of the crew became silent and their faces became very serious at the thought of two of their close friends being involved in a hostage situation.
"But Johnny....he is okay, right?"
"Chet I know you're worried, we all are...but that's as much as I know. The Chief said that Roy 's the one who called dispatch, so I assume he's still outside. And...before you guys even ask...no...we can't go there...we need to stay outta the way, the Police don't want anyone there that doesn't need to be there, they don't want anyone gettin' in the way.
“But Cap, that's our guys…our friends…we * need * to be there…to help.”
Chet and Mike agreed with Marco.
“Look, I don't like it any better than you guys, but there wouldn't be anything that we could do…not this time. We've been stood down for the duration of this...situation."
After Hank addressed his men, there was a somber silence in the room. The men knew they could only wait until they heard back from the Chief, and in the mean time they could only hope and pray that everything would be okay.
******
Back inside the store, Glen pointed to one of the hostages and Clyde gladly shot the man. Seeing this, Johnny painfully and slowly pulled himself over to the unconscious man, and looking at his wound, he knew the man was already dead. He checked for a pulse anyway… finding none.
Looking up at the two robbers, Johnny softly but angrily said, "You...you killed 'im...for no...no reason...you murdered this...this man...why..."
Leaning down toward Johnny, Glen said, "To let the cop and your friend outside know that we mean business. The sooner the cop leaves and we can get out of here, the sooner * you * can get medical help…of course, ain't no kinda help gonna do * him * any good…and the quicker this will all be over with." Clyde said.
** Yeah right...you two aren't gonna let any of us outta here alive...Pally...I can't breathe **
Getting back on the handi talki, Glen said, "May that sound you heard help you make up your minds. Every five minutes, another hostage will be chosen and shot until we can get out. I will give you no warning…so decide fast."
Hearing that last statement, Roy and Vince looked worriedly at each other.
"Calm down Roy, more help is on the way."
"But...but you heard the man...no more Police. We can't take the chance that...that any more of those people in there will be shot."
" Roy ...if the Police don't get involved...this thing'll never end. I promise you that everything will be okay. Now, I just want you to sit here quietly and calmly. Can you do that for me?"
Roy knew that he had no other choice, but he felt helpless sitting there in the squad doing nothing.
"Yeah...yeah. It's just that...Johnny...Johnny sounds like he's hurt pretty badly."
"I know Roy ...I'm worried too. Sit tight, they're here."
Vince left the squad when he heard other vehicles pull up near by. He didn't want the robbers to get more agitated at hearing the additional sirens, so he made sure to tell them to roll in non-code R.
Talking to his superior officer, Captain Mike Davis, Vince relayed the current situation. He introduced Roy to him and mentioned how the paramedics got involved, the gunshots that were fired, Johnny being injured, that someone else had already been shot and the threat of additional hostages being shot if the Police didn't leave.
Captain Davis decided that the first order of business would be for him to make contact with the robbers and see if any kind of agreement could be reached.
"Let me talk to them."
"My...my partner's got our HT inside with him. That's how they've been communicatin' with us...HT 51. You'll have to use the radio here in the Squad."
"Okay, let's try it. HT 51, come in please."
Hearing a different voice on the radio, Glen's demeanor changed…the hostages weren't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Captain Davis waited for a response.
"Well, hello there...glad someone could…finally…get back to me."
"Who am I speaking to?"
Glen laughed almost mockingly, and said, "Oh no you don't...I'm not tellin' you anything. Who the hell are you?"
"I'm Captain Davis of the LAPD. What is it that you want?"
"What do I want? I already told the two idiots out there with you what I want…but I'll repeat myself one last time…I want safe passage outta here for me and my brother, and if I don't get it I'll randomly shoot someone else, so things better start movin' a little faster around here."
"Okay...just take it easy. The man you shot...how is he doing?"
Glen laughed again, as he replied, "You mean...the * two * men I shot...just to show you that I mean business. The paramedic…he's not in great shape and he seems to be fadin' fast…the other man…he's dead. So what's the story...are you gonna get me outta here, or am I gonna start shootin' more of these people?"
"We'll get you outta there."
"You better...or I'm gonna finish everybody off…startin' with that fireman's partner in here...he's gonna be history."
Glen got off the radio leaving Captain Davis, Vince and Roy to ponder the current situation.
"Well...we know there's one injured, your partner and now, one dead…it's now murder, not just attempted robbery. I know you're worried about your partner Roy...but we're going to do our best to get all of them out safely. I guess it's time to call in the big boys."
Captain Davis left the squad to go back to his own vehicle to make the additional calls.
In a panic, Roy turned to Vince, and asked, "Vince…wait…what does he mean...by the big boys?"
"He means the hostage negotiating team and...the SWAT TEAM. They'll get 'em out Roy ."
Shouting, Roy said, “What's wrong with you all…didn't you hear him…the man said no more cops…I don't want my best friend, or any more of those people in there dead!”
Trying to stay calm and calm Roy down, Vince replied, “This is how it has to be done…they upped it to murder when they killed the one hostage. There's nothin' I can do Roy , I'm sorry man.”
When the negotiators arrived on scene and were brought up to speed, things started happening all at once.
As the minutes ticked by, Roy could only sit in the squad and wait...and wonder about what kind of condition his partner was in. After hearing all of the gunshots that had been fired, his mind was imagining the gruesome scene that lay inside the store.
It had been over fifteen minutes since he last talked to Johnny and Roy knew how seriously injured the downed paramedic was, just based on how badly he had sounded on the radio. With all the time that had passed since Johnny's last transmission, Roy knew that his partner's chance of survival was decreasing by the minute.
As soon as the swat team stormed the building and Roy and the other paramedics finally got the all-clear sign to go into the store, before Roy entered the building, he saw two men that were being led out in handcuffs and saw that they were both bleeding and limping badly, but their injuries appeared to be relatively minor.
** So, I guess you're the two that hurt my partner…how did you two get so lucky that you're * walkin' * outta here…but you * are * lucky that the cops have ya cause if I did, I'd tear you apart **
Carrying the gear and hurrying inside, and doing a quick survey of the scene told Roy the horrible story, one of terror and heartbreak.
Seeing his best friend sprawled on the floor, Roy rushed over to him while the other paramedics took care of the other wounded...and dead. Roy was shocked at the pool of blood that Johnny was lying in.
Turning his best friend over onto his back, Roy said, "Johnny...Johnny...I'm here partner."
As he took Johnny's pulse he held his breath, not only hoping and praying that there would be one there, but also hoping for some sort of response to show him that his best friend was still with him. He exhaled slowly, relieved that Johnny had a pulse...as weak as it was.
As Ashley and her Mother were being lead out of the building, the little girl broke free from her Mother and ran over to where Johnny was lying on the floor.
Softly speaking, she looked at Roy , and asked, "Mister...is he gonna be okay?"
Looking into her eyes, Roy quietly said, "I really don't know honey, he's hurt pretty bad... but the Doctors are gonna do everything they can for him. What's your name and I'll…I'll tell 'im that you asked about 'im."
** If he regains consciousness that is **
"Just tell Johnny that Ashley, the little girl he saved, asked about 'im."
** The little girl he saved...oh Junior, that's what you were talkin' about…you took a bullet for her **
"Hey...will you tell him?"
Hearing Ashley speaking to him brought Roy out of his thoughts.
"Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart. Ashley...okay, I'll be sure to tell him. You go on with your Mom."
As Ashley and her Mother started to walk away, Mrs. Dotson softly said, "I'm Barbara Dotson, Ashley's mother...please let your partner know how grateful * I * am for what he did...he really * did * save Ashley's life and...and he didn't have to do it."
"Yeah, he did...that's just my partner. But I'll tell him." Roy softly replied.
Roy started working on his partner and as he put the BP cuff on Johnny's arm, the injured paramedic started to regain consciousness.
Johnny tried to talk, but was immediately quieted down by his partner.
“Roy… Roy , what…”
"Johnny, take it easy...you need to save your strength. I'm gonna take good care of ya."
Johnny tried to talk again to his partner.
" Roy ...the...the girl...how..."
"She's fine Junior, I talked to her myself just a minute ago. She's with her Mom and both of them are safe…and she said...she said to tell you that she was askin' about ya."
Roy tried to put the oxygen mask on Johnny's face, but Johnny weakly batted it away.
“Johnny, you need this.”
The paramedic was having an increasingly difficult time breathing, as he said, "Roy... Roy ... it...it was worth it...you know...to...to...save her life...she...she has...so much more...to live for...and...and I'd do...do it a...again...I don't feel…feel good…I can't…can't…breathe…"
Seeing that his best friend had lost consciousness, Roy numbly nodded his head, and softly replied, "I know Junior...I know."
After Roy quickly set up the biophone, he opened up the drug box, readying what he knew he would need to help his partner.
“Hang on Junior…please, hang on.” Roy softly said to his friend.
“Rampart, this is Squad 51, how do you read?”
Brackett's voice came over the biophone, and said, “This is Rampart, go ahead 51, we read you loud and clear.”
“Rampart, we…I…I have a male patient, 31 years of age, he has two gunshot wounds to the abdomen and they appear to be at close range…there is a substantial amount of blood loss, along with decreased breath sounds along with broken ribs, all on the left side…I'm controlling the bleeding as much as I can. Be advised that the victim is Johnny and he is unconscious…stand by for vitals.”
“Standing by 51.”
Roy could hear the worry in the Doctor's voice as he answered…but his own worry outmatched that of Doctor Brackett. Finishing up with the vitals, Roy quickly got back on the line with Rampart.
“Rampart, Squad 51.”
“Go ahead 51.”
“Vital signs are…B/P is 90/60, pulse is 130 and respirations are 14 but extremely labored…I have him on O2 at this time, but he's still struggling to breathe.”
“10-4 51, have an esophageal airway ready in case you need it…if you do go ahead and insert it, if not keep Johnny on the O2, start two IV's with Ringers, keep controlling the bleeding and get ‘im in here stat.”
“10-4 Rampart.”
Roy carried out the treatment orders and once Johnny was ready for transport, his weak and bloodied body was lifted onto the gurney and following alongside, Roy never left his partner's side. Getting into the ambulance, the doors were closed and the ambulance sped off...destination, Rampart General Hospital .
The ride would only take 15 minutes, but to Roy it would take a lifetime. Two minutes into the trip, as Roy was taking his best friend's blood pressure, Johnny regained consciousness. Looking down at his partner, Roy knew that Johnny was trying to speak and despite knowing how much Johnny needed the oxygen, Roy took the mask off of his face so he could hear what his partner was trying to say...afraid that it might be the last words that he'd ever hear coming from his best friend's mouth.
The paramedic's voice was weak and barely above a whisper, as he said, "Roy... Roy ..."
"I'm here partner...I'm here."
" Roy ...I made tha'...tha' guy...mad...was gonna…take it out…on the kid…had to…stop ‘im …but it...it...it really was...worth it...savin' the...the girl and...and all...I wouldn't have... wanted...wanted to see her...in heaven...not...not now... the angels...they're...smilin' at me...I see 'em...pretty gold hair...like...like Jenny's...Roy..."
The paramedic started to cough and wheeze, breathing, let alone speaking, was getting increasingly difficult.
"Johnny, stop talkin' now and rest. We'll be at the hospital in a few minutes."
"Roy... Roy ...there's no...no time left...I know...everything...everything was...was worth it...give...give everyone…my...my love...bright light is...is shinin'...they're....callin'…me..."
Roy was scared that Johnny would die in the ambulance. He urged his friend to hang on a just a few minutes longer.
"Johnny...listen to me partner...you're not gonna leave me...you're not goin' * anywhere *. We're almost to Rampart...Doctor Brackett will fix you up good as new, and...and tomorrow ...tomorrow we'll be laughin' about all this...about how you can't just...just stop for a snack without havin' the...the whole damn SWAT Team called in. Just hang on Johnny."
Sadly, there was no response from the injured paramedic, as Johnny slowly closed his eyes and again lost consciousness.
Quickly retaking Johnny's vitals, Roy knew that his partner was quickly losing the battle. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the ambulance had arrived at Rampart and as the gurney carrying the injured paramedic quickly made its way down the hall, everyone got out of the way.
Doctor Brackett stepped up beside the gurney, and as they continued down the hall, Kel said, "Treatment 5. Dix, get his vitals, Joe, call the blood bank and get some AB negative blood down here and call and have them to have an OR ready."
Each one doing as they were asked, Dixie immediately started taking Johnny's vitals as Joe called the blood bank and the OR…Roy only stood quietly to the side and stayed out of the way…he didn't want to be ushered out of the room.
"Kel, B/P is 70/40, pulse is 140 and respirations are 6, diminished lungs sounds on the left."
"Thanks Dix, get another IV of Ringers goin'. I'll get him intubated."
Dixie nodded her head and went and retrieved the needed items, coming back to the table and starting the IV.
Hanging up the phone, Joe said, "Kel, the blood's on the way but due to that pile up on the 405 this morning, there aren't any OR's available...we'll have to operate on Johnny down here."
Turning back to look at his injured and unconscious friend, Kel saw how Johnny was bleeding to death right before their eyes.
"Let's do it...or we're gonna lose 'im."
** See Junior, I told'cha Brackett would fix you up as good as new…just fight this Johnny **
Dixie turned to see that Roy was still standing there, watching, as they took care of his best friend.
“Roy, Johnny needs surgery…so you have to go to the lounge now…we'll do everything we can for him.” Dixie softly said.
Roy knew that now wasn't the time to argue, as he had always done in the past…his partner needed, what he hope would be, life saving surgery and he wasn't about to stand in the way of that or waste time that he knew his best friend didn't have.
Quickly agreeing, Roy said, “Yeah…yeah ok…just…just take good care of ‘im Doc… please.”
Brackett looked at Roy , and said, “We will Roy …we'll do our very best for him.”
As Roy was leaving the treatment room, he took one last glance at his partner...not knowing if he'd ever see him alive again. He slowly made his way down to the lounge.
******
As the time slowly passed, the guys grew more worried. They tried to keep busy, but nothing could help take their minds off of what was going on in that store. The phone finally * did * ring, startling them and after Hank got off the phone, the rest of the crew knew by looking at his face and body language that the news wasn't very good.
"Cap?" the three firefighters questioned in unison.
Hank swallowed hard a few times before answering his men.
"Johnny was…he's been shot...we...we need to get to Rampart right away. He's undergoing emergency surgery now."
"What about Roy ?" asked Marco.
"Uh... Roy 's fine. He's...he's the one who was taking care of Johnny."
"How bad Cap?"
"I don't know Mike but the...the Chief didn't sound very positive on the phone. So...I....I don't know."
Chet quickly spoke up, and said, “Well, the Chief doesn't know Gage the way * we * do… that's why he didn't sound positive about it but…but we know better, right guys…Gage is gonna be okay…right.”
The guys shook their heads, as Cap, trying to sound hopeful and convincing said, “Ah yeah…yeah he is…Johnny's gonna be fine. Well, let's get goin'.”
"Are we gonna take the Engine Cap?"
"No...we'll...we'll take my car Mike. The Chief called in the guys on B-shift and until they get here, another Station'll cover our area. Let's go."
The men locked up the station and went out back to Hank's car. The trip to Rampart was made in silence. Arriving at the hospital, they were met by Doctor Morton who could only tell them to wait in the lounge for word on Johnny's condition. As they entered the lounge, the saw a very subdued Roy .
******
After working for over two hours on the critically wounded paramedic, Johnny was moved immediately into ICU for round the clock care…Kel and Joe knew their friend was extremely critical and it would be touch and go for quite a while.
Standing, looking at their friend, Kel said, “You know Joe, I don't mean to be negative, but I'm surprised Johnny even made it through surgery.”
“So am I, but Johnny always has a way of surprising us…and this time, I'm glad he did. Let's go let the rest of the guys know how he's doing.”
“Aren't we all.” Dixie added.
The two Doctors and Dixie went and got on the elevator to go to the lounge to give a report to the paramedic's friends. Just as the elevator reached it's destination and the doors opened, the three heard what they didn't want to hear.
## Code blue, ICU 1…Code blue, ICU 1…Code blue ICU 1 ##
The three looked at each other, as Dixie said, “Johnny.”
Getting off the elevator and using the stairs, Joe, Dixie and Kel raced back to the ICU and their friend. After twenty minutes working on the young paramedic, two of Rampart's best surgeons lost the battle to keep John Gage alive...Johnny's life was lost.
Standing in shock at the sight before them, Joe slowly reached over and turned off the heart monitor that showed a flatline. The two Doctors and Dixie were numb with the unexpected passing of one of their close friends.
Brackett loudly exhaled and noted the time.
"I thought he was gonna beat it…damn it I thought…time of death...17:20."
After Kel spoke the words, Dixie slowly and quietly started to speak.
"I can't...I can't believe this...time of death and...and Johnny...shouldn't be used in...in the same sentence...someone...someone has to tell Roy ...and...and the guys. They're all waiting in the lounge…for word on Johnny."
Joe looked at Kel's expressionless face.
"If you want...I'll do it Kel...I know it won't be an easy thing to do."
Kel only shook his head, as he softly replied, "No... I'll do it…and it won't be an easy thing for * anyone * to do. How do I...how do we…tell these guys that Johnny's dead...how?"
"Maybe we...should all go together." Dixie softly said.
Kel nodded his head.
"I think that would be best Dix. Let's... let's get him cleaned up and get cleaned up ourselves...and go tell the guys the news."
After Kel and Joe cleaned Johnny up and were cleaned up themselves, the only traces on them that they had lost the battle to save their friend's life, was the grim expression on their faces. Slowly they made their way to the lounge to break the news...they knew that the five men waiting inside would be devastated.
Pushing the door open, Kel led Joe and Dixie into the room. Five firefighters jumped up in anticipation of hearing word about their friend.
Roy was the first one to ask the question that they had all been waiting nervously over two hours for the answer to.
"How...how's Johnny?"
When there was no answer right away, Roy especially knew the answer...he had lost his partner.
Kel looked at all the men and started to speak.
Johnny battled for over two hours...he actually made it through surgery, but...when he was brought upstairs to ICU...he went into cardiac arrest. We did all we could for him, but...he ...he was just too weak…and ultimately lost too much blood and his heart gave out. I'm sorry...we lost him."
After two and a half-hours of waiting and hoping that their friend was going to be alright, five stunned firefighters stood in the staff break room, trying to comprehend what they had just been told.
"He...he didn't make it...but how...how can this...be happenin'...Johnny just...he was hungry and just wanted to...to get somethin'...to eat...before we went back...to the Station...how can he be gone?" Roy softly asked.
"I just don't get it...why'd he...have to shoot Johnny anyway, he was just tryin' to...keep that little girl alive...it was so unnecessary." Chet quietly said.
Dixie tried to keep her own emotions in check, as she softly replied, "Yes, Johnny's death was unnecessary...but I bet if you asked him, he'd...he'd say that it was all worth it...to save the life of a child."
Nodding his head in agreement, Roy softly said, "Yeah, that partner of mine would say that…and did say that to me. Doc, can I go in and…and see him for a minute?"
"Sure Roy , go ahead…he's in ICU 1. Just tell the nurse that you want to see ‘im.” Brackett softly said.
As Roy turned to leave to go to the ICU, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning to face the person, he saw that it was his Captain.
" Roy ...we'll wait in here, just...just take your time."
"Thanks Cap." Roy softly replied.
Roy numbly walked down the hall and as he passed the treatment room door, he suddenly found himself wanting to go inside…morbid curiosity he figured…but he just had to see it for himself.
Going into treatment 5, he let the door close as he slowly walked over to the exam table where his partner had been…looking around the floor and the table, he saw all the blood that Johnny had lost...he saw all the equipment that was lying around, proof of how hard Brackett and Early had fought to save his best friend and partner.
After leaving the treatment room, Roy slowly made his way up to the ICU, walking as if he were in a trance...it didn't seem possible to him that his best friend was gone. Arriving at the ICU, Roy made his way to where he knew Johnny would be lying.
He slowly approached the bed…he still couldn't believe that it was Johnny who was under the sheet. Pulling over a chair, Roy sat down beside the bed and p ulling the sheet down, he saw the redness on Johnny's chest where the Doctors had used the paddles to shock him, trying, unsuccessfully, to get his heart beating again...he saw the sutures where Brackett had closed his friend up after surgery.
Sitting beside his best friend, Roy openly released his grief and pain.
******
While Roy was in the ICU, saying good-bye to his best friend, the rest of his crewmates, Dixie , and the two Doctors were still talking about the day's tragic turn of events.
"Doctor Brackett, I appreciate all that you tried to do for Johnny, but..."
"Hank, I assure you that we * did * do everything that we could possibly do for him but Johnny…he just lost too much blood. Is there anything I can do for you fellas...or anyone I can call?"
"No Doc, but thanks any way. I...I'll call Johnny's family in Seattle when we get back to the station."
Sitting his coffee cup down on the counter, Kel said, "I'm here if anyone of you need to talk. I know dealing with this loss is going to be extremely difficult, especially given how close a group you all are. My prayers are with all of you."
The men all nodded their thanks. After Joe also said a few things to the heartbroken firefighters, the two doctors left the room.
"Dixie, how...how is Roy gonna get through this?"
"It's gonna be rough Hank, but he'll get through it...we all will. Our lives will just be a...a lot emptier without Johnny in it. You know, Johnny would be the first to tell all of us that we're just going to have to take care of each other. I have to go...I'm...I'm so sorry. I know we're all gonna miss him."
Dixie warmly embraced each of the firefighters. After embracing Chet, she took her right hand and gently wiped away a stray tear on his cheek.
“We'll get through this Chet…I promise.” Dixie softly said.
Leaving the room, Dixie tried her best to keep a handle on her * own * emotions, trying to follow the advice that she had just given the grieving firefighters.
******
Gently, Roy lifted Johnny's left arm out from under the sheet, and taking his partner's hand, he held it in his...the hand was already turning cold, with no sign of the warmth that was so symbolic of the kind of person Johnny was. Looking down at the body lying in the bed, Roy was still in shock...wondering how this person lying here could possibly be his partner.
** Doctor Brackett said that you were just too weak and that your heart gave out…I find that ironic Junior...you always had the strongest and biggest heart I ever knew **
Slowly...ever so slowly, Roy got the courage to speak to his friend.
"Johnny...I...I don't know what to say right now. What I * do * know is that you shouldn't be lying here dead right now. I know you said it was worth it to you...to save the life of a child...of that little girl...but it doesn't make it easy for the rest of us...for me...to accept. Maybe I should have told you no when you asked me to stop so you could get somethin' to eat...maybe...maybe I could have done somethin' else different…maybe I could have made different choices on how I handled the whole situation. The bottom line is...I wish you weren't lying here. I wouldn't go so far as saying that I wish it had been me who...who was shot...but the end result was that it shouldn't have been you either. I'm gonna miss you partner."
Roy sat in the ICU cubicle, holding Johnny's hand and talking to him for another hour. Before leaving the room to rejoin his friends, Roy leaned over Johnny and brushed away some hair from his forehead.
"Rest in peace Junior, I'll see you again some day."
Leaving the room, he numbly made his way back downstairs and to the lounge to rejoin his friends.
******
As the men of 51's filed out of the lounge, a pretty young brunette stopped them. She sported a bandage on her forehead, and her left arm was in a sling. Her face was pale and her make up was smeared from where she had been crying.
Approaching Roy , she softly spoke.
"Your...your friend...how is he?"
Roy looked at her questioningly, not realizing that she had been in the store with his partner.
Seeing Roy 's confusion, the young lady said, "I'm sorry, my name is Monica...Monica Potter…I...I was the clerk in the convenience store. Your friend, he...he saved some people's lives today and if...if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be standing here either. How is he…is he okay?"
Finding his voice, Roy softly answered her question, as he said, "I'm sorry...he...he didn't make it…there was too much internal damage that was done along…with so much blood loss."
Monica wasn't ready to hear his response. Tears started to fall down her face at the news that her hero had died.
"How are you doing? I see you...you have your arm in a sling."
Softly answering the paramedic, Monica replied, "My shoulder's sprained from...from where the man grabbed me, but I'm okay. I'm so sorry about...about your friend…he seemed like…such a kind person."
"Thank you...Johnny...he was one in a million. You take care of yourself Monica."
Slightly nodding her head, Monica softly said, "I will. And again...I'm so sorry."
Monica softly touched Roy on the shoulder and walked away.
As the five firemen stood in the hall, Hank was the first one to speak.
Softly, Hank said, "Well, I guess we better get...get back to the Station...I've got a phone call to make."
******
Returning to the station, the men all somberly got out of their vehicles. Entering the station, they noticed that the Engine was out, but were greeted by the two paramedics. Judging by the facial expressions of the crew, the two paramedics knew that the news about their fellow firefighter was not good.
Paramedic Glen Jeffries was the first one to ask the question.
"How's Johnny?"
Hank could only look down at the floor and shake his head.
"He isn't...Johnny died…a little over an hour ago."
Before turning around he added, "With Johnny…the Chief has released us from duty for the next three shifts, with pay, so we can get ready for the funeral and try…* try * to deal with this. I'll be in my office."
After hearing the news of Johnny's sudden passing, the two paramedics were stunned. They wanted to hear about what had transpired at the store, but knew better than to ask after seeing the devastation all over their friend's faces…they quietly went to the dorm to give the A-shift crew some privacy.
Hank walked quietly to his office and closed the door. He was dreading the phone call he knew he had to make...to John's parents in Seattle . While Hank was in his office, the rest of the men went into the kitchen and wearily sat around the table.
Roy was very quiet, but Chet spoke what they were all thinking.
"I...I can't believe…Johnny's gone. He...he and I were goin' at it with each other just this mornin' just before that run...it just doesn't seem real."
The other men all seemed to echo those same thoughts in their facial expressions.
Mike, worried about his friend, asked him about Joanne.
" Roy ...you gonna tell Joanne about Johnny?"
"Uh...yeah...I...I just don't know how. She and the kids were real close to Johnny...you know."
"She might already know something's wrong Roy . I'm sure there were reports about this whole hostage thing on TV. You should call her, she might be worried that something happened to you."
Roy weakly smiled at Marco, and said, "You're right Marco...at least my brain knows that's what I should do...but my heart is telling me to wait. I don't think somethin' like this should be…be done over the phone."
"Wanna talk about it Roy ?"
"No thanks Chet…I was there when it all went down...I don't think I really wanna relive it all again…not now anyway."
"So Johnny really * was * a hero. I'm not surprised amigo."
"He was Marco, based on things that people have told me...Johnny was responsible for keeping the casualty number down. He saved the life of a little girl...that I know for sure. He...he told me it was all worth it to him...to give up his life so the little girl could have a future. I'm...gonna miss him so much."
Unable to say anything else, Roy got up and walked out of the room. Meanwhile in his office, Hank Stanley started to make the dreaded phone call. Dialing the number of Johnny's parents, Hank's heart started to beat faster and his mouth became like cotton.
Hearing the line being answered, Hank tensed up.
"Gage Residence...may I help you?"
"Uh, yeah...this is Captain Hank Stanley of the LA County Fire Department. Is this John's father?"
A little nervous, John replied, "Yes sir, John Gage...Senior. Is something wrong Hank?"
"I'm afraid so John. Johnny...he...he was...killed...in a robbery today. He just passed about an hour ago. I'm so sorry."
Hank could hear the stunned silence on the other end, and the sound of a woman crying and screaming.
Trying to control his own emotions, Hank said, "I want you to know...he died a hero. He saved the life of a...a little girl...he...he took a bullet that was meant for her…he also saved some other lives as well. Johnny was a good man, and you and your family should...be very proud of your son and what he had accomplished as a paramedic and firefighter."
Finally able to speak, John said, "We are proud of him Hank, and Sarah and I, as well as our other three children will be in Los Angeles sometime tomorrow morning. Thank you for calling us."
"I'm sorry it wasn't under better circumstances. You have the station number...let me give you my home phone, so you can call me when you get to the airport and I'll come and pick you up. It's 555-1203."
"555-1203, ok, I have it. We'll call as soon as we get to the airport. Thanks Hank...your kind words mean a lot."
Hanging up the phone, Hank wanted to burst into tears…he had never lost a man on his watch before and John Gage was a gentle soul whom he had come to know both as a friend, and like a son. This loss would continue to hurt for a long time to come.
As Hank continued to sit at his desk, he wondered how the rest of his crew were doing. He wanted to go and try to comfort them, but knew that he hadn't yet gotten a handle on his * own * emotions. Finally, after sitting for another ten minutes, he got up to find his crew.
Going out to the kitchen, his men...minus one...were where he thought they'd be.
"How are you guys holding up?"
Seeing the emptiness on their faces, Hank knew that they too were struggling with Johnny's death.
"Did you call Johnny's folks Cap?"
"Yeah, I did Mike and his family'll be coming in sometime tomorrow. I wish I knew what to say to you guys...but I don't. You know…when you study to become a Captain...they don't have anything in the manual about what…what to say to your crew after you lose…a man. Johnny was important to all of us...and we're gonna miss him. You guys know where Roy went? I need to talk to him."
Mike spoke up. He knew Roy would be in one of two places...either up on the hose tower...a place where Johnny always liked to go to think, or in the back lot sitting in Johnny's Rover. Walking to the back lot, Hank saw Roy sitting in his best friend's vehicle...walking over to it, Hank slowly opened the passenger's side door and climbed in next to his senior paramedic.
" Roy ..."
Roy held up his hand to stop his Captain, as he said, "You don't have to say anything Cap, I'm just not…in the mood to talk right now…in fact…I'm kinda talked out at the moment. When I leave here to go home...I have to face my wife and kids and tell them that Johnny's gone. I came out here for some inspiration...hoping that maybe...well, you know…Johnny was such a good BS'er...I thought maybe he'd help guide me somehow."
"No…I just keep replayin' the last ten hours in my mind...and hopin' that this has all just been a bad dream…and that Johnny will come into the locker room, smiling that big crooked grin of his…its like, he's going to, he'll be out here, with us, any minute he'll come walkin' …out the bay door and…”
Seeing the worried look on Hank's face, Roy tried to reassure his Captain.
“Oh, don't worry Cap…I'm in reality…unfortunately…the grim reality of knowin' Johnny's gone…believe me, I do know it, I…I saw ‘im at Rampart with my own eyes…it's just…he shouldn't be…and I really do expect to hear him and Chet get into it…at anytime and over anything …I * wanna * hear it…I * need * to hear it…just one more time…Johnny was my partner on the job for ten years...as well as bein' my best friend the whole time, and well… you don't forget about that kind of stuff very easily…not after everything we've been through together. I'll be okay Cap, I don't want anyone worryin' about me...I'll be fine. How are the other guys doin'...how are * you * doin'?"
"Everyone's okay Roy . Me...I'm okay too I guess. It's like Dixie said...somehow...we'll all get through this. I called Johnny's parents and they'll be here tomorrow.
"Oh man, I totally forgot about them. How are they doing?"
"It's rough, you know. His father is okay, I think...his mother...I heard her crying. We need to all be there for his family. Roy ...I don't want you blaming yourself for what happened today, Johnny was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Let's go back in, get some rest...the next few days are gonna be emotional."
"I guess."
The two men climbed slowly out of the Rover. After closing the driver's side door, Roy lingered for a few moments more, looking at the steering wheel, and the small horseshoe that Johnny had hanging from his mirror.
"Night Junior." Roy softly said.
The two men made their way back inside and were met by the Engine crew who was just returning from a structure fire. News of Johnny's passing had traveled quickly, the men returning had already heard the terrible news. They were wearing the same solemn expressions on their faces as the rest of A-shift's crew. Johnny was a well-respected part of the Department and everyone felt his loss.
“Hank, Roy …we heard about Johnny…we're so sorry. If there's anything we can do to help, just tell us.” Captain Steve French told the men.
Roy could only nod his head, as Hank replied, “Thanks Steve, that means a lot. We'll let you know if there's anything we need.”
While the Engine crew on B-shift joined their paramedics in the dorm to try to get some rest, the A-shift crew could only sit at the kitchen table, and dwell on the tragedy of the day.
When 6:30 AM rolled around, A-shift found themselves at a crossroads…they were all so tired and numb, but unsure of where to actually go. Hank knew he needed to go home to make some phone calls and wait to hear from John's parents. Roy knew he had to go home to tell his wife and kids about Johnny.
As for Mike, Marco and Chet, the three of them had no one to rush home to, and no major phone calls to make. They would have to break the news to their families as well, but right now...they were in no rush.
Looking sadly at his men, Hank suggested that they all go home to try to get some rest.
"I'll be in touch about...about the funeral and all. You guys take care of yourselves and call me if need me."
The weary men all nodded their heads. Going to the locker room, they all quietly prepared to go home. After the rest of his friends left to go home, Roy was left alone in the room. He sat staring at Johnny's locker for a few moments then he slowly opened the locker door.
He smiled at the Smokey the Bear poster. He saw Johnny's three blue uniform shirts still hung up, and the blue jacket with Johnny's nameplate on it as well. Reaching up onto the shelf in the locker, he felt some papers. Taking them down, he realized they were pictures...pictures of Johnny with Roy 's family. Looking at them, one at a time made him sad...he realized that never again would he see that lopsided grin, or those puppy dog brown eyes.
Exhaling deeply, Roy put the pictures back in the locker and closed the door. Getting his own things out of his locker, Roy started to walk out of the locker room, but stopped to look one last time at Johnny's locker.
Finally leaving the Station, Roy slowly made his way home. He was not due to get off shift until the next morning, so he knew that Joanne would wonder what he was doing home a day early.
Parking his car in the driveway, he sat for a few extra moments to collect his thoughts. Finally, he got the nerve to get out and made his way up the walk to the front door. Not surprisingly, Joanne met him at the door.
Seeing her husband's tired and pale face, and a very overwhelmingly sad expression on it, she knew something was very wrong.
" Roy ...first of all why...why are you home? I thought you didn't get off until tomorrow morning."
"Yeah, you're right...I...I * wasn't * supposed to get off until tomorrow. Did...did you watch any TV yesterday?"
Still unsure of what the problem was, Joanne said, "No...me and the kids...we...we spent the day at my sister's, we were out all day shopping and was never near a TV. What happened Roy ?"
"Uh...I...I have somethin' I need to tell you and the kids. Can you please get them?"
"Yeah...sure."
Not liking Roy 's tone and body language, she knew that it was imperative for her to hurry. Whatever news Roy had to share...it was very serious.
When the kids came downstairs, they were surprised to see their father home. They too, knew that their father wasn't supposed to be due home until the next day.
Chris picked up on his father's awkwardness, as he said, "Dad...what's going on? Mom said you had something to tell us."
Roy could only nod his head, as he softly replied, "Uh...yeah. I think you guys better sit down."
Before hearing anything else, Jennifer had a sense that it had something to do with Johnny.
"Dad...did...did somethin' happen to Uncle Johnny?"
When Roy didn't answer right away, his family knew something was seriously wrong...just how seriously wrong...they had no way of knowing. What they were about to hear, Roy knew would change all of their lives.
Having trouble controlling his emotions, Roy softly said, "Yesterday...yesterday Uncle Johnny and me were on our way…back to the station…when Johnny wanted to stop for a bite to eat…we...we stopped at a store and he…he went in and…the store was held up… Uncle Johnny was shot twice in the stomach…he was tryin' to save a little girl...he…he did save the little girl…he stepped in front of her and…refused to move outta the way… eventually, after everything was over...he was taken to Rampart... they...they couldn't save him…Uncle Johnny...he died yesterday… Brackett told us…the news a little after 5."
There was stunned silence in the room while Roy 's family tried to digest the information.
After a few minutes, Jennifer spoke up, and asked, "Uncle Johnny's...he's dead?"
Wiping away his own tears, Roy softly replied, "Yeah honey, but the Doctors at Rampart did everything they could do...he just lost too much blood...but they tried."
Chris only stood there, still in too much shock to say anything, but that wasn't the case for his younger sister...even though she was in shock at hearing the news, she was also angry... and she let her Father know it.
Getting up and throwing a pillow from the couch across the room. Jennifer said, "Well they didn't do enough...they should'a tried harder...and you...why did you have to agree to stop ...why didn't you just go back to the Station?"
"Don't you think I asked myself that same question...I have, over and over again. If...if I didn't agree to stop...Johnny would still be here, and I know that."
Joanne knew how emotional everyone was after hearing the news, and she felt it was wrong for Roy and the kids to be arguing about it. She already knew that her husband was busy blaming himself for Johnny's death and didn't need the added stress of everything else on top of it.
"Jenny...now isn't the time for this." Joanne softly said.
As Roy started to reach out to hug his daughter, Jennifer pushed him away.
"No...no, just stay away from me...you killed Uncle Johnny!"
"Jennifer." Roy softly called to his daughter.
“I'll…I'll go talk to ‘er Dad…and it wasn't your fault.” Chris softly said.
“Thanks Chris.” Roy quietly answered.
After breaking the terrible news to his family, Roy was exhausted. Jennifer had run from the room, blaming him for having a part in Johnny's death. Chris too was devastated and went to try to comfort his younger sister. Joanne was numb…she wanted to comfort her husband, but didn't know quite what to say.
Roy softly spoke, and said, "I...I know how Jenny feels. It's like I said...I've asked myself that same question about 100 times over the last 20 hours. Why * did * I stop? I need some air...I'll be out back."
Joanne watched as Roy left the room and slid open the sliding doors that led out to the back deck.
Standing at the railing, Roy couldn't help but wonder how everything went so wrong yesterday. He knew that Johnny's family was probably on their way into LA and that he'd have to face them. He wondered to himself if they'd blame him too...like his own daughter did.
Upstairs in her room, Jennifer sat on her bed, holding a picture of her and her "Uncle" as she sat there, sobbing. Walking into the room, Chris quietly closed the door and walked over to his sister.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Chris softly asked, "Jenn...are you okay?"
Wiping her eyes, Jenn angrily said, "No. Are you?"
"Well no...I mean, Uncle Johnny died but...I don't blame Dad either. Jenny...it wasn't…"
Interrupting her brother, Jennifer asked, "No...why not…you gonna say that it wasn't his fault?"
Placing his hand on her knee, Chris said, "Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna say… because it wasn't. Jenn, you should know, as well as anybody how Dad's feelin' about this… Uncle Johnny was...well, not only his partner...but his best friend. And I don't blame him because for one, neither of them knew that somethin' like this was gonna happen when they stopped and two, Dad didn't pull the trigger...and you know that. And you also know that Dad, and Doctor Brackett and Doctor Early…and probably even Dixie …they all did everything they could do for Uncle Johnny."
As the tears started to flow harder down her face, Jennifer softly asked, "Then...then why...is he dead...why did it...have to happen...to Uncle Johnny?"
Moving closer to his sister, he gently hugged her, as he said, "I don't know Jenny, I just don't know, I don't have any answers for why anything happens…but it's gonna be alright, we're gonna get through this...that's what Uncle Johnny would want us to do."
When his sister was finally able to stop crying, Chris said, “Jenn, I think you need to talk to Dad...and apologize for what you said, you hurt ‘im by sayin' that.”
"I'll think about it." Jennifer softly said.
While Roy 's family was still trying to deal with the news of Johnny's death, Hank had just gotten off the phone with Johnny's father.
"Carrie, Johnny's family should be at the airport around four o'clock and I offered to pick them up in our van. You don't mind, do you?"
"Mind...why would I mind? I would have been disappointed if you didn't offer. In fact, why don't you ask them to stay here with us. The kids are all outta the house...we have plenty of room. And you always said that we're all family...I think that's what we all need right now, to be with family. Besides, I know how fond of Johnny you were...and I think it would be good for his family to know how much you and all of us really * did * care about him."
Hank looked at his wife with gratitude, and said, "Thank you honey. I'm just worried about Roy , that's all."
“Hank, it's gonna be tough on Roy , just like the rest of us. But we'll all help him through it.”
Carrie left to take care of the rooms in which the Gages would all be staying.
“I just hope we can.” Hank softly said to himself.
******
As the hours passed and it was now noon, not much had changed in the DeSoto household. Chris and Jennifer were still upstairs, and Roy was still out on the deck. Joanne, not knowing quite what to do was sitting in the living room looking at a photo album. The pictures in the album were recent ones...and many of them included a grinning Johnny Gage.
She had been so absorbed in the pictures, that she didn't hear the knock at the door right away. Walking slowly to answer the door, she was met by a very sad looking Chet Kelly.
"Chet. I...I...uh, come in."
Quietly entering the house, Chet was apologetic for coming over unannounced.
Being lost and unsure of what he should do, Chet said, "I'm sorry for...for not callin'...I just…I just didn't know what to do…or where to go, you know."
Joanne nodded her head in understanding.
"Join the club. Can I get you some coffee or something?"
"No...no thanks, I'm fine. I was just wonderin' if…maybe I could talk to Roy ...for just a little while, if he's up to it that is."
"Yeah, sure...he's out back on the deck."
Before Chet started to walk towards the kitchen and the sliding doors, Joanne stopped him and warmly embraced the firefighter.
"I know how hard this is for you too Chet because Johnny meant a lot to you...I know that. Let me know if there's anything I can get for you."
"I will...thanks Jo."
After softly kissing Joanne on the cheek, Chet quietly slid open the door to the deck and stepped outside.
" Roy ."
The paramedic broke out of the deep haze that he had sunk into. Looking up he realized that he had a visitor.
"Chet."
Both men knew how much the other was hurting. They both started to talk at the same time.
Roy shook his head, and said, "You first Chet."
"I was just gonna say, I guess I don't have to ask you how you're doin'...or how...how Joanne and the kids took the news."
Going over and taking a seat in one of the chairs, Roy replied, "No. As you can imagine ...the kids, especially Jennifer, didn't take the news very well at all. She... she blames me for being part of the reason why Johnny died."
Chet walked over to the table and took a seat across from his friend.
Being surprised at what Roy just said, Chet replied, "Why? That's crazy, you had nothin' to do with it...you did everything you could to help Johnny...we all know that. It...it was just dumb luck."
Shaking his head, Roy softly said, "He wanted to stop...I * coulda * said no...but I didn't. If we hadn't stopped...we wouldn't be out here on my deck talkin' about it...and Johnny would be sittin' here next to us...smiling and telling us about his next conquest."
"Yeah, he probably would be. But Roy , sittin' here thinkin' about what you could'a done, didn't do, did do, should'a done or would or wouldn't be doin'...that isn't gonna bring Johnny back...and it's only gonna make you crazy. I'm sure Jennifer'll come around...she'll realize that you did all that you could for Johnny."
Looking up at his friend, Roy asked, "You really think so?"
"Yeah...I really think so…no, I take that back…I * know * so."
"Yeah...maybe. You want some coffee Chet?"
"Well...if you're offerin'...I'm acceptin'."
Roy smiled weakly at his friend. Going back inside the house, Roy poured two cups of coffee...one for Chet and one for himself.
As much as he knew his friend was right, he still was having a hard time thinking that he wasn't somehow responsible for Johnny's death. Looking at Chet, Roy was painfully reminded at what he was now missing...as previous practical jokes and "heated" discussions that his partner and Chet had, came to mind.
******
When Johnny's family arrived at the airport, they called Hank and he arrived quickly to meet them... Johnny's parents, John and Sarah, his brothers Gary and Mark, and his twin sisters KC and Kara. Agreeing that the next few days would in fact be quite emotional, Johnny's family decided that staying with Hank and his wife would be a good idea... that it would be comforting to be with people who cared as much about Johnny as they did.
Hank was also trying to help Roy...he knew his senior paramedic would want them to stay with him and his family, but Hank knew how hard it was on his paramedic, having lost his partner and best friend, and felt that Roy didn't need the extra reminder of his partner's death by having Johnny's family at the DeSoto house.
When Hank arrived back home with Johnny's family in tow, they were greeted by Hank's wife.
"John, Sarah, come on in…I'm so sorry for your loss."
John's father was the only one who was strong enough to speak.
"Thank you Carrie...it means a lot. And thank you for letting us stay at your home. We were all set to stay at a hotel, but when Hank suggested we all stay here with the both of you...we thought that it would be a comfort to be with people who really cared as much about our son as we all do."
"It's no problem at all…I just wish you were all here under happier circumstances. Hank, why don't we show the Gages to their rooms."
After helping Johnny's family get settled, Hank suggested they eat something.
"I know it's been a long day for all of you...and very difficult, but I think you should try to eat something."
Agreeing to eat, the Gage family was served dinner. After dinner, Hank, Carrie, and their guests went to the living room to talk.
Johnny's older brother Gary was the first to ask a question.
"Captain Stanley... can you tell us what really happened...why did my brother die?"
Hank let out a sigh, as he replied, "I wish I could...but I'm not really sure of all the details myself, the Police are still tryin' to piece everything together. Roy would be able to answer those questions better than I could."
"Can we call him…don't we deserve to know what really happened to Johnny?"
Hank nodded in understanding. He was hesitant to call Roy ...he knew that his senior paramedic would still be very upset and devastated and seeing his partner's family would be difficult for him.
"Uh...I...I agree that you all deserve to know what happened to Johnny...that you all * should * know what happened to him Gary ...but...right now, I think it would be best if you waited until tomorrow to talk to him. Roy and Johnny were...as you know, very close, and I know his death was devastating to him…he isn't handling it very well."
Johnny's family was very understanding, and although they wanted answers as to what happened and how it came to be that their son/brother was now dead...they understood what Hank was trying to tell them.
******
The next morning after calling Hank, Roy met his Captain and Johnny's family at Hank's house. After warmly embracing each of Johnny's family members, Roy launched into his account of the tragedy that had changed many people's lives.
"Johnny and I were on our way back to the station after leaving Rampart, when he asked me if we could stop so he could get something to eat at a store. I...I didn't wanna stop...but he...he wouldn't let it go...so I agreed to stop. I keep asking myself why I agreed to stop...it still haunts me. When...when Johnny got out of the squad, I had him take in a radio with him...in case we got a call."
Roy stopped for a moment and took a deep breath...trying to talk about it after only a day was still too hard for him to do.
"Just take your time Roy...we all understand." John said.
Nodding his head, Roy took a few moments before he continued.
"Apparently after he went in...there were a couple guys who came in to hold up the place. All the people in the store were herded into a…a back room and after a few minutes, we got a call...when he didn't come out right away...I knew there was something wrong. The Police got involved...and that's when it all got crazy. I don't actually know every detail about what happened except... that it seemed that one of the guys had a trigger finger, and when he threatened to hurt a little girl, to shoot her, Johnny stepped in front of her...he wouldn't move and he took the bullet that was...was meant for her and he was shot twice in the stomach."
Roy paused as he wiped the tears from his eyes.
"What...what else happened Roy ...did my brother suffer?" KC tearfully asked.
Gently taking KC's hand in his, Roy softly said, "Ah...yeah...I'm afraid he did…at least some. Gunshot wounds are painful and I was…I was able to talk to him once on the radio...I knew that he had been seriously hurt. By the time the SWAT Team took care of business and we were able to get into the store...Johnny had already lost a lot of blood...and was having some serious breathing issues."
"Was he conscious the whole time?"
"I don't think so Mark...I'd say while he was inside the store, he was probably in and out. But he did come to...twice...once when I was starting to examine him and the second time in the ambulance on the way to Rampart but then he...he lapsed back into unconsciousness again and...and despite the efforts of two of the best surgeons this County has...they weren't able to save him…they lost him after he was moved into ICU. I really am so sorry, I…I can't help but to second guess myself on so many things that happened that day...how I handled that whole situation...to deciding to stop at the store in the first place. If...if you blame me...for his death...I wouldn't blame you."
Sarah, who was still in shock over her son's death, spoke quietly.
" Roy ...why would you think that we'd blame you? We know how much Johnny meant to you. It...it was just a bunch of very unfortunate circumstances. I know my son loved kids...and...he wouldn't have wanted anything to happen to that little girl. I'm sure he probably told you that it was worth giving up his life for that of a child's. I don't want you to feel bad, Johnny always spoke so highly of you...and...well...we're glad that you were there with him near the end...I'm sure that it gave him much comfort."
There was silence in the room as everyone digested the tale of events that Roy had just told them.
"Uh, I wanted to let you know that Chief Hauts will be meeting us at the funeral home at 9:30. There's quite a few details that have to be worked out." Hank said.
Johnny's father spoke up, and said, " Roy ...will you please join us. I know that this will be as difficult for you as it will be for us, but I know it would be a comfort to all of us to have you be a part of this. I do know that Johnny meant the world to you...and your family."
Roy was very choked up...Johnny did mean the world to him and his family and he didn't know how any of them were going to get through this.
"He was like...like a brother to me...so I'd be honored." Roy softly said.
******
By the time Roy left Hank's house to return home, he was feeling the most sad and lost as he had felt since this whole sad chapter had started. It still seemed improbable to him that a quick stop at a convenience store would end up costing Johnny his life and thinking about his friend's body undergoing an autopsy was almost too much to think about. Seeing Johnny's family was difficult too...it only served as a painful reminder that his best friend really was gone.
And finally...there was Jennifer who blamed him for having a hand in her Uncle's death. Roy didn't know how he was going to get through these next few days but before heading back home, he took a detour...to Johnny's apartment.
After parking in the lot at the apartment complex, he used his spare key to get into Johnny's apartment. It had been a few weeks since he was last in there. Slowly unlocking and opening the door, a rush of memories came to him. He stood there remembering the day that he had helped Johnny move into the apartment...that was over seven years ago. Looking around, there were signs of his partner every where...from the camping equipment that were neatly placed in the corner of the living room...to the handmade Indian blanket that hung over the couch.
Walking into the kitchen, he recognized the pictures hanging on the fridge, as pictures that were made by Jennifer...some were from early in her childhood, but two of them were more recent watercolors that she had done. And there was a picture of 51's whole crew from last month's charity basketball game. Deciding he had enough of "strolling down memory lane", Roy locked up the apartment and went home.
Meeting him at the door was Jennifer, who had been crying.
Before Roy had a chance to say anything, Jennifer ran into her Father's arms, hugging him, as she said, "Dad...I'm so sorry for yellin' at you...I...I know that you tried to help Uncle Johnny... it's...it's just that I miss him so much."
Roy looked sympathetically at his daughter, as he said, "It's okay Jen...I understand and…and I miss him too."
After hugging his daughter, Roy felt better.
******
The next day, after their meeting at the funeral home, the group went back to Hank's house. Doctor Brackett had called and informed them that Johnny's body was undergoing an autopsy since he had been one of several people killed during the robbery attempt. His body would be ready for the wake the next day.
The next evening at 7 PM, all of Johnny's friends and family gathered for his wake. Watching all the people who had come to pay their respects, it became evident to Roy just how well respected and admired Johnny was throughout the Department, and the community. Johnny * was * special and he'd be missed by many people.
Roy was brought out of his deep thoughts by a sultry voice.
" Roy ...how are you holding up?"
"Uh...hi Dix…I'm...I'm okay. How are you doing?"
Dixie looked at the paramedic with heartfelt sympathy, as she said, "I guess the same as you. I know you miss him...I do too."
"Yeah. We'll get over it Dix...we always do."
Roy knew that wasn't true. This loss would stay with both of them a long time.
"Yeah. If...if you ever wanna stop for a cup of coffee or anything...you know where to find me Roy ."
"Thanks Dix. Some day, I just might take you up on your offer."
Before walking away, Dixie gently kissed Roy on the cheek and patted his shoulder.
The evening did prove to be quite emotional.
With Station 51's area being covered by another Station, all three shifts came, staff from Rampart, Vince, Scott, Brice and Bellingham , and many other people both in and out of the Department came to pay their respects to Johnny and his family. There were even several people that Johnny and Roy had rescued over the years that had come, as more of a tribute to the young paramedic than anything else.
As the hour was approaching 9 PM and the end of the wake was drawing to a close, Roy was not prepared to leave his best friend, nor for the three people who had just entered the room ...a man, a woman, and a blond little girl. First coming over to Roy before speaking to Johnny's family, the man introduced himself.
"Mr. DeSoto, I'm Mr. Dotson, Andrew Dotson, and this is Barbara, my wife…we're Ashley's parents and we wanted to tell you how sorry we were when we heard that your partner didn't make it. We'll be forever grateful to him for what he did...saving our daughter. What you folks do...I...I just wish there was somethin' more that we could do for all of you."
Roy had trouble finding his voice, and didn't readily trust it after he did find it.
"Call me Roy, please. Mr. Dotson, what Johnny did...I think anyone of us would do, but…Johnny was a special man, and he truly loved kids...he would have never let anything or anyone hurt your daughter...and he didn't. Your kind words mean a lot...thank you."
Roy shook the man's hand, hugged the mother and then bent down to hug the little girl...the little girl with her whole life ahead of her now...thanks to Johnny.
Moving to where Johnny's family stood, the man once again introduced himself and his family to them.
"Mr. and Mrs. Gage…your son...he saved our little girl. We just wanted to tell you how thankful we are that he was there. We know he didn't have to do what he did...but we are thankful. He made the ultimate sacrifice...for a little girl that he didn't even know."
Shaking Mr. Dotson's hand, John replied, "Mr. Dotson...thank you for the kind words. Our son was a kind and special young man...and although we will miss him...we're glad that he was able to do what he did. Ashley honey...I hope you go on to have a long and happy life...and always smile and be happy...that's what Johnny would have wanted you to do."
“I will.” the young girl sadly said.
Sarah, despite the tears that were again starting to fall, bent down to hug the girl that her son had given up his life for.
"He'd say it was worth it...and seeing this beautiful little girl's face...I'd say it was."
“I'm…I'm sorry this happened to Johnny.” Ashley softly said.
“What do you have to be sorry for?” Sarah asked.
Crying, Ashley quietly said, “It…it was my…my fault…he did it…to save me.”
“No…no honey, what happened to Johnny was * not * your fault…so don't you dare blame yourself. He did it…because he didn't want anything to happen to you.”
“So…you're not mad…at me for…what happened…to him?”
Kneeling down in front of Ashley, Sarah softly said, “Of course not…and neither is Johnny. He would do it again, in a heartbeat…for you or any other little boy or girl…or adult…that was in danger. That's what he was trained for, and was willing to give his life, if he had to, in order to do it.”
“Mrs. Gage…what your son did…not many people would have done it…and we truly are grateful to him…but we're so very sorry for the loss that you and your family are going through because of it…and if we could change the outcome, we would, in a minute. If we can do anything…anything at all that can help you and your family, or the men that Johnny worked with, please…let us know.” Barbara said.
Standing and shaking Barbara's hand, Sarah softly replied, “I know you would…and thank you, we will.”
The Dotson's quietly walked away from the grieving family. As everyone heard the clock on the wall outside the chapel strike 9 PM, and the wake came to a close, the visitors slowly made their way out of the funeral home. Roy and the crew, along with Joe, Mike, Dixie and Kel, quietly stood to the side while Johnny's grieving family gathered around the casket to say their final good-byes to the son and brother that they loved so much.
Johnny's brothers and sisters stood arm in arm, comforting each other, as their parents went first.
“Son…we miss you so much…may you rest in peace as you soar…with the eagles and find rest on the other side…your good deeds will be rewarded…we love you Johnny…and we'll see you soon.” John softly said, as he held on tight to his grieving wife.
With tears streaming down her face, Sarah touched Johnny's cold hand as she ran her other hand over his uniform, as if smoothing it out. She bent over her son and gently kissed him on the forehead.
Her voice started out soft, but became louder, as she said, “Oh Johnny…you look so handsome in…in your uniform…your crewmates loved…loved you so much…they're all here…but this just isn't right…you…you shouldn't be here…you saved that little girl…but it shouldn't have…happened this way…please…please no…you can't…can't be dead…I want you back…I want…my son…back…John…John please…give me back…my son…!”
Stepping close to his Mother, and unable to control his own emotions, Gary said, “Mama… Mama…listen to me…Johnny's gone…he's gone…we gotta let ‘im go…as much as it hurts…we have to let him go…we'll see him again one day…we will, I promise.”
John quickly led a sobbing Sarah from the chapel, as Gary gently picked up his little brother's hand, and held it as he quietly spoke.
“Mama's right little brother…this…this isn't right…but I swear to you…those responsible for this…will pay…I promise…rest in peace Johnny…I love ya man.”
Kara touched Johnny's arm, and after gently kissing him on the cheek, she said, “I'll see you again one day Johnny…I love you and…I'm gonna miss you…so much.”
KC held a crying Kara in her arms, as she looked down at her older brother, and mouthed, “I love you Johnny…rest easy.”
Seeing all of this was tearing Roy and the others apart…all Roy wanted to do was to wake up from the nightmare that he found himself in…he wanted it to only be a dream, that his best friend and partner was really alive and alright…but he knew that wasn't the case…he knew that he wasn't dreaming and this was reality…the painful reality of his best friend, giving his life, to save someone else.
Mark, being the youngest brother, had always looked up to Johnny more than he did Gary…not that he didn't love and respect his oldest brother, he did, but he had always admired how Johnny led his life and what he had done with it…having the courage to run into a burning building to save someone that he, most of the time, didn't even know, while everyone else was running the other way…and how he was able to save a person's life with the training he had.
He was both angry and heartbroken over what had happened to his brother, and like Gary , he was going to make sure that the people, who took his brother away from them, would pay.
“It's gonna be okay Johnny, they'll get what's comin' to ‘em…I love you and…I'm gonna miss you…see you soon Johnny…rest in peace.”
Mark gently touched his brother's shoulder, and quietly walked away. Knowing that Roy would want to spend a few minutes alone with his best friend, Kel, Joe, Dixie and Mike, paid their last respects, as did Joanne and the kids and the rest of Station 51, then they all quietly and tearfully walked away.
When Roy saw that everyone had left and he was alone with his best friend, he stepped up to the casket and after wiping his tears away, he placed his hands on the open casket as he just stood there, looking down at his best friend and partner's still form.
Holding on to Johnny's cold hand, Roy said, “Oh Johnny…I just don't…we shouldn't be here…your Mom was right Junior, it shouldn't have happened this way…you weren't supposed to die…not now…not this way…ya know, Ashley and her parents came tonight…they're grateful for what'cha did…I'm mad as hell but they're grateful…but how am I…supposed to get through this…how am I supposed to...to not blame myself…for what happened…and for not bein' able…to get to ya quicker…the past few days…have been a complete…and total nightmare partner…I just wanna wake up…and hear your voice…see that crooked smile of yours…and hear you whine, rant and rave about somethin'…anything …just one more time…just like Sarah wantin' her son back…I want my partner…and best friend back.”
Looking up to the heavens, Roy said, “I want him back…give me my partner and best friend back…he shouldn't be dead…this isn't fair…give him back to us…now!”
Hearing her husband's cries, Joanne opened the door to the chapel and started to go in.
Stopping her, Hank whispered, “Don't Joanne…he needs to do this…he needs time to let it out and come to terms with what's happened. Trust me, he's gonna need you, the kids…and the rest of us, later on. Just give him this time alone with Johnny.”
Still standing in the door, looking at her husband, her heart broke and her eyes filled with tears, as she watched the man she loved, grieving over the loss of his best friend and partner.
Softly speaking to Hank, Joanne said, “He looks so lost…he and Johnny, they always complemented each other…Roy's quietness and Johnny…well, we all know how outgoing and talkative he was…he always brought out the best in Roy whether he knew it or not…and they were always there for each other, no matter what. I just don't know how he's gonna make it through this without Johnny.”
Stepping up behind Joanne and placing his hands on her shoulders, Hank quietly said, “We're all gonna be there for him…everyone of us…and we'll do whatever it takes to help Roy through this…I promise you that. It's gonna be hard, I don't doubt that at all, but with all our help, Roy won't be alone. And by us helping him, we'll also help ourselves, we all loved Johnny and we miss him more than we can say…he was…he was part of our family at the Station, and now…we have an emptiness that nothing will ever fill. It still seems so unreal that this has happened.”
Joanne turned and looked at Hank…she had always been amazed by this man from the first time she met him after he took over at 51's…from the leadership he showed as a Captain, in charge of a bunch of “twits” as he sometimes called his men, lovingly, of course, to the friendship and compassion he showed as a friend, whether it was due to an illness or injury to one of his men, or like now…the time when one of his men was lost…Hank Stanley always came through and was always there.
“What…why are you lookin' at me like that?”
** No wonder all the guys admire you **
“Oh, nothin'…you just never cease to amaze me…that's all. Thank you, for being here for Roy …he's gonna need all the help he can get.”
Nodding his head, Hank replied, “Yes he is…and we're all gonna see that he gets it.”
“I know.” Jo softly said.
Looking back to Roy , they could hear him still sobbing and talking softly to his best friend.
Wiping his face, Roy said, “Sorry…sorry partner…it's just I…I can't do this…not now …but, like I told Cap…I know you're gone…I know it but…I can't handle this…”
Roy turned around to see his wife and Captain standing in the doorway…he knew that they, along with all the others, had heard his outburst…but at the moment, he didn't really care, he was hurting and missed his best friend.
Roy signaled to the two that he was okay and that he'd be ready to go in a few minutes. Stepping back and letting the door close, Roy turned back to his best friend and softly spoke.
“Well, that was good…Cap's already thought that I was losin' it and now…now so do Joanne and everybody else…I…I hate leavin' you here…I shouldn't have to…but I know that…that's all I can do…I'll…I'll see ya later Junior…rest in peace partner…I'm gonna miss ya Johnny, and somehow…somehow, I'll be alright.”
Roy gently laid Johnny's hand back down, softly patted it and turned and slowly walked out of the chapel, leaving his best friend and partner behind.
******
The following day at the funeral, emotions were running high. The chapel was packed with Johnny's friends, both from inside and outside of the Department. After the family entered the chapel and everyone was again seated, the Fire Department Chaplain began to speak.
“Today, we come together, Johnny's family and friends, heartbroken and grieving, over the loss of one so young. Johnny was a dedicated firefighter/paramedic who didn't hesitate to risk his life, or even be willing to give it, if necessary, so that someone else might live. And that's just what he did a few days ago, although not at a fire, but as he and his partner Roy, not knowing what was about to take place, stopped a small store…a very unlikely place for a firefighter to get injured, but he took two bullets in an attempted robbery so a little girl might live. But that's the kind of man Johnny was, kind, thoughtful…always thinking of others before himself. But as sometimes happens, the job that Johnny loved asked of him to give his all, the ultimate sacrifice…his life, which he did, without thought or hesitation…and that one act to save a young child, no one will ever forget…not her parents, her friends…or this community. Is there anyone who would like to say a few words?”
After several tearful eulogies, one by Roy and another one by Johnny's brother Mark, the Department Chaplain got back up to say a few more words. The Chaplain paused, looking at the young firefighter's family and crewmates, who were sitting in the first two pews, grief-stricken and crying, then turned to look at the closed, flag-draped casket and continued.
“Johnny…you were a beloved son, brother, friend…a dedicated Firefighter/paramedic, a true and loyal partner and friend to Roy…and what you did, when you could have stepped back, not cared and thought only of your own safety, will never be forgotten. Rest in peace.”
Looking back out to those who were gathered, he said, “So to Johnny's family, including his family from the Fire Department, and his partner and crewmates from Station 51, our thoughts and prayers are with you all and may you find peace and comfort in the time of sorrow.”
Johnny's coffin was then carried outside to the awaiting Engine 51. Driving past the station for the last time, the funeral procession made their way to Parkside Cemetery . While Johnny's family had actually preferred to have him buried in Seattle , they knew that their son's life was now in Los Angeles , and felt it would be wrong to take him away from his second family.
At the cemetery, the somber ceremony for the death of a firefighter took place and Johnny's coffin was lowered into the ground, ending a very difficult morning. The flag was folded and handed to Johnny's mother, as Chief Hauts softly spoke.
“Mr. and Mrs. Gage, on behalf of the Los Angeles County Fire Department, I present to you this flag. Although not in the line of duty, Johnny gave his life, so that someone else might live. That sacrifice will never be forgotten.”
“Thank you.” Sarah quietly said.
After the funeral, a gathering was held at Hank and Carrie's house. Many people stopped by to offer their condolences to both of Johnny's families. As the hour approached 5PM, most of the visitors had left, except for Roy and his family who offered a tearful good-bye to Johnny's family.
The next morning Hank drove the Gages to the airport.
"Hank, thank you so much for everything...and especially for caring so much about Johnny. It really is comforting to know how much he meant to you and everyone here in LA."
"John, you're welcome. I just wish your family was here under different circumstances. I hope you all have a safe trip...and if you ever wanna talk, don't hesitate to call me."
Hank exchanged hugs with all the members of Johnny's family, and watched as they slowly made their way into the airport. When they disappeared from his view, he got back into his van and drove home. He knew the next few weeks would be extremely difficult, but he and the rest of his men would soon find out some news that would make things even more difficult to deal with.
******
A week and a half later, when 51's A-shift returned to duty, Doctor Brackett called the Station and asked if the crew could come by the hospital when they got off shift...he had news that they needed to hear. When the crew arrived at Rampart, they were met by Dixie .
" Dixie , what's this all about?" Cap asked.
"It's about...it's about Johnny. Kel and Joe heard from the Medical Examiner...it seems that something else...was found during the autopsy."
"What Dix? Tell us." Roy quickly said.
Shaking her head, Dixie replied, "Let's go to Kel's office...he'll fill you all in."
As the friends walked down the hall, there was a deafening silence between them.
** Did I miss somethin'...somethin' that cost Johnny his life **
As soon as Dixie mentioned that something was found during Johnny's autopsy, she knew that Roy was automatically blaming himself for Johnny's death...thinking that it was because of something that he had missed.
The rest of the crew was still having a hard time even thinking that Johnny was no longer with them. Hearing the word autopsy and Johnny's name in the same sentence was still very difficult for all of them to comprehend.
Approaching Doctor Brackett's door, Dixie knocked. Knowing it was 51's crew who had arrived, Kel opened the door.
"Fellas. Thanks Dix."
As soon as the door closed, Roy started with the questions.
"Doc...what...what's this about...Dix said that somethin' came up during Johnny's autopsy. Did...did I miss somethin' that cost Johnny his life?"
Kel let out a deep breath, as he said, "Actually...it was something we * all * missed. But Roy ...it wasn't your fault."
The other men in the room looked anxiously at the doctor. Roy was afraid to ask...he almost didn't want to know.
"What is it Doc? Just tell us.”
Kel was more than a bit nervous to explain what it was that * was * found during the autopsy.
"Well...Johnny...he didn't die from the gunshot wounds and all the internal damage and bleeding…not entirely anyway."
The men gathered in his office all looked at him questioningly.
"What are you talkin' about, not entirely...you said then that despite the fact that he ultimately lost too much blood, it was from his heart giving out that caused his death. So how can you say now that that isn't what he died from?"
Hank calmed his senior paramedic and asked, "What exactly did he die from Doctor Brackett?"
"Johnny…well, he died from a head injury. The M.E. thinks that Johnny may have been pushed violently into a wall or might have been hit, and it was hard enough that he may have been momentarily knocked unconscious. Chuck found blood around Johnny's brain…it was a ruptured blood vessel that had probably slowly been leaking from the impact…and finally ruptured when he was in ICU…he did slowly bleed to death, but not from the gunshots alone.”
Chet tried to comprehend what was just told to all of them.
"You mean, if Johnny hadn't hit his head...or been hit in the head…he would have survived his other injuries?"
Kel's infamous twitch started on his mouth...a sure sign that the news wasn't too good.
"Chet, I'm not saying that Johnny * wouldn't * have died any way, he had lost a lot of blood and there was some major internal damage done…but what I * am * saying is that Johnny * might * have survived his other injuries...or at least may have had a better chance at it if not for the head injury."
The news hit the other firefighters like the proverbial ton of bricks, but none more so than Roy , who now again started to blame himself for his best friend's death.
Kel and the others saw what this news was doing to Roy . They all wanted to help ease his guilt, but they knew that he was already having trouble accepting that Johnny was gone and now, here the news that it may have been from a head injury that was never diagnosed.
Looking around at his crew, Hank decided that it would be best for them all to leave and let Roy have a few minutes alone with Doctor Brackett.
"Uh, fellas...I...I think we should get going. Roy ...if...if you need to talk..."
Roy silently nodded his head.
“Thanks for lettin' us know Doc.”
“You're welcome Hank.”
After shaking the doctor's hand, Hank led his men out of the office. While they stood shocked for a few moments outside in the hallway, a devastated Roy DeSoto stood trembling on the other side of the office door.
Kel let out another deep breath, as he quietly said, " Roy ...we need to talk. Sit down."
Taking a seat in front of the desk, Roy said, "What's there to say, Doc? I killed my own best friend...there's no excuse for that. It's * my * fault that Johnny's not here any more."
Kel looked worriedly at the paramedic. He knew that there was an excellent chance that Roy , once hearing the news of what really fatally injured his partner, would blame himself. It was an emotion that he was grappling with himself, although not quite to the extremes that Roy was.
" Roy ...it wasn't your fault. How could you have known about Johnny's head injury? He was practically bleeding out from several severe gunshot wounds to his abdomen...along with the punctured lung and him being in respiratory distress. You did everything exactly right...you treated him for the gunshots...and you should have."
Shaking his head, Roy replied, "No Doc...it is my fault...I should'a asked him...should have found out if there was any other problems or if he hurt anywhere else. I should'a done something more."
“ Roy ...don't do this to yourself."
"Don't do what...blame myself for my best friend's death...why not? I'm as good a person to blame as anyone...probably more so. I was there, I couldn't get to ‘im…and because of that …Johnny's dead. So why not blame me…I'm sure his family does."
"No Roy, John and Sarah do not blame you for what happened to Johnny. If anyone's to blame it's those two men who held up the store and shot Johnny…* they're * the ones who killed him...not you."
Roy was confused, as he asked, "But...but you said that he died from a head injury."
Sitting on the edge of his desk, Kel folded his arms across his chest, and said, "Ultimately yes, he did died from a head injury, which they caused…somehow…but all the bleeding and trauma from the gunshot wounds and the internal damage also contributed to his death. But you did the right thing Roy, you did everything any other paramedic…including Johnny himself…or any Doctor would have done in the very same situation and with the exact same information you had at the time…and there's no question in my mind about that. Johnny was unconscious for a good part of the time that you were treating him...right…so how would you have known about it? He was already so weak from the blood loss."
"I * should * have known...I should have known. When he...he started talkin' about angels and heaven and seein' a bright light…I assumed it was because he...he thought that he was dyin'...but...but maybe he...he was just talkin' outta his head...maybe it was a sign that I just missed."
Seeing that he wasn't getting through to his friend, Kel said, " Roy , I don't know how else..."
Before Kel could finish his sentence, his phone rang.
"Hello…yes…okay, I'll be right there."
As Kel hung up the phone, he knew he needed to stay and talk more with Roy ...but right now, a patient needed him more.
Getting up and walking around the desk, Kel stood by his friend, placing his hand on his shoulder before saying anything.
" Roy , I'm needed in treatment 2, but I want you to listen to me...and listen good. You're sitting here, blaming yourself for missing Johnny's head injury...well two other people missed it besides you...me and Joe...and we're supposed to be the Doctors...we're supposed to think of things like that...but we didn't…we didn't see any need for ordering a skull series…so if you're to blame, we * all * are. And think about something else...Johnny would not want you to blame yourself over something that you knew nothing about. I gotta go, I'll talk to you again later."
After Doctor Brackett left his office, Roy continued to sit there, numbed by the recent news.
Softly speaking out loud, Roy said, "Right or wrong, it doesn't make it right Doc...Johnny... Johnny's still dead."
Roy sat there for a moment longer, still in disbelief, hearing that his best friend died from something other than his internal injuries...and he couldn't help but feel responsible, in spite of what Brackett had just told him.
After sitting numbly in Brackett's office for a few more moments, Roy knew what he had to do. Getting up from where he was sitting, he headed out the door and as he walked slowly down the hallway, he made his way to the ER entrance, passing a very concerned Dixie McCall on the way.
The nurse wanted to reach out to him...to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay. But she knew as well as everyone else that it would be quite awhile before Roy would be “okay”...if at all. She could only watch as a very distraught Roy DeSoto passed by her.
Roy got into his car and drove to his destination... Parkside Cemetery . Pulling up to the area where his best friend was laid to rest, he got out of his car and walked over to Johnny's grave.
Looking sadly at the tombstone, he could no longer hold back his tears.
"Oh Junior, I am so sorry. I...I feel like I killed ya, just as much as if I took that gun and shot you myself. I had no idea about your head injury...why didn't you say something to me about it…why didn't I even think about the possibility that you may have had a head injury? Brackett says that maybe...maybe you'd still be here with us if someone had caught it…how am I gonna go on knowing that I contributed to your death…you were my best friend, Junior...and my partner...I was supposed to have your back...to protect you...but instead...I let you walk into that store...and I missed diagnosing your head injury. I feel like a failure...some paramedic I turned out to be...shouldn't even be wearin' the badge. I'm not even gonna ask for your forgiveness, because I don't deserve it. I miss you so much."
Roy continued his one-sided conversation with his best friend, for another hour. Once he decided that he had nothing else to say, he got back in his car. Unsure of where to go and what to do, he headed to the only place he could think of...a place where he wouldn't be judged.
As Roy pulled up to the Hook and Ladder Bar and Grill and got out of his car, his attention was immediately drawn to the flag on top of the building…it was flying half staff…he knew that he, along with other firefighters who frequented the establishment, had seen the flag at half staff many times, in memory of all the firefighters who gave their lives in the line of duty… but this time, it hit closer to home than the others…this time it was in memory of * his * partner and best friend
Entering the bar, he saw Sam, the bartender, behind the bar.
Softly, Sam said, “Hey Roy …man, I'm sorry about what happened to Johnny…he was a good guy and…and we're gonna miss seein' him in here. If you need anything, just let me know.”
“Thanks Sam.”
As Roy walked over and sat down at a corner table, he knew that he had no one at home to worry about since Joanne and the kids were out of town. She had insisted on giving Roy a few days to himself he figured he might as well get drunk...maybe try and lessen the pain of his best friend's death.
The waitress came over to him…she was very pretty...about 5"4 with long brown hair, green eyes and a warm smile…she was just Johnny's type and that made Roy miss his partner even more.
"What can I get you?" Looking closely at Roy , she realized that he was the paramedic whose partner had just died a week and a half earlier. "Uh, I'm sorry, you're the one everyone's been talking about...the one who..."
Roy nodded his head slowly, and replied, "The one who killed his best friend…yeah...that's me."
The bartender, who was a retired firefighter, came over to Roy 's table.
"Melanie, I'll take care of him." After the waitress left, the man sat down across from the paramedic. " Roy I know you're hurtin' but..."
"But what Sam?"
Roy was annoyed…he had come to the bar to down a few drinks and forget about his pain for awhile...he wanted to feel absolutely nothing. But here was Sam trying to assume he knew what was going on inside of Roy 's head, when all he wanted was to be left alone.
" Roy ..."
"Get me a bottle of Jack Daniels Sam…I'm gonna do a little drinkin'...and I can do without any lectures. No one knows how I feel...and right now...I don't wanna feel a damn thing."
Listening to the paramedic, Sam nodded his head and left to get the bottle. Returning to Roy 's table, he put the bottle down on the table and handed the paramedic a glass. He could only imagine the pain that Roy was in from the death of his partner, but he had seen this scene play out before him more times than he cared to count...he even experienced it a few times himself.
He could only watch as the paramedic self-destructed, then he would call Hank and watch as the Captain helped Roy to pick up the pieces. He knew the scene by heart.
Sure enough, Roy drank himself into a stupor. Sam had offered the paramedic some sandwiches and coffee, but was turned down flat. As the hour approached 8PM, he decided to call Hank.
A half an hour later, a worried Captain Stanley entered the bar.
"He's back there Hank. He's...he's not doin' too good." Sam softly said.
In the same quiet voice, Hank replied, "Thanks for callin' me Sam...I'll take care of him. After all, isn't that would good Captains do?"
Sam nodded his head. Things were playing out just as he knew they would...and it always broke his heart. He knew how close Roy and Johnny were. The two paramedics didn't spend a lot of time at the Bar and Grill, but whenever they did come, he enjoyed talking to them...and got to know them both pretty well.
Hank approached the paramedic quietly.
" Roy ."
Roy looked up at his boss with unfocused bloodshot eyes, and asked, "Cap?"
"Yeah, it's me Roy, I'm here to take you home. Come on."
"Cap...he's...he's dead...Johnny's really gone…I killed him."
Sitting in a chair next to Roy , Hank said, " Roy ...you did no such thing. Those robbers killed him."
"No...* I * did…I stopped at the store...and I didn't know about his head injury."
"And neither did the Doctors. Roy , what do ya say I get you outta here? You'll come home with me, and let me and Carrie take care of you for a couple days. Sound okay to you pal?"
Hank was met by an indecipherable mumble.
"I'll take that as a yes."
Sam helped Hank get the paramedic to his feet and out into the car.
"I'll make sure Roy 's car gets to your house Hank. Take care of him."
"I will Sam...thanks again for callin' me."
In the car on the way back to Hank's house, Roy continued to ramble. Hank was concerned at the bits and pieces that he was able to pick up. He heard Roy mention something about quitting, and something else about seeing Johnny again soon. The Captain knew Roy had a long way to go as far as being able to deal with Johnny's death.
Arriving home, Hank was able to walk Roy inside the house and into one of the spare guestrooms. Getting Roy settled into bed, Hank stood for a moment watching his friend sleep it off.
Walking over to the bedroom window, Hank pulled back the curtain and looked up at the stars in the sky.
As he looked up to the heavens, he quietly said, “Johnny…look out for Roy pal…he misses you so much and he blames himself…just help him to be okay.”
Letting the curtain fall back into place, Hank turned, quietly walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.
The End