Silver Lining

by Lisa Damiani

Johnny rolled over and looked at the alarm clock. 7am. "I guess I should get up," he thought to himself. "Maria will be hungry. She's always hungry." Just then Johnny felt a tug on his blanket. He rolled back around and was confronted with his wife's still sleeping face.

She unconsciously rolled over and now her back was to him. Johnny snuggled up behind her and nuzzled his face in her long dark hair. He loved the smell of her hair. He then put his arm around her waist. These days, it didn't go all around. Johnny rested his hand on Maria's round belly. He was hoping to feel the baby kick.

Johnny thought back to when he and Maria first met. He and his partner, Roywere flying back to L.A. from San Fransico. They were doing a paramedic demonstration. John could not keep from staring at the gorgeous brunette sitting in the aisle across and two rows ahead of his seat. Roy, noticing his partner's lack of conversation, tried to convince him he should just go up and talk to her. "But would I possibly have to say to her?" was his retort.

"Introduce yourself and ask her to marry you." Roy said teasingly. He added, "Better move quick, we land in 20 minutes."

John made up his mind. If in 20 minutes they landed and he had never had the chance to talk to her, he might never see her again. He'd never forgive himself if that happened. So he unfastened his safety belt and headed up the aisle.

"Hi, my name is John. I couldn't help but notice...." At that moment the plane hit an air pocket and jerked downward. Johnny lost his footing and fell...Right into the unsuspecting woman's lap. Obviously embarrassed and not knowing what to say, his mouth sputtered the only thing it remembered from his partner's advice. "Will you marry me?" he asked.

"Well, since you are on one knee and everything, I guess I have to accept." she said then let out a laugh. She extended her hand in front of Johnny's face and giggled, "My name is Maria."

Johnny got up and sat down in the empty seat next to her. After they had landed, Roy's wife Joanne met them at the gate and offered both John and Maria a lift. They declined, opting instead to share a cab home. Shortly after that, they began dating and the rest was history.

Johnny suddenly felt a kick from his wife's stomach. Waking up from his day dream he focused his attention back to Maria's belly. "Any time now," he whispered.

The sound of Johnny's voice stirred Maria. She turned back around to face her husband. "Good morning," she smiled.

"Good morning, sunshine," Johnny smiled back. He then leaned in to give her a soft kiss. "Is my son ready to come out and meet his pop yet?" Johnny asked Maria.

"Not yet, but soon, I think," replied Maria. "You realize of course, you may be meeting a daughter, right?" she asked her husband with mischief in her voice.

"Look babe, I've seen alot of pregnant women in my job and I've delivered quite a few of their babies. I know what's inside just by looking!" he answered her with mock authority.

"Well, we'll know soon enough, Doctor. Now how about some breakfast, me and the little one are starving!" she said as she rubbed her stomach.

"Coming right up." Johnny said as he climbed out of bed and grabbed his robe. "What'll it be? Eggs, pancakes, or french toast?" Johnny asked.

"You know what I'm in the mood for, honey?" Maria looked at Johnny. He replied, "With all the crazy concoctions I've seen you eat these last 9 months, I'd have to be a mind reader."

Maria continued ignoring her husbands last chide, "I want that chili bean and cheese enchilada thing that Marco made at the last fireman's picnic."

"You can't be serious, sweetheart. It's 7am! It's a little early for chili. It'll upset your stomach." John pleaded.

Maria stood her ground. She sat up in bed and said in a very stern voice, "I WANT CHILI, I WANT BEANS, I WANT CHEESE, AND I WANT THEM WRAPPED IN AN ENCHILADA."

Johnny knew that all business voice all too well. The "argument" was over and she had won, as always. "O.K." Johnny said, his voice laced with defeat. He headed out towards the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later, a showered and dressed Maria joined Johnny in the kitchen. As ordered, he had prepared her breakfast. For himself, he made a pot of coffee.

"I sure hope Johnny Jr. doesn't wait too much longer. I only have two days left of my vacation." Johnny said as he bit into a jelly doughnut and washed it down with a slug of his coffee. "Yes, that was sure nice of Dwyer to switch vacation weeks with you so you could be with me so close to my due date." Maria began to stuff her face with the enchilada.

The two sat and made idle chit chat until suddenly Maria dropped her fork and looked straight into Johnny's eyes. Johnny, noticing the anxiety in her face, almost dropped his coffee cup. He reached out his hand and put it on top of hers. "What is it?" he asked with concern.

"Well, John, apparently Junior here agrees with you."

"What?" John asked, now confused.

"7:30 is too early to eat chili enchiladas. He wants to come out right now and tell you himself!" Maria started to breathe heavy.

"Oh, my God!" Johnny shouted. He jumped out of his chair so fast that it fell to the floor making a huge crashing sound. "Labor! You're in labor?! How do you feel, are you O.K.? How far apart are the contractions? Can you breathe O.K.? Are you light headed or anything? Do you need a glass of water?" Johnny's questions were interrupted as Maria put her hand around Johnny's arm and pulled him to her chair. With her free hand she covered his mouth.

"What I NEED is for you to shut up and get dressed. Then, I NEED you to take me to the hospital. Do you think you can calm down long enough to do that or should I just call a cab?" Maria's tone was hot. She didn't mean to snap at her husband, but now that the time to give birth to her first child was upon her, she was getting nervous. The one thing she counted on was that Johnny, who had done this so many times before, would be calm when the time came and help her through this. His constant rantings were making her more nervous.

"Right!" Johnny quickly replied as he headed upstairs to their bedroom. The whole time yelling, "I'm going to be a father!, I'm going to be a father!"

Maria laughed silently to herself. "Mr. Joe Cool, my ass," she said as she looked at her watch and started timing her contractions.

*********

Within 10 minutes Johnny was dressed and was ushering Maria to the car. She slid into the passenger's seat and Johnny flew into the driver's side. They took off down the 405 heading for Rampart.

Johnny was driving in the left lane doing way more than the speed limit. The whole time he kept his eyes on the road but his right hand was locked in Maria's tight grip. He kept reassuring her in soothing tones, "It's going to be alright, we'll be at the hospital any minute now."

Out of the corner of his eye, Johnny noticed the car on his right begin to slide to it's left changing into Johnny's lane. Unfortunately, Johnny's car was not far enough behind. About 3 feet of the back of the car changing lanes overlapped the front 3 feet of Johnny's car. Johnny managed to free his right hand from Maria and he pounded on the horn.

"I don't think he sees me!" Johnny yelled. The car did not stop its leftward sway. To avoid collision, Johnny instinctively jerked the wheel to the left. The sudden jerk coupled with the advanced speed caused Johnny's car to fishtail into the left side emergency lane. To compensate, Johnny jerked the wheel to the right. The car fishtailed to the right in response. Johnny kept trying to compensate for the fishtails but it was no use. He was losing control of the car and was swaying in and out of three lanes of traffic.

All of a sudden, there was a loud crash. The car that was riding behind Johnny on the right was unable to avoid Johnny's swaying car. He slammed into the passenger's side of Johnny's Land Rover. The impact hit the passenger side door of the Land Rover. This sent Johnny's car spinning counter-clockwise. It finally stopped when it hit the left guardrail.

The Land Rover spun almost two rotations. It was positioned on the same line as the 405 but faced the oncoming traffic. A car in the left lane saw the Land Rover spiraling into his lane.

The driver slammed on his brakes. His brakes locked and it was difficult to steer his car. It drifted to the left. The screeching car hit the front driver's side of Johnny's Land Rover. The impact pushed the Land Rover several feet backward until both cars finally came to a stop.

Johnny was not wearing his seatbelt. His head had slammed back into the seat and then his body bounced forward crashing Johnny's head into the windshield. The steering wheel had also been pushed forward by the second hit and was now pinning Johnny to his seat.

Maria's condition was even worse. The first hit had crushed her car door into her. When they hit the guardrail, the guardrail managed to lodge itself into the door. When the second car hit them, the door of the Land Rover was ripped from its hinges and stayed fastened to where it was locked into the rail. Maria's right side hung out of the Land Rover as she was dragged along the remaining guardrail.

********

After the screeching stopped, Johnny shook his head. He tried to focus on what had happened but his head was killing him. He was fighting to stay conscious, and was losing the battle. His vision blurred into a red haze. His eyes stung when he opened them. Suddenly he remembered Maria going into labor and where they were going. He spun his head quickly to the right and instantly became sick to his stomach.Maria was hanging out her door only strapped in by her lap belt. He couldn't see her face but what he could see was her blood stained blouse and matted hair. He didn't have much mobility because the steering wheel had him pinned in place.

He was able to reach her left arm with his hand. He gently pulled her back into the car. "Maria, can you hear me?" Maria groaned slightly. Relieved that Maria was still alive, Johnny continued, "O.K., baby, hang in there. Help will be here soon."

Maria tried to look at him. But she could not open her eyes. Her entire body hurt and she could feel her life draining out from herself. She tried to speak. "Johnny?...I....don't...think...I...can...."

But Johnny interrupted her speaking in an equally labored tone, "Shh, don't talk. Save your strength. We'll be out of here soon." With that said, Johnny blacked out.

********

The tones sounded at Station 51. The dispatcher's voice came through the speaker: "Station 51, motor vehicle accident, multiple cars involved. Heading north on the 405 between exits 3 and 4. That's heading north on the 405 between exits 3 and 4."

Captain Stanley headed for the mic and acknowledged the call. "10-4, Station 51, KMG-365" After handing a sheet of paper containing the accident location to Roy, he ran for the Engine. Roy passed the paper to his temporary partner Dwyer. The two emergency vehicles made their way out into traffic as they raced toward the accident.

*******

Squad 51 made it to the accident in record time. They were followed closely behind by the Engine. The scene in front of them was one car pulled along the side of the right emergency lane and two cars pulled to the left emergency lane. The driver of the car on the right was out of his car and talking to an officer. There was severe damage to the front of his car but he appeared to be O.K.

The driver of one of the cars on the left was also out of his vehicle. He and officer Vince Howard were leaning into the third car, a Land Rover. Both men were trying to pry open the driver's side door.

Roy and Dwyer hopped out of the squad and ran for their equipment. The men of Engine 51 ran towards the third car. They were shocked as they neared the vehicle and recognized the driver and passenger.

"Oh my God!" Captain Stanley cried out. He picked up his speed as he ran to assess the situation.

Roy was just behind the Engine crew. As he made his way towards the wreck, his heart sank as he realized the make and model of the badly damaged car. "Oh no, please God not..." But his voice trailed off as his silent prayer was ignored. The driver's face was half obstructed by the men trying to pull the door open and the other half was covered in blood. But Roy could not mistake the face of his partner and best friend, John Gage. He hoped with all his might that Maria was not the passenger. But again, his prayers were unanswered.

Captain Stanley ran up to the first man. Pulling his shoulders back he said, "O.K., pal. Let the fireman through so they can do their job. Thank you for your help but it would be better if we take it from here.Why don't you go sit by your car." The man peeled away from the wreck and let the firemen through. Captain Stanley walked him back to his car. "Are you all right, sir?" Stanley asked.

The man stammered, "I'm fine. I'm so sorry, I couldn't avoid them. They were swerving into my lane. I tried, I really tried..." He then cupped his face into his hands and began to shake.

The Cap put a hand on his shoulder, "Look, pal, just stay here and try to get yourself together. We'll do everything we can to help them." With that, he ran over to where Chet and Marco stood near Johnny's Land Rover.

"Chet, get an inch an a half and wash down this gas. Marco, pull out the battery cables." ordered Stanley.

"Right Cap," came both men's reply as Chet headed back to the Engine and Marco for the Land Rover's hood.

Vince let Roy replace him at the driver's side door. Roy was trying to open the door. It was no use, it wasn't budging. Dwyer was attempting to get at Maria but was having about as much luck as Roy. Roy hollered to Dwyer, "It's no good Bert, we need the jaws. After we get Johnny out, we can get to Maria from this side." Roy began to turn to run back to the Engine but stopped short when he saw Engineer Mike Stoker heading his way with pry bars and the jaws already in hand. Roy turned back to Johnny, "Johnny, can you hear me? We're here now and we'll have you out in a couple of minutes."

Johnny began to stir as he heard Roy's voice. He suddenly became animated. "No, Roy...not me....Maria...baby...."

"O.K. John," Roy reassured him, "We'll get to them as soon as we get you out of here."

Johnny became more agitated, "NO, Roy,...Maria...baby...FIRST.....PLEASE!" Roy explained to Johnny, "We can't get to her, Johnny. We need to pull you out first." But his words fell on deaf ears as Johnny had fallen back into unconsciousness.

Mike Stoker came up behind Roy with the equipment in hand. He handed the pry bars to Roy. Stoker instructed Roy, "You work on the door, I'll use the jaws to get the steering wheel off of his legs." Marco had run and got a blanket from the squad. As soon as Roy jimmied the door open, Marco placed the blanket over John in case any remaining windshield glass should fall while Mike used the jaws.

Dwyer in the meantime opened the line to Rampart. He said into the biophone, "Rampart this is Squad 51, how do you read?"

"Squad 51, we read you loud and clear, go ahead." came Dixie McCall's voice over the link.

Dwyer made his report, "Rampart we have a multiple vehicle accident. We have 4 victims. Both victims 1 and 2 have minor lacerations. They are up and walking and appear to be coherent. Victim 3 is male, age 35. Multiple lacerations to his face and arms due to windshield impact. He also has a deep cut on his forehead. He is currently pinned under the wheel and is unconscious. We are extricating him now, Rampart. Victim 4 is female, age approximately 32. She is in her third trimester of pregnancy. She has multiple bruises and lacerations to the right side of her body. She is currently unconscious."

Dr. Early's voice crackled over the biophone, "51, do have any vitals for victims 3 and 4?"

"Negative, Rampart, we are getting the driver out now, we can't even reach the woman yet. We'll keep you advised," came Dwyer's response.

"10-4, 51. Keep us posted," said Dr. Early his voice tainted with worry.

By now Roy had the door open and was checking Johnny's pulse and respirations. Stoker had been working on the steering wheel. "Try it now, Roy," Stoker yelled.

Roy slid his arms around Johnny's torso. He believed Johnny was free of the steering column. "O.K., Mike, that ought to do it. Marco, go get me the 2 backboards from the squad," Roy said. One minute later Marco returned with the backboards. Roy again slipped in behind Johnny and with help from Marco, they were able to pull him from the wreck and put him onto the backboard.

Dwyer finished his exam of Johnny while Roy now focused on getting to Maria.

"Maria," he called out. "Can you hear me?" There was no response. Roy quickly reached his fingers to the side of Maria's neck. He was desperately praying that he would feel a vibration. For the third time that day, Roy's prayers were unanswered. He began to curse the Almighty Himself as tears began to well up inside him. But Roy knew that he could not grieve now, there was still much to do. Quickly, he jumped out of the Land Rover and retrieved his stethoscope. Now back at Maria's side, he started listening for fetal heart tones. "C'mon God," he said angrily. "You owe me, damnit!"

Roy didn't know how in all this wreckage and especially in Maria's condition, an infant could have survived. He couldn't believe it when he was actually able to detect a weak, but definite heartbeat from Maria's belly. He quickly put his arms around her torso and pulled her out of the wreck. He layed her down onto the remaining backboard. He yelled to Marco, "Quick Marco, grab the other end of this stretcher. Let's get her into an ambulance FAST". Marco complied and the two men darted for one of the awaiting ambulances.

As this was happening, Dwyer was joined by Captain Stanley. Dwyer was reporting John's injuries as the Cap relayed them to Rampart. Stanley spoke into the biophone, "Rampart, pulse is rapid and weak. Respirations are shallow and labored. B.P. is 90 over 60. Skin is cool and moist. Pupils are equal and reactive. We suspect broken left tibula, fractures to ribs. There is also a possibility of glass in the eyes."

Dr. Early took in all the information. "51, start an I.V. with Lactated Ringers. Immobilize left leg fracture. Do not irrigate eyes. You may do more damage. Wrap the eyes in sterile bandages and transport as soon as possible. What is the status of your other three victims?"

Captain Stanley continued, "Victims one and two have refused treatment. They are going to their respective family doctors. Roy is with victim four. Stand by."

Now inside the ambulance, Roy began to prep for delivery. Marco ran to get a second biophone and the OB kit from the squad.

In no time Marco returned and Roy was in communication with the hospital. "Rampart, This is Squad 51. I have an update on victim four.She is D.O.A. but I am able to detect fetal heart tones. I'm preparing to extract the baby now." Roy said.

Early was very concerned. "O.K. 51, I concur with delivery. Apply pressure to upper quadrant until the baby crowns. Post delivery be sure to wrap in sterile sheets making sure the baby is warm. Start an I.V. normal saline TKO. Also, administer 1 liter oxygen. Transport as soon as possible. We'll keep the line open, keep us advised of your progress."

Roy responded, "10-4 Rampart."

*******

Johnny began to feel his body again. He tried to open his eyes but couldn't. They were taped shut somehow. Panicking, he started to reach for the bandages. Nurse Dixie McCall saw her patient about to do himself harm. She ran to him. She grabbed his hands and put them down to his side. "Now Johnny, don't go ripping off bandages that we spent so much time putting on." she said.

"Dix?" Johnny croaked. "What happened, where's Maria?"

Dixie didn't want to upset Johnny by telling him about Maria. "Johnny, let's concentrate on you, O.K.? Now that you're awake we need to run some tests and get your eyes looked at."

"Dix, don't patronize me! I want to know where Maria is and how is our baby?" Johnny demanded.

"I'm sorry, John, I don't have any information for you." Dixie lied. "Why don't we get you taken care of and I'll see what I can find out."

Dixie left the room. Johnny was waiting for a doctor when a nurse came in to take his vital signs. "Glad to see you're awake, Mr. Gage." the student nurse piped up.

"Nurse," Johnny began, "How is my wife, Maria?"

The nurse's face changed to an expression of sadness and sympathy. She took hold of Johnny's hand to give him moral support."I'm sorry," she began.

But Johnny had heard enough. He snapped his hand out of hers. Those two words alone were enough to make Johnny want to die. His reason for living now gone. The nurse tried to continue her answer when Johnny cut her off. "Nurse, I want to be alone now. Please leave." Johnny's voice was trying to sound calm but was trembling with rage and sadness.He was holding back every emotion he had.

The nurse hesitated but then decided to leave, letting the man grieve alone.

After Johnny heard the door shut, he cried. His eyes hurt with every tear. He was certain there were some glass fragments in his eyes. But he couldn't hold back. At this moment, he didn't care if he ever saw again.

His mind thought back to the last conversation he and Maria had in the Land Rover after the accident. He said aloud through sobs, "She was alive, damnit! She had to be alive when you got there. How could you let her die, Roy?"

*******

Roy had been waiting outside Johnny's room. It had been over an hour since he had woke up and the doctor was still in there running tests. He put down the magazine he was pretending to read and stood up. He began to pace outside Johnny's room as if that would speed things up. Just then, Doctor Early emerged from Johnny's room. Roy ran over to him. "How is he, Doc?" he asked.

Early replied, "Under the circumstances, I guess he doing well. He has a concussion, his left leg is broken, and he's got two cracked ribs. We've removed the bandages from his eye's and extracted any remaining glass fragments. His vision will be back to normal in a day or so."

Roy let out the breath he had been holding. But he could tell from Dr. Early's expression there was more. "What else?" he asked.

Joe put his hands in his pockets and fell back against the wall. He let out a sigh. "He's not being very cooperative, Roy. He didn't say but one word the whole time I was in there. He kept nodding his answers to me. It was like he didn't care anymore."

"Has anyone told him about Maria or the baby?" Roy asked. "Dix said he was asking questions when he first woke up but she avoided them. We're going to tell him when he's a little stronger. Especially now with his current mental attitude." Dr. Early replied.

"Can I see him?" Roy asked.

"O.K., but only for a few minutes. He needs his rest. I hope you can get through to him Roy. But please don't upset him." Dr. Early said as he put his hand on Roy's arm and then turned to leave.

Roy stood outside the door for a moment collecting his thoughts. He tried to smile as he finally got up the nerve to walk through the door.

"Hey partner!" Roy tried to sound cheerful. Roy immediately ducked as he saw a glass pitcher come flying towards him. It just missed him by 6 inches.

"How dare you show your face in here!" Johnny was yelling at him.

"What?" Roy stammered.

"How dare you come in here like we're best buddies after what you let happen. I can't believe I ever trusted you, Roy!" Johnny's words were flying out of his mouth with rage and fury.

"Johnny, I don't know what your talking about." Roy said carefully.

Johnny continued his tirade. "I asked you, NO, I BEGGED YOU to take care of Maria first. She was ALIVE, Roy! I was talking to her. But no, you weren't concerned about her were you. You just wanted to make sure you wouldn't be getting Brice as a permanent partner. You're so goddamned selfish, ya know that!"

"You've heard about Maria?" Roy's voice was low.

"You're damned right I heard about Maria," Johnny yelled.

"Roy began to explain as he walked closer to Johnny's bed. "Look Johnny, I don't know what you were told or how much you remember about the accident but let me tell you how it happened. We couldn't get to her without getting...." Roy stopped in his tracks as he saw Johnny reach for the phone next to his bed. He grabbed it and gave it a yank, pulling it's cord from the wall. Roy could tell he was aiming to throw it at him.

"I've heard all I want to hear from you, DeSoto. Now get the hell out of my room, NOW! And while you're at it, stay the hell out of my life!" The look on Johnny's face was absolute rage.

Roy took a chance and held his ground. "I can't believe what I'm hearing! Johnny, I'm your best friend. I love you like my own flesh and blood. And you also should know how deeply I cared for Maria. I'd have done anything to have been able to save her life."

But Johnny was not listening. Instead, he wielded the phone he was still holding back ready to toss it at Roy. Roy seeing that talking to Johnny while he was in this frame of mind wasn't doing anyone any good. He would have to tell him about Maria and the baby after he had cooled down. Hurt from Johnny's accusations, he turned and left the room.

******

The next day Dr. Brackett was making his rounds. He stopped in front of Johnny's door. The day Johnny was in the accident just happened to be one of his few days off. So he had not had a chance to talk to him yet.He patted his jacket pocket making sure he brought with him the "gift" for Johnny. Then he walked into the room. Johnny was sitting up, just staring into space.

"Hi, Johnny," Brackett chimed out.

Johnny just stared at him like he was an alien. "Hi, yourself," he replied.

"Look, Johnny, I know this is a really hard time for you in your life. And I know I'll never really understand how you feel unless something like this happens to me. But I just wanted to let you know that even in this great time of sorrow and grief, you're not alone. Here at Rampart,we've come to think of you as family. Hell, you're a patient here more than a visiting paramedic."

Johnny tried to smile. Brackett continued, "So what I'm getting at is this, if you need to talk, please don't hesitate to pull any of us aside. And of course you know the guys at the station think of you as their brother. There's been a bunch of them in and out of here since the accident trying to see you. I've heard you won't see any of them. And Roy hasn't left this hospital since they brought you in yesterday. He's especially worried about you. Do you want to tell me why you're avoiding them?" Brackett's voice contained true concern for his friend.

"They treat me more like the company mascot than as a brother. I don't want to see anyone associated with 51 ever again. Especially Roy!" Johnny said with emphasis. "He let her die, Doc! I trusted him- and he let her die!"

"Johnny, even if Maria was alive when 51 brought her into the hospital, her injuries were so severe, I'm not sure we would have been able to do anything for her. And as for your animosity towards Roy...I think you ought to be very grateful to him for what he did. I heard the tapes. That delivery would have been tough for a trained doctor, let alone a paramedic. I'm not even sure any other paramedic would have pulled it off. Every minute, a new complication arose and it was looking really hopeless. But your partner, your best friend, he never gave up. He tackled each new problem without slowing down once." Brackett said.

Johnny's face lit up with an expression of confusion and excitement. "What are you telling me, Doc?" he asked.

Brackett looked confused. "You mean, you don't know? I had assumed Roy told you."

"To be honest, I didn't hear a word Roy said to me yesterday. Now tell me...please!"

Brackett reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigar. He said, "Well then, let me be the first to congratulate you on the birth of your son! I know you think Maria is gone, but believe me, that little boy in the nursery is a spitting image of her. And that baby needs his father more than ever right now. So I think it's time you stop acting like a wounded duck and started acting like a father. Sure, it's going to hurt for a while every time you look at him and see her face, but you can't look at it like that. You have to focus on the positive side. That you still have a living, breathing memory of her."

Johnny stammered, "Oh my God, I had no idea....I assumed....when can I see him?...My son!...I have a son!" But as fast as his excitement grew,it suddenly stopped. "Oh, Doc, I was horrible to Roy...I didn't know...how could I have been so damned pig headed? How can I ever face him again?" Johnny put his face in his hands and began to cry. He was overcome with grief for Maria, joy for his newborn son and guilt for how he had treated his best friend.

"Roy will understand, Johnny." Brackett said putting his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "The fact that he's still here proves that. Now why don't you relax awhile and I'll see if I can get a nurse to bring you your son." Brackett got up to leave. As he headed for the door he stopped and turned around. "Y'know, he may have Maria's looks but he definitely has Gage charm. The nurses can't stop making goo goo eye's at him either!" With that Brackett left.

********

A half hour had passed since Brackett's visit. It felt like a year. Johnny was so anxious to see his son, he was about ready to go to the nursery himself when he heard a knock at the door. "Come in," he shouted out.

"You don't have any projectiles in your hand, do you?" Johnny recognized Roy's voice.

"Please, Roy, come in...I...." Johnny's voice trailed off as his partner entered the room wheeling in a portable crib.

"Is...Is that....my...?" Johnny stuttered.

"It sure is, Dad!" Roy was smiling broadly as he picked the child up and handed him to his father.

Johnny couldn't take his eyes off the sleeping infant. "He's so perfect," he finally said. "He looks so much like her, Roy. I wish Maria could be here to see him." Just then Johnny looked up from his son.

"Roy, I don't know how to thank you....yesterday, I was so awful to you....I didn't know till today all you had done....And even then that's no excuse. I know you better than that. I'll never be able to forgive myself for the way I treated you..."

Johnny's apologies were cut off as Roy put his hand up. Roy knew Gage's pride well enough to know that apologies were especially hard for him. Even those few words had to have taken all Johnny had to spit them out. No matter how hurt Roy was at John's earlier remarks, he didn'tsee the worth in making him suffer for what he said while still grieving the loss of his wife. Johnny had been through enough.

"Johnny, there's no need to apologize. You were going through a lot. may have acted the same way had the roles been reversed. Believe me, partner, I don't need you to tell me about your irrational temper tantrums." Johnny laughed slightly at the last remark. Roy sat down on the bed next to Johnny. He put his finger underneath the tiny hand of the infant. "I guess we'll call you, Junior Squared!, huh Junior?" he said as his eye's shifted from the baby to Johnny.

Johnny positioned the baby so that his head was facing Roy. "Junior, meet your Uncle Roy. He's sort of your daddy's big brother. So don't get nervous if you see him knocking some sense into me from time to time. Sometimes your daddy can be so pig headed that he needs someone to remove the foot from his mouth. And that's what big brothers do." Johnny gave Roy a crooked smile, one Roy knew so well.

Roy said to Johnny, "Tell you what, partner. Name the kid Roy and we'll call it even."

Johnny stared at his best friend and tried to look as though he was considering the request.

Roy began to laugh out loud. John, now sensing that Roy was teasing, or so he hoped, joined in the laughter.

************

"Silver Lining" ©1999 Lisa Damiani. "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.

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