A SHIRT FOR A HAT
Daylight Monday morning dawned bright and early for Hank Stanley, but he was already up. He really hadn't slept much the night before. Today was his first day as Engineer for Station 86. He was very nervous because he was going to a new station with a new job, would be driving a brand new engine, and there was also a brand new Captain at 86. Also, he was a brand new father. Two weeks ago his wife had given birth to their first child, and now he was ready to go to his new assignment. But, he wasn't too sure about his new Captain.
McConnikee was his name. He'd been around a long time. Rumor had it he'd be taking the Chiefs exam soon. Unfortunately, it wasn't soon enough for Hank. McConnikee was tough and expected excellence from his men. Hank had no problem with that, but Mac had been a firefighter with Hank when Hank first joined the Department. They never really got along. They all worked well together, but Mac was always pulling stunts and making Hank look foolish in front of the other guys and their Captain.
One morning back in "68 Hank had stopped for gas on his way to work. He got out of the car to go get some coffee while the attendant serviced the car. On the way back, he walked past the attendant when he took the hose out and some gas sprayed Hank. After apologizing profusely, the man helped wipe off Hanks shirt, and then Hank went on to work.
After changing into his uniform, he still had about 15 minutes before roll call and he went in the kitchen and sat at the table with the other guys. He noticed that Mac was missing but didn't think much about it.
About 7:55 Mac comes in with a bundle of what looks like old clothes and old rags.
McConnikee says to the others "Hey, guys! Cap wants us to burn this old stuff out back. Anybody want help?"
Everyone says no, but Hank decides that he will help. So, he goes out back with Mac, who throws the stuff down on the driveway, and pours what appears to be gasoline over everything. Just as he starts to light the match, Hank spots his clothes on top.
Hank yells to Mac, "HOLD ON! WAIT A MINUTE! DON'T LIGHT THAT MATCH!" But, it was too late. Mac throws the match on the pile and the only thing to catch on fire and burn, is Hanks shirt--because it was the only thing that really DID have gasoline on it. Hank would have loved to have had a picture of the shocked look on Macs face when the shirt caught on fire. Hank runs over and grabs Macs arm.
"What do you think you are doing? Thats MY shirt! the one I wore TODAY!"
Mac turns to look at Hank with a shocked expression on his face and says, "Hank, it was supposed to be a joke. I poured flame retardant on this stuff so it WOULDN'T catch on fire. Why did your shirt catch on fire?"
Hank just stares at him for a minute and shakes his head. "Because when I stopped for gas on the way to work this morning, I got a little gas sprayed on me!"
"WHAT IN THE $%%^ IS GOING ON OUT HERE?"
Both Hank and Mac look at each other and then turn to look at a very mad Captain.
"Uh, Cap", Mac cautiously begins, "I can explain. Its really kinda funny" Hank just shakes his head and walks over to the Captain and quickly explains what happened, and then goes back in to join the others for roll call. When the Captain and Mac come in, Mac hands Hank a very tattered and burnt shirt, and $20. Hank looks up in astonishment and asks, "What is this for?"
Mac just looks at him and glares at Hank. "It is to buy yourself a new shirt."
Over the last several years Hank wanted to get back at McConnikee in some way and now he knew his chance was close at hand. When he got dressed to go to work on this first day of his new job, he put on the shirt that he bought several years ago to replace the burned one. He gets to the Station and McConnikee is already there in his office. Mac greets them and they chat for a few minutes. Hank decides to have a little fun.
"Hey, Cap! Do you recognize this shirt?"
Mac looks puzzled, but just shakes his head. "No, why? Should I?"
"Well, I thought you might remember when I got it.
"No, not really."
Hank looks McConnikee straight in the eye. "I bought it in '68 to replace the shirt that was burned!" Hank smiles as he sees the horrified look that on McConnikees face.
McConnikee narrows his eyes and glares at Hank. "Look, Hank, that happened years ago. It was just a joke. Lets let bygones be bygones and forget about the past. By the way, how is your family? I hear you have a new baby."
Hank smiles real big and pulls out his wallet. "I just happened to have a picture--" Hank starts to tell him but the phone rings. McConnikee answers it and then waves Hank away. Hank goes to get dressed and then after roll call, he goes to work cleaning the hoses and trying to think of a way to get back at McConnikee. He didn't really wanna burn McConnikees hat, but he could at least tease McConnikee into thinking that he had. He goes to the closet and gets Macs hat, and throws it on the back of the fire engine on top of the hoses, and then gets busy with his chores.
Pretty soon the klaxons go off and they can tell it is gonna be a big one. They rush to get on the engine as the information is given.
"Station 86, Station 14, Station 96, Batallion 5, Pumper 8. Warehouse fire at 123 Hwy Two East. Cross street Chickies Road. Time out 10:19."
McConnikee acknowledges the call and Hank drives away, forgetting about the hat that was buried in the bed of hoses.
They get to a huge, 5 alarm fire, and there are flames flying everywhere at this warehouse that houses firecrackers. A lot of hose is used and no one notices that a hat is caught up in the middle of that mess, until Hank notices something burning after more firecrackers exploded. Two firefighters from another station notice it also, and they quickly extinguish the fire. Hank goes over and picks up the object and remembers he forgot about the hat. The other firefighters look at him, and one of them, a young, blonde firefighter, laughs.
"Hey, Hank. That looks like a hat that belongs to a Captain. Wonder how it got here."
"Yeah, DeSoto, that's what it is. I don't know HOW it could have gotten here, though." He looks around anxiously and then sees McConnikee heading his way.
"Well, I think that is our cue to go. Come on DeSoto. Lets get out of here."
Roy turns and looks back at Hank and wishes him luck with a big smile. He and Dwyer take off to another part of the fire. McConnikee walks up to Hank, looks at the burnt object, and turns it over
"Is that my hat, Stanley?"
"Yes, sir, it was."
"Do you think we can call it even now, Stanley, and get back to work?"
"Uh, Cap, I can explain."
"Don't worry about it, Hank. I can get a new one. I hope you enjoy Latrine duty for the next few months, though."
Captain McConnikee walks away, leaving Hank to wonder if had been worth it.
Writer's Note: I would like to thank Lorna, Sally, and my other Chat buddies for encouraging me to even try to start writing, and Marcia, for finally pushing me into it!!!
"A Shirt For a Hat" ©1999 Kathy Boulter. "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.
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