Rats In The Belfry
by Pat 'Charli' Charleville and Tangee Taylor
“Whadya wanna do tonight,Roy?” asked John Gage.
“Same thing we do every night,Johnny,” replied Roy DeSoto. “Try to take over the world!”
“So, did you come up with a plan yet?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna be the President, and you’ll be the Vice President.”
“Why can’t I be President?” asked Gage, indignantly.
“Cuz I’m the senior partner, that’s why,” stated Roy, as if Johnny had just asked the stupidest question anyone had ever asked. As the pair argued, they didn’t notice that they were being watched by three men from behind a large bay window.
Dr Kelly Brackett and Dr Joe Early were watching the men like they had never seen them before. Yet they had worked with these two for more than five years. The third member of the party was Professor Harvey Winsler, a research scientist from the Lypool Laboratory.
“So, Professor what can you tell us about their condition?” asked Dr Brackett.
“As I told you on the phone, this is not unusual, given the circumstances.”
“Professor, exactly what are those circumstances?” asked Early.
“We had a fire at the lab,and these men were part of the firefighting crew that responded. From what I have been able to ascertain, they entered the lab in search of two missing scientists. One of the missing members was laying on the floor, and the cage holding Pinky and the Brain was on the floor beside her.”
“Pinky and the Brain?” asked Brackett, confused.
“A couple of our specimen rats. They were named by the daughter of one of our scientists, after characters on her favorite television show, or some such thing.”
“Professor, I still don’t understand what that has to do with the condition these two men are in now,” said Early.
The professor sighed, not sure how much he could tell these doctors. The research was top secret, military protocol was involved. Then he looked again at the two men inside the room, and decided to level with the doctors. “We have been studying the effects of hallucinogenics on rats. This particular drug is designed to make the rat feel powerful, aggressive. The rats have been under study for over six months. When the firemen reached down to help the fallen scientist, they were both bitten by the rats.”
“Bitten?” asked Joe Early. “So, you’re telling us that whatever is running around in the bloodstreams of these lab rats,has infected Roy and Johnny. Is that right, Professor?”
“Essentially, that is what happened,” agreed the Professor. “Thankfully, the men only got a small portion of the drug, since of course they are so much bigger than the rats. Otherwise, they would be much harder to control.” Early and Brackett exchange glances, then turned back to watch Johnny and Roy.
Brackett then asked the question they both had on their minds. “So, Professor, just how long will the effects last? When can we expect them to get back to normal?”
The Professor continued to study the paramedics. “Could be as soon as 48 hours. Or maybe a week. Or maybe, never.”
“Are you telling me, this could be permanent?! Professor, look at these men! Don’t you have some kind of antidote?”
The Professor shrugged. “The research is just too new. I’m sorry, Doctor, I wish I could be more specific.”
Brackett let out a deep sigh and looked at Early. “I guess I better give Joanne an update. I can only imagine how she is going to react to this. How do you tell a wife that her husband has plans to rule the world?”
“I’ll go out and tell Stanley and the rest of the crew. They’ve been waiting in the lounge for over three hours,” said Early as he started out the door. In the room, Gage was shouting “NO WAY ROY!, as he pushed his partner against the wall. John Gage watched with amazement and a little bit of fear, as he saw his own hands around DeSoto’s neck, and saw DeSoto’s face begin to turn red. There were tiny veins starting to pop out at his temples.
“YOU FREAK!” Roy screamed as he grabbed Johnny around the throat and lifted him right off the floor!
Now it was John who was turning red as he struggled to catch his breath. He kicked his leg out, catching Roy in the hip. Roy immediately dropped Johnny and yelled out in pain.
John finally caught his breath. “I am the better paramedic. I am the best looking one, the one the girls like! ME, Roy Desoto, ME!” Johnny taunted.
“Break it up right now, boys!” A female voice yelled out from behind them.
"Awwww Dixie…”
“Don’t even start with me, John Gage,” she threatened, pointed a finger at him, and then pointing to a chair. Johnny began to sulk, but he sat down in the chair, silent.
“What has gotten into the two of you?” she asked Roy.
“He’s pissed because I’m the senior member, and that means I get to be president when we take over the world and…”
Dixie reached out and slapped Roy on the side of his head.
“YEEEEEOW!” Roy cried out in pain and surprise. “What did you do that for?”
“Hahahahaha,” Johnny sang out in amusement.
Suddenly the room erupted with the sounds of the klaxons. Johnny was amazed, since the tones were coming from the mouth of Dixie McCall. How does she do that? he wondered.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Gage!!” He felt Roy shaking him again. “Gage!!! Wake up!”
He turned and blinked. “Chet? What the hell!”
“Get your pants on loverboy, we have a fire at 5th and Ventura, let’s move it!!” Chet yelled as he ran out the door.
Roy will never believe this one, Johnny thought to himself as he jumped into the squad.
“Here we go, junior,” Roy grinned at his partner as they pulled out of the station.
“Where we headed?” Johnny asked.
“Some research lab or something. Big fire in the lab and a couple of missing scientists.”
“Lab?” choked Johnny. “ A Lab?! Do they have rats at this lab, Roy?”
“I have no idea, Johnny, why?”
“Rat, Roy! Rats! Be careful of the rats!” Johnny cried.“I don’t want to be vice president.”
DeSoto looked at his partner like he’d grown a second head.
Johnny just kept mumbling, “Watch out for the rats, Roy. Watch out for the rats.”
He’s finally flipped, Roy thought. And he was just getting used to Johnny as a partner. Well, there was always Brice.
*******************
"Rats In The Belfry" ©1999 Pat 'Charli' Charleville and Tangee Taylor. "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. "Pinky and the Brain" © Warner Bros. Animation. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.
NOTICE: The layout and graphics on this page are the property of Two Chickies Fan Fiction. They may NOT be used on any other fan fiction site and any such use consitutes HTML theft. We urge you not to support any site that engages in such tactics, and to report any such usage to Marcia or Tangee.