Buyer Beware!
Johnny Gage bounced happily into Station Fifty-one’s kitchen. The smile on his face revealed his good mood to the rest of the firefighters. "Good morning all!" John joyfully cried. The rest of the crew just stared at him.
"What’s so good about it, Gage?" Chet snapped.
"Your in a foul mood today, Chester B. What’s wrong?" John asked with genuine concern showing on his face.
"How long has it been since we have actually had a weekend off? A whole weekend? This weekend is the first time in months that we’ve got a weekend off and what happens? My date breaks her leg! Do you believe it?"
"I can’t believe you have a date!" John teased.
"Very funny, Gage," Chet sneered. "We were suppose to go water skiing and now she is laid up in the hospital."
"Wow! That’s too bad." Marco sympathized. "Is she okay?"
"Yeah, she’s fine except for the full leg cast that will be on for six to eight weeks," Chet said sarcastically.
"Guess that will make it hard for her to water ski, huh Chet," Mike added as he walked to the coffee pot.
"Very funny, Mikey. Now what am I going to do? A whole weekend off -- ruined!" Chet put his head in his hands.
"Well Chet," John began. "Speaking of this weekend, how would you guys like to drive up to my cabin?"
The guys looked at John with surprise.
"Your cabin?" Captain Stanley asked.
"Since when do you have a cabin?" Roy wondered.
"Well, technically it isn’t mine -- yet. You know I’ve been looking for one and my realtor called and she has one, dirt cheap! She said I could go up there this weekend and see if I like it. So, how about it? Anybody want to join me?" Johnny’s face beamed while the rest of the men just looked at one another. No one wanted to be the first to respond.
"Ah, come on guys!" John begged. "It’ll be fun! We can fish and hike and...and..."
"And fight and get on each others nerves," Chet added, mocking Johnny’s good mood.
"And bleed!" Mike called from the coffee pot.
"You know, you guys are a bunch of pessimists." John’s good mood was fading fast.
"You’ve got to admit, Junior," Roy calmly stated. "Our past attempts at vacationing together haven’t exactly went well. Not to mention the fact that Sunday is Halloween."
"So, what’s that got to do with anything?" Johnny asked.
"Some of us do have kids, Gage," Hank Stanley reminded John.
"We’ll be home on Sunday. We’ll leave tomorrow morning after our shift and we’ll come home Sunday morning. We’ll just stay overnight. You’ll be home by noon." Johnny looked hopefully from man to man.
"Well, count me in," Marco said. "I don’t have anything better to do."
"Me too, John," Mike added. "I’d love to get away, even if it is just overnight."
John looked at Chet and raised his eyebrows.
"Okay, why not," Chet surrendered. "The water skiing is definitely out, anyway."
"Great!" John rubbed his hands together. "That’s four. Are we going to make it a full six pack?" John looked hopeful at Roy and Hank, who looked at each other and sighed.
"I’ll have to ask Joanne," Roy told John.
"Me too," Hank added.
"Hey Cap, why do you have to ask DeSoto’s wife if you can go?" Chet wondered.
"I mean I have to ask my wife you twit!" Hank snapped at Chet.
"Oh, right Cap," Chet smiled at his Captain.
"This will be great -- you’ll see. We’ll have an awesome time!" John beamed. Chet, Marco and Mike smiled in return, while Roy and Hank looked nervously at each another.
*******
Amazingly enough, both Joanne DeSoto and Stella Stanley had agreed to let their husbands go on John’s little weekend adventure provided they were home no later then noon on Halloween. Everyone agreed and as soon as the men from B shift arrived at the station, the members of the expedition piled into John’s Land Rover and took off on their trek to the mountains.
After a quick stop at each man’s home to gather their belongings and a fast grocery run it was time to head for the hills. The trip took a little over and hour and a half with John driving at full speed. John slowed down as he approach a dirt road with a road sign hanging sideways.
"Does that sign say Gravelly Hollow?" John asked looking at the paper the directions were written on. Hank turned sideways and squinted.
"Yeah, John -- I think so."
John turned the vehicle down the dirt road. Small stones and sticks jumped under the wheels of the Land Rover sounding like popcorn popping. The men swayed in their seats as Johnny navigated down the deteriorating road.
"Geez, Gage!" Chet whined. "Where in the hell is this place?"
"It’s suppose to be on this road," John informed Chet.
"Do you think you could find a place a little more out of the way, John?" Marco quipped.
"Well, that’s the idea of having a cabin, Marco -- so you can get away from it all."
"Did you have to get one in Timbuktu?" Chet asked John.
"Where is Timbuktu, anyway?" Mike wondered.
"Just south of Outer Mongolia," Roy informed the engineer.
"Is that true?" Marco asked, raising an eyebrow at Roy.
"How the hell should I know? I’m a paramedic, not a geography professor."
The Land Rover hit a huge pothole sending the men bouncing around the interior of the vehicle.
"Whoa!!!" They all exclaimed as John fought for control of the truck.
"Geez, Gage! Watch where you’re going," Chet complained.
"Sorry," John apologized. "Is everyone okay?"
"Yeah, we’re fine." Marco informed John.
"Now I know what a milk shake feels like," Chet mumbled.
"Can it, Kelly!" Hank snapped.
John jammed on his brakes as the road they were traveling on suddenly ended. Before them stood a very small cabin with an equally small creek fed lake next to it. John turned off the truck and they all climbed out, stretching their cramped muscles.
The cabin wasn’t much to look at but it looked to be in fairly good repair. The woods surrounding it were very thick with a heavy undergrowth of brush and vines. There was an old rowboat turned upside down next to the lake and not far from the cabin stood a small 3’ x 3’ structure.
"Oh man, an outhouse!" Chet whined.
"This place has no plumbing?" Hank asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
"Well...." Johnny stumbled for words. "The realtor said it was rustic. She didn’t go into detail as to just how rustic it was."
"How about we go inside and see what kind of shape the cabin is in," Roy suggested.
They all followed Johnny as he put the key into the lock and opened the door. They stopped dead in their tracks as they entered the room. A symphony of satin and lace met their eyes as they stood speechless, taking it all in.
The cabin was one large room. A stone fireplace took up half of the back wall with a door on either side. A king sized canopy bed took up the left side of the room. The bed was draped with a pink satin spread and had white lace pillows arranged at the head. At each of the four corner posts, the matching satin and lace canopy draped lightly and cascaded softly to the floor. Lace curtains hung on each of the windows with pink blinds pulled down to block the sunlight. Assorted pieces of ornate furniture were arranged throughout the room -- all upholstered in pink velvet or satin. A huge, gild framed mirror hung on the wall next to the bed and assorted nude paintings in lavish frames adorned the remaining walls.
Johnny stood surveying the room, his mouth hung open in shock.
"Welcome to Gage’s Den of Love!" Chet exclaimed, laughing hysterically.
"I don’t believe this!" John muttered, still in shock.
"Well, you could always gut the place and start over," Roy said to his friend.
"What kind of hunting cabin is this?" Hank Stanley wondered.
"I don’t think whoever owns this place is hunting for the same thing Gage is," Marco observed.
"This place is just scary," Mike declared.
"I’ve never seen so much pink!" Marco exclaimed.
"I have," Roy informed the group. "In my daughter’s Barbie dream house."
"Hey Gage, maybe that’s who the owner is -- Barbie!" Chet teased.
"I never saw pictures like these in Barbie’s dream house," Roy said, looking at the nude paintings on the walls.
"Man! This is not what I had in mind." Johnny shook his head as he spun around taking in the whole room. "Well, let’s get settled."
"We’re staying?" Mike asked, surprised.
"Sure, why not?" John wondered.
"It’s a little...frilly...isn’t it?" Mike said, disgust showing on his face.
"What’s a matter, Mikey?" Chet teased. "Is your masculinity feeling threatened?"
"No -- I just hate pink. This place looks like the inside of a bottle of Pepto-Bismol." Mike shivered as he looked around the room.
"Come on, guys. Let’s get the stuff out of the truck." Hank ordered, motioning for the men to follow him outside. Roy and Johnny were the last two out the door. Johnny leaned over to Roy when the other’s were out of ear shot.
"What do ya think? Think I can redo the place and make it more....me?"
"Don’t ask me, Junior. I’m a paramedic, not an interior decorator."
*******
After quickly dropping their overnight bags and sleeping bags on the floor, the guys spent the rest of the afternoon fishing and relaxing. They found a pair of oars under the row boat and to their surprise, the boat actually did float. Johnny, Roy and Mike went out in the boat while Marco and Chet fished from the shore. Hank Stanley had brought along some reading material he had been meaning to catch up on. He took advantage of the quiet time while his men were occupied to go through the many journals that had been piling up. It was about four in the afternoon when John, Mike and Roy rowed the boat ashore.
"Is anybody else getting hungry?" Johnny asked the group.
"I thought you’d never ask. I’m starving!" Hank responded. Everyone agreed and they went to the Land Rover to retrieve the coolers.
"Did anyone notice a kitchen in the cabin?" Marco asked his comrades. The men looked at one another.
"Come to think of it...no." John said, confusion visible on his face.
"I don’t think the owners did much cooking in there." Hank concluded.
"I don’t know about that, Cap," Chet said. "I think plenty of cookin’ went on in there, but not the kind that needed food." The men laughed at Chet’s observation.
"Except for maybe a little whipped cream," Marco interjected, laughing.
"Or strawberries," Roy added.
"How about some chocolate sauce," Chet threw in his two cents.
"Or maple syrup," Mike said mischievously as he walked past the group carrying a cooler. The guys all stopped and looked at one another.
"Maple syrup?" John pondered.
"It’s always the quiet ones," Captain Stanley muttered, shaking his head.
As they walked into the cabin, the sun hit the blinds and lace curtains casting eerie pink shadows throughout the room.
"This place looks worse every time I see it," John mumbled to Roy as he place his cooler on the floor.
Marco was right. There didn’t appear to be any cooking facilities in the cabin. John let out a sigh. "I can’t believe there is no kitchen."
"What’s behind those doors?" Chet wondered.
Marco was standing the closest so he went to the door on the right side of the fireplace and opened it a crack. Almost immediately he slammed it shut and threw his body against it. His eyes grew large and his breathing became rapid.
"Marco! What’s the matter?" John asked.
"There’s something in there!" Marco gasped.
"Like what?" Captain Stanley asked, slightly annoyed.
"Big.......Hairy.....Claws..." Marco motioned with his hands describing each feature.
"Is it the boogie man?" Chet teased, laughing at his friend.
Roy went over to the closet and gently pried Marco’s body from in front of the door. Slowly, cautiously, he opened the door a crack, then smiling, swung the door open for all to see.
"It’s a stuffed bear!" Roy reported. There, standing in the closet, was a six foot tall stuffed black bear. It stood on its hind legs, the front paws clawing at the air and mouth opened in a mock roar.
"Now why the hell would anyone put a stuffed bear in the closet," Hank mused.
"I’ve heard of having skeleton’s in your closets but really...a bear?" Mike remarked.
"Marco," Chet began in his best game show host voice. "You can keep the bear from behind door number one or trade it for what’s behind door number two."
"No way, Man!" Marco exclaimed. "I’m not opening any more doors in this place."
Captain Stanley went over to the door on the left side of the fireplace, opening it a crack, he peeked in. Smiling, he opened it all the way.
"Voila! I think this is what we were looking for." Stanley reported. The door lead to a small kitchen that stuck out of the back of the cabin. There was a very small gas stove with an oven and a small sink with a hand pump for water. Instead of a refrigerator, an old fashioned ice box stood against the wall.
"I’m almost afraid to ask this but is there any electricity in this place?" Mike wondered as he looked at the antique equipment. The men looked around at the old fashioned kitchen and ice box and for the first time noticed only kerosene lamps throughout the cabin.
"Oh man!" Chet whined. "No bathroom or electric? Gage, you really know how to pick ‘um!"
"Hey, it’s not my fault!" Johnny asserted. "The realtor didn’t tell me. Blame her!"
"Did you ever think to ask?" Chet questioned John.
"Now, why would I ask in this day and age if it had electric and plumbing?"
"Do we at least have some matches?" Hank asked no one in particular.
"Yeah, there’s some out in the truck," John informed his captain.
"Well, I suggest you go out and get them and get some of these lamps lit before it gets too dark." Stanley suggested.
"I’ll get them John," Mike offered. "Where are they?"
"Thanks, Mike. They’re in the glove box."
Mike left the cabin and walked over to the Rover. As he opened the door to the truck, he glanced back at the cabin. He did a double take when he saw a woman walking out of the woods toward the door. She was dressed all in white and had long blonde hair cascading down her shoulders. Her head was hung down so Mike could not see her face but as she approached the cabin she turned briefly and glanced at him. She waved her hand slightly at Mike before opening the door and entering the cabin.
"Well," Mike said to himself as he opened the glove box to retrieve the matches. "Maybe this trip won’t be a complete waste after all."
*******
"So where is she?" Mike asked as he came back into the cabin with the box of matches in his hand.
"Where is who?" Roy asked.
"The girl!" Mike insisted.
"What girl?" Marco wondered.
"The blonde girl!" Mike said now very confused. "I saw her come in here while I was out getting the matches. She even waved at me!"
Everyone laughed at the insistent engineer. "Mikey, Mikey, Mikey," Chet said, shaking his head. "What have you been smoking out there?"
"Come on, guys. I saw her!" Mike was adamant.
"Pally," Hank began, putting an arm around his confused engineer and patting him on the shoulder. "No one came in here while you were gone."
"I swear I saw someone."
"Well, if you’re gonna hallucinate, girls would be my first choice," Marco informed the group.
"Don’t feel bad, Mike," Johnny tried to console his friend. "It was probably a reflection."
"Yeah, I guess your right," Mike agreed but he was still not convinced. He knew what he saw.
*******
Even with the out dated kitchen, the guys were able to whip up a delicious meal. Mike made his famous fried chicken. Marco made a salad and Hank made garlic bread. Joanne had just made a chocolate cake so she had sent half of it along with the guys for dessert After dinner, Johnny and Chet did the dishes as the rest of the guys built a fire in the fireplace and set out the sleeping bags on the floor. The all laid down and lounged around on the floor in front of the roaring fire as they digested there meal.
"Is it just me or is this place getting pinker?" Mike asked as he looked around the room in the dimness of the firelight.
"Man, Mikey," Chet teased. "This place really has you creeped out!"
"Yeah, Mike. It’s making you see mystery women," Marco taunted as he smiled at his friend.
"I wouldn’t talk Grizzly Adams," Roy reminded him. "You haven’t exactly been a tower of strength today."
"Hey Mike. What did she look like?" John asked.
"I didn’t get a real good look at her," Mike confessed.
"That’s probably because she wasn’t really there," Chet mumbled under his breath.
The others all glared at him, then Mike continued. "I could tell she had long blonde hair and was dressed all in white. I swear, she was standing there just as plain as day."
"When I was a kid I used to keep seeing this black and white cat walking around our house," Roy shared with the others. "No one else saw it, I was the only one. Then one day our neighbor told us that the people who lived there before us had a black and white cat that got stuck up in the attic in the summer and died from heat stroke. Their description of the cat was exactly like the one I had been seeing."
"Do do do do do do do do," Chet sang the "Twilight Zone" theme.
"When I was a kid," John began. "We used to see a horse running out behind the house. For weeks I tried to catch up to it but couldn’t. I couldn’t believe how fast it was. Then one evening I got closer to it then I ever had before. I chased it until it went around the side of the barn. I was right on it’s tail but when I rounded the corner it was gone. There was nothing but a big empty field in front of me."
"Do do do do do do do do," Everyone joined in with the song.
"What about you, Cap?" Chet asked. "What’s the scariest thing that ever happened to you?"
Hank Stanley laid stretched out on his sleeping bag on his stomach. He rested his head on his folded arms and spoke without opening his eyes.
"The scariest thing has to be spending the weekend in this lace infested hovel with you five twits when I could be home in my nice, soft, comfortable bed with my wife."
"Well, maybe Mike will share his girlfriend with ya, Cap," John kidded. Hank glared at John with one opened eye.
"Marco, what about you?" Mike inquired.
"I’ve seen a lot of weird things in my life," Marco confessed, wide eyed.
"He doesn’t mean after a half a bottle of Tequila," Chet chided.
"I’m talking about when I was little," Marco said, glaring at Chet. My mother was tucking us in one night and just as the clock struck eight o’clock our bedroom door flew opened then slammed shut."
"It was probably just a draft," Chet speculated.
"In January? With all the windows and doors shut? We found out the next morning that at eight o’clock exactly our grandfather had died."
"Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do," The group sang in unison.
"How about you, Chet? Any tales of terror from your past?" Roy asked.
"I really can’t think of anything that I’ve seen that was really weird or scary." Chet told them.
"How about your reflection in the mirror every morning," Marco suggested and the whole group laughed.
"Ha Ha. You are so funny, Marco," Chet said sarcastically.
"Isn’t it about time to wrap up this little gab fest?" Hank asked, not bothering to lift up his head or open his eyes.
"But it’s only 11:30 Cap," Johnny whined. "It’s not even the witching hour yet."
"I think we’ve had enough paranormal activity for tonight, Gage," Stanley griped. "How about we get some sleep."
"Awww, but Cap," Chet moaned.
"I said sleep, Kelly!" Stanley snapped.
"Yes sir."
"Hey, isn’t anyone going to sleep in the bed?" John asked
"Not me!" Mike exclaimed. "I’d rather sleep on a bed of nails."
"How about it Roy?" Johnny asked as he got up from the floor and climbed into the king sized canopy bed. "Wanna join me?" Roy let out a deep sigh.
"What the hell. I’m getting to old to sleep on the floor any way." Roy got up from the floor and climbed into the other side of the bed and got under the covers.
"Ooooohh....Johnny and Roy sittin’ in the tree..." Chet sang.
"Shut up, Chet!" Roy and Johnny chorused.
"This bed is huge! Somebody else could fit -- any takers?" Johnny asked the four other men.
"Hey, I’m not too proud," Marco confessed. "This floor is hard." Marco climbed out of his sleeping bag, crawled up the middle of the bed and slipped under the covers between Johnny and Roy.
"Johnny, Roy AND Marco, sittin’ in a tree..." Chet warbled.
"Shut up Chet!" Everyone yelled.
"You people have no sense of humor," Chet mumbled as he slid down inside his sleeping bag.
The room was now quiet. The only sound was that of the fire snapping and the even sound of the men softly snoring. Suddenly, Johnny’s eyes snapped open. He sat up in the bed as his eyes scanned the room. In the dim firelight he could see that everyone was asleep. What was that noise I heard? It’s nothing, he decided. He laid back down and put his left arm over his eyes. Then he heard it again, but this time Roy and Marco heard it too.
"Johnny," Marco whispered. "What was that?"
"I don’t know -- must be the cabin settling."
"Don’t you think that would sound more like a creak?" Marco asked. "That sounded like something bouncing."
"Yeah," Roy joined the conversation. "It sounded like a marble being dropped on a hard wood floor."
"You heard it too?" Johnny asked Roy.
"Yeah."
"Well, it’s quiet now," Captain Stanley informed his men from the floor. "So you can stop talking about it and go back to sleep."
They had no sooner closed their eyes when the sound began again. Roy’s description had been accurate. It sounded like a marble being dropped on a hard wood floor then bouncing till it finally came to a rest. They laid there, silently, listening to the sound. Johnny began to count between the bounces. He found that every time he could count to twenty then it would happen again. This went on for about ten minutes then the sound that was heard made all six men sit up straight. Instead of one marble it sounded like an entire bag of marbles had been dropped onto a hard wood floor.
"What the hell was that!" Chet exclaimed.
"I think our ghost has lost all his marbles," Mike stated calmly.
"Ghost?" Marco said, his eyes growing larger. "What ghost?
"Oh, thank you Mike for putting that thought in our minds," John said, annoyed at Mike.
"Like you all weren’t thinking it already," Mike retorted.
"Well, whatever it was it seems to have stopped now," Captain Stanley observed.
"You said that before Cap, then it started right back up again," Chet reminded his Captain. "I think this place is haunted."
"Haunted?" Marco squeaked, sliding down farther under the blanket.
"Chet, will you just shut up!" Johnny scolded. "This place is not haunted."
"How do you know for sure?" Marco asked from under the blanket.
"Well because...there’s no such thing as ghosts, right Roy?"
"Don’t ask me, I’m a paramedic not a para-psychologist."
Johnny rolled his eyes at Roy’s stock answer. "I’ll tell you one thing," Johnny proclaimed proudly. "I don’t believe in ghosts!" The words had no sooner left his mouth when the canopy collapsed over the three men, sending slats and pink satin raining down on top of them.
"AHHHHHH!!! I believe! I believe!" Marco screamed as he threw the blanket completely over his head and coward down under the covers. Johnny and Roy fought through the folds of pink satin and lace. Standing on the mattress, they attempted to reinsert the slats in the canopy frame without stepping on Marco’s quivering body. As soon as they would insert the slat back in one side it would pop out of the other side. They staggered on the mattress being careful not to step on Marco’s frightened form under the blanket in their attempt to reassemble the canopy. Mike, Chet and Hank had gotten up and were trying to assist the boys. Finally, they got the slats back in and they stayed in place. John and Roy sat down cross-legged on the bed trying to catch their breath.
"I never thought we’d get that thing back together," John huffed.
"Hey Marco?" Chet teased. "You can come out from under the covers now. The boogie man went home."
"Shut up, Chet!" Marco called out from under the covers.
"That was weird!" Mike exclaimed.
"Yeah, and it’s all your fault," Chet blamed Mike.
"My fault! How do you figure that?"
"You’re the one who pissed off the ghost by saying he lost all his marbles!" Chet reminded him.
"Everything seems to be back to normal now," Captain Stanley said trying to calm his men. "How about we all settle down and try to get some sleep."
"Sleep!" Marco squealed. "Your kidding right Cap? You don’t actually think we’ll be able to sleep now, do you?"
"I don’t know about anyone else, but I could use a little something to nibble on," Roy said as he got out of bed and headed for the kitchen.
"Oh, no. Not the nibbling!" John whined.
Roy turned to face him. "I’m sorry, it relaxes me."
"Fine. But do your nibbling over there," John motions towards the sleeping bags. "I don’t want crumbs in the bed."
"Come to think of it, I’m a little hungry myself," Hank Stanley confessed. "Hey Roy. Bring the chips in."
"Okay, Cap."
"Is there any cake left?" Chet asked.
"No, but there’s a box of cupcakes."
"Cool, bring them in too."
"I could use something to drink," Marco said, poking his head out from under the blankets.
"Oh no," John said. "If you have something to drink, you’ll have to go pee. I’m not holding your hand and walking you to the outhouse."
"Oh come on, John," Mike implored. "Let the poor guy have a drink."
John sighed. "Fine. But one of you guys can take him to the outhouse," John said as he climbed out of the bed. "I guess if we’re going to be up a while I better put some more wood on the fire." As John stoked the fire, Roy came from the kitchen with an armload of snacks and a six pack of beer dangling off his finger.
"I got potato chips, corn chips, pretzels, cupcakes, cookies, beef jerky and beer." Roy bent down and dropped the whole load into the middle of the circle of sleeping bags. The guys all sat back down on the floor and dug into the snacks.
*******
As the clock struck 2 am, Mike peered over his handful of cards at the others in the circle. "Okay, Chet. I see your six pretzels and raise you three oreo’s," Mike grinned at Chet as he threw his bet into the pot.
"Okay, wait a minute," Chet asked, looking confused. "Are pretzels worth more then corn chips?"
"Do we have to go through this every time, Kelly?" Captain Stanley complained. "It’s potato chips, pretzels, corn chips then cookies."
"Then cup cakes, right?"
"No." Hank said shaking his head.
"But I thought cup cakes were worth the most?" Chet said, trying to comprehend the game.
"They were, until Gage ate them all," Marco told Chet.
"Hey, I didn’t eat them all!" Johnny informed the group. "I just ate the last two."
"Roy!" Marco exclaimed. "Stop eating out of the pot. Eat your own chips!"
"I can’t -- I lost them all."
"You mean you ate them all," John corrected his partner.
"Whatever. I don’t have any more."
"Hey Roy," Marco requested. "Since your out could you go get me another beer, please?"
"Another?" John remarked, "That makes three!"
"So. I’m over 21." John held up his hands in surrender.
"Fine. Just remember what I said," John reminded the group. Roy came back into the room with a six pack.
"This is the last of the beer guys," he informed the men, handing them each a can.
"My stomach hurts," Chet whined.
"No wonder," Hank said. "You ate like a pound of beef jerky."
"Hey, it was good. I don’t want to play anymore." Chet threw his cards down on the floor and rolled over on his back clutching his stomach.
"Good, that means I win," Mike said as he collected his pot. He had to smack Roy’s hand to make him drop the last cookie.
"I don’t know about the rest of you guy,s but I’m beat," John said as he climbed into his sleeping bag.
"Do you think the spooks have stopped for the night?" Marco asked, looking around cautiously.
"Don’t worry, little Marco -- Chester B. will keep those mean little ghosties away," Chet teased in his best mothering voice. Marco just glared at him.
"Maybe you should tell him a story to help him sleep," Mike suggested.
"Yeah, your voice always puts me to sleep," John added.
Now it was Chet’s turn to glare at Johnny. "Okay, Marco," Chet began in a hushed voice. "It was a dark and stormy night. We were standing on deck. Our ship was sinking. My father turned to me and said, tell me a story my son. And so I began -- it was a dark and stormy night. We were standing on deck. Our ship was sinking. My father turned to me and said, Tell me a story my son. And so I began -- it was a dark and stormy night..." Suddenly Chet found five pillows bombarding him from every direction.
"Well, if you didn’t want to hear a story then why did you ask for one?" Chet complained as he made his way out from under the pile of pillows.
The six men again settled down in an attempt to get some sleep when John’s eyes popped open.
"Oh man!" John moaned.
"What now, Gage?" Hank asked, his patience wearing thin.
"I have to go to the bathroom."
"Well," Marco began. "Don’t expect me to hold your hand and walk you to the outhouse."
"Very funny," John sneered as he sat up and pulled on his boots.
"I’ll go with you, John," Roy offered. "I think after three beers I better go too."
One by one, they all decided to follow John until the only one left was Marco.
"Well, if you guys think I’m staying in here alone, you’re nuts!" Marco said as he too jumped up and followed the guys to the outhouse. He grabbed his shoes and was hopping behind them attempting to get them on. "Come on guys, wait up!" Marco pleaded as he balanced on one foot.
The full moon reflected silver ribbons across the lake as the men trekked to the facility. The moon was so bright that John turned off the flashlight he was carrying. Crickets and tree frogs chirped softly and a slight breeze blew through the trees. When they reached the outhouse John entered first. Each man in turn took the flashlight and entered the small building with Chet being the last. The soft breeze had slowly begun to pick up and was becoming a strong wind. The tree branches swayed from side to side as the wind caught the limbs sending leaves swirling to the ground. The clouds moved quickly across the moon, raining eerie shadows down to the earth. The wind howled and the trees creaked as they danced together under the flickering moonlight. The men looked around wide-eyed at the spectacle unfolding before them.
Marco knocked on the outhouse door. "Hurry up, Chet. It’s getting creepy out here!"
"I’m coming, I’m coming. Keep your shorts on!" Chet snapped from behind the closed door.
"Look!" Mike exclaimed pointing towards the cabin. "There she is!"
The guys all turned in the direction Mike was pointing and saw a woman with long blonde hair and dressed all in white coming out of the woods. She walked slowly with her head hung low. A light emanated from her creating a glowing aura surrounding her form.
Chet began to pull at the door of the outhouse. "Hey, come on guys. Let me out!" Chet yelled as he jiggled the door.
"Just open the door, you twit!" Hank instructed without taking his eyes off the girl.
"It won’t open!" Chet whined.
"Push stupid!" Marco suggested sharply.
"I’m pushing, I’m pulling, -- nothing is happening!" Chet cried out, panic now showing in his voice. "What’s going on out there?" he asked as the howls of the wind increased. He stood on his tip toes to gaze out the small half moon opening carved in the door. His eyes grew wide as he too witnessed the goings on.
"Look!" Hank exclaimed, pointing to the other side of the cabin. The image of a man on horseback was becoming increasingly clearer. He appeared to be wearing some kind of uniform as he sat tall in the saddle. Flashes of light shot through the darkness as the moon reflected off the many medals and brass buttons on his clothing. A clap of thunder and a bolt of lightening cracked simultaneously, sending the horse rearing on its hind legs. His neighs joining the howls of the wind in a haunting chorus.
"Please tell me everyone is seeing this and not just me," Johnny nervously polled the group.
"I see it, but I don’t believe it," Roy said, amazement showing in his voice.
"This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever witnessed," Hank said, shaking his head in wonder. Marco and Mike stood speechless, their mouths gaping open.
The horseman rode toward the house. When the woman became aware of the horseman’s presence she ran into the house, dematerializing through the closed door.
"Whoa! Did you see that?" Marco exclaimed. The others shook their heads in agreement not taking their eyes off the scene playing out before them.
The horseman leapt from the horse and ran after the woman. He also dematerialized as he went through the closed door. The wind picked up even more, whistling and howling as it sent cold shivers down all six men’s spines.
The sound of a struggle began to emanate from the interior of the cabin. There was the crash of breaking glass, the thumping of hand to hand combat and finally a woman’s scream and cry. Then the all too familiar crackle of a fire became clear to the men as an orange glow came from the windows of the cabin and began to consume the building. Transparent flames leapt from the windows and roof, engulfing the edifice in an amber glow. The cabin was visible through the fire and appeared to be unharmed even thought it’s exterior was blanketed by flames. The men could feel the heat radiating from the blaze, and smell the smoke as the cabin appeared to burn furiously.
The wind continued to blow, sending leaves and smoke swirling up towards the sky. The howl of the wind and the roar of the fire became deafening as the smoke swirled in glowing circles towards the heavens. The forms of the man and the woman became visible in the billowing smoke. Their forms mutating and gyrating as they rose to their celestial finale.
The flames and the wind stopped as suddenly as they had started as a thick plume of heavy black smoke rose to block the moon, plunging the men into total darkness. Dead silence accompanied the pitch blackness as the only sound heard was that of the rapid, excited breathing of the six men. Slowly, the moon’s light began to rain down to earth again as the black cloud passed. Along with the return of the moonlight, came the nighttime forest sounds of crickets and tree frogs as they chirped steadily. The guys stood perfectly still, trying to regain their composure, when suddenly the outhouse door flew open sending Chet crashing into his five companions, knocking them all to the ground.
"Yo, Chet!" Johnny snapped. "I thought the door was stuck?"
"It was. I swear!" Chet pledged. "It just flew open."
"Could you please get off of me?" Roy requested from the bottom of the pile.
"Sorry Roy," Chet said as he and the others rolled off the pinned man.
"That was unbelievable," Mike said in a hushed tone.
"I know. I never saw anything like that before," a trembling Marco shared with the group.
"So, now what do we do?" Hank asked the group.
"What do you mean, Cap?" Chet wondered.
"Do we go back in the cabin?"
"No way!" All five said in unison.
"I’m sleeping in the Rover," John informed the men, walking over to the truck.
"Sounds good to me," Chet agreed as the five men followed John to join him in the vehicle to attempt to get some sleep.
*******
John Gage was awakened by the sun as its golden rays came in through the windows of the Rover. It shone directly in his eyes making him squint as he looked around the vehicle’s interior. Roy sat next to him, sleeping in the passenger seat, his head resting on the window. Chet sat in the middle of the back seat, his head thrown back and his mouth wide open as he snored peacefully. Mike and Marco slept on either side of Chet. Their heads had fallen onto each of Chet’s shoulders and they too slept peacefully. A pair of long legs belonging to Hank Stanley protruded up from behind Chet’s head as he slept on the floor of the rear section of the Rover.
John laughed at the sight of all his snoozing companions. It was obvious that they all had a fireman’s ability to fall asleep anywhere, any place, any time.
The sound of a car horn tooting roused the remaining five as they stretched, groaned and grunted their way awake. John got out of the truck and walked over to the approaching vehicle. He smiled when he recognized the car’s occupant. "Carol, Hi! What are you doing all the way out here?" Johnny asked cheerfully as the beautiful redhead got out of her car.
"I thought I’d stop by and see what you thought of the place," She told John. The others had climbed out of the Land Rover and walked over to where John stood.
"Who’s our visitor?" Chet asked, smiling as he quickly ran his fingers through his unruly hair and flattened down his mustache.
"This is Carol Knight. She’s my real estate agent."
"I just wanted to see if John liked the cabin," Carol said, looking confused as the men burst into laughter. Confused, she then asked, "Were you sleeping in the truck?"
"You better believe it, sister!" Chet exclaimed.
"Was there a problem?" Carol asked the men.
"Problem! That place is a nightmare!" Marco proclaimed.
"Well, John. I told you it was rustic," Carol reminded him.
"But you left out the fact that it was haunted," John informed her.
"And pink!" Mike added.
"What?!" Carol laughed. "You’ve got to be kidding!"
"Kidding?!" John squealed, his voice raising an octave. "Do you think we would have slept in the truck if we were kidding?"
"Come on, John. It’s just a rustic little hunting cabin," Carol said, still laughing as she started to walk towards the cabin.
"And another thing," John began, chasing after her. "I never heard of a rustic hunting cabin decorated like the honeymoon suite at Caesar’s Palace!"
Carol looked at John and rolled her eyes as she turned the door knob and entered the cabin. The men followed her and stood in amazement at the interior. All the pink had turned to brown. Where there had been a king sized canopy bed, now stood a pair of twin bunk beds. The assorted pink satin and velvet upholstered furnishings were now straight backed wooden chairs and wood crates used as end tables. The mirror was still there, but it had a big crack down the center and was framed by plain brown wood and the nude paintings had turned into an assortment of mounted animal heads, beer advertisements and old calendars. The only thing that remained the same was the circle of sleeping bags in the center of the floor in front of the fireplace and the remnants of the boys "poker game".
"I don’t believe it!" Johnny exclaimed, looking from man to man, each appearing as amazed as John.
"I’ve been to Vegas," Carol stated. "And I never saw a suite decorated like this."
"But....But...." John stammered. "It was...."
"Pink!" Mike proclaimed.
"And frilly," Chet added.
"And there was a canopy bed," Hank joined in.
"And a bear in the closet," Marco said pointing to the closet door.
"Oh yeah, I knew about the bear," Carol said. "The owner is suppose to be picking that up."
"Who’s the owner?" Chet asked. "Vincent Price?"
Carol laughed. "You guys! I don’t know what went on here last night, but I have a feeling I didn’t make a sale."
"You’ve got that right!" Johnny asserted as he handed her the keys to the cabin.
"May I make a suggestion, Ms. Knight?" Roy asked the redhead.
"Sure. Go ahead."
"The next time you show this place, don’t let the buyer spend the night."
"Amen to that!" Marco exclaimed as they began gathering their belongings and packing for the trip home.
*******
It had been a quiet ride back to the city. John dropped each man off at their individual homes. He pulled up in front of his last passenger’s house. He turned off the engine and let out a sigh. He looked at Roy and for a moment they just sat there.
"So..." Roy began. "Do you want to come in for a while?"
"I just want to see the kids costumes then I think I’ll hit the road. I need to get some sleep."
"You and me both, partner. I hope Joanne can take the kids trick or treating today," Roy stated, climbed out of the Land Rover. He grabbed his back pack while John grabbed his sleeping bag.
As they trudged up the front walk the door flew open and the kids came running out yelling. "YEAH!" Jennifer was dressed as a fairy princess and Chris was a fireman for the sixth straight year. Jennifer tackled Johnny, who promptly scooped the petite six year old up with his free hand.
Eight year old Chris was too big for Roy to pick up with one arm so he bent down and hugged him then held his hand as they walked into the house.
"Do you like my costume, Uncle Johnny?" Jennifer asked.
"I sure do, princess -- you look beautiful."
"What about me, Uncle Johnny?" Christopher asked. "Do I look like a real fireman?"
"You sure do, Chris. You look just like your daddy."
"I’m not a paramedic, Uncle Johnny. I’m a real fireman, like Uncle Hank!" John laughed and looked at Roy.
"Looks like you’ve got some competition, Dad," John teased his friend. Roy smiled as he took Jennifer into his arms and hugged her.
"At least he didn’t say like Uncle Chet," Roy joked.
Just then Joanne came downstairs. "Well, I can’t believe it, you guys are early! It’s only 11:30. I was all set to be mad at you for being late." Joanne gave John a peck on the cheek and a quick hug.
"Hey!" Roy whined. "Don’t I get one?" Joanne rolled her eyes.
"I guess so," She said and leaned over and kissed Roy quickly on the lips. She started to pull away but Roy grabbed her and pulled her back as he kissed her deeply.
Jennifer looked over at Johnny and made a face and Johnny made one back at her. "EEEWWWW!" Chris and Jennifer said in chorus.
"Yeah, Dad," Johnny agreed. "EEEWWWWW! Hey Jo, how come I didn’t get a kiss like that?"
"You better not get a kiss like that, Junior," Roy said as he came up for air. "They are reserved for me."
"Yeah," Jennifer tattled. "They do that all the time." She put her hands over her face as she giggled.
"Hey Dad?" Chris said tugging at Roy’s pant leg. "Mom said you would take us to the haunted house." Roy and John looked at each other then at Joanne.
"What haunted house?" Roy asked his wife.
"The police athletic league is sponsoring a haunted house this year. It’s tonight from 6 to 9. I thought we’d take the kids over after supper. It sounded like fun."
"Yeah Dad, can we go? Pleeeeeease?!" Chris begged, tugging on Roy’s sleeve.
"Please Daddy, and can Uncle Johnny come too?" Jennifer requested as he batted her big blue eyes at Roy.
"Well, that’s up to Uncle Johnny," Roy told his daughter as he grinned at his partner.
"I don’t know," Johnny said shaking his head. "I think I’ve had enough of haunted houses."
"But it’s Halloween, Uncle Johnny," Chris insisted. "You have to go."
"I want you to go too!" Jennifer said as she jumped up and down excitedly. "I need you to hold my hand so I don’t get scared."
"Why can’t you hold your Daddy’s hand?" Johnny asked the little princess.
"Cause he has to hold Mommy’s hand," Jennifer said, logically.
"Well..." Johnny stammered.
"PLEASE!" The two children begged in chorus. Joanne and Roy laughed as the kids each grabbed an arm tugging as they jumped up and down begging.
"OK, OK," Johnny surrendered. "I’ll go."
"YEAH!" The kids screamed.
"Okay, you two," Joanne interrupted. "Go and get your trick or treat bags so we can go to the party." The kids ran into the kitchen and Joanne turned to Roy. "I’m going to take them over to Jill’s party. That will be over around 2. Then you can take them out trick or treating until dinner. Is that okay?"
"Sure Joanne," Roy agreed.
"Would you like to join us for dinner, Johnny?" Joanne asked.
"Sure, what are you having?"
"Eyeballs and worms in blood," Joanne informed him. John lifted his eyebrows and looked at Roy.
"Spaghetti and meatballs, Junior." Roy said grinning.
"Oh, okay. Sounds good, I guess." The kids came back into the room with their bags.
"Okay, guys. I’ll be back around 2. Enjoy the quiet while you can." Joanne waved as they went out the door. Johnny looked at Roy, annoyance showing on his face.
Roy laughed. "You only thought you were going home and getting some sleep," Roy teased as he patted John on the back. "Do you want a beer or are you going to go home for a while?" John’s temporary annoyance left and was replaced with a lopsided grin.
"I might as well stay. I get a charge out of the kids and besides, I forgot to buy any candy to give out." Roy shook his head at his partner as he walked into the kitchen. He grabbed two bottles of beer and came back into the living room to find his partner lying on his couch with his feet up and stretched out.
"Make yourself at home, Junior."
"Thank you, I will," John grinned. They both took a long draw on their beers as Roy sat down in his recliner and closed his eyes.
"Roy?"
"Yeah," Roy said, opening his eyes and looking at John.
"About last night."
"Yeah."
"Did that really happen, or was I dreaming?"
"Well, if you were dreaming then we all had the same dream."
"I guess it really happened then."
"Yep. It really happened." Roy placed his beer on the end table, pushed back his recliner and closed his eyes again.
"Roy?"
"Yeah," he answered, this time without opening his eyes.
"Happy Halloween."
"Happy Halloween, Junior."
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