AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME
although loneliness has always been a friend of mine
i`m leaving my life in your hands
people say i`m crazy and that i am blind
risking it all in a glance
how you got me blind is still a mystery
i can`t get you out of my head
don`t care what is written in your history
as long as your here with me
i don`t care who you are
where you`re from
what you did
as long as you love me
who you are
where you`re from
don`t care what you did
as long as you love me
every little thing that you have said and done
feels like it`s deep within me
doesn`t really matter if you`re on the run
it seems like we`re meant to be
i don`t care who you are
where you`re from
what you did
as long as you love me
who you are
where you`re from
don`t care what you did
as long as you love me
as long as you love me
i`ve tried to hide it so that no-one knows
but i guess it shows
when you look into my eyes
what you did and where you`re comin` from
i don`t care , as long as you love me baby
sing chorus to the end
BACK STREET BOYS 1997
AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME
BY
6 / 7 / 2003
I need to tell you about someone I`m in love with.
I have to tell you first that I am totally undeserving of his love. For the longest time I was married, but that came to an end about two years ago. Then I was back to being single. What a scene that was. After trying the " Dating Scene " for a while, I quit because I realized that I wasn`t going to get what I was looking for there. And what is it I was looking for....A long lasting relationship that truly was mutual. I was looking for a friend. And what is it they say about love....that true love will strike when you least expect it. The song says it best and it expresses his point of view to me.
We met about a year ago. It was love at first glance....so to speak. I was coming out of a grocery store, where I had just finished up shopping. As I was walking to my car, I felt this hand grab my arm and a voice tell me to keep walking normally because there was a gun at my back. After I got to my car, The voice said for me not to turn around and to just hand him my pocketbook. If I did that I wouldn`t be hurt. I had tears in my eyes, and told him that I didn`t have anything that he would want in there.I felt the muscles in my back tighten as the gun was rammed harder against it. " Just do it ...." I heard. With that, I looked ahead of me and there is this blonde haired man about twenty feet away from me. " Do it and you`ll get hurt Johnny! " I hear. This blonde haired man is walking towards me and talking. Everything is a blur now. Except that now my attacker takes the gun from my back and puts it up by my left temple. And now he has me by the neck. I am crying and I see that there is somewhat of a crowd growing. As we are backing up, I hear my attacker tell the blonde man that he should " back off or else I was going to get it. "
The blonde man wouldn`t give. I remember thinking that I wished he would just go away and let this guy take my pocketbook. But suddenly I hear this click and I hear this voice say " You heard Hutch Johnny, now let the nice lady go and you won`t get hurt. Everything from here is a blur , but I know the next thing I saw was a man with curly black hair. He was leaning down next to me asking me if I was alright. This...Johnny person must have gotten hurt because he was laying on the ground in front of me. And they say that chivalry is dead. " I`ll be right back...Okay ? " I hear. Then I see this dark haired man stand up. " Cuff him Hutch. " He says . I hear Johnny yell " Ow ! man. That`s my bad arm. "
This Hutch tells him " Well Johnny, It`s only a fleshwound. Tell it to the judge. As Johhny is pulled up I see the dark haired one give him a slap on the head and tell him " Next time Johnny, don`t pick on a defenseless woman. "
I hear Johnny say back to him. " you think you`re smart Starsky. One day you won`t be so lucky. "
Well, This Starsky just turns around and heads back to me to find me standing up now. I am crying and shaking slightly.
He comes over to me and hugs me and tells me that everything is alright and that I should relax. I feel very safe in his arms. I asked him if I had to give a statement and he told me to come down to the station and he would take it there.
" By the way..." he said . " I`m Dave ...Dave Starsky. "
" I`m Charise. Charise Clayton. It`s nice to meet you Dave. " I said back to him.
Well after going down to the station and giving my statement to Dave , I felt much better. He assured me that with my testimony that Johnny would be going away for a while. He had a record a mile long.
I thanked Dave and his partner and started to head out the door. next thing I know Dave is standing next to me and asking me if I wanted to go out . I looked at him a little funny and he assured me that it wasn`t his practice to do this but that he just was wondering.
Now I had always have been a loner. And after the failed attempts at dating I was leary, But there was something different about Dave. I agreed because there was a definate spark between us. We exchanged phone numbers and he told me that he would call me after he got off work that night. We both smiled and then left.
As I was headed out to my car , I was flooded with thoughts of what had just happened. It was truly unthinkable that I would pick up , no less ....a cop.
When I got home, I made sure that things were cleaned up. I felt like a teenager would with her first love . It was wierd.
As I was sitting and waiting for Daves phone call, I just thought about my life. I have been accused of alot of things and it hurts every time it`s done. That never goes away.
I am not easy to live with because I am asexual. Sex scares me. It always has. I was with someone before I met Dave, but I had to break it off . I couldn`t find my breakthrough. I tried telling this other person that I wanted and liked certain things but he never really heard me. And I couldn`t give him what he wanted. I guess you can say that we were both stubborn. Anyway, Dave comes on the scene, and I don`t know what happens.
I get his phone call and he says he`ll pick me up at around eight. After going out to his favorie Italian place, ha drives to the beach. he parks the car and tells me to stay put. He gets out and opens the door for me.....He takes my hand and lifts me out of the car. " Let`s go for a walk..." he says " Okay ? "
I agree and as we walk, we have these long talks....honest ones......We tell each other our truths and we don`t judge each other. We laugh and we find respect for each other.
As we return to the car, he opens the door once again and helps me in.
I thank him for a very special evening. He takes me home walks me to the door and gives me a kiss. One that is just right for the occassion. As we part I feel his hand ease away from my neck. I wish it would linger there. It is warm and strong.
Well that was eight months ago . We are just as strong today as we were then. I am a person and he sees that and when I hurt or when I am facing some big decisions, David is right there with a hug or encouraging word. Just as I am for him. And when we can`t be, we always try to find time to catch up with each other. His voice is medicinal for me.
Maybe I am making him out to be a saint, and that`s okay because to me he is. Even when it came to the issue of sex. I know he didn`t understand, hell, I didn`t even understand it myself. I love David so much and my only stumbling block to having a picture perfect life with him was sex. Sex is supposed to be a natural aspect of life. But I couldn`t do it. Didn`t want to do it. Finally , I was able to sit down with him and tell him just what it was that I wanted. What I was afraid of. And he did the same thing. Only neither one of us were accusatory . David was never condescending to me. He never told me that I didn`t try to please him.. When my ex did that...well, let me just say that it crushed me to the core.
He made me feel as though I was a terrible christian because he said.....I didn`t hear from God. He told me, and I quote that if I heard from God, that I wouldn`t deny him what was rightfully his.
Thank God David is not like that. I mean , The other night, he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me and told me he loved me. He didn`t touch me and didn`t kiss me... and we didn`t make love that night . He just told me he loved me. WOW.....that made my day.
I called him at work and told him that I appreciated what he did and he thanked me. Told me that no-one ever did that for him .
With David, I think I have found the one I am meant to be with. His understanding and calmness is unthinkable. Especially when it comes to me. I needed someone to look out for me , someone who would take me with all of my faults and shortcomings. David is special that way. Sometimes, when I thought it would never happen, I would go to bed crying. But now that it has, I still cry but I cry thanking God for sending me someone that was meant to be with me, not someone who wanted to take from me and de-mean me.
THE END