Angel In Waiting

By

Jan aka Gagesgirl

My feet pounded out a rhythm on the blacktop. My mind raced along with my legs as I ran. How was I going to tell him? Ben on one side of me and Bailey on the other, we were nearing the 5-mile mark. We crested the hill, the dogs hot and panting, me only a little winded. I had started running again when Megan was 6 weeks old, trying to get myself back in shape to return to work. I was finally strong enough and my leg pain-free.

After I knew what his thoughts on the subject were... how would I now tell him that I was pregnant?

When he walked in this morning, I kissed him then set out on my run. Even though he was tired, he took JR to the end of the lane to wait for the bus, Meggie in his arms. Johnny knew the routine.

I didn't get to run when he was on shift. But when he walked in the door, I was chomping at the bit to go. He would grin and kiss me, long and hard, giving me something to run home too, which I happily did.

A few weeks ago, I was feeling tired, so I went in for a check-up. That's when I got the good news. Well, I hoped Johnny would think it was good news. That was 3 weeks ago and I still hadn't gotten up the nerve to tell him. He had said that our two children were enough after Meggie was born, so I wasn't sure how he would react to this piece of news.

I slowed my pace as I hit our gravel lane, the dogs were lagging behind now.

"C'mon boys!" I encouraged.

Ben picked up his pace to come even with me again, but Bailey snorted and stayed where he was. Johnny and Megan were sitting on the porch waiting for us. Ben headed straight for the water trough and climbed in just as Bailey caught up.

"How was your run?" Johnny asked.

Hands on my knees, I looked up at him as sweat dripped from my face.

"Good... you should come along," I said with a grin.

"Oh no. Meggie and I are fine right here."

"Coward."

"Realist."

I laughed, then sat beside him.

"I'll go take a shower, then take her from you."

"No hurry," he said. "Right Meggie?"

She gave him a smile, reserved only for her Daddy.

"Da.. da..."

I knew he loved spending time with our children. My hope was that he would be at the best thrilled, and at the worst okay about having another. Our anniversary was in a few days and I opted to tell him then.

"Roy and Joanne are going to take the kids this weekend," I said as we ate a leisurely breakfast together later.

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" I asked, my voiced tinged with anger.

Megan looked up at me, startled by my tone, her lip thrusted out in a pout.

"Don't cry Megan. Shhh...." I said.

I gave her a rattle and the boo-boo face was replaced with a grin.

"I was only teasing honey. I remembered this is our 1st anniversary," he said, trying to appease me.

"You better have," I grumbled.

"Linsey... what's up with you?"

"Nothing," I replied, a little too quickly.

"I know you Linsey Gage. There's something bothering you. Spill it."

"There's nothing bothering me," I lied.

He looked at me intently, then shook his head.

"Have it your way."

"I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just... this weekend is important to me. I'm sorry."

"It's important to me too. I'm sorry for teasing you," he said, and then flashed me his customary grin.

If he only knew just how important...

__________

On Friday afternoon, Roy came to pick Megan and JR up for the weekend. JR was thrilled to be spending the weekend with his 'cousins', Chris and Jennifer. At 6 months of age, Meggie just went along with the flow.

I saw them off, luggage, diaper bags and toys carefully accounted for, as I waved from the porch. Johnny had said his goodbyes earlier and had headed out to repair a damaged fence before nightfall. Ben had gone with him, leaving Bailey behind with me. I glanced at my watch, and then went into the house to start dinner. I wanted it to be special, but Julia Child I wasn't. Bailey sat by, watching me with amusement, his Lab tail wagging in sync with the music on the radio.

"You're just alot of help," I remarked.

He grinned at me, his tail picking up its pace. I could hear the sound of hoof beats coming across the field. I looked out the kitchen window in time to see my husband... bare-chested and riding bareback... his arms widespread... galloping Dakota across the field. He looked absolutely primal and magnificent. God... he was wonderfully beautiful as his muscles rippled in the sunlight, his dark hair whipped in the wind.

"LINSEY!" he called as he pulled Dakota up to the porch.

"What is it?" I asked, stepping out onto the porch.

"Ride with me!"

"Now? Dinner is almost ready," I replied.

"Please? Come ride with me."

He sounded like an excited child and I couldn't say no. I hurried back into the kitchen to turn off the oven and stove. Eat your heart out Julia, I thought, I bet you never had a man like my husband to distract you.

Johnny pulled Dakota next to the steps and I scrambled onto the horses back in front of him. He turned Dakota back toward the field, lightly tapping the big gelding's side with his heels. Dakota obediently broke into a trot, then a canter and finally a full gallop. With Johnny's strong arms around me, I had no fear. The wind rushed through the horse's mane and our hair, leaving us breathless with its power. I leaned back into Johnny's chest, revelling in the feel and scent of him. We laughed, like a couple of naughty children, as we galloped across the open fields.

In a moment of sheer abandonment, I did what I had witnessed my husband do only moments earlier. I lifted my hands skyward, then leaned further back against him, closing my eyes. The sensation was intoxicating. I could feel Johnny release Dakota's reins and follow suit. As the gelding began to slow, we returned to ourselves.

"That was incredible!" I said excitedly.

"You're incredible," he said, and then kissed the back of my neck.

He gathered up the reins once more, his arms wrapped around me. In silence, we rode back to the barn. I watched as he cooled down the horse, and then turned him back into the field. Dakota kicked up his heels, still feeling the electricity from our ride.

Johnny retrieved his abandoned shirt, which he had tossed over a stall door. I could no longer contain myself when he turned around and grinned at me. I took his hand and led him to the ladder to the loft. The sun was just beginning to set as the beams streamed in through the hay window. He threw a blanket on the hay pile then tugged me toward it.

"Happy Anniversary," he said, then kissed me deeply.

"Happy Anniversary," I echoed.

We made love in the setting sun in the hayloft, my special dinner all but forgotten. Afterwards, we lay in each other's arms watching the glorious colours as day faded into evening. I decided now was the time to tell him my news. I sat up and looked at him... he smiled at me.

"Something wrong?"

"I need to talk to you."

"This sounds serious," he said as he rolled onto his side, then propped himself up. "Is this about work? We already talked about you going back to active duty. There's a physical test in 2 weeks..."

"No. This isn't about work," I replied, placing my fingertips over his mouth. "Do you remember when Megan was born, you said that the two of them were enough?"

"Yeah... and?"

"I'm pregnant," I said, quietly.

"You're.... "

"Pregnant."

He grew very quiet and I became very nervous.

"It wasn't something I planned. I thought that because I was breastfeeding Megan, I couldn't get pregnant. I thought wrong."

He still said nothing and now he no longer looked at me. I got dressed again in the fading light, our loving moment gone now. He tugged his jeans on, descended the ladder, and then walked out of the barn without another word. I watched him go, and then I slumped back into the hay pile and cried. I fell asleep, emotionally and physically drained. It was full dark when I crawled down the ladder, then slipped into the house silently. I didn't see him.

I wasn't prepared to confront him again, so I opted for a shower and a change of clothes. I walked down the back stairs into the kitchen, my dinner was ruined, so I dumped everything into the garbage, and then placed the dirty pots and pans in the sink.

Finally, I got the nerve to look for Johnny. I found him sitting on the porch swing out front. I watched him for a few minutes through the screen door... he seemed lost in himself. Tentatively, I opened the door and stepped onto the porch. He looked up and I could see that his face was wet with tears.

"We have to talk about this," I said as I sat beside him.

"There's nothing to say," he countered.

"This isn't just my fault," I said, frustration in my tone.

He glared at me. This was going much worse than I had anticipated. Then, to make matters worse... the phone rang.

"You're on call?" he grumbled.

"No! I told them I wasn't available this weekend."

He walked into the house, banging the screen door as he went.

"Hello... Gage Ranch.... well Chief Lauffer... how good of you to interrupt our weekend," Johnny said sarcastically.

I shook my head, then followed Johnny into the house.

"She isn't available this weekend... no, I won't let you talk to her..."

"Johnny... please," I said.

He thrust the phone at me, and then stormed out of the house. I heard the Rover start up, and then he was gone down the lane.

Tears spilled down my cheeks.

"What... is it Chief?" I asked.

Twenty minutes later, I was writing my husband a note and heading to another suspicious fire... this time 4 civilians were killed...

__________

The warehouse near the docks was a total loss. I cringed inwardly as I saw the 4 bodies laid out, yellow blankets covering them. Ben was quiet in his crate, somehow sensing what was going on. This fire was different...

In the 3 months since we had gotten back from Montana, there had been 12 suspicious fires... this was number 13. The investigation geared up again, as they hoped that the first fire was accidental. It wasn't, as Ben proved when he found accelerant scattered throughout the building. Neither was the second as I was sure neither would the 13th be. With the death of George Saunders, so had we hoped would be the death of these fires. But it was now 16 months later and the nightmare was continuing.

No one had gone to trial yet in the Saunder's arsons. They were still having a hard time finding proof that Saunders was hired by the building and business owners to torch their establishments. They only had the words he told me before he tried to kill me for a second time. Those words before I killed him in self-defence.

**********

The hotspots were still being doused, but I got Ben out of the truck and put on his boots. I wanted to get back home as soon as I could. Hopefully, Johnny would be back and we could talk this all out.

Ben was subdued as he started working, but soon he found a hit and indicated for me. He had multiple hits, but this time they seemed to be in a pattern in the structure.

"Map it out," I told one of the investigators. "There's definitely a set pattern to this."

After we covered the entire building, I gave Ben some water, then put him back in the truck. The last thing I had to do was investigate the bodies. Reluctantly, I walked over to the yellow sheets and lifted them one by one.

The smell of burned flesh is unmistakeable... and it stays with you forever. The victims were all men, 2 in their 20's, 1 in his 30's and the supervisor who was 40ish. Their hands were bound together with what looked like melted duct tape. I replaced the tarps, wanting to vomit right then and there. Part of it was the horror of their deaths, the other part was my pregnancy.

"Where did you find them?" I managed to ask.

"They were locked in a back office," Lauffer replied.

"This was done on purpose?" I asked as I felt my stomach roll again.

"Looks that way," Lauffer replied.

That was more than enough for me.

"If we're finished here... I'd like to get home. And I don't expect to be disturbed again this weekend... understood?"

Chief Lauffer frowned at me, then shuffled his feet.

"I can't guarantee that," he said.

"You better damn well guarantee it!" I shot back. "We're not the only arson team in LA County anymore."

"No. But you're the only one I want on this case."

I couldn't think of anything else to say that wouldn't get me fired. I spun on my heel, and then climbed into the truck.

**********

Apprehension and happiness fought for control as I saw the Rover parked near the barn when I returned. I let Ben out of the truck, and then walked up the front steps. Johnny was there, sitting on the swing again.

"Are you okay?"

"No. I'm anything but okay. I'm stupid and selfish and for the life of me, I don't know why you put up with me," he replied.

I sat next to him and wrapped my arms around him.

"Because I love you... that's why."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Me too. I should have been more careful."

"No Linsey... you were right. It took us both."

"So what do you want to do about it?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean... do you really want this baby?"

"Do you?"

"Yes," I answered simply.

He grew quiet again, so I waited. Whatever was really bothering him would come out. I was right...

"Yes... I want this baby too," he said.

"Why don't you tell me what's really bothering you?"

He sighed...

"I guess I'm just worried. I mean, we can barely make ends meet with the ranch and two kids. I still only make firefighter's pay. How can I send 3 kids to college on that?"

"Does it really matter? What if they don't want to go to college? Johnny... that's what student loans and scholarships are for," I replied with a grin. "Besides... as soon as this baby is born, I'll go back to work full-time. It will all work out."

I kissed him softly.

"You always have all the answers," he said with a grin.

"Not always... but most of the time," I quipped.

He scooped me into his arms and carried me into the house.

"You stink... did you know that?" he teased.

"No.... you're kidding," I replied.

He put me on my feet, but still held me close.

"Why don't you come show me where the soap is?" I said, a mischievous grin on my face.

"My pleasure..."

"No. I'm sure it will be ours...."

__________

The first letter arrived later that week after the 13th fire. This arsonist had been setting one fire a week for 13 weeks, bringing the total to 13. He started sending a calling card of sorts before he set the next fire. The disturbing part was they were being sent directly to me.

He was careful and left behind not one shred of evidence. No fingerprints, no fibres, no postmarks... nothing. He didn't need the US mail... he was delivering them straight to the mailbox at the ranch.

And with each new fire, the death toll rose. On top of being an arsonist, he was a murderer. There were now 18 dead as a result of his handiwork, including 2 firefighters.

It was Johnny who found the first one when he picked up the mail on his way home one morning. He hadn't opened it, but handed it to me with the rest of the mail addressed to me. I opened it then stared at the page. Each letter was painstakingly cut from magazines or newspapers to spell out his message.

'And if any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouths, and devoureth their enemies; and if any man will hurt them, he must in this manner be killed. Revelations 11:5' Fire number 14 happened on Sunday...

My face must have lost all colour because when I looked up at Johnny, he had an alarmed look on his face.

"Linsey? What is it?"

With shaking hands, I gave him the letter.

"I'm calling the police."

I nodded, unable to say anything at the moment. That was several weeks ago.

**********

Another week... another letter... another fire.... The letters were becoming a weekly occurrence. Letter number 2 came with this message...

'For her sins have reached unto heaven, and God hath remembered her iniquities. Revelations 18:5'

Fire number 15 followed the next night, with the loss of 5 more lives.

Letter number 3 contained this message...

"Therefore shall her plagues come in one day, death, and mourning, and famine; and she shall be utterly burned with fire; for strong is the Lord God who judgeth her.' Another passage from Revelations...

Fire number 16 followed the next day, in broad daylight. Six people were killed and 39 were injured.

And finally, the latest letter. Number 4.

I had taken Megan and JR to the store only to find the letter sticking out of the mailbox when we returned. I opened it with shaking hands.

'And the kings of the earth who have committed fornication and lived deliciously with her, shall bewail her, and lament her, where they shall see the smoke of her burning.' Revelations again...

"Mommy? Are you okay?"

I folded it up the note and shoved it back into its envelope. I flashed a smile at my son.

"Yeah honey... Mommy's fine. Let's go unload the groceries, then I have to talk to Daddy."

"Okay," he replied, clearly unconvinced that I was okay.

**********

"That does it Linsey... I want you out of this investigation now... today. If you won't call Lauffer, I will."

He had read the letter, convinced that this was a threat directed against me. Although nervous... I wasn't so sure that was right.

"I'll call him."

"If he pushes you to stay... just quit. Promise me?"

I hesitated, knowing what he was asking of me.

"Linsey... promise me," he repeated.

I thought back remembering all 4 letters. Each one was from the Book of Revelations. Each one with a reference to fire or destruction in one way or another. But in context, they were about Babylon. The investigator side of me wondered if this maniac was planning to burn down LA County one building at a time....

Johnny looked intently at me.

"You're 4 months pregnant. You don't need this stress Linsey. Quit... now."

I knew he wouldn't understand.

"I can't... not now."

I lowered my eyes, but felt his still boring through me.

"If I asked you to... would you?"

"I love you Johnny.... Lord knows that, but I can't walk away from this case... not now."

"Then when? When you're dead?" he asked me.

"It won't come to that."

"You don't know that," he said, imploringly. "I can't lose you... don't you understand that?"

"You won't."

"You don't know that," he repeated. "He's coming after you."

"Then I'll just have to be ready," I replied.

He tossed the letter onto the table, and then slammed out the back door. I watched his retreating back as he walked to the barn. I picked up the phone and dialed.

"Chief Lauffer, please."

__________

The clock on the kitchen wall read 4:15am. I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes as I poured over file after file from the George Saunders' fires. The more I read, the more I was convinced that these new fires were in no way tied to those. There wasn't a link. I was exhausted...

Johnny would be home in a couple of hours. He was still upset with me over my decision to continue in the investigation. He had begun taking overtime shifts and I rarely saw him. It was very troubling to JR who saw what was happening, but couldn't figure out why. I heard a small noise and turned to see JR come down the back stairs, blanket in tow.

"Hey you. What are you doing out of bed?"

"I couldn't sleep," he said as he crawled into my lap.

I kissed his temple, and then brushed the hair away from his face. He leaned against me, all warm and smelling of soap from his earlier bath.

"Why doesn't Daddy love me anymore?" he asked as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Oh honey... why would you say that?" I asked, my heart aching for my son.

"He's never here... He never plays with me or takes me ridin' or swimmin' when he is here."

I cuddled him close to my chest, his head under my chin. I began to rock him gently.

"Your Daddy loves you very much JR. There's just some things going on that you don't understand."

"You mean the fires."

"Yes... the fires and other things. It's nothing you need to worry about. I'll talk to Daddy. Okay?"

"No Mommy. HE has to love me. You can't tell him to do that."

I hugged him tightly, and then kissed his cheek. His tears tasted salty on my lips. He was wise beyond his 6 years.

"I love you very much and so does Daddy. C'mon now... I'll carry you back to bed."

His head dropped onto my shoulder as I carried him to his room. I tucked him into bed, then kissed his forehead.

"I love you," I whispered.

I closed his door, and then checked on Megan. She was fast asleep. Ben and Bailey were asleep in the hallway now, so I stepped around them and walked back downstairs.

The kitchen was a cluttered mess. I slowly began to pack the files back into their boxes. I flipped off the light, and then went into the living room. The couch was calling to me, so I sat down wearily. I fell asleep in minutes.

**********

His lips were gentle against mine. My eyes fluttered open and he smiled slightly at me.

"You should be in bed," he said, quietly.

"I needed to talk to you," I said as I sat up.

He sat beside me, concern on his face.

"What's happened?"

"It's JR."

"JR? What about JR?"

"He thinks you don't love him anymore," I blurted out.

His face registered a look of shock.

"He what?"

"He thinks you don't love him," I repeated.

"Why?"

"Think about it. You're almost never home because of your desire to ignore my continued involvement in this investigation. You are alienating your children in the process."

"I'm not!" he snapped at me.

"You are! Do you even care that I felt this baby move for the first time a few days ago? Do you care that JR thinks you are avoiding him and he thinks it's his fault?"

I struck a nerve, as he got up abruptly and began to pace. Tears burned in my eyes as I struggled to not allow them to spill over.

"I can't live like this Johnny. We barely speak to one another and it has been weeks since you even touched me."

"I just kissed you."

"That's not what I mean."

He walked over to the large bay window, crossed his arms and stared out. I walked up behind him, then wrapped my arms around his waist... his body tensed.

"I know we've talked about this before, but I can't drop out of this investigation."

"Can't? More like won't," he said, his body tensed again.

"You're right. I won't. This maniac has to be stopped and Ben and I can do it."

"Do it or die. Right Linsey?" he said, bitterness in his voice.

I stepped away from him like I had been burned. There was nothing more I could say to change his mind. I turned away from him, and then went upstairs to our room. Opening the closet, I pulled out a suitcase. I was packing when he came into the room.

"Where are you going?"

I didn't answer him as I continued to pack. He stepped toward me and grabbed my arms, spinning me around.

"Linsey, what do you think you're doing?"

"Oww... you're hurting me... let go," I said.

I don't think he realized how hard he was gripping my arms. He released his grip, his fingerprints red on my skin.

"Please Linsey... don't do this. Don't leave me... please?"

"I can't do this anymore Johnny. We can't keep living like this. I'm not going to leave this case until I've seen it through. There is too much at stake."

He stood in front of me, looking into my eyes and seeing my determination. I returned his gaze and could see tears shining in his eyes.

"I'm scared Linsey," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Saunders almost killed you, not once but twice. Can't you understand that I don't want to live without you?"

"Yes... I understand," I replied as I reached up and touched his smooth cheek. "But too many innocent people have lost their lives, including two of our own. I have to see this through."

He closed his eyes, not wanting me to see the war of emotions going on in them. A tear escaped down his cheek and I brushed it away.

He then reached into his back pocket and produced a familiar envelope. I took it from him, then opened it.

"And the fourth angel poured out his vial upon the sun; and power was given unto him to scorch men with fire." Revelations 16:8

I looked up at him again. He leaned down and kissed me. Without a word, he emptied the suitcase and shoved it back into the closet. He stood in front of me again, then lifted me in his arms and gently laid me on the bed.

We made love with an urgency and intensity that we hadn't had in a very long time. Afterwards, we snuggled together, his hand resting protectively on our unborn child. The baby moved under his hand, drawing a smile from him.

"Linsey?"

"Hmmm.?"

"Promise me... promise me you'll be careful."

"I promise."

**********

That night fire # 17 was set... The phone rang at 2:17 am. Johnny rolled over and answered it.

"Gage Ranch.... yeah Chief, hold on."

He handed the phone to me, a slight frown creasing his brow.

"Yeah Chief... yes sir... we'll be there as soon as we can."

I handed the phone back to Johnny, then flipped back my blankets.

"What's happened?"

"He's set another fire. They're still fighting the fire, but Lauffer wants Ben and I at the scene."

"Where?"

"He set a bunch of row houses on fire near the docks. They're still pulling bodies out."

__________

The flames were still leaping high into the night sky when Ben and I arrived on scene. I left him in the truck and went to find Chief Lauffer. I found him standing with the rest of the arson squad members and BC McConnikee.

"Gage.."

"Chief Lauffer... Chief McConnikee," I said in acknowledgement.

As I looked down the shabby street, I could see 7 or 8 houses fully engulfed in flames.

"Any survivors?"

"No... not that the crews have found. This was an extremely fast and hot fire. There wasn't time for anyone to get out," Lauffer replied.

There was a makeshift morgue set up behind one of the engines out of the line of prying eyes. I started counting.... so far there were 18 bodies, both large and small, lined up. My stomach turned as the wind changed direction allowing the scent of burned flesh to permeate my nose.

"Excuse me," I said, and then ducked behind a squad to empty the contents of my stomach.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Chief Lauffer.

"You okay Gage?"

"Yeah..." I said as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"You sure?" he asked, unconvinced.

I looked up at him, embarrassment showing on my face.

"No not really. The truth is Chief... I'm pregnant and the smell just got to me. I'm fine now and I can still do my job," I added.

I wasn't going to argue with you," he said with a smile "You're sure you're okay?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. As soon as they get the hotspots knocked down, I want you and Ben in there."

I nodded, then walked slowly back to my truck to wait. I opened the door and Ben whined plaintively.

"It's okay Benny. We need to wait for a bit yet. Go lie down."

He circled once in his crate, and then curled up in a ball. I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. I was awakened by the sound of my door opening.

"All clear Gage," Lauffer said.

"Okay... we'll be right there."

Ben stood as I came around to the tailgate. I put his boots on and snapped on his leash. I glanced over at the morgue on our way past.

"Twenty-one adults and twelve children... no survivors," Lauffer informed me.

I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat, and then nodded at him. With renewed determination, I tightened my helmet and Ben and I set to work.

**********

Three hours later, our work was finished. He had been clever with this fire. He had used jet fuel as an accelerant, which burned very fast and hot. The wood framed houses went up like a brushfire during the dry season.

Ben stood hot and panting near the back of the truck. I poured him some clean water and offered the bowl to him. I returned his gear to his bag and found the note inside...

"For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand? Revelations 6:17 Do you know who I am yet Linsey Gage? Have you figured it out? You're a very clever woman. The answer is closer than you think. Time is running out for you.

Lord of the Flame"

I broke out in a cold sweat as I frantically looked around the fire scene. He had been here... watching us. I suddenly felt weak, so I leaned against the truck trying to steady myself.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chief Lauffer approaching me.

"He was here... watching," I said as I handed him the letter.

Lauffer read it to himself, then stared unbelieving at me.

"Geez..." was all he could say.

He looked around too, and then looked back at me.

"I'll give this to the police. You'll have 24 hour security from now until this maniac is caught."

"That's not necessary. We'll be fine," I protested.

"It is necessary. I'll understand if you want out of this investigation. I mean, now with this direct threat and you have your family to consider."

"I'll let you know what my decision is," I replied. "I have to talk to my husband."

"That's understandable. Just let me know Gage."

**********

I returned home shortly before 6 am. The ranch and all its inhabitants were still and quiet. I cleaned up Ben, and then fed him a snack to hold him over until breakfast. I slipped quietly upstairs and got a quick shower. I smiled when I walked into our room and saw JR in Johnny's arms. Both of my boys were sound asleep, so as gently as I could, I slid in beside them, snuggling against their warm bodies. I drifted off into a troubled sleep...

__________

I had just fallen asleep when I felt someone move off our bed. I opened my eyes to see Johnny. It was quarter after 7 and he smile at me as he dressed in jean and a denim shirt. JR stirred by my side, only enough to change positions, but stayed asleep.

Johnny could tell by the look on my face that there was something wrong. I slipped out of bed, and then followed him out into the hallway. Not wanting to wake the children, I motioned for him to follow me downstairs. He spotted the sheriff's department unit sitting in front of the house through the window.

"What happened last night?"

"He was there... at the fire."

"What? Did you see him?"

"No.. but he left me a message and he signed it this time."

I handed him the copy I had written down, out of my notebook.

"Before you say a word, I'm dropping out of the investigation."

Instead of speaking, he pulled me into his arms.

"It's a some sort of sick game to him... the fires, the destruction, the deaths, the carnage. But I won't risk your lives. He's made it personal," I said, as I held onto him tightly.

"Thank you," he whispered, then lifted my chin for a kiss.

Johnny sat in witness as I called Chief Lauffer and told him that Ben and I were out... permanently. He told me he understood, but I could hear the disappointment in his tone. I didn't care... I had made my decision.

**********

Maybe it was coincidence, maybe it wasn't, but after I quit the case, the fires ceased and so did the letters. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize the truth. This had been an inside job from the word go. There was only a select group of people who knew I had resigned. I knew who it wasn't... I just had to figure out who it was.

**********

Two months had passed since I had resigned. Our lives seemed to return to some semblance of normalcy. The police presence was long gone, but the memory lingered on. Although I didn't admit it to Johnny...I was still working on the case in my own way. And soon our lives would be turned upside down again.

**********

Johnny was on shift that fateful day. JR, Megan and I had gone out shopping on that cool winter day. I was now 6 months pregnant. There was one thing that Johnny made me promise not to do while he was away.. handle the horses. I agreed, somewhat reluctantly, because of my size.

The neighbour’s son, Mike Scott came up each morning and evening when Johnny was at work to put the horses out and bring them in. He was there when we arrived home from our day of shopping.

"Hey Mike!" I called in greeting.

"Hi Mrs. Gage. Hey JR and Meggie," he replied with a smile.

"Everything okay?"

"Sure. The chores are done and the horses are in," he answered.

"Good... thank so much Mike. You want to stay for dinner?"

"Nah... thanks for asking though," he said as a slight blush crept into his face.

"Got a date with that special girl?"

"Yes Ma'am," he replied with a grin. "But I'll take a rain check on dinner."

"Any time Mike. Thanks again."

"You're welcome Mrs. Gage. I'll see you on the morning."

"Sure... have a good time tonight," I said, grinning.

"Thank you... I will."

He tipped his cowboy hat to me and mounted his own horse, Wyatt.

"Oh Mrs. Gage? Someone dropped off a letter for you. I put it in the kitchen. Do you need any help with the groceries?"

"Thanks Mike... No, we'll manage. You don't want to be late."

"G'night Mrs. Gage."

"Bye Mike!" JR called.

"See ya buddy. We'll go ridin' in the morning if you want to. Okay?"

"Cool! See ya!" JR replied, then dashed into the house with another grocery bag.

"Oh yeah.. and I didn't feed the barn cats. Their feed sack was empty."

"That's okay. I brought another one. JR can do it after supper," I replied.

"Okay then."

"G'night Mike."

He tipped his hat once more, and then tapped Wyatt's sides with his heels. He waved as he galloped across the field towards his family's property. I waved back, and then lifted Meggie out of the car.

I carried her in and put her in her playpen. Megan had become a demon crawler and cruised the furniture at every opportunity. She could get into trouble before I could say the word.

JR and I finished carrying in the packages. Once everything was put away, I started dinner, totally forgetting about the mysterious letter. The kids and I were fed, as were the dogs by the time I sat down to sort through the mail. JR was up in his room and I had already put Meggie to bed. I began sorting through the stack of mail. I heard JR plodding down the back steps.

"I forgot to feed the cats," he said, a sheepish grin on his face.

"Take the flashlight," I replied with a grinin return.

He banged out the back door as I picked up the letter. There was something strangely familiar about it. Panic washed over me, then with trembling fingers, I opened it.

"Neither repented they of their murders, nor of their sorceries, nor of their fornication, nor of their thefts. Revelations 9:21 I'm surprised that you quit playing the game so easily Linsey Gage. This is just to let you know, I haven't. Have you figured it out? Time is fleeting. Lord of the Flame"

I tossed the letter onto the table, and then picked up the phone. I dialled the station, but the phone only rang and rang. They must be out on a run. As I hung up the receiver, I saw a flicker of unnatural light coming from near the barn. It wasn't JR's flashlight. I rushed to the window and in horror, I realized the barn was on fire.... and JR was in it.

I dialed 911, then ran out to the barn.

"JR! Get out of the barn!" I called.

I heard him coughing as I ran into the barn to find him. He was on knees near the saddles, coughing and gasping for air. I grabbed his arms, and then tugged him to safety.

The horses were locked in their stalls for the night and I could hear their panicked screams. I rushed back in and by now half of the barn was engulfed in flames. I covered my nose and mouth with my hand and pushed through the smoke and growing heat. I reached Dakota's stall first. He was wide-eyed with fear. I spoke softly to him as I threw a burlap feed sack over his eyes, and then attached his lead rope. The smoke was thick and I was coughing as I led the big gelding to safety. I returned to repeat the process with Brandy and Cheyenne.

The flames were licking Sunni's stall as I returned for a 5th time into the burning structure. I could see the whites of her eyes and hear her high-pitched screams. I ducked as several beams crashed to the floor on fire.

Sunni was panicked as I tried to throw the feedbag over her eyes. She shoved me back forcefully against the wall. I fell to my knees gasping for breath. As I pulled myself up, she kicked out, connecting with my rib cage. Pain slashed through my body, then I felt a gush of fluid down my legs. The fire was all around us as I tried once more to cover Sunni's eyes. I could hear JR screaming and calling to me over and over.

Sunni reared up and away from me, striking out with her hooves and barely missing me by inches. I had no choice but to leave her or die along with her. Pain shot through my abdomen and chest as I struggled for air. I swung open her stall door in hopes that she would go out on her own. I stumbled forward, gasping for air. I heard JR's voice again, so I turned in that direction. Finally, I felt cool, fresh air hit my face.

I could hear Sunni's screams and whinnies. Tears rolled down my face because I knew she was lost. Pain suddenly radiated through my abdomen and I fell to my knees in the dirt.

"Mommy!" JR cried.

I could finally hear sirens approaching, as I collapsed gasping for breath. My abdomen contracted once again and I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain.

"No.. it's too... soon...," I coughed.

"Mommy? Are you okay?" JR asked as he knelt by my side.

I reached for his hand just as the barn roof collapsed. The echoes of sirens and the roar of flames were the last things I heard before the darkness descended. It was in that moment that I knew who the arsonist was...

**********

"Linsey... Sweetheart... open your eyes."

I heard his voice... which meant I probably wasn't dead, although I felt as if I should be. I peeled my smoke-filled eyes open slowly as they resisted. I had an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth, but my throat was swollen making me feel as if I couldn't breathe. Instinctively, I ran my hand over my belly in search of our baby. Johnny caught my hand in his. I looked at him with confusion. His warm, brown eyes were filled with tears. It was then that I remembered I had gone into labour. His eyes spoke volumes and I needed no words... our baby was dead. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks and I began to sob uncontrollably. Johnny pulled me into his arms and cried with me.

A few moments later, Dixie appeared, carrying a tiny bundle wrapped in a pink blanket. She placed the baby in arms, touched my cheek, and then left us alone with our daughter. With trembling fingers, I pulled back the blanket revealing our tiny little girl. She looked like a sleeping angel. As tears streamed down my face, I reached up and angrily yanked off my oxygen mask. I kissed our daughter's forehead... it was cool on my lips. Johnny held me tightly, his body quivering against mine, his chin on my shoulder, looking at our daughter.

"Those... Gage... genes... again..." I said, my voice hoarse form the smoke.

She indeed, like our other children, looked like Johnny. Dark, sparse fuzz covered her tiny head. I closed my eyes, suddenly not wanting to look.

"I'm... so... sorry..." I said, then began to sob again.

"It's not your fault," Johnny whispered.

"It... is...," I countered, then cuddled our daughter to my chest.

"Linsey... don't."

We took turns holding our little angel in waiting for another hour or so. The finally, we chose her name... Katelyn Rose...

__________

The days following Katelyn's death and the fire were a blur to me. I had suffered smoke inhalation and several fractured ribs from Sunni's kick. I was in and out, in my pain-filled haze. When I was awake, I cried myself back to sleep. While I had nothing but time on my hands to dwell, Johnny was at home, struggling with his emotions and our children.

I was released 3 days after losing the baby. While other mothers had a warm, new life to hold in their arms, mine were empty and cold as I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for Johnny. But it wasn't Johnny who showed up to take me home... it was Roy. He smiled at me when he entered the room.

"Ready to go?"

"Where is he Roy?"

He picked up my bag and the lone bouquet of flowers, but didn't meet my eyes.

"Roy... where's Johnny?"

"Dealing with this his own way. He's digging the baby's grave at the ranch," he said, quietly.

I closed my eyes against the sting of tears. I thought I had no tears left to cry, but several proved me wrong as they escaped down my cheek.

"Linsey... he doesn't blame you."

"Don't kid a kidder Roy. You know damn well he does. I blame myself! I walked right into that bastard's trap and it cost us more than anyone can imagine," I replied angrily.

I was not coping well at all...

"The fire was ruled arson. Johnny took Bailey out after he left here that night. Bailey indicated strongly at the point of origin."

"Is that supposed to justify Katelyn's death?" I snapped.

"That's not what I'm trying to do Linsey. I just thought you'd want to know," Roy said, patiently.

"I'm sorry Roy."

"You don't need to apologize. C'mon, let's get out of here."

He held the wheelchair for me as I sat down, then he pushed me to the elevator.

"Did he tell you that he hasn't been here since that night?"

"He's taking this hard Linsey. Johnny is a sore loser."

"But I need him Roy," I said, quietly. "We need each other."

"Give him some time Linsey. He'll come back to you."

"How do you know?"

He stopped at the hospital entrance and walked around in front of me.

"I've been there... right where he is now. Joanne and I lost our first born, Roy Jr. two years before Chris came along."

"I... I didn't know," I replied.

"Not too many people outside the family do. But Johnny is one of them," he said with a small smile.

Roy helped me into the front seat of his car, and then closed the door. When he got in, I looked at him.

"Does it ever get any easier?"

"In time Linsey... in time."

**********

The burned rubble of the barn was the first sight to greet me upon my return home. The terrible memories of that night flooded into my mind, along the wish to go back and change things. Roy reached over and took my hand in his, giving it a squeeze. I dragged my eyes away from the barn and focused on him instead. He pulled up next to the house and JR bolted out the door.

"Mommy!"

I smiled, then gathered him into my arms.

"Mommy, I missed you," he said as he hugged me tightly.

He let go and stepped back, his blue eyes shining as he looked at me.

"I'm sorry about the baby, Mommy," he said, quietly. "Daddy told me."

"Thank you sweetheart," I said, choking back emotions.

He took me by the hand, leading me to the house. Peggy Scott was there with Meggie. The baby grinned as she held her arms out to me. I took her and snuggled her tightly to my chest.

"Ma... ma... ma... ma..."

I smiled, and then kissed her cheek. Peggy lifted her up and took her back, resting her on her hip.

"How are you Linsey?" she asked, sadness in her eyes.

"Okay, I guess. Where's Johnny?"

"He still hasn't come in yet."

I nodded then looked back at Roy. He was about to speak, but I lifted my hand to silence him.

"I know where he is."

"Linsey, do you want me to go with you?"

"No Roy."

**********

It was slow going for me as I walked to where I knew my husband would be working. By the time I arrived, my ribs were hurting and I was short of breath.

He was shirtless in the dappled sunlight, leaning on a shovel. He must have sensed someone's presence because he turned to look in my direction. I walked slowly toward him.

"Hi." I said, softly. "It's a beautiful spot."

"Yeah... this is the spot I had chosen for myself some day. I never thought I'd be burying my child here."

There was anger in his voice as he spoke.

"Say it Johnny. It's my fault. It's my fault that Katelyn is dead."

He glared at me, his anger and resentment clear in his expression.

"Why Linsey? Why the hell didn't you just let it burn? The horses, the barn... it could all be replaced! But we can't replace the life of our daughter!"

"What do you want me to say? Don't you dare for one moment think that I don't wish I could go back! You can't hate me anymore than I hate myself!" I screamed back at him.

"I don't hate you! I just can't understand! Why?! Why would you risk your and our unborn child's life for nothing?!"

"It wasn't for nothing! JR was in that burning barn!!"

"But once you had him out, you didn't have to go back in!" he yelled. "You're a firefighter for God's sake, Linsey! You knew the danger!"

"I know! I know!" I said, breaking down.

I slid onto my knees in the dirt.

"This is all because you just can't let things alone!! I know that you're still working on that case! Do you see what you've done?!!"

He grabbed his shirt and the shovel, and then mounted Dakota in a single move. Without a word, he turned the horse down the trail, leaving me alone in my grief.

Johnny moved into the guestroom that night... He told JR it was so I could get my rest. The truth was that he couldn't bear to be near me. I was losing him... and in turn... myself.

**********

I'm not sure how, but somehow I got through Katelyn's funeral the next day. The service was attended by close friends and family. On such short notice, Johnny's family was unable to attend. My mother made it though and when she arrived, she became my rock as Johnny grew more and more distant.

We buried Katelyn Rose Ryan Gage on the hill under the stand of great oak trees, overlooking the lake. I'll never forget the sight of that tiny coffin.... And with her, went an irretrievable part of my heart...

__________

As the days and weeks passed, my grief melted into anger. I visited Katelyn's grave daily. Whether it was out of love or a sense of guilt, I didn't quite know.

Johnny and I were living separate lives, together. He went to work and came home, then repeated the process over and over. I took care of the children and the ranch. We didn't speak to each other unless it was absolutely necessary. That didn't go unnoticed by sensitive JR. He began showing symptoms of stress. He was having trouble sleeping and his teacher called me on several occasions about his bad behaviour and falling asleep in class. Our lives were falling apart...

**********

It was with renewed determination that I delved back into the investigation full force. This man had cost me the life of my child, so I was going to make him pay, no matter what the price.

It all started to make sense to me at the barn fire... the coincidences, the letters, the threats. I wondered why I hadn't seen it all sooner. Maybe Katelyn would still be alive. I needed proof... irrefutable proof before I could confront him. I couldn't be reckless, I had to be calculated and calm and make NO mistakes. It was the only way to stop him permanently. And who was this HIM? None other than LA County Arson Chief, Matt Lauffer.

I lifted the box of file copies from the Saunders' fires out of the closet. There was some force pulling me back to them. They were calling to me, begging me to read them again. I sat down at the kitchen table and began with the first folder. An hour into my quest, I stumbled onto what I needed.

One of the buildings torched was owned by a group of investors, including a C.A. Lauffer. Matt Lauffer was married to a Cheryl Ann....C.A. I had my connection. I would bet that he was Saunders' business partner.

Upon further investigation, I found 3 more buildings with other names and C. A. Lauffer. Why hadn't I seen it before? I kicked myself mentally. There it was... in black and white. Jake and I must have cost him a great deal of money. I slammed the folders shut, tears clouding my vision as the papers fluttered to the hardwood floor. Ben walked over and placed his chin on my leg. I stroked his soft head as his steady brown eyes watched me.

I could hear Johnny's boots on the porch, then he opened the door and Bailey plodded in with him. He looked at the files strewn all over the table, picked up one of the papers that had fallen, then glared at me.

"I know who it is," I said, softly.

He looked at me, his gaze level.

"Chief Lauffer..."

At first, the colour drained from his face, then he flushed angry red.

"That sonofabitch," he hissed, and then stormed back out of the house.

I was on my feet in seconds, chasing after him.

"Wait Johnny!" I called.

But he wasn't listening as he stalked toward the Rover. I ran after, grabbing his arm.

"Not like this!" I pleaded. "Not like this!"

He stopped and turned around, his eyes full of anger and pain.

"We have to go about this the right way... the legal way."

I gently tugged on his arm to bring him back to the house. Somewhat reluctantly, he followed. We sat down at the kitchen table and I showed him what I had found.

"He couldn't be as blatant as Saunders. I'm sure he was getting a kickback for having Saunders do the dirty work. Lauffer ruled it arson... the insurance money was paid, plus he got extra for his work... the rotten bastard."

He sat silently contemplating what I had just shown and told him.

"Can you prove it?" he asked, finally.

"Yes..."

For the first time in weeks, he gave me a small smile, then sobered.

"He'll kill you if he can when he finds out you're on to him."

"Oh... he'll try, but I don't care at this point. The only thing that matters is nailing him for Katelyn's death and the deaths of al those other people."

He nodded slowly, then handed me back the papers.

"I know you're still angry with me, but that won't bring Katelyn back. I feel like you believe that I did this on purpose..."

He started to speak, but I silenced him.

"Not a second or a minute or a day goes by, that I don't think of her. And every night, I relive the nightmare. Every night Johnny.... I can't eat. I can't sleep. I hate that I made the wrong choice that night, but if I can't forgive myself, I can never move forward.

I sighed, then met his eyes.

"I still love you with all of my heart, even if you don't love me anymore. And I don't want to lose you. I can only tell you I am so sorry for what has happened..." I said, my voice trailing off as my tears began to flow.

Without a word, he got up from the table and went upstairs. I hung my head in defeat, believing that I had just lost him completely...

**********

The nightmare was the same.... the flames, the screams of the horses, the cries of my son. I was in the clutches of the devil, the very devil I had been trained to fight against. The flames licked at me, getting closer and closer until I thought I was going to be turned to ashes. I cried out, but no one heard me, so I called again and again. In my terror, I felt someone wrap their arms around me, dragging me to safety. It felt so real that I awoke with a start, my body covered in sweat as I tried to slow my ragged breathing. But it wasn't part of the nightmare... it was Johnny, holding me in his arms.

"Shhhhh..... I've got you Linsey... I've got you," he whispered, soothingly.

I held onto him tightly as my body continued to tremble. He brushed the hair back from my face, then kissed my temple.

"It's okay Sweetheart," he said.

I blinked my eyes rapidly wondering if I still wasn't dreaming, but I wasn't. He was here... with me... holding me. I took in a ragged breath as I looked up at him. In the moonlit room, I could see his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I didn't mean to let it happen," I said, and then my own tears fell.

I buried my face in the crook of his neck, sobbing uncontrollably.

"I know... shhhhh...."

"I wanted... that... baby..." I continued.

"I know," he repeated.

I could feel his body tense as he struggled to maintain his control.

"I'm... sorry..."

He leaned back against the headboard, pulling me closer. Johnny's body began to quiver, and then the floodgates opened wide. We lay wrapped in each other's arms, crying together for OUR loss. We stayed that way until there were no more tears left to cry...

"I'm the one who should be sorry," he said, finally.

The room was chilling off, so I reached for the blankets and pulled them around us both.

"I'm sorry for blaming you Linsey. I know it wasn't your fault. I was just so angry with myself, that I wanted to blame anyone but me."

"What do you mean?"

" I guess you could say I had a wake-up call. I was angry because I couldn't protect you for one. Do you remember when you first told me that you were pregnant? Do you remember my reaction?"

"Uh-huh.. You were less than pleased."

"Yeah, and you asked me if I really wanted this baby. And I said yes," he said, and then sighed. "That was a lie. I only said that to make you happy."

I was silent, waiting for him to continue.

"I didn't want another child."

"Losing Katelyn wasn't your fault. It was an accident."

"But maybe... I don't know. I haven't handled any of this very well from the beginning. I should have been honest with you about my feelings. Instead, I chose to lie. I wanted to put the blame on someone else besides myself. I was wrong Linsey. I've put us through hell these last 2 months."

"It's all right. I don't blame you."

"No, it isn't. I'm so sorry honey. I do love you with all of my heart. You're my soul mate, my other half... I'm nothing without you," he said, his voice cracking with raw emotion.''

I felt one of his tears drop onto my cheek, mingling with my own. I sat up and turned on the bedside light. I wanted to see him.

"It isn't your fault or mine. We have to let it go now if we are ever to move on."

I reached up and wiped away his tears with my hand. He caught my hand and placed a kiss on my palm.

"I love you John Roderick Gage. Nothing can change that... nothing."

"The Spirits know I love you too Linsey."

I snuggled back into his bare chest, enjoying the scent and feel of him again. He stroked my hair and cheek softly.

"Stay with me," I said.

"I'm not going anywhere ever again."

I reached over and clicked off the light, He gathered me back into his embrace and I fell into a deep sleep for the first time since the baby's death. He was there to banish the nightmares and I knew they wouldn't return. Somehow, we were going to get through this... together.

__________

His day of reckoning was at hand... on an early spring day in Los Angeles. It had taken me another long month to gather all of my evidence, and then present it to DA Mark Reid. Although in shock, he agreed that Chief Lauffer's time had come.

There had been another fire 2 days ago and after all this time, the public was demanding answers. Chief Lauffer had set up a press conference to try and ease the public's concerns... or so he said. The only one easing any fears today would be me.

Accompanied by 4 uniformed police officers, DA Mark Reid and Ben, I calmly walked into the arson squad's headquarters. Lauffer had outdone himself with every major network, newspaper and radio station in attendance. This, afterall, was big news.

I left the others in the outer hallway, and then Ben and I went in alone. I could hear the Chief rambling on and on as he fielded the reporters' questions when I walked into the room. He looked up and smiled at me. I wanted to vomit.

"And here’s a surprise... this is our top canine arson team... LA County firefighter/ paramedic Linsey Gage and her partner Ben," he said in introduction.

Cameras clicked and lights flashed at us, but I wasn't smiling. Ben could feel my tension as I held onto his lead. My eyes locked with Lauffer's. Slowly his smile faded. Ben's growling became persistently louder, as all attention was focused on us. From behind me, the police officers and Mark Reid filed in. The room became eerily quiet.

One of the officers stepped forward.

"Chief Matthew Lauffer, you are under arrest for arson and 1st degree murder," he stated. "You have the right to remain silent...."

Lauffer's face registered disbelief.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he asked.

I slammed the stack of papers I carried onto the table in front of him.

"No Chief... no joke at all. Its here is black and white," I replied, coolly.

Ben stepped forward, baring his teeth slightly. Lauffer backed up a few steps.

"What are you trying to do Gage?" he asked, his voice fairly squeaking.

"Stop you from killing anyone else," I answered, evenly. Like my baby, I thought.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," Lauffer said, defensively.

The media scrambled for the reports scattered on the table. Collective gasps engulfed the room as they read. Lauffer picked up a report, then his face drained of all colour as he read. He looked up at me with murder in his eyes.

"You Bitch!" he hissed.

He took several threatening steps toward me, except he forgot about the dog standing near. Before anyone else could react, Ben let out a menacing growl, then snapped his teeth at the Chief.

"If you'd like to keep that hand, I wouldn't get any closer," I said.

He glanced down at Ben, who looked absolutely feral, then back at me.

"It's over Lauffer. Your day of reckoning has arrived."

With great satisfaction, I watched as he was handcuffed and they finished reading him his rights. The officers led him away as he spat expletives at me along the way. DA Mark Reid shot me a grin as he followed them out. The media, now over their initial shock, began yelling questions at me. I looked over toward the doorway for an escape route and saw Johnny holding Megan, with JR standing there.

"Ladies and Gentlemen... We have no comment at this time," I said calmly, and then strode confidently to the door with Ben.

The press was going crazy, wanting more. Johnny gave me his trademark grin, then kissed me gently.

"Let's go home," I said as I took JR's hand in mine.

**********

That night, we made love for the first time in months. It was a renewal for us both in mind, body and spirit. Afterwards, we lay wrapped in each other's arms, the sheets in a tangle around our legs. My thoughts turned to other things and as if he were psychic, he sensed it.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I had my ear on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. A tear slipped down my cheek and onto his bare skin.

"Yeah... I guess," I answered.

"No you're not... you're crying. What's wrong Linsey? Tell me."

"Today... today is Katelyn's original due date," I said in a small voice.

He wrapped me tightly in his arms, then kissed the top of my head.

"It's okay... let it out," he said.

I cried... and so did he once again. He was no longer afraid to show me his feelings. I knew him too well, as he did me. I held onto him tightly, like a life preserver in a stormy sea. We both fell asleep in each other's arms...

**********

In the morning, we took JR and Megan and went to Katelyn's grave. JR had picked a bouquet of flowers from our garden and placed them gently on the tiny grave. He smiled up at me, then reached out for a hug.

"Will I ever get to meet Katie someday?" he asked.

"Someday JR. someday, but until then she's our little angel. She's got Jake up there to watch over her now," Johnny said.

"That's good... Jake was always my best friend, now he can be Katie's," he said with a grin.

**********
Chief Matthew Lauffer was found guilty on 24 counts of arson and 53 counts of 1st degree murder, along with multiple other charges.... He was sentenced to life in prison with no chance for parole... His wife was exonerated of all charges, as she had no idea what had gone on. He had asked her to sign some papers and she did. She didn't even know he had used her name fraudulently. Cheryl Ann Lauffer filed for divorce before the case even went to trial...

**********

My feet pounded out a rhythm on the blacktop. I had started running again in preparation for re-taking my firefighter's exam. Bailey on one side of me, Ben on the other, we were heading for home. Johnny was there to greet us...

"I have a surprise for you. Actually two surprises," he said, cryptically.

Hands on my knees, I looked up at him as sweat dripped from my face and onto the dirt in front of me.

"I'm waiting," I replied.

"I'm going to take the Captain's exam..."

I leaped into his arms, hugging him tightly.

"That's wonderful!" I replied, happily. "And?"

"If you want to... I mean in the future a bit... I'd like for us to try and have another baby," he said, softly. His eyes were twinkling and I saw no doubts there this time.

"You know what that means?" I asked.

"What?"

"Lots of practice," I said, mischievously.

"No time like the present," he replied, then swept me into his arms.

"Practice makes perfect," I said, as I kissed the side of his neck.

"I like your work ethic, Linsey Gage."

"I like you...."

He silenced me with a feverish kiss.

"You talk too much..."

Laughing, he carried me to our room so we could begin our practicing.

The end.... for now <G>