Reminiscing

by

Amye

October, 2005

Anna called this morning. She said to come up as soon as possible then put Hutch on the phone for a moment. His raspy words “I need you Starsk”, sent a shiver through my body. There was no way I couldn’t respond to his request. We’ve been there for each other through the good times and the bad. So here I sit on a plane to Toronto, then onto Hutch’s. For the last time.

I guess this last bout of pneumonia did him in. His lungs, weakened since his battle with the mysterious plague that hit Bay City back in, oh ’78 or so, just wore out the doctor’s say.

I look out the window and stare at the bright blue sky, the color reminding me of Hutch’s eyes. Even as he aged, the color and brightness of those eyes never dimmed. And soon they would be closed forever.

When was the last time we saw each other? His eldest son’s wedding? Or my son’s? Why didn’t we make more time? It passes so quickly now, that sometimes I wonder what month it is. It seems like just a few years ago we were two smart-ass street cops who thought they could take on the world. Me and thee against the world we used to say. Nothin’ and no one could break us apart.

Until I got gunned down….

All during that last year of bein’ partners, we were worn down and heading toward burn out. Especially Hutch, even though he wouldn’t admit it, still won’t admit that there were some fractures in that marble of justice he was.

Once on my way to recovery, both of us started looking at life like we had just drunk from the Fountain of Youth. Almost dying makes you look at everything differently. So we decided we really didn’t want to get burned on the streets. When we were younger, hell it probably wouldn’t have bothered us, we would’ve gloried in it. Not anymore. It wasn’t the hero/martyr death that we thought it once was and that young men dream of.

So I went on disability and Hutch took the exam for Lieutenant and transferred to Forensics. Eventually I got a job in a film studio doing camera work and lighting. But still we remained ‘me and thee’. It wasn’t the same, but things change and life goes on. And I’m thankful that I’m still around to see the changes.

Then I met in Julie in the spring of 1980 and the three of us were inseparable. It was just like when Terry was still around. Julie and Hutch had so much in common and became best friends. No more competitions trying to prove who’s the better guy, like with Kira and Alison for example. This was real.

And then Anna came back into Hutch’s life. With glasnost – what a weird word – and all that buddy, buddy stuff between the US and Russia, it made it easier for her to defect. But she loved her country, just like Hutch loved his. So they compromised and decided to make their home in a new country. They moved to Canada. In the outskirts of Toronto, some godforsaken lost place called Scugog.

Anna taught dance and raised lots of little Hutchinson’s, and Hutch became a gardener.

I chortle to myself. Like Hutch being a gardener is any big surprise. He got this plot of land near Lake Scugog and started his own greenhouse. I always wondered if he kept catching stuff from being around all those leafy things and that made his lungs worse.

Oh well, I shrug. No use playing the ‘what if’ game. I used to love playing that game – just because of how much it annoyed the Blintz. There was this one particular time I made up a stupid ‘what if’ about my name. Boy, did that confused Hutch. The look on his face…

Priceless….precious….

If I close my eyes and take a deep breath, and I can still see him all young and bright-eyed. Ready to take on the world with nothing but his intelligence, his strength, and me at his side. Where did the years go?

After they moved, we saw each other as often as we could, but then the babies came – three boys and a girl for Hutch and Anna, and a boy and girl for me and Julie. It got harder to travel and more complicated, so we contented ourselves with the weekly phone call and yearly vacation to keep in touch.

Eventually Huggy married and Captain Dobey retired and Hutch came back for those events. When Anna won a local citizen’s award for her work with handicapped adults, and when the kids graduated, we made the trip up there. Twice Hutch got real sick with pneumonia and I made the trip by myself to ‘mother hen’ him back to health.

Now I go by myself again….

Julie will meet me up there when the time comes. She couldn’t get off work with such short notice. It’s easier for me to travel to meet the kids somewhere or visit with Hutch, Huggy, or Nick since I’m retired. Besides, she told me that me ‘n Hutch need some time alone before…before Hutch goes.

Time. It always played an important part in our lives. There was the two days I had to find Callendar to save Hutch; the 24 hours Bellamy gave me when I got poisoned; that time we got trapped in a barn and the bad guys gave us an hour to live; lots of waiting for the doctors when your partner’s injured. Other instances: Waiting for our brides to walk down the aisle; for our kids to be born; waiting for the doctor to tell you that your kid’ll be okay after falling from a tree; the time spent watching your mother deteriorate from cancer.

The seat belt light just came on. Guess that means we’ll be landing soon. It’s funny how no one pays attention to seatbelts until they have kids. I almost lost Hutch once because I didn’t insist he wear a seatbelt. I really thought for a while I’d lost my partner.

Once I did lose him. Or was it twice? I rub my palm on my forehead. I don’t want to forget. That’s all I’ll have left of Hutch and the memories of the two of us together are more valuable to me than my own life.

I’m going to miss my friend, but I’ll always have the memories of what we meant to each other. The happy days and the bad days. The days we barely spoke to each other, and the days we laughed so hard it hurt. I’ll miss his scolding and his support. His occasionally arrogant, overbearing attitude; and his snappy wit. But most of all I think I’ll miss just knowing that I could pick up the phone to talk to him when I needed to.

And I still have my Julie. Anna’s losing her soul mate, her lover. Both Hutch and Anna grew old together beautifully. Hair a pale, pale yellow – almost white; muscles still firm from all the activity through the years. Soft, gentle smiles that still lighten a person’s heart and make them feel welcome. Laugh lines that added more beauty and character to their faces. Of course, Hutch did lose quite a bit of his golden locks. I grinned inwardly while running a hand through the thick grayness atop my head. I’ve teased him relentlessly about that over the years.

But his eyes never dimmed. They shone in love or blazed in anger. I’ll never forget the brightness of his eyes. Whenever I’m missing Hutch all I have to do is look up to the sky to see Hutch there. His eyes reflected in the blueness of the sky, his touch as soft as the fleeting clouds, his voice speaking through the wispy air.

The plane lands and it brings me closer to Hutch and the end. No- not the end but another beginning for him and another turn in my ever-changing life.