Loves Finest Hours
By
I
have never written a story in the first person before. So this is all new
for me. I purposely left out the names of the guys so that each individual
reader could make it their own.
Speechless. That’s
how I feel right now. And hopeless. Have you ever found yourself standing
in front of one of life’s cruel ironies? That’s where I am now. Forced to
face the cruelest irony of all.
Love comes at the
most unexpected times in our lives and if we are not careful, it could be
taken from us too.
I have been wandering
around this town for a few hours now, trying to figure out how to tell my
one true love........that I am dying. Inside, my body trembles. It isn’t the
dying that hurts; it’s the being away from him. If you have ever been in love
you know exactly what I mean. Oh he is a wonderful person. When we met, he
made my heart skip a beat. Just his presence...commanding yet gentle. Just
yet compassionate. His smile melted away my pain and I felt as though I could
surrender to him, all of who I am, and I knew he would treasure that. My secrets are safe with him, as his are with
me. Right from the start we seemed to have this " thing" we always
knew what the other was thinking. And we respected each other. Every moment
of the last two years I have felt my love for him grow deeper and deeper.
Our marriage meant that we would have a lifetime together, not two years and
two months. That’s how much time they have given me. Two lousy months. That is why this hurts so much.
And here I am, slowly
approaching the place where he is...the place where we met. I see him now
and his partner too. Both tall and handsome but only one can lay claim to
being my one true love. Oh I didn’t tell you? They are Detectives...with the
Bay City Police Department.
In alot of
ways...they were married to each other and the job way before he came to know
me. That’s what has sustained them. Their friendship. And yet oddly enough, I am thankful that his
partner never made me feel as though I was an unwelcome third party to their
little partnership. Much to the contrary, I felt like I always belonged. You
know...with them. Many people didn’t
understand. They thought I was crazy. But I didn’t care. I knew I belonged and that’s
all that mattered. I know what I have learned by being around them over the
last 3 years or so. I learned about compassion, and loyalty. I also learned
about sacrifice and how important it is to love Christmas. (It keeps you young)
Silly
me......rambling on. All of this rambling
has overshadowed the impending task. Do you know I even toyed with the idea
of not telling him? The thought of
having to tell him cuts me to the core, because my love for him....heck...them.....It
is so strong that it runs as deep as the ocean...and it is just as strong
as the tallest redwood trees in the California forests.
He
looks at me and whispers to me that whatever this was, we would go through
it together.
How could I deny,
my husband, the compassionate warrior, this opportunity to walk beside me at my
darkest hour?
His facial expression
told me that he knew. His actions told me he knew. His “I Love You "
caressed my broken heart and healed my troubled mind.
Two Lousy Months?
..........Not to him......To him these will be
Speechless is a
new song written by Michael Jackson for his newly released CD Invincible 2001
It was this song
that inspired me to write this short piece. Here are the words:
Your love is
magical, that’s how I feel
But I have not
the words here to explain
Gone is the grace
for expressions of passion
But there are
worlds and worlds of ways to explain
To tell you how I
feel.
But I am
speechless, speechless
That’s how you
make me feel
Though I’m with you
I’m far away and nothing is for real
When I’m with you
I am lost for words, I don’t know what to say
My hearts
spinning like a carousel
So silently I
pray
Helpless and
Hopeless, That’s how I feel inside
Nothings real but
all is possible if God is on my side
When I am with
you, I am in the light where I cannot be found
It’s as though I
am standing in the place called
Hallowed Ground
Speechless,
Speechless that’s how you make me feel
Though I’m with
you I am far away and nothing is for real
I’ll go anywhere
and do anything Just to touch your face
There’s no
mountain high I cannot climb
I’m humbled in
your grace
Speechless speechless
that’s how you make me feel
Though I’m with
you I am lost for words and nothing is for real 3x
You’re love is
magical that’s how I feel
But in your
presence I am lost for words
Words like “I
Love You”
