By
Wee2E!s
( E51Writer@aol.com & Julie H.)
John Gage stirred in his bunk, unable to find the right position of comfort to lay still. He tried to think of things other than work, willing his mind to drift away and let him sleep, but it didn’t work. After laying there for over an hour, he decided to give up the effort and get up.
Slowly pulling on his turnout pants, he made sure to not snap his suspenders once he pulled them over his shoulders, not wanting to disturb the other men who found sleep so much more easily than he could.
As he walked towards the door of the dorm, one set of eyes opened, watching him as he left. Roy DeSoto sighed, sitting up as he stretched his tired muscles. He then yawned, bringing his feet down on the cold floor.
Johnny walked through the apparatus bay slowly, making his way towards the kitchen as quietly as possible. Getting himself a glass of milk, he silently pulled out a chair from the table and sat down, sipping the milk as he looked at the clock. 3:30am. Just a little while longer and the shift would be over.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Suddenly Johnny looked up, startled to see his partner standing in front of him. He’d never heard the first approaching footstep.
“I’m sorry,” John apologized, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t wake me, I
think I was too wound up from the last run. It’s not every day you get to deliver
twins.”
Johnny chuckled. “Yeah, even the second one couldn’t wait to get to the hospital.
That was some run.”
“Is that why you’re still awake?”
“Guess so. Just couldn’t sleep.”
Roy went to the refrigerator and got out the milk carton after retrieving himself a glass from the cupboard. It wasn’t long before he was sitting across from his partner, his eyes showing their worry.
He waited for Johnny to speak, to start any conversation - he didn’t care what they discussed. But his friend’s silence continued.
“You feeling okay, Johnny?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I don’t know. You’ve just been quiet today, and I was wondering if anything was bothering you. That’s all.”
“Nope, nothing I can think of,” his friend answered, then finished drinking his milk.
“Everything okay at the ranch?”
He looked at his partner, knowing he was sensing something was amiss, but John really didn’t want to talk about it. How was he to talk about “it” when he wasn’t sure of the thoughts that troubled him?
“The ranch is fine. The horses are good. Even the grass is cut. All’s well.”
Roy sat back in his chair, keeping his eyes on John while he situated himself comfortably. “Well, something seems to be bothering you Johnny, and I’m just worried, that’s all. How’s Gloria?”
Damn. He’d hit the nail right on the head. Roy was always able to do that, no matter how irritating it could be.
Johnny took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I don’t know. I mean, things were going so good for so long … you know, she and I had even started talking about settling down together and, well, she’s been acting different lately.”
“Different how?” Roy asked, glad to finally find the reason for his partner’s quiet mood, not wanting the subject to drop now that it was on the table. “Is she having second thoughts about settling down with you?”
“Oh no – that’s the furthest thing from what she’s thinking. She’s even been telling folks that we’re unofficially engaged,” he stated with a slight roll of his eyes. He waited for Roy’s reaction to what he’d just said, but his best friend just nodded, asking him to continue without speaking the words. “No, it’s just that she, well, it’s like her personality is changing or something. One minute she’s sweet and caring, the next she’s all uptight and getting smart with a waitress like at the restaurant the other week – or the cashier over at Grover’s Market the other night. I mean, she was just plain mean to those ladies just ‘cause they spoke to me or smiled. It’s kinda freaking me out here, Roy.”
“Is she just jealous?” Leave it to Roy to get right to the point.
“That’s what it looks like. But there’s been other things too. I don’t know Roy, but I think I need a break from her – if that makes any sense.”
“I think it makes perfect sense, Junior. If something’s not right, you need to get to the root of the problem before you go any further in the relationship.”
“Well,” John Gage began as he stood, taking his glass over to the sink and putting it in there before continuing, “I think I’m going to try and get some sleep now. You coming?”
Roy eyed at his partner closely before answering.
“You go ahead. I’ll be following you in a few minutes.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Roy sat, staring at his empty glass. **Well Junior, I hope you’re not over-analyzing this again. And, I hope you get it figured out soon.**
Roy’s thoughts wandered to all of the happy times Johnny had discussed with him. All of the fun that Johnny and Gloria had shared. Pushing away from the table and walking toward the sink, Roy had another thought. **Changing personality, huh? Well, let me help you find out, Johnny.**
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The wake up tones drew groans from all of the members of A-Shift. Johnny rubbed his eyes and looked toward the bunk across from him.
“Roy?”
Gage got up and made quick work of readying himself to head to the kitchen. He was certain that his friend had come back to bed shortly after he did. He wondered when – and why – Roy had gotten up again.
Roy was just finishing up a phone call when Johnny turned the corner.
“Thanks, Jo, I’ll try to get them there. Love you.”
Roy looked up to see John Gage standing a few feet from him, leaning against the wall, arms crossed.
“Roy? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, Johnny. I was just thinking…well, how ‘bout you bring Gloria past for a cookout.”
“You called Jo this early in the morning to ask her to cook hotdogs?”
“No. I mean, yes. I mean, you know Jo won’t serve hotdogs.” A smile passed between the men before Roy continued. “I just got to thinking about what you said. About Gloria changing. And, I thought, maybe if you and her came over, I could see…”
“If I’m over-reacting?” Johnny feigned a disgusted look. Hearing the other members of the crew heading toward the room, Johnny moved closer to Roy. “Thanks, Roy. What time should we be there?”
“Thanks?”
“Yeah, thanks. That was a real offer, wasn’t it? You don’t have to…”
“No. I mean, yes. Why is it always so confusing to talk to you, Junior?!” Laughing, Roy got one more quick statement in before the conversation was cut short – neither one wanting Chet to overhear their conversation. “4:00. Thanks for trusting us.”
“No, thank you!”
Roy was now concerned and confused. For his friend to be so willing to accept his and Jo’s help in figuring out the situation, it must be a bad one. **I hope you’re wrong, Johnny. I hope you’re wrong.**
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“YOU’RE WRONG!!”
Jenny began to cry.
“Gloria!”
“Shut up, John. You know the little brat is wrong…”
“GLORIA!!!”
Jenny cried even harder as she ran away from Johnny’s girlfriend towards her Daddy.
“She’s just a whiny, little brat who is WRONG!” Turning toward Roy’s daughter, Gloria literally screamed. “You’re an ugly little bratty girl who’s wrong.”
“Get the hell out of here, Gloria!”
“I came with you, asshole.”
John Gage had had enough. “Well you’re sure as hell going home without me. Joanne, call HER a cab. You – go wait by the curb. I’ll be out there to pay the driver when he comes. N-o-w g-e-t o-u-t o-f h-e-r-e!” Johnny couldn’t control his anger as he hissed between his teeth.
Turning toward Jenny, Johnny grabbed the crying little girl and picked her up into a tight hug. “Shhh. It’s okay, Jenny Bean. She’s just a mean, crazy woman. She doesn’t know anything.”
“But, she’s your girlfriend, Uncle Johnny.”
“No she’s not, sweetheart. She’s not anymore anyway.”
Jen started crying again. “She…<sniff> said I was…<sniff> ugly…”
“She’s ugly, Jenny. You aren’t. You are a beautiful little girl. There aren’t any little girls as pretty as you. Don’t I tell you that all the time?”
Jennifer DeSoto buried her head in Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny hugged the little girl even tighter. Giving her a kiss on the head, Johnny walked over toward Roy.
“I’m sorry, Roy…”
Roy put his hand up. “Not your fault, Junior. Just tell me to mind my own business next time though.”
Both men laughed as Johnny passed the little girl into Roy’s arms. “I’ll be back in a minute, sweetheart. I just need to make sure that Gloria leaves. Then you can help me make a hamburger. Okay?”
Jennifer looked up at her ‘uncle’, a smile returning to her face. “I love you, Uncle Johnny.”
John Gage leaned over and kissed the little girl on the cheek. “I love you, too, Jenny Bean.”
The minute that Johnny turned to head to the front yard, his tenderness turned to pure, raw anger. Stomping to the front of the house, John Gage had to control his anger and regain some sense of control before he spoke to Gloria. The pause lasted a second too long.
“I’m sorry, Johnny. I don’t know what got into me. You know…”
“I KNOW that you are history. I don’t know what has happened to you but what just happened – what you just did – will NOT be repeated in my life.”
“Johnny…”
“NO, Gloria! I don’t want to hear it.” Johnny leaned toward the front seat of the cab as it pulled to a stop. “And, I don’t want to hear from you ever again. Lose my address. Lose my phone number. In fact, get lost all together. Got that?”
As Johnny leaned into the cab to pay the driver, Gloria’s eyes flashed with rage. Waiting until Johnny stood up again, she started to speak but was cut off by the paramedic.
“I’d open the door for you but I only do that for ladies! Now, get the hell out of here.”
“You’ll regret this, John Gage. And, you’ll miss me too. You’ll see.”
Johnny shook his head and turned on his heels, heading toward the side of the house. Once out of sight, he paused long enough to peer around the corner of the house and make sure that Gloria had gotten into the cab. Seeing the cab pull away, he headed back to his friends.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sitting at the kitchen table, Joanne just shook her head as Johnny apologized for the fourth time in as many minutes.
“Johnny, it’s not your fault – none of us knew she could behave that way. I never thought she could be so cruel to a child. Just be grateful she’s out of your life now.”
“Yeah Johnny,” Roy added, “At least you saw her real side before things went too far.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gloria paced her livingroom floor, unable to let go of the anger that dwelled within her. How dare he! How dare he possibly take that sniveling little brat’s side over her – the woman of his dreams? She’d been there for him whenever he needed her – hell, she’d even put many of her own needs aside so he could have someone to talk to. Just like the other day when he called on such short notice. She canceled her manicure just to be with him – and what did he do? He took her bowling. Bowling! Maybe she’d be better off without him after all.
“Oh hell no! I didn’t spend all this time winning him over and making him love me just to have him end it all now!” Gloria yelled to no one. She took the glass of water in her hand and threw it, watching it as it shattered against the wall. Staring at it for a moment, her eyes began to twinkle as a smile grew on her lips.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Johnny drove home, unaware how long he’d held the death grip on his steering wheel until he pulled his hand away from it, stretching the fingers which now complained from poor circulation.
He slowly got out of the Rover and mindlessly began wandering the grounds as his thoughts trailed back to Gloria. He remembered the first time he’d seen her, walking gracefully down the canned food section of the supermarket, looking like an angel as she glided towards him and smiled. He took her out the very next night, and she was everything he could have dreamed of in a date. Gracious, witty, and very, very charming. As their dates progressed, so did their relationship. It was perfect. Too perfect, he thought as he picked up a piece of gravel and threw it.
Walking into the ranch house, he turned on a lamp and slouched into the sofa, leaning forward only long enough to throw his keys on the coffee table before slumping back. He rubbed his eyes with his hands, letting them move to his temples before dropping them back to his sides.
Had he been too harsh? The anger had flared so easily inside him. Adults weren’t supposed to yell at children like that – especially not Jenny – and what was up with that, anyway? One minute they were all playing with the kids and having fun – then the next minute Gloria was arguing with Jennifer – sounding more like a five year old rather than the adult that she was supposed to be. He thought he’d reacted poorly – but he wasn’t wrong and he knew that. But had he been too hard on Gloria?
When the phone rang, it took a few seconds to shake the thoughts of the afternoon away long enough to bring him to the here and now. Grabbing up the receiver, he answered the annoyance gruffly.
“Hello?”
“Johnny?”
“Gloria.” His tone was neutral; one she couldn’t read. But he hadn’t hung up, so that in itself was a good sign. Now she had to act quickly before he changed his mind.
“John – Johnny? I, I hurt myself … um, it was an accident. I was in the livingroom, and I was going to take myself to get some stitches, but I feel light-headed, and I, I didn’t know who else to call.”
“What happened? No – never mind, Gloria? Gloria!”
The silence that greeted his questions made him worry that much more. No longer thinking of the day’s previous events, Johnny hung up the phone and grabbed his keys in one felled swoop as he ran out the door.
She looked at the phone that lay beside her on the kitchen floor, smiling slightly through dazed thoughts as she heard him calling her name.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Knocking on her apartment door, Johnny was greeted with silence, and trying the door handle, he found it to be locked. Pulling his keys from his jeans pocket, he used the key she’d given him only two weeks ago and let himself in.
“Gloria?” Johnny called out, not seeing her right away as he entered the livingroom. Seeing the phone on its hook beside her sofa, he moved towards the kitchen, following the drips of blood he was now noticing on the floor. He was shocked at the sight of her.
Sitting in the corner, propped beside the bottom cupboards, she was half sprawled on the floor, the phone’s receiver dangling down beside her from the wall. The wall and cupboard were smeared with blood. Johnny grabbed up the phone and called the station, letting them know he needed a squad and an ambulance – knowing C Shift would get there quickly and notify dispatch for him. Hanging up the phone, he called her name, watching as her eyes fluttered at the sound of his voice and a slight sternal rub.
“Gloria honey, what happened? How’d you hurt yourself like this?” he asked, grabbing her right arm as he assessed the injury.
“I was so mad at myself Johnny, and, I, well, I threw my glass of water at the wall in the livingroom, hating myself for being so stupid and childish,” she stated with sluggishness. “ I, I went over to clean up the mess and I must have slipped in the water on the floor. The next thing I knew, I fell right into the glass and my arm was bleeding, and ..” she took a deep breath as her head swayed. “I’m so sorry Johnny … so sorry.”
“Shh,” he tried quieting her as he took a kitchen towel and used it for a make-shift tourniquet above her right elbow. “You lost a lot of blood, but you’re going to be just fine. You probably wouldn’t be feeling so bad right now if you’d eaten something over at Roy’s, ya know? I bet you haven’t eaten all day, have you?”
She smiled sweetly at him, her eyes half open as she shook her head ‘no’. “I wanted to look good for my man,” she whispered.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Johnny followed the ambulance over to Rampart, and waited patiently in the waiting room until Carol came out of treatment room 3, letting him know that after 18 stitches, it looked like Gloria was going to be just fine.
“She’s passed out on us twice though, and Dr. Morton’s going to keep her overnight. She’s being moved up to room 317. And Johnny, she’s been asking for you.”
“Thanks Carol. I’ll go up there in a minute.”
He sat there a little while longer, letting everything sink in from the days events. Looking at his watch, he stood and stretched. Visiting hours would be over in twenty minutes. His anger now dissipated, he simply wanted to see for himself that she was okay before going home and getting some sleep. He had to return to work in the morning and this day had already been too long.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tapping lightly on the door, Johnny walked in to find Gloria dozing. He walked over to the side of the bed, grateful that things hadn’t turned out worse than they had. No matter how mad she’d made him, he was fond of her and wanted no harm to come to her.
Her eyes opened at the sound of his movement, and she smiled at him. When he returned her smile, tears filled her eyes and she turned away from him, hiding her face.
“Hey, hey – what are you crying for? Are you in pain?” Johnny said quietly, pulling her left hand away from her face.
“I’m so ashamed of myself – for today, for the way I’ve been acting lately – I hate myself Johnny, and I’m embarrassed.”
“Let’s not get into that now, Gloria. Visiting hours are almost over and you need your rest and I need to get home and get ready for work in the morning. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
Her tears flowed down her face as she looked up at him for a moment before turning away again. “I never wanted you to hate me, Johnny.”
His sigh was deep. “I don’t hate you. It’s just that I don’t know you like I thought I did. You’ve got to admit, today was a real eye-opener.”
“I’ll make it up to you
– I swear I will if you give me a chance.”
“I don’t know, Gloria. And besides, the ones you really need to be apologizing
to is Jennifer and her family.”
“I know – and I will, I promise you that.”
Dr. Morton walked in, smiling at his patient as he walked over to the right side of her bed, checking the bandages he’d just applied.
“Hi John, how’s the patient doing?”
“I think she’ll be fine,” Johnny stated, looking from the doctor to Gloria, then back at Morton again.
Satisfied with the bandages and his patient’s alertness, Dr. Morton nodded his agreement. “Time for you to get some rest, Miss Hall.”
“Guess that’s my cue to leave,” Johnny said, grateful for the exit.
“Will you call me, Johnny?” Gloria asked quickly.
“Uh, yeah, okay. I’ll give you a call and see how you’re doing, okay?” he half asked, half stated as he made a hasty retreat.
**************************************************
As Roy headed into the locker room, he found Johnny already dressed and ready for work, sitting in front of his locker as he stared off into space.
“Hey partner – you’re here early. Eager to get started?”
Johnny smiled at his friend. “Eager for the distraction is more like it.”
“What’s going on? You okay?” Roy asked as he stripped out of his civilian clothes, looking worriedly at his partner.
“Oh yeah, I’m fine,” Johnny began, standing as he talked. “But I ended up taking Gloria to the emergency room last night.”
“She okay?” Roy asked, looking at Johnny as he buttoned his uniform shirt.
“Yeah. She fell and cut her hand and wrist real bad, but she’s okay now.” He looked at everyone else as the rest of the crew began filtering in. “We’ll talk about it later, okay?”
Roy nodded as they headed out into the bay. This was one story he wanted to hear.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As the day progressed, so did the number of runs Station 51 was called out on. The rescue squad was constantly in service, making it hard for the younger paramedic to discuss last night’s events. The entire crew finally was able to sit long enough to enjoy their dinner, but soon after, the engine was called out to the scene of a trash fire. After clearing the plates and washing the dishes, the paramedics finally managed to sit down and talk, and Johnny told Roy what had happened.
“So are you going to call her?” Roy asked, his tone not judgmental as he awaited his friend’s reply.
“That’s just it Roy – I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to just ignore her – I mean, I want to know she’s okay, but at the same time, even if she apologizes to you and Jen, I don’t know if **I** can forgive her. Could you?”
Roy looked thoughtfully before answering. “I can’t answer that, Johnny. It’s not me, it’s you. And after yesterday, if I had to give an opinion of her from what I’ve seen of her, well … look, maybe she just wasn’t feeling well?”
John Gage looked at his partner with a grin. Only Roy could look for another side to the situation – only Roy could look for an answer of what to him was the unexplainable.
“Maybe,” John began, “But …”
When the tones sounded, both men stood up from the table, leaving their cups and conversation behind.
Called out to join their engine company at the scene of their last call, Roy and John hurriedly got into the squad, both wondering why they were needed at a trash fire.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gloria looked around the empty apartment, wondering what to do next. She’d cleaned up the mess from the night before, taking numerous naps thanks to the pain pills she’d been given at the hospital, and waited impatiently for the phone to ring. But it didn’t.
Oh sure, there were a few calls from her friends at work, wanting to know how she was and if she needed anything, but the one thing she needed most wasn’t happening, and that was a call from Johnny.
She hoped that it was because he was busy; hoped he wasn’t hurt; and most of all, hoped he wasn’t just avoiding her.
Feeling invigorated from her awkward one-handed shower, she dressed herself simply and took another pill for the pain her activities had caused.
Finding herself hungry and upset because Johnny hadn’t called, she decided to go out for some fast food, hoping he would call. Maybe if he called and got no answer, he’d be worried. Maybe he’d leave the station … come over to see for himself that she was all right … maybe he’d realize how much he loved her when his concern brought him back to her.
Smiling to herself, Gloria got into the little green car, her imagination going wild at the thoughts of Johnny possibly waiting for her upon her return. But her smile suddenly fell when she sat in the vehicle.
How was she going to drive a stick-shift with her hand all bandaged and stiff? Roughly getting the car in neutral, she started it, feeling her way with the gear shift and injured hand as she held the clutch in with her left foot. “Only one way to find out,” she stated to no one. Putting the car into reverse, she pushed down the emergency brake and let off of the clutch.
Damn it hurt, but she was managing. Now, as her stomach grumbled, she pondered where to go to find herself a decent meal. At least the dinner rush was already over. She could get something quickly and head back home.
When the siren approached from behind, she moved the car over, getting out of the way as red lights flashed, lighting up the inside of her car. When the fire truck passed, her eyes grew wide, seeing the number 51 on the truck. She looked behind her in the rear view mirror, hoping to see the squad following, but quickly grew disappointed when she realized it wasn’t. Pulling back out onto the road, she painfully shifted gears quickly, following the fire truck as her curiosity grew.
The county vehicle stopped only a few blocks ahead of her and she could see a few people standing around a dumpster, watching as a fire within it burned brightly. As the engine pulled to a stop, she passed by, knowing the squad wouldn’t be coming. Driving to the next intersection, she turned, relinquishing herself to finding some dinner.
Driving past several restaurants and fast food places, she stopped at none, her meal forgotten as thoughts of Johnny coming to her rescue the night before filled her warmly. He was so caring – so sweet. His voice was calm and full of concern and it was all for her – only her. Oh how she longed for his attentions. To have him caring for her … she needed that. She needed him to feel that way for her. If she were hurt seriously, he’d have to realize his love for her and ignore her shortfalls.
The next thing she knew, she had driven around a few more blocks and was coming up to where the engine had stopped. She didn’t know how long she’d been driving but she knew her hand ached from its use. Looking at the scene of the fire, she saw someone pulling a hose back towards the engine and noticed the flames from before were now gone. Looking just a little further, she noticed an area of bushes and trees yet untouched by the growing civilization surrounding it.
She smiled.
Grinning at her own cleverness, she mowed the car into the brush, making sure to swerve the car around in case anyone was watching. She braced herself as best she could, covering her face with her left arm as the car pushed easily through bushes and weeds, stopping only when it slammed into a tree. She was unconscious almost instantly, but not before screaming, hoping she’d be heard.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Captain Stanley had just returned the HT into his jacket pocket, making the engine available after putting out the dumpster fire. He knew someone had set it on purpose – the tell-tale smell of gasoline still lingered where none should be. But at least it had been contained before it spread to the apartment building it stood beside.
Opening the door of the fire truck, he stopped just short of getting into the engine when he heard the screeching tires. Looking up, he saw the small green car, its driver looking as if they couldn’t stop it from heading into the brush. He watched in horror as it plowed into the shrubs.
The scream he heard ripped into him, his inner alarm set off from the sound of someone’s pain.
Not even bothering with the HT, he grabbed the mic from inside the engine’s cab, calling for a squad, ambulance, and tow truck.
Looking toward the shrubbery that entombed the car, Cap headed across the street. “Chet, Marco – move!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gloria briefly opened her eyes without thinking. **No, dammit, keep ‘em closed.** She struggled to control her urge to scream. She hurt. But overwhelming her own hurt was her desire TO hurt. **C’mon, John Gage. Are you coming to my rescue?**
“Chet, cut the bushes back on the driver’s side. We need to have free access to the victim by the time Johnny and Roy get here.”
**YES!**
“Marco, can you get in the car on that side?”
“I’m trying, Cap. The door is stuck. The window is cracked so badly I can’t see in.”
“Same here, Pal. All I can really see is…is the blood on the windshield.” Turning his attention back to the window, he was able to make out the outline of a body. It was still impossible to determine if it was a male or female – or if there was anyone else in the vehicle.
“Hello? You in there. This is the LA County Fire Department - can you hear me?” After getting no response, the crew heard the muffled “dammit” that escaped the captain’s lips.
Gloria sat still, straining to hear what was going on around her. A brief smile passed her lips before falling back into motionless silence.
“What’ve we got, Cap?”
“Don’t know how many victims are in the car, John. There’s no response at all.”
Turning toward Chet, Johnny didn’t even get the question out before the fireman anticipated the paramedic’s question. “Just another minute. It’s almost open.”
With a grunt and another push on the crowbar, the door popped open. At the same time, Marco got the passenger door open.
Roy slid in the car around Marco while Chet stepped out of the way for Johnny.
“Gloria?” The same name – same question could be heard from both paramedics.
Glancing at each other in a moment of disbelief, the paramedics returned to their work.
“Gloria? Can you here me, honey?”
Roy paused again to look at his partner. **Honey?** Johnny didn’t notice the slight shake of his partner’s head.
“I’ll get the vitals, Junior. Get on the horn to Rampart.”
“Gloria?” Looking across Gloria’s chest, his eyes met Roy’s. “She’s not responding, Roy.”
“I know, Johnny. She’s breathing well though. Get on the horn to Rampart. Okay?”
Johnny paused a moment too long.
“Cap – get Rampart.”
“No, I got it, Roy.” Backing out of the car, Johnny bent down to pick up the bio-phone. Next to the orange box, he saw the boots. He knew Cap was standing above him, looking at him.
“John?”
“I’ve got it, Cap.” Johnny made quick work of getting in touch with Rampart. Roy relayed the vitals to Johnny who, in turn, relayed the information to Dr. Brackett.
While Johnny was getting the doctor’s instructions, Cap made his way over to Roy’s side of the car. The look on Cap’s face gave voice to the unspoken question.
“His most recent ex.” Roy whispered.
Roy read his boss’ face – and the nod of his head – again.
“Yeah, Cap. Good idea.”
Both men moved to Johnny’s side of the car. “Junior, I’ll take care of the IV’s. Go to the other side and see if you can get her to come around.”
Johnny didn’t even notice he’d been removed from the primary caregiver position. Nor did he particularly care at that point. As Johnny moved to the passenger side, Gloria briefly smiled.
“Gloria? Can you hear me? I need you to come around now…okay?”
Gloria was beaming on the inside. She controlled her emotions and began to stir.
“Wha…”
“It’s okay, I’m here with you.”
“Johnny?”
“Yeah. Don’t move your head. You’ve been in an accident.”
“Hungry.” Gloria had planned this whole scene and it couldn’t be going any better.
“What? I can’t give you anything right now. You know I would if I could, don’t you?”
Roy looked at his partner not believing the conversation that was taking place. Couldn’t believe the tenderness in his voice. Couldn’t believe that his partner seemed to have forgotten the events of the day before.
“Johnny, we’re ready to go. Chet, get the gurney over here, let’s get her loaded.”
“Don’t leave me, John.” Gloria began to cry.
“Shhh. I won’t.”
Roy’s head shot up. “Johnny…” The pathetic look on Johnny’s face stopped Roy short.
Cap looked from one paramedic to the other. “Marco, take in the squad. Johnny, you can go in with Roy and the victim.”
Roy frowned.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The ride started off quietly. Roy monitored Gloria’s vitals while Johnny sat toward her head, holding her hand.
Gloria’s head was spinning. But, not from the accident.
“Hungry.”
“What, Gloria?”
“Hungry. I was hungry.”
Johnny looked into the woman’s eyes trying to make sense of what she was saying. Roy was wishing that Johnny was anywhere but in the back of this ambulance.
Getting no comments, Gloria continued. “I wanted something to eat. I probably shouldn’t have tried to drive with my hand like this. But, I was hungry…”
“I should have thought of that.” Johnny’s tone was apologetic, half talking to himself, half to her.
**BINGO!** Gloria had gotten what she wanted…or at least part of it. Looking away from Johnny, she mustered her tears again.
“Well, I hoped…or I thought…well, you didn’t call. And…”
“I’m sorry, Gloria. I should have called. I said I would. I didn’t even think…we’ve been on runs all day.” He rubbed his face with his hand. “I’m so sorry.”
Roy sat dumbfounded. He couldn’t wait to get out of the ambulance and have a discussion with his friend. Oh, how he wanted to have it right here, right now. But, his professionalism kept him from saying anything in front of ‘the victim’.
Arriving at Rampart, Johnny followed Gloria into the treatment room while Roy gathered their gear from the ambulance and placed it in the squad. Marco cut the engine off and got out and helped.
“How’s she doing, Roy?”
“I think she’ll be okay. Johnny’s in there now with her.”
“He seemed pretty upset, didn’t he?”
“Yeah Marco, he did.”
Both men watched as the fire engine pulled round, Mike being careful not to block any of the ways in for the ambulances that would surely arrive.
Roy watched it pull in, his thoughts lost for a moment before a slap on the back from Marco brought him out of them. “You need me to help you with anything?”
Roy smiled at his friend. “No, but thanks for asking.”
Marco smiled back as he handed the keys to the squad to Roy. “See you back at the station.”
Roy stood there for a moment, watching as the fireman joined his crew in the truck. He heard Captain Stanley making the engine available over the HT, still watching as it pulled out from Rampart’s parking lot.
Turning around, he walked in through the emergency room doors, ready to find his partner. He’d wait until they were alone before talking to his friend, but he was going to talk to him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“I can’t believe you’re saying that, Roy. I mean, I knew she had a stick shift. I knew – or I should have thought about the fact – that she wouldn’t be able to drive. I didn’t think to see if she had any food.”
“Bet her kitchen is full.”
“Roy! I know that she was awful to Jennifer, but…”
“And now she’s being awful to you. Don’t you see? To me, it looked like she couldn’t wait to make you feel guilty. All I’m saying is that this is not your fault, Junior. Don’t let her make you think anything else.”
Johnny was relieved when the station appeared before them. He didn’t want to continue this conversation. Hell, he hadn’t wanted to have it at all. He was confused. He didn’t need anyone else adding to that fact.
The rest of the guys were sitting around the kitchen table when the paramedics walked in.
“How is she, Roy?”
“Okay, Cap. They’ll keep her the night. Only ‘cause Dr. Brackett was confused as to why she was out so long. She got quite a bump on the head but that couldn’t explain why she was out as long as she…appeared to be.”
Everyone noticed the looks that were exchanged between Johnny and Roy at Roy’s last statement.
“She has a mild concussion and a bruised shoulder. She’s also got a few bruised ribs and got six stitches where her head split open when it hit the windshield,” Johnny answered defensively.
Roy quickly felt a pang of guilt, realizing suddenly that he’d never asked the extent of her injuries.
“Yeah, things aren’t what they always appear to be, I guess,” Chet said softly.
Chet was now the focus of everyone’s attention.
“What the hell does that mean, Chet?” Johnny was angry. He’d take it from Roy. After all, Roy was his best friend. But damned if he’d take grief from Chet about this.
“Calm down, Gage. Sheesh. I was just thinking about the fire. Everyone assumed the garbage had accidentally caught on fire. I mean, what kind of asshole pours gasoline into a dumpster then sets it on fire? People – WE – could get hurt by such a dumbass stunt.”
Johnny and Roy traded looks again. Johnny turned on his heels, left the room, and went to lay on his bunk. He had to think this out. Alone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The men were given a reprieve of sorts by having a peaceful night after such a long day. Sleep came easily to them – well, almost all of them.
Johnny had gotten up once, and Roy watched him head out through the bay. He was pretty sure he heard Johnny talking to someone on the phone. **Probably calling the hospital, checking on Gloria.**
After the younger paramedic returned to his bunk, he seemed to sleep well. At least that’s how it looked to Roy. Although the senior paramedic dozed now and then, he couldn’t help but worry about his friend, his thoughts keeping him from sleeping as his mind wondered if things were as clear as they seemed.
He couldn’t pin-point it, but something just wasn’t right about all this.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Johnny and Roy talked for a few minutes before they left the station, both ready for the weekend off they had earned. Neither man wanted to leave without both knowing the other wasn’t mad.
They stood out in the back lot beside their cars, fumbling for words. Roy didn’t have to ask what plans Johnny had for the morning – he knew his friend would be heading over to Rampart. Broaching the subject would be tricky. But he had to ask.
“You going over to Rampart?” There. He’d asked. Point blank. To the point.
“Yeah. If Brackett let’s her out I want to be there, ya know?”
“Sure, I know. You want me to come along?”
Johnny smiled. His friend was willing to go with him, be there for him, even if he didn’t agree with the way he felt. “Nah, it’ll be all right. Don’t worry, okay? I know what I’m doing. I thought about it a lot last night, and I know where you’re coming from. I won’t let my guilt keep me from thinking straight, you know?”
Roy smiled earnestly at his friend. **He’s got such a big heart – how can he control it?** “Okay.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gloria let the young nursing student walk her around. It was routine to get the patient up and moving around before discharging, especially after such jarring injuries, just to be sure. Dr. Brackett had told her she would be released if she had no complications today, and now Dr. Early had checked on her, agreeing with her other doctor’s assessment.
It hurt to move around, but what hurt worse was the thought that Johnny might not come by. He hadn’t called her yet, and she knew he should be off shift by now. She didn’t want to call her friend Sherry from work yet again to pick her up from the hospital – God, she was a pain in the ass – wanting to help her, wanting to stay with her. All Gloria wanted was Johnny. Besides, after the way she’d treated Sherry, would she even want to come get her again?
“Miss Hall, are you okay?”
The nurse had apparently been speaking to her, but Gloria was lost in thought.
“Miss Hall, are you feeling dizzy?”
Gloria looked at the nurse and out of the corner of her eye caught sight of Johnny walking down the hall towards them from behind her.
“I, I just feel real woozy all of a sudden,” she feigned, making sure to sway towards the wall, grabbing her head as if suddenly stricken.
“Whoa there, Gloria? Gloria!” Johnny’s stride had quickened when he saw Gloria with the nurse outside of her room, but soon it turned into a steady run when he saw her fall back towards the wall. The actions had also been seen by Dr. Early, who had been talking to a nurse down the hall and had heard the nurse’s concerned tone towards his patient.
Johnny caught her from the left as the nurse caught her from the right, both keeping the patient from hitting the floor with a thud.
**God how perfectly timed was that?** Gloria thought with glee.
“Let’s get her back in her room,” Dr. Early spoke quickly, his alarm evident as his worry grew. “Sheila, I want a full set of vitals as soon as she’s settled.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Well Miss Hall, I’m glad to see a little more color in your face,” Dr. Early spoke, looking over the new set of vitals the nurse had just gotten for him. “Were you in any pain when you got dizzy?” he asked, checking her pupils.
“No, no, I just, I don’t know, I guess I just lost my footing.”
“No you didn’t,” Johnny interjected. “I was coming down the hall when it happened, Doc. She wasn’t walking at the time.”
Gloria shot him a look that was not happy, playing her role to perfection.
“She was incoherent for a moment, Doctor, and when I questioned her about it she lost her balance – I thought she was going out on me,” the nurse stated.
“Well, I see no other recourse than to keep you here at least another day or two and run a few more tests – we need to find out what’s wrong - better to be safe than sorry.”
“No!” Gloria practically screamed. No way was she going to be cooped up in this damned hospital while Johnny had the weekend off. This, after all, was supposed to be the weekend he took her camping, before that nasty little brat had ruined things for her.
“Miss Hall,” Dr. Early began, his voice calm and gentle, “You live alone, is that right?”
“Yes, but what’s that got to …”
“Just hear me out for a moment. What if you have another incident like the one out in the hallway? If there’s no one around to help you, you could possibly fall and hurt yourself or something worse. I highly recommend you stay at least another night so we can be sure you’ll be all right. Just let me run some more tests.”
Gloria shook her head no. “You know doctor, I’ve never stayed a minute in any hospital before until now, and suddenly I’ve found myself in here twice in one week. And I don’t like it. I’d rather take my chances at home. I’ll sign any release papers you have.”
The good doctor frowned. “It really is against my better judgement that you leave, but I can’t stop you. Do you have anyone you can call? Perhaps a neighbor that can check up on you now and then?”
“No, not really. My friends from work are out of town for a company picnic,” she lied easily, “and my neighbors are pretty much weekend runners, you know, working all week and taking off each weekend. But I’ll be fine. I promise to rest and take it easy.”
“I’ll make sure she does just that, Dr. Early,” Johnny said, surprising himself as much as Gloria.
Inside, Gloria was screaming with glee. Outside, she shot him a dirty look. “I don’t need a babysitter, John Gage.”
“Who said I was your babysitter?” Johnny defended himself, his hand to his chest. “I just thought you’d like to spend some time with me since I’m off this weekend. Maybe we won’t go camping like we’d planned, but I’m sure we can watch tv or something.”
Gloria could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She barely suppressed the joy that flooded her with a look of surprise at his words. “Really?” she asked quietly, sounding almost scared to hear his reply.
“I’d rather you stay in the hospital. But if you won’t do that, someone’s got to look out for you.”
“Thank you, Johnny.” Gloria said, using her best innocent tone.
“Listen, why don’t you get dressed and ready. I’m going to go down the hall and give Roy a call and tell him I won’t make it for dinner tonight. You gonna be okay?”
Gloria smiled. “I am now.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
John Gage picked up the phone for the third time. **Just dial the number. You’re an adult for God’s sake. It’s your decision. It’s none of his business. Dial the damn number!**
“Hello?”
The silence on the line almost caused Roy to hang up. “Hello?”
“Roy, it’s Johnny. Listen…”
“Let me guess.” Roy couldn’t hide his frustration as he interrupted his friend. “You can’t make it to dinner.”
“Now, Roy…”
“If that’s what you want to do...”
“It’s what I need to do, Roy. You don’t even know what’s going on.” The sound of Johnny slapping the wall by the phone could be heard over the line.
“Sure, I do, John.” Roy couldn’t see it, but he hoped his friend flinched. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d called Johnny ‘John’ let alone said the man’s name with such an edge to his voice. His mind was spinning as he tried to figure out a way to make Johnny realize what was happening. “You and Gloria…”
“That’s right, Roy. Me and Gloria. I’m taking her home. She needs help and I’m not going to walk out on her right now. I’m going to see that she gets settled for the night before I head home. That means that I can’t make it for dinner. I’m…oh, just forget it.” Johnny was seething. **Don’t you judge me for this, Roy. Don’t you think I’m already doing that myself?!**
Roy was angry. **What are you thinking, Johnny?! This is the woman who had Jen in tears and you in a rage. Don’t get involved with her again. Don’t do it, Johnny. Please, don’t do it.** “Fine, I’ll be sure to tell Jennifer that she’s not going to see her ‘uncle’ tonight because he’s spending the evening with his ‘lady’. In fact, I have a better idea. You can tell her yourself.” **Sorry, partner, but maybe this will make you think about what you’re doing.**
“WHAT? No, Roy, damnit, don’t you dare … Uh, hi, Jenny Bean.” Johnny’s face showed all the rage that his voice couldn’t. “I’m sorry, princess, I can’t make it tonight.” Johnny could hear the disappointment in the little girl’s voice.
“Puhleeeze, Uncle Johnny? I wanted to sit next to you. I made your favorite cookies and everything.” The little girl sure knew how to lay on the guilt.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. You know I would be there if I could. I have to take care of a sick friend. You understand that, don’t you, Jen?” Johnny now rested against the wall, eyes closed, one hand rubbing his furrowed brow. He listened to the little girl for a few more seconds. “Okay, Jenny Bean, I’m sorry but I’ll make it up to you. I love you. Put your daddy back on, okay?”
Johnny turned and slapped the wall again as he waited for Roy to take the phone.
“Did you tell her why?” Roy’s question cut through John Gage and he let out a defeated exhale.
“I told her I needed to take care of a sick friend.”
“Did you tell her who your sick friend is?” Roy hoped he wasn’t pushing too hard.
“No, Roy. I didn’t. I mean…it’s not like…no, I didn’t” The defeat was evident in his voice.
“That should tell you something, shouldn’t it, John?”
There it was again. John. The pause seemed to last an eternity.
Roy attributed it to the frustration. He just hoped that Johnny would realize that one day, too. Because, what slipped out of Roy’s mouth next took even him by surprise. "Sorry, John, I hope I - or my little whiny brat – didn’t spoil your evening. Thanks for calling.” Roy hung up the phone. And, he also hung his head.
Johnny just stared at the receiver in his hand. After the initial shock wore off, Johnny slammed the phone down so hard he almost broke it. Leaning against the wall, Johnny rested his head on his forearm. **How did this happen? What the hell am I doing?**
A few yards behind him, Gloria sat beaming in her wheelchair. A witness to most of the conversation, she wanted to get up and dance with joy. While she couldn’t hear most of the conversation, it was obvious that Roy – and his family – would be out of the picture even if only for the weekend. **That’s all I need. Just one weekend to get Johnny back. For good.**
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Taking Gloria to her apartment, Johnny waited patiently as she packed a few things to take over to his place. He figured it was best that she stay with him, and that way he could still take care of things around the ranch while looking out for her. At first she protested having to leave her home, but somehow, Johnny was able to talk her into it, explaining the things he needed to catch up on.
He had been very quiet during the ride over, but that was fine with her, figuring he was still fuming over the conversation he’d had with Roy.
As Gloria moved from her bedroom to the bathroom, gathering all her necessities, Johnny wandered into the kitchen. He couldn’t help but open a few cabinets. **Bet her kitchen is full.** he heard Roys’ voice in his mind. There were a few odds and ends, but nothing to put together for a meal. **Well, you were wrong about that, Roy, ol’ buddy.**
He leaned against the cupboards as the memories of her lying against them haunted him. He remembered the blood all over, and wondered how difficult of a time she’d had cleaning all the mess, especially with only one good hand. Guilt plagued him when he figured she’d probably cleaned it up just before going out to get some dinner the other night. The night she totaled her car. The night she could have died.
“Johnny?” she asked, bringing him back to the here and now. “I’m ready.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Roy sat in his favorite chair, watching his children play through the window outside. He had slept through most of the day and when he got up, Joanne had dinner ready for him. Now as she washed up the dishes, his thoughts wandered back to his conversation this morning.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Joanne asked, knowing exactly what they were.
“Johnny.” He stated simply.
Joanne sat on the arm of the chair, her right hand rubbing Roy’s shoulder.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on him earlier. Maybe I should just sit back and wait – you know as well as I do that once Johnny’s mind is made up …”
“I also know that Johnny is a sucker when it comes to seeing someone in pain.”
“You mean like Gloria.” Roy stood suddenly, almost knocking Joanne off balance where she perched. “First she accidentally cuts herself the same day Johnny breaks up with her,” he said excitedly, letting his mind piece things together. “Then she just happens to wreck her car at the same spot engine 51 is putting out a fire – on the day he was supposed to call her and didn’t – knowing that there was a pretty darned good chance that he and I would be the ones called.”
“Roy, to imply that she’s hurting herself just to keep Johnny around is, well, it sounds a little far-fetched, don’t you think?”
Roy studied his wife for a moment. “I don’t know, Jo, I just don’t know. Isn’t that what you were talking about?”
“No, honey,” she said as she stood, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I was talking about you. If Johnny could see the pain you’re in right now, you two would work things out. You two need to talk – get things out in the open. Maybe Gloria isn’t so bad – I know people without kids don’t have the patience with them that we parents do. And …”
“You’re not defending her after she treated Jennifer like that, are you?” he asked, his looking incredulous.
“All I’m saying is that there might be reasons behind her behavior – that’s all. And you need to talk to Johnny.” She paused for a moment and picked up his half empty tea glass from the end table. “Why don’t you go over there now?”
“He probably isn’t home. He did cancel our dinner plans this evening to be with her.”
“Dinner time’s over with now. And even if he’s not home when you get there, I’m sure he will be soon enough.”
Roy looked lovingly at his wife and kissed her forehead. “Thanks. I love you.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Johnny sat on the side of the bed, watching Gloria as she slept. The day had been long – well, at least for someone who’d just gotten out of the hospital, anyway. She looked almost angelic as she slept peacefully, the pain pills taking their effect easily.
He heard a car pulling into the driveway, but couldn’t see who it was from the guest bedroom window. Quietly getting up, he left, pulling the door to as he walked quickly down the stairs. Looking out through the screen door, he saw Roy walking towards him.
“Roy.”
“Johnny. Look – I’m so sorry about this morning – I was way out of line and, well, I just wanted you to know that I was wrong.”
Johnny waved his friend to sit down in one of the chairs on the porch, then went wordlessly inside. When he returned, he had two beers in his hand.
“She’s upstairs sleeping right now,” Johnny stated, handed his partner one of the beers.
“She’s here?” Roy asked, trying to keep his emotions in check.
“Yeah. Dr. Early wanted her to stay at least another night, but she refused because she hates hospitals. Out of the clear blue, I volunteered myself to look out for her.”
“And you brought her back here so you could take care of things.”
“Yep.” The pause was long before Johnny spoke again. “You think I’m going about this all wrong, don’t you?” he half asked, half stated.
“I really can’t say.”
“Yeah, yeah you can Roy. In fact, I need you to. Truth is, I’m a bit confused right now.”
“I have one question for you first – before I start talking. Do you love her, Johnny?”
Johnny looked around the grounds of his ranch, noting the different shades as the sun set in the horizon before looking back at Roy. He sighed deeply. “No.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gloria laid in the bed, not quite asleep, but comfortably numb thanks to the drugs they’d prescribed at the hospital. She heard his footsteps as Johnny came in to check on her, but kept her eyes closed, letting him believe she was sleeping.
She felt his weight as he sat on the edge of the bed, then felt his hand as he touched her forehead – the paramedic in him making sure her temperature wasn’t up. He was so caring; so gentle.
She realized at that very moment that all her efforts to make him fall in love with her were because she had already fallen in love with him. At first, he was merely a conquest. Her friends were envious of her with the good looking man at her side. He was always attentive to her needs and wants. And now she really had fallen in love with him. She should have realized it a few weeks ago when her jealousy flared up at that waitress at the restaurant. Or last week at the supermarket when that young clerk had smiled at Johnny and she’d totally lost it. And most of all, she should have known the other day, when she began arguing with Roy DeSoto’s daughter over who was really Johnny’s princess.
She heard the car pulling in down Johnny’s gravel driveway, and kept her eyes closed as Johnny stood, leaving her to tend to whoever had invited themselves over. Waiting a few minutes, she got up carefully, trying not to stir the pain from her injuries as she moved soundlessly into the hallway.
Stopping at the top of the stairs, she watched as Johnny went outside, carrying two beers out onto the porch. Very slowly, she made her way down, stopping just behind the front door; listening.
“I have one question for you first – before I start talking. Do you love her, Johnny?” she heard Roy ask.
Johnny’s silence stunned her at first, wanting him to reply quickly with the answer she knew she’d hear. Instead, she heard his deep sigh. “No.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Roy looked at Johnny, admiring the honesty his friend always gave him. He was proud that his friend could be honest with himself as well.
Each man stared at one another for a moment. Until they heard the crash inside, followed by the shrill scream of Gloria’s raw anger.
“What the hell?” Johnny said as he and Roy leapt from their chairs, beer bottles toppling as beer flowed freely on the deck.
Both men ran inside as Gloria cried out in anguish again.
“How could you? I thought, no - I KNOW you love me John Gage!” she screamed, thrashing out her bandaged arm as she backed herself towards the kitchen, knocking over a lamp in her wake. Once the surprise of another lamps’ falling was over, she turned, running into the kitchen. Johnny and Roy quickly followed.
Gloria was cornered, looking like a deer caught by her hunters as the two men rushed in behind her.
“Stay back!” she yelled, tears streaming down her face.
“Come on, Gloria,” Johnny spoke softly, trying to calm her. “You need to calm down, okay honey?”
“Don’t you ‘honey’ me! You, you hypocrite! I thought you loved me,” she whimpered.
“Gloria?” Roy began, taking a step closer to the near-hysterical woman. “You’re going to hurt yourself worse if you don’t calm down. It’s okay – you two just need to sit down and talk things out, okay?”
“Why are you even speaking to me? I know you despise me. You just stay away from me, Roy!” she said evenly as she reached behind her, grabbing the biggest knife from the cutlery set that stood on the counter.
“Gloria!” Johnny yelled, shocked at her latest move. Roy turned to him, using his eyes to tell Johnny not to yell, but stay calm.
“I don’t despise you, Gloria,” Roy said, his tone soothing as he allowed himself another step closer to this woman who was obviously very unstable. “We haven’t even really gotten a chance to know one another yet. Johnny here says you’re a really nice young lady.”
Gloria looked at him, wishing what he said were true. But she knew it wasn’t. She’d just heard for herself that the man she loved didn’t love her.
She looked down from the caring eyes that Roy set on her to the knife she held in her left hand. She twirled it carefully in her grasp, stopping it only when it was pointed at her chest.
“Gloria, please!” Johnny called, scared of what her thoughts were leading to. “Please, give me the knife. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“You could care less,” she answered sharply, “unless you felt guilty about it. That’s the only way to get your attention, just get hurt, and good old Johnny will come to your rescue,” she said sarcastically.
“What are saying, Gloria?” Johnny asked, watching as his partner slipped closer to her, her own anger and pain making her oblivious to his actions.
“I’m saying that you care so much about doing your job that the only way to get you to pay attention to a woman is if she hurts herself! If I hadn’t done what I’d done, we wouldn’t be together right now!”
So caught up in the realization that she’d admitted harming herself to get Johnnys’ attention, Gloria didn’t see Roy advancing on her until he was there. He grabbed swiftly at the knife, but Gloria jerked around, suddenly facing the man at her side. Swiping out angrily, the knife sliced into his neck, slicing open the fragile skin with ease.
Blood oozed instantly from Roy’s jugular, nicked as her weapon reached its’ aim.
All three people in the kitchen were stunned, albeit briefly. Roy grabbed at his neck as Gloria ran towards the kitchen door, the color draining from her face as quickly as it did Roys.
Johnny watched the actions as if in slow motion; his mind reeling at the incomprehensible deed done.
He watched as Gloria took off out of the back door, but didn’t care. Roy was bleeding. And badly.
Shifting his stunned gaze from Gloria to Roy, Johnny’s heart fell even lower. Roy’s eyes tore into Johnny’s soul. In a flash, Johnny saw pain, hurt, confusion, and love. But at no time did he see anger. That fact was something he couldn’t comprehend.
“Roy, hold on, man. Let me get help.” Johnny grabbed the phone on his way to Roy’s side. He called for help as he grasped Roy’s neck, stemming the blood flow.
Johnny made quick work of talking with LA dispatch. He absently dropped the phone to the floor as he shifted his position, sitting on the floor leaning against the kitchen cabinets, Johnny shifted Roy so that he was almost in his lap. The position offered the best way to keep the pressure on Roy’s neck. And, fortunately – while at the same time unfortunately – it also ensured direct eye contact between the two friends.
“Roy, God Roy, I am so sorry. So very, very sorry. You hang in there. You’re going to be okay. I’m so…”
“J – Johnny”, Roy’s voice was weak and his eyes were frantic.
“Shhh. Just stay quiet, Roy. You’ll…”
“No…no, Johnny…please…” Roy’s voice trailed off but his gaze remained fixed on the face of his friend.
“What? Please what, Roy? Where the hell is the squad?” Johnny broke the gaze but quickly returned to face his friend.
“Please…tell Joanne…”
“No, you tell her. You…”
“Johnny, please!” John Gage was surprised at the sudden strength in Roy’s voice. “Johnny, tell her I love her…and the kids…make sure they always know how much I love them…”
“Roy…where the hell is the squad?…you hang on. Do you hear me? You know you can…”
“Neck…” Roy’s voice was back to being weak. And his eyes were glazing over. Shock was beginning to set in on the paramedic.
“Yeah, so. Remember that little boy? The one when we were coming back from fishing? You held his neck and he was hurt worse than you, partner.” Johnny was glad to see a slight smile cross Roy’s face even it was only for a brief second. “He is just fine now. And you will be too.”
Roy was starting to drift off when he barely heard Johnny’s whisper. “But, you’ll never forgive me. I’ll never forgive me. I wish she had knifed me. It should be me, not you, Roy. This is my fault.”
Roy opened his eyes to see his friend looking at the door. It can’t end this way. I can’t leave him blaming himself. That Gage guilt will destroy him. And I need to know that he will be there for Jo and the kids.
“Junior.” His voice was barely a whisper. “Look at me, Junior.”
Johnny turned to look at the man in his arms. “Where the hell is the squad? I need help here!”
“Johnny…not your fault…”
“Yes it is…”
“NO! No. Nothing to forgive. Just be there for Jo…for Jo and the kids.”
Johnny was about to assure Roy that if it ever did come to that, he would take care of the kids when the door flew open. In his mind, he knew Gloria had returned. His reaction was so fast, so intense, that he never even turned to look at the person entering the house. Johnny moved with lightening speed, swiveling from beneath Roy to a position over him. Maintaining the pressure on his friend’s neck, Johnny used his mid-section to cover Roy’s upper body and head.
“NO! Get out of here, God dammit! Leave us alone. Just get out.”
“Easy, Gage.”
Johnny started at the male voice and the touch of a hand on his shoulder. Not yet realizing what was happening, Johnny crouched closer over Roy.
“John. Get up. We need you to get up so we can see what we have.” The two paramedics who had entered the house now scanned the room, not understanding all the blood.
When Johnny didn’t move, the hands of Bill Grayson, paramedic from 110, grasped both of Johnny’s shoulders and began to pull him up. “Where are you hurt, John?”
Finally understanding what was happening, Johnny looked up at this peers. “Not me. It’s Roy.” Johnny was suddenly dizzy.
Just as Johnny was about to pass out, Ron Hamber, Bill’s partner, grabbed Roy’s neck, replacing the pressure of Johnny’s faltering hand.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Johnny was only vaguely aware of the activity around him at first. Shaking his head and gathering his senses, he was relieved to see that Roy was being taken care of and was, in fact, already on a stretcher.
Bill caught Johnny’s motion out of the corner of his eye. “Whoa there, Gage. You just stay still – we’ll be with you in a minute.”
Ignoring Grayson’s command, Johnny rolled onto his knees and moved over to Roy’s side. Looking first at this friend then at the paramedics, the pitiful look on Johnny’s face asked the question that he couldn’t voice.
“He’s going to be fine, Gage. Thanks to you.”
“Yeah, thanks to me.” Johnny’s voice was filled with disgust and self-recrimination.
“You did it, Gage. You kept the pressure. He’ll require some delicate surgery and a bit of recovery but he’s gonna be fine. Brackett will see to it.”
Johnny just looked at the men as he stood up.
“Wait a second, Gage.”
“I’m fine. Just get him in the ambulance. I’m going along too.”
“Damn right you are. Brackett is waiting for you too.”
Johnny started to argue the last comment but found he didn’t have the strength or the will. He quietly walked alongside the stretcher as Roy was removed from the house and into the ambulance.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The ride to the hospital was a blur – Johnny’s sole focus was each intake and release of breath that Roy took. He paid no mind to the siren, nor to the turning of the ambulance when it finally reached Rampart.
His mouth fell open when the ambulance doors flew wide, not even realizing they had stopped. The stretcher which held his attentions was pulled briskly from the vehicle and he made his exit just as quickly, determined to keep Roy in his sights. That is, until everything went black.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Johnny awoke to find himself laying on a gurney with Dixie standing beside him.
The first thing he was aware of was his own confusion. The next thing was Dixie’s hand firmly on his chest, stopping him from sitting up, despite his weak efforts.
“What – what happened?” he asked, shaking his head briskly as if that could make his dizziness pass.
“You came in with Roy,” she said gently. Dixie watched as the confusion faded and his face paled.
“Oh my God – Dixie? Is he … ?”
“He’s fine Johnny – do you hear me? He’s going to be just fine. Kel got him stabilized about thirty minutes ago and he’s in surgery right now, getting the damage repaired.”
“Joanne?” Johnny asked, letting his body relax a little as he laid back down.
“She’s already here. Listen Johnny, do you remember what happened? How did Roy get hurt like that, anyway?”
As if struck by a bolt of lightning, Johnny shot straight up from the gurney, trying his damndest to ignore the nausea that rose with him. “Gloria.”
“What?”
“Gloria did that – she went nuts – Roy was sitting out on the porch with me, hell, I thought she was asleep upstairs, but she was listening to us talking and she heard me tell Roy I didn’t love her. She just went ballistic, Dix! She was screaming and knocking over stuff, then she ran out in the kitchen and we thought she was going to kill herself with one of the knives out there. He was trying to talk to her – I really thought he was getting to her, but then she just lost it, and when she started yelling at me Roy snuck up beside her and tried to take the knife. She turned on him and jabbed out with that thing. The next thing I knew I was holding Roy and he was telling me to take care of Jo and the kids.”
Johnny took a deep breath, looking down at the floor before looking back up at Dixie. “He’s really okay?”
Dixie put her hand on John’s shoulder. “Really.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next five hours were a mass of confusion, guilt, and exhaustion for John Roderick Gage.
Between explaining things to the police, calling the guys from the station to let them know about Roy plus dealing with all of their concerns and questions, and then finally waiting for Roy to awaken from the anesthesia with Joanne, Johnny was totally exhausted.
When Mike offered the paramedic a ride home, Johnny was grateful. Though his guilt plagued him, he knew there was nothing more to be done at Rampart, and truth be known, he was bone tired.
It was 4am when Mike turned into Johnny’s driveway, and Johnny thanked him for the ride then watched him leave, preparing himself to walk into his own home - the place he almost lost his best friend.
Turning the knob, he opened the door slowly, too tired to think. Until his fingers moved over the light switch. It was then that his world turned began spinning again.
**Shit! The door wasn’t locked!** his mind was racing, knowing that Gloria could be anywhere, and since she had no car of her own, hell, where else would she go but back here?
Grabbing an umbrella from the coat rack beside the door, he let his hand wander back up the wall once more, never stopping his eyes from darting around the darkened livingroom. He was poised – ready to catch any movement, any sound. His hand reaching its destination, he turned on the overhead switch.
Just as he’d suspected, the livingroom had been torn apart. And he was sure the rest of the house would reflect the same. But he was too tired to care. He simply wanted to make sure Gloria was no where in the house.
He scanned the room quickly with his eyes, looking from corner to corner for anything out of place. It wasn’t until he had visually checked things twice that he relaxed his stance.
Finally allowing himself to breathe again, he leaned back into the wall, sighing heavily. Then he looked towards the kitchen – his body tensing again. Remembering that she had made her hasty exit through the kitchen door, he now realized that that, too, was probably unlocked. Then there was the barn, and the shed, hell, there were millions of places to hide in and around his small ranch.
Standing up stiffly, he made up his mind and took off throughout the house, assuring himself that she was not still there.
Once secure in his home, he practically fell into the sofa, which was the only apparent piece of furniture that hadn’t been ripped to shreds. His mind was weary and unable to process anything more. Sleep came almost instantly as he hoped for just a few hours rest.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sitting under some trees in the distance, Gloria watched the lights come on. **He’s home.** After the initial glow of lights at the side of the house, room by room the rest of the lights came on. **You won’t find me there, Johnny boy. Hope you’re sweating it out though.**
Sweating it out. Gloria had spent hours sweating out whether or not she would get caught. A time or two, she considered walking right up to one of the many cops or sheriffs that had been around the house. **Should I turn myself in?** Every time she seriously considered the act, she remembered what she had done. For all she knew, she would be arrested for murder. **What if Roy did die? He wasn’t really the one I was mad at. Damn you, John Gage. This is your fault. I hope Roy – and everyone - knows that this is ALL your fault!**
Staring at the house, Gloria thought about her rampage after everyone left. **I still can’t believe the door was unlocked. Stupid. Really stupid.** She played back the scene as she worked her way through the house. At first, she just broke the things that she knew were important to **him…the bastard…how can he not love me?** Looking around, she decided that there wasn’t enough damage, that she really wanted to hurt him. So, she broke everything that could be broken, cut every pillow and chair that she would find, upturned every piece of furniture in the house. **All except the sofa. I’ll leave the sofa. Give him somewhere to sleep amongst the hell I’ve created.**
Gloria closed her eyes and rested. She didn’t know what the morning would bring but she wanted to be ready.
The sound of a pickup truck roused Gloria from her sleep. She moved a bit to ensure that she was in the early morning shadow of the trees. Watching and listening, her mind was spinning. Carefully moving to better position herself, she watched as the person in the truck hesitated. **Mike.**
Mike Stoker sat with the truck running. He was unsure whether or not to disturb his friend. It had only been about 4 hours since he’d dropped him off. But, Mike had worried about Johnny all night. Finally, not being able to rest, Mike decided he needed to check on Johnny. He’d called Johnny’s number a few times but the phone was busy. Getting nervous, Mike decided to pay a visit to his friend. He was sure he’d look like a fool when he found out that Johnny had just taken the phone off the hook so he could rest. But, better safe than sorry.
Mike thought about it for another few seconds before deciding to make a quick trip to the door to see if Johnny was okay. **I’m not going to stay. Not unless Johnny wants me to.** Mike decided to leave the truck running so Johnny knew that he didn’t have to invite Mike in.
Johnny was startled by the knock on the door. Waking up and seeing the mess around him, Johnny yelled out in confusion.
“Johnny? You okay?” Mike was unnerved by the sound – the tone - of Johnny’s voice.
Regaining his senses, Johnny quickly made his way to the door. After seeing Mike standing on the porch, Johnny threw the door wide open. “Welcome to my world.”
“Holy shit!”
Johnny laughed.
“What can you possibly be laughing at?” Mike’s mouth still hung open in disbelief.
“You. I’ve never heard you say those words – or show that much surprise.” Johnny was glad to have something to smile about even if it was only briefly.
Taking in the view, Mike just shook his head. “Umm. Gosh, I didn’t expect that. I came over because I was trying to call you – you must have your phone off the hook.”
“The phone?” Johnny walked toward the kitchen. Without thinking, Mike followed him into the house.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gloria watched as Mike left and a smile spread across her lips as she realized the noise she heard was the engine of the truck, still running.
**Thank you, God! If I could have found Johnny’s or Roy’s keys last night, I’d have been a helluva lot more comfortable!**
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“The phone’s not off the hook, Mike. Off the goddamn wall! I didn’t even think to look at the phones.”
“Thank God you didn’t need to use it. Look at this…”
The slamming of the truck door and the screeching of the wheels caused both men to stop.
“Son-of-a-bitch!” Johnny was the first one to reach the porch. Looking at the dust trail left as the truck pulled out of the drive, Johnny turned to his friend. “Sorry ‘bout your truck, Mike. Let’s call…oh shit.”
Mike just continued to stare at the dust hanging in the air.
“C’mon Mike,” Johnny said, pulling his keys from his pocket. “Let’s ride into town and call the police.”
He gently nudged his friend, one hand on Mike’s shoulder and the other motioning him to walk towards the Land Rover. Mike started to move, then stopped abruptly, pointing towards a piece of paper on the deck, laying a few steps away from them.
Johnny leaned over and grabbed up the paper, turning it over to read it. His face registered his disgust as he showed it to Mike.
It read simply, “Consider us DISENGAGED, Johnny.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
That Sunday morning, the police had come and gone and Johnny had been questioned once again as the case against Gloria Hall was further made. Mike gave his statement about his truck’s disappearing right from under his nose, and soon after he had fixed the phone line in the kitchen, he promptly called everyone to come over and help get John’s place back in some sort of order.
Captain Stanley had taken Johnny over to Rampart earlier that afternoon while the rest of the crew worked on the ranch, trying to ease the paramedic’s burden however they could.
Johnny was surprised to see Roy sitting up in the hospital bed, and even more surprised to see the smile that greeted him. Though barely talking, his friend looked remarkably well, considering what had just happened to him less than twenty-four hours ago.
John Gage’s guilt hung heavily, something that all visitors and the patient were aware of in the room, and nothing seemed to waiver that; not even Roy looking at him gratefully for saving his life. No matter what, Johnny could not shake the blame he held on himself, bringing Gloria into their lives and damned near taking Roy’s.
When they were ready to leave, Joanne hugged Johnny, thanking him for saving Roy’s life as she cried, not noticing the stiffening of his body as she did so.
“How could she possibly be thanking me, Cap??” Johnny asked incredulously as Hank drove them back to the ranch. “If it wasn’t for me, Gloria would have never been in our lives to begin with!”
“John, we can’t control the people that enter our lives every day, nor what they do. The most we can hope for is to control the situations they bring with them.”
Johnny sat quietly for the rest of the ride home, contemplating his Captain’s words.
By 5pm that evening, much of the damage had been taken care of and removed, most of what was damaged was unable to be saved, but at least it was out of sight – the constant reminder for Johnny not directly under his nose any further. It didn’t matter to him though. The guilt over Roy’s hospitalization stayed fresh in his mind, with one other thing – getting Gloria caught and off the streets. No way was he going to allow her to hurt anyone else if he could help it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Taking a two-week leave of absence, John Gage became a walking target. With the help of the local police and sheriff’s office, the ranch and any trips Johnny made to and from it were being constantly monitored. Even his phone had been tapped, the police hoping that she would call, and hoping Johnny would be able to keep her on the phone long enough to trace her whereabouts.
Johnny went to the hospital at least twice a day while Roy was still there, then over to Roys’ house once he was released six days after his initial injury occurred. Roy was also being guarded by a deputy – one outside his hospital room door, then one stationed in a patrol car in front of his home once he was released. Johnny’s was not so visible, but was there, nonetheless.
During the whole time, Gloria had not been seen. She hadn’t been heard from. Nothing. It was as if she had vanished off the face of the Earth. But Johnny knew it couldn’t be that easy. They all did.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gloria Hall took off down Johnny’s driveway, slinging gravel in her wake as she stole away with Mike Stoker’s truck. **It was too easy! How stupid was that man to leave his truck running outside of Johnny’s home?!**
Quickly making her way towards her own home, she knew she’d have only a few minutes before Johnny would get to a phone. She’d made sure his phones were unusable, though at the time she didn’t have an exact reason why. Now grateful for her own cleverness, she ran quickly into her apartment, eager to grab a few things then get the hell out of there.
One thing her grandmother had taught her, and engraved in her mind, was to always keep money in a safe hiding place wherever she called home. The Depression had taught the older ones well that banks were unreliable. Though they promised to keep your money safe and insured, sometimes those promises were broken. Her grandmother had watched her family lose everything, and wanted her own children and their offspring to be wiser from her pain.
Gloria ran into her bathroom, reaching up under the sink where she hid the envelope taped tightly to the bottom of the porcelain fixture. Grabbing it up quickly, she ripped it open, counting the contents with an evil grin. Three hundred dollars. That would keep her going for quite a while.
Steadily, she went from there to her bedroom, grabbing up some clothes and personal items she felt she’d need. When she spied the wig box on top of her closet shelf, she grabbed it as well, smiling.
Throwing her hastily grabbed goods into brown paper bags, she was startled to hear someone at the front door. They weren’t knocking, either.
Listening carefully, she could hear her landlord talking with someone, complaining about finding the right key. Backing away slowly, she went into the kitchen and made her exit quickly, hearing the front door of the apartment squeak open as she quietly pulled the back door closed.
Once downstairs, first she noticed the police car parked directly in front of her building. She’d figured as much since Roy’s injury, knowing they’d catch up to her sooner or later. But she found her luck fantastic – getting out of there like that. Second she found the truck sitting as she left it – waiting for her. Apparently they hadn’t heard about her taking it yet.
Walking casually, she got into the truck and started it up, smiling as she pulled away from what was once her home.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As the days passed, she settled herself into a dumpy little motel in one of the lower income areas of town. Keeping herself as discreet as possible, she had managed to change her appearance, using the wig she’d had from a Halloween party years ago. She’d also cut away the bandages from her arm and forgone the sling she’d been given on her last trip to Rampart.
The truck she’d “borrowed” from Mike was now parked about a mile down from the motel. It was there she had found the perfect hiding spot in a secluded area where no one bothered to go into. The trees that surrounded the old abandoned car lot hid well its eastern side, where she had the truck parked in an open bay. If someone happened upon it, oh well. She really didn’t care. It wasn’t her