Hello, my name is Dave. I am the mascot of the Los Angeles Central Station of the California Highway Patrol. I am a dog. I used to sniff for drugs at the U.S.-Mexican border, but I sniffed way to many drugs. I am a retired cop.
This real nice man named Harlan adopted me. He is a mechanic for the CHP. Let me tell you about the people Harlan works with.
First, there is the person the humans call Grossie. He is VERY BIG. The guy is a walking encyclopedia. Sometimes the other officers walk away from him. Maybe he talks too much. If I could read, I would read what he writes for the Highway Patrolman. I like him.
Now for the person the tan boys and girls call Bear. He is TALL. He could play basketball for the Lakers. I get whiplash looking up at him. But I like it when he scratches my ears. If he ever bends down, I would lick his face.
Then there's Jon. Sometimes he puts his cowboy hat on me. Yee-haw!! He also has this real cool truck. He likes me, he really likes me. I only hope that he keeps that darn lasso away from me. Us dogs have to look our best, because we never know when a hot little poodle will walk in front of us. Note to myself; do NOT piddle on Jon's bike. It's the one without the baton.
Next is Turner. He's even taller than Bear. I need a chiropractor every time I look up at Turner. He makes kissy faces at me. It looks weird with that mustache. He must have been a dog in a previous life.
Sindy and Bonnie are two wonderful ladies. I wouldn't mind going home with either of them. I really love it when they make kissy faces at me. They also smell real nice.
I have a problem with Sergeant Getraer. First, he's the boss. Second, he always sneezes when he's around me. Finally, he scratches his arm. Maybe he has fleas. Someone get Paramedics Gage and DeSoto for this man. Note to myself: ALWAYS piddle on his bike.
Finally, there is Ponch. He could be a dancer at Chippendales. Nice guy, but I wish he had his own cup. I DON'T SHARE MY CUP WITH ANYBODY!!!!!! Next time he drinks out of my cup, his "little" black book is history. No More Mr. Nice Doggy!
This has completely tired me out. Now, it's naptime. Arf!
"My World and Welcome To It" ©1998 Melissa Kutcher. "CHiPs" and its characters © Metro Goldwyn Mayer, Inc. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.