An African Adventure
Jon closed his bedroom curtains drowning out the early morning sun. Fully clothed he flopped onto the bed and closed his eyes for the first time in over 48 hours. He was no sooner asleep than the shrill of the telephone woke him.
"Yeah," he answered thickly.
"What's this? Still in bed at 5:30am? I thought you got up much earlier."
"Some of us weren't lucky enough to get the flu. We've been working double shifts and overtime. The question is what are you doing up so early. I thought you were still sick."
"Oh I am," Ponch replied. Feeling a little guilty he coughed loudly. "But I've got great news."
"Oh no," Jon groaned. Good news from Ponch was never good news and somehow he always seemed to find himself involved.
"Don't sound so unenthusiastic you're going to love it. When I went to the doctor yesterday I met this woman."
"Another one?" Jon queried shaking his head in amazement. His partner's love life was more complicated than a soap opera.
"Anyway," Ponch continued ignoring the interruption, "she's won an all expense holiday for two. Only problem she can't go and was looking to sell the holiday at a very reasonable price. So I was thinking..."
"The answer is NO." Jon replied firmly, recalling the last time he was talked into going on a bargain holiday, which had turned out to be a trip to a nudist resort.
"Why not? I've already worked it all out. I'm due for a vacation and you've been working really hard, I'm sure Sarge will give you the time off."
"Ponch, I'm really not up to going to some resort for a weekend. I'd much rather go horse riding."
"A resort? A weekend? I'm talking Africa for 2 weeks. Wild life and the hot sun."
"Africa?"
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Two weeks later Jon found himself nervously pacing in the airport checking his watch every few minutes waiting for the notoriously late Poncherello. With hardly enough time to get to the departure counter Ponch sprinted towards him carrying the tickets. Destination Zimbabwe.
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"Maybe this won't be so bad," Jon commented looking around the lobby of the five star hotel. Ponch was grinning from ear-to-ear, surveying the passing talent that was primarily made up of rich tourists.
"Lets check in, partner." Ponch made his way over to reception, ready to hand over the accommodation vouchers.
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"I'm terrible sorry sir," the man behind the desk explained slowly for the third time, "but we do not give out accommodation vouchers for competitions. I suggest you return them from where you got them."
"Are you trying to tell me that these are fraudulent?" Ponch asked disgusted.
"I am afraid that it looks that way, sir."
"Problem?" Jon asked sipping on his complementary arrival drink.
"Looks like we got conned, partner."
Jon groaned. Trying to make the best of a bad situation he asked the price of the accommodation. "How much? " he gasped choking on the drink. "Ponch, I don't know about you, but I can't afford that."
"That makes two of us."
"Is there anywhere else we can try?" The receptionist shook his head, "There are a few places but with the school holidays, I don't how lucky you are going to be. Victoria Falls is not a very big town. If you try the less reputable places, once the locals hear you are from America they are going to try and charge you as much as they can."
"Not all Americans are rich you know." Ponch moaned.
The receptionist looked at Jon Baker dressed in his faded jeans, a plaid shirt and old boots. "I see that, sir. Perhaps the Tourist Bureau down the road will be able to help you."
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"Nothing at all." Ponch asked in disbelief as the lady at the tourist center dialed the last of the hotels on the list. "Not in your price range, sorry."
"What about camping sites?" Jon asked looking at a group of backpackers that were hanging around near the door.
"The National Parks Board camping ground is full, but there is another camp site next to it which has available sites. And you can pick up good second hand camping equipment at a very reasonable price."
Ponch groaned. This was supposed to be a luxury vacation. Being a city boy, Poncherello firmly believed that he was never meant to go camping.
"What do you say, Ponch?"
"Are there bathrooms?"
"Bathrooms and hot showers," the woman chuckled.
Armed with a handful of brochures Jon and Ponch went in search of camping equipment and transportation to the campsite.
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Ponch starred at the barren piece of land he was assigned to pitch his tent on. "When I get my hands..."
"Its not so bad." Jon said trying to cheer him up. "Check out theses brochures, there's lots to do."
"I suppose we could go white water rafting."
"That's the spirit." Jon clapped him on the back.
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"I'm going to die," Ponch thought as he felt himself being dragged under the water again and bouncing off some rocks. Suddenly he felt himself flying though the air and landing unceremoniously on the floor of the raft.
"That was fantastic!" Jon exclaimed wiping his hair out of his eyes as he turned to look at the rapid for the last time.
"Are you nuts? Have you finally lost your mind?" Ponch fumed. "I could have been killed. And it would have been your fault."
"My fault," Jon chuckled. "This was your idea."
"Yeah. But you're supposed to be the responsible one!"
The river guide laughed as he overheard two men. "Americans," he said finally as though that explained everything."
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Ponch felt his stomach drop as the raft was straightened for its decent down the 8th rapid. "Paddle hard!" the guide yelled, as the 8-man crew made their way towards the boiling water. The line up was perfect. Unfortunately as the raft entered the rapid the water seemed to disappear only to come crashing down on them creating surf. Ponch felt himself being lifted by the force of the water and hurled over the back of the raft, and trapped underneath it. Those still left on the raft were being tossed around like rag dolls.
Suddenly a hand grabbed Ponch by the life jacket as he floated past. Tempting fate Ponch allowed himself to open his eyes. Staring down at him was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. "If I'm dead and you're an angel my life was worth it," he said looking up.
"You're not dead," the woman laughed. "I see that you've had a really rough ride today," she added as she and two other women helped drag him into their raft.
"You don't seem to be to wet," Ponch noted.
"Of course not we took the chicken run down the rapid."
"There was a chicken run?" Ponch asked incredibly, wondering why their guide hadn't taken it. He looked over to the raft he had fallen off watching the others high-fiving one another, and then again at the all women crew he found himself in the company of. "That's it," he thought after lunch he would change rafts, under the guise of joining the women. Sometimes having the reputation of being a playboy had its uses.
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"Man that was something else," Jon said eating hungrily. Ponch was uncharacteristically quite, trying to work out how he could change rafts for a more docile run down the rest of the Zambezi River. "What do you say we change rafts and join that all women team?" Ponch asked hoping that Jon would take the bait.
"They're taking all the chicken runs, Ponch. Where's the fun in that?"
"I was thinking that maybe we could get to know the young ladies and upgrade our accommodation," Ponch explained.
"You can change," Jon said pleasantly.
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"I see your friend has abandoned you."
Jon looked at the cute blonde now sitting in Ponch's position in the raft. He smiled, "you don't mind changing places with him?"
"Not at all. I grew up around here and I've been down the river a couple of times. In any case I got tired of hearing them complain about their husbands."
"You're all married?" Jon asked in amusement.
"They are. They're on a girl's day out if you like. Their husbands are playing golf. I'm Jackie Cooper."
"Jon Baker."
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Ponch was finally enjoying the rafting. The water in the later rapids was less violent and he had the company of seven women. A situation he was making the most of.
By the end of the day he had successfully flirted with all of them.
At the take out point, Ponch had offered to carry their equipment up the gorge.
"Are you going to manage all that?" Jon asked seeing Ponch hoist all 8 paddles, helmets and life jackets over his shoulder.
"No sweat partner. If things go according to plan we could be having dinner at that posh hotel."
"Ponch, maybe they're involved."
"No way partner. I know women."
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By the time Ponch reached the top of the gorge he was dripping with perspiration and could barely breathe.
"Thanks friend." A man at the top said. "It was real gentlemanly of you to carry our wives equipment up."
Ponch looked completely surprised.
"I tried to warn you." Jon handed the exhausted man a cold drink.
"What a nightmare!"
"Not at all," Jon grinned mischievously. "Jackie, the woman you change places with, her folks own holiday homes around here. Anyway I've been invited to stay with her family. They've a house boat on Kariba dam and a game farm a couple of miles from here."
"You going to leave me in that camp site by myself." Ponch was dumbfounded.
"Not at all. She's got a sister."
Ponch looked over to the woman. If her sister looked anything like her, the next couple of days were going to be magic he thought.
"A sister?" Ponch beamed.
"It's not what you think." Jon tried to explain.
"Thanks partner. This has got to be a first." With newfound energy he made his way over to introduce himself to Jackie.
Jon shook his head and smiled. Maybe this wasn't the time to tell Ponch the sister was only 12 and he would be playing a baby-sitting role.
"An African Adventure" ©1999 Caryn Beynnon. "CHiPs" and its characters © Metro Goldwyn Mayer, Inc. All rights reserved. " No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.
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