(This POV reflects canon in that Abby and Hutch got back together after Gillian)
ABBY’S POV
by
I called my good friend Donna and told her that I was going to have ‘the discussion’ with Hutch tonight. We need to come to some decision over the future of our relationship, and if there is one.
Hutch and I had been seeing each other on and off for a couple of years; eventually becoming exclusive. But then a few months ago I got scared. I realized I had fallen deeply in love with him, but I was worried about his job. He’s a cop, and a good one. Because he’s so good, he puts himself in harm’s way a lot. I know it goes with the job, but sometimes I wonder if he and his partner, Dave Starsky, take too many chances. One of these days someone’s going to pay, and I didn’t know how I would handle it if Hutch got hurt badly. So I cooled the relationship.
Then about a month ago, Hutch called me up again. He wanted to get together, talk, maybe see each other again. I realized how much I had missed him in my life. There was a melancholy aura around him. What had happened in the month or so I hadn’t seen him to get him so down?
Hutch and I have so much in common. We’re both into healthy foods and lifestyles. We jog together each morning and then take a shower and have a quick health shake for breakfast. That is, when I spend the night over at his place. We both enjoy the arts and music. This last month we’ve grown even closer and our feelings for each other have deepened, I hope. I felt I was getting over my worries concerning his job: the time spent, the dangers, the responsibilities.
But then Hutch got hurt the day before yesterday. Some creep has been hasseling him. Throwing bricks through his window, depositing unwelcome refuse in his refrigerator. Then they blew up the trunk of his car. Too bad they didn’t get the whole thing. His hand was covered in second and third degree burns, and his forefinger broken – his right hand. Which makes it extremely difficult for him to work. But he keeps plugging away, and those feelings of worry and fear are flooding back full force.
So I told him tonight I would make him a nice meal, and he promised we could have the entire evening alone – just him and I; to talk, cuddle, or anything else.
*****
Hutch? Please come home. I hurt. Please come; somebody please come. Help me. I can hear sirens in the background through a tunnel. Help me. Please be coming for me. And then I knew no more.
*****
The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the hospital with Hutch by my side, asleep in the visitor’s chair. My arm felt very heavy and glancing at it, I realized it was casted. Why? What happen…Oh And I remembered. The tall, thin teen with the sunglasses and menacing smile. Sliding through the door with that crazed look on his face. How he smacked me so hard I fell over into the coffee table.
I began to tremble, and unbidden it all came back. My trembling increased so that it woke up Hutch as he held my good hand. He lifted his head from his chest and I could see the pain in his eyes and how the furrowed line between them appeared deeper with fear. But right now, I wasn’t worried about he looked. I was shivering with cold; even with the blankets over me, I couldn’t get warm.
Hutch must’ve realized I was going through some kind of post-traumatic stress reaction and gathered me in his arms as I fell onto his chest. I couldn’t hold back anymore and broke down into sobs. It took me awhile to calm down, but Hutch continued to rub my back and massage his thumb into the back of my good hand.
Settling down, my unencumbered hand loosened from Hutch’s and I raised it to my eyes to wipe them. “I’m so sorry.”
“Shhh…It’s okay. You’re allowed.” Hutch can be a great comforter. I know when Starsky got shot last year, Hutch dropped everything – even me – to take care of his partner while he was recuperating. Because I know how protective he is of Starsky, it didn’t bother me at all that Hutch spent the majority of his free time with him. The two have a special relationship that no one can come between.
I stayed at the hospital for a couple of days; concussion and emotional trauma the doctor said. When I was released, I couldn’t be alone. It’s a frightening feeling, and one I can’t describe here. But I couldn’t stay at Hutch’s. So I went to my girlfriend’s.
I thought a lot about our future, or my future, those few days at Donna. I guess it never really hit me before. How close to home the danger of being a cop is and how it can affect your personal life. I needed to ask myself if I loved Hutch enough. Did I love Hutch enough? Was exchanging my life or my safety worth that price?
I wish someone would give me the answers.
